The one where Celestia is a gangster
Disclaimer: The Story you are About to Read is Canon
There was nothing
nothing at all
Twilight fucked up
the universe was over.
Twilight Sparkle slowly opened her eyes, she had a headache stronger than one thousand suns, and then it stopped for some reason.
She shouldn't exist.
Nothing should exist.
And nothing did exist.
There was nothing.
Absolutely nothing around the unicorn.
Who do these deep thoughts belong to?
are they the narrator's?
Or Twilight's?
Who cares, I don't, back to the story.
So Twiliht Spakle was probably dead or something, she knew that, I knew that, you know that now, words.
"What the balls is going on right now?" Twilight said.
She was pretty confused right now as you can probably tell.
"Shut up whoever the fuck is narrating!" Twilight the bitch said.
"What the fuck how the fuck can you hear me oh shit fuck!" Narrator 1 said.
I'm the new narrator, he just got promoted to a mental support for a crazy character character.
"I have no idea why I can hear you, but why the fuck is there a narrator in the first place?" Twilight sed.
"I have no idea too, OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK I'M TURNING INTO SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK OH GOD THIS IS SO PAINFUL." Narrator 1 said.
Something was up, something was appearing in front of Twilight, at first it looked bipedal in shape, but it quickly started morphing into something else in a painful looking way, it looked more pony-like now, but it still didn't have any distinguishable features, suddenly it started growing a white coat and flowy rainbow colored mane and tail that started emitting some kind of weird Music, a massive long hard diamond encrusted horn came out of it's head and it grew massive white wings with gold platings, the pony also grew to the size of princess Celestia herself.
A golden necklace with the words "pimpin' gangsta" on it appeared, and the mysterious alicorn's horn started glowing as a golden aura encompassed it, as well as the necklace as the necklace moved over the alicorn's horn, as the necklace rested around the alicon's neck.
Finally a cutie mark of a sun with stylin' shades on it appeared on it's bountiful booty.
"Sup." Gangster Celestia said.
"I be here ta advizzle whateverz left of tha deal up in a stylin' manner ya hear"
"Alright, sounds cool I guess." Twilight said.
"What do I have to do?" she said.
"So you gotta eat some hype cereal that'll bring the universe back or something." Celestia said.
"Okay, where do I go to find that?" Twilight replied.
"Straight ahead dawg, you just gotta do a trial or two or something, ya know? Celestia responded.
So that's what they did, went forward I mean, just walking and walking, with nothing in sight, until...
"A door?" Twilight asked?
Yes indeed, there was a door in front of them, nothing special about it or anything.
"Yeah Twi-Dog looks like a door, let's see what's inside."
Twilight's horn started glowing, her aura gripped the handle and pulled the door open, inside was...
A small room, with a lit fireplace a chair, and a small table, and sitting in that chair was...
Discord, just sippin' on some tea.
"Well hello there, good to see you two didn't get lost." Discord said.
"Hey MC-Disc what up." Celestia replied.
"You know I don't do that sort of thing anymore Celestia." Discord replied.
"Anyway, if you want to move forward you have to solve a few riddles and stuff." he said.
"Alright, let's do this then, this'll be easy." Twilight said.
"You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?"
Discord asked.
Twilight knew this one.
"An ear of corn." Twilight replied.
"Correct! I also would have accepted A chicken." Discord said.
"Gross, next please." Twilight said.
"Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?" Discord asked.
Too easy.
"That one's easy, a fire." Twilight answered.
"Alright, last one, this will be a tough one." Discord said.
"Let's go." Twilight said.
"From the beginning of eternity
To the end of time and space
To the beginning of every end
And the end of every place.
What am I?"
Huh?
"w-what? uhh..." Twilight didn't know this one...
"I'll give you three tries" Discord said.
"Immortal?" Twilight said.
"No, try again." Discord said.
"U-uhh, Everything?" She hoped.
"Nope." Discord said.
Twilight was running this through her head a million times, and she still had no clue.
"Oooh oooh, I know this one, can I say?" Celestia asked.
"No sorry." Discord said.
What is this? What is this? WHAT IS THIS?! NO WAIT I GOT IT!
"THE LETTER E!" Twilight shouted.
He's just staring.
Did I get it wrong?
He's smiling.
No, I got it right.
I had to have.
"CORRECT!" Discord yelled.
"YES!" Twilight screamed.
"Just take the door you used to get here to get to the Universe reboot cereal."
"Alright!" Twilight and Celestia said.
Twilight and Celestia opened the door they took, and there it was...
A pedestal in the middle of a white room with a massive bowl on it, and a huge spoon inside, a box of 'Universi-os' next to it, as well as a fridge beside the pedestal.
Twilight walked over to the pedestal and used her magic to open the box of cereal, she opened the bag that kept the cereal fresh and poured all of the contents into the bowl, she opened the fridge and took out a carton of milk, she opened it and poured it into the bowl as well, just seeing all this delicious cereal made her moist, and then she took a bite.
It was amazing she ate more, and more, and more, until the last bite, she put it in her mouth and... sweet release, as she came out magical universe juices everywhere, and then...
Everything was back.
Shahee dhid iht.
She was standing in her tree-brary, it was 10:01.
"So what do you want to do know?" Gangster Celestia asked.
"I dunno, wanna play some Persona 4 Arena?" Twilight replied.
"Fuck yeah, that shit's the best! Ganglestia said.
And so they lived happily ever after, and played lots of Persona 4 Arena.
THE END
[size=1]for nowwwwww, Cereal 3: Revengening coming whenever it's done.[/size]
The one where everyone is a gangster
There was nothing
nothang at all
Twilight fucked up
the universe was over.
Twilight Sparkle slowly opened her eyes, dat freaky freaky biatch had a headache stronger than one thousand suns, n' then it stopped fo' some reason.
Bitch shouldn't exist.
Nothang should exist.
And not a god damn thang did exist.
There was nothing.
Absolutely not a god damn thang round tha unicorn.
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck do these deep thoughts belong to?
are they tha narrator's?
Or Twilight's?
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck cares, I don't, back ta tha story.
So Twiliht Spakle was probably dead or something, she knew that, I knew that, you know dat now, lyrics.
"What tha balls is goin on right now?" Twilight holla'd.
Bitch was pretty trippin right now as you can probably tell.
"Shut up whoever tha fuck is narrating!" Twilight tha biiiatch holla'd.
"What tha fuck how tha fuck tha fuck can you hear me oh shiznit fuck!" Narrator 1 holla'd.
I be tha freshly smoked up narrator, he just gots promoted ta a menstrual support fo' a wild-ass character character.
"I have no clue why I can hear you yo, but why tha fuck is there a narrator up in tha straight-up original gangsta place?" Twilight sed.
"I have no clue too, OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK I'M TURNING INTO SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK OH GOD THIS IS SO PAINFUL." Narrator 1 holla'd.
Somethang was up, suttin' was appearin up in front of Twilight, at first it looked bipedal up in shape yo, but it quickly started morphin tha fuck into suttin' else up in a fucked up lookin way, it looked mo' pony-like now yo, but it still didn't have any distinguishable features, suddenly it started growin a white coat n' flowy rainbow colored mane n' tail dat started emittin some kind of weird Music, a massive long hard diamond encrusted horn came outta itz head n' it grew massive white wings wit gold platings, tha pony also grew ta tha size of bizzatch Celestia her muthafuckin ass.
A golden phat gold rope wit tha lyrics "pimpin' gangsta" on it rocked up, n' tha mysterious alicornz horn started glowin as a golden aura encompassed it, as well as tha phat gold rope as tha phat gold rope moved over tha alicornz horn, as tha phat gold rope rested round tha aliconz neck.
Finally a cold-ass lil cutie mark of a sun wit stylin' shades on it rocked up on itz bountiful booty.
"Sup." Gangsta Celestia holla'd.
"I be here ta advizzle whateverz left of tha deal up in a stylin' manner ya hear"
"Alright, soundz def I guess." Twilight holla'd.
"What do I gotta do?" her big-ass booty holla'd.
"So you gotta smoke some hype cereal that'll brang tha universe back or something." Celestia holla'd.
"Okay, where do I git all up in find that?" Twilight replied.
"Straight ahead dawg, you just gotta do a trial or two or something, ya know, biatch? Celestia responded.
So thatz what tha fuck they did, went forward I mean, just struttin n' strutting, wit not a god damn thang up in sight, until...
"A door?" Twilight asked?
Yes yes y'all, indeed, there was a thugged-out door up in front of them, not a god damn thang special bout it or anything.
"Yeah Twi-Dawg be lookin like a thugged-out door, letz peep whatz inside."
Twilightz horn started glowing, her aura gripped tha handle n' pulled tha door open, inside was...
A lil' small-ass room, wit a lit fireplace a cold-ass lil chair, n' a lil' small-ass table, n' chillin up in dat chair was...
Discord, just sippin' on some tea.
"Well wassup there, phat ta peep you two didn't git lost." Discord holla'd.
"Yo MC-Disc what tha fuck up." Celestia replied.
"Yo ass know I don't do dat sort of thang no mo' Celestia." Discord replied.
"Anyway, if you wanna move forward you gotta solve all dem riddlez n' stuff." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.
"Alright, letz do dis then, this'll be easy as fuck ." Twilight holla'd.
"Yo ass throw away tha outside n' cook tha inside. Then you smoke tha outside n' throw away tha inside. What did you eat?"
Discord asked.
Twilight knew dis one.
"An ear of corn." Twilight replied.
"Correct son! I also would have accepted A chicken." Discord holla'd.
"Gross, next please." Twilight holla'd.
"Give me chicken, n' I'ma live; give me water, n' I'ma take a thugged-out dirt nap. What be I?" Discord asked.
Too easy as fuck .
"That onez easy as fuck , a gangbangin' fire." Twilight answered.
"Alright, last one, dis is ghon be a tough one." Discord holla'd.
"Letz go." Twilight holla'd.
"From tha beginnin of eternity
To tha end of time n' space
To tha beginnin of every last muthafuckin end
And tha end of every last muthafuckin place.
What be I?"
Huh?
"w-what, biatch? uhh..." Twilight didn't give a fuck dis one...
"I be bout ta hit you wit three tries" Discord holla'd.
"Immortal?" Twilight holla'd.
"Fuck dat shit, try again." Discord holla'd.
"U-uhh, Everything?" Biatch hoped.
"Nope." Discord holla'd.
Twilight was hustlin dis all up in her head a mazillion times, n' her big-ass booty still had no clue.
"Oooh oooh, I know dis one, can I say?" Celestia asked.
"No sorry." Discord holla'd.
What tha fuck iz this, biatch? What tha fuck iz this, biatch? WHAT IS THIS?! NO WAIT I GOT IT!
"THE LETTER E!" Twilight shouted.
Dat punk just staring.
Did I git it wrong?
Dat punk smiling.
Fuck dat shit, I gots it right.
I had ta have.
"CORRECT!" Discord yelled.
"YES!" Twilight screamed.
"Just take tha door you used ta git here ta git ta tha Universe reboot cereal."
"Alright!" Twilight n' Celestia holla'd.
Twilight n' Celestia opened tha door they took, n' there it was...
A pedestal up in tha middle of a white room wit a massive bowl on it, n' a big-ass spoon inside, a funky-ass box of 'Universi-os' next ta it, as well as a gangbangin' fridge beside tha pedestal.
Twilight strutted over ta tha pedestal n' used her magic ta open tha box of cereal, she opened tha bag dat kept tha cereal fresh n' poured all of tha contents tha fuck into tha bowl, she opened tha fridge n' took up a cold-ass lil carton of milk, she opened it n' poured it tha fuck into tha bowl as well, just seein all dis delicious cereal made her moist, n' then dat dunkadelic hoe took a funky-ass bite.
Dat shiznit was dunkadelic she ate more, n' more, n' more, until tha last bite, she put it up in her grill and... dope release, as dat thugged-out biiiatch came up magical universe juices everywhere, n' then...
Everythang was back.
Shahee dhid iht.
Bitch was standin up in her tree-brary, dat shiznit was 10:01.
"So what tha fuck do you wanna do know?" Gangsta Celestia asked.
"I dunno, wanna play some Persona 4 Arena?" Twilight replied.
"Fuck yeah, dat shitz tha dopest son! Ganglestia holla'd.
And so they lived happily eva after, n' played fuckin shitloadz of Persona 4 Arena.
THE END
[size=1]for nowwwwww, Cereal 3: Revengenin comin whenever itz done.[/size]
