Guiding the Shards

by Hawattie

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Dark
Length: 5282

An extra-dimensional spirit is accidentally summoned to Equestria. He does his best to turn this near-utopia into an actual utopia.

Equestria is a great place to live. One of the best, really. Near perfect even.
Some might say it's the closest thing you can get to a Utopia.

But it's not.
Hatred simmers, danger lurks, and ethics are sometimes thrown out the window.

Shard the summoned frost spirit seeks to change that. And he's willing to face monsters from the Everfree, hostile ambassadors from hostile nations, and even *shudder* the likes of Prince Blueblood to get what he wants.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-04 11:30:01 UTC

It Begins

“Ugh,” I groaned, “why does my head hurt?” On second thought, why does my everything hurt? Seriously, it feels like I got trampled by a horse. That’s not normal after being summoned. Did the summoner mess up the spell or something? Wouldn’t be the first time...

Not expecting a response to my complaints, the hyperactive, high-pitched voice who answered me came as a complete shock. “Maybe it’s because you just fell from like, a hundred feet up!” Ooh, that voice isn’t helping my headache. The voice continued, “why didn’t you catch yourself with your wings, silly?”

Well, if I’m going to be attacked with words, I might as well see who I’m talking to, right? Easing my eyes open, I could make out a rather large, rather pink blur obscuring the vast majority of my vision. A moment later, as my vision focused a bit more, the blob sharpened into a face. A face which was annoyingly close to me.

As if in answer to my thoughts, a new voice -one sounding almost as posh as the pink face was pink- took a moment to intervene. “Pinkie dear, would you kindly take a step back? You seem to be crowding our, uh, ‘guest’.”

I sent a silent thanks to the posh voice as the pink face retreated to a tolerable distance. Once I had enough room, I hauled myself to my feet and took stock of the form this universe gave me. “Let’s see,” I mumbled to myself, “paws, muzzle, white fur, bushy tail… some sort of fox?” Wait, the pink thing mentioned wings... I glanced to my back. Sure enough, a pair of wings the same white color as my coat adorned my back. Cool. Wings are cool.

“Could you speak up a bit, please?” the second voice, belonging to some sort of white equine with a horn, asked, “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Oh, just inspecting my form,” I told her. “You wouldn’t happen to know who it was that botched my summons, would you?”

The look on her face was one which oozed copious amounts of “what”, as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

I was saved from having to explain when a third equine, this one purple, also with a horn, and sporting an embarrassed blush and an equally confused face spoke up, “I think that would be me.”

“Excellent work!” I clapped my paws together as if we’d just come to a favorable agreement. Sarcasm, an excellent tool if I do say so myself. “I’ve been on the receiving end of many a summon, and never has it hurt so much! You should be very proud.

Now what do you want me to do?”

“Do?” she asked, if she wasn’t confused before, she certainly was now.

“Yes, do.” I rolled my eyes. “In case you didn’t know,” I explained, as if to an infant or a particularly slow individual, pointing between us at the appropriate times, “you’re the summoner, I’m the summon, you summon me, and I do what you say, and then I get to go home. Everyone wins!”

“Erm, okay.” She still looked a bit lost.

Going out on a limb, I asked, “You didn’t mean to summon me, did you?”

“No, not at all.”

I sighed. “Do you know anything about summoning?”

“Nope.”

“Then how did you even manage to summon me?” I asked, exasperation seeping into my voice.

She offered a sheepish grin. “Um, I don’t know?”

I facepawed. “How ‘bout this; you ask me some questions, I answer them, which takes care of what I have to ‘do’, and then I go home.”

“Sounds good to me.”

The three equines led me through a picturesque town next to a dark-looking forest to a building made out of a massive tree. Aside from being a major fire hazard, live trees are apparently quite nice to live in. Oh, and it was filled with books. Books are cool.

Once the three were settled, the purple one having obtained note-taking materials from somewhere, we began. “First,” the purple one wrote as she talked, seemingly writing down more words than were actually spoken, “What is your name?”

I blinked. Not once, ever, in my entire existence had anything asked my name. Either they already knew the answer, didn’t care, or I was attacking them. Hell, you needed to know my name to summon me! Whatever. Any magician worth his salt will tell you that names have power, so here I was presented with a rare opportunity to negate my bigges- no, my third... wait, more like my fifteenth greatest weakness! Thinking quickly, I came up with an amazingly clever and infinitely witty pseudonym.

“Call me Shard.”

The pink one didn’t miss a beat. “Well welcome to Ponyville, Shard! I’m Pinkie Pie, by the way!” she practically shouted, “We’re going to be the bestest friends ever! I’m going to throw you the most amazing welcome party you’ve ever had!...”

At some point I tuned out her ramblings, I think she went on for five minutes? six? whatever. I just watched her mane bounce around until she shut up.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle,” the purple one told me in a much more subdued manner. Her note taking, which had paused momentarily as she studiously ignored listened to Pinkie Pie, returned in full force.

“I am Rarity,” the white one said, “and I must say, your coat is absolutely gorgeous.”

“Um, thanks?”

“Now then,” Twilight continued, “what are you, and where do you come from?”

Much easier questions. “I’m a lower-upper-middle ranking spirit with affinity for frost, hailing from the gap between worlds.” See? What’d I tell you, nice and easy.

“What?” Or not...

“Right... you don’t know how summons work...” I sighed, I hate explaining myself, even though I seem to need to nearly every week. “Do you have any concept of a multiverse theory here?” Nodding heads, good. Continue. “Basically, you’ve got your infinite universes, in those infinite universes, you’ve got an infinite number of potentially infinite parallel worlds. I come from the place between those parallel worlds, sort of the cosmic glue holding them parallel, along with a near-infinite amount of other spirits. Whenever someone from one of those parallel worlds needs to conjure up some magical minion, the magic pulls a suitable spirit from the mix, the universe gives us a body, and voila!” pause for dramatic effect “You’ve got a summoned spirit! I happen to be a moderately powerful spirit of the ice variety, involved in all things cold and wintery.” Exposition!

Twilight seemed to grasp the concept, already having enough notes to fill a small book, but I don’t think Rarity or Pinkie did. The pink one in particular, since she’d apparently found my explanation too long and/or boring and decided that eating a cupcake in the messiest way imaginable would be a better use of her time. How the hell did she get frosting on the ceiling?

A few moments passed with no sounds but the rapid-fire scratching of Twilight’s quill. Eventually, I grew weary of waiting and decided to ask a question of my own. “How exactly did you manage to accidentally summon a frost spirit such as myself with absolutely no knowledge of summoning magic?”

Twilight paused her note-taking to look at me. “I honestly have no idea. I was hoping you could give me some insight as to how summoning magic works so I could figure out what happened.”

“Beats me,” I shrugged, “I don’t actually know how it works, just that it does.” For some reason, Twilight shot a look towards Pinkie Pie.

“Right.” Pinkie Pie, oblivious to the look she was receiving, had started a game of checkers with Rarity. “Could you describe this ‘place between universes’ that you come from?”

“No.”

She looked taken aback by my abrupt answer.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I reassured her, “it’s just that words cannot capture the sheer paradoxical differentness and harmonious insanity which is my home. And no,” I added, seeing the look on her face, “I cannot show you. There are some things which the mortal mind simply cannot comprehend.”

The unicorn looked vaguely disappointed, but soon rallied. “What about other universes?” she asked, “What are they like?”

Ooh, back to complicated questions. Well, a vague question deserves a vague answer.

“Different universes are just that; different. They are exactly the same, yet wildly contrasting at the same time, and as varied as there are stars in the sky.” She seemed to grasp the theory rather well, if her lack of further questions on the subject was anything to go by.

“You mentioned that you’re a frost spirit?” I nodded. “Could I get a demonstration of your magic?”

“Sure thing.” I paused. What should I show her? Definitely not  anything related to combat; everything about these equines screamed ‘peaceful’. Something flashy then. Or should I go for subtle? How ‘bout subtly flashy? Meh, I’ll just wing it.

I held up a paw and channeled a bit of power into it. Starting at the bottom and moving up, I meticulously crafted an intricate ice sculpture.

“Impressive.” Twilight intoned, gazing at the frigid hawk sculpture I held. I grinned. If you think that’s impressive, just you wait, little miss purple-pants.

I focused a bit more on the frosty bird, sprucing up a few details and ensuring it could handle what I was about to do, then tossed it up into the air. To say Twilight was shocked when I carelessly tossed the beautiful ice sculpture behind me like it was trash would be an understatement. To say she was shocked when said ice sculpture spread its wings and began flying around the library would be an enormous understatement. Her jaw was practically on the floor. Wait, scratch that, her jaw was on the floor.

After a minute or so of controlling the bird like the puppet it was,I flew it out a window and sublimated it. (Sublimation, for those of you who don’t know, is when a solid substance like ice turns directly from a solid to a gas with no liquid stage in between)

“Now” Twilight’s jaw snapped shut as I resumed our conversation. “Since I demonstrated some of my magic, how’s about you demonstrate some of yours? Namely, the kind that will send me back home.” I am amazing when it comes to subtle hints, aren’t I?

“Oh, right.” She looked slightly disappointed that she couldn’t ‘study’ me further. “Uh, I know you don’t understand how it works, but could you at least direct me so I know if I’m doing it right?”

I nodded. If she did it right, I’d get a nice tingly sensation before winking out of existence. If she did it wrong, well, anything could happen. “Just try to undo whatever spell you cast to accidentally bring me here.”

Twilight set aside her notes and stood up, legs spread for stability, in preparation for her spellcasting. “Ready?” she asked.

“I was born ready.” was my immediate reply.

Pinkie Pie had thoroughly trounced Rarity a total of seventeen times -I counted- at checkers, and the two paused their game to watch.

The purple unicorn’s horn lit up in a magenta glow and before long, a familiar tingly sensation began creeping slowly up my legs. I relaxed and didn’t try to fight the unsummon.

Twilight, for her part, had her face screwed up in concentration. The glow surrounding her horn, some sort of visual representation of the level of magic she was using, had more than tripled in intensity.

Well, this was it. I waved silently to Pinkie and Rarity, they waved back though Pinkie looked rather downtrodden for some reason. Probably since she wouldn’t be able to throw me that welcome party she promised. Eh, I’m not really that into parties, prefer to drink alone where I can’t make an ass of myself.

The tingling reached my shoulders. I closed my eyes in preparation for being sent home. I always look forward to going home, not because I like it there, -in actuality, it’s kinda boring,- but because I get to take a break from all the shady jobs summoners have me do... a break that seems to be getting shorter and shorter each time since more and more universes are being made, therefore more summoners and more demand for spirits...

…

Do I really want to go back there?

I had to think about that for all of zero seconds before making my decision. “Twilight wait!” I called, just as the tingling reached the top of my neck.

The unicorn opened her eyes in shock at the abrupt noise. To her credit, she held the spell in place until I motioned for her to cut the spell.

The tinglyness receded much quicker than it spread, leaving behind a different tingling sensation. Like when your leg’s asleep as opposed to when you get a minor electrical shock. Sorta. Not really. No. Bad analogy, ignore that. Anyways, I’ve got two confused unicorns and an overjoyed pink pony wondering why I had Twilight kill the unsummon.

Addressing all three, I decided to go slightly philosophical for my explanation. “What are your opinions on slavery?” I asked them.

Their reactions were immediate and predictable.

“It’s morally and ethically unacceptable. Every living thing has a right to freedom.” Twilight stated firmly.

“I find the idea barbaric and cruel. Nopony should be forced to do something they don’t want to.”

“Ponies who do that are Meany McMean pantses!” added Pinkie.

I nodded at their reactions. These ponies sound like good people. “And what,” I continued my slightly philosophical explanation, “is the definition of a slave?”

“A slave is somepony who is wholly subject to another, having to do their whims without question. Oftentimes the slave is taken into slavery unwillingly or through force.” Twilight recited.

On a whim, I grabbed a dictionary from a nearby shelf and flipped to the relevant page.

“Twilight, you’ve memorized the dictionary,” I deadpanned. “Congratulations. You’re officially a nerd.”

While Twilight blushed, Rarity’s eyes widened in realization. “You said you have to do something for the summoner before they can unsummon you... Do you... have any say in the matter?”

“No,” I growled, “I don’t. None of my kind do.”

“But then, why stop the unsummon?” Rarity asked. “Wouldn’t you prefer to return to your own home?”

“In theory, yes.” I sighed. “But the multiverse is expanding. Another magic-using universe is being added to this cluster at a rate of about one every three or four days.” This rate was increasing too, slowly, but increasing. “To put it in economical terms, the demand for spirits is increasing so the supply must work even harder to keep up.”

Twilight decided to join in the conversation then. “So even if I sent you back, you’d just get pulled right out again?” I nodded. “But, how is this any better?”

“From what I’ve seen, this universe is one of the best there is.” I looked at each of them in turn to drive the point home. “I look into your eyes and I see friendship. I see concern for your fellow living beings and a strong sense of justice.”

I sighed and shut my eyes, running a paw through the fur on my head. Man, I miss that mohawk I had a few summons back... I digress. “This world may not be perfect, such things as slavery being common enough knowledge for you three to know about it is evidence of that,” my eyes snapped open I was told later that an inspirational fire began burning in my eyes at this point in my speech, “but it’s by far the best I’ve ever seen. A perfect utopia has no need for spirits... I’d like to take what I can get.”

“So what can we do to help?” Twilight’s willingness to help was... astonishing to say the least. She was really trusting if she was going to let someone like me have free will. Either really trusting or just plain ignorant of what my kind was capable of. Eh, don’t look a gift horse (pony?) in the mouth.

I opened my muzzle to respond when I was cut off. What was I cut off by, you ask? Oh, just an ear-shattering roar sounding from outside followed by the unmistakable sounds of panicking townies, no big deal. “Hold that thought.” I said, then dashed outside.

Three sets of hooves followed me outside. I’d stopped just outside the door to, asses the situation. Totally not to gawk in horror or anything. Nope. “Please tell me that isn’t a pissed-off hydra rampaging through town.”

“Okay!” Pinkie chirped, “It’s totally not a pissed-off hydra rampaging through town!”

I tossed her the dictionary I happened to have held onto. “Sarcasm, look it up.” The hefty book bounced off her fluffy mane and landed open to near the beginning of the ‘s’ section. Coincidence? I think not.

Now, sitrep. Twilight was hyperventilating, Rarity had fainted onto a couch, Pinkie was learning a new word, and the general populace was running around screaming. Lovely plan you’ve got there, general populace, a good ‘panic mode’ is essential for any thriving community.

Seeing no help forthcoming from the panicking ponies and with absolutely no idea what to do, I settled for that age-old plan of ‘charge in headfirst and hope you don’t die’. Lovely plan, almost as good as running and screaming.

“Now, let’s see if I remember how to fly.” What? It’d been a few hundred non-continuous years! Give me a break. Anyways, a few minor crashes and one severely bent lamp-post later, I initiated operation; ‘Charge like a Moron.’

Fun fact: when hydras rampage, no matter which universe you’re in, they tend to focus on one thing. Don’t ask me why, I mean, they’ve got multiple heads, in this case four, with just as many brains as heads. You’d think they could multitask.

What this means is, if you’re the object of their attention: you’re in deep shit. However, if the object of the hydra’s attention is something else, like what appeared to be a rainbow flitting around its heads at near-supersonic speeds for instance, you can practically walk right up to it doused in steak sauce while dancing the mamba without being eaten, mauled, crushed, thrashed, or any other number of horrific ways to die.

Taking full advantage of the rainbow-ey distraction, I found a nice, un-rampaged, rooftop nearby to prepare myself. Focusing my magic, I coated my fur with some nice, thick, hydra-resistant ice armor, then formed a half-dozen lance-like projectiles which orbited myself silently, ready to be hurled as fast as my magic was able.

Yeah, I’m kinda badass. Why carry arms and armor around when you can just make it out of thin air in ten seconds flat?

Flapping my wings just a little bit harder due to the extra weight, I slowly took off from my rooftop.

Not a moment too soon, as a rainbow-ey pegasus crash landed where I had just been standing. “You alright in there?” I called into the pony-shaped hole receiving a groan in response. Good enough for me.

Now where’d that hydra get to?

Turning away from the impromptu crash-landing pad, I received my answer. As I would learn later, the rainbow I’d seen earlier distracting the hydra was in fact the rainbow-ey pegasus roof-remodeler. Which means the hydra was no longer distracted, and had followed the object of its attention to its last known location.

That’s just a long winded way to say it was right in front of me.

What’s more, this universe’s hydras apparently love to eat shiny things. Magical ice is shiny.

“Oh shi-” I exclaimed, before finding myself in a cramped, dark, foul-smelling tube. Moments later I popped out of said tube and landed with a splash in a pool of stomach acid. So there I was, in practically any prey species’ worst nightmare, and I couldn’t help but grin.

Fun fact; acid doesn’t eat through ice.

“Hey hydra!” I called, fully aware that it couldn’t possibly hear me, “Didn’t your mommy ever tell you to chew your food?”

Since I had a bit of down time, I took a moment to revise my plan. Operation; ‘Charge like an idiot’ had gotten me eaten, and despite the fact that I was fine, nothing and I mean nothing eats me and gets away with it.

Fun fact -I’m just full of these today, aren’t I?-; reptiles (like hydras) are more than three fourths water. Water, as you probably know, is the liquid form of ice.

Ice happens to be my speciality.

Outside the hydra, a few of the more level-headed ponies noticed something strange going on. Instead of rampaging around angrily or chasing airborne rainbowy nuisances as it had been since it arrived, the giant four-headed lizard appeared to be in pain. It was doubled over, making pitiful whimpering noises, almost as if it had a nasty stomach ache.

The ponies, their panic-mode put on pause momentarily as they watched the new developments, noticed something else. The beast had ceased moving.

Several tense minutes passed, a few of the braver ponies edging closer to inspect the statuesque beast.

One incredibly brave, or foolish, pony (he probably had something to prove) reached out to touch the unmoving giant. That brave pony quickly retracted his hoof from the incredibly cold scales of the Hydra. “Wait,” the pony said to himself, “cold?”

The brave pony touched the beast again to confirm.

“It’s like a popsicle.” he said aloud.

A snow-white fox covered in glittering magical ice chose that moment to claw its way out of the belly of the beast.

After flash-freezing the hydra, I tunneled through the beastie’s innards ‘till only a thin layer of flesh and scale separated me from the outside world. Pressing an ear to the frozen barrier, I waited for the opportune moment to make my dramatic entrance.

The ponies did not disappoint. Slightly muffled, a voice made itself heard. “It’s like a popsicle.”

I grinned, that’s my cue. One swift swipe of my ice-clad claws later, followed by a short drop to the cobblestones below, and I found myself with an audience of about two dozen incredibly surprised ponies.

I focused on one pony in particular. He was frozen in shock with his hoof on one of the hydra’s legs. If he wasn’t the one that spoke earlier then I’m a flaming pebble. “I believe the term ‘hydra-sicle’ would be more appropriate,” I announced. If only I had some sunglasses.

The reaction was immediate, immense, and definitely not what I was expecting. Usually when you save a town from destruction-by-rampaging-monster, you get some sort of cheering or celebration... shocked awe in the very least. Trust me, I have experience with that sort of thing. No, I will not tell you any details. Yes, I have pics.

Unfortunately, after they got over the surprise of me popping out of the beastie’s gut, they started to panic. Again.

To say I was confused would be an understatement. I had questions, and I wanted answers.

Luckily, the rainbow-ey pony I’d seen earlier seemed to be immune to the panic-mode her fellows seemed to fall into every fifteen minutes. Unluckily, she seemed to be having some sort of ‘fangirl’ moment.

“That was awesome!” she exclaimed before spouting off some rapid-fire nonsense about ‘awesomeness’ ‘coolness’ and ‘radicalness’, aren’t those the same thing? Whatever, I had questions that needed asking. One moment later the rainbow pony’s speech was obstructed by a hastily constructed muzzle.

“I have questions that need answering,” I told her, “and you’re the only pony who currently isn’t running away from me. When I release your mouth, you will kindly answer the questions I ask. Nod if you understand.” She nodded, irritation clear on her face, and I sublimated the ice.

“What was that for?” She asked angrily, getting up in my face. Her aggressive action was clearly supposed to intimidate me. Someone has an ego. Laughable really, trying to scare someone who just killed a hydra from the inside.

“You wouldn’t shut up, and I needed to talk.” She seemed to accept that, albeit a tad angrily. “What’s your name?”

She seemed to perk up with the topic switch. “I’m the Rainbow Dash,” she announced proudly, puffing out her chest in what I guess was supposed to be an impressive way, “fastest flyer in Equestria and winner of the best young flyer’s competition. Surely you’ve heard of me.”

“I have no idea who you are,” I said truthfully. She seemed to deflate like a leaky balloon, so I continued. “But seeing as how I’ve only been in this universe for less than an hour, that is understandable. Impressive work distracting the hydra by the way.”

She perked back up with the praise until the rest of what I said sunk in. “What do you mean ‘this universe’?” She asked.

“Exactly what I said.” Confused look, needs more explanation. “I’m an extradimensional spirit of frost brought here accidentally by one ‘Twilight Sparkle’.” Look of recognition. “Do you know Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yeah, I know her.” a note of irritation crept into Rainbow’s voice, “What’d that egghead do this time?”

“It’s irrelevant. Tell me, who is in charge of this land’s defense?”

Another confused look. This pony’s face was very expressive. “Does this land have a leader of some sort?” I clarified.

“Oh yeah, that’d be Princess Celestia.” Princess, eh? Some sort of monarchy then.

“Do you know how I could contact this Princess Celestia?” I would have words with her if monsters such as hydra were allowed to rampage so easily. At the very least there should be guards in the towns nearest to such dangers, but the only pony I’d seen who didn’t panic was currently finishing her reply. Damn, I really shouldn’t get lost in thought.

“Erm, sorry, could you repeat that? I was thinking too hard and missed it.”

Rainbow Dash sighed, “Yeah, I was saying that Twilight’s the personal student of the Princess. You could probably talk to her.”

“My thanks for your help.” I nodded, and took off from the ground. Flying high enough, I spotted the large tree where I had left Twilight and glided over to it.

Upon reaching the library, I discovered an unfortunate shortage of bookish purple unicorns. A quick sweep of the nearby area revealed not only Twilight, but Rarity and Pinkie Pie to be missing as well, so I left again. Maybe someone else knows where Twilight is.

Searching for a pony who knew where Twilight went proved to be equally fruitless, as wherever I went, the streets were deserted. Well, not entirely deserted, more like the ponies were actively hiding from me. This theory was reinforced when I saw a couple ponies bolt inside and cover the windows as they noticed me coming. One mare even pulled a foal through an open door before slamming it shut.

Great, I’ve managed to terrify a town...

Giving up on a search that appeared to be a waste of time, I returned to the library to plan my next move.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to plan anything as I ran into a certain rainbow-maned pegasus on the way to my destination. “Hey Rainbow Dash,” I called as I flew towards her, “you wouldn’t happen to know where I could find Twilight, would you?”

“Wait, you’re looking for Twilight?”

“Yeah” I rolled my eyes, you generally don’t ask for someone’s whereabouts unless you wish to find them. “What of it?”

“Well she just sent me to find you. Sounded urgent.” Thats... convenient.

I gestured in the general direction Rainbow had come from. “Lead the way.”

Let me tell you, Rainbow Dash is fast.

Now I’m no speed demon, but when I need to get somewhere, I can get there in good time. To say Rainbow’s at least twenty times faster than me is like saying water is wet or ice is cold. Physics of the universe provided, I bet she could even break the sound barrier unassisted.

Rainbow arrived at our destination completely unwinded while flying upside down in circles around me backwards. Showoff.

She’d led me to a small cottage on the edge of town, right next to the forest the hydra’d come out of. Scattered around the yard, I noticed evidence, such as housing, food, and droppings, for at least fifty different kinds of animal. Was this a pet shop or something?

The inside of the cottage was much the same, only less grassy and more home-like. I spotted Twilight immediately, her purple coat contrasting with the soft greens and browns of the building’s interior.

Resting beside the purple mare, looking quite shell-shocked, was a yellow pegasus who I hadn’t met yet.

“Hey Twilight, who’s your friend?” I asked. I spied an open chair situated on the side of a coffee table opposite of the two equines and hopped onto it in probably the least graceful manner possible. I mean really, how was I supposed to know that fluffy-looking pillow was actually a napping porcupine?

Small pokey animals aside, it was a rather comfy chair.

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but the quivering yellow ball of pegasus at her side beat her to the punch.“Why?!” she practically shouted, the tears streaming down her face doing nothing to detract from the ferocity of her death glare. Admittedly, it was a very good glare, for a mortal. It could probably have that hydra I just dealt with whimpering for mercy in ten seconds flat. However, I'm a millennia old spirit who's seen things this pony can't even imagine. To put it in the terms of that crazy old coot I met a while back; Yellow pony used stare! It's not very effective...

“Why did you have to kill it?”

“You know, it’s generally considered rude to interrupt,” I chided, wagging my paw in a scolding way, “and I put that sucker down for three reasons.”

“Reason number one:” I held up my wing, a single primary extended. “It was on a rampage. Don’t know why. Don’t really care. What I do know is that it had to be stopped before there was nothing left of the town.” Letting a monster destroy a settlement isn’t the best way to make friends with the locals.

Extending another feather, I continued. “Reason number two, if I hadn’t stepped in, li’l miss Rainbow over there would’ve been big-scaly hydra chow.”

Rainbow looked like she wanted to say something, but I cut her off.

“And reason number three!” I wiggled my feathers for emphasis, “it ate me.” Yellow girl’s stare was at about twenty percent integrity. Time to drive the point home.

“I don’t know ‘bout you, but I don’t take kindly to folks thinking they can eat me and get away with it,” I growled, turning my own death glare up to eleven. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of my glare. Doing the dirty work for some of the most depraved individuals in the multiverse -read: most magicians- gives you some very... interesting memories. Several thousand years of the worst kind of atrocities, both witnessed and committed, are one hell of a fuel to use when firing a death glare. See where I’m going with this?

The fact that I was going full-on “predator” mode with the sharp teeth and the intimidating stature probably helped a bit too.

In retrospect, it might have been a bit much, considering the terrified squeak followed by the thud of a fainting pony hitting the floor.