Still Ill

by SonicRainboomGirl

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Fluttershy, Sex, Sad
Length: 1681

Rainbow Dash can't help the way she feels about Fluttershy. If only other ponies could understand that...

Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I don't know...

Published 2013-04-04 11:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-04 11:10:01 UTC

Still Ill

STILL ILL

Rainbow Dash had finally done it. She had met with all of her closest friends inside of Twilight's library and was sitting before them in utter exposure. Nothing but Rainbow Dash, the true Rainbow Dash. She wasn't sure if they would accept her, and she was afraid that they would react badly. Dash had decided to stop living in fear, though, and had made her statement clear.

"You're... you're what?!" Rarity shrieked, her usually wide eyes reaching a new size.

"I'm a lesbian," Rainbow Dash responded confidently.

"Don't be silly, Dash," Applejack laughed, rolling her eyes, "all ya need t' do is find yourself a stallion ya really like!"

"No," Dash replied, a bit nervous, "I really don't like stallions. Sexually."

"Ya like mares, really truly?" Applejack eyed her friend skeptically.

"Yes, Applejack, I really do," Rainbow said, beginning to feel the warm, sharp prickles of dread poking and prodding at the edges of her mind.

"Are you sure it's not just a phase?" Rarity asked, clearly trying to put her words carefully.

"No!" Dash cried, defensively, taking a step back away from the group. She was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. Twilight, Pinkie, and Fluttershy still hadn't spoken up, and Rainbow Dash hoped that their reactions would fare better than Rarity and Applejack's reactions.

"Hooray!" Pinkie suddenly piped up, smiling, "Rainbow Dash is gay! Now she can go to special clubs and be slutty with other mares! Ooh! Does this mean you'll start talking with a lisp? Does this mean you'll start wearing super bright clothing? How exciting!" Pinkie hopped up from her seat and was suddenly hugging Rainbow Dash tightly. Rainbow Dash wouldn't have any of it.

"I'm not doing any of that!!" Rainbow shouted, shaking the pink mare away. She was sincerely confused by how her friends were acting. Had they acted this way around Lyra and Bon Bon, the town's only openly gay residents? Rainbow Dash looked to Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy for a reaction, expecting them to act rationally.

"Pinkie Pie, that was very insensitive," Twilight said, scolding her pink friend, "I'm sure that Rainbow Dash didn't appreciate that one bit. But not to worry, I'm sure I have a spell to cure her somewhere."

Tears began to sting at the edges of Rainbow Dash's eyes. She felt stabbed and shamed. As Rainbow looked at Fluttershy and the two met eyes. Fluttershy shook her head, her lip shaking. That simple gesture said more than words ever could.

Rainbow Dash collapsed onto her soft, friendly cloud bed. Unlike her so-called friends, it was uplifting and supportive. Rainbow Dash couldn't erase Fluttershy's shy, beautiful face from her memory. Rainbow Dash had never wanted to see that face filled with fear or pain.

Now her best friend, the only pegasus she could ever love, was afraid of her. She probably believed all those stereotypes, just like the rest. Rainbow Dash never would have expected Fluttershy to be just like the others, but she had been. Dash felt tears beginning to rise once more, and now she didn't stop them. She let them spill, dropping down to the misty, soft floors like sweat off the forehead of a farmpony. It was all so natural.

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but feel utterly and completely betrayed. After all, those had been her very best friends in the whole world. She had separate, special memories with every single one of them. That was a new level of trust-breech that Rainbow Dash could hardly contemplate.

The biggest outrage of all was that Rainbow Dash constantly proved herself to be the element of loyalty. She had turned down so many opportunities and worked so hard for her friends. Rainbow Dash had given up both Gilda and Lightning Dust just so she could stay in the circle of friends.

She had saved Rarity's life before, for example. Rainbow Dash would do anything for that dramatic fashionista, even if she didn't understand fashion. She and Pinkie Pie had pulled so many pranks together, and they always had a blast partying together. Twilight and Rainbow Dash had been great friends from the very start. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were very competitive, but they also had lots of fun racing and adventuring together as well.

But Fluttershy... Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had more of history than any of the others. Dash and Fluttershy had been best friends for years and years. During flight school they had been one another's only friend, and Rainbow Dash had always supported her in the past.

Secretly, Rainbow Dash had been in love with Fluttershy for a very, very long time. Everything about the introverted pegasus intrigued Dash and it was hard to hide.

Rainbow Dash loved her timidity, even if it did annoy her at times. Dash wasn't sure what exactly Fluttershy was afraid of, but she seemed to just be quiet naturally. It just made Rainbow Dash want to hold her and never let her go. With Rainbow Dash around to protect her, Fluttershy could never be scared again. At least, that's the way it always worked out in Dash's fantasies.

Rolling over onto her back, Dash looked at the fluffy, soft white ceiling above her head. She had decided one thing for sure. She had decided that life was simply taking and not giving. Rainbow Dash had always done the citizens of Ponyville services and favours. The weather, to begin, but she had also been a friend and neighbor to other ponies for her entire lifetime.

Ponyville was hers, it owed her a living.

It at least owed her something. Respect. Tolerance. Understanding.

That was really it. Understanding. Her friends were very respectful, and it was pretty obvious that they were trying to be tolerant. However, they were very bad at it and none of them really understood Rainbow Dash. She had been tempted to just spit on them earlier in that day, but she suspected that would do her no good.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. She could not cling to the old dreams anymore, those dreams were done. Rainbow Dash would just need to face her own self, whether her friends were with her or not.

Rainbow Dash could remember her parents talking about homosexuality as an illness, as if the ponies in love were sick or demented. Earlier that very day Twilight Sparkle had spoken the same way. Rainbow Dash didn't feel ill, not in the slightest. She was at the top of her game, sharp mind and strong body. So was she ill?

Rainbow Dash still had one question prodding at her desperately, though. Did the mind control the body, or did the body control the mind?

Dash had a shocking amount of control, mentally and physically. When she was flying, nothing in the universe could break her concentration. In that situation it was clear that her mind controlled her body.

But there were other times. Times when Dash could feel a burning sensation in the back of her mind and all she wanted to do was scream. Flying fast and plummeting through the air was the closest thing for now. Sex with stallions had only ever brought her a certain amount of thrill and something about it felt so...wrong.

How could the wrong thing be right?

Rainbow Dash sighed, flicking her tail. She thought back to her times of fillyhood. Mostly she thought about the kiss.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had been small fillies then, only just receiving their cutie marks. Fluttershy refused to come back up into the clouds, so Rainbow Dash flew down and visited her by herself. A new bridge had been built in Ponyville, made of iron and steel. Below this shiny, enormous bridge was a grass and dirt path.

"Let's go for a walk and catch up," Fluttershy had suggested that day.

"Only if you'll go under the bridge with me," Dash dared, grinning devilishly.

"N-No way!" Fluttershy squeaked, shocked that Dash would even suggest such a thing.

"Why? Ya scared?" Dash winked.

"YES!" Fluttershy cried, but still folllowed Dash on her way to the path. There was only one thing Fluttershy feared more than going under the bridge: going anywhere without Rainbow Dash to protect her. Dash was feeling charismatic and flirty that day, and sped down the path faster than Fluttershy could possibly go. She quickly swooped under the bridge and looked up at it's beautiful, strong structure. Fluttershy quickly joined her, and when looking around under the bridge began to feel safer. It was new, and it was very strong iron.

"See? I told you it was safe under here," Dash said, smug

"I suppose, yes," Fluttershy whispered, quietly.

"Feeling shy?" Dash asked, kindly. Even when she was playful, she was very considerate of Fluttershy's feelings and simply wanted to bring the sweet pegasus out of her shell.

"Of course," Fluttershy sighed, shaking a little bit. Rainbow Dash moved closer to the yellow pegasus and put a foreleg around her. Fluttershy snuggled closer to Rainbow Dash and Dash couldn't help but feel her heart race faster. Fluttershy was so soft, so warm, and so trusting. Dash just wanted to hold her close, kiss her gently, and make sure she felt safe. Fluttershy hardly ever felt safe, and to be a source of security made Rainbow Dash feel like the most important pony in the world.

Right there and then Rainbow Dash couldn't resist. Some hot, burning urge at made her lean in gently and kiss Fluttershy. It was a soft kiss that only lasted a few seconds, but Fluttershy returned the affection. Her lips were soft, smooth, and they tasted sweet. Fluttershy smelled like flowers and fresh spring grass.

"Oh..." Dash sighed, coming out of her memory to feel more tears falling from her eyes. The body controlled the mind.

Rainbow Dash was still ill.

Author's Note

In case there was any confusion, I am completely for gay marriage and I am not homophobic. This is simply a story. If you'd like to have a discussion about my beliefs, PM me.