The Princess' Lament
This was wrong in every sense of the word…and yet, I had to keep a brave face for my loyal subjects. Presiding over the night in itself felt infinitely wrong, but even more so because the blame for why I was forced to do so rests with me. It was my own pride and arrogance that caused this to be…and every last one of these thousand winters has been colder and darker because of it.
While princess of the sun and the day, there is no light or warmth for me…just a cold mockery of a reminder of what I have lost, and the fact that it was my own fault. And yet every day I lower the moon – her moon – and raise the sun, putting on a fake smile and going about the day. As terrible and heartless as it sounds, I am actually glad that the few ponies who knew the truth have long since passed. No longer must I face their judging eyes…their faces a mask of happiness concealing disdain. Now I must only face myself every day. To look into the mirror and see my own face looking back…it sickens me. I do not deserve to look as beautiful as I do. No…instead I deserve to look like the monster I was. After all, a beloved princess does not banish her own beloved sister to the bucking moon for a millennium.
No…that is something a wretched beast does.
Every evening, I reach out and touch the sun's counterpart, coaxing it gently towards the sky, and every night, I drop tears of regret in solitude. Never do I allow my subjects to visit during this time...it is private. It is a personal act, between Luna and I, though I sometimes fear she cannot hear me. The guilt has caused my sanity to wane, twisting me into a pony I fear she would not recognize. Unfortunately, speaking to another about it is out of the question. Beyond the mere fact that none alive could understand what I feel, it would cause the peace that I worked so hard to preserve to collapse. It was peace that Luna had wished for, as in truth, it was she that had given all she was simply to bring happiness and joy to our subjects. If only they knew the truth...it was in fact Luna that was always the loving heart of the two of us, and without her, I have been lost.
I wish to find my way once again.
It was not so bad the first hundred years or so, but each year after simply caused the guilt to weigh more heavily upon me…and I deserved it. I saw the signs of her unhappiness, but did nothing to stop it. Instead, I was foalishly wrapped up in my own greatness and the love the ponies gave me…so much so that I did not notice just how dark the shadow I cast had become. This shadow of my greatness and pride fell upon my beloved Luna…and I did nothing to alleviate her feelings of inadequacy.
I used the Elements of Harmony to restore harmony to the world and banish Nightmare Moon from it, but justice was not done that day. The blame was my own, but the punishment was wrought upon an innocent soul, crying out for help…for love and adoration.
Tonight as I look upon the moon, I feel regret, guilt, and self-loathing. And so, as I have for the past five centuries, I sing a lullaby to my dearest sister – the pony I love more than life itself – in hopes that somehow, some way, she can hear it. I hope that in some way, it brings her some small amount of solace in the prison I have banished her to for a fault that was not her own. What was once a simple way to keep my sanity has become a prayer of sorts to the beloved sister I banished, in hopes that somehow she can hear me…and may one day find it in her pained heart to forgive me for an unforgivable crime. It is a foalish notion in itself to think that I could be forgiven, but I hope for it nonetheless.
Like so many nights before, I finish my soft lullaby with a few tears of loneliness and heartache falling onto the cold stone beneath my hooves. I look upon the moon again, noticing the foreboding shape of a pony upon its surface, and speak my heart…
"Dear Luna,
Long has it been since I have last seen your face – your beautiful smile, and your wonderful shining blue eyes. It has been harder than I could have ever imagined to be without you, and I hope that in some way you can hear me when I say that I am so, so sorry. I ask…no, plead for your forgiveness for my terrible crime. Please…please forgive me for my blindness and my pride. You are loved more than you could ever possibly know, and I ask your forgiveness for not showing it to you sooner. To think that your feelings of loneliness and lack of love were my own doing…it pains me deeply. No pony should ever feel that way, dear sister…least of all you. I hope you can find it within yourself to one day forgive me for the monster I am, but I cannot help but smile now as I realize your imprisonment is drawing to an end. Luna…I love you and miss you so much it hurts, and I anxiously await your return.
May you sleep well, moon princess, bathed in the beautiful moonlight of your night.
Goodnight, dear sister…I love you."
As I turn away from the window and let slip another tear, I begin thinking of another pony, one I had heard of earlier today. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and even at birth, I can feel her immense magical power even from the palace.
'Dear sister…the Elements are resonating to set you free. Come home soon.'
