Where Rainbow Dash is supposed to learn about something…
Twilight entered the library, shut the door and sighed. Everything was fine, the sun was shining outside and she had no complains other than the fact that she was tired. Which is sometimes enough to sigh whatever you might think on the subject.
The new princess had the impression she had had to solve just about everypony’s problems during the day. And it would almost be fine if it had been only that, but she also had to accept seeing everypony acting a bit different with her, which was normal due to her new status, but was calling for some time to get used to. And Twilight wasn’t even sure she wanted to get used to it.
She had to solve some slight conflict between Rarity and the mayor, about a waffle for some reason, and couldn’t help but notice how her dear unicorn friend was, indeed, treating her slightly differently. There was nothing bad about it, nothing mean or that she should worry about. In fact, if anything, she could see how Rarity was trying to act as normally as possible, but couldn’t, because of the natural respect she had for royalty, as everypony else.
In the end, Twilight was just slowly getting over her new responsibilities and the status that came with them, and, as it is normal in such circumstances, was a little bit nostalgic about the past. She knew she would get over it and enjoy the present, but for the moment, she would have liked for at least one of her friend to treat her like she was still Twilight the unicorn.
She suddenly heard the door open and close behind her in less than a second and a multicolor tornado flying around the room closing all shutters and curtains, plunging Twilight in the dark with only some rays of sunlight to light the room. The tornado turned back into a very anxious and scared Rainbow Dash that landed just before the alicorn, looking around like she was worried about being followed.
“Where is Spike?” asked Rainbow Dash, so seriously Twilight could have thought it was a matter of life or death.
“Heeeello too, Rainbow Dash, it’s great to see you too, please come in.” ironically answered the alicorn, not sure what the whole behavior was about.
“Sorry, hello, how do you do, I need your help, where is Spike?” replied in a hurry the blue pegasus.
Twilight thought about poor Spike. She had left him to handle some paperwork at the town hall. She imagined how bored he must have been at that point. Little did she know that, after some pink pony had come to visit, the whole town hall was partying like never before and Spike was enjoying it to the fullest.
“He… is not here right now. Why, do you need to see him?” said Twilight.
Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief.
“I wanted to be sure we were alone. I need your help, this is very important, you can’t tell it to anypony else, okay?” asked the pegasus.
“Of course I…” began Twilight.
“Great.” interrupted her Rainbow Dash.
The pegasus looked around once more, even if she probably couldn’t see much in the dark room. A little second of silence ensued, which was frustrating for the alicorn after having been interrupted like that. Still, she was becoming a little curious and worried about that “very important” stuff Rainbow Dash wanted to tell her. Her mind was slowly beginning to consider that it might be something serious.
“Okay Twilight. I know this is hard to hear from me, but I know I have a problem and you’re the only one that can help me with that magic of yours.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yes?” asked Twilight, seeing that it would take the whole night if she didn’t help her friend feel a little more confident talking about it.
“It’s just… I tried to handle the whole thing by myself, but I can’t, I just can’t, it’s too much…” continued Rainbow Dash.
“I understand. So…?” said Twilight, becoming a little bit impatient.
“You know, it’s strange how there are things in life that only magic can solve… I mean, shouldn’t we have been made so that we can face any problem with our own abilities?” rhetorically asked Rainbow Dash.
“Just tell me what the problem is already!” shouted Twilight, really not in the mood to do the psychological thing all the way.
Rainbow Dash realized that she was frustrating her friend with her hesitations and apologized.
“Sorry Twi’.” she replied.
Twilight’s look made her understand she should better spill the beans right there or face an alicorn wrath.
“Here is the thing,” Rainbow Dash said, “I’m sick and I need you to cure me with your magic.”
Twilight gasped: it was serious after all.
“You’re sick? Of course I’ll help. What is the illness, what are the symptoms? she asked.
“I’m in love.” explained Rainbow Dash in one breath, closing her eyes.
…
Twilight couldn’t respond right away. She knew Rainbow Dash could do some stupid things some times, and was kind of shy behind her whole confident behavior when it came to emotional feelings, but the whole act was taking it way too far. This was just ridiculous.
“Oh come on!” began Twilight, opening all the shutters with her magic and letting the light come in once again, “You could have said it from the very beginning and not make so much drama about it.”
And then Twilight remembered a little detail that was bothering her.
“But how is it the problem? If anything, I’m very happy for you, it’s great news. Do I know him?” she asked her pegasus friend.
“Well, you see, that’s kind of the problem, that’s why I need you to use your magic.” answered Rainbow Dash.
“Why for?” asked Twilight in return. “I hope you don’t expect me to make him love you magically or something like that. You know I would never approve. It would be just wrong.”
Rainbow Dash smiled. The sight of Twilight lecturing her was pretty funny.
“No, I would never ask you something like that,” she replied to Twilight, “On the contrary, I need you to make me not be in love anymore.”
A little silence ensued.
“What?” asked Twilight, still not very sure she had heard it right.
Rainbow Dash didn’t answer immediately. She knew it was an odd request and wasn’t sure how to explain it. As always, she hadn’t made any plan when coming to see Twilight, she had just thought about getting her friend’s help and was now realizing she should have maybe given a little more thought into it.
Still, she had to say something, would it only be to try and slow down Twilight’s wild imagination.
“I would like to not be in love anymore. I heard you can make a pony magically fall in love, so I guessed you can also make a pony stop being in love the exact same way. Just like removing an illness.” Rainbow Dash explained.
Twilight sighed. She was tired, the whole thing was getting from ridiculous to straight absurd and she didn’t know if she was really willing to take the time to explain to her friend everything that was wrong with her reasoning. Heck, she wasn’t even sure where she would begin and her bed was calling for her. But it was Rainbow Dash, her dear friend, and she felt the duty to help her to the best of her abilities.
“Okay Rainbow Dash,” began Twilight, “You have to understand that love is not an illness in any way. You can’t “cure it”. And you shouldn’t either if it were possible. Being in love is one of the best things that can happen in a pony’s life. Granted you have got not to be blinded by it, but you should acknowledge and embrace your love and try to make the best out of it.”
“But what if you don’t want to be with the one you’re in love with?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“That doesn’t make sense.” replied Twilight instinctively.
And it truly didn’t in her mind. If a pony was to love another one, it was logical to expect from that pony to want to be close to and spend time with the other pony. In other word, not wanting to be with somepony was pretty much saying she wasn’t in love to begin with.
“You don’t understand Twilight. She is a mare.”
“What?” asked Twilight once again.
At first, The alicorn thought she hadn’t heard the end of the sentence, like “she is a mare who is like something or does something”. So it took her some times to realize exactly what was going on. And even then, she wasn’t certain how to react. She just didn’t see how it was making any difference whatsoever with the whole love problem.
And then she remembered that Rainbow Dash was a pegasus from Cloudsdale.
“You see why you need to make me stop loving her? I can’t be in love with a mare.” said Rainbow Dash.
Twilight didn’t know how to react. She just didn’t. She wanted to say so many things, and had to accept so many others at the same time. She was conscious that she wasn’t ready to deal with the issue and was more than probably going to let her own considerations come into her reply. The wisest thing to do would have been to just shut up. But then again, she had to try and help her friend, not really knowing how she could help at that point, seeing how their points of view were diverging.
“Look,” carefully said Twilight, “I’m not really sure I’m the one you should be speaking with about this. I mean, I personally don’t see any problem with a mare loving another mare, or a stallion loving another stallion. I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Rainbow Dash, surprised, “I’m not talking to you about other mares loving mares or some stallion being with a stallion. I don’t care about that, the others can do whatever they want to do, it’s just fine with me.”
And Rainbow Dash had said that almost laughing, as if it was a relief to think about the others and how much she just didn’t care. It was giving her a break from her own problems. But she came back to her own personal case and continued:
“What I’m telling you,” Rainbow Dash said, looking directly in Twilight's eyes, “is that I’ve encountered a mare that I’ve fallen in love with and that I don’t want to be in love with her, because I, personally, cannot be with a mare. Not talking about the others, just me. I don’t want to be with a mare, I can’t.”
This was getting complicated. Or extremely simple. Twilight wasn’t sure anymore. She wasn’t sure anymore what her friend was expecting from her at that point. And at a certain point, the whole conversation was beginning to embarrass her.
“I just don’t understand what you want from me then…” said Twilight. “I mean, I hear you very well. But what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to free me from my feelings for that mare so I can go back to my normal life and become who I was before once again.” explained Rainbow Dash with a smile, as if she was asking for the most normal thing in the world.
Twilight sighed. It was taking more time than necessary at that point.
“I already told you that love isn’t something that can be cured, given or removed just like that. Even Cadence can only strengthen love, not create it out of nowhere. Love is one of the strongest and mysterious magic that we know of.” the alicorn explained.
“But what am I supposed to do?” asked Rainbow Dash, suddenly panicked as she was finally understanding her plan wouldn’t work. “I can’t live like that, being in love with a mare. I want to go back to the one I was before.”
“Oh come on now!” said Twilight, exasperated, “You can’t really be in love with her like you say. If it were true, you wouldn’t care about who she is and what gender she is.”
Twilight was going to continue about how being in love was asking from a pony to behave a certain way, mostly being totally blind and illogical, but her friend didn’t let her the time to.
“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t love her!” shouted Rainbow Dash, suddenly enraged. “I’m maybe ashamed of it, I do want it to stop, but I love her with all my heart and soul!”
Twilight didn’t know how to react. The outburst of her friend was frightening her a little and she was surprised to see such a reaction when she thought it was all just a little strange drama.
“Do you know how it feels to love someone but not being able to be with her?” asked Rainbow Dash, still very angry, “I spend my whole days thinking about her, I dream about her, about how we could be together, how happy it would be to raise a family with her and to get old with one another. I see her smile and my heart enters a race. I see her eyes and get lost inside them. I hear her voice and the whole world just get filled with a beautiful music for the days to come. Maybe I don’t know anything about love, maybe it isn’t love, I don’t care. All I know is that she hasn’t left my mind for two months since I’ve first seen her and that nothing I’ve tried has helped me forgetting about her.”
Rainbow Dash wasn’t angry anymore. She was sad. And it was heartbreaking to see her mourn like that instead of being the awesome mare she usually was.
“I know that some day, she will meet a stallion and they will end up together.” said Rainbow Dash, slowly, “And I’ll be there, on the side, watching and regretting that it couldn’t have been me. She will never know how important she is to me, and how much I would have liked to be with her.”
Twilight wasn’t sure how to respond. Once again, the whole thing was a little too much for her without any preparation. But then, there was at least one thing that was bothering her more than everything else:
“But if you like her so much, why don’t you at least try? What can possibly make it “impossible” as you say if you haven’t even told her you love her?” the alicorn asked.
“I told you I can’t be with her.” Rainbow Dash replied, “What would the other pegasus say back in Cloudsdale? Maybe I’m just a big coward, but I don’t think I could assume the pressure from everypony for the rest of my life. And what would my family think of me then? Or even my friends? I wasn’t even sure how you would react!”
Twilight began to understand, but couldn’t answer as Rainbow Dash was continuing her explanations:
“And if there was only that, I could try to consider going against the whole society to be with her. But I want to have a family at some point. I may not look like it, but I want kids too. My very own kids.”
This was really beginning to finally be clear, but the clearer it was getting, the less Twilight knew what she should respond. And didn’t have to at that moment, given that Rainbow Dash continued:
“And what about her? I mean, even if I was willing to accept to fight society for our happiness, forget about my own kids and accept I don’t know what other sacrifices to be together, how can I expect her to make the same sacrifices to be with me? I could go through it because I’m awesome, but not everypony is as awesome as I am. I can’t ask so much from her just for the sake of my selfish happiness…”
This time Rainbow Dash stopped talking, having finished saying what she had to say. And Twilight would never know, but Rainbow Dash was actually very proud of what she had just said. She had begun to think that Twilight was right and that she was overdramatizing the situation, but having to justify herself, she had realized she did have very good reasons to be worried and wasn’t just being some big crybaby.
The pegasus waited for Twilight’s response, but it didn’t come as fast as she would have wanted.
In fact, Twilight was just beginning to see how difficult the matter was and didn’t think she would be able to find any solution, if there was any to begin with, just like that, in a few minute when being tired after a long day of work. This was just asking too much from her.
The alicorn looked at her friend who put up an awkward smile to try and put Twilight at ease. One of those smile saying: “please, I don’t want to look like I’m begging you for help there, but I’m begging you for help.”
And of course, Twilight didn’t want to disappoint her friend.
She finally thought of at least one thing that she could use as an answer that couldn’t be wrong to do.
“You know Rainbow Dash, I can’t put up a miracle just like that and solve everything, I’m sorry.” Twilight told her friend, getting two big puppy eyes in return, “However, I can say that I now understand what you’re feeling a little better and I see how complex and difficult it must be for you. And there is at least one thing I can do for you.”
“Yes? What is it?” asked Rainbow Dash eagerly, her hopes suddenly rising again.
“I can convince you to go talk to that mare. After all, she is as much concerned by the situation as you are. If a solution has to be found there, she should be consulted too, don’t you think?” proposed Twilight.
Rainbow Dash gasped and, obviously, refused:
“No, we can’t. What would I say? I can’t just walk to her like that and… and I don’t even know what. And what if she laughs at me? What if she isn’t interested in mares to begin with? What would I reply? How could I explain, what would I look like?”
The pegasus was getting very anxious about the idea, but twilight helped her simmer down.
“You came here to ask me to help you, didn’t you?” asked Twilight, gently smiling, “So let me help you. If you really want to be happy, you’ll need to find the courage to go talk to her. And I’m not asking you to do anything special. You would have to go talk to her anyway at one point or another. Who knows, she may have been admiring you from afar for all you know.”
“But what if she doesn’t like mares… What if she doesn’t like me?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Well, then it’s just like with a stallion. If the other pony really doesn’t want to be with you, you have to let it go. You can’t force her. But that’s a risk everypony has to take in her life.” answered Twilight.
“I wish I were a stallion.” surprisingly replied the pegasus.
“Why? You think you would have more chance that she would like you if you were a stallion? You would be surprised… I think that, in the end, it doesn’t change that much.” the alicorn genuinely replied.
“It’s not that. I was just thinking that it would be easier being a stallion, seeing how they don’t have to go through all that emotional stuff we mares have to face.”
Twilight sighed. Seriously? She gave up explaining that one to her friend. Rainbow Dash was a great pony, a loyal, kind and strong pony with a heart of gold. But she was also the type of mare who had to use the stereotypes to make her life easier and was living through her emotions instead of mastering them. There was nothing wrong with it, on the contrary it was one of her best quality to be able to feel things instead of having to understand them before doing anything, but sometimes it would lead her to say or think things really absurd.
“I can come with you if it can help.” said Twilight, coming back to the subject.
“What? Right now?” replied Rainbow Dash, afraid.
“Of course right now. I won’t let you the time to get some second thought and back away.”
Actually, Twilight didn’t want to come only to make sure her friend was doing what was right, but also because she was very curious to meet that mare that had been able to steal her friend’s heart.
Rainbow Dash gave up and accepted to go see the mare. Twilight realized that it was almost too easy. She figured out that she had awaited from Rainbow Dash to flee the very confrontation, because confessing her love to the mare was also confessing that she could love mares to the rest of Equestria which, because of her being a pegasus, could damage that reputation she was so concerned about. In the end, Rainbow Dash's fast acceptance of her proposition finally convinced Twilight that her friend do was in love.
“She works in the new restaurant. You can imagine how often I’ve been going to eat there lately.” Rainbow Dash explained.
Twilight had heard about a new restaurant opening, but had had no time to go try it. The idea of her friend going there just to be able to see one pony was kind of amusing her. It was almost touching. Or creepy. She wasn’t certain. It mostly depended on the point of view.
And the two mares finally left the library as the low sun was announcing it was coming time for dinner. They headed for the restaurant and Twilight, on the way, asked Rainbow Dash if she would accept to write a letter to princess Celestia when it would be all finished.
“I know you don’t want to involve too much ponies into your intimate problems, but I know the princess would be really happy to hear about what happened.” Twilight explained, “And I can assure you the princess won’t judge you.”
“I would be honored.” answered Rainbow Dash, who was feeling way lighter than before being on her way to talk to the one she loved. “I could tell her how I learned that you should never try to flee from your feelings for somepony, even if you know others might disapprove of them. I could tell her that we should accept them and, as you said, try to acknowledge and embrace your love and try to make the best out of it.”
Twilight smiled. It would make a good lesson.
They finally arrived at the restaurant and Twilight asked her friend to tell her which one of the waitress was the mare she was in love with.
“Here she is, she is the one who just came out. You see her, with the red mane?” Rainbow Dash said, while discretely pointing in the direction of a pony with her hoof.
Twilight looked and suddenly asked:
“You mean the pony with the red mane and blue eyes? The one that is discussing with the couple there?”
“That’s the one.” answered, proudly for some reason, Rainbow Dash.
Twilight sighed.
“Rainbow Dash,” she told her friend, “She is a stallion.”
“What?”
Both mares stood there, looking at each other for a moment. Twilight was looking at her friend with those eyes that were saying “seriously?” and was trying her best not to be angry, but was kind of upset. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was looking at her friend with eyes that were saying “seriously?” and was trying to know it the alicorn was making a fool of her or was serious about saying the mare she loved was actually a stallion.
“She is a stallion.” Twilight repeated, before correcting: “He is a stallion. I know he looks a lot like a mare, that’s granted, but I know him, he is one of the Bakes’ nephews if I remember correctly and despite his look, he is definitely a stallion. Problem solved.”
“What?” asked Rainbow Dash, still not able to realize what was going on.
“You don’t love mares like you thought you did, you were in love with a stallion all along. This makes it a lot easier, doesn’t it?” replied Twilight, finally relieved about how the things had turned out to be, mostly because it meant she could go to bed knowing everything was going to be okay.
“That’s not possible!” said Rainbow Dash.
“Sorry, but that’s the truth. He is a stallion.” replied Twilight, almost enjoying her friend’s surprise and incredulity.
“That’s not what I meant.” responded Rainbow Dash. “I meant: it’s not possible, I can’t love a stallion that looks just like a mare. What would I look like in front of the others? Stallions are supposed to look strong and, well, like stallions!”
“What?” asked Twilight, not sure she was understanding her friend’s reaction, or mostly wanted to understand her friend’s reaction.
“Sorry I bothered you with all that Twi’. I didn’t know he was a stallion, my bad.” Rainbow Dash suddenly said, almost laughing. “I can’t believe how silly I’ve been acting. Let’s forget about the whole thing, okay?”
“But…” began Twilight, “What about him, what about you? Aren’t you going to talk with him?”
“Why would I?” asked Rainbow Dash as if it was logical. “It’s not like I’m going to end up with him. I would look just ridiculous, I need a real stallion by my side." and then she added: "Well, I’m hungry, aren’t you hungry? I better go home and eat something. Bye Twi’.”
And without any further due, the pegasus took off and flew away back to her home, leaving only a trail of rainbow behind her and a very, very lost Twilight.
The alicorn was at loss of words. She didn’t know if she wanted to be surprised, angry, disappointed, relieved or just laugh about the whole thing.
“Oh Rainbow Dash…” she tried to begin, but couldn’t finish.
Twilight tried to understand exactly what had happened since her friend had come into the library, but gave up. Her personality and the personality of her friends were too far apart for her to be able to understand it well enough.
And something told the alicorn that the whole thing wasn’t as bad as she was thinking it might have been. In fact, she was beginning to realize she was envying her friend’s spontaneity and passion.
Still, she was a little frustrated about her friend’s behavior.
“One day, Rainbow Dash, one day you’ll learn.” Twilight said to herself, “I guess you just need to learn your own way, and at your own pace.”
And then, Twilight went back to the library, to find her bed and some well earned sleep, without knowing that she would find out her tree had been invaded by Spike and the whole town hall for the after party.
Because the party never ends and we have to enjoy each second of it our own way.
THE END
Author's Note
I've been wanting to write that story since so long... It was originally supposed to be about same sex love, until I realized I just don't know anything about the subject whatsoever.
But I liked the story anyway, so I wanted to write it. The core components were:
- Rainbow Dash confess she loves a mare, but doesn't like the idea.
- They go see the mare and Twilight finds out he is a stallion.
I just want to add that I found out the story is talking about other subjects there:
- being a brony (refusing to love something because it's not "normal")
- princess Twilight (nostalgia from the past, wanting to come back to who we were before)
- what love means (between what we expect from someone in love, how someone can "feel" being in love and, in the end, how strange and volatile the feeling is.
- understanding others. Tolerance is one thing, but understanding is another, which asks a lot more energy and is really hard. But if you take the time, you find out that someone that you thought was saying something totally stupid had some good reason to say them and/or think them.
- learning.
Actually, learning came while writing. Because at first, Twilight was supposed to explain to RD why it wasn't such a big deal that she was in love with a mare.
The title is a joke, as RD in the story (and kind of also in the show) is the kind of person that takes its time learning her lesson (doing the same mistakes again and again). But she learns nonetheless. Just in another way that the one I'm personnally used to learn. Less reflexion, more experience.
And learning is a process that supposes you know more after you've learned than before you've learned. But writing that story, I figrued out I was wrong about my conception of things and what I thought was true, but didn't get any answer to fill in the void. Still, I felt like I had learned something.
So maybe learning is also, sometimes, just noticing that something isn't the way we thought it was and knowing less than before, in term of what is and what isn't, but expanding the spectrum of possibilities at the same time.
Two last thing:
- this time, I wrote the story I said I would write ^^.
- it was supposed to be a 1'500 words story, not 4'500. How come they always end up longer than I expect them to be...
