Life is Only as Bland as You Make It.
Just A Normal Day
Chapter I: Just A Normal Day
The centurion removed his helm to wipe the sweat from his brow. The hot summer day made the march arduous. After wiping his brow, he checked the bristles of his helm to make sure they still looked good. After finding himself satisfied, he replaced the helm to its rightful place upon his head.
The century had been marching for several hours now. With all the recent reports of suspicious activity in the area, the generals had scheduled frequent (and large) patrols in the woodland outskirts. The legionnaire ponies obviously didn't take much liking to the new schedule, but orders were orders. With everything that had been going on recently, the Equestrian legions couldn't afford to make any mistakes, or losses.
The centurion looked about their current surroundings. The woods became particularly thick in this portion; it made him uneasy. The trees were unnaturally dark, and the branches seemed to weave together in order to create a blind to hide the contents from any passerby. The overcast clouds did their best to prevent the sun from illuminating the forest.
"Commander Starbuck?"
He was so lost in pondering the surroundings that it made him jump a little.
"Yes, Golden Flash?" Starbuck replied in a stern tone over his shoulder, still observing the forest as it loomed around them.
"We've been marching for well over five hours, shouldn't we break march for lunch?" The mare asked with a slight hint of timidness.
He really didn't want to stop here. This had to be the worst place in all of Equestria to take a break. Something just felt so wrong about this place, but he couldn't put his hoof on it. As much as he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, the ponies needed the break. Wearing them out wouldn't do anyone any good.
"We'll break for lunch at the next clearing." He replied, keeping most of his focus on the surroundings.
The roads didn't really help all that much either. They were wide enough for about eight or so ponies to walk shoulder to shoulder, and the woods seems to do everything in their power to overcome the road. Its as if the forest was insulted by the presence of any product of civilization, and did everything in its power to eventually consume it.
They had kept the march brisk through the morning. Nopony wanted to be there. Who could blame them? If the rumors about the place had any real merit, then being as far away as possible would be the most reasonable course of action. Trotting through the Everfree Forest wasn't exactly akin to a friendly stroll through the woods.
After a few moments of marching, The woods slowly began to break from the edges of the road, and a clearing could be seen up ahead. The legionaries were almost ready to gallop at the prospect of a good rest and lunch. The clearing itself was at least a hundred yards in diameter, with a healthy growth of vibrant grass and flowers adorning it - interestingly not very characteristic of the surrounding forest.
"Legionnaires!" Starbuck shouted. "Lunch break!"
The large group of ponies gathered in the middle of the clearing, and began breaking down in order to enjoy their lunch. It would be pretty uncomfortable, if not extremely difficult to eat with their armor adorned. Each legionnaire was standard issued a helm, a lance, a hoofblade, a scutum (shield) and armor that covered various parts of their bodies. They often also had to carry their equipment with them in saddlebags unless it was a long campaign.
Starbuck began unpacking his things in the center of the century on his chosen piece of ground. It was relieving to unstrap his shield and lance. Using his unicorn magic made it much easier, he couldn't imagine how much of a pain it was for the earth pony legionnaires. Golden Flash was right behind him the whole time, and begun unpacking her things as well. He removed his helm, and let his short blue mane rustle against the light breeze. It wasn't really that blue either - more of a cyan, or something in-between the two.
After removing his gear, Starbuck sat on the ground in a relaxed manner, and levitated his saddlebags to himself. he pulled out a hay bar with his magic, and took a bite of it. He grimaced a little. Hay bars weren't a lavish meal, but they did what they were intended to do - keep ponies fed, energized, and nourished.
"I can't stand these hay bars. I'd rather eat dirt!" Golden Flash snorted as she begrudgingly began eating her own meal. Her golden mane gently flapped in the breeze.
"If you want to eat dirt, there is plenty all around. help yourself." Starbuck nonchalantly retorted before taking another bite.
"Commander, you take things WAY too literally sometimes" she chuckled. "You should lighten up a little, These marches are pretty damn boring. Any high spirits we can muster is a good mark in my book."
"Lighten up? Have you seen the reports?" Starbuck was starting to sound a bit more agitated. Three tent parties had already disappeared on this very patrol route in the past month.
"How the hell am I supposed to lighten up about that? Why else do you think command is dispatching entire centuries now?" His deep yellow fur almost seemed as it would turn red with frustration.
"Well, yea! Honestly, I thought they were doing it for practice!" She snickered in response. He didn't know how she always managed to remain so cheerful. He kind of envied her. Kind of.
He briefly scanned the camp. The legionnaires were sitting in groups respective of their tent parties. Each tent party consisted of eight ponies, with one of them usually being a squad leader. The entire century consisted of ten of these groups, so there were quite a few ponies gathered in the clearing. The ponies were having conversations amongst themselves. He couldn't hear every conversation, but the body language of the ponies suggested they were in about the same spirits as Golden Flash.
"Is your tummy feeling funny?" Golden Flash asked him.
"Erm, what?"
"Well, you've got this funny look on your face, kinda like this!" She did her best to imitate the grumpy look that Starbuck was usually wearing, making it look more like a severe case of heartburn and indigestion.
"Something just doesn't feel... right. I can't put my hoof on it."
"How do you mean?"
"I'm not sure how to describe it, really. Its that feeling like something is watching you from behind, but when you look over your shoulder, nothing is there."
"I think you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something." Golden Flash stood up to stretch her legs. Her fur was surprisingly clean, especially being pearly white. How she kept it so clean while wearing armor, he would never know.
Starbuck was expecting a perimeter report soon - standard lunch break operational procedures. Fortunately, a legionnaire was approaching him now to deliver the report.
"Here to deliver the perimeter report?" Starbuck questioned the stallion.
"Yes, commander, I...ack-" The stallion trailed off.
Starbuck looked up at the stallion to see him staring wide eyed. A black chitinous rod was protruding from his open mouth, and blood had started running out of the corners.
Life is Only as Bland as You Make It.
Chapter II: Life is Only as Bland as You Make It.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Why is waking up on a schedule such a pain in the ass? How nice would it be to just sleep and work whenever it is comfortable and convenient? It would be so much more satisfying. Those were thoughts that crossed his mind every morning.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Lee clumsily removed the covering of his bedding to reach for the alarm clock. The covers almost seemed to have a mind of their own, and managed to envelop him in a fashion that made getting out of bed a chore. He managed to finally end the incessant noise the clock produced by putting it on snooze.
"Fifteen more minutes," he mumbled to himself while collapsing back into the warm embrace of sleep. Unfortunately, that embrace would be short lived - especially when he did reawaken and take note of the time.
"Oh shit, its 9:45! I'm going to be fucking late again!" He cursed as he furiously got out of bed.
Lee hurriedly began preparing himself for work. He was supposed to be there in fifteen minutes. His boss, Roy, probably wasn't going to be too happy about it. He'd already been late several times this week, and Roy was pretty strict about tardiness. Lee just hoped that Roy wouldn't get too upset.
While hastily putting on a white shirt and tie, Lee checked himself in his large mirror. The closet doors were made of mirrors, which made grooming and outfit inspection a cinch. He checked the knot in his tie to make sure it looked good and was strait. Fortunately, he'd cut his hair really short recently, so bed hair wouldn't be an issue; it was too short to comb. Roy would have to get over the face stubble - its the price to pay for being late instead of super-duper late. Besides, It made him look a bit more rugged.
Lee finished his makeshift grooming, grabbed his apron, keys, wallet, and cell phone, and bolted out the door. At least the drive to work wasn't that far. He hastily hopped into his car , hit the ignition, and gunned it out of the driveway and down the road.
"To arms, we're under attack!"
The enemy had come from nowhere it seemed. Their numbers were enough to completely surround the century. Their attack wasn't organized as much as it was a fit of pure rage. The enemy charged into the field from the surrounding forest with recklessness and disregard for life.
Starbuck wasn't sure who these soldiers were or who they fought for. They were ponies, no doubt, but they didn't seem to carry a banner, or have a uniform. It was if they were a rag-tag militia, or a secret army waiting for the chance to overthrow any semblance of order. They were equipped with all manner of weapons - hoof-blades, pitchforks, wooden boards. Some of them even had legion equipment. Their armor was equally mismatched, if they were wearing any.
They had opened their attack with a volley of strange projectiles that were made of a chitinous material - almost insect-like in nature. Quite a few of the legion ponies had fallen with the initial volley. Those that hadn't were being cut down by the barbaric rush. Those that hadn't been killed initially were able to arm themselves and stand their ground.
Starbuck was no exception - He was probably the first one to have his battle gear ready, and began issuing commands instantaneously.
"Legion, circle formation! circle formation!" He cried above the sound of clanging weaponry and death.
The legionnaires began forming a circle formation in the center of the clearing. This way, the enemy would not be able to flank them.
"Circle form-" Starbuck almost finished as an attacker had come for him, swinging a two-by-four with several nails protruding from the far end of it.
He barely managed to dodge the wild overhead swing. That was his enemies mistake that had left the poor sop wide open for a counter attack. Starbuck advanced to the right, pushing the club away with his shield and lodging his hoofblade firmly into the armpit of his attacker. The attacker shrieked in pain and shock as the blade nearly severed his foreleg. Starbuck quickly withdrew the blade and delivered a final strike to the neck.
Starbuck recovered to immediately have another foe advancing towards him. This unicorn was focusing his unicorn magic to levitate three blades. Starbuck was slightly impressed - not many unicorns were able to reasonably fight while levitating more than one.
The unicorn charged and began swinging the blades wildly at Starbuck. He was able to block some of the attacks with his shield, and used his own unicorn magic to create force fields to block those he couldn't reach. This unicorn was pretty good. Keeping the blades from landing a blow was taking all of Starbucks concentration, and wasn't affording him an opportunity to counter or make an offensive move.
The volley of attacks abruptly stopped. Starbuck looked over to the unicorn to see Golden Flash repeatedly stabbing him with her hoofblade. That pegasus was crazy sometimes.
"Thanks," Starbuck shot over to Golden, keeping his guard up for any more attackers
"Come on, commander! Your formation is forming up without you, over here!"
Starbuck and Golden began fighting their way through the enemies to for their formation. picking up any legion ponies they encountered on the way with them.
Lee was lucky he didn't get pulled over. He was driving at least fifteen over the speed limit. This time, he took the back roads - the ones that the cops usually weren't clocking people on. Anything he could do to save seconds was good in his book.
"Fuck me, Roy is going to be pissed!" He exclaimed.
He hastily sped his car into the parking lot of his work. It was a small sushi restaurant inside of a strip mall. Lee was actually one of the kitchen chefs of the restaurant. Considering that Lee wasn't of Japanese or Asian descent, many people thought it was weird that a white guy was cooking them Asian food. He had learned first hand not to judge the quality of food or authenticity by the ethnicity of the chef. Anyone can learn how to cook anything with the right ingredients, and the right teacher.
Lee slammed his car into the first parking space he found, jammed the lock shut, and flung the car door shut and began running for the building. He was in full sprint for the back door. It was better if he looked sincere in his attempt to be there as soon as possible - and he was! He briefly checked his phone for the time. 10:10 - could have been worse!
He burst into the back room of the restaurant panting, with his outfit being slightly disheveled. The sounds of clanging dishes and vigorous chopping permeated the kitchen. Chung, the kitchen assistant was already busy prepping veggies that would be used for the day. Daniel was already busy keeping all the dishes clean. Lee hustled towards the sink to wash his hands while adorning his apron simultaneously.The sooner he was on the floor, the better. With a stroke of luck, Roy wouldn't notice he was even late.
"Lee, glad you could make it!" It was unmistakable who the speaker was: Roy.
"Hey, Roy! I'm really sorry th-"
"Could you come into my office and talk to me for a moment?"
Shit. Every possible outcome was running through Lee's head. He gets fired. He gets yelled at. Don't they have a term for this kind of thinking? He made his way over to Roy's office with his head slightly hung. As he entered the office, Roy was sitting at his large desk while looking sternly at Lee. He may have been a tiny Asian man, but he sure as hell was intimidating; Like that father that had extremely high expectations of you.
"Whats up?" Lee said, still slightly hanging his head.
"You know this is the third time you've been late this week, right?"
"Yea, I-"
"And I don't want any of your excuses. You know my policy for tardiness."
"It wont happen again."
"You said that last week, but here we are."
Lee sighed. "I'm sorry. I've been having trouble sleeping at night, and I fall asleep so late that its hard to wake up in the morning."
"I'm going to have to let you go, Lee." Roy clasped his fingers together.
"Wh-what? Are you serious? Who's going to run the kitchen?" Lee could feel the blood rushing to his face.
"That's my problem. I need a kitchen crew I can depend on - one that can be on time. You obviously cannot be depended on, so I'm going to have to let you go."
'Well, shit. Could this day get any worse?' Lee thought to himself.
"Hold formation, we can beat this joke of a fighting force!" Starbuck yelled over the battle.
The century had managed to form its circle formation. The ponies had locked shields, and readied their lances at the approaching enemies. Those that got past the lances were met with hoofblades.
The formation worked out quite well. The attackers weren't well enough armed or organized to form a coherent strategy, and were merely flinging themselves against it. At least 4 of their number had died for each legionnaire that had.
The only thing that concerned Starbuck was the source of those 'chitin arrows.' They seemed to be coming from nowhere, and they came with impressive force. Some of them were able to completely penetrate a shield, and had taken down several of the legion ponies.
"Golden Flash, I need some eyes! Find out where these arrows are coming from!"
"Gotcha!"
Golden Flash took off into the sky in an instant, and quickly disappeared from view. She was an agile flier, and probably wouldn't have any problems figuring out the source of the attacks. Starbuck and what legion ponies were remaining held their ground, but they were going down. The attacks started becoming more frequent, and more powerful. Starbuck suspected they were magical and nature.
He wasn't wrong.
"Stand down, thralls!" A voice boomed over the blood soaked clearing. It was obviously boosted by magic, and rung with a demonic vigor.
The battle abruptly halted, and the attackers withdrew from their attack to the source of their command. A black-bodied unicorn with a ragged blue mane was the source of the order. The stallion unicorn was adorned with various plates made of bone that covered most of his body. His helm was also made of a twisted visage of bone. He carried a scepter that was crafted of warped bone that was fused together, with a large lapis lazuli adorning the top.
"Surrender, slaves of Celestia. Fighting for the princess of the day will only lead to your demise. Surrender, and elevate yourselves to the glory of the night! Join us, and leave your pitiful existence behind!"
"Go buck yourself!" One of the legion ponies shouted in retort. Starbuck was considering a similar response, but this pony beat him to it.
"Very well, fools." The black unicorn replied. He immediately began preparing some sort of spell. He was chanting some unknown language, and the air around his scepter began to fissure. This unicorn was obviously a threat. He needed to be taken out - and soon.
"Charge this whelp!" Starbuck exclaimed. "Take him out if its the last thing we do for Celestia!"
The remaining legion ponies immediately began their charge, raising their shields and lances, trampling any of the remaining enemies that were in the way.
"Muul-thak, necrosh. vul'narrok!"
Another volley of the dangerous chitin arrows were flying directly at the legionnaires. The projectiles were devastating, the strongest volley yet. They cut through the legion shields like a hot knife through butter. Some of them hit with enough force that it severed limbs of ponies, or caused them to literally explode. The black unicorn had cast them with wild abandon, killing many of his own forces with his brutal conjuration. Less than a dozen of the legion ponies had survived that volley, Starbuck being one of them. Where the hay was Golden Flash?
The group of legion ponies kept up their charge, and were almost within striking distance of the black unicorn. The unicorn swung his scepter in the air in a right-to-left motion. It projected an invisible force that managed to clobber his attackers, sending them sprawling to the ground. In another instant, he used his unicorn powers to project a force field to pin the remaining ponies to the ground.
"Fools," the black unicorn muttered. "You really thought you would be able to attack me? You shall pay in the worst way possible. I will feed you to my demons!"
Starbuck grunted under the force of the shield. He tried using his own magic to push the shield away, but the black unicorn was much more powerful than he was. It was no use.
"Do your worst, scum!" Starbuck howled.
"Gladly," the unicorn replied with a disturbing grin.
The unicorn reached back to his saddlebag, and began rummaging in it for something. He pulled out a stone and tossed it towards the ground at Starbuck. After the stone had landed, Starbuck realized it wasn't just a regular stone. A symbol appeared to have been chiseled into it. The lines carved into the rock to create a five-pointed star.
"Demon magic," He muttered under his breath.
The unicorn began chanting another spell, and focusing its unicorn magic on the stone. The stone began to glow with a vibrant and dark energy. If any of the legion ponies hadn't been scared before, they certainly were now.
Lee slowly made his way across the parking lot. His hands were in his pockets, and he was staring at the ground.
"Man, this sucks. How the hell am I going to pay my rent?" he muttered to himself.
This hit him pretty hard. He had been working for plenty of years, and this is the first time he had been discharged from a job. He had prided himself in his work ethic, consistent employment, and lack of involuntary discharges. So much for that streak. A mixture of emotions were running through his head. Worry, sorrow, anguish, just to name a few. He just wanted to scream. It was his own damn fault too. He had no one to blame but himself.
He went to kick a rock across the parking lot, but stopped short when he noticed the odd appearance of it. It appeared that the rock had a symbol carved into it. It reminded him of a pentagram.
"What the hell?" He reached down to pick up the rock to examine its peculiar nature. If he knew what it was before hand, he would have kept walking. The stone was unusually coarse - It felt unnautual. Lee rolled the stone around in his palm for a moment. He ran his fingers across the engraving on the stone. They were covered in soot.
"Hm, thats weird" he mumbled to himself as he nonchalantly tossed the stone to the side.
"What the?!"
The stone was stuck to his palm. He began shaking his hand to get it off, but it didn't work. The stone wouldn't budge. He stared at his hand for a moment trying to assess the situation. He had his pocket knife, but he wasn't about to try and cut it off.
As he was pondering his new predicament, a white light began to envelop him. he stood agape as the light bathed him. He frantically looked around for the source of the light, but couldn't find any. He tried to move, but his feet wouldn't budge. The light was dim at first, but slowly grew in intensity until it was so bright that Lee couldn't see anything.
The light faded, and Lee found himself standing in the middle of a grassy field. The ground around him was scorched black. There were numerous creatures standing around him, and some that were on the ground too. They had a variety of mane and fur colors, and only stood just above his waist. They all had a look of bewilderment about their faces, similar to his own face. They reminded him of...
"Ponies?" Lee said out loud.
