Cover Image

Woundsalt, Mother Bucker.

by OneUppington
Meet the most cynical pony in Canterlot, who under the latest Princess' orders, moves to Ponyville to meet up with the Mane Six for his own quest to find friends. Many Swear words ensue.

Stop me if you heard this one: I have been sent to Ponyville on a personal quest. Now I'm stuck in a town with a cowgirl with a manly-sounding name, A crazy cat lady with variety, a damsel who wants to make me look fabulous, an egomaniac (who could be gay... it's the hair), and a mare so hyped up I swear she was on something.

No, I'm not Twilight Sparkle, but it is HER friends. I don't have any. That's why I'm stuck here. My name is Woundsalt.

Uber thanks to Carnival for this magnificent creation of a cover.

And do you really need a warning that there are spoilers in the comments? I expected more from you.

FANGROUP!
PATREON!
FEATURED SINCE 30/08/14 AND PRETTY MUCH DOING IT SINCE!

Teen
Complete
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Comedy
Romance
Sex
Slice of Life
 
OOODM

96901 words: Estimated about 8 hours to read
Download:textHTMLePUB

44 Chapters:

  1. Torment and Tiaras 2013-04-03 14:01:38 UTC
    2353
  2. Last Night of my Life 2013-04-03 16:24:20 UTC
    1155
  3. Fly Low, Sweet Chariot. 2013-06-23 00:35:29 UTC
    1342
  4. Say hello to My Little Friends! 2013-09-15 05:52:17 UTC
    2417
  5. A few words with... Mom. 2013-12-04 10:07:48 UTC
    2619
  6. A Hard Day's Surprisingly Harder Night 2014-01-26 07:52:07 UTC
    2996
  7. Bitchin' in the Kitchen 2014-05-24 05:27:07 UTC
    2001
  8. A Dash of Conversation 2014-06-10 16:15:08 UTC
    1922
  9. All Migraines Great and Small 2014-06-17 15:59:00 UTC
    2538
  10. Barking Up the Wrong Tree. 2014-06-22 14:32:14 UTC
    1632
  11. A Page Well Turned Over 2014-06-25 17:40:27 UTC
    2497
  12. Beneath a Radiant Southern, Cross 2014-07-04 13:04:40 UTC
    1858
  13. So She Hired a Striper 2014-07-21 18:11:05 UTC
    2251
  14. Hey There, Good Looking 2014-07-27 19:06:52 UTC
    2208
  15. A Cartful of Bad Planning 2014-08-03 11:49:14 UTC
    1409
  16. The Madness of the Material Mare 2014-08-09 17:52:28 UTC
    1604
  17. Fitted for Disaster 2014-08-16 11:02:46 UTC
    1469
  18. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 2014-08-23 14:36:41 UTC
    1690
  19. Questionable Term of Pleasantries 2014-08-30 10:20:44 UTC
    2247
  20. Where Everypony Knows Your Name 2014-09-06 16:01:02 UTC
    1836
  21. Nothing Can Stop the Booze! 2014-09-20 18:55:05 UTC
    2080
  22. Parental Guidance is (Un)Advised 2014-10-19 14:10:46 UTC
    1750
  23. Check Out the Size of My Diction 2014-11-09 16:59:45 UTC
    1958
  24. Original Sin 2014-11-20 13:59:24 UTC
    2910
  25. Ruffled Pegasi and Ripped Pages 2015-01-02 07:46:08 UTC
    2821
  26. Some Brother's Do 'Ave 'Em 2015-01-07 17:49:54 UTC
    1677
  27. Silence in the Library (Yeah, Right) 2015-01-14 17:51:39 UTC
    1685
  28. Much Ado About Nothing 2015-01-29 12:18:27 UTC
    1480
  29. I Hate Fetch Quests 2015-02-12 15:12:54 UTC
    2957
  30. Pressing Buttons 2015-02-22 04:29:39 UTC
    1541
  31. Salty Towers 2015-03-02 15:54:38 UTC
    2040
  32. One Step Forward, Dubsteps back 2015-03-31 16:58:59 UTC
    2550
  33. 'Round the Corner, 'Round the Bend 2015-04-29 18:47:15 UTC
    1893
  34. The Celebratory Event Involving the Colour Red 2015-05-27 18:41:09 UTC
    2409
  35. It's My Party, I Can Cry if I Want to. 2015-06-06 13:51:08 UTC
    1643
  36. I Got the Slap, You Got the Slap... 2015-06-20 20:26:21 UTC
    1844
  37. Hooters and Hard Times 2015-06-28 05:54:56 UTC
    2596
  38. Yar Har, Fiddily Dee 2015-07-01 15:21:18 UTC
    1543
  39. Morpheus? Damn-Near Killed Us! 2015-07-19 11:59:13 UTC
    2686
  40. Answers With Asterisks 2015-08-01 03:18:19 UTC
    1640
  41. I'm Gonna Pop Some Nags 2015-08-17 23:32:32 UTC
    2746
  42. Average Rap Battles of Misery! 2015-09-17 01:07:51 UTC
    3957
  43. Better Than Drinking Alone. 2015-12-16 04:26:06 UTC
    5590
  44. The Epilogue Called That Night's Dream 2016-01-09 06:04:45 UTC
    2861