Chapters Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s Jon Stewart was raised in the middle of generation that saw a new uprising backed by wave of drugs and stimulants. And while he himself wasn’t the biggest supporter of such narcotics, he understood how they worked. A feeling of unstoppable high followed by a crashing low point that made the user want more. This is exactly how he felt when he returned to his world from Equestria.
Jon wasn’t a stranger to the land of ponies. He had been to their cities and towns on numerous occasions, but this was different. Shortly after the initial thrill of interviewing Luna at the Canterlot music hall, Jon was then deemed fit enough to go back home, (though he suspected they only let him leave because he causing too much trouble in the castle) and only then did reality start to set in once again.
He was now back in New York at the Daily Show Headquarters at a very early hour where he was trying, and failing, to get some work done. When he first arrived, he was greeted by his employees gawking at him and wanting to say something, but to no avail since he immediately made a beeline to his private office, not to get things started ahead of schedule, but because he found it difficult to face his loved ones back home.
Upon his arrival back, he was burdened with the uncomfortable task of having to tactfully explain to his family that Trixie won’t be coming back for a little bit. To his kids, he explained that she was hurt and that she was to rest in the hospital, but to his wife he admitted that the scenario of her never coming back was a possibility.
It for this reason that Jon didn’t tell his family that he himself almost met with a similar fate, he didn’t want to add to their worries. He tried to distract himself with the day to day office work that, at first, seemed so far away, but he found it almost impossible to focus when all he could think about was his friend still detained in Canterlot Castle.
His body had healed almost completely (though he still felt sore) from his ordeal, but the emotional scars were still present with no signs of ever going away. If he had his way, he’d stay at Trixie’s bedside until she woke up again, but he couldn’t stay away from his responsibilities back home either.
Trixie wasn’t the only thing Jon left behind in Canterlot. The special “Princess edition” of the show featuring Luna was such a smash hit that the team decided to leave the set (which was a portable replica of the actual one) at Canterlot Concert hall so that Celestia to add it to their hall of fame. However all she wanted was the backdrop and the large desk so every now and again she would teleport some of the lighting fixtures or audio equipment to Jon’s house or office.
The prospect of having massive luggages filled with heavy, and expensive, equipment teleported to his home and workplace at all hours of the day was not what Jon found most bothersome... it was the endless chain of sympathy cards that annoyed him.
A few months back, Jon had set an arrangement with Spike the dragon that any and all letters addressed to Jon, usually fan mail, would go to him whereupon he’d use his special ability to send it to Jon. But nowadays his services were being put to a different use. Along with his equipment, Jon had also been receiving a steady stream of Hallmark-esque greeting cards from ponies all over Equestria. Each of which were usually from fans wishing him the best of luck after his encounter and the hopes that he would feel better.
He read a few of them at first, and yeah, Jon thought their concern for what happened was touching, but when he was getting hundreds by the hour, his appreciation turned to detest. On the whole, he was thankful for their prayers and understood their compulsion to want to wish him well, he was quickly getting sick of ponies reminding him of something he was trying to forget and move on from.
It was for this reason that he issues a request to Spike that he stop sending him any and all letters from Equestria, at least for the time being. His orders were that if anyone sent him a letter he was to hold onto it until further notice. Spike was quickly starting to run out of places to store them all.
He just wanted to forget what happened to him... which proved to be impossible, even now. Only a small handful of interns and employees were present and, at this hour, even less were actually working; least of all was Jon himself who took to staying in his office and requested he not be disturbed. There he sat in his chair idly passing the time by doing nothing.
This was the first time he was back at the office since the attack and he still found it difficult to think about anything else. The fresh pile of paperwork that needed his attention did very little to distract him from the fact that the last time he was sitting in his chair, behind his desk, and in this room he did so while being threatened by a monster.
The most cringe worthy reminder of his ordeal was when he looked upwards at his ceiling only to see the stain from where Queen Chrysalis had encases his assistant in a cocoon. To try and forget, Jon bolted from his seat so fast it fell backwards, crashing to the ground. He slowly began to walk in circles around his office occasionally catching glimpses of himself in the reflection of the awards he had on his walls.
It seemed like, no matter what, Jon couldn’t think about anything other than what he’d been through. For all his joking about, what happened, and his claims that he was fine, deep down he was consumed by it, and while he didn’t want to admit it, was obsessed with what happened. What he wanted was for things to go back to the way things were before, but he knew that was impossible. What he desired was his friend back, what he wanted was to forget this ever happened, what he wanted was... something to distract him. Which he got in the form of a bright green flame.
Jon’s pathetic jog around his office had lead him to the opposite side of the room near the door when he heard, felt, and indeed smelled, the incoming delivery. At the corner of his eyes, Jon caught the arrival of something falling on his desk. Since it arrived by the medium of dragon fire he knew it was from Spike which confused him since he asked him to stop sending him letters. What surprised even more however was that instead of the usual avalanche of “Get well soon” cards he had received a single lone letter.
This was just enough of a mystery to get Jon to investigate, rather than just throwing it away like expired food. Tentatively, he walked across the room to his desk like he was approaching a bomb. Eventually, he made it back to his chair when he loomed over the letter, he was surprised to see what was written on it.
The letter itself was very elegant looking and seemed to be made of expensive stationary. The envelope was royal blue with golden edges which contrasted nicely with the sloppy handwritting on the front of it which read: “From Octavia and Vinyl Scratch.”
“Hmmm.” Jon mumbled as he picked up the letter. “This should be very interesting.”
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
With feet on a large briefcase that Celestia sent to him and back arched to it’s limit, Jon was not comfortably sitting in his chair while simultaneously fanning himself with his newly delivered letter. For this was a very interesting predicament. He had long since lost count of how many times he’d gotten letters from ponies from Equestria, but it wasn’t everyday that he got a telegram from someone who had already been on his show... except of course for Rainbow Dash; she couldn't wait to get another interview.
Though Jon very much doubted that either Octavia or her mate Vinyl Scratch were wanting to come back to New York any time soon. From what he understood their schedules were hectic as it is. For all Jon knew, this was just them wishing him the best of luck during hard times like all the rest, but if that were the case, why did Spike send the letter to him when he specifically told him not to?
Whatever the reason, it seemed that it was important enough for Spike to deliberately disobey him. When Jon was through thinking about every possible explanation he decided to take the next logical step by carefully opening the letter and taking out a few pieces of paper. Jon was no detective but still, even though it said “From Octavia and Vinyl Scratch” he could tell just by the language who had written it.
HEY HEY HEY JOHNNY-BOY! WHAT IS UP!?
Listen, I heard about what happened to ya in your own place... Man that sucks! I’m writing because BAM I got something that’ll sure to cheer you up! As it just so happens I know a pony who would be perfect for your show! Spike here tells me you don’t like people suggesting guests for your show and blah blah blah what does he know, right?
But anyway you know how me and Octy went to music school together? Sure ya do! Well when we were upperclass-mares there was this one kid in the same department as me who was transferred to our school. We made friends with him after he helped me defend Octy from some bullies, and you know me... anypony who helps my baby is a friend of mine!
His name is DJ Pygmalion so yeah we had a lot in common since we were both knew how to work the turntables. He’s pretty good but he ain’t as good as me... obviously. Well wouldn't you know this hoof-head doesn’t say “what’s up” since like forever and aaaaaall of a sudden he appears on our pad asking for favors! Yeah you bet I gave him a good punch in arm and a noogie for old times sake!
He looks good for someone his age... I mean we’re still pretty young, but dang he looks like he hasn’t aged since I last saw him. If I wasn’t already taken I might’ve considered asking him out. I mean don’t get me wrong I love Octy to death, but I’ve never done it with a Unicorn before... I've always wanted to know what a horn would feel like on me for a change.
What was I talking about? OH RIGHT , Pygmalion. So anyways this dude is practically on his knees begging me and Octy to ask if you can have him on your show. You don’t know him like we do so trust me when I say this is frickin’ weird! Back in the dorms he never asked for a single favor... which is kinda also why I liked him... but yeah he wouldn’t leave till we agreed to ask ya.
But you know what?... He’s a good friend and I say why not! He did help me out a few times back in the day like this time me and Octy were out past curfew and he managed to convince the dean that I was in my room the entire time... don’t know how he even managed to pull that off since he inspected our rooms. So whad’ya say Johnny my man... could you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase have him on your show... or else ... nah I’m just joking!... but seriously or else!
“Is this girl serious?” Jon thought to himself. As much as he liked Vinyl as a friend, he found it rather insulting that she would even ask him for a favor regarding the show after all that had happened to him. He would have tossed the note away or disposed it in a similar fashion as it was delivered but underneath it was another section of writing.
PS: Let me just start by saying that I apologize for Vinyl’s uncouth behavior and unsympathetic disposition, it’s just the way she is. Also my condolences to you... I can’t imagine what you must be going through.
Now then what my lovely companion said... for the most part is true. Our dear friend Pygmalion did arrive at our doorstep asking for assistance. He expressed great interest in being on our show with a level of vigor I’ve never seen before... I dare say I’ve never seen him act like this.
Now obviously you are not required nor expected to do us any kind of favor, and I feel that you would be well within your right to ignore our request. Having said that, I did promise Pygmalion that I would at least attempt to convince you so for now just here me out.
From a purely practical point of view I am given to believe that with Trixie’s interview being aired you are in need of a pony to act as a backup in case of emergencies. I’m sure you’ve undoubtedly figured out where I’m going with this. If you agree to interview Pygmalion you’d have some security in case of well... in case something like this happens again.
I won’t push the subject anymore than what has been said so I’ll end this by saying if you did do this for us we would be in your debt. And you could certainly do worse than Pygmalion.
Hope you feel better soon.
-Octavia
PPS: Sorry I sent this letter! Vinyl got me in an arm lock and wouldn’t let go till I agreed to do it!
-Spike
PPPPPPPPPS: Spike is a dirty liar! Also, or else.
-DJ Pon3
Even when they were separated by an entire realm of existence, Vinyl still found a way to give Jon a headache. Though he had to admit that her better half did have a good point. With his one and only backup log of a pony interview having been used recently, Jon was in the market for another emergency fallback tapping in case of emergency.
The problem he always had with this system was having someone not interesting enough to air live, but just interesting enough to save for later. Since this DJ Pygmalion was a virtual unknown to Jon meant he was the perfect contender for this project.
At first Jon didn’t like the idea of replacing what was once Trixie’s old spot as “backup pony”, but emotions aside, Jon still has a show to run. And the musical couple weren’t the only ones pushing Jon with this idea... his bosses from upstairs had a similar idea in mind ever since the incident. Jon still didn’t like the idea of having people trying to do his job for him, but at this point in time, he really didn’t care.
“Why not.” Jon sighed as he reached for his phone. “What’s the worse that can happen.”
A few button presses later the phone connected with his business partner from across worlds. He wasn’t expected to call Celestia today so she was just as surprised to hear from him as he was to be calling her.
“Why hello Jon!” She said immediately only to recoil her voice as if doing so was disrespectful. “I... I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today... How are you feeling?”
“Just fine.” He muttered as he rubbed his hand over his face. “Just... fine. Listen I need to talk to you about something.”
“Is it about the set I requested?” She asked “Because if you want it back after all, I can send it to you along with the equipment.”
“No, no, no it’s not that.” Jon assured her. “It’s actually about my show right now... I need you to send someone to me to be interviewed.”
“Goodness... so soon?” She said. “I thought for sure you’d stagger this out... but then again it is your show. So... who is the lucky pony?”
Before answering Jon picked up the note he has previously read to look back at the name of the mysterious new DJ who’s name he had already forgotten.
“Have you ever heard of... DJ Pygmalion” He asked.
“I... can’t say I have.” She answered.
“Me neither.” Jon admitted. “That’s why I want him on my show.”
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
“Sure is taking his sweet time.” Jon thought as he took another mint from his coat pocket and threw it up in the air to catch in his mouth.
The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of having this seemingly unknown artist on his show for an off the air tapping. Having a backup interview for emergencies had proven effective time and time again.
Even now since Jon had spent the majority of the weekend in Equestria, he didn’t have time to schedule an appearance for his show later on tonight. So while he did some preparatory work behind the scenes, like finding out who would come on the show for the following episodes, the audience would just watch a pre-recorded interview of him talking with a local writer... or so he thought.
If there was one thing that annoyed Jon the most upon his return was the non stop pampering from his colleagues and friends. When they heard about his brief run in with Chrysalis, they did their best to be as inoffensive and gentle as possible, Jon hated it. If he had a nickle for every time someone said the phrase “are you alright”, he wouldn’t need Celestia to give back the equipment he left behind, he could just buy new ones.
He would tell them that he was fine and that they had nothing to worry about, but in truth, he was still shaken up from the ordeal. Being attacked by a magic user was scary enough, but to go head to head with one that could change it’s appearance was a whole new layer of unsettling.
To this, Celestia did her part in trying to make Jon feel better. Firstly by assuring him that no one from Equestria was in his world and that, from here on out, anyone who wanted to go New York for an interview would have to do so through her (or with her permission) whereupon she’d do a thorough background check to make sure they were who they say they were.
This and all pity-brigade by his employees were par for the course for something like this so he could at least understand where they were coming from. So between the time he called Celestia to the time his guest arrived Jon tried to distract himself by filling out some paperwork and making some phone calls. And again was asked to not be disturbed by anyone for anything... but, there was one exception.
Knock knock knock
Jon looked up from his desk as he heard someone lightly banging on the door to his office. The way the person did it was slow in rhythm, but loud enough that Jon could hear it. He recognized it all too well.
“Come in Selina.” Jon announced. Carefully, the door opened making a loud creaking noise. Jon took this moment to get up from his seat and around his desk to the front where he would lean against it.
The door fully opened and, in the background, was intern after intern poking their heads to see the sight that was Selina walking in and being followed by an unfamiliar creature. For some at the office, the sight of a pony coming to see Jon before the show was now a regular occurrence, but it never lost it’s brevity as a spectacle.
The pony in question was a unicorn stallion of average height and length. His coat was a sickly grey color and his mane was a dark rusty orange hue. The most noticeable feature about him was a pair of large black headphones around his neck with the left and right earpieces a bright shade of yellow. Based on how messy his mane was (especially when compared with his tail) Jon could tell that his line of work must have him sliding it on and off constantly. This was proof enough for Jon that, yes he was a DJ and therefore the pony he had requested to see.
“Hello and welcome to “Daily Show Headquarters!” Jon announced as he walked up to his guest and shook his hoof. “And you must be DJ Pygmalion.”
Jon’s only previous interaction with a Disk Jockey from Equestria was when he interviewed Vinyl Scratch, and ever since then he’d had a preconceived notion on how they acted: Loud, obnoxious, and crude. This guy had shattered that idea good and proper.
Based on the letter provided by Octavia and Vinyl Jon had painted a picture in his mind of a hot blooded young up and comer who would do whatever it took to get to the top and cement his status as musician. Even if it meant going to an entire other world to do it.
In reality though, Pygmalion looked and acted more like a domesticated animal being let out into the wild for the very first time. He wouldn’t walk into the office until Selina gestured him in, and even then, he did so very hesitantly, like a child going to the dentist. Eventually, he awkwardly made eye contact with Jon who repeated his greeting when he got no response.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Jon said.
“Uh... yeah, you too.” Pygmalion said with a face like he did something wrong, his voice low and innocent.
“You too?” Jon repeated with a raised eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“W-what?” Pygmalion asked.
“Well in my experience this is usually the part where the person starts jumping up and down and saying, ‘Oh thank you so much for inviting me on your show.’” He explained.
“O-oh I’m sorry!” He blurted as he ran up to Jon like he was holding a treat. “T-thank you so much for inviting me on your show!”
Jon wasn’t sure if he deliberately repeated Jon’s example word for word or if he was being serious. Either way, he laughed a most hearty laugh got down on one knee to address him.
“Look, you’re nervous, I get it.” Jon said. “Don’t be... going on TV isn’t as difficult as you may think... after all, they gave me my own show.”
The joke went over well with Pygmalion who was now giggling like a schoolgirl, but the way his tail was tucked under his legs and his head was slightly lowered also gave the impression he was in trouble by the homeroom teacher. Thinking that maybe it was because he was surrounded by strange giant of a different species, Jon got back up to address his assistant.
“Selina, would you excuse us for a bit?” He asked as he pointed downwards. “I think our guest would be more comfortable if it was just us guys... Could you please head over to stage guys? They could use some help.”
“Of course.” Selina said as she exited the room. “If you need anything, just call me.” When the door closed, Jon thought for sure that this would make his new friend less tense, but in practice, it seemed to have made him even more nervous.
“Now then let’s get down to business... I’m sure Celestia has already informed you on what will happen here today.” Jon said, hoping that getting all the technical stuff out of the way would help. “Later on today, we will go on stage and do a quick interview off the air. The interview will be taped and stored in the archives in case we ever need to use it for the future. Comedy Central holds the right to air this interview whenever it sees fit and makes no guarantee that it will air at a set date and blah blah blah... basically what I’m saying is, our interview today will be an ace in the hole in case something happens... so... any questions?”
For a second, it looked like Pygmalion was going to say something, but instead he rubbed the back of his head and avoided eye contact. Jon waited patiently for him to say something, which he did after an uncomfortable amount of time had passed.
“No.” He answered “I mean... I understand.”
“Still nervous?” Jon asked, immediately getting a nod of the head in return. “Understandable, but you know what... I’ll give you the same advice I give everyone, human or pony, who comes to this show... just be yourself.”
“But that’s just the thing.” Pygmalion responded. “I’m afraid that if I do... you won’t like it.”
At this point, any kind of personality other than his timid orphan routine would be a welcome change for Jon’s taste.
“Nonsense. I invited you here for a reason.” Jon said. “And that reason is to show the world what you’re really made of... so please don’t hold back on me now, kid.”
“I... I know it’s just.” Pygmalion muttered. “Okay... if I... if I ‘be myself’,will you promise you won’t freak out?” He now had Jon’s attention. He knew these musician types could have a wild side, but he never had one give him a disclaimer.
“Interesting... ” Jon thought out loud as he caressed his chin. “... Alright, deal... I won’t freak out.” The way Jon made his promise gave Pygmalion a sense that he was telling the truth. He looked to have lightened up a bit as he looked him in the eyes.
“In that case... I think you should sit down.” Pygmalion advised.
“Why?” Jon asked now more interested.
“Because you might be surprised.” Pygmalion answered.
“Young man... I’ve been living on this Earth for over 50 years.” Jon laughed. “And in that time, I’ve experienced things you could not even imagine... and most recently, I’ve had to endure traveling between worlds with a dangerous demon in order to save my planet and subsequently the entire world... nothing at this point could surprise me.”
Another lengthy and awkward silence followed with Pygmalion looking down at his hooves then back at Jon.
“Still... I think you should sit down.” He said. “In case you are surprised by my... real self.”
“Whatever you say Bruce Banner.” Jon joked as he rounded his desk and sat in his chair. “There we go... happy?”
“Now remember... you promised you won’t freak out.” Pygmalion reminded.
“I promise.” Jon assured him as he held up his hand in a boyscout sign.
“Okay... here we go.” Pygmalion said as he stood straight and arched his head back. Thinking that he might use some kind of magic, Jon paid special attention to his horn which he had now thrusted into the air. While doing this, he failed to notice that Pygmalion was slowly taking in a very deep breath.
His chest expanding as air filled his lungs eventually stopped as he was now holding it all in. For a split second, a green burst of light found it’s way onto the crown of his head. Jon didn’t think strange of it at first since he was a Unicorn and undoubtedly knew a spell or two. It was only when the light quickly shot downwards did he think something was amiss.
In split second, the green light made its way down to his hooves altering the appearance of Pygmalion’s body in the process. At first Jon thought that this was some kind of trick, but when his mind had finally caught up with what happened, his mouth dropped and he lost all feelings in his legs.
Before his eyes, the once timid and frightened looking Pygmalion shape shifted himself into a new creature. One with a black body covered in holes and fangs that shined in the florescent lights of his office.
“No” Jon thought to himself. “Not again.”
Jon was now once again face to face with a Changeling.
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
An eerie sense of Deja Vu sat heavily on Jon Stewart as he looked into the eyes of the monster before him. As far as he was concerned, he never wanted to see another Changeling for as long as he lived, and yet, it hadn’t even been a week since Queen Chrysalis attacked him in his own office, but here he was was alone in the same room with one her children.
Then once innocent and soft spoken Pygmalion had changed appearance into a Changeling drone, complete with insect wings, fangs, and shell shaded bug eyes. His body was coal black with his legs riddled with holes. In addition, his mane and tail were the same color of dark bluish grey and his eyes, which held no pupils, were the same shade of yellow as his headphones which were still wrapped around his neck.
He may of have been a lot smaller and less intimidating looking than his Queen counterpart, but the fear of being alone with one of these things was enough to paralyze Jon in his seat. His breathing became more rapid and he began to shake a bit.
Jon had unintentionally lied when he said “Nothing could surprise him anymore.” From where he was sitting, Jon was so startled by this sudden transformation that he forgot how to speak and had lost all the feelings in his arms and legs. About the only thing he did feel was a penetrating sensation as if someone had taken a long, white, hot metal rod and jammed it through his chest. It was the same feeling as when Chrysalis first threatened to harm his family.
Unbeknownst to the monster that was now looking at him, Jon was about to lie about something else he had said. Focusing all his strength in his right arm, Jon began to reach for something under his desk.
“Now, Mr. Stewart.” The Changeling said as he motioned with his hoof for him to calm down. “I know this may seem very unreal to you, but please believe when I say I mean you no harm... I only wish to talk to you about--”
With enough force to bust through a window, Jon threw an object to his left where it exploded after hitting against the wall, knocking over an award that was on display. The sound of it shattering into dozens of pieces caused the Changeling to jump back in shock. The real intention of this seemingly random display of recklessness was to actually get him to look away from Jon long enough for him to react. Which it did.
When the bewildered Changeling drone looked back at where Jon was sitting he was surprised yet again to see that he had already bolted over his desk and was already a couple feet away. In addition to fear, there was another leftover emotion in Jon’s heart from when Chrysalis invaded. Pure anger.
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” The Changeling begged. “DON’T DO IT! I ALREADY SAID I’M--”
Before he could finish begging, Jon landed a punch so quickly, and with such force, that he tumbled to the ground from throwing himself off balance along with his target. Jon landed on his back but the changeling damn near flew across the room where he bounced off the side of a file cabinet.
It took him a few seconds to stagger back to his feet, whereupon Jon was already running towards him with a crazed look in his eye.
“Wait! The changeling exclaimed. “Please stop! I just want--” His vision blurred as Jon dealt a swift kick to his ribcage with such force that he once again was hurled across the room, landing headfirst against the side of the wall.
“YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AGAIN!” He roared as he picked up the Changeling’s body high above his head, only to slam him back to the ground as hard as he could.
“Mr... Stewart... please,” He said between fits of pain. “I’m not... here... to hurt you.”
“BULLSHIT!” Jon roared.
In blind fury, Jon took a step back and swung his leg forward, kicking him in the stomach so hard that he almost sprained his own ankle.
“Get up!” Jon yelled at his fallen adversary. When he didn’t move or say anything, except for coughing and gasping for breath, Jon very angrily kicked him in the stomach again. “I said, get up!”
Again the downed Changeling didn’t move so to “help” him, Jon bent over and grabbed him by his neck and, with very little effort, slammed him against the wall again. With him now pinned to the wall by his neck, the Changeling was now looking into Jon’s eyes. Eyes so filled with hate that they didn’t notice how defeated the injured creature was.
“Please... just listen.” He pleaded as he flailed to break free. His struggling and begging came to a halt when Jon increased the pressure on his neck, restricting so much air from his lungs that he started to fade a bit.
“When you see your boss back in Equestria... ” Jon said as he clenched his other hand into a fist right in front of him so he could see. “Tell her that this... this right here... THIS IS FOR TRIXIE! ”
As if uttering his friends name was the magic word, Jon now found himself frozen in place, unable to move. He had channeled so much of his energy into one last final blow that, had the changeling not been there, he very well could have punched a hole through the wall, but the battered changeling was there, and as a result, Jon was unable to move.
The same sense of Deja Vu was once again overpowering Jon for, as hard as he tried, he couldn't will himself to go through with this last attack, and like before, the reason why was magic. Since only certain Changelings could use magic (like the queen), the only use for the horns on a Changeling’s head was to change their appearance. Which is why Jon couldn't move.
Within a split second, Jon was no longer holding up the yellow eyed Changeling, but instead his dear friend, and family member, Trixie. Jon knew all too well that the pony he was throttling wasn’t really Trixie, but rather the one claiming to be Pygmalion disguised as her. Jon knew this, but even still... seeing his friend again, even like this, was enough to flumix him.
The Changeling had replicated the appearance of the blue magician perfectly to the point where he momentarily fooled Jon, even though he saw him transform. This new appearance was complete with Trixie’s correct color scheme, hairstyle, and even her cape and hat. The only part that could be considered inaccurate was the bruises on her face and the speck of blood in the corner of her mouth.
“This... this isn’t Trixie.” Jon thought to himself as held back tears of pain. “It... it can’t be.” Half of him wanted to let go while the other side wanted to finish what he had started. Even though his brain assured him that this was all a trick, his body just couldn't go through with it... he couldn't hurt his friend, even if it was just a representation.
Jon had heard of "out of body experiences" before, but never did he experience one until right now. He could swear he saw himself pinning a battered and beaten Trixie up against the wall with gritted teeth and clenched fist... it was a sight that sickened him. The combination of seeing his friend again and knowing it was because of him that she looked like that made tears fall down Jon’s face. He didn’t know what to do.
“Jon.” The disguised Changeling said. “Please stop.” It was her voice; Jon could take it no longer.
With a yelp, Jon let go of his defeated enemy and recoiled his hand to his chest as if he was just bitten by a beast. The injured intruder fell to the ground where he used what little strength he had left to climb to his feet. For a full minute the two said nothing to each other but instead focused on collecting themselves. The Changeling with breathing and tending to his injuries, and Jon with trying to pull himself back together after the initial shock, which destroyed the bedrock of his mental stability. After an appropriate amount of time passed, Jon slowly lifted his arm to point at his once victim.
“How dare you.” He said, his expression still in a frozen state of horror. “Change. Back... Now!”
“I... I will.” The Changeling said. “But first, you have to promise to hear me out and that you won’t attack me again.”
Normally Jon would have decked him in the face again for having the nerve to demand anything from him, but as long as he was in his Trixie form, Jon wouldn't lay a finger on him.
“And this time... you have to mean it.” He added.
Even though Jon was always a man of his word, he convinced himself that breaking the Changeling’s initial promise was acceptable, given the situation, but now things were different. Breaking a promise to a monster was one thing but he could never do it to Trixie... even if it was a Changeling that just looked liked her.
“Fine.” Jon sneered as he unclenched his fist. “... I promise.”
The two exchanged no words for the new few seconds, but just stared at each other to gauge each other’s reactions. For the Changeling, it was a fifty/fifty shot that he was telling the truth, but something told him that he was being genuine this time. So, with a deep sigh, the Changeling negated his own spell and returned to his true, monstrous form.
The second he did, Jon took a step forward which caused the intruder to step back in a panic, but when Jon didn’t follow through with any more surprise attacks, he realized that he was indeed safe and that Jon wouldn't hurt him. But he wanted to... nothing would have made Jon more happy then letting out more steam, but he just didn’t have the heart.
“Thank you.” The changeling said, which caused Jon to purse his lips and take a long deep breath through his mouth which sounded more like growing than a sigh.
“What do you want.” Jon asked.
“Well... I’m here because I wan... well actually first, because there’s something that... I have something to say.” He said.
“And what... would that be.” Jon ventured.
“Mr. Stewart.” He murmured as he looked away with sad eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
The more he thought about it, the more he he felt stupid for agreeing to listen to the creature that infiltrated his office.
When Trixie still lived in the same house as Jon, she made him promise that he wouldn’t turn her over to Celestia for traveling to the human world without permission. Even when she annoyed Jon the most, he always kept his promise, so even when someone who looked, acted, and sounded like Trixie presented him with similar proposal he still felt honor bound. Even though the person in question was another Changeling like the one who almost killed Trixie Jon still couldn't break his promise... very stupid.
“So very, very sorry.” The Changeling repeated.
“Sorry for what?” Jon asked with angry eyes that were aimed squarely at his Changeling adversary.
“Sorry for... well, a lot of things actually.” He claimed. “Firstly for turning into your friend Trixie... It was a cheap shot, but... it was the only way to get you to stop and listen to me.” To show why he had to do what he did the Changeling rubbed his stomach where he had been kicked a few times. At the time Jon still felt proud of himself.
“Also, I’m sorry for deceiving my way into your world, I just... had to see you and explain something to you... which brings me to my next point.” The apologetic creature continued, before bowing his head, taking a deep breath and looking back at Jon with sorry eyes. “I’m so sorry for what my Queen did to you.”
Since the attack, Jon had received his fair share of apologies from a lot of people. From fans of the show who were giving him condolences, to even Celestia herself who, like Jon, felt partially responsible for what happened, but never did Jon think he’d be hearing it from a Changeling, a servant of the very person who set this all in motion.
For some odd reason, rather than thinking that this was a cynical attempt to enact round two of the full on invasion, something about this Changeling’s heartfelt apology seemed genuine. Or at least genuine enough for Jon to hear him out.
“You... are?” Jon asked.
“Yes, I mean... what she did was... horrible.” He continued. “Word travels fast in Equestria and when I heard about what she did and... and how she did it... I knew I had to come here.”
There was a niggling suspicion in Jon’s mind that his intentions were more than just that, but for the sake out of sheer curiosity, he decided to stay on track.
“Shouldn’t you be mad at me?” Jon asked. “You do know that because of us, your mom was almost imprisoned at Canterlot Castle right... last I saw her, she was in really bad shape.” Talking about how much Chrysalis was injured from her last visit made Jon smile a bit.
“She’s not my mother.” The creature corrected in a slightly sullen town of voice. “I mean yes... she’s the leader of the Changelings... but not all of them.”
Sensing that there would be a lot to talk about, Jon, without breaking eye contact, walked behind his desk, picked up his fallen chair, and sat down.
“Explain.” Jon demanded. To get a better view of Jon from his now perched spot, the once disguised Changeling flew to a seat across from the desk.
“To put it simply... Queen Chrysalis controls a large colony of Changelings back in their domain.” He explained. “Have you ever heard of how we came to be who we are.”
“I have.” Jon answered. “You were once all ponies until a dark magic corrupted you... and turned you into monsters.” The way he explained it made both parties cringe.
“Yes well... some of us were only partially changed.” He explained, causing Jon to lift an eyebrow as this new information. “Every single one of us were altered physically... but some of us retained our minds. For some of us, in rare cases, the corruption only changed the outside and not the inside... Most, if not all, of these particular Changelings either left the colony to form a peaceful group or went out on their own to pursue their dreams.”
Like many ponies in Equestria, Jon did not know this.
“I am one of the few who kept their sanity.” He went on. “We aren’t like the others.”
“Hmph. Well obviously you are. Stealing another pony’s identity to sneak your way into my world seems pretty typical behavior from where I’m sitting” Jon sneered, his words as hurtful as one would expect. “Tell me, young man, what did you do to the real DJ Pygmalion, huh? Did you ask nicely before taking his place, or did you physically force him to go along with this.”
“Well... actually... ” He said. “I... I am DJ Pygmalion.”
The assumption on Jon’s part that all Changelings were ravaging monsters who went around stealing ponies in the dead of night was now slowly starting to peel away.
“Wait... you’re Pygmalion?” Jon asked. “As in... the one that Octavia and Vinyl talked about?”
“Remember when I said how some of the Changelings... who left the colony branched out on their own to do pursue their own calling?” He asked, getting a tentative nod in return. “That’s what I did... to follow my dream of being a musician... which would be difficult if everyone saw you as a monster so... I came up with DJ Pygmalion.”
When he finished his explanation, by uttering his name, he briefly turned back into his grey coated and oranged main form before quickly transforming back.
“Wait... so... the pony everyone knows as DJ Pygmalion... is actually... you?” Jon ventured further.
“Yeah, it’s complicated I know, but... it was the only way I could survive outside the colony.” Pygmalion explained.
“Is that how you managed to get here?” Jon wondered out loud.
“Exactly... I didn’t technically sneak in.” Pygmalion added. “Since the attack on your world, Princess Celestia has been doing routine magical background checks to make sure that everypony is who they say they are to be sure the same thing doesn’t happen again. When you allowed me to come here, she did the same with me... and determined that I was indeed DJ Pygmalion... not knowing that Pygmalion was a Changeling the entire time.”
It was more or less at this point that Jon was wondering whether this one little Changeling was a genius, extremely lucky, or if Celestia sucked at doing her job.
“So... DJ Pygmalion... is actually a Changeling.” Jon summarized.
“Yes, but that wasn’t always my name.” Pygmalion corrected. “It’s just the stage name I created for myself when I set out on my own... my name... the name that the Changelings know me as is Ryne.”
Leaning back in his seat, Jon rubbed his eyes with his left hand and slid it down across his face. This was all a lot to take in.
“Ok Ryne... tell me... Why are you here?” Jon asked.
“Huh?” Ryne responded.
“You heard me... Why are you here?” Jon repeated. “You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought, and don’t tell me it was just to apologize because I know it had to be more than just that.”
“Um... yeah there is.” Ryne whimpered. Jon leaned forward in anticipation with an idea of what he would say, he just wanted to hear him say it. “With your permission... I’d like to be on your show.”
“Of course.” Jon thought to himself. “It never changes.”
“Please just hear me out.” Ryne said, his front hooves now on top of Jon’s desk. “I can certainly understand why you’d be reluctant, but let me explain.” Before he could however, Jon interjected.
“You must think I’m some kind of extraordinary idiot.” Jon rebutted.
“NO! Not at all!” Ryne insisted. “Please, I just need to--”
“What you need?” Jon interrupted. “No... let me tell you what I need... I need to look out for myself and the well-being of my family, I need to do my job without fear that some creature who may or may not be a monster will show up, and damnit , I need my friend back!”
With heavy breathing, Jon sat back down his chair while Ryne respectfully stayed silent and waited until it was his turn to speak.
“Again... I’m sorry for what happened to Trixie. But you see... that’s why I want to go on your show.” Ryne explained with sad eyes. “Mr. Stewart... back home, we Changelings are looked at as monsters, and ever since the wedding incident and what happened with you... it’s gotten worse.”
Jon found it difficult to feel sympathetic for him, but out of misguided respect he listened.
“Some ponies have even talked about... getting rid of us for good, and that scares me.” Ryne gulped. “There are others out there, like me, who are just trying to do good, but without proper context nopony will ever know of them... It’s difficult to build good relations with the ponies in Equestria when all the Changelings who do good are in hiding and the ones under Chrysalis are out there causing trouble... which is why I came here today to ask for your help... please... let me use your show as a conduit... to explain to the world that not all Changelings are bad.”
If there was a theme to how Jon was feeling at that very moment, it would be “internal conflict.” He was now starting to feel swayed by the words of this seemingly kind hearted creature, but on the other hand he couldn't help but see him as a physical symbol of that that had happened to him.
“You’ll forgive me if I’m not... very enthusiastic about your proposal.” Jon commented. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard or not, but the last time a Changeling wanted to be on my show, it didn’t turn out so well... could be another evil, albeit risky, attempt to just use my show to gain power, just from a different angle... for all I know, you saw Chrysalis do this and decided to try it yourself.”
“And I understand that, but... but here! I’ll make it easy for you! We can do the show off the air on recording... that way you’ll know for sure that I won’t gain any power from people who are watching. I just want to spread my message of peace and love, I don’t care when you air it... also I’ll stay in my Unicorn form so as to not arouse any suspicion or chaos... I just want to spread my message.” Ryne said with a determined look on his face. Before continuing, he flew across the table, grabbed Jon’s cell phone from off his desk. “And if that’s not enough, here... if you truly want nothing to do with me and my plan, you can call Celestia and turn me in... as Ryne the Changeling.”
A look of surprise, greater than when he first discovered that Pygmalion was a Changeling, appeared on Jon’s face. Now there was no longer any doubt in Jon’s mind that this creature was the real deal.
“But... if you want to help me... you can call her and tell her that DJ Pygmalion made it alright and he’ll be on the show.” He continued. “The choice is yours.”
A silence in the room soon followed with the only person making any noise was Ryne whose wings buzzed as he hovered over Jon with his own phone in his hooves. Jon didn’t know what to say or do, about all he could do was look upwards at the Changeling drone, and he found him surprisingly less terrifying than before. As if his hand was moving on it’s own, Jon reached forward and grabbed his personal device, whereupon he made a few finger gestures and looked back up at Ryne.
“You do realize, all I’ll have to do is say the word... and Celestia will use her magic to do god knows what to you.” Jon warned.
“I know,” Ryne said.
“I mean she sent her own sister to the moon.” Jon added. “Imagine what she’d do to you.”
“I well aware... but... I trust you.” Ryne assured him. Placing his phone on his desk Jon took a deep breath stood up to look him in the eye.
“But why me?” Jon asked. “Why come to me for your Changeling baggage. Why... why didn’t you go to Celestia after Chrysalis invaded Canterlot with the same idea?”
“Are you kidding!? Do you know what she would have done with me?” Ryne answered. “After the wedding disaster, we became the number one hate figure... plus given the history prior to that, if I had gone to her, she would have imprisoned me for sure... I came to you because I knew you’d be more understanding.”
If he was trying to guilt Jon into submission, he was certainly doing a good job of it. When he received fan mail while in the hospital, he recalled reading a few with some less than appropriate words about the Changeling species.
“Plus with your show, you have a greater influence than Celestia could ever have... with my identity being closely kept secret enough to slip by and the fact that two of my friends had already been on your show, I knew that I was in the perfect position to do this.” Ryne continued. “I know you don’t owe me anything and I would perfectly understand if you wanted to send me packing but... please... please, do this for me... I know we Changelings aren’t your favorite bunch of creatures but... what Chrysalis did... and the way she makes us all look bad I... It’s... DAMNIT, IT’S NOT FAIR !”
No one was more surprised by Ryne’s outburst than Ryne himself. He was so surprised, in fact, that he quickly flew back to his seat across from Jon and eagerly awaited to see what the famous comedian would do next. For a while, he did nothing but stare at Ryne with a seemingly emotionless face before slowly lifting his hand to press a single button on his phone.
Ring ring ring
Jon had now dialed Celestia's number, but since it was on speaker so both he and Ryne could hear it. This made the Changeling drone nervous since he was going to hear for himself his own fate. Would Jon choose DJ Pygmalion or Ryne?
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
The time between Jon calling Celestia and her actually answering seemed to have lasted an eternity to Ryne. He didn’t even hear the phone’s ringing, he was too distracted by the thought that whatever Jon would say would determine how the rest of his life would play out. He eventually sat up and took notice when a voice found its way to the surface.
“Greetings once again, Jon.” Celestia said, her voice just as smooth and tender as always. “I’m assuming you are calling about your guest... or perhaps for some other reason.”
“No, no, I’m here to tell talk about the pony you sent me.” Jon answered, speaking in a tone like he was talking about an order he had shipped over Amazon or eBay.
“Ah, excellent.” She retorted. “Tell me... did he arrive alright?”
Despite his wife’s best efforts to keep it healthy, Jon’s heart was now racing at a high rate. The way both he and Ryne stared at the device before them, with such intensity and uncertainty, it looked like they were trying to disarm a bomb rather than having a conference call.
“Jon? Hello, Jon?” Celestia repeated. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah... yeah, I heard you.” Jon answered. “And yes... DJ Pygmalion made it alright.”
Hearing his stage name made the wayward Changeling so happy that he silently jumped in the air and, before landing back in his seat, turned back to the form he originally used to trick Celestia.
“One more thing.” Jon added, “His real name is Ryne and he’s also a Changeling.” and just like that, the once happy Ryne lost all feeling in his body to the point where he couldn't control his shapeshifting for the time being, so he returned to his original form.
For the next few seconds, no one said a word. Jon just sat in his seat waiting to explain while Celestia was busily trying to process this new information.
“WHAT! ” She yelled. “What did you say!”
“I said that Pygmalion made it here, but at the same time, he is also a changeling.” Jon repeated. Having been betrayed by Jon, it felt like the world was pulled out from under Ryne. He didn’t say anything to defend himself or run away, he just sat back with quivering lips as tears began to distort his vision.
“I... I sent you a Changeling instead of Pygmalion!?” She yelled in disbelief.
“Well actually, the two are one in the same... it’s kinda complicated, but I’ll explain later.” Jon assured her.
“J-Jon, please forgive me!” Celestia roared as she made plans for an extraction spell. “Get as far away from the beast as you can, I’m going to cast a series of spells to subdue him.”
At this point, Ryne now felt like maybe he should run away or at least try to avoid capture, but in the end he decided to stay put; he made a promise to Jon and he was going to keep it by staying put. However, even if he wanted to leave, he wouldn't have been able to because, at that moment, Jon reached forward and defiantly grabbed his hoof.
“Actually, he’s not going anywhere.” He said as he firmly tightened his grip.
“...Excuse me... ” Celestia gasped.
“I said, he’s not going anywhere.” He repeated. “We talked and I’ve decided to have him on my show as is, so please... don’t take him away.”
Sensing that Jon was serious, both by his tone and the fact that she could sense that he was within close proximately to Ryne, she momentarily disarmed her horn.
“Jon, this isn’t funny!” She chided. “Get away from that creature! You don’t know what they are capable of.”
“Really?” Jon challenged. “You think that I ,of all people, don't know what a Changeling can do.”
Celestia now felt stupid for her lapse in memory.
“I’m... you know what I mean, Jon.” She rebutted. “But please, do as I say! We need to get this thing out of your world and back to--”
“This thing has a name.” Jon interrupted. “His name is Ryne... he’s a DJ under the stage name Pygmalion and he’s going to be on my show.”
“Jon... ” She said. “I don’t know what... this Ryne said to you, but I highly advise you not do this.” Sitting back in his chair, Jon took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Going up against Celestia was a lot harder than he thought it would be.
“Celestia, do you remember what you told me back when I was in the hospital of Canterlot Castle, right after the attack?” Jon asked. When he didn’t get an answer back he filled in the blanks for her. “You said if there was anything you could do to make it up to me, that you’d do it... well I’m cashing in that favor... I want Ryne as my next guest.”
The more she thought about it, the more she began to realize just how much danger Jon was in... that is to say, almost none at all. A single Changeling on their own couldn’t do that much damage, especially since, unlike their Queen, they can’t use magic outside their natural ability to shapeshift, but still... she didn’t like any of this.
“If... if that is what you really want... then...against by better judgement... I... I will allow it.” She reluctantly agreed. “But I would like it to go on record that I am very disappointed in your decision and believe it to be very irresponsible on your part.”
“Duly noted.” Jon responded as he pressed a button on his other phone, signaling for someone. “I need to go and get things ready... we’ll talk later, but for now, thank you for agreeing with me.”
The two said their goodbyes with Celestia sounding the more distraught out of the two. As Jon put his phone back in his breast pocket, he looked over at Ryne who still looked to be in a state of disbelief. The new silence was first shattered by the
“I... I don’t understand.” Ryne admitted. “Why agree to have me and out me as a Changeling at the same time.”
“Because, if this is going to happen, then we’re doing it by my terms.” Jon answered. “You want to explain about how some Changelings are all about hugs and rainbows, that’s fine... but on my show, we’re going to have complete transparency.”
“But... but if Celestia knows I’m a changeling,” Ryne ventured with shifting eyes. “I mean, when I return home, won’t she just--”
“You let me worry about Celestia.” Jon demanded. “I’ll work things out with her... You just worry about the interview... because as far as I’m concerned... it’s going to happen.”
At that moment, the door to Jon’s office swung open, followed by a skinny male asian with tan skin and dark black hair walking in. This once intern was now a full on employee well on his way to becoming a Daily Show veteran so, at this point, he had seen his fair share of creatures come from Equestria, but when laid eyes on Ryne, he was somewhat startled.
“Uh... what’s up, boss?” He said.
“Ah, perfect timing!” Jon said as he got up and put a hand behind his guest and brought him across the room. “Ryne, this is one of my best employees, Fred Kim. Mr. Kim here will be escorting you to the dressing room where he will inform you on what to expect. Freddy... do take care of our guest, will you.”
“Uh, sure thing.” He said as he reached out to grab Ryne’s hoof. “It’s just down the hallways.”
As the two of them left hand in hoof, Jon retreated back to his desk as he still had some more phone calls to make. Before the two actually left, Jon called out one last time.
“One more thing, Ryne.” He announced. “I have to ask you something... something which, fair warning, I will ask you again on the show.”
“Y-yeah?” Ryne indulged, still unsure of what was going on.
“Why... would you risk everything... to help those who only do you harm?” He asked. “Granted, it seems that there are some Changelings who are nice like you... but... why associate yourself with Changelings even a little... you’ve escaped the colony with your mind intact and you’ve created a life for yourself... a life where you are beloved and tolerated, not hated... why would you risk all of that.”
Instead of answering immediately, Ryne thought long and hard about it, letting the question fester for a while.
“To be honest... I just... when I heard about what Chrysalis did... and when I made the connection that I was in the perfect position to do something about it... I just felt like it was my duty to make the change happen.” Ryne answered. “I remember very clearly the moment I decided to do this... it was when I watched your interview with Princess Luna.”
“Really?” Jon wondered. “Why that?” Before answering, Ryne looked away like he was hiding something before addressing him.
“Because... during the interview... you said all Changelings are evil... that really hurt me.” Ryne revealed with a sad look about him. “I know... you of all people would probably have the right to say something like that, but... it’s not right to assume that all Changelings are evil based on the actions of one group.”
His words, though simple, felt to Jon as if some had stabbed him multiple times with sharpened knives. He was so overcome with emotions that that he fell back, whereupon he was caught by his chair. The tension was so thick that Fred couldn't wait to leave.
“Um... anything else, boss?” Fred said, only to get a wave of the hand by Jon for him to leave. Before doing so, he bent down to grab Ryne’s hoof again. “Okay, c’mon little dude. Let’s get outta here.”
Jon was now alone in his office with only his thoughts keeping him company. There was so much new information to take in and Jon had to categorize them all and try to make sense of it. It was during this intense session of self reflection that Jon came to a decision. Quickly he picked up his phone and made a call to another department in the office.
“Hello Selina? It’s me Jon.” He said “Listen there have been a change in plans with the show tonight, so please listen.”
After a quick back and forth with his assistant which played out not unlike his conversation with Celestia, Selina agreed to set some things up. Having set his plan into motion, Jon got up from his seat and walked a few inches behind him to the window of his office where he could see his beloved city of New York.
Memories from a time gone by flooded in while the knowledge that Equestria was just beyond the realm of this world crept it’s way to the surface.
“Oh boy,” Jon sighed as he rubbed his tired face. “I hope I know what I’m doing.”
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
Your moment of zen: Part 1
“That. Was. Amazing! ” Ryne roared as both he and Jon made their way backstage. The taping had officially ended and the two of them were heading towards the section of the building that had the waiting rooms just across the hall from the main section where the writers worked.
“Glad you liked it.” Jon commented as he watched his Changeling friend fly back and forth above him in a zig-zag pattern, like he was dodging flying debris. “You seem excited.”
“Oh man, I feel great!” Ryne yelled as the two entered the room where most interviewees waited till they are called. “Do all your guests feel this way after an interview!?”
“Yeah, some more than others.” Jon answered as he stuck his finger in his ear. “Would you mind lowering your voice? I’m already going blind, I don’t need to go deaf too.”
“Oh, sorry!” Ryne blurted as he grounded himself, only to quickly fly back in the air to do a quick lap around the room. “That was just so... fucking... awesome! I’ve DJ’d some events before, but none of them even compares the rush of being on your show! It’s like this tingling feeling all over and and... and... WOW ! It’s everything Octavia and Vinyl said it would be!”
“Oh really?” Jon chuckled. “What did they say exactly.”
“Well... Octy said it’s the feeling you get when you hit that perfect note during a symphony.” Ryne paraphrased. “Or when you get knighted in the rotunda of the most majestic castle, while a full moon acts as your spotlight... both exhilarating and humbling.”
“And Vinyl?” Jon wondered.
“She said it was like chugging ten energy drinks at once while getting pounded from behind.” Ryne said, before pausing to think. “... Or maybe it was the other way around.”
On cue, both parties began to laugh the sight of each other trying to hold back their stifled giggles. What followed soon was an awkward silence, brought on by the realization by the two entertainers in the room of what was to come next. Jon sat down on a nearby sofa while Ryne took so sitting on the ground in the center of the room.
“So... this is the part where I go home now, huh?” Ryne said with a deep sigh.
“Yeah.” Jon answered with a light shrug. “Any second now, Celestia is going to use her hocus pocus to zap ya back to Equestria... from there, she won’t do anything else.”
“... But what if she--” Ryne started before getting cut off.
“She won’t.” Jon assured him. “We talked it over... when you get back, she wont lock you up or banish you from the kingdom or anything like that... I even managed to convince her to pardon you for sneaking your way into my world.”
Ryne was dubious about all this since it seemed too good to be true. But the way Jon said it made him believe that he was safe.
“Thank you, Jon.” Ryne sighed. “That really means a lot... you didn’t have to.”
“Oh, but I do.” Jon corrected. “Anyone one who comes on my show is getting the special treatment... besides that’s what friends do for each other.”
The word ‘friend’ was one that Ryne heard every now and again in his life, but this was the first time he heard it while in his Changeling form. It felt nice. It was at that moment that he was reminded of something, something which was the entire point of his coming over to the human world.
“That reminds me... about our interview.” Ryne said, as Jon took of his sports jacket and loosened his tie. “I know the point of a backup interview is that you’ll never know when you’ll need it... but do you have any idea of when you’ll play it?”
As grateful as he was, Ryne still wanted nothing more than to have his message be spread to those around Equestria, especially now more than ever.
“Hmmmmm.” Jon murmured as he closed his eyes to think. “I would guess... probably a few weeks from now when I’m on a two-week break.”
“R-really!?” Ryne blurted out as he flew in the air with excitement.
“Sure, why not?” Jon responded. “We here at Daily Show Headquarters love playing reruns.”
At first, Ryne felt like bursting through the ceiling with joy, but before he could even process how he felt about this, something Jon had said caught his attention.
“W-wait a minute... ‘reruns?’” Ryne asked. “I-I don’t understand.”
“Oh, you haven’t figured it out yet?” Jon answered as he rolled up his sleeves and began to stretch his tired arms. “Our little interview we just had... it wasn’t just taped.”
“W... wait.” Ryne said. “A-are... are you saying what I think you’re saying.”
“That’s right.” Jon confirmed. “That was live.”
This sudden news caused Ryne to drop from the sky whereupon he landed with a thud against the ground. From the very moment Jon agreed to interview him he was under the impression that it would be taped and then processed for screening at a later date. The option of having it done in that matter was solely done by Ryne to convince Jon that he was on the level... never did he think his bargaining chip would’ve been unnecessary.
“So... if... if that was live.” Ryne surmised out loud. “Then that... means--”
“That means that, what you’re feeling right now isn’t just the high one gets after being on stage.” Jon commented as he got up to try and touch his toes. “I’m... no expert on Changing anatomy, but I’m assuming what you’re feeling right now is the love of countless ponies and humans now being funneled. So that tingling feeling you're getting is probably pure raw power... or maybe you just really have to go to the bathroom, I don’t know.”
The more he thought about it, the more Ryne started to realize that what he felt inside of him wasn’t that much different than the feeling he got whenever he absorbed someone’s love. Only in this case, the feeling was extremely numerous and much more intense. In disbelief, he placed his hooves over his face only to realize that the bruises and cuts that he had once suffered at the hands of Jon were now a thing of the past. Jon was telling the truth; Ryne was now holding the love of billions of different entities.
“I-I-I don’t understand.” Ryne finally said. “W-why did... I mean why did you... ”
“Why did I change my mind? It’s simple really.” Jon responded. “I like to think of my show... as a device to promote change in between all the fart jokes... you had a message... worthy enough for all the world to see ... so I just figured it was time people hear it. And sooner rather than later.”
A simple ‘thank you’ didn’t seem enough anymore. Ryne didn’t know how to adequately express himself at that moment (A trait which got him interested in music in the first place) so instead, he just sat in the middle of the room, unable to say anything.
“Oh, don’t go all quiet on me now.” Jon teased; but Ryne still remained silent. When he first concocted his plan of sneaking into the Daily Show to try and speak about his experiences, he never thought he’d get this far. He thought for sure Jon would say no and send him back. So for him to not only get his chance to go on TV, but to have it aired live the very same day was beyond surreal.
“Jon... can I ask you something?” Ryne mumbled.
“Shoot.” Jon said.
“Why... why would you risk everything like that?” Ryne asked. “For... for all you know I could just have been another Changeling trying to hijack your show and steal some love for power... I mean, even now... if what you’re saying is true, you have no idea how... how... how much power I have... I mean there’s trust, and then there’s... this.”
“Well, I like think we’ve built enough of a rapport that you won’t go around and stab me in the back.” Jon joked, which earned him not a giggle, but a look from Ryne that said he was all too serious. “Okay, okay. You want to know why I put you on my show... you want to know why I did all of this just for you?”
“Yes.” Ryne said. “Please tell me.”
Before answering, Jon got up and walked all the way across the room to a window just to the left of Ryne. There he leaned up against the wall and stared out the window at the New York sky.
“Ryne, how much of U.S. history do you know?” Jon began. “I ask because, did you know Queen Chrysalis coming to my world wasn’t the first time something like that had happened?”
“You... you’ve been attacked before?” Ryne asked his attention instantly seized in the moment.
“Well, not me per say... but yes, New York has been the victim of an invading force once before.” Jon continued with a sigh. “Back in 2001... a group of evil men... attacked New York... destroying one of our most precious landmarks.”
There was no way for Ryne to know any of this, but as someone who lived in Ponyville, he certainly knew the feeling of being attacked by evil forces. It happened almost on a weekly basis.
“I... had no idea.” Ryne said. “Did... did anypony get hurt””
“Oh yes.” Jon said, his answer heavy in tone. “A lot of people got hurt... even now, some of us are still feeling the affects of what happened.”
Instead of continuing with his explanation, Jon just stared out the same window until his attention was pulled away.
“Why are you telling me this?” Ryne asked. In response to this, Jon walked up to him, knelt down on one knee, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Ryne, do you remember the last thing you told me before the interview started. You said that it wasn’t right to blame an entire group of people... based solely on the actions of one group... you have no idea how right you are.” Jon said. Ryne stayed silent, unable to look away. “This attack... on New york, well, let’s just say that it was performed by a certain group of people... a group of people who were of the same race as some of our citizens. After this attack happened, people started to... well, let’s just say they were so paranoid about what happened that hurtful prejudice surfaced and innocent men and women now found themselves at the center of unwarranted hate and bigotry as a result.”
Yet another thing that Ryne could relate to.
“Back when this happened... I was one of the first people to come out in defense of these people. I talked about how we can’t go around judging others just because of what a couple of idiots did.” Jon continued. “Back then, I said it wasn’t right and by doing it we were devaluing ourselves as a society... but... it seems I’ve forgotten that which I once believed... Ryne... before you go, I just want to say... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I treated you... I’m sorry for hurting you, and most of all, I’m sorry for going on TV and saying that all Changelings are evil... it was wrong of me and I had no right... I now know that there are a some that are pretty alright... like you.”
There was so much that Ryne wanted to say, but all his comments and questions took a back seat as his mind was still processing that, right there and then, someone had actually apologized for what they said about his own people. Something he thought he’d never hear in his entire immortal existence.
And he was still dumbfounded, even as Jon got up and walked backwards to bridge the gap between them.
“So, to answer your question, the reason I did all this is because, the way I see it... if one Changeling can come on my show and ruin it for everyone else... I figure it’ll take another Changeling to make it right again.” Jon proclaimed
The silence in the room was like nothing Ryne had ever experienced. There was so much to take in, he barely knew where to start. Finally, after while of staring at the ground, he opened his mouth express himself, but again he didn’t know what to say.
“It’s like I said when we first met... ” Jon continued.
Before he could finish his thought, an unseen force swept Ryne so quickly that, had Jon blinked, he probably would have missed seeing his body vanish. Instead of being concerned, Jon knew all too well what this was. No doubt as sure as he was breathing was Ryne now in the presence of Celestia herself, just like they had planned.
“... just be yourself.” He added with a sigh as he made his way to the door to exit the room.
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
Your moment of zen: Part 2
“From one world to another, the transition is instantaneous.”
These were the words that Jon had carved into a plaque which hung just above the door to the waiting room at the Daily Show headquarters.
Ryne, like several others before him, experienced this whenever Celestia used her magic to transport them back and forth between their world and Jon’s. This also meant that, in less than a second, instead of New York, he was now back in Equestria.
It took a moment to realize where he was. The once low-key and minimalist room that was Jon’s waiting room, was now the very center of the royal chamber at Canterlot Castle. Instead of a worn out sofa, there was a throne, instead of a complimentary bowl of candy, there were display ornaments, instead of a gaggle of interns and writers trying to get his attention, Ryne was now surrounded by royal guards. And most importantly, instead of Jon Stewart, there was Princess Celestia.
“EEP!” Ryne yelped, as he quickly used his magic to transform himself back to his grey and orange DJ form.
“Be still young one, you are in no danger.” Celestia assured him, though it didn’t exactly help with each guard pointing their spear at him. “I only wish to speak with you... nothing more.”
“P-p-p-princess!” Ryne stuttered before dropping to his knees and bowing his head. Celestia expected him to say something but for awhile all he did was stay in this position till he worked up the nerve to speak.“P-PLEASE FORGIVE ME YOUR MAJESTY! I’m sorry for deceiving you and lying to get into the human world! Please don’t banish me.”
With his head down, Ryne couldn't see what was going on around him. All he heard was the sound of hoofsteps approaching him. He braced himself for the worse, but got the exact opposite.
“Arise, Mr. Pygmalion.” She said in a soft tone. “Or do you prefer to go by Ryne?”
“Um... R-Ryne is fine.” He said as he slowly got up. “You’re... you're not mad at me?”
Celestia chuckled as she leaned in so she wouldn't have to raise her voice for him to hear her.
“Of course not, young Changeling.” She said. “Why would you think that?”
“Oh well, I just... I just assumed that you... ” He stammered trying to phrase his answer delicately. “I just thought you would be mad that I tricked you... is all." His answer made the guards around him noticeably annoyed, but a quick glance by Celestia told them to hold back.
“While I will admit that I wasn’t... exactly thrilled about the idea of having you in New York at first.” Celestia admitted. “But that all changed once I saw your interview... I must say it was very well done.”
“You... you liked it?” Ryne asked.
“Oh my, yes. It was very entertaining, definitely in my top ten favorites” She answered. “I found it quite engaging because I got learn a lot about you... and your people.” Ryne could hardly believe this was happening.
“So... I’m not in trouble?” He added.
“It took a considerable amount of arguing with Jon on that very subject, but I have come to the conclusion that no... you are not in any trouble.” She said.
“Well... I should be.” Ryne said, surprising everyone in the room. “I deliberately broke the law when I lied to get into the human world... and for that, I shouldn’t be treated differently than anypony else... if you feel the need to punish me... then you should.”
The silence between them was promptly broken by Celestia chuckling to herself
“Yes, it’s true that the process by which you you entered the human world was... a bit unorthodox.” She admitted. “But another way one could approach this matter is that since both DJ Pygmalion and Ryne are one in the same pony, you didn’t lie to me so, in a sense... no laws were broken.”
“So... I can continue to stay here?” He asked, getting a nod in return.
“By my royal decree, Ryne the Changeling shall be allowed to live within my kingdom.” She said, causing all the guards to take a step back and lower their weapons as a smile materialized on Ryne's face. “What you did today was a truly brave act. You not only risked your life doing what you believed was right, but you also showed me that, despite popular opinion, there are those like you who are worth listening to.”
“...All I ever wanted was a chance to tell the world that we can be good!” He blurted out of nowhere as tears began to stream down his face. Before he could verbally express this new found emotion, a gentle hoof found its way to his face, wiping away the loose tear drops.
“And you got what you wanted.” Celestia said. “You have proven, not just to me... but to quite a great number of ponies, that some Changelings are capable of compassion, understanding, integrity, and benevolence... and it’s because of these traits that I will permit you to stay in Ponyville... if that’s okay with you that is.”
“...THANK YOU!” A tearful Ryne roared as he jumped to give Celestia a hug. This action in turn made all the guards equip their weapons again, only to withdraw them when Celetia motioned with her hoof to stand down.
“It’s no problem really.” She assured him. “Just do me one single favor.”
“Of course!” Ryne blurted. “Anything!”
“The next time you’re doing a show... please inform me first.” She said “I would very much like to hear your music.” And with that, the two exchanged some warm smiles as the guards created a path for Ryne to the door where another pair of guards were ready to escort them.
“Now then, I do have some business to attend to so, if you don’t mind.” She said as she motioned to the door. “My guards will escort you out.”
“O-okay!” Ryne said as he turned around to leave before being called back.
“One last thing.” Celestia said. “Before you depart... I would like to... officially welcome you to our little family.”
Ryne turned to see Celestia offering her hoof for a shake. Surprised by this action he looked behind him at the guards, though they didn't make eye contact. Hesitantly he walked up to Celestia and gently reached out to grab a hold. Right before he was about to make contact Celetia quickly recoiled her hoof, causing a confused Ryne to stare at her.
“But... when I said I want to welcome you, I mean the real you... the real Ryne.” She said. The request didn’t sit well with Ryne. Not because he was afraid of revealing himself to be a Changeling, that ship had long since set sail. What irked him the most was the conditions of the request. The last time Princess Celestia met face to face with a Changeling (in this very room no less) was during the Canterlot invasion by Queen Chrysalis, where she suffered a momentary defeat... So for her to be asking such a thing seemed too esoteric.
“As you wish... your majesty.” Ryne closed his eyes and concentrated. In a flash of green light, Ryne had reverted to his old form. Celestia watched as the subject before him slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes, revealing a large set of yellow insect pupils, when he opened his mouth to let out a sigh she could see his sharp row of teeth. He looked scared so she aimed to help anyway she can. Firstly by extending her hoof once more.
“Ryne.” She said as she grabbed his hoof and gave it a firm shake. “Welcome to my kingdom... I think you’re going to like it here.”
Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
(Bonus Chapter) Whatever happened to Ryne?
A few miles outside the Ponyville borders lies a range filled with mountains, most of which have been mined out and abandoned. Between two of these mountains lies an untouched field that can only be accessed by either flying high over the terrain then down its crevasse, or by taking a secret tunnel located in an old mining vain.
Since the area is surrounded by the rocky walls, it’s a great place to either hide or just go unnoticed for a while. Ryne loved to spend his time here whenever he just wanted to get away from it all.
The field itself was mostly comprised of tall grass. There were some trees here and there, but a majority of them were located on the edge, close to the mountains. There was one tree close to the center, but it was overshadowed by the giant boulder that rested directly in the middle of this tiny slice of paradise.
Whenever Ryne visited this place, he always took a second to decide whether he would sit under the boulder or the tree. A useless ritual on his part since he always went for the tree. It provided more shade, and from under it, he could always see the huge rock just ahead of him which acted as a makeshift sundial, so he always knew what time it was.
Such was the case even now as Ryne was busy hiding under the tree across his boulder going over the events that had transpired for the past few days. It had been almost 72 hours since his visit to the human world, and still, he had a hard time believing it was anything but a realistic dream.
It would be some time before any real change would happen, but for the time being, Ryne felt content in the knowledge that he at least tried to spark some change in the hearts and minds of the Equestrian populace. Ever since then, with his true identity revealed, and his new tendency to walk the streets as a Changeling, Ryne felt as if everything he did was done for the very first time all over again. He met his neighbors again for the very first time, he went to the corner store for the very first time, he practiced music for the very first time, and indeed he went to his secret spot for the very first time.
Funnily enough, everyone he ever knew, from close personal friends to slight acquaintances, now knew he was changeling and on occasion even got the chance to see him in his real form. But none of them drew attention to that fact, or at least to any significant degree. No one treated him any differently than before, except for the quick congrats on making it on the show, and most of the time, they treated him not as a hero or as villain, but just same as they always did, with maybe a brighter smile. Ryne loved every minute of it.
But out of all the recent events, one in particular kept him up at nights. He racked his brain over and over again about this particular topic, and in truth, so did a lot of other ponies, they were just too respectful to say anything about it... all except for Vinyl who nearly tackled him when he came home to address it out of curiosity.
“Hey Pyggy! Did you like, get a ton of love from the show?” Ryne remembers her asking. “So like what’s the deal? How strong are ya now?”
To her credit, it was a valid question that not even Ryne knew the answer to. Whenever a Changeling feeds on someone’s love, the feeling they get from absorbing it is unique to that person, not unlike a fingerprint or one’s own DNA. One pony’s love might taste rather sweet and feel light in the system while someone else's can taste bitter and will feel heavy on the stomach. Ever since the interview, Ryne could feel countless different varieties of flavors swirling around his body, making him feel a constant tingling sensation that never went away.
Based on this, he assumed that the amount of love he received was a lot, but he had no way of quantifying it for sure. The only signs that he could properly identify as a result of this mass undertaking of power was the fact that his face was healed up, and also, his not being hungry for the past couple of days. Unbeknownst to him at the time, he had billions of different energy sources within him so strong that he could live thousands of lifetimes over and still not use up a one percent of his overall energy.
But Ryne didn’t know this because, except for his body subconsciously using it’s own resources to heal or feed, he refused to actually tap into his newly acquired reserve of energy. The reason being was he was terrified of what it might do to him. For all he knew, the second he did, he would explode or something.
The thought that his own Queen risking her life, and quite nearly getting captured, in the process of trying to get the love from the “Daily Show” audience told Ryne that what he now had was not something to take lightly. Though it was mind boggling to him how Chrysalis got beaten to an inch of her life in a failed attempt to steal the very same power that was practically handed to him by Jon.
The more he thought about it, the more his curiosity started to get the better of him, much in the same fashion that he feared this new power might do. Though he wasn’t fooling anyone... the real reason he came to his secret spot wasn’t to hide from ponies who had already accepted him for who he was, but to test this new source of energy where no one could get hurt. It was now time.
“Ok Ryne, you can do this.” He said as he stood to his feet. “Just take deep... breaths.” His body was ready to undergo the next step, but his mind was hesitant. The last time a Changeling came into a vast amount of love power, she nearly took over Canterlot.
“No... this is different. You’re not like her... you never were.” Ryne reminded himself as he continued to breath deep. “And you never... ever... WILL! ”
Ask any yoga instructor, and they’ll tell you the key to controlling one's energy is a through a combination of mind, body, and spirit. Only when you relax and control your breathing can this happen and with Ryne he did just that. When he opened himself up the power that was sleeping inside of him, it instantly flowed to his entire body like a broken dam releasing a torrent of water. For the briefest of moments, Ryne felt as if his stomach would explode, but eventually the odd sensation subsided leaving him feeling as normal as ever.
“There.” He thought. “I... I did it.”
With heavy breath Ryne began to examine himself to see if everything was alright, and to his relief, he was fine. His body hadn’t changed nor did he feel mentally unstable or anything of that nature, he just felt the same as he always did which, in a sense, left him feeling anti-climatic. Did it work? Was the love power now fully integrated within him? How could he tell? What could he now do? All of these questions plagued young Ryne’s mind all eventually silenced when a new idea popped into his head.
“I wonder.” Ryne thought, as he turned around to see the tree where he usually leaned on. It was both an excellent source of shade as well as a decent enough cover, so that anyone who was flying overhead wouldn't see him through the thick fold of leaves and branches.
Slowly, Ryne approached it and began to examine it’s texture. It was a huge tree with deep roots, so it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. This gave him an idea.
“Well.” Ryne mumbled to himself as he carefully lifted one leg parallel to it much like how a dog would prepare to do it’s business. “Here goes nothing.”
As hard as he could, Ryne threw his legs back against the tree to see how much force he could apply on it’s surface, a task which would have gone more smoothly had he’d actually been looking at the tree. Rather than observing first hand himself, Ryne winced his eyes shut and looked away. This meant that he didn’t see anything happen, but soon after his eyes shot back opened once he heard the sound of something exploding, followed by what felt like rain.
Startled by this sudden occurrence, Ryne jolted from his starting place and turned around only to witness something that shocked and terrified him. The tree in which he was so accustomed to hiding under had been yanked out from the ground, root by root, and was now clear across the field, shattered into thousands of pieces where it terminated on the side of the mountain.
Even at that moment, as he stared at the spot on the wall which now had a large gash on it’s surface, thousands of tiny sized toothpicks rained all around him.
“YAH!” Ryne screamed as he fell to his back and, in a panic, began to crawl away from the scene as if the person who did all this was now after him. He managed to carry himself a few feet away before bumping his head on some kind of large object behind him. When he turned around to investigate what it was, he found that it was in fact the boulder in the middle of the field which he had originally turned down in favor of the tree.
Bumping his head against the its hard surface was just the trick to get Ryne to momentarily calm down and catch his breath, which was difficult since he felt as if he was in the middle of a war zone. After the rain of splinters finally came to an end, he slowly lifted himself up with some help from the boulder.
Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, Ryne was trying to convince himself that what had happened had no connection to him. Since he didn’t actually see the tree explode against the side of the mountain, he had a hard time believing it was because of him. Yet at the same time, he knew it couldn't have been anyone else... he was all alone with no one even knowing he was here.
Ryne’s right hoof was still pressed up against the boulder from when he helped himself up. Another, similar, idea came to mind. He was going to perform another test, and this time he was going to see if this power of his was real or not.
Slowly he took back his hoof and, like a fat cat trying to lazily swat a toy, gently wiped the side of the boulder in an upwards motion like he was trying to brush some lint off of it. This time, Ryne had his eyes glued to the massive rock to make sure to record if anything happened, and to his surprise, something did.
Like before, a great sound, closely resembling a crash, echoed throughout the valley, and within the blink of an eye, the boulder was no longer planted deeply into the the earth, but was now hurtling into the sky wildly, like someone had lit some explosives under it.
“DEAR SWEET CELESTIA!” Ryne yelled as he witnessed the large chunk of rock get as high as it could before slowly coming back down to earth. For reasons that were unknown to Ryne at the time, his body acted on his own in the form of him arching himself back and spreading his wings. Without even thinking about it, he flew as fast as he could towards it with arms spread over his head.
Like before, everything happened so quickly that his brain didn’t have time to register what was going on, but now Ryne soon found himself, inexplicably, almost as high up in the sky as the mountains so quickly, his eyes couldn't even keep up.
Now, Ryne considered himself a decent enough flyer. He could probably fly from Ponyville to Cloudsdale in less than a half hour, but he was no Rainbow Dash, which is why he was so surprised that he went from on the ground to 1000 feet in the air in less than a second. If some other pony were watching, they would be forgiven for thinking he had just teleported, but that wasn’t the case. Ryne had in fact flown up on nothing but his own gumption.
This wasn’t what surprised him the most however. What really got Ryne shaking in his Swiss cheese feet was the fact that, in his hooves, he was now carrying the large boulder he had moments ago sent flying into the sky. Ryne could see that he was holding it, but his brain couldn't make the logical connection. It was at least twenty times his size and weighed well over two tons, but he was holding it like it was nothing.
This, coupled with his apparent super speed, was enough of a shock that he yelped and quickly let go of boulder like it was a piece of white hot coal in his hooves. As it tumbled back down earth Ryne just stayed where he was, hovering in mid-air trying to make sense of what was happening to him.
“How... how is this possible.” He thought. With terrified eyes, he looked down at his own hooves, which didn't have a scratch on them. As his mind began to wonder, he heard something resembling someone crying.
Looking past his hooves, he saw what was causing it. Back down in the field, there was a rabbit napping on the ground while another rabbit was anxiously trying to get him to wake up. How Ryne even saw or heard them from such a high up altitude he didn't know, but he began to realize what the other rabbit was so worried about. At that moment, the very same boulder that Ryne had dropped was heading towards them.
“Shit!” Thought Ryne as he quickly acted on instincts yet again. Flying at a slight angle, Ryne nose dived back towards solid ground at the spot where the one rabbit was still obviously asleep. Like before, he got there in less then it took to even think, only this time the results were very different. He managed to grab both rabbits in his hooves with ease, but in the process he landed on solid ground with such force that he created what could only be described as a crater, only instead of a comet from space, Ryne had caused it.
The crater was about a 100 feet in radius, and was deep enough that he could just barely see over the edge, but that wasn’t the only result of his ground pound. In addition a small tremor was released into the earth causing all manner of animals in the area to scurry off in shock.
Rather than wasting any time pondering the consequences of his actions or staring idly into nothingness, Ryne quickly addressed the two small animals currently in his hooves.
“Are you guys alright!” He asked. The one rabbit that was asleep was now awake and trembling while the other looked like he was trying to tell him something through hand gestures. “W-whats wrong?”
Clearly annoyed, the one rabbit slapped Ryne across the face and pointed upwards just above his head. Following his paw, he saw what he was so worried about. In his hubris, Ryne had completely forgotten about the boulder that was still falling directly towards him.
It was no less than fifteen feet away and getting closer at a faster rate. For a moment, all Ryne could do was stare at it’s enclosing mass like a deer caught in someone’s headlights. The sound (and the pain of being once again being slapped across the face) of the rabbit trying to get his attention snapped him out of his trance, but he was too frightened to move. So he did what he thought was a good idea at the time, he quickly tucked the two scared mammals under his stomach and ducked his head in anticipation.
The way he saw it, he was the cause of this impending doom, so he had to do whatever it took to make sure no one got hurt. With gritted teeth and clenched eyes, he waited for the inevitable to happen. Soon after, there was a sound like something smashing against a hard surface. The sound was so close to Ryne that his ears slightly rang as a result, but oddly enough, he felt nothing.
Something was off. After a full minute had passed, a very confused Ryne lifted his head to see what had happened. He was still alive, but the boulder should have, and by the sound of it, had already made contact long ago.
He looked up at the sight of dozens of wildlife critters starting at him. Tentatively, he looked to his left and there he saw the boulder laying on the ground just a few inches away.
“Phew!” Ryne sighed as he wiped the sweat of his brow. “That was close.”
With an expression of relief on his face, he looked back down the pair of animals he risked his life for. Both of them shared the same look of disbelief as the other animals surrounding the crater. The more abusive one then lifted his paw and directed Ryne to look to his right. He did so whereupon he saw the same boulder again only a few inches away.
It took him awhile, but Ryne finally put two and two together. The Boulder didn’t miss him, in fact, it had directly landed on him, and as a result, was split in two by his newly fortified exoskeleton which apparently, with the help of his new energy, now had the properties of diamond. This made Ryne drop his two bunny friends as he had now lost the feeling in his limbs. He didn’t even feel the giant rock crack against his body, and yet, there it was, split perfectly down the middle like it was nothing.
Ever since he left the human world, Ryne had a lot to think about, and thanks to this little experiment of his, he had even more on his plate to consider.
“So this is it?” Ryne asked himself. “This is what Chrysalis tried so desperately to obtain.”
From where he sat, Ryne looked all around him at the evidence of his new power. The tree which was no longer rooted into the ground, but was now a pile of scrap wood. The crack on the side of the mountain. The crater just beneath his feet, which had made all nearby debris fly away, and of course the boulder which was no longer partially buried underground, but was now cut in half.
Again, Ryne looked down at his hooves and came to the conclusion that yes, yes this was all him, and that yes, this was because of the love he had unknowingly consumed while on the Daily Show. The love and power of billions of humans and ponies were now circulating in his system, and even with this impressive display of strength, he hadn’t even used a fraction of a percent of it all.
“Wow.” Ryne said as he lowered his hooves and looked up into the skies. “Well... at least I don’t have to go to strip clubs anymore.”
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Episode 16: Ryne, the Changeling, on the Daily Show
Interview: Please welcome to the show Ryne the Changeling
The Daily Show Interview transcript archive:
Series: Equestrian interviews
Interviewer: Jon Stewart
Guest: Ryne the Changeling (DJ Pygmalion)
Date: ???
Location: Daily Show headquarters
733 11th Avenue Manhattan, NY 10019
THIS IS THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
Every time someone from Equestria was to be interviewed by Jon on his show, he found that, for the most part, he wasn’t the one who spent the most time with them. In actuality he would, on average, only interact with them for about thirty minutes while his staff and crew would prep them backstage for hours, and it was during these behind-the-scenes interactions that the Daily Show employee’s learned just as much about the guest as Jon did on stage, if not more.
For example: It was only while getting Ryne ready for his debut appearances did the good people at Daily Show headquarters learn about the redundancy of having a makeup department filled with Cosmetology professionals when dealing with someone who can change their appearance.
At first, one woman proposed the idea of covering Ryne’s entire body with a type of cream that would make his black exterior easier to see on camera. A valid idea until he carefully explained to them that this wouldn’t be necessary since he would be in his DJ Pygmalion form for the entire interview. That, and even if he did want to go on TV in his Changeling state, he could just simply change the tone of his body like a chameleon.
The second needless application on the part of the staff was when a group of college interns suggested that some work should be done on his face, as it still showed signs of bruises and cuts from when he and Jon had met.
After explaining that it was all a misunderstanding, Ryne then proceeded to use his unique magic ability to give the appearance that his face was in fact untarnished. The blemishes were still present, but no one could see them, rendering any further input on the makeup girls entirely pointless.
So, for the remainder of the time that would have been spent delicately applying makeup, was instead used by various Daily Show crew members requesting that Ryne change to look like their favorite celebrities or cartoon characters, only to have their suggestions politely declined.
While this was going on, Jon was busy with his own form of pre-show preparations. For the majority of the time leading up to an actual tapping or airing, he would either work out some last minute ideas with his writers or, if the script was just right, do some rehearsals on the stage while the cameras were off.
This time however, he was held up in his office while a desperate Celestia pleaded for him to reconsider his stance of having a Changeling on the Show. She begged him to allow Ryne’s extraction and tried to convince him that this was a huge mistake and that he was way over his head. But like with congress, Republicans, and his wife after the time he suggested a new position, Jon would not negotiate, compromise, or give in.
Although she was adamantly against the idea, she respected Jon enough to not take away his guest from his own world without his direct approval. After she exhausted every possible excuse for not having Ryne on the show, Jon carefully explained his plan to her... this in turn only made her dislike the idea even more and rehash every point she had previously made, only now with a louder voice.
Jon carefully, though insistently, explained to Celestia what was going to happen, what he was expecting to happen afterwards, and, most importantly, why he was doing it in the first place. It wasn’t until Jon explained the “why” portion of his plan did she finally give up trying to convince him otherwise and gave him her blessings. With their friendship still intact, and a royal guarantee of what would happen after the show, the two of them went about their business.
To be honest, for all his defending and grandstanding of his own idea, Jon was still unsure if what he was doing was entirely on the level. Sure, in his mind, he knew what he was doing was in just cause, but his gut still turned over the idea. It wasn’t until he thought about another pony he had on his show... a pony who was also misunderstood and was currently waiting for him back in Equestria, did Jon throw away any assemblance of doubt into the darkest corners of his mind.
Even with Jon’s previous announcement over twitter that tonight’s interview wouldn't be Equestrian, live, or filmed, quite a few people showed up outside the building anyways. Most of them were unaware of the show’s scheduling, or it’s now rescheduled slot appearance, and were then granted entry out of sheer dumb luck.
This meant that the sound of people chanting, yelling, and applauding was heard throughout most of the building as the camera zoomed in on Jon after the opening segment to the sound of music and the announcer assuring those who were to watch this later on that this was indeed “The Daily Show.”
And it was this same level of enthusiasm that also greeted Jon when that very same camera did it’s usual sweep before zooming in on him after the second commercial break ended, meaning that what came next was the main event.
“Hey Welcome back to the Daily Show my Guest tonight.” Jon struggled to yell over the crowd. “He is a musician from Equestria and a shape shifter from the colony of Changelings.”
Youtube Video
“I bet our guy was the one on the left.” Jon joked, after pretending to be awoken from his trance. Please welcome to the show DJ Pygmalion, also known as Ryne the Changeling.”
The camera did it’s usual transition to the side of the stage where it took a good few seconds before someone emerged from behind the scenes. Eventually though, a lone figure began to walk out into the light while the crowd cheered for things to get started alongside the sound of overhead music.
What the crowd saw was a Unicorn slowly and cautiously making it’s way to the main desk as if the stage was layered with hot coals. Jon wasn’t surprised to see that Ryne had decided to come out for his taped interview under his DJ persona, even after he had been outed. For now, though, he was content with letting him stay like this. For the most part, Ryne’s eyes were locked onto Jon as he made his way to the very center of the stage, but at one point, when he was a few feet away from the desk, he looked to the audience who were yelling at him. Not out of anger, but out of anticipation, which as a DJ he was no stranger to, but this time... felt different.
The cheering began to subside once Jon shook Ryne’s hoof and the two took their respective seats. Ryne himself didn’t think he’d actually get this far in his ‘plan’ to speak his mind about Changelings which made him briefly think that perhaps this was all just some kind of dream. The sound of Jon’s opening snapped him out of whatever euphoric trance which had brought him up to this point.
“Thank you very much for being here, Mr. Pygmalion.” Jon said as he sat down and motioned for his guest to do the same. “Now just so the, uh... the, uh, audience at home can... can, can, can get an idea of what we’re dealing with here... That’s not your... your real name and this isn’t your real form... is it?”
“Err... no it isn’t, M-m-mister Stewart, uh, Jon, I mean, if you prefer-” Ryne struggled since he assumed that Jon wouldn't bring up this point so soon. With a sigh, he stopped to catch his breath and glance over at the bewildered audience as Jon just stared at him. “Umm... w-was that my cue?”
The members of the audience who weren’t still fixated on what Jon has hinted at laughed at the guest’s awkward demeanor.
“So help me god. Ryne, if you mess this up, I will have both you and me go backstage and start all over again if I have to!” Jon teased in a tone he thought wasn’t too serious sounding.
“Alright, alright!” Ryne pleaded as his face tensed up, causing the hidden bruises suffered at the hands of Jon to burn.
“Honestly though, don’t worry... you’re doing fine” Jon assured him as he straightened his suit and sat up tall. “And since we’re in the business of changing names, here and there, I uh, am no longer Jon Stewart. You may call me Han Solo.”
“Hand-sir-what-now?” Ryne asked with a confused look about him.
“Han... Han Solo... you know: George Lucas, Empire strikes back, New Hope?” Jon listed which still got him a look of confusion. Jon would have continued to give examples, but doing so would have been as productive as talking to a brick wall. “...Ryne... you do know what ‘Star Wars’ is... right?”
“Umm... well... I... ” Ryne mumbled as he tried his best to conjure all the knowledge he had ever absorbed by watching programs from the human world, which, considering signal strength and his not owning of a TV, meant it wasn’t very much. Even still, he didn’t want to disappoint so he tried his best. “I mean s-sure I know who Han Solo is! He's uh... he's... isn't he that guy from the mesothelioma commercials?"
“Get the hell off of my stage.” Jon sneered in an obviously fake tone which got him nothing but laughter from the audience and a blush out of his guest. It was only after the room became quiet again did Jon return to his previous topic point. “In uh... in all seriousness though... the reason I wanted you... here today is because I want to talk with the real you... I know this is sort of a taboo thing for uh... for the-- for your species, but could you show the folks at home... who you really are?”
The idea of outing himself to millions upon millions of complete strangers, and indeed everyone he knew back home, was a scenario that Ryne never even considered when he first thought about smuggling himself into Jon’s world. Since the day he left the colony, he always had the mentality of making sure no one ever found out he was in fact one of Chrysalis’ children.
That mentality still followed him even now so in a cynical attempt to avoid this, he decided to stall for time by any means necessary.
“W-well, I’m not a stripper, Jon.” Ryne blurted with shifty eyes. “I-I can’t just start flashing a crowd the instant you tell me to.”
“Okay... there are two points in your last statement that I feel needs to, uh, be addressed... One: I think it’s adorable that you assume anyone, besides stoners and nerdy political science majors, actually watch this show... ” Jon listed as he held a single finger in the air. “And two... Oh my god, there are strippers in Equestria!” This hitherto unknown piece of information was just enough for Jon to momentarily forget about what he was trying to accomplish and instead take notice while the crowd cheered and hooted.
“Y-yeah well... Okay look, have you ever wanted to see what Tartarus is like?” Ryne asked with a now serious face and tone that could’ve only been created from experience. “Go to an Equestrian night club. I mean... w-we’re all technically naked, so it takes a certain level of crazy to... raise a few brows back home.”
“What I want to know is-- I mean, you seem to be pretty well versed in the ins and outs with these types of establishments.” Jon hinted with a raised eyebrow and change in pitch as he pressed his finger against his lips. “Mind sharing with the rest of the class how you, you, you know of such things.”
“As much as I don’t want to say, I started off DJing at a... rather provocative outing, where positive emotions... are in excess.” Ryne admitted as he cringed to himself. “And I couldn't exactly go up to somepony and say ‘Hey, mind letting me possibly sucking all the happiness out of your life?’
“As a native, I should point out that you might be surprised at how many women in this city would fall for that line.” Jon joked getting a quick laugh from the audience.
“What I’m trying to say is, it wasn’t a good place to be known for your music, but... starvation wasn’t an option for me.” Ryne continued “When you’re starting off life as an insectoid shape-shifter that subsists on emotion, you don’t have that much options.”
“AHA! So you ARE a Changeling!” Jon pointed his finger and yelled causing his guest to flinch. With his own plan backfiring, Ryne was now left with a gaping mouth and restless legs.
“You, uh... you really get to the point about these types of things, don’t you?” Ryne pursed his lips as he rubbed the back of his head.
“I’ll remind you, we only have like five to seven minutes here.” Jon coughed as he pointed to an imaginary watch on his wrist.
“W-well... If you say so... ” Ryne sighed as he closed his eyes to concentrate. The audience had long since navigated themsevles to the edge of their seats before a bright teal burst of light flashed over Ryne, immediately transforming him into the creature of black tone and sharp fangs, otherwise known as a Changeling.
The process was so quick that the crowd didn’t even have time to register it. So, for a few moments, they were left too shocked to say anything. Even Ryne himself was surprised he actually did what he did. Also, since this interview would eventually be aired for the world to see, this was also the first time he revealed himself to those he knew back home. Rather than feeling relieved for coming clean, being in his Changeling form just made him feel dirty.
“So... hope you’re satisfied. I’m... myself now.” Ryne gulped as he waited for the sound of the men and women present in the building to start audibly expressing their disgust, but to his surprise... it never happened.
Ryne’s attention was now seized by the sound of humans jumping to their feet and shouting as loudly as they could, as if doing so would give them free money. Seeing an actual shape shifter was not something every human could say they’ve experienced seeing so, to see him effortlessly change his appearance was enough for them to cheer him on, begging for more. This acceptance caught Ryne by surprise; about the only thing he could do was stare confused as to why they weren’t horrified by him.
Once the crowd’s cheering began to dissipate at the request of Jon who was motioning for them to settle down, the interview continued.
“You know what, now... that I’ve given it some thought.” Jon said as he leaned back in his chair. “...I like your other look better.”
Again, the audience began to audibly express themselves, only this time by laughing at Ryne who was still too shocked by all that was occurring to say anything himself.
“So, this is your real form?” Jon asked and continued before getting a response. “I must say the difference between the two is... is amazing and... so can you-- so you can change your appearance to look... like anyone?”
His question was met with more uncertainty on Ryne’s part who had remained silent for awhile now. Jon tilting his head in anticipation caused him to speak.
“Oh, uh, YES!” Ryne blurted as he adjusted himself in his seat and stretched his wings. “I-I-If I get a good enough look at them... Yes, I could look like anypony.”
“Okay... okay... so when you say... anypony ... that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re limited to just your own species right?” Jon ventured with a deviant look about him. “I mean if you wanted to, to, to I bet you could look like anyone... anyone .”
“You’re not thinking of... doing something with that, are you?” Ryne asked, feeling now slightly uncomfortable.
“Nooooo, no, no, no, of course not.” Jon assured him with an overly innocent smile. “I’m just saying I’m sure a talented young man like yourself could easily make himself look... look like any random old Jewish television host long enough to distract his wife while he sneaks around back and gets a reuben sandwich from the corner deli with a side of steak fries and a large pint of beer because damnit I’m hungry and can’t keep eating soy bread and lactose milk all my life... I mean you could do that... right?”
“I-I’m sure I could... but I’m also sure that your- I mean, that the wife of that certain host of a certain mildly politically correct comedy show wouldn’t take it too kindly... hypothetically speaking, of course.” Ryne answered.
“YOU HEAR THAT LARRY KING? YOU’RE ON THIN ICE! ” Jon yelled at the camera while the audience laughed at the duo on stage. “So... while we’re still on the topic... I... wh-what... what made you decide to go for the look you were sporting... I mean back when you first arrived on stage... and in my office, with the orange hair and grey coat... tell us why go for that look?”
“Well, back when--” Ryne said before getting cut off.
“Because if I were you I’d make myself look like fanciest pony to ever exist.” Jon interrupted while making wild hand gestures. “I’m talking about golden hair... long legs... shiny tail, and a horn twice the size of my body... I assume that’s what all ponies want to look like.”
After the crowd was done laughing, Jon gave Ryne the alright to continue his explanation.
“Well, back when I was a Grubling, and I was starting off in this world... well, I was usually taught to look like the most mundane pony that would have ever existed. It's actually a tricky situation with Changelings. You can't be too fancy or else you'll attract to much attention, you'll risk getting caught.” Ryne explained. “Anyway... well, let’s just say that even Changelings go through that ‘rebellious’ phase, and next thing I knew, I went with what... I felt natural with it. I was myself, for once. It just so happened to look all too natural to what my future career would be... ”
“Now I learned... through a friend that all Changelings were once normal ponies... but then they got corrupted by dark magic... that altered both their physical appearances as well as their minds... right?” Jon asked.
“Eh, in laypony’s terms, yeah.” Ryne admitted before tilting his head to the sky.
“But then there’s you... you were-- you’re a rare subset of Changelings that actually didn’t lose their minds and got to retain your humanity” Jon continued, now wanting to get serious for a moment. “So, why didn’t you just make yourself look like... how you were BEFORE the corruption?”
“Because that life... is behind me now. The life of a Changeling before they actually became a changeling is a thing of the past, and while I sincerely hope that one day that will change, it can never be retained... so by... reinventing myself with this new image, I’m moving forward with my life.” Ryne expressed, causing everyone in the room to reexamine their own lives and try to imagine what it would be like to have their identity stolen from them permanently. “Also I... I always DID want an orange mane.”
With the levity now back and stronger than ever, both the audience and Jon broke into laughter, giving the guest of the night enough time to tilt his head forward and take a sip from his mug of water. After some time had passed, Jon continued to speak in between the occasional left over chuckle.
“But in terms of... of the here and now... right now you’re a Changeling, which I mean now, uh you... you don't exactly go around looking the way you actually are... and for a good reason... why... why do you feel the need to go-- to hide your real identity the way you do?” Jon asked, almost disappointed that he had the bring the flow of the interview back to a serious mood.
“Well, like I said before, with the basic mainstream belief that others have, of Changelings being ‘evil emotional vamponies’, it’s not exactly easy to get a meal for yourself, or do what you love, like your hobbies.” Ryne expressed. “Especially considering my race’s tendency to gain sustenance at all costs.”
“Okay, now bear in mind that we--th-that there some who watch this show that might not understand what we’re talking about.” Jon explained as he motioned to the cameras. “Could you please elaborate for those watching... the means by which a Changeling... basically feeds and... and, and, and generally stays alive?"
“Changelings... are pretty much what ponies make us out to be.” Ryne began as he occasionally looked directly at the camera. “We disguise ourselves, hence our namesake, to get close to ponies, gryphons, et cetera, and basically consume the love their family, life partner, or friend has for them, in their place... and that love... is sustenance for us.”
“I see... now this parasitic existence of, uh... of a Changeling, I just assumed... like many others, would-- is the universally accepted medium of attaining love for you guys.” Jon admitted. “But... but with you, I’m now forced to call that into question, I mean... I mean this image of Changelings lurking around at night looking for victims... how much of that applies to, say, someone like you?”
“Well, for somepony like me, it hardly applies... anymore.” Ryne corrected as the audience leaned in. “I consider myself, really, one of the lucky ones, as I’m one of the few of my race that has found less forceful methods of getting a meal, thankfully. I’m not sure if I’d revealed this before, b-but I’m sure you know of my hobby-turned-occupation for creating music?”
“That’s... that’s right! You’re a DJ.” Jon reminded himself as he leaned in and make gestures with his hand against the table. “Tell me and be honest... assuming for a moment... that I had no idea you were a Changeling... why should I have you on my show when I’ve already had two other musicians from your world as my guests... three, if you consider Zecora’s way of speaking to be freestylin.’”
“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I feel like Octy and Vin... don’t get me wrong, I love those two very much, we go way back... but I feel like they're kinda lacking ‘substance’ in their music.” Ryne said as he quickly started to regret it. "Believe me when I say, those two are great but... Vinyl, despite her hidden talents for music, prefers to overload the senses with random recordings. I mean, this one time back at the academy... she turned in for a project, worth our entire quarter grade, a song... composed of various modified sounds... of her... inner bowel movements. How she got a passing grade in Musical Theory, I’ll never know... ”
Despite only interviewing, and indeed knowing, Vinyl for a short period of time, this scenario was so on the nose, Jon nearly banged his head against the table as he leaned forward and laughed so hard, he felt as if he would pass out.
“But, Octavia understands melody and conducts her music appropriately.” Ryne continued. “She has a firm grasp on the concept of flow and can really adjust her music to fit any occasion... her dexterity is beyond impressive and her cultural understanding of the arts makes her a true musician among ponies.”
“Buuuut?” Jon asked with a raised eyebrow.
“But... she can be kind of stuck-up at times.” Ryne added. Again, right on the nose.
“Stu... stuck up how?” Jon giggled
“Well... She despises eccentric innovation, and only concentrates on the norm.” Ryne explained. “About the only thing different she ever did was... Vinyl."
“Well, what about you ?” Jon asked. “Is your style of music more refined, or do you also experiment with what can be done?”
“Well, both Vinyl and Octavia sort of influenced me to go my own route. My constant exposure to Vinyl’s... music during our school days left me traumatized, and I never could find the poetic calmness that Octavia found in classical.” Ryne explained, now more comfortable talking since it was about his own element. “So I tend to deviate towards my own tastes, a mix of the styles of glitch hop and electrohouse, and maybe some classical instrumentals just to see. Back in the day, there would be rants from Octavia on how both Vinyl and I waste our time making ‘noise’. So, yeah, I tend to experiment, and see what flows.”
“You’re not alone you know.” Jon revealed with an understanding nod of the head. “A lot of people experiment in college... like me, but I just ended up using... certain recreational... opiates, if you will, that would have made me really appreciate your type of music.”
“Heh, you don’t really seem like the type, Jon... of either of them, really.” Ryne chuckled.
“You say that now, but fun fact... I’m actually 30.” Jon joked as he rubbed his face. “And besides, why am I talking to YOU of all people about age... you’re a Changeling... y-y-your type can’t die as long as you have love plus, can’t you just make yourself LOOK younger than you actually are?”
“And how do you know that I’m not faking my age right now?” Ryne asked with a tilt of the head and a half smile.
“Really? Your name is DJ Pygmalion... you compose music that’s called ‘electrohouse,’ you’ve worked at strip clubs, and you carry a pair of headphones wherever you go,” Jon surmised in a placid tone. “You-- either you’re a young man with a lot of time on your hands, or you’re, you’re, you’re going through one HELL of a mid-life crisis.”
Ryne’s attempt to get the upper hand was once again thrown in his face by the more experienced Jon Stewart. Feeling that too much time was spent on him, he decided to try again to change the subject.
“Well, enough about me. What about you?” Ryne asked as he pointed his hoof with many holes at him. “You were almost president!”
“Excuse me?” Jon asked.
“Well, I watched your debate last year with that, what was that guy’s name? O’Malley? O’Reilly? Yeah, him!” Ryne Blurted. “I understand that your country’s leaders usually do debates like that, but I’m so sorry that you lost the election though... ”
It took Jon a moment to realize what his guest was referring to. It would seem that he had confused the mock-interview he had with Bill O'Reilly last year as the real McCoy. On reflection, a very easy mistake to make since the channels that Equestrians got from Earth was extremely limited, like their knowledge of human culture.
“Actually Ryne, there seems to be some confusion, you see... That guys name is Bill... Bill O’Reilly and he’s...” Jon stopped himself mid-sentence as a thought crossed his mind. According to the bean counters at Comedy Central the most watched interviews are the ones where Jon played on the ignorance of his Equestrian guests. It was a very easy thing to do and a cheap way to get funny results... Jon still found too much joy to be had in it. “He’s ...he’s a formidable foe I will say that... sadly, my run as president didn’t go as planned, but in the end, we came to an agreement.”
“And that agreement was?” Ryne wondered out loud.
“A very old, but still involving traditional that’s been practiced in American politics since the founding of our nation.” Jon explained as he placed a hand over his heart. “He got to be president and, for one night, we got to trade wives.”
“...I don’t know what to say.” Ryne said.
“Oh, and the perks don’t stop there!” Jon continued as a shocked Ryne looked on. “In addition to Bill’s wife, if America ever suffers from another civil war or some kind of nuclear apocalypse, I get Iowa.”
“By Celestia’s name... and they call Changelings heartless.” Ryne chuckled as he slowly started to see through his prank. “Well, at least you got some good pieces of land out of the deal.”
“Yeah, and getting Iowa wasn’t too bad either BOOM !” Jon roared as he pumped his fist. “BOOM !”
“...Why do I get the feeling that everything you’re telling me isn’t as straight as you make it out to be?” Ryne asked as he rolled his eyes which, since he had no pupils, just looked like he slightly tilted his head back and forth.
“I’ll have you know, everything I’ve said is the truth or my name isn’t Han Solo!” Jon said, only to get a look of disbelief from his guest. “Oh what, you don’t believe me?”
“Oh... it’s just a feeling I have.” Ryne insisted as he looked behind him to see many a Daily Show employee’s chuckling to themselves.
“Ooooh, so you think I’m deceiving you!?” Jon announced as he lifted a finger in the air. “You feel like... I’m, for lack of a better term, masking my true intentions... why it’s almost as if I’m putting on a, a, a disguise and made it seem like I’m someone I’m not through a clever ruse... but yeah, I’m sure you know nothing about what that feels like.”
Ryne didn’t respond, but instead glared at Jon. He wasn’t mad at him for what he said, no he was just concentrating on ever so slightly changing his appearance of his face. Keeping it at it’s usual black tone as to not reveal that he was blushing. The void that was left by his silence was instead filled by the crowd laughing.
“Now, going to the person in the room who isn’t half a century old... uh... um, what-- we know that your style of music was first inspired by your friendship with Octavia and Vinyl... but what made you want to pursue music in the first place?” Jon asked as Ryne took a deep breath.
“Well... I’ll have to answer that question with another question.” Ryne warned him before continuing. “Ever been in a Hive before?”
“Isn't 'Hive' the name of the new strip club down in the lower east side?” Jon asked, almost sounding too serious.
“Err... maybe I should elaborate. What really inspired me is the ambiance that you hear when you walk right into a Changeling Hive. Your whole entire life, you don’t have a single moment of silence to yourself, really. All you hear is this solid block of... ’noise’.” Ryne explained to Jon who, living in New York, knew the feeling. “Sometimes, it shifted into a rhythm or pattern, or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it randomly changed in pitch or tone. And the short amount of time I spent in a Hive, that was possibly one of the defining moments of my life. Just listening to the sheer noise... and really, I try to replicate it with my own music.”
“It... almost sounds like you... have fond memories of your time in the colony.” Jon carefully worded.
“Heh, a single good memory from only a bright few... but the colony did make me what I am today, so I guess that sometimes, misery actually turns into opportunity.” Ryne admitted with a guilty smile.
“You know, I’m not entirely sure it’s a point in your favor... to be comparing your music to the sound of the inside of an insect’s hive.” Jon joked.
Jon’s own version of endless noise in rhythm came in the form of the audience once again laughing at a now embarrassed Ryne.
“Although I find-- It’s almost poetic... in an ironic sense, to think that the sounds you heard in the hive were... were in a sense beautiful enough for you to leave.” Jon added. “Have you-- I know now you’re on your own and live among the ponies in Celestia’s kingdom, but do you ever visit your old hive... like maybe on holiday or something like like: ‘Hey Frank long time no see! How’s the the 80 identical children? Ah that’s great!’”
“Well, I could go back anytime I want... it’s just that my hive’s welcome wouldn’t be as genial as what you described.” Ryne said after a nervous cough.
“I know what you mean.” Jon acknowledged. “Family reunions can be a real pain in the ass.”
“The feeling’s mutual, Jon.” Ryne went on. “Though, I don’t think your family members would have the gall to tear you apart limb from limb.”
“You’ve never met my grandma.” Jon said before forcing out a shiver. “Now of course, as we all know you had... you left the colony to be a musician... and from what you’ve told us here today, a pretty successful one... so I’m sure... you’ve got a crazy story or two for... w-wha... what would you say... uh, is your most interesting... experience as a DJ?”
“I d-don’t know really... I mean, the shows that I go to are... tame, compared to Vinyl’s, where you can basically get a ‘third-hoof high’ from just staying in the same room as her events.” Ryne explained.
“Third-hoof high?” Jon asked.
“It’s... sorta hard to explain. Sometimes when unicorns hop themselves up, or get exposed to otherponies on... stimulants, they tend to lose control of their magic, and basically ‘influence’ their environment to be as... mellow as they are, I suppose.” Ryne said as he recalled the last time he DJ'd for party in a club. “Ever wonder why sometimes Vinyl wears a gas-mask in concerts? It’s not just because it’s a dubtrot fad.”
There were so many things Jon wanted to ask, but for the sake of the flow let them slide.
“Now... as a DJ... I mean here in the human world, we hold our performers to certain standards... in order to ascertain whether or not they are true musicians... I’d like to see if you fit the profile that we have established here... do you mind?” Jon asked.
“It’s not a problem.” Ryne commented, now very curious.
“Of the following... have you ever gotten in trouble for: domestic violence, drug possession, destruction of public property, drunk driving, falling in love with a stripper, having 99 problems, punching a hooker, hiring a hooker, being a hooker, or for some reason never taking your sunglasses off while indoors?”
“Jon, I assure you that my record’s clean, and that I’m not a criminal.” Ryne proudly confessed. “Or the type of pony with shades super glued to their eyes... sorry Vinyl.”
“Well then, better luck next year at the Grammys.” Jon expressed while dismissively arching his hand.
“These... ‘Grammy’s’ are awards of acclaim here, yes?” Ryne asked. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for that type of recognition... I mean Sapphire Shores can probably get one of these... ‘Grammy’s’ before I do... ”
“Sapphire who now?” Jon asked. “Who’s that... sounds like a shampoo my wife once tried to get me to use.”
“She’s a popular mainstream pop singer back in Equestria... she’s not known for using her authentic voice during her performances, if you know what I mean.” Ryne snickered.
“Nope... can’t say I’ve ever heard of her... I mean... the name sounds familiar... but... say actually... Hey Ryne buddy... mind doing your old pal Johnny a favor?” Jon asked with an innocent smile.
“Sure, man. I’d give you one of my kidneys if you needed one... well, at least I think I have a kidney.” Ryne said as he took a second to look at his own stomach. “It’s the least I can do for letting me be on your show.”
“Greeeeaaat... so you’ve... seen this... Sapphire Shores right?” Jon asked as he reached over to grab his hoof. “I mean you do know what she looks like and stuff... right?”
“...She’s a pop culture symbol. Sure, everypony knows what she looks like.” Ryne answered as he took back his hoof.
“Well... could you... I mean for me... could you please make yourself look like her.” Jon asked with a smile.
“What!?” Ryne exclaimed as his eyes lit up and he almost jumped out of his seat.
“Just for a second! I just want to see what she looks like and stuff... you know... in case I ever meet her.” Jon assured him.
“You know what? You can have that kidney now. Literally, right now. Just rip it right out.” Ryne blurted. “I’d rather be missing an organ than risk getting sued by Sapphire’s legal team.”
“Oh well, that’s too bad... because I’m sure everyone here was sooooooo looking forward to see you transform again... right guys” Jon announced to the those watching in the bleachers.
The old tactic of having one’s audience peer pressure someone into doing what you wanted is a host's tactic as old as time itself... and it works.
“Oh, fine.” Ryne moaned as he looked to the audience then back at Jon. “But only for a moment!”
“Exactly! Just for a moment!” Jon agreed.
“...I swear, if I get in a lawsuit because of this... ” Ryne complained right before the same bright burst of magic as before engulfed his body.
When everything was set and done, Jon was no longer looking at Ryne, but instead a new pony that looked absolutely nothing his guest. This new pony was, instead of black, cream colored and had an outfit on that was so complex and fanciful, a new word would’ve probably needed to be invented to adequately describe it.
Her mane, as the name suggested, was sapphire colored as was her tail. Her eyes were a light sunset yellow which contrasted with the purple makeup on her eyelids. These two colors could also be seen on her dress which came complete with matching shoes and a stylish, if tiny, top hat.
About the only thing about this pony that was even remotely similar to Jon’s guest was the look about her which was the same as Ryne’s; slightly annoyed.
“Wow” Jon said, still shocked by this sudden transformation. “So... so this is Sapphire Shores, huh... and you said she’s famous, right?”
“Yes... extremely.” Ryne bluntly said as he lifted his head to stretch his neck. “And she sounds a little bit like this, honey!”
The surprises continued as Ryne changed the tone of his voice to what could only be described as that of a sassy black woman.
“Oh god!” Jon exclaimed as he began to laugh and wave his hand like he was begging for him to stop. “Do... do me a favor... could ya... could ya just hold that pose for a second?”
“Err... if you insist... but I hope you know how uncomfortable this makes me.” Ryne advised, still using his sapphire voice as he shifted in his seat.
“Don’t worry you’re pretty little head... just... stay... right... there !” Jon blurted as he turned to the camera and began to play with his notes. “Hey everyone welcome back to the Daily Show! I’m here with my Guest, Sapphire Shores, who has graciously come to the show today to talk about her new album! So Sapphire, how has the tour been treating ya?”
The crowd, which knew this was just a joke, played along by cheering and applauding beautifully in perfect time as if it was an actual opening to an episode. This coupled with Jon’s prank made Ryne sweat like a frozen water bottle.
“WAIT NO! Err... It’s... bl... umm... GAHHHHHH !” Ryne roared he he hastily changed to a different form, then another, and another, in a desperate act to look like anyone besides Sapphire Shores. “Wait, wait, wait wait!”
As Ryne pleaded for mercy, his voice constantly changed in pitch and tone as he cycled through disguise after disguise. In the course of about ten seconds, he went to about twenty different forms to the point where all his legs, head, mane, tail, ears, and body each belonged to a different person like some kind of adorable Frankenstein.
“Sapphire, please don’t sue me! I didn't mean it! I don't want to be in legal debt for the rest of my life!” Ryne pleaded as he finally calmed down long enough to revert back to his Changeling form.
The crowd was still laughing long after the comic effect of what happened had worn off. Mostly because, in his haste to revert to normal, Ryne had forgotten something.
“It’s alright Ryne calm down!” Jon pleaded as he pointed to his backside. “Also, I think you forgot something.
Looking behind him, Ryne now realized what was so funny... his tail was still that of Sapphire Shores. Something which a quick tail whip corrected.
“Wow... I never knew your power to transform was so good... hey do you... do you ever find... that-- do you ever find your being a Changeling had helped you as DJ?” Jon ventured after the crowds laughter had fully died down. “Like... you needed to get into a club so you changed to look like the owner... or maybe the fact that you’re technically being immortal has saved you from one too many extreme mosh pits... or... something?”
“Well, Jon, if I changed to become somepony else, than what would be the point of it all, really?” Ryne asked, still feeling slightly off about what he had just done. “If I really wanted to, I could have changed into a form of a billionaire, bought myself a private island somewhere in the Ambleantic Ocean, and lived there for the rest of my life. I’d rather be ‘me’, than anypony else. And other than having cup-holders for hooves, I haven’t found a place for my abilities in my work at all.”
There was a moment of silence before the audience gave Ryne a quick round of applause.
“Very admirable... but if it were me, you couldn't pay me enough money to not make myself look like someone else!” Jon commented “Or at the very least, make myself seem younger so my kids won't keep thinking I’m sick... but yeah, I’m surprised you don’t... I don’t know, indulge yourself a little... like perhaps, after a really good show, disguise yourself as a security guard so you can bypass all the raving fans... I mean like... do you even have groupies?”
“Err... I’m not exactly well-known enough to have those.” Ryne admitted.
“Yeah... me neither.” Jon sniffled.
“But that’s sort of the way I like it.” Ryne continued. “After a show, I get home without my privacy invaded enough for me to gorge on ice cream in peace. I mean... who else is gonna supply ponies with tasteful glitch hop?”
“I don’t know man, seems like a wasted opportunity... one can only imagine the freaky kinds of things that Changeling’s do with those holes in their legs.” Jon joked, unaware of how deep that particular rabbit hole was.
“What? So stallions get as creeped out as mares do whenever the word ‘Changeling’ is uttered?” Ryne submitted.
“I uh, I don't follow.” Jon stated.
“I’m not sure if anypony informed you, but... ermmm, you have no idea what you just implied, did you?” Ryne said.
“Enlighten me.” Jon took out a pen and paper.
“Well... I can’t say this on public television” Ryne advised as he took away Jon’s stationary. “But back in Equestria, normally when you mention i-in p-p-private a certain synonym of “Changelings”, well you see on the paper, you get one leg here... The other partner’s head there... wrap your tail around this mare’s hoof... and you basically stay like that for half an hour until you... ”
Jon watched as Ryne wrote down in detail exactly what “Changeling style” meant back in Equestria. Each new detail heralded by increasingly disturbing positions. Before he could finish however, Jon grabbed the piece of paper, crumpled it and threw it behind him with a blank expression.
“I’m never going back to Equestria.” Jon said, causing Ryne to laugh along with the audience. “How... for god’s sake. How do you even know about a sex position like that!”
“Celestia have mercy on me... Octavia’s going to murder me in my sleep for this... but you remember when I said that Vinny, Tavs, and I hung out together at our music school?” Ryne asked, instantly gaining Jon’s undivided attention, as well as those watching from the bleachers. “Well, Vinyl had the bright idea of sharing a single dorm to save up on cash for our tuition... and a new speaker system, which she still hasn’t paid back my share of bits that she owes me for it. So anyway, one day, during a hot summer, I was walking back to my dorm as innocently as a disguised Changeling could after having his brain roasted in an advanced rhythmic algorithm class, and I saw... Vinyl and Octavia... on MY bed... Well, you get the picture... AND DON’T EVEN ASK ME WHO WAS ON TOP! ”
Usually, the best interviews in Daily Show history are the ones where the guest is the one that makes Jon laugh rather than the other way around. By that logic, this one would be one of the best ever.
“Now... now speaking of those two... it’s because of Vinyl and Octavia that I was convinced in letting you come over.” Jon revealed. “Uh... it was-- I got a letter from them expressing how I should have you... here today and it was in that letter that she revealed something very interesting about you.”
“If she mentioned about that time I got drunk and was caught streaking across campus in my socks, then she’s lying and I was already acquitted of all charges!” A fluttered Ryne insisted.
“...No, I was going to say... actually, we’ll come back to that later... but actually, what I was going to say was... she told me the reason that you two-- I mean you, Vinyl, and Octavia became friends, is because you helped her fend off some bullies who were picking on Octavia.” Jon continued, his back arched to get the blood flowing again. “Mind giving us an idea of what happened?”
Hearing this caused Ryne to take notice. His ears, which were previously slumped, now sprung up and his jaw dropped for a second revealing his razor sharp teeth.
“Wait... they told you about that?” Ryne asked in a disbelieving tone, getting a nod in return. “Well... okay, it’s like any other stereotypical ‘how-I-met-my-lifelong friends’ stories, I’m afraid. It was a couple of days until our first term ended at our musical school, and it ju--”
“Oh god, please don’t tell me music schools in Equestria are anything like the ‘High School Musical’ movies.” Jon pleaded as he slapped his hand across his face. “Did you guys just like... just sta-start randomly singing and dancing everywhere?”
“Well... no... no we didn’t... the school we went to was a bit more serious than that.” Ryne affirmed.
“Thank god.” Jon expressed sighing a deep sigh and slumping slightly over his desk.
“But, but random acts of song and dance are actually quite common in my world” Ryne revealed, causing Jon to look up. “Why just the other day, Pinkie Pie went through an entire choreographed, thirty minute performance after she found her missing alligator.”
“Wait... WHAT !” Jon yelled, as the entirety of Ryne’s explanation just made no sense to him.
“But that’s not important... anyways, like I was saying... It was a couple of days until our first term ended at our musical school, and you know how ponies get. That relief, that freedom from the burden of educational establishments. It makes you... a bit wild. And, I found that out the hard way when I came across a couple of spoiled, upper-class unicorns pushing around Octavia in the courtyard.” Ryne continued as he tilted his head back and rubbed a hoof over his smooth face. “I mean, it was bad enough that she had to handle their constant verbal abuse that whole entire term because she was... different. As she probably mentioned, Earth ponies, back in the old days, were seen as common, and purely clumsy even when they obviously aren’t. And it was even more of a social taboo for Earth ponies to step up and play music skillfully enough to get into the Royal Canterlot Orchestra.”
“I remember her mentioning that.” Jon quickly added as he played with his pen in his fingers. “She talked about how she had to overcome... a lot of... misconceptions about her species.”
“Yes, and normally, I stay away from any situation that might attract attention to myself, but I felt... I don’t know, drawn to help her. If you’ve ever felt truly... different, enough that you feel yourself sticking out from the middle of a crowd or separate from other ponies then... well, I guess that’s what made me help her.” Ryne continued as he twiddled his hooves against the desk nervously. “I felt personally obligated to help her, even though I didn’t know her and she could have handled the situation herself... I could've let myself trot away from the scene, but I never thought it was fair that an individual can be subjected to so much suffering just because they’re ‘different’. Why? Well, because pretending I was somepony else... somepony normal... was just a fact of life for me, and it’s incredibly unfair that anypony else, whether they be Changeling, Unicorn, Pegasus or what have you, can be denied that same level of comfort.”
“So... what ended up happening?” Jon asked after Ryne paused to collect his thoughts.
“Well... I intervened, and I got my flank hooved over to me, so you wouldn’t believe how long I had cracks in my chitin before I healed up properly... but at least Octy was safe for the time being. So, for a while, I was held up in my room because I was healing, but one day right before lunch, somepony bucked open my dorm door and barged right in.” Ryne said. “At first, I thought it was one of those high class Unicorns coming back for more, but as it turned out, it was Vinyl. She found out about what happened, and for some reason, I thought she was mad at me because... I don’t know, maybe she didn’t like the fact that I was trying to get in good with your best marefriend like I was trying to take her away or something... anyway, when she came in my room Vinyl did something that both scared, and surprised me... she thanked me. And ever since that day, we became friends.”
“It seems that... it seems that your experience... as a Changeling has really shaped the way you act and think... almost as if it’s given you a new look on life.” Jon submitted as he made hand gestures with each word.
“In a surely messed up way... Yeah. It has.” Ryne admitted
“Now having said that... here is something I’ve been wondering about you.” Jon added.
“Which would be?” Ryne asked, wondering if this is the question he had been anticipating for a while now.
“To put it simply, it’s this... Ryne?” Jon asked.
“Yes?” Ryne responded.
“Do you... like... being a Changeling?” Jon finally asked.
“Ex... excuse me?” Ryne replied; this wasn’t what he was expecting.
“It’s a simple question. Since you have been blessed with the the gift of retaining your mind and thus have hindsight... do you like who you are... do you like the fact that you are a Changeling?” Jon repeated himself, now having his hand sprawled across his mouth quizzically.
This was a new one for Ryne. Up until now, no one knew he was a Changeling, so this question was never brought up. For someone to ask whether or not you liked being who you were was a deep enough inquiry into one’s soul, but what really got to Ryne was this was a question he never even asked himself.
“With... with the lifestyle that I presently have... I actually... I actually don’t mind it. I mean... It helped me become a better pony, really.” Ryne confessed as he stared at his reflection in the shiny surface of the Daily Show desk. “You know, enjoy what you have, and all that jazz. But what’s become apparent through recent events, like what happened in Canterlot or your show, is that us Changelings need help... We’ve let hunger drive us into desperation.”
“But aren’t these other Changelings... forgive me if I sound cynical here, but... couldn't one look at them as a lost cause?” Jon said trying his hardest not to sound too mean. “Like, you and-- we’ve discussed the spell... the uh, the corruption, warping their bodies AND their minds. So why help those who are--”
“I guess... I guess you could call me unreasonably stubborn, but the idea that ALL Changelings are a lost cause is one that I don’t quite agree with.” Ryne interrupted, now looking straight into Jon’s eyes. "Yes I'll admit most Changelings lost so much more than just their physical appearances... but aren't those the ones we should be helping the most?"
“In that case... I want to ask you something.” Jon asked as Ryne braced himself. “Now... I didn’t look for you nor did I have any knowledge of you before this show... you are the one that came to me... asking to be on my show... for the sake of promoting that Changeling’s... aren’t all bad... basically.”
“Yes... that’s... why I’m here.” Ryne admitted as he readied himself for what was to come.
“Well... I have to ask... Why risk it?” Jon said. “You, Ryne... you made it. You are a one-in-a-million Changeling who, not only retained his mind, but escaped the tyrannical rule of Queen Chrysalis... you’ve successfully made a name for yourself, with friends who love you... and you managed to do what some spend their entire life trying to find, and that’s a purpose in life... all the while avoiding the discrimination of others... so tell me... why... why would you risk aaaall of that, right here right now... for a group of pseudo-monsters who do nothing but give you a bad name and would probably hate you.”
And there it was; the question that Jon swore to Ryne he would ask him at some point during the show. When Jon finally asked it, it felt heavy on Ryne’s body like someone had dropped a boulder on top of him. For the amount of time leading up to the actual taped interview, Ryne had been mulling over this question over and over again in his head.
What really got to him was that Jon had a good point. Maybe not every Changeling is bad, but a majority of them most certainly are. Was it really worth it to try and save the already damaged image of a group of creatures who seem to have a real talent for self destruction? Ryne was just a simple musician, but even he didn’t have to think that long about his answer.
“If I had to die right this instant, on your show... I’d die happy... which isn’t fair when other Changelings don’t even remember what that is... I mean, not that many normal ponies would have enough satisfaction in their lives to say that. And yet... well, I still know that, out there somewhere in the Hive, there are Changelings that I vaguely remember to once have been my friends and family, and that frightens me.” Ryne confessed as he continued to look at Jon with large eyes. “I know us Changelings haven’t been the most... liked creatures out there, and for a good reason, but I still feel like there is hope for us... for all of us. There are others like me... others that have retained their memories and have tried to live better lives, but do so in hiding for fear of being discovered... and if there’s at least one Changeling who is unjustly being persecuted, then I will do my part to help them because... because it's the right thing to do. My thoughts of them drove me to do this, really. So to answer your question... even though we might not feel or think it, we were all ponies at one time in our lives. Maybe, like me, they remember who they once were, and maybe they don't. So here's my question: shouldn’t they all have an equal chance to prove themselves, like me? Don’t they deserve a life like mine? If they are ponies somewhere on the inside then shouldn't we try to help them?”
Everyone present in the room watched and listened to Ryne as he poured his guts out like a sinner in a confessional. Each and every one of them, as they listened, also contemplated if they themselves would have done the same thing.
“And since nopony else is helping them out, and their reputation is only getting worse, why shouldn’t it be me? Chrysalis, in her attempt to gain power, went too far beyond her moral boundaries with her plan.” Ryne continued. “I know what she did was despicable, but at the same time, so many ponies were talking about wanting to... wanting to get rid of us... and that’s just as bad. Then I realized since my lifestyle provided me with the perfect means to do something about it I... I-- So, I figured it was up to me... I couldn’t just stand aside and watch, I had to act. It's like you said in your interview with Princess Luna the other day... ’All that is necessary for evil to triumph--”
“... Is for good men to do nothing.’” Jon added followed by a pause. A pause which was soon shattered by the sound of the audience applauding and standing to their feet. Both Jon and the audience may not have known much about Equestrian history or culture, but they were a good judge of character and could spot a saint a mile away.
“Ryne... I must say... and say for one hundred percent certainty, that it has been an honor having you on the show.” Jon said as he pointed his finger at him. “And I wish you... and all the Changelings out there who have a fighting chance at a good life... the best of luck. And hope that one day... they may know peace.”
“Thanks Jon.” Ryne said, happy that he finally heard the thing he always wanted to hear.. “That really... really means a lot.”
“Listen, I would love to hear more about your experiences so would you mind sticking around for another five minutes and we’ll throw the rest up on the web?” Jon asked as he pointed to the camera.
“I would love to!” Ryne exclaimed as jumped on the table to grab Jon’s already stretched out hand. “Just... no more embarrassing questions about me, Vinyl, and Octavia, please.”
“I can’t promise that and you know it.” Jon chuckled as he swirled in his chair to face the camera and subsequently the audience as well. “Ryne the Changeling everyone! We’ll be right back!”
Like before, the crowd in attendance rushed to their feet to give their new favorite Martyr a proper send off in the form of cheering and applauding that was so deafening, he could barely hear Jon trying to communicate with him from across the table.
To remedy this, he jumped on the table and approached him before the camera began to ascend into the sky while Jon whispered something in Ryne’s ear. A few moments later the Daily Show logo blotted out the image by flying on the screen and leaving to give the next commercial break a chance to appear.
