Chapters The silence...of Mare-Do-Well
The silence... of MARE-DO-WELL.
Featuring the Mysterious Mare-do-well.
Guest-starring the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Welcome back ponies who thirst for justice. Today's tale tells once again of the exciting exploits of the mysterious Mare-do-well, protector of the innocent. Only one pony knows the true identity of the mare behind the mask, or of how mostly mild mannered unicorn Bluebottle found an elegantly designed costume on one of the back racks of the Carousel Boutique. From the moment of discovery the owner Rarity, a Pinky Promised confidant, generously allows the boutique to be used as a base of operations. Let us see what perils befall her today.
*Another sunny day in Equestria. Celestia's sun warming my face. It is almost impossible to think that anything untoward could happen on a day like today, but the seeds of villainy grow as strong as such weeds tend to in light like this. Even out of uniform I must maintain constant vigil.* Engrossed in her dramatic and distracting thoughts the light blue mare was unaware of the danger she was in. A grey pegasus who was flying to the park bench with her muffin, just purchased from Sugarcube Corner somehow missed her mark when coming in for a landing, upsetting the bench that held both the unicorn and the parfait that she had been savoring.
"My bad. Are you OK?"
"Yes, I am. No harm done." Replied Bluebottle, standing up. "Now where is my..."
Noticing the fallen parfait glass a few hooves away knocked asunder by the tumble tears welled up in her eyes.
*Once again there are victims of my negligence. Goodbye sweet parfait, I will never forget you.*
Overcome with emotion Bluebottle galloped away, white mane and black tail flowing in the breeze. Inwardly vowing to remain alert so nothing like this would happen again, and once again failing to pay any attention to the world around her she ran headlong into a fencepost knocking her back stunned. After a few moments of woozy recovery, she was able to straighten out her spinning head enough to overhear two nearby unicorns conversing,
"Well brother of mine, we are in a right jam. Yes, a right jam indeed."
"Well said dear Flam, we need another plan. Yes we need another plan to succseeeed."
"I do believe I've got it, an idea from which we'll profit, and we may not need to even lift a hoof."
"So share away. I must say, I smell profits through the roof.
"I've heard rumors spread around, that underground there dwell a nasty lot.
"I see where this is going, so keep on showing. I think I'll like this plot.
" Toss them a few stones, they'll work themselves to bones, digging up the ingredients.
" Flim get the snake oil, bring it to a boil and toss in whatever is expedient."
The two slick salesponies galloped off to prepare, leaving the still slightly dizzy Bluebottle behind. After shaking her head to clear out the last few circling birdies, Bluebottle recovered her wits. Going over what she had just heard she decided to head to the Boutique to discuss this with her sponsor and companion.
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Arriving at Mare-Do-Well's hidden base only moments later, due to it being just a few blocks away, Bluebottle found the distracted dressmaker amidst her garments working on a new project.
"Rarity, I think Flim and Flam are going to try something fiendish." Bluebottle said entering the boutique.
"Mhm." replied Rarity.
"I overheard them plotting, they want to sell some sort of cure all elixir but they are going to just throw in a few random things. Who knows what damage that could do." exclaimed Bluebottle.
Holding a polka-dotted swatch of fabric near a green striped one Rarity distractedly murmured, "Now that's a crime!" while inwardly thinking *against fashion.*
Bluebottle beamed, knowing her calling was, well, calling for her. "This looks like a job for...Mare-Do-Well!"
Still engrossed, Rarity spotted tickets to a fashion show she had received from Fancypants. "Simply must take Sweetie Bell."
The hurriedly dressing unicorn with the two locked hoofcuffs cutie mark was startled, but replied " Alright, if you're sure about it." Bounding out the door of her rather public secret headquarters, Mare-Do-Well galloped off to find the younger sister of her benefactor.
Rarity turned around finally and wondered why Bluebottle had come in and where she had gone before even saying hello.
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Sweetie Bell was deep in thought. Hanging out with her friends often brought mental workouts like this one. Scrunching her face into a look of concentration the filly announced her conclusion to the perplexing dilemma to her fellow crusaders. "Rarity probably wouldn't mind if we used her oven to make cookies. After all I'm pretty good at putting out the fires now!"
The young pegasus standing opposite her looked excited. "All right!!! Operation Cutie Mark Crusaders Cookie Bakers is a GO!"
Applebloom, the third filly of the group, perked up at the news. "That's awesome Scootaloo. Ahm gonna get some supplies from Applejack, Ah just know we'll get our cutie marks this time!"
Just as the three were about to set off to once again destroy property in the name of going through pony puberty, Mare-Do-Well arrived in the clearing.
As excitable as ever, Scootaloo rushed up to the masked heroine, wings buzzing away for extra propulsion. "Hey Mare-Do-Well, are you gonna take us on another adventure? Are you gonna beat up some bad guys? Are we gonna rescue one of the princesses? Rainbow Dash rescued the princesses and I want to try too! Maybe I can get a princess rescuing cutie mark!"
Applebloom was right on her tail (so to speak) also hounding the rather flustered costumed unicorn. Managing to stammer out that she was supposed to take Sweetie Bell along may have been a mistake because the three fillies began to rapidly argue a case for Cutie Mark Crusaders Super Hero Sidekicks. The girls' rapid fire attempts to convince her almost made her eyes spin. When the dreaded lil' pony eyes came out and the final K.O. was dealt to Mare-Do-Well's feeble protests of keeping them safely at home, the four mares set out to get to the bottom of the Flim Flam scam.
To Be Continued...
The silence...of Mare-Do-Well
The Baffling Continuation
Under her costume Bluebottle was exhausted. The difficulty of keeping up with a single excited filly was bad enough, but keeping up with three wildly excited, highly energetic Cutie Mark Crusaders? Herding them to random places to find Flim and Flam's hideout certainly was a workout. She felt that if she were to run out of power for her house, hooking even just Sweetie Bell up to a generator would produce enough juice to power the whole town for a month. Repeating her silent thanks to Rarity for making her uniform wicking, she brought the cavorting Crusaders to yet another motel to find a clue as to the whereabouts of the two conniving charismatic unicorns.
Overcoming her embarrassment at both the antics of the hyperactive foals behind her as well as for dressing as though nightmare night had suddenly been declared to be a daytime summer event was difficult for Bluebottle. She was once again mentally sending praise towards her benefactor for including a full face mask that would cover up her beet red blushing face. As this was the fourth attempt at doing the same thing Mare-Do-Well quickly sought out the manager of Pete Pot's Lots for Lots of Plots.
"Excuse me good citizen and/or motel manager," began Mare-Do-Well. "Are you aware of the locations of Flim or Flam? They are two unicorn brothers who are apparently quite famous for both being able to sell almost anything and using the word nonpareil correctly in a sentence. I came here after checking Fair Pastures Inn, Stable 6, the Coulton and the Mareiot."
Just then a crash was heard, followed by a pony moaning about their fate.
"I guess we aren't cutie mark crusader luggage cart racers." said a dejected Scootaloo
"Ooh! Ooh! Ah know! Hows' about luggage deliverers!" piped up Applebloom.
"They are called bellhops" Sweetie Bell chimed in.
Looking at her friend Scootaloo made an annoyed face. "What are you, a dictionary?"
The manager, for some reason, seemed incredibly eager and willing to give the fashionable hero all of the information that he had heard about the Flim Flam brothers. Making extra sure to stress that they weren't staying in his motel but camping out quite a distance away at the edge of town. Ponyville's resident hat wearing hero and well-meaning underage natural disasters set off leaving the manager crying. Mare-Do-Well felt he must have been moved by her heart of justice.
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While Bluebottle and the girls headed towards them Flim and Flam were in a discussion with the dreadful Diamond Dogs. Fido, their apparent pack leader was performing the negotiations. Fido was a superior Diamond Dog negotiator, with his expert haggling the Diamond Dogs were sure to make out fantastically on the deal with the two ponies.
"So we buy your elephant repellant for only 5 gems?" Fido asked.
Flam assured him that his bonified elephant repellant was worth more but they were cutting a deal. "Just think! Not an Elephant to be found anywhere, and if you buy in bulk we will even throw in this collectable lug nut."
The small Diamond Dog Spot cried out, "I'll take five!"
Deciding that getting the canines to open up lines of credit would be overkill, the brothers instead began to outline their newest plan for selling to Ponyville. Striking a bargain at less than minimum wage for the dogs, who would be working mainly for commission despite not actually selling anything the slick unicorn pair gained their workforce. The pack would dig up the various ingredients for the Miracle Mixer Elixir, while the bow-tie sporting ponies in pinstripes would mix up the concoction.
In an attempt to build up rapport with their new henchdogs Flim asked the large Rover what he did in his time off from hunting gems.
"I is story writer," Rover replied. "Have big project."
"Wrote this on own, but now have writers block. I go on Hiatus," explained the obviously very proud dog.
To Be Continued
The silence...of Mare-Do-Well
At a slow gallop toward their destination, the purple protector of Ponyville was feeling a bit more refreshed. Her three assistants had needed a potty break a half mile back, during which she had managed to collapse onto the ground for a much appreciated rest. After getting her second wind and making sure that all hooves were washed, the small herd had continued on. Wisely bypassing the local Star Bucks' and saving all of Equestria from the dangers of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Coffee Drinkers (YAY!), the costumed mare paused, causing a babbling Scootaloo to stop short and fall over as Applebloom crashed into her. Raising a hoof to her chin in thought Bluebottle took a moment to consider that she really didn't know what Flim and Flam were planning.
"Hmm, you know what? I think you're right Scootaloo. Swooping in from the roof would be better than walking in the front door. I'll have to try that one day." Mare-Do-Well said after a few moments of thought.
Researchers say that this would be when all semblance of common sense in Ponyville committed suicide.
While speaking to the pegasus about the logistics of not dying after jumping from the tops of nearby houses an errant breeze passed by her head. Interrupting the youth's thousandth utterance of the word "awesome" while describing a stunt decidedly not foal safe, our hero remembered the task at hoof. Looking up at the setting sun and darkening sky, Mare-Do-Well ushered her charges onwards towards the last known location of Flim and Flam.
Meanwhile, at the dog cave...
Spot was busy marking a stalactite larger than he was. He would have marked a stalagmite because they were cooler but he just couldn't reach. Fido and Rover were discussing their duties while trying not to look at their diminutive friend.
"So we need to keep other ponies away from bacon tailed ponies? How we do that?" Rover asked his smarter companion.
Fido thought deeply about the problem, causing the family of fleas living on his head to worry for a moment about the unnatural heat. After a few exhausting seconds of the intense mental labor he was rewarded by what any other species would have regarded as a half baked plan. Naturally he was delighted. Though, as leader he couldn't begin cavorting around in victory. He had to play it cool.
" We set trap for them. We trap ponies that get close and bring them back to cave. Then we makes them get gems for US! We can use gems to buy bacon ponies' deed to Canterlot, and sell it back to pony princesses at half price. Flawless plan! Rover! Get ropes. Lots of ropes. Like three ropes." Ordered the madly dancing leader.
As the large dog lumbered away in search of the needed tools he wondered just what that odd flushing sound was behind him.
After what seemed like far too much running on Mare-Do-Well's part, the hero with the fashionable cape and the cape-less crusaders arrived at the mouth of the cave serving as campsite for the Flim Flam brothers. The Super Cider Squeezy 6000 was parked nearby the cave entrance. Applebloom was scowling as she recognized the machine.
"So whats the plan? Do we bust in there and fight with the bad guys? Do we have to rescue a hostage? Can we use something from your utility saddle to break in?" the still excited Scootaloo asked her number two hero.
"Ah bet you don't even know why we're here 'n th' first place." muttered Applebloom who was still understandably annoyed at the two stallions who had nearly made her homeless.
"Why ARE we here? Do they have ice cream?" wondered Sweetie Bell causing the other two to look at her with an odd expression before Mare-Do-Well replied.
"Girls, I'm going in to talk with Flim and Flam. Things might get out of hoof so I'd like you to stay out here. If I need backup, I'll be counting on you to go find someone in Ponyville." Mare-Do-Well instructed the fillies, hoping that it wouldn't come to that.
"Can do Miss Mare-Do-Well! You can count on us!" the trio assured her as halos appeared above them.
With that assurance Mare-Do-Well went into the cave. As the fading light from the evening summer sun faded while she trekked deeper in, Bluebottle reminded herself to be on her guard. Even a moment of distraction could cost her in this cave where even Celestia's gift could not be seen. Even the shadows on the cave walls seemed sinister. Fortunately the path was well lit by luminous mushrooms, which filled the cave with enough light to see. Certainly more than enough to spot the incredibly obvious snare located in the middle of the path.
Predictably, Bluebottle found herself quite dizzy from her totally unexpected relocation to the cave ceiling. She wondered which cunning criminal set up this unavoidable trap.
Laughing to themselves at the genius of their plan, the three gem hounds heard sounds coming from the mouth of the cave. using one of the side entrances to get around the unsuspecting potential work force, the three snuck around until they were able to get a good look at their victims. They smiled at their haul. Two more forced workers. Satisfied they were about to leap out when Spot turned pale and began shivering. Wondering what panicked him, the two larger dogs took one last look out of the leaves and noticed one more pony they hadn't before. Then they knew what was wrong.
"No! White pony is bad! The noise! Can't take the horrible horrible noise!" Rover told his friends.
Fido agreed fully but his own greed stopped him from reconsidering their plan. In order to calm the other two he told them that this time would be different.
"White pony is small pony. Small ponies make small noises. Small noises are not scary. We will get small pony."
Unsure of his claim but equally unsure of how to counter this airtight logic the other two agreed.
The Crusaders' patience was being pushed to the breaking point. It seemed like they had been standing outside of this "dumb cave" forever. By far the most patient of the three, Applebloom figured that it had been about five minutes by then and proceeded to check if she had gotten her pacing cutie mark. When the customary check of the flank failed to reveal her life's purpose as lifting both hooves on the same side at the same time, she glanced around. A sort of rustling sound came from the bushes nearby making her a bit skittish. Calling over her two bored friends, the filly got closer to the rattling shrubbery.
When the frightening forms of Fido and Rover and the slightly threatening form of Spot jumped out of the bush Applebloom scrambled back towards the others. The dogs advanced on the foals as they huddled together in fear.
The ever brave Scootaloo asked what the dogs were going to do to them.
Spot replied "Quiet pony! We take you to our lair with one in funny cape. Then you dig for gems for us!"
At that moment Sweetie Bell's fear had reached critical levels. Taking a deep breath she...
To Be Concluded
Thanks to *GoodStNero for the picture.