Every Prince Deserves a Princess

I whipped my head back as I felt my throat begin to fill with water, violently breaking the surface while spitting the liquid that had tried to murder me up into the air in a haphazard spray. I breathed in, feeling much better as the sweet oxygen found its way to my lungs, and then quite a bit worse as I began to cough violently, forehooves gripping the sides of the fish tank before me. I heaved and hacked, the ridiculous-looking mask-like device strapped onto my face and clinging tightly to my sopping mane.

"...congratulations, you're a complete idiot."

I glared daggers at the saffron pony standing next to me, shaking his head as his silver mane bounced about. He put a hoof to his forehead with an exasperated sigh as he began to clap me upon the back to aid in my efforts at clearing my lungs, the red she-bitch on my other side howling with laughter. Oh, how I longed to murder them both and string their corpses up outside my room.

"He's right. Didn't you see the other thingy he was holding?" Willow asked as she regained her composure, at least somewhat. I shook my head, sputtering out another series of coughs as I tried to reply. I reached for her neck, only to watch the bothersome twat casually step out of the way. "Yeah, well, that isn't the whole thing, dumbass. Pay attention."

Golden allowed himself another sigh, walking around the table and lifting my chin with a hoof, a look of genuine concern upon his face. "Hey. Blueblood. You okay?"

I looked up at him, struggling to see through the droplets clinging to my goggles as I removed the mouthpiece, letting the apparatus hang down around my neck. A few more deep breaths later, and I was finally able to reply.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I... got excited."

"Wow. I thought that only happened when Cadenza bent over," Willow taunted from her somewhat safe position several feet to my left.

"You shut your arrogant, whorish mouth! The only thing it's good for is su-"

"Yeah, pretty much. At least I'm good at it. Got more skills than you do," she replied while twirling her claymore. Had she not been armored, I swore I would have taken the blade and rammed it so far up her ass that I'd have been able to spit roast her with her own flames.

"Silence!"

"Both of you, just... just stop!" Golden snorted, looking incredibly annoyed that his spotlight had been stolen by both mine and Willow's collective idiocy. I whipped my sopping mane to one side, refocusing my attention upon the insecure inventor as he held up what looked to be a long, metal cylinder.

"This is your oxygen tank. Without it, the mask is useless, and it'll fill with water immediately. We need to attach the two via that hose. You know, the one that you put in the water before going under," he added with a sigh.

"And how was I to know!? I am not a scientist, it was your job to explain the concept before I tested your stupid machine!" I bellowed, immediately regretting my choice of words.

"Stupid machine?" Golden asked, with a scandalized look.

"Oooooooooooooooooooh shit, son!"

"You stay out of this!" I cast a persecuting hoof in Willow's direction, desperately trying to retread ground and win Golden back to my side as his ears began to wilt. I adopted my newly-constructed and still in progress look of genuine concern, leaning down to his level and changing my tone of voice to a softer, apologetic one. The notion was almost beginning to feel genuine, scarily enough.

"Golden, I am sorry. I got a bit worked up, from almost drowning,"

"Like a complete fucking moron," Willow chimed in.

My eye twitched, but I otherwise managed to keep my composure. "Your machine isn't stupid. Assuming it works, it's a wonderful scientific breakthrough, and one we need." Golden smiled just a bit, but almost didn't look convinced. It seemed that the damage done was lingering with him, if not irreversible beyond a certain point. Lesson learned.

"...thanks. Here, I'll hook you up." The smaller unicorn began attaching hoses and checking nozzles as I stood quite still, trying a zen breathing technique that Cadenza had taught me some time ago. The stupid process never worked, and I had the urge to add a 'fucking' before each number I recited in my head, but at least I tried. Golden finished his work, and stood at my side holding the tank in his forelegs, to which I gave a quizzical look.

"No sense putting the whole belt and harness on to let you dive in a fish tank. I can carry it, at least for this little trial," he said with a smile.

"You sure, small fry? I can just put it on my back or whatever if it's too heavy," Willow offered as she walked closer.

"Yes, Golden, that might be a better idea. Let her carry the weight with her rippling, ugly He-Mare muscles."

I wasn't quite ready to begin the test, but fortunately, I managed to put the mouthpiece back in its proper place before Willow gripped my mane and shoved my face down beneath the surface of the water. I tried to scream, only to blow bubbles instead as I realized that I was, indeed, underwater. Against all common sense, I tried to suck in a breath, and... it worked. Cool, crisp oxygen flooded into my mouth and lungs, allowing me remain underwater without fear. I blinked several times, moving my head this way and that as I looked out at the distorted version of Golden's lab that had become visible through the water and glass walls surrounding me. The faces of the various clocks seemed to bend as bubbles moved up past my face, and I allowed myself a smile. The sensation, the idea of it alone, was incredible. This unicorn was a bona fide genius.

I surfaced mere seconds later, immediately popping the apparatus out of my mouth and removing my goggles with a charming smile. "It works! It actually works!"

"Don't sound so surprised," Golden spoke in a low tone, with a smile of his own and a raised brow. He looked incredibly smug, and all I could really think at that point was 'good for him.' He certainly deserved the satisfaction for a job well done.

"Alright, cool. My turn!" Willow unceremoniously dropped her claymore to the floor, resulting in a loud clatter that caused both me, and the only other life form above the intelligence of a smile mold within the room to jump in surprise. More quickly than Golden could stop her, Willow had placed one of the remaining rebreathers upon her face, hooked up an oxygen tank, and quite literally jumped upon the small table between us before thrusting her head into the water. Upon hearing her garbled cry of something close to "I'm a pretty fishy!", I knew that I had long since overstayed my tolerance for the laboratory, and so, began to make way to the door as the crimson idiot made completely unnecessary swimming motions while partially submerged.

"Thank you again, Golden. What do I owe you for the set of three?" I asked, leaning into the door frame.

"Nothing. Work for royals is free," he answered with a smile. Not one to question such things, I merely gave him a small salute before slipping out into the hall. My mind wandered to the events to come as I worked my way through the corridors of the castle, eventually making my way back up the stairs and toward my room. Conveniently enough, a large, dark blue figure was waiting just outside my door, a cold, hard look in her eyes as she glared down at me. I approached without fear, my jaw set and mouth in a thin line.

"...I need to get to my room. Move."

Luna narrowed her eyes further, looking as though she wished to stomp me into the carpet then and there. "No. Sister has told me of what you, Shining, and the commoner intend to do tomorrow."

"Oh?" I asked, tilting my head. "And do you intend to stop us from discovering your little secret?"

"Little secret? Just what are you accusing me of?" Luna flared her wings, looking both displeased and a bit confused.

"You know very well. I'll find evidence, one way or another. Stay away from Cadenza." I pushed past my smaller, darker aunt, and put my hoof upon the handle of the door before I found her own hoof atop mine, in a death grip. She lowered her face directly next to mine, and I could feel her icy breath against my neck. The resulting chill brought a fierceness and accusatory tone to her next words, and my eyes widened as that sickly sweet, familiar scent began to flood the hallway as Luna's eyes darkened.

"...I do not know what you are implying, nephew, but I came here to wish you luck in your endeavors. May you find what you are looking for." Luna released her grip, but the scent still lingered. I found that, as she turned away from me, her expression dark, that I was terrified. It was her. Auntie Celestia would never have believed me, and to bring changelings into the palace...?

I had no other choice. I had to find something incriminating within the cave. Shining Armor would be able to help. He was always in control within times of crisis, and I could fill him in when we met up in the morning. I pushed open the door to my room as the scent finally began to fade, only to find Moss sitting upon my bed... clad in a very tiny thong.

"You idiot!" I whispered in a harsh tone, slamming the door behind myself as quickly as I could, and praying that no one had seen. Moss merely chuckled, clutching a pillow in his forehooves as he swished his tail, guiding my eyes to exactly where he wanted them.

"Oh, calm your tits, Big Blue. Everything good to go?"

"Yes, I... the devices work like a charm. We'll be able to get to the cave, and back to the surface later without issue." I stared at his flank, somewhat entranced by the twitching tail and movements of his hips.

"Cool. Tomorrow's a bit of a big deal, y'know. I'm a little nervous. Are you?" Moss looked up at me as I climbed onto the bed, standing over the smaller stallion as he rested upon his back. I cast my eyes over his body, taking in the slender, but rigid muscles that ran down his sculpted form. He was an attractive pony, despite his messy shock of hair and bad teeth...

"...somewhat. You and Shining will keep me safe, though. I know it."

"And you'll be there for me and him, too. I know. It's no biggie. I trust ya," he replied with a smirk, before leaning up and wrapping his hoof around the back of my neck and pulling me into a kiss. I returned the gesture, though my mind could only linger upon Luna's words and the incriminating evidence of her defection. Deep within my stomach, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong, down in those caves...

"Thank you. Are you... yearning for something, Moss?" I arched my brow, looking downward as he rubbed my shoulder.

"Hey- there's a small chance we might not make it back tomorrow. Why not have some fun tonight? It's been cool so far, right?"

I merely nodded, using a hoof to roll down the side of his thong before gazing upon my prize for the night. The idea felt so odd... but there was nothing left to lose. I still wasn't entirely comfortable with the entire concept, but he had at least won the right to experimentation.

"...right. Thank you."

I took my position as we kissed again, using my horn to dim the lights as I claimed my partner, his hind legs wrapping around my back while we spent the night together in an embrace of passion.