What a beautiful day in Ponyville! The sun is shining and not a cloud in the sky! Whoops. Except that one. How long has that been there? And there’s one over there too. Ugh. I can never manage to get them all the first time.

“Your shift is over, Derpy,” my weather manager said. “Don’t worry, we’ll get the other ones.”

“Other ones?” I asked quizzically. I looked around a little bit more and saw a few more clouds that I had missed in my attempt to clear up the sky. “Ugh. Thanks, boss! I’ll try to get them all next time.”

My boss smiled and waved, which I mirrored before taking off towards Cloudsdale. My home was Ponyville, but my work was in the cloud city right next to it. I worked two jobs: one as a weather mare and the other as a mail mare. I made a lot of screw ups at work, so they would never let me work more than part time, forcing me to take two jobs. I liked it, though. It meant that I got to see all my friends in both Cloudsdale and Ponyville!

“Happy Thursday, Derpy!” my supervisor said as I walked into the post office blissfully.

“Every day is a happy day, boss!” I retorted. “Any news?”

“Well, one of your packages from yesterday made it to the wrong house.”

Again? “Whoops. My bad.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just be sure it gets to the right owner on your route today, OK?”

“You got it boss!” Hardly able to contain my excitement, I grabbed my bag and flew out the door. Today would be the day that I showed my boss that I could go a whole day without anything going wrong! I could just feel it.

“Hey, Derpy!” a voice from bellow called out. I descended to see my friend Cloudchaser waving at me. “Oh, whoops. I didn’t know you were on your route already.”

“It’s OK. I’m sure the boss won’t mind if I chat for a minute. How’re you doing today?”

“Well…” she said averting eye contact to the cloud she was standing on, “I’m kinda worried about Flitter. Maybe not worried as much as concerned, I guess. You know how she is, always flying off on some adventure and not coming back for a while. This time, though, it’s been a week, and I still haven’t seen any trace of her.”

“Hey, cheer up, Cloudchaser,” I said with a bright smile on my face. She brought her eyes back up to mine and gave me a small smile. “I’ll tell you what! I’ll be on the lookout for her while delivering my mail today! If I can’t find her during my shift, then I’ll keep looking, and when I find her, I’ll let her know that she has a sister at home who can’t wait to see her again.”

Cloudchaser’s smile grew brighter. I seemed to be legitimately cheering her up. Good work, Derpy! “Hey, Derpy,” she started. “How are you so cheerful all the time?”

“I guess it comes from living in Ponyville.” I replied, holding my head up high. My cutie mark was a set bubbles because it represented my bubbly, optimistic personality. Optimism: my very special talent. “My friends have taught me that even when things go wrong, we can always make up for it. I just know things will get better. Soon, I’ll be a full time mail mare!”

Cloudchaser giggled and hugged me. “I know you will, Derpy. Promise me that you’ll never give up on what you believe in.”

“I promise.”I said returning the hug. “Just promise me you’ll help me believe.”

“I promise. I’ve got my own dreams too, you know. One day I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt. Let’s help each other make our dreams come true.”

“That sounds like a great—Oh horse feathers! I’d better get going! Bye, Cloudchaser!” I flew away, leaving Cloudsdale behind me and coming up to my home on the ground: Ponyville.

It was beautiful. Ponies were all out enjoying their day. Now it was my job to make sure that they got a letter from their loved ones and seeing their faces light up with smiles. “Let’s see,” I said to myself. “Who’s first?” I pulled out a letter addressed to Big Macintosh, and suddenly my smile faded. “Uh-oh.” I had always admired him, but had never gotten much of a conversation going with him. It seemed like he only ever said “yup” or “nope” to anything I ever said, but this time I was gonna get a conversation out of him if it killed me.

Knock knock! The door to Big Mac’s home opened up, and a small yellow pony with a bushy red mane peaked her head out. “Hey, there, Ms. Mailmare,” she said cheerfully. “What kin ah do fer ya?”

“Well, I uh… I have a present—LETTER for Big Macintosh,” I said with an embarrassed smile.

“Ah’ll give it to ‘im for ya.”

“NO!” The yellow filly took a step back, startled by my sudden outburst. “I mean uh… I can’t do that. It’s the postal code that I’m not allowed to give the letter to anypony but the letter recipient.” The filly gave me a stern look, causing me to look away nervously.

“Not even tah family members?”

“Well… How do I know you’re a real family member?”

Her expression suddenly went dull. “Really?”

“Well… you could be a changeling!”

“And how do you know my brother ain’t a changeling? And what in tarnation would a changeling be doin’ round these parts?”

I sighed. “Point taken.”

Just as I reached into my bag, I heard a deep voice ask, “Applebloom? Who’re you talkin’ to?” My whole body froze, yet I was burning up. I was shaking, yet I didn’t move. Maybe I should give Applebloom the letter after all before he sees me? Yeah, I’ll just—“Hello?” Drat. Big Mac popped his face out the barn door and looked me right in the eyes (at least the best he could). “Mail time already?” he said with a smile.

Shaking, I put my hoof into my bag and answered, “Eeyup.” I quickly pulled the letter out, catching him off guard with how quickly I reacted. Smiling as wide as I could, I handed him his letter. As he grabbed it, he didn’t look back up. My smile was starting to fade. “You have a good day now!”

“Eeyup.” Without looking back up, he casually shut the barn door.

I slumped down for a second, allowing my heart beat to slow down. “Awww. Another visit without any progress. Oh, who are you kidding, Derpy?” I flew away dejectedly towards my next house, which wasn’t too far away. “Who would want to have any conversation with a mare like you? You don’t have the looks of a princess.”

I didn’t mean to be down on myself, but it was something that had been bugging me recently. I hadn’t been on a date in years, and now that I was a mare, girls my age were starting to either find a perfect stallion or settle down so that they could get going on their career. I especially hated this feeling ‘cause it made me feel… well… vulnerable... But that part isn’t important right now.

I delivered letter after letter, seeing the smiles of everypony that I visited, and with every new smile came a new burst of joy for me. Although I didn’t know many of these ponies, they were still my friends. I’d do anything for these guys. Weird, right? Haha well, I guess that’s just who I am. I love every pony in Ponyville, and whether they were young, old, newly moved in, long-term resident or even left Ponyville years ago, they had a friend who they could always count on.

With my mood nearly back to the original warm feeling, I knocked on what seemed like my 50th door. My bag was almost empty now! Yay! I had never been to this pony’s house before, though. She must not get letters very often.

A yellow earth pony mare with a dark black mane opened up the door with an enticing appearance and a sultry grin. She was wearing some black eyeliner with dark mascara. Her hips curved in a way to make anypony’s legs give out. Wow! Now that’s what I wanted to look like! “Yes?” she asked.

Getting caught off guard (I have to admit, just looking at her was putting me in a trance), I quickly recollected myself and handed the mare her letter. “I have a delivery for you, ma’am.”

“How thoughtful of you!” she said. “You know what? Why don’t you come inside? I just made some homemade tea and cookies.” I noticed that the side of her flank had a picture of a loaf of bread. She must be good at baking! Score!

“Well, I guess I’m ahead of schedule anyway,” I said excitedly.

Inviting me in, she said, “How wonderful! It could be like a tea party!” We both galloped blissfully into the kitchen, and the aroma of freshly baked products filled the room. “You know, I’m actually kind of new here in Ponyville, and it’s so nice to have somepony over for a change.”

“It’s no problem at all, really. I love making new friends, and what better way to meet ponies than through their stomach?” She giggled enchantingly. Gosh, I wish I was her.

We passed the threshold which led to her kitchen, and the aroma of freshly baked products tingled all my emotions once again. (Boys, take note: If you want the path to a girl’s heart, food is way better than flowers.) I gazed at the variety of baked goods that laid all over her countertops with tea steaming atop her oven. “Now, what can I get you first?” she asked. “You strike me as a muffins kind of girl.”

My expression went blank. “You know, that’s not the first time somepony has said that to me before. Why does everypony think I’m such a big muffins pony?”

“My mistake,” she said, turning back to her selection of deserts with a disheartened expression. I heard her mumbling something, but I couldn’t quite grasp what she was saying. “Why don’t we start off with just some cookies and a glass of tea, then?” Her sultry look returned as she grabbed a plate of cookies in her mouth and put them on the table between us.

“I really shouldn’t stay too long, though,” I said. “I do have a route to finish up, and if I don’t get all my letters delivered on time—”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear,” she said placing the tea kettle on the table and taking her place in the seat across from me. There were already two glass cups set up. It was almost as if she had been expecting company. “Here, let me pour you a glass.” She grabbed the tea kettle with her mouth and poured it slowly into my glass, arching her back and tilting her head towards me, giving me a seductive look. I couldn’t help but get distracted at the sight. “Please, dig in.”

I shook my head to snap out of it and began eating my cookies. “My name is Derpy Hooves, by the way,” I said.

“Oh! How rude of me! My name is Honeysuckle. Pleased to meet you.” With that, a ding came from the oven. Turning towards it, she muttered, “Hope you don’t mind if I get that.” She turned around and pulled the oven door open, thrusting her backside into the air, lifting up her tail as far as it seemed like it would go, casually revealing her marehood. Upon putting an oven mitt carefully in her mouth, she returned to pull out a tray of cupcakes, spreading her legs wider to pull the treats out carefully.

I suddenly felt a clenching feeling down below. Remember that whole vulnerable thing I said wasn’t important earlier? It’s important now. Without thinking, I quickly crossed my legs, almost as if she’d be able to see that she was making me tighter with each seductive move that she made.

Upon putting the baked goods on top of the counter, she immediately began to apply frosting. Its color was a very odd shade of white, which she was squeezing out of a tube with her mouth. Just before decorating the fourth cupcake, she accidentally squeezed some of the frosting out onto her upper shoulder. “Silly me,” she said with a giggle, and very slowly, she let out her tongue and sensually licked up the white frosting, swallowing it with pleasure, even letting out a slight moan.

I was starting to get really wet. I’m a sucker for anypony being as casually sexual as that. I wanted her to lick me up just like that. I wanted her to put that long, moist tongue of hers between my lady lips and go as deep as she could. I wanted to put my legs between hers so I could show her just how good it feels to get her tail pulled.

OK, Derpy. Maybe that’s a little too far. “You know what, Honeysuckle?” I began, trying not to sound timid. “This has been great and all, but I really need to get back to my route.”

Honeysuckle puckered her lips while giving me a sad look. “Oh, won’t you just stay for a minute longer? I really do need somepony to help me… taste test a few of my delicacies.” She added a wink at the end, and I was hoping that this was just my imagination playing tricks on me. She wasn’t trying to turn me on… Was she?

She took a few steps closer. I took a few steps back until I had hit the wall behind me. “Uhh… Honeysuckle?”

“Just one more minute?” She leaned into my ear and whispered, “I just get so lonely sometimes.” As she pulled away, she slowly took a nibble at my ear, which caused me to accidentally let out a moan. Dang it! How did she know that was my weak spot? Giggling, she replied, “So I guess that means maybe deep down you really do want to stay?”

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Drat. She caught me. I was horny. Very horny, as a matter of fact. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just did what came naturally to me. I bit my lower lip, closed my eyes gently and nodded my head. “Do I make you wet?” she asked me as she nibbled my ear again.

Gasping again, I nodded my head. “Mmhmm.”

“Do you want to teach me a lesson?” Her voice was as soft as it could go. I was almost shaking from head to horseshoe. I nodded my head again, this time without being subtle. She turned her flank towards me and lifted her tail into the air. “Then do it. Do to me what I did to you.” She gave me a sultry grin and winked at me again, making sure I noticed her long, dark, sexy eyelashes.

I lifted a forehoof towards the direction of her private parts, slowly, seeing as how I was too intimidated to know exactly what I wanted. As my hoof got closer, she pushed her plot closer. “Honeysuckle?”

“Yes, Derpy?”

“I think I’d like one of those muffins now, if you don’t mind.”

She had a disappointed look on her face, but politely walked me back to her kitchen countertop where the muffins sat. “Thanks again,” I said, trying to sound as apologetic as I could. “I really should get going, though.”

“I understand. I know I’m not really in the position to be asking favors, Derpy, but could you taste test one for me? I mean actually taste test the muffin this time.”

Smiling at how well the situation had panned out, I replied. “No problem.” I sunk my teeth into it, getting the weirdest taste out of any muffin I’d ever had. It wasn’t bad; I just couldn’t tell the flavor. Cherry? Or maybe grape… Blueberry? “Your talent sure is baking!”

“That’s why I need to apologize in advance.” I tilted my head, confusedly. “Just to let you know, when you wake up, you’re not going to be in any danger. I’m sorry. This was just the only way to make sure everything was kept secret. Just remember, don’t panic! You’ll be OK. Somepony will be there to explain everything to you.”

“What are you talk…” The room started spinning. Suddenly, everything was blurry and my head started losing oxygen. “I guess it was my nap time anyway.”

CRASH!

I was laying on some hard, rocky surface when I woke up. I jolted up and looked around me. Where was I? What had just happened? “Hello?” I called out. Nopony answered. “Honeysuckle? Anypony?” My heart began racing. What was I doing there? “Somepony! Anypony!” There was no answer.

I flew up into the air to see if I could find the exit. No luck. I was in what looked like a cave, and there was barely enough light for me to see where the walls and ceiling were. Allowing my instincts to kick in, I bolted forward, flying as fast as I could. I didn’t know where I was going or if I’d ever get anywhere. I didn’t know if I’d ever make it out… “What if I never get to see Ponyville again?” Tears filled up my eyes, and I bawled hysterically. What did it matter? Nopony was around to see me. That was that saddest moment I had ever felt in my life. “Why me? What did I ever do to anypony?” I sobbed my lungs out as hard as I could, but even louder than my sobs came another sound.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

I snapped to my feet, looking for where the sound came from. I wasn’t alone. Red lights flashed in the distance in front of me. “What?” I asked myself. “I’m not alone?” I galloped towards the lights. I didn’t know whether or not it was safe. I just didn’t want to be by myself.

A pony was shouting from where the noise was coming from. “Hello?” I called out. “Is somepony there?” Out of the darkness, I saw a blue unicorn with a silver mane, wearing a blue wizard hat and cape. Yes! Maybe I had a way out after all!

“What’s going on?” the mare asked. “Who are you?”

Smiling, I replied, “A friend.”

“Where am I?” she asked angrily. “What’s your name? What am I doing here?”

My smile faded slightly. “Oh, you don’t know what we’re doing here either?” The unicorn’s scowl suddenly mirrored my depressed expression. “How did you get here?”

“I’m not sure. I was following a voice which led me to the end of the Everfree forest. It asked me if I would help save ponies’ lives, and well… I guess I fell for it. What about you?”

“Last thing I remember is a mare trying to get me to hoof her.”

“And that’s where we’re going to cut that conversation,” the blue unicorn said, whose expression had suddenly turned pale. “Maybe we should start looking for a way out.”

I nodded my head and lifted off into the air, following the mare as she walked. “So my name is Derpy Hooves. What’s your name?” I asked.

The blue unicorn scoffed. “You really don’t know who I am? Then allow me to introduce myself. The world’s most talented, daring and beautiful magician in all of Equestria: the Great and Powerful TRRRIXIIEEE!” She leapt to her hind hooves with her forelegs stretched towards the sky. She was smiling as though roses were falling all around her.

“Is it OK if I just call you Trixie?”

The unicorn sighed and slumped back onto all four of her hooves on the ground. “Sure.”

“Phew, that’s much easier to remember.”

Suddenly, her ear twitched and she moved her head in several different directions. “WAIT!” she interjected.

“Awww, but I just put Trixie into my memory. Don’t tell me you changed your mind.”

“Quiet! I hear something!” I just hovered there silently. “…Water…”

“What?”

“Water, Derpy! I hear a stream! Do you know what this means?” I shrugged. “It means that it will probably lead us somewhere! Maybe it will help us find a way out!”

“A stream?! Let’s go!” Trixie galloped towards the sound and I flew behind her, happily. I could see just a hint of water being reflected against the cave walls up ahead. Looks like this day wasn’t gonna turn out so bad after all! As soon as we got to the area where the water was, we could see a large waterfall coming from several stories up where a cliff towered over us. There was no real sunlight or sign of any outside world, but at least we knew where to start. “It looks like we’re gonna have to get to the edge of the cliff first.”

“Well, you have wings, don’t you?” Trixie asked bluntly. “Get up there and see if you see anything!”

“Okie dokie, Trixie.” Upon getting half way there, I looked down to see how far up I had gotten, just in case I needed to carry Trixie all the way up with me. No sooner had I done so when I saw a body on the floor several yards behind where Trixie stood. Gasping, I bolted back to the ground.

“Derpy! What are you doing?”

“Trixie! Look!” I pointed in the direction of the body. Trixie looked away in disgust.

“Congratulations. You found a dead body. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to not catch rabies and find a way out of here. Both at the same time, preferably.”

“What if she’s alive, though? We should go check.” As Trixie expressed her lack of enthusiasm, I galloped toward the body. She was a lavender-colored earth pony mare with a pink mane. Her cutie mark was of three sunflowers with smiling faces. She didn’t look dead (although I don’t know what a dead pony looks like, exactly). She just looked cold and alone… kinda like me when I first woke up in this cave. “I think she’s gonna wake up, Trixie. I think she’s just passed out like I was when I woke up in this cave.”

“And Trixie thinks that you’re just wasting your time.”

I ignored her and tapped the pony gently on her shoulder. “Come on, my little pony. You can do it. Open those eyes of yours and let the sunshine in.”

“Or lack thereof.”

“You’re not helping, Trix—”

The pony’s eyelids squeezed together. I gasped, smiling at Trixie. “See? I told you she’d wake up!”

“Hmmph. She should consider herself lucky.”

“Oh, stop it. Neither of us died, did we?”

“You didn’t honestly think that—”

“Ugghhh…” The lavender pony slowly got to her hooves, rubbing her neck. As soon as she opened her eyes to see my brightly lit smile, her eyes widened with fear. “What?!” she exclaimed. “Where am I?”

“That’s what we’ve been asking,” I replied.

The mare looked at both of us confusedly and stuttered, “Who… who are you two?”

“The name’s Derpy Hooves, and this is Trixie.”

Trixie gave a disapproving gaze to the pony. “Charmed,” she said with hardly any sincerity to her tone.

“My name’s Cheerilee…” She sadly looked around her, taking in her environment. “So… neither of you know just where we are or what’s going on?”

“Well,” Trixie began, “Derpy was about to look over that waterfall over there to see if she could find a way out, but she got distracted on the way up.”

“With what?” Cheerilee asked. Trixie gave her a blank stare. “Oh, it was probably me, wasn’t it?” Trixie’s stare held. “Well, Ms. Derpy, why don’t you try it one more time?”

“That won’t be necessary,” a fourth voice chimed in.

“That voice…” Trixie started. “Trixie knows that voice! YOU!” We all turned and looked at the top of the waterfall where a mysterious pegasus looked down at us. Her coat was a pale, light grayish blue. Her mane was light blue. She was wearing a pink bow and had a black eye patch over her right eye. Wait a second. I knew this pony too.

“F-Flitter?”

Author's Note

About the muffin thing, I understand why people say she's such a big muffins pony, but personally, I think it was just the fandom grasping at any line they could get out of her so that they could make a meme out of it. Thus, in my story, she thinks muffins are good, but she doesn't love them any more than the average pony.

About the whole wanting to have sex with Honeysuckle part, let me clear some things up. In my Equestria, sexual orientation does not exist. They have relationships with members of the opposite sex so that they can reproduce. However, they can get horny from any pony who knows how to turn them on. Thus, Honeysuckle could give Derpy the best orgasm she's ever had, but you would never see them in a relationship.