Ponyville Zero

by Polygrammar

Pinkie, just shut up!

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"The time for waiting is over."

-Elizabeth Greene

“It’s still your turn Mercer.”

“I know.”

“Then why aren’t you going?”

“Cause if I do we’ll keep playing.”

“That’s the point silly!”

“…Fine, do you have any twos?”

“Yep, here ya go!”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome! Do you have any sevens?”

“No.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘go fish’.”

“…No.”

The conversation was, obviously, based around Pinkie and Mercer playing a rousing and stimulating game of “Go Fish”. A game which Pinkie all but forced Mercer to play. She didn’t actually make him, but it was either that or racing snails, which she claimed would have been “the most fun you can ever have with snails!” He had sided with the lesser of two evils.

They sat out in the park, where Mercer had made the mistake of walking through on his way to Berry Punch’s store to “relieve” her of work. In an instant Pinkie had been right next to him, talking a mile a minute and eventually dragging him back to where her and two baby ponies were set up for a picnic. The foals were taking a nap, and Pinkie had been bored up until Mercer showed up. He was hoping for the perfect chance to sneak away, but his last two attempts had turned up with her suddenly popping out from behind a tree and asking him where he was going, so his odds weren’t looking good.

“Do you have any Jokers?”

“No-wait, Jokers? Pinkie you’re supposed to take those out of the deck!”

“But if I did that then they wouldn’t be able to play too!”

“It’s an inanimate object; it’s not going to…” He paused. “…Why am I having this conversation with you?” He placed his cards on the ground, signaling he had given up. “Well, it’s been fun Pinkie, but I should get going-”

“Wait! I was just going to get another game! How about next we play ‘Monopony’!”

He was just about to object and say he’d rather swallow hot coals when they heard another voice call out to them. He was surprised to see Rainbow Dash gliding down to them, waving a hoof as she descended. She landed right next to the blanket Pinkie had set out for the foals to play on, folding her wings and sitting down next to them. “What are you guys playing? Poker?” She asked when she saw the cards.

“I wish…” Mercer mumbled.

Rainbow looked apologetic. “So, Pinkie, what are you doing out here today? Did the Cakes give you a day off?”

“Yep! They asked me to watch the twins while they cleaned up Sugarcube Corner, so I brought them out here for a picnic!” Her usual happy personality made it impossible for her smile to leave her face.

Rainbow Dash looked confused. “Why did they need to clean up Sugarcube Corner?”

“Well I was trying to make a super yummy cake for Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s anniversary that’s coming up, and I might have used a little too much flour.” She indicated the amount by bringing both her hooves close together.

Rainbow Dash nodded her head. “Yeah, that’s just about what I figured happened.”

The two friends continued to talk, while Mercer let his mind wander to more important matters. Partly having to do with his continued planning of dealing with the rainbow haired mare sitting three feet away from him, but mostly about the nosy zebra that he still had to hunt down and kill. Rainbow Dash could wait since she didn’t actually know anything about her impending doom; but Zecora had caught wind of his decision to kill her, evident by the discovery of her hut left abandoned when he went for a visit in the Everfree forest. She was using some kind of herbal mixture that messed up his sense of smell to cover her tracks, and the more he sniffed around for her the more it screwed him up.

In the meantime he had to keep up the Berry Punch ruse since no one knew she was dead yet, and that meant acting like she was still hard at work as usual while he searched for leads on where she could have gone. So far he had found only dead ends, but he wouldn’t be deterred. That zebra couldn’t hide forever.

The sound of a baby crying interrupted his thoughts, his attention turning to one of the foals lying on the blanket. She was awake, and apparently not happy about it.

Pinkie walked over and picked the foal up, slowly rocking her in her hooves and trying to get her back to sleep. “Sshh, Pumpkin Cake, please don’t wake your brother up!” She whispered loudly, the sound only making the baby more upset. “Just go back to sleep, there there.” Her soothing voice didn’t help much. “Do you want a bottle?” Pinkie offered the now screaming foal a bottle of milk, which she refused. Pinkie began to panic, obviously not very experienced with dealing with babies. She began crying too when her next offering of a stuffed animal didn’t manage to calm the baby down either.

Mercer rolled his eyes. “She needs to be changed.” Pinkie stopped crying, looking first at him and then the baby, lifting her up so her diaper was near her nose and taking in a long whiff. She recoiled immediately.

“Blegh! You are stinky!” She laid the baby down and reached for the extra diapers, beginning the unpopular task of changing the foal. When she was done, she tossed the dirty diaper in a waste basket nearby and laid the foal back down, smiling when she closed her eyes contentedly and went back to sleep. She turned back to Mercer, surprise written on her face. “Wow, how did you know that was what was wrong with her?”

“I used to babysit a lot when I was younger.” He said simply.

Rainbow Dash looked at him curiously. “Did you run a day care or something?”

“No, I just babysat a lot. End of story.”

“Did you have a little sister?” When Mercer didn’t respond Rainbow got the message. “Oh…I see.”

“I don’t! Did you have a little sister or not?” Pinkie Pie chirped in.

Rainbow Dash waved her hooves to try to stop her friend from saying anything else. “Pinkie, I don’t think he wants to talk about it-”

“But I wanna know! Who was your sister, Mercer?”

“Pinkie he doesn’t-”

“Was her name Dana?”

Mercer stiffened, his eyes going wide. “…What did you just say?”

“Well, the other day when we were walking to go visit Rainbow Dash you said ‘Dana’ all sad like you were remembering something. Who’s Dana?”

Rainbow Dash had quit trying to stop her at that point, awkwardly watching as her oblivious friend dug herself deeper into a hole. Mercer felt himself growing angry, trying to just ignore her and utterly failing. “…Pinkie, I’m warning you now, drop it.”

She seemed confused. “Did I do something wrong? I was just asking if your sister’s name was-”

Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Pinkie, that’s enough.”

Mercer was trying his hardest to push down his memories of Dana, but was finding it hard to since he was also trying his hardest not to rip Pinkie Pie in half. “She’s no one. Now just forget it.”

“But-”

Forget it!

Pinkie gave him a sympathetic look, ignoring Mercer’s advice to drop it and asking “Is Dana the reason why you’re always so sad?”

He glared at the pink pony, suddenly seeing nothing but red. His efforts to contain his anger failed as he exploded in a rage. “Don’t you ever say that name to me again!” He shouted at her. “You have no right to speak of her! I don’t care how helpful you think you’re being, stay out of my business!” He quickly stood to his feet. “Quit trying to help me! I don’t need your sympathy and I sure as hell don’t need your friendship!” He stormed away, unaware of the sad look that had come over Pinkie’s face or the tears starting to form in her eyes.


He had fumed the whole way through town, so angry he didn’t even realize where his feet were taking him until he found himself coming around the corner to the street Berry Punch’s shop was. He kept heading down the road, watching the door of her shop, wishing he could just level it and pretend like Berry died in a horrible accident. He sighed, continuing on his way.

‘Calm down, Mercer. She’s not worth it,’ He told himself, taking deep, slow breaths to calm his nerves. It wasn’t working; he found himself just getting angrier. He stopped in the middle of the street and hung his head, grudgingly letting the memories of his sister flood his mind. He had always promised to protect her, but in the end, he had left. He had gotten an offer from Gentek to work for them when he was 23, and moved to New York in a heartbeat. He didn’t even think about his sister; about leaving her behind. He hadn’t even known that she had moved there to find him five years later until after the first outbreak.

He shook his head. It didn’t matter anymore. For all Dana knew, Mercer was dead, consumed by Heller. She had no way of knowing he was actually here in Equestria, being followed and tormented by the locals and the memories of her that refused to let him go. He sighed again. Perhaps it wasn’t Pinkie he was mad at; maybe he was just now realizing how much he hated himself.

He started walking to the door of the shop again, the feeling of calm slowly washing the anger out of his mind, improving his mood considerably. As he reached the door, he placed a hoof on it and gave it a shove. It didn’t budge. He pushed a little harder, thinking it was just stuck. It still refused to move. He narrowed his eyes, bringing his hoof back and giving the stubborn door a powerful kick that knocked it off its hinges, sending it flying into the shop with an amazing amount of force. He smiled. He may have to fix it now, but at least it helped him blow off some of that anger.

He entered the shop, immediately shifting his form so that he looked like Berry Punch. He walked to the desk near the back and started pulling out random papers and placing them in folders and cubby holes, giving it that “hard at work” feel in case anyone decided to stop by. He wandered around the shop, placing things in random orders and adjusting jars of jam so it looked like she had been working all day. As he got to the back he felt a tickle climbing up his throat; a familiar feeling that he couldn’t place. He began coughing, quietly at first but it slowly got worse and worse. Pain erupted all the way up his esophagus, causing him to grab his throat as he continued to cough.

He backed up and harshly and slammed into a shelf, falling over with it and sending broken glass and homemade jelly spreading out across the floor. As he forced himself to his feet again, he tried to think of what could possibly be happening to him. The only time he’d become this crippled from something was when he’d breathed in-

“Bloodtox.” He realized with a start. Someone had filled the air inside the entire shop with a form of it he wasn’t immune to. He turned and sprinted for the doorway, knowing if he just got out of it quickly the effects would go away. He launched himself out of the poisonous shop and into the fresh air outside, rolling on the ground a few times before coming to a stop. He coughed a few more times, the pain caused by the Bloodtox already beginning to subside. He rolled over and tried picking himself up off the ground, finding his strength returning to him slowly.

“Had you not stopped to take a nap, you would have noticed the signs of my trap.” Mercer froze, recognizing that voice and way of speaking immediately. “Now that I have discovered your weakness, it is time to rid the world of your sickness.” Mercer looked up just in time to see Zecora throw a bucket of light blue powder on him. Instantly his entire body was wracked in agony, the simple touch of the powder burning like a brand. He clenched his teeth, attempting to stand but finding that his strength had left him completely. “Let your suffering end, just take a deep breath; it will all be over upon your death.”

“You bitch!” He managed to growl out. She watched him for a moment longer before striding past his prone form and heading down the road. “Where do you think you’re going? Come back here you-” Another wave of pain cut him off, his vision darkening as he watched the retreating form of the zebra round the corner at the end of the street.


Author's Note

*Gasp* What!? I don't even know anymore...

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