The Ward

I’m being moved to a new ward today… apparently because this one has a bigger window and I could use the fresh air. They say it’ll help me feel better… It doesn’t matter; I’ll still be using a breathing apparatus like I have been since I got here. I know the real reason. This new ward has more advanced equipment, and my specific bed is designed for ponies that will be having an extended visit. They had to use a double ward for all of the equipment, but there is still room for two beds.

My wife and kids will be visiting me later today, though. Maybe the little ones will see the move as a sign that I’m recovering. My wife knows better though… and knows I’ve still got a while before I can even get out of these bandages.

I haven’t kissed my wife in a month; we can’t even talk to each other… I can’t even look her in the eye.

I haven’t held my kids in ages… I miss their innocent touch… being able to make them smile… carrying them on my back at the zoo…

My wife had to get a job because my insurance stopped covering my expenses after the first 2 weeks. I can’t do anything to help her…

The nurses wheeled my bed, and therefore me, into the new room. When I was position on the right side of the door, one of the nurses opened up the window and took in a deep breath.

“You’re going to like it here! The wind blows a nice breeze right into this window, so you’ll never be stuffy,” She said. Then, realizing I couldn’t utter a reply, she gave me another dose of morphine, and they both left. They also left me in a position where I was staring straight out the window. I looked at the torturing view of the beautiful open sky, and how I’d never be able to roam its endless depths ever again.

I strained my eye to look at my left side… I saw the cast that covered my wing and the splint that held it down.

Then I struggled to look at my right side… but did not see the same thing. The scar was healing quite well, and the fur that grew over the amputated wing was only slightly matted.

I tried not to cry because my family would be here soon and I knew that I couldn’t look so upset in front of my kids. I couldn’t help but shed a single tear, but the wind slightly blew and it dried up shortly after…

I laid there for some time, as I normally do…

“Hi honey,” said the most beautiful voice in the world. My wife and my children walked into the ward. She looked even more exhausted than the last time I saw her… Her eyes were heavy and she walked much slower than usual.

“Hi Daddy!” I heard my two little ones shout. My son was the first to approach me; he gave me a

Little hug, but knew better not to put too much weight on me, even with the drugs it was excruciatingly painful. I didn’t care though, he was my kid.

He spoke: “I start school tomorrow! Isn’t that great! Mommy won’t be able to come with, but I’m a big boy so I’ll be ok!”

He backed up and my little filly hopped up next to me like usual. She was small enough to fit on the hospital bed along with myself. She gave me a peck on the cheek, and pulled out something from her bag….

It was a package of stickers…

She pulled out a heart and put it on my cast. “Here daddy, this one is from me because I love you!” she said. She then gave the pack to my son, and whispered something in his ear. He picked out a lightning bolt and placed it underneath hers.

“I picked this one because you’re awesome, dad!” He said.

My wife finally walked up to me. I had the gall to look her in the eye, and saw tears streaming down her face. I was fighting back my own, because crying led to lung convulsions which caused me even more pain. I simply looked into her eyes, hoping she could tell what I’m feeling just by looking back into mine. I wanted to embrace them, tell them how much I love them, so much… But I cannot, not while I’m like this.

My daughter whispered in my wife’s ear too, and she pulled out a shamrock sticker and put it next to the ones my children face.

“This is mine… because I’m the luckiest mare in the world to have a husband like you” She spoke softly through her quiet weeping. If the casts and bandages weren’t keeping me as still as possible, I would’ve jumped out of bed to comfort her, no matter what pain it would’ve caused me.

A nurse walked in the room, “Excuse me,” she said, “but visiting hours are almost up for this ward. I’m afraid you must be leaving soon.”

Apparently the new ward had a different schedule from the rest. My family did not know about this, nor did I.

“Oh… okay then,” my wife replied. She leaned over me, gave me a kiss, but didn’t say anything. She turned the kids around and began to walk out. When they were gone, the nurse shut the window and left too.

My son… starting school without me… growing up without his dad…

My daughter… so innocent… so pure… so young… how can she look at me like this…

My wife…

I finally stopped holding them back, and a pool of tears gathered on the hospital mattress…