April 5, 2013
My day started out just like any other. I got out of bed, beat the shit out of my alarm clock in exchange for fifteen minutes of sleep, showered off the funk from the day before – nothing unusual. After the little morning ritual, I returned to my bedroom, my eyes locking on the beautiful form laying in my bed. While many men happily watched their sleeping wives or girlfriends, I had a different gal. Where a spouse would normally be was… well, a spouse. Not a human one, though. Instead of a person, a small, pink pony lay in the bed, the sheets rising and falling as she breathed. So beautiful, my Pinkie Pie.
Next to my bed, there was a small, scrunched up blanket. Beneath it lay a gray filly, her front hooves wrapped around an even smaller brown unicorn colt. Oh Octavia. Fudgeball. If only you two could see how adorable you look. Dismissing the adorable scene, I left my room and shut the door.
I headed downstairs to my kitchen to meet the rest of my dysfunctional little ‘family.’ A blue Pegasus pony trotted through the kitchen. “Morning, Roman,” she said.
“Morning Rainbow Dash. Sleep well?” I asked. She gave me a wave of her hoof – good enough answer for me. I continued through to the dining room, where Rarity was eating what looked like the Rolls-Royce of scrambled eggs. She noticed me and waved a greeting.
“Good morning, Roman!” she chirped. I just grunted. “…Perhaps not. Somepony’s been waiting at the door for you, by the way.”
This caught me off guard. “Huh? It’s seven o’clock in the morning on a weekday!”
“How should I know? Do I look like a secretary?” I opened my mouth to speak before being cut off. “Don’t answer that.”
“Why didn’t they ring the doorbell, then?” I was legitimately curious by now.
Rarity pointed a hoof towards my door. “Why don’t you go see? Prepare yourself, though. We have a new ‘guest.’”
“Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Rarity,” I said, rolling my eyes and heading through the foyer to the front door. Flipping the lock, I breathed in slowly to prepare myself for my morning intruder. Then I opened the door. On the other side, standing at a massive three feet tall, was Vinyl Scratch. Something was wrong with the DJ pony, though. The last time she had been in my head, she was taller. And she had goggles on. And her proportions were more balanced. Then it hit me.
“Roman!” she shouted, jumping up and tackling me to the floor. After several moments of struggling, I managed to push the filly off of me. Filly…? Why was Vinyl Scratch a filly? I knew my own Octavia was a filly, but what could that possibly… mean…
“Vinyl, why are you here?” I asked, fearing the worst.
“I’m here to talk to Jared, duh!” she explained as though it were obvious. I realized she was talking to my close friend Jared, a fanfiction author I’d met a considerable time ago. He was a clopper as well, and he frequently chatted with my hallucinations. His favorite had been Vinyl Scratch, but I imagine that he would react differently to her being a filly now. It would mess with his ability to roleplay sex with her.
“Wha-? O-okay, just – keep it together, okay?” I had to lay down the ground rules now. Obedient as Octavia was, I still knew that I had to express my position of power in the house. “I don’t want any funny business, ya got that? I know how you and Jared always acted.”
The white filly stood up and closed her ruby red eyes. “I Pinkie promise!” She crossed her hooves over her heart, made a flapping motion, then poked one of her closed eyes.
I stared at her for a few more moments before relaxing. “…Fine. You can stay with us.” She jumped at the news, but I held my hands up in a defensive gesture. “Hey, easy now.”
“Thanks Roman! Where’s Octy? I wanna see her!”
This made me suspicious. “She’s sleeping. Why?”
Vinyl’s face became somewhat crestfallen at this. “Oh… Okay…”
“I tell you what: Pinkie Pie brings her to school in the afternoon. You wanna come with me until then?”
“Sure, dude!”
“Don’t call me ‘dude.’” I gave her a stern look before lightening my expression. “Let’s go.”

At the institution of learning known throughout the minds of teenagers everywhere as ‘Hell,’ I was met with a rough surprise. First thing in the morning was a mandatory assembly featuring three stoned rappers. I couldn’t stand the music; it physically hurt my ears. But Vinyl seemed to enjoy it a bit, bobbing her head with the low frequency pulses of ‘music’ blaring through the speakers.
The remainder of the day I spent reigning in the little filly. Pinkie Pie and Octavia showed up in period three, much to Vinyl’s delight. “Octy!” she had said.
“Hi, Vinyl…” Tavi didn’t sound very pleased to see the mini white DJ. She scooted down from her perch atop Lily. Lily was an interesting hallucination. She was pony-based, as all the others were. However, she was half-plant – a maredragora. There was an enormous flower blossoming from her skull, and her tail was a long, slender leaf. Unable to speak, but completely sentient, I decided to keep her as something between a roommate and a pet. Octavia loved her dearly, a feeling that was returned affectionately.
“Come on, that’s no way to treat an old friend!” Vinyl stood on her hind legs, forelegs open wide for a hug.
Seeing Octavia’s disapproving look, I got in the middle. “Yeah, Tavi, give her a hug.”
The cellist rolled her eyes at us, discarding her snobbish attitude and dignity to return the gesture. The two embraced for about five seconds before Tavi dropped her arms. “Pleasure to see you again, Vinyl.”
“You don’t sound it, dude.”
“Don’t call me ‘dude,’ Vinyl.” I chuckled at my daughter’s resemblance to her old man.

At home, nothing happened of consequence. Vinyl Scratch kept trying to interact with Octavia, who kept turning down the offer. As a father of a little filly nearing puberty, I was glad they weren’t too happy with each other. I couldn’t ignore the precedence set forth by the fanbase. Octavia and Vinyl were such a famous couple among the fans, it became part of the personalities created by my subconscious. I feared that it would leak through into their younger selves. It was the only logical reason why my brain had designed her as a filly this time around.

Author's Note

I know I reintroduce things in this chapter; I hadn't planned on keeping the first one. A little bit of reintroduction is required, though, because there have been significant changes since last June. Many of the ponies have vanished, leaving behind only the ones you've read here, plus Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Braeburn.

The maredragora is a creature I read about in a fanfiction called 'Monster Mares.' It can be found on this site. For an image, head over to sirachanotsauce.tumblr.com. It is Not Safe For Woona - consider yourself warned.

Also, I'm shortening the chapters marginally enough that I will be able to write each chapter as a week. Expect nothing from me - journals are not easy to keep.