Knowing Everything Hurts Your Brain

by Princess Glitzy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2314

One day Twilight wakes up and she knows everything about anything.

One day Twilight wakes up and she knows things that are impossible to know. She knows the future, she knows secrets and she even has a few ideas about Equestria that nopony else knows.

Published 2013-04-06 21:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-04 20:13:36 UTC

Information Overload

The rays of Celestia's sun shine into The Golden Oaks Library. Twilight's alarm clock starts beeping loudly. Twilight snuggles further into her blanket. Just a few more minutes. The annoying sound continues; alarm clocks aren't patient. She slowly opens her eyes and turns off her clock.

"Meanie." She stretches and then goes to get off her bed, but she has a strange feeling like she shouldn't do that. Twilight turns over and gets off the other side. Curiosity gets the better of her and she makes her way over to the other side. Spike is sleeping, so he is blissfully unaware that he could've been stepped on.

"How did I know that he would be here? He never sleeps here!" She looks over at his bed. "It seems smaller than usual. Maybe he was just cramped up in his little bed." She walks out of the room and into the kitchen for a nice breakfast. Twilight grabs an apple and is just about to take a bite when she suddenly stops and throws it.

"What the heck?! My apple!" She gets closer and notices that there is a worm crawling in and out of it. "Ewwwww!" She levitates it over to the trash can and drops it in. Something weird is going on.

Twilight walks over to romance novel section of her library and begins reorganizing the books. When she reaches a book called 'The One' she grabs it and automatically teleports to Carousel Boutique.

Rarity turns around when she hears the sound of hoofsteps. She walks over to the door and sees Twilight. "Why hello, darling! What brings you here?" Twilight ponders this for a moment.

"I'm not really sure, actually."

"Oh, very well then." She pauses and sees that Twilight is holding something. "May I ask what you're holding?"

"It's a book called 'The One'." Rarity's eyes light up.

"THE ONE?!"

"Yes...?"

"I wanted this book so badly! I was just about to go to the library to get it! How did you know?!" Twilight isn't sure what to say. She knows a lot more than she usually did, and she knows a lot.

"I had a feeling?" Rarity smiles and then hugs Twilight.

"Thank you so much! I will return it to you once I finish reading it!"

"You're welcome-" She pauses. Something is nagging her to tell Rarity something. "When you make our Gala dresses you will make beautiful dresses and we will make you change them to ugly ones that we like!" Twilight blurts it out faster than she can tell her mouth to not say it.

"Um... Twilight? Are you okay?"

"Don't make the second dresses!" She covers her mouth with her hooves.

"Okay then..."

"BYE!" Twilight teleports out of the boutique. Twilight is going crazy.

Twilight paces back and forth. "What is going on?! I know the future!" Then, out of nowhere Rainbow Dash crashes through the window.

"Hi, Twilight."

"RAINBOW DASH! STOP BREAKING MY LIBRARY!"

"Calm down, Twilight."

"Fine." Twilight helps Rainbow Dash stand up.

"I don't need your help!" Twilight suddenly feels kind of weird.

"Rainbow Dash, you have a pet tortoise named Tank!" Rainbow Dash looks at her like she has two heads.

"Um... Twilight, I don't have a pet. If I did then-" Twilight cuts her off.

"You need a pet to keep up with you~! Something awesome, something flying with coolness that defies gravity~!" Rainbow stares at her with her mouth hanging open in shock.

"H- How did you know that I would say that?!" Twilight looks around nervously.

"I know everything...?" Rainbow stares at her. She can tell that Rainbow isn't buying it.

"Fine then... egghead." She once again has more info.

"You'll be an egghead! Your favorite book is Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone!"

"That totally doesn't sound like a good book!" Rainbow Dash lies.

"You will love the whole series when you get stuck in the hospital with a broken wing!" She reaches for her wings.

"BROKEN WING?!" She flies out of the library as fast as she can. Twilight smacks her forehead with her hoof. Why does this keep happening?! I'm freaking out my friends!

Twilight lies on her bed staring at the ceiling. Her head hurts. It is holding too much information. Her stomach hurts as well. Her morning had been... odd and so she didn't have breakfast.

"I think that I'll go to Sugarcube Corner." She teleports over to Sugarcube Corner with her mouth watering. Everything there was always so delicious. When she arrives, Pinkie Pie was standing right in front of her.

"HIYA, TWI!"

"Hello, Pinkie Pie."

"Did you have a nice morning?!"

"NO!" Twilight responds without hesitation.

"Aww, that's too bad. Do you want a cupcake to cheer you up?!"

"Actually, Pinkie, I want something for breakfast." Pinkie looks at her in an odd way.

"What's wrong with cupcakes for breakfast?!" Twilight's head starts hurting and she has a bad feeling in her stomach.

"Your Pinkie Sense is real! Twitchy tail! Eye flutter! Nose twitch! Aligator in the tub! Doors opening! Things are going to fall! A hydra is going to come, but it's not the doozy! I will combust when I hear that it's not the doozy!" Pinkie Pie stares at her with her eyes wide with excitement.

"You believe my Pinkie Sense! There's going to be a hydra! Awesome!" Pinkie smiles at her. She is hoping for more information.

"You will forget about your birthday and go crazy! When you get sad your hair deflates! It was always straight on the rock farm!" Pinkie Pie's smile slowly fades away.

"I don't like it when ponies see sad Pinkie Pie. They call me Pinkamina Diane Pie when I'm sad. It's my full name, I just don't like using it. When ponies see my deflated hair they know that I'm going crazy. I'm always a party pony in their eyes. I'm nothing more, nothing less." Twilight begins to cry.

"That's really sad, Pinkie! I feel so bad for you! I'm sorry for mentioning it! I didn't want to say it, it just happened!" Twilight wraps her arms around Pinkie Pie and pulls her into a large hug.

"Thank you, Twilight. Would you like a bagel?" Twilight nods.

"That sounds great."

Twilight sits at her home, enjoying her bagel. I've made my friends sad, angry, scared and confused. I wish that this would stop. I shouldn't leave the house today. Yeah, that's what I'll do!

Spike walks up to Twilight and hands her the checklist for the day. "You need to go hang out with the animals with Fluttershy today. You Pinkie promised." Twilight sighs. "You also need to pick up some apples. Fluttershy said that you should do that first because the animals love apples."

Twilight screams into her pillow on the couch. "Are you okay, Twilight?"

"No! I'm not okay! I know everything!" Spike laughs.

"I already knew that."

"NO! You don't know what I mean!" Twilight's head starts feeling funny.

"You get consumed with greed. When you get a lot of gifts you get greedy and big! You'll hurt Rarity and destroy some of the town." Spike looks worried and then he begins crying softly.

"I don't wanna destroy Ponyville! I dont wanna hurt Rarity! I dont wanna be greedy!" He runs upstairs and slams the door. Twilight was about to go upstairs to comfort him, but he needs to calm down on his own.

Twilight goes over to Sweet Apple Acres and immediately spots Applejack.

"Howdy, Twi!"

"Hello, Applejack." Applejack looks at her sad friend.

"Ya seem mighty sad! Are ya alright?"

"I had a rough morning. Anyways, may I please have some apples?"

"Sure." Applejack grabs a medium sized sack and fills it with apples.

"Here ya go. Now tell me what's on yer mind." Mind.

"Applebloom's talent will be art and building! Big Mac will probably fall in love with Cherilee! You will try to gather all the apples on the whole farm by yourself!" AJ looks at her strangely.

"Ah reckon that Applebloom's cutie mark will have somethin' to do with apples, but Ah'm fine with it being art. Ah'm not sure 'bout Cherilee and Big Mac, but they might make a cute couple. Ah know that ah will try to do that! Ah am always tryin' to do things like that!"

Twilight stares at her in shock. That was the only answer all day where somepony really took what she said seriously. "Well thank you for listening. I've been having this... issue. I can-" She stops talking when she realized that she was running late.

"I need to get over to Fluttershy's house. Bye!" She grabs the apples and gallops over to her cottage.

"Wait! Ya need ta... pay fer the apples."

"Hello, Fluttershy!" She smiles. "I'm sorry that I'm late."

"Oh, it's no big deal. As Rainbow would say it, 'whatever'." Fluttershy ushers Twilight over to the squirrels.

"First, give them these acorns." She sets them in Twilight's hooves. "Next, you give them a few apple slices for them to share. Then, you can pet them while they digest. Finally, after about seven minutes you can play with them. You could play whatever you want. After that you can do the same with the bunnies, but instead of acorns you should use lettuce or leaves."

She smiles and then walks back into the cottage. She is going to teach some of her birds a new song. Twilight walks over to the squirrels.

"Alright, which of you is the flying squirrel?" A small one in the middle raises his arm.

"Fluttershy will show you to Rainbow Dash, but you won't be her pet so don't be sad when she doesn't choose you." The squirrel frowns at her and then steps back a little bit.

"I'm not weird!" The squirrels all shake their heads, no.

"What?! Do you want food or not?!" They all pantomime eating.

"That's what I thought." Twilight passes out the acorns to each squirrel. They munch happily. After a little bit she gives them three apple slices to share. When they finish she grabs the core and throws it out. The squirrels snuggle with her while they digest. She watches the clouds with them.

"A balloon! A monkey! A carrot!" The clouds have many shapes. After the seven minutes is up she plays catch with them. They use berries as balls.

When they're done she walks into the cottage to chill with Fluttershy. "Hi, Fluttershy!"

"Hi, Twilight! I just finished um... teaching the... birds. It was nice."

"How are you, Fluttershy?"

"Oh, well I'm fine."

"That's good..."

"Read any good books lately?"

"I always read good books. But, I did really like one called 'Science Is Everywhere'. It had tons of information." That word triggers her facts.

"You had 0.5 wing power! It rose to 2.3 wing power. You then got 5.0 wing power! You beat your record and brought the water to Cloudsdale!"

"Um... yay! Well, yay at the end. The beginning made me think of flight camp. Ponies would laugh at me and chant 'Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly'!"

"It's okay Fluttershy." She hugs her friend and then the two of them go out to find the bunnies.

Spike pokes Twilight. "You have to go back outside. You are going on a picnic!"

"My head really hurts. I have too much information. Oh, Spike, by the way, how are you now?"

"I calmed down. I won't get greedy."

"It's in your nature. You will. You can't stop it."

"Thanks a lot Twilight!"

"Whatever! I'm going to the picnic!"

"Fine!" Twilight walks out the door and is just about to shut it when Spike says something.

"I knew that I could get you to go to the picnic." Twilight sticks her tongue out at him

The main five all look at Twilight with worried expressions.

"Are you okay? You were creeping me out earlier."

"You've been acting weird, darling."

"Im s- sorry if um... were not being kind.

"TWILIGHT IS BEING SILLY!"

"We just want to help ya get through yer issues."

Twilight looks at her friends and she feels a strong headache. It fills her whole body. She loses all sanity and her mind is consumed with facts.

"We were created by Lauren Faust! Hasbro owns us! I will be an alicorn! Pinkie will have clones! Applejack and Rainbow Dash are played by the same person! Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are played by the same person! Luna's design has changed since her first appearance! Zecora's first appearance was in the episode Bridle Gossip! We are in a TV show! A television is an object meant for entertainment! There are things called cars! Humans exist! They don't have cutie marks! They show everypony in the Apple family except for the parents! Pinkie Pie is going to bake us into cupcakes!" Twilight faints.

Everypony looks at one another. "Let's never speak of this again."

"Agreed."

Meanwhile, Lyra rubs her hooves together in the corner creepily. "And they told me humans didn't exist! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Author's Note

This story has just undergone a major edit, at least in the technical way. I have fixed all errors, fixed the tensing problems and fixed all the s and changed them into 's like they should be (I now have don't instead of dont, for example). Now, everyone who sees this will not have to deal with the errors. Please tell me if you spot anymore, thank you!

Sequel!

I just realized that even though I've had the sequel for a while, this story doesn't tell you about the sequel. The sequel is Knowing Everything Hurts Your Brain Severely. I hope that if you liked this story you will read the sequel! They are separate stories with the same idea.