Rainbow Flash and the Mysterious Mare Do Well

by HoovesMcCoy

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Mare Do Well, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance
Length: 25561

Twilight and Rainbow Dash investigate a comic book with suspicious parallels to their lives.

Ponyville is obsessed with a new comic book about local superheroes The Mysterious Mare Do Well and Rainbow Flash.

Mare Do Well's secret identity as a mild-mannered unicorn librarian is unsettling enough, but the comic writer seems to know much more than they should about Ponyville's secrets, and possibly even its future.

If the comics are right, Ponyville is going to need real heroes. Heroes like Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.

Published 2013-05-14 09:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-14 09:00:02 UTC

Issue #2: Mares in Manehattan

Twilight woke as the train shuddered to a stop. She had probably slept most of the way to Manehattan. Rainbow Dash was curled up against her again, with a string of drool hanging from her mouth. Twilight couldn't bring herself to wake the pegasus, so she caught the eye of the conductor as he wandered down the aisle waking sleeping passengers who needed to get off the train.

"Excuse me, what stop is this?" Twilight asked softly, careful to keep her voice low.

"We've just pulled into Fillydelphia, Mademoiselle,” the conductor replied in a thick Prancian accent. “We shall remain here for approximately fifteen minutes while we take on fuel and passengers, and then it is an hour to Manehattan. I believe that is your stop, oui?"

"It is, thank you."

The conductor paused before moving on, giving a polite cough, "Will you or your—ahem—friend be wanting anything to drink?"

Twilight blushed. "Oh, no, she's not my marefriend. We're just good friends. Um, no. No I think we'll both be fine."

The conductor raised an eyebrow. "As you wish, Mademoiselle. I did not intend to imply anything untoward. Please forgive me."

He wandered down the aisle waking a sleeping couple a few seats down. A big earth pony stallion and a lithe pegasus mare. She wondered idly how such an ugly stallion wound up with such an attractive mare. It was easier for stallions of course, with the birth rate being what it was, but surely a mare like that could have any stallion she wanted. Or any mare—

No, it was best not to think that way. Twilight wasn't going to meet anypony worth dating on the train. Or in Manehattan for that matter. She couldn't leave her friends in Ponyville. Her romantic aspirations would have to wait until she was back home. But Sweet Celestia, that mare had a fine flank. She was almost as attractive as Rainbow Dash.

Where had that thought come from? Dating your friends was always a bad idea: that’s what all the books and magazines said. And Rainbow was so far out of her league, she’d just be setting herself up for disappointment. It was weird to even think about her friends that way, no matter how lonely she got. Twilight had never had any thoughts like that about Fluttershy or Applejack or Pinkie Pie. And while she'd caught herself admiring Rarity from time to time, she'd moved to Ponyville to escape unicorns like her. Even if Rarity was a dear friend, she was just a little too Canterlot to be anything more than eye candy.

But Rainbow Dash was special. Too special to ruin by developing feelings for her, certainly. Twilight sighed and looked out the window. The train was just starting up again, she watched the bustling station blur into houses which blurred, eventually, into open fields. Rainbow Dash whinnied in her sleep, drawing Twilight out of her reverie. There was definitely a spot of pegasus drool on her shoulder at this point, but she somehow didn't mind.

Twilight levitated a book—Witch-Cults in Western Equestria—out of her bag and held it floating in front of her. It wasn’t quite interesting enough, and her gaze kept falling back across the sleeping rainbow-furred head on her shoulder. By the time they rolled into Manehattan, she’d only read twenty pages, a new low.

Rainbow Dash jerked awake as Twilight stood up, removing the comfortable shoulder on which she’d been sleeping.

"Wake up Dash, we're here."

Dash groaned and rubbed her eyes. “Did you find Scootaloo?”

Twilight pawed at the ground and looked away. “I didn’t have time, sorry. Cheerilee said she wasn’t in school and nopony had seen her, so I left the comic book with Sweetie Belle. She promised she’d deliver it for me.” Twilight looked up sheepishly. “I autographed it too. I hope that’s okay?”

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” The fact that the only light in the room was emanating from the glowing walls and ceiling finally registered. "Is it nighttime already? Why is the ceiling lit by magic?"

"Manehattan Central Station is underground. You didn't know that?"

Rainbow felt a twinge of panic, but tried not to show it. She really didn't want Twi to know how she felt about being underground.

Twilight was oblivious as usual, her voice bright with excitement, "Isn't it wonderful, Dash? It took hundreds of earth ponies to hollow out this station. We're right under the center of the city. They even have a team of unicorns to light up the whole ceiling."

"Yeah, it's real neat. Hey! How come they don't have any pegasai doing anything?"

"There is a huge messenger service run by pegasai. They carry hundreds of messages all over the city every day."

Rainbow looked around nervously at the huge crowd of ponies mulling about. There was hardly room to walk, much less fly. "Oh. That’s cool I guess. So how do we get out of this creepy cave?"

"Everypony's heading in one direction, let’s just follow the crowd." They’d been pushed along a bit already, but only now did Rainbow notice the greater pattern to the press of mares and stallions around her. For the most part they just seemed to be crowding together in an attempt to allow her as little personal space as possible.

The crowd eventually washed the two mares up against one of presumably several sets of steep stairs tunneled into the rock wall. The natural marble was polished by millions of hoofsteps into smooth, rounded steps that had a warm glow in the white magic light.

As the closer ceiling of the stairway closed in overhead, Dash felt her muscles tense even more. The walls were close together on either side, almost forcing the ponies into a single-file line, but allowing enough space on each side that there was a jostling for position. She was constantly bumped into from behind, frequently pushing her into Twilight. Dash worried that she’d trip and be trampled underhoof by the stampede ponies behind her. To make matters worse, every so often somepony in a hurry shoved by on her left, knocking her against the wall. She took deep, regular breaths, just barely managing to stay calm.

Twilight spotted Dash’s impromptu blowfish impression and frowned. "Are you okay Dash? Are you claustrophobic or something?"

"Don't know what you're talkin' about Twi."

"You don't always have to put up a facade with me you know. I'm your friend Dash, you can trust me with anything."

"That's nice Twi, but I still have no idea what clawstrawhatsit means."

"It means you don't like tight spaces."

"Oh, that. Yeah I guess I do... I am... whatever you said. But Fluttershy's the only pegasus I know who likes being inside, it’s not weird! And when you're the fastest flyer in Equestria, you don't want to be cooped up. It puts me down on the same level as everypony else."

"That must be horrid." Twilight’s tone was dry and sarcastic. Dash met her friend’s eyes, worried that she’d been bragging too much again, but Twilight was smiling at her.

"Do these stairs ever end?" Rainbow asked. She’d noticed that Twilight was a little out of breath.

"I hope so. I think the top is just ahead."

Sure enough, they soon emerged into open air, the darkening sky above them a welcome relief from the dull magical ceilings. Twilight gave a sigh of relief almost as loud as Rainbow’s. They looked around, enjoying the sky and the sight of tall buildings reaching up toward it. After a minute, they looked at each other and grinned.

“We’re in Manehattan!” Twilight looked as if she were about to start hopping around in a circle. “It’s so much bigger than Canterlot. And so many ponies!”

Dash had taken flight as soon as there was space overhead and was hanging by her wings a few feet above the ground. She noticed a few other pegasai were doing the same thing and suddenly felt a lot better about herself.

It wasn't quite nighttime yet, but the sun was hidden behind the imposing city skyline. Ponies of all shapes and sizes bustled along the wide streets, going in and out of various shops and restaurants. Their constant hoofsteps echoing off the surrounding buildings made it sound as if the city were growling at them, low and dangerous.

Dash broke the silence first, as usual. "So where are we going and how do we find it?"

Twilight levitated a piece of paper out of her saddlebag. "Well, I spoke to Applejack while you were napping and she told me we should stay with her Aunt and Uncle Orange. She wrote us a letter of introduction and gave me directions to their house."

"AJ wants us to stay with her frou-frou relatives? Didn't she move back to Ponyville because she couldn't stand them?"

"I think she just missed her life on the farm. Either way, she insists that no Apple relation would turn away a friend of the family. She wrote them a pretty substantial letter, with pictures of Apple Bloom and all kinds of family news. I don't think they'll mind. I tried to tell Applejack we could just get a hotel, but you know how stubborn she can get."

"Sooooo, how do we get there?"

"Well I've got an address, and AJ told me it's in Princesses, which is on the East side of the city. So I figure we should start walking East until we find somepony we can ask for directions. So if we walk away from the sun, we should be going East. Come on."

Rainbow shrugged and followed Twilight. "Have you been here before Twi?"

"No, but I've read about the city. It's supposed to be much bigger than Canterlot, and it's even more significant as a cultural hub."

"So you really don't know where we're going."

Twilight’s horn glowed softly, extracting a tightly wound scroll from her bags. She unfurled it proudly. "Well I brought a map. It has all the major districts of the city and the most important roads. I’m not exactly sure where we are now, but you can see that walking East, we’ll eventually cross Lunar Avenue, and then we'll be in Princesses. Somepony there should be able to point us to the right street easily."

It didn’t come as a huge surprise to Dash when Twilight’s plan didn’t come together as she’d planned. Many of the streets were unmarked or had street signs painted over with random initials or profanity. Those ponies they could even get to talk to them offered at best vague waves of their hooves when asked for directions. Before long the sun had set and the two mares were completely lost.

Dash laid down a nearby bench, pulling an apple from her saddlebag, "You're sure that wasn't Lunar Avenue we just crossed, the one with all the spruce trees down the middle?"

"No, I'm not sure, Rainbow, but even if it was, we didn't see anypony to ask. No one seems to be talking to us anymore."

Dash shook out her wings, stretching. "You're sure I shouldn't fly up and look around?"

"For what? What do you think you're going to see?"

"Umm. Streets?"

"They won't be labeled from above. And—"

"What is it?" Dash asked, hopping back off the bench and continuing to walk.

"And I don't want to be left alone down here, alright? You make me feel safe." Twilight muttered, looking away from Dash, blushing.

As they passed in front of an alley, Dash noticed an old yellow earth pony quaking in her horseshoes in front of a young, tough-looking light-blue unicorn.

“P-Please don’t hurt me. That’s all the money I have,” the old pony stuttered. No way a real hero would let something like this slide.

“Stop right there criminal scum!” Dash leapt into the air and adopted a cool-looking stance she’d seen Pinkie use once. She took one last bite of her apple and dropped it to the ground. Doing anything in mid-air definitely made it cooler.

“Dash, help!” Twilight cried out. The yellow granny had scampered off already, but Twi’s scream made her forget all about her rescuee. Twilight was in trouble.

Rainbow spun around and saw another unicorn stallion, this one grey with a tan mane, who must have emerged from one of the even smaller alleys branching off this one. He stood near Twilight with a pair of hedge clippers held to her horn. Twilight wasn’t moving at all. She looked terrified, afraid to so much as twitch.

"What are a couple of pretty young things like you doing out here all by yourselves?" The grey unicorn asked, while his light-blue friend edged around behind Dash’s back. She couldn’t take her eyes off those hedge clippers though.

A voice came from behind and somewhat below her. "Would you look at the flank on that pegasus. I don't think I ever had a filly that fine. Then again I ain’t been with a filly since I got out of prison. Maybe I’m just excitable.”

"Bet you got plenty o' love in prison though,” said the stallion who was now just a few feet behind Twilight.

Dash hovered a little to the side, hoping to keep the blue one from getting directly below her. She managed to drift closer to the wall as the other stallion raised his voice and yelled at his friend. "That ain't funny and you know it. I ain't no colt cuddler."

Twilight couldn’t believe that two ponies in the midst of threatening her life could be so homophobic. She hoped the one behind her would be distracted enough for her to make a move. All it would take would be an simple teleportation spell. As soon as the first fleck of magic entered her horn, however, she felt the metal brush against her. She shuddered—unicorn horns were very sensitive.

There was a raspy voice right next to her ear. "Now listen here missy, you stop doin' whatever it is you think you was doin'. I see any kinda glow from that horn, and I'm gonna take it off.” He raised his voice to be heard at the other end of the alley. “That goes for you too, Miss Pegasus. You come at me, you run away, you look at me funny, and your girlfriend here is gonna be an Earth Pony."

Dash looked furious. Not terrified, furious. Twilight mustered up bravado she didn’t know she had. "The guards will come running as soon as you do. If they aren’t on their way already."

"It’ll be too late for you though. And we're pretty good at running from the guards."

She was as still as she could manage, but every little twitch set Twilight’s horn against the clippers. That edge scraping against her hurt a bit, but it was somehow more terrifying than fighting Nightmare Moon. If those blades closed she wouldn’t just die, she’d lose her magic. And probably die painfully. Horn injuries were often fatal in their own right. She half-hoped Rainbow would rescue her, half-hoped she would just go along with them and give them what they wanted so Twilight could walk away from this alive.

Rainbow Dash had stopped moving, and looked more thoughtful than she had a few moments ago. Sweet Celestia, she’s planning something. The blue unicorn had moved to where Dash’s saddlebags had fallen when she took off to save the old mare and he was picking through them, presumably looking for anything of value.

Twilight met Dash’s eyes, and the pegasus winked at her. Not sure whether to be more terrified of Dash’s plan or the stallion behind her, Twilight kept still and silent, lest she give the muggers any warning. She needed to be ready in case whatever Dash did gave her an opening. She steadied herself with a deep breath. A unicorn didn’t get her horn cut off without a fight.

Dash wrinkled her nose and let out an enormous sneeze. Her wings flapped forward in a way that looked to Twilight much more like a flight movement than a reflex. There was a scream from behind and as soon as the pressure from the tool resting on the top of her head let up, she brought her horn down and forward as quickly as she could. Something scraped Twlight’s horn. She screamed.

The pain was sharp and hot but when she put a forehoof to her head, the horn was still there. So was the stallion, presumably. Twilight took her best guess at his location and bucked as hard as she could—like Applejack had taught with her—and felt her hooves connect solidly with something fleshy. There was another scream, a thump, and the clatter of metal skidding across the cobblestones.

Twilight looked up to the other stallion. His horn was glowing and he had a terrifying number of knives floating over his head, aimed at Rainbow Dash. Worse, he was taking a moment to aim, and Dash probably couldn’t see him from her spot above.

"Look out," Twilight screamed. She fired a blast of the first spell that came to mind—a sleep spell—at the remaining unicorn, hoping against hope to catch him before he launched the knives. He crumpled to the ground almost immediately, sparks flying from his horn and de-animated knives skittering across the ground. Twilight’s head felt like it was about to explode.

As she turned around, the grey stallion was struggling to his hooves, blood dribbling down his snout and bruises forming at the front of his chest. Before Twilight could do anything, a rainbow blur swooped down from overhead, slamming into the stallion. His head bounced off the wall and Rainbow Dash hovered over him for a moment before her wings stopped buzzing and she landed beside Twilight.

"I think he's going to stay down, but let's find something to tie him up with—is your horn okay, Twi?"

Twilight's horn did not feel alright. It felt like she was bleeding, but as she felt her forehead with her hoof, she didn't feel anything wet. Her hoof just felt tingly, like her entire foreleg was full of pins and needles. She placed her hoof back on the ground and it almost gave out underneath her. A few seconds later, the feeling returned to her leg, although she was getting a bit dizzy.

Dash ran to her side, her voice quiet and trembling, "You'd better sit down Twilight. You don't look so good."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Well, your horn is sparking all over the place, little purple lightning bolts. You look awfully pale."

"Can you see if there’s any damage to my horn?"

"It's still there if that's what you're asking. I think I see a little scratch on the side of it though. Could that cause something like this?"

Twilight didn’t know her heart could beat any faster, but it did. "Yes. Oh Celestia, yes. If he cut deep enough, I could lose control of my magic forever. I'm going to have to have magic surgery."

"It doesn't look all that bad. I'd better get help though. But... um, Twi?"

"What is it Rainbow?"

"What did you hit this guy with?"

"A simple knock-out spell. Why?"

Twilight dragged herself over to the blue unicorn, still collapsed on the pavement. Every hair on his body was standing on end, blood was dripping out of his ears, and violet lightning crackled across his body.

Dash let out a low whistle. "Remind me never to piss you off."

Twilight glared at her, still shaking, still unsteady on her hooves. "That's not funny Dash. Is he breathing?"

Rainbow knelt and put a hoof to his neck and nodded. "Yeah, he's alive."

"Step away from the body," commanded a gruff voice from behind them—the direction of the main street.

Twilight turned again, her headache getting worse by the moment. A big earth pony in a police uniform stood before her, with a unicorn and a pegasus in identical uniforms standing to either side and slightly back.

Twilight wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or afraid. Before she could make up her mind, Dash spoke up. "Hey, they attacked us!” The police ponies didn’t look convinced. “My friend is hurt, we need to get her to a doctor. I think they cut her horn with those big scissor thingies."

"That may be," said the earth pony, "but we're going to have to take you all in for questioning. From the looks of things, these two need a doctor even more than your friend does."

The unicorn behind him spoke up, low and serious, "Sarge, those sparks aren't good. Classic sign of horn trauma."

The sergeant sighed. "Very well. Order, you escort our hurt little unicorn to the hospital, bring her around to the station once she’s patched up. Law, you stay here with me until the ambulance arrives, make sure these two are cuffed to their beds until we sort this whole thing out. What's your name pegasus?"

Dash puffed out her chest, attempting to recapture her normal air of superiority but suspecting she was too shaken up to be entirely convincing, "I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria. You've probably heard of me."

The sergeant looked unimpressed. "I haven't."

The pegasus officer, however, seemed to know who she was. "Did you say Rainbow Flash? Like in the comics?"

"It's Rainbow Dash,” she huffed. They got my name wrong."

The sergeant growled at her, "I want your real name, missy."

"That is her real name," Twilight finally managed to say, through the thick gauze surrounding her brain and horn. "And I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal protégé to Princess Celestia. My brother is Shining Armor, captain of the royal guard. I swear we didn't mean to hurt those ponies, and if you want a character reference, I urge you to contact the Princess."

"We got us a big-shot here. You'll still have to come to the station miss. We'll check that out, but I don't care who you are, you can't just beat the snot out of somepony in a back alley."

Just then, an ambulance pulled up and disgorged several nurses. "Come along Miss Sparkle, we'll get you seen to at the hospital." The unicorn nudged her toward the ambulance, keeping an eye on the nurses swarming around the two fallen muggers.

"And you can tell us all about what it's like being friends with Rainbow Flash," said the pegasus officer, grinning like a school-colt.

Rainbow Dash was standing in a small stone room with one bright light hanging over a table in the center. She refused to sit down at the table, but had been in here so long, she was ready to bounce off the walls. She didn't want to cause trouble though. Twilight had sounded sure the Princess or her brother would get them out, but she didn't want to complicate that.

A key scraped against the lock and the door creaked open. The earth pony sergeant came in and sat in front of the table, gesturing for her to sit down on the hard bench across from him.

"We've been going over your statement, and the captain has been talking to the Canterlot Royal Guard. Over my objection, you and your friend are being released." The scowl on his face suggested that he’d objected very strongly.

Partly out of relief, partly to rub his nose in it, Rainbow let out a victorious whoop, fluttering several feet into the air.

He eyeballed her back onto her seat. "But before we let you go, you and I need to have a little chat. You may be some kind of Very Important Ponies and from the look on the captain’s face when he came back from talking with that Canterlot guard captain you probably are, but you two really did a number on those muggers. That grey unicorn’s eye actually burst, you know. Doctors had to yank it out. On top of that, he's got a concussion and a fractured sternum. He was the lucky one."

Rainbow Dash averted her eyes. She was both ashamed and proud that her micro-gust launched apple seed had been so effective. "What happened to the other one?"

The sergeant looked like he was going to be sick for a moment, before his regularly scheduled glare returned. "Physically, he's fine. But he was in a coma when they got him to the hospital. It took the witch doctors a couple hours to wake him up; and at first glance you’d think he just had some singed hair and minor burns. But he's crying for his Mommy to come kiss his boo-boos and make them better. He can’t remember the last fifteen years, thinks he’s still in magic kindergarten. They say he'll never so much as levitate a quill again. His magic font is completely burned out."

"Twilight wouldn't do that on purpose! The other guy hurt her horn."

"So the doctors say. I'm not sure I believe them. The fact is, we found the comic books in your bags, and combined with the little old mare who says you rescued her, I think you two were running around playing superhero.” He pushed back his bench and stood up.

“Well not in my city, Missy. The Captain may be too afraid to press charges, but if I catch you pulling that crap again, I'll see to it you wind up in front of a judge one way or another. Even if I can't take you in myself, there are precincts in this city where the Captain isn’t afraid of politics. And it’s much easier to get them to listen on a second offense."

"But they attacked us!"

The sergeant huffed, "And some of my officers think those two had it coming, they're both repeat offenders. But mares like you are not the judge, jury, and executioner. Either of those ponies could have died, and all because you couldn’t keep your muzzle out of it. We’d have caught them eventually."

"So this is my fault now? That's what you wanted to tell me? I saved somepony’s life and you’re blaming me for hurting the criminals?"

"If you hadn't jumped into harm's way, we wouldn't have a criminal so brain-damaged we can't prosecute him. That isn't justice. Not for him, and not for any of his victims. It's too soft and too cruel at the same time."

Uncomfortable with that line of argument, especially with somepony who so clearly hated her, Dash asked, "I can leave now, right?"

The sergeant sighed, "Yes. You’re free to go."

"Well then, I'd like my stuff back please."

"You can collect your things at the front desk. But I do not want to see you again, Miss Dash."

"Sucks to be you then. You're gonna see me in the comics, and probably in the news. And in the Wonderbolts some day." Dash gave a little flip of her hair and breezed out of the interrogation room like she hadn't a care in the world. When she was sure she was out of his sight, she touched down again. She wanted to scream, but that would have to wait until she was outside. She shoulder checked the wall instead—much too hard.

“Ow,” she said. She slammed into the wall three more times.

The unicorn doctor glanced at his charts and then up at Twilight, "Well Miss Sparkle, you shouldn't have any long-term side-effects, but you need to limit your magic usage over the next few weeks, and avoid it altogether for at least two or three days. For a unicorn of your strength even the smallest spell could leak enough magic to make the damage permanent."

"So she's healthy enough to leave the hospital?" Constable Order looked hopeful, horn injuries were a source of universal sympathy among unicorns.

The doctor nodded, "Yes. I can't say the same for those muggers though. I know it isn't right to wish harm on anypony, but with the number of mares we've had in here hurt by those two or ponies like them, I'm glad to see they got what was coming to them."

Twilight put her head in her hooves, wishing she could stop thinking about what she’d done, "I didn't mean to hurt him so badly! It was just a sleep spell!"

The constable gave Twilight a comforting pat on her back, "Well between that and the arrest record those two have got—and a sternly worded series of letters from Canterlot—no one is going to press charges. You and your friend are free to go. So now I'm free to ask you and Rainbow Dash to autograph my Mare Do Well comics!" Constable Order fluttered his eyelids at her and she couldn’t help but giggle as the police stallion pulled a small stack of comic books out of his saddlepack.

“So Rainbow is coming here soon?” Suddenly the world seemed a little brighter.

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with headquarters. They released her a few minutes ago. She apparently got directions and took off for here as soon as she got outside."

As if summoned by the sound of her name, a slightly breathless blue pegasus galloped into the room. "Sorry. Came as fast as I could. Are you gonna be okay Twi?" Dash flung her hooves around Twilight’s neck.

Twilight felt her cheeks redden. She made a brief attempt at fighting off the pegasus before returning the hug. Dash probably needed this as much as she did, even if the stubborn featherbrain would never admit it. "I'm fine Dash, but it's sweet of you to worry. I don't suppose you'd mind signing a few comic books with me? It seems you have quite a fan in Constable Order here."

Dash brightened up at the prospect of attention, "As long as you're okay Twi, I'll do whatever you want. Although you know how I hate having fans." She made and obviously fake scowl and picked up a quill.

"That reminds me, officers, do you know where we could stay?” Twilight asked. “We were looking for some relatives of a friend of ours, but at this time of night I'd feel terrible about waking them. Are there any decent hotels in the area? Safe but not too expensive?"

Constable Law rubbed his wingtip against his chin thoughtfully then said, "There isn't much near the hospital. We'd be happy to escort you wherever you need to go, of course. But if you want to get to bed soon, there’s the Best Pegasus. They're open all night, but they don't cater to the less reputable patrons most of the twenty-four hours joints prefer. It's a little pricey, but so is everything in Manehattan that isn't overrun with horse fleas."

Constable Order exchanged a glance with his colleague. "We'll take you there on one condition."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"You let us take a picture with you!" the lawponies chorussed, as if they’d rehearsed this scenario a dozen times.

Twilight facehoofed.

Rainbow Dash adjusted her pose nervously on the single bed in the hotel room. She shifted from faking sleep to a goofy over-the-top glamorous pose, and back to the original exaggerated relaxation she'd initially gone with. Twilight was taking an awfully long time on the stairs, maybe she should go help. But no, Dash had made her decision when she snatched the key in her mouth and flew up ten flights of stairs to their room. Going back now would be decidedly uncool.

She probably shouldn't have raced ahead up the stairs, but the knowing look they'd been getting from that bellhop had driven her crazy. Winking at her like she and Twi were here on some date-gone-very-well or something. It was rather late. And maybe he'd caught the way she was looking at Twilight, or just had a dirty mind about what two mares would get up to in a room with just one bed. Dash had to admit, If it were up to her he'd be right. But really they just hadn't had enough money for a double room, and Twilight had pointed out, quite reasonably, that they'd slept next to each other plenty of times. Like the other night. Rainbow let out a wistful sigh she hadn't known she'd been building up.

Twilight hadn't even noticed the blushing bellhop of course. She was so cool about those kinds of things; Twilight cared so little about what people thought of her, she didn't even bother noticing. She could be a little neurotic about what her friends or the Princess thought, sure, but who wouldn't be?

Dash sighed again and flipped onto her stomach. She spread the newest Mare Do Well comic out in front of her—nice and relaxed—and flicked her tail up just a bit. That looked almost too suggestive though, even with the comic. Twilight must really be taking her time on those stairs. Dash felt a pang of guilt. She should go and help. Twilight could still be sore from the fight, or maybe she was injured and hadn’t said anything. Just then, Dash heard a knocking at the door.

Horsefeathers. There was only one key. She felt like such an idiot. As she stood up, she took a minute to flip her mane off to the side in a way she hoped looked good, took a deep breath, and opened the door. There was a disappointing lack of Twilight.

It was just the bellhop, who looked a trifle nervous. "Excuse me Miss, I...well I think your marefriend needs your help."

"What! What happened to her?" Rainbow grabbed the poor earth pony by the coat and held him hovering a foot off the ground.

The bellhop pony’s eyes went wide, voice trembling, "She isn't hurt. She's just crying in the stairwell. I tried to move her but the Maitre d'Hotel said I should get you. Someone she trusts and all that." The bellhop sputtered for a moment, "Could you put me down p-please?"

"Oh, sorry." Dash grabbed the room key and sped out the door and down the stairs. Her draft pulled the door shut behind her and knocked the already-nervous bellhop off his hooves. She was two floors down when it hit her—he'd thought they were dating! Seriously dating! And she hadn’t remembered to correct him.

Twilight sat sobbing into her hooves on the third floor landing. She wasn't a hero; she was a monster. What kind of hero went around erasing people's brains? No matter what that stallion had been planning to do, she should have kept control of her magic. She should have felt for horn damage before she cast her spell, or just let Rainbow Dash dodge him. She had worried he was going to hurt Rainbow, and she hadn't thought. If she'd taken time to think, she could have levitated him or turned him into a geranium. Something less dangerous.

But no, she had to go around blasting ponies without thinking things through. She knew what kind of pony did that. A villain. Like Nightmare Moon or Discord or the Fuchsia Foalnapper. Those damn comics had it wrong. The shadowy secret societies weren't the ones who turned ponies into drooling husks—it was Mare Do Well. The real villain.

And now Dash had run off again, leaving her alone in the creepy hotel. Too ashamed to be seen with her. Only someone like Twilight could manage to drive away the very embodiment of the Element of Loyalty. Twilight felt a wing wrap around her and looked up into a pair of worried magenta eyes.

Twilight let out a sob and pressed her face into her friend's fuzzy chest. "Oh Dash, I'm so sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Twi. You saved my life. That stallion was bad news and if you hadn't blasted him, he'd have stabbed me. I know you didn't mean to screw him up forever like that, but you know what? He had it coming. He hurt a lot of ponies, and he was gonna hurt us and you showed him what happens when you mess with mares from Ponyville." Dash puffed out her chest a little at this, but Twilight just started crying harder.

Possibly sensing she’d made a mistake, Dash deflated and tried to comfort Twilight with a slow stroke of her hoof down her back, "Don't cry Twilight. I... I know I said he was screwed up forever, and yeah he probably is, but that does not make you a bad pony."

Twilight sobbed, "Yes it does! It does make me a bad pony. It makes me evil."

"It's not evil if you're protecting your friends. You weren't thinking about how much you liked hurting him, you were thinking about me. That just makes you a good friend."

"That's exactly the kind of thinking that starts wars, Dash. If you start killing ponies to protect your loved ones, you can justify anything."

"You weren't just killing random ponies that didn't like me, Twi. You zapped a pony who was actively trying to hurt me, at that moment. And you didn't kill him."

Twilight sniffled and mumbled out into Dash’s coat, "Same thing."

"No! It isn't! You messed up because his buddy had already hurt you and you couldn't control your power. You weren't even trying to hurt him. And let's face it, Twi, we both know you could have killed him if you wanted to."

Twilight tried to shove herself away from Dash, feeling sick to her stomach. She was unworthy of Dash’s comfort, of her touch. "That's just it, I did want to. On one hoof, he's unlucky that I didn't stop and think and turn him into a potted plant or something, on the other hoof, he's lucky my instinct was to use a sleep spell. He's lucky magic comes from the brain and not the heart.”

She had to admit what was bothering her most. “As soon as I saw him pulling that knife on you, I wanted to burn him into cinders so small a phoenix couldn't come back from them. I wanted to rain fire from the sky until he was just a charred hunk of meat. I've never felt that way before, Dash. We've fought much worse monsters than those unicorns and I've always been scared or angry or thoughtful. I usually feel almost at peace when that moment comes, just doing what I have to do. But today it was all I could do to just knock him out. And I didn't even do that right. I'm worried I'm turning evil, Dash. I'm worried I'm more of a villain than a hero."

Rainbow Dash had tears in her eyes too. Twilight wasn't sure if they were sad or happy tears; maybe a bit of both.

Dash spoke softly, her words pitched with some emotion Twilight couldn’t immediately identify, "I care about you too Twi. I felt the same way when he hurt your horn. It made me even more angry than when someone upsets Fluttershy." Rainbow stared at her with those big magenta eyes, looking like she wanted to say something and couldn't find the words. She glanced away for a second and then continued, "I could carry you up the stairs if you want. If you're too tired.”

Twilight sniffled, rubbing her nose, "That's okay Rainbow. I think I can manage."

Dash looked vaguely disappointed for some reason.

"But I do have one favor to ask..."

"Anything, Twilight."

"Can I have first shower?"

Rainbow Dash grinned and nodded. But she still looked sad somehow. Maybe she wanted a shower as much as Twilight did.

Rainbow tried to finish the most recent comic as she waited for her turn in the shower, but she was unable to focus. She had to figure out a way to tell Twilight how she felt without making things awkward between them. It probably wasn't a good idea to say anything right before they had to spend the night sleeping next to each other in such a small bed, but tomorrow she would definitely say something. She just didn't know what.

The rushing water sounds ceased, and a moment later the bathroom door creaked open. Rainbow took an awkwardly long moment admiring the sleek wet fur and dripping mane of her purple friend before glancing away to hide her blush. As usual, Twilight seemed not to notice any of this.

Twilight gave a much brighter smile than she’d had before, finally reganing a little of her usual pep, "The shower is all yours Dash. It really is very relaxing. I'm not sure if that's due to the higher water pressure or just the unusual level of tension between traveling and getting into that—"

"Thanks Twi." Rainbow zipped into the bathroom without so much as touching the floor the moment Twilight stepped out of the way. She slammed the door behind her and turned the water on cold. After a few shivering moments failed to calm her down, she resignedly dialed the water back up to warm and let out a long sigh. The increased pressure really was relaxing.

Twilight toweled off and then curled her hooves up underneath her on the bed. She hadn't finished the newest comic either, and despite her own worries about whether or not she was a good pony, she was curious about what happened next. Things were so much simpler in the comics.

By the time she finished reading, Twilight was blushing rather strongly. She knew comics were supposed to be a fantasy, but the development implied by the final page had left her breathless. Mare Do Well and Flash had woken up in the same bed! To be fair she and Dash would be waking up in the same bed the next morning, so that was accurate. But she was pretty sure they wouldn't conclude their own night of crime fighting in the steamy way implied by the prior few pages. The comic didn't actually show anything lewd of course, but it was all there in the kiss they shared, and the content looks on their faces the next morning. Where did the author, whoever he was, come up with filth like this?

Twilight paused for a minute in her mental tirade. She was fairly certain they both liked mares, so maybe it wasn't that far fetched. But neither friend thought of the other that way, did they? She thought of the toned lines of Dash's flanks as she had galloped back up the stairs ahead of her, the cute little smirk she wore whenever Twilight met her eyes, like they were sharing some private joke. She thought of the way Rainbow had held and comforted her on the stairway. She was a really good friend. And maybe she did have nice flanks. But no, Dash could never fall for a nerdy mare like her; best to keep all such thoughts banished to dreams and fantasies.

Rainbow Dash must have really wanted a shower, she'd been in there almost half an hour. Twilight surreptitiously closed the comic and put it on the nightstand on her side of the bed. She wiggled her way under the covers and tried to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Dash. She rolled over onto her side and riffled through her saddlebags until she found the book she had brought with her: Pre-Celestian Earth Pony Religion and Religious Practices. As she heard the door open, she quickly finished the section she was reading, inserted a bookmark, and closed the book, placing it gently on the floor beside her. She felt herself release a tension she hadn't known she was holding in as the pegasus snuggled in beside her. Twilight felt truly safe for the first time since the attack. She closed her eyes and fell immediately to sleep.

Issue #3: Off of a Cliff

In the morning, Rainbow Dash led the way to the offices of Mareville Comics. She'd woken up first and finished the comic before interrogating the bellhop about how to find where things were in the city. Apparently there was a book for that. She looked it up easily, but made a point of not mentioning this to Twilight. Fortunately it was on one of the streets on their map, and didn't take much trouble to find. It was only a few block away from the hotel.

As they walked through the doors, a curly-haired unicorn receptionist gave them a dismissive glance over the rims of her black glasses. "Oh. Fans."

Dash’s couldn’t help snapping at her, "We're not fans, we're the real deal!"

Twilight smacked Rainbow on the back of the head, then spoke in her most serious tone, a touch of Canterlot accent drifting into her voice, "What my friend means to say is that we are the ponies who were used as the basis for a pair of your characters, and as we were never contacted regarding the use of our likenesses and characters in fiction, we need to speak to whoever runs your Mare Do Well line."

The receptionist glared up over her spectacles, "If you'd like to file a complaint, I can have you meet with legal—"

Twilight gave her best patronizing smirk, "That won't be necessary. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia's personal protégé. I'm sure you've heard of me. As all defamation suits are handled on a case-by-case basis through Canterlot, I can assure you, if your legal team needs to talk to me, you've already lost. Now we can work out a licensing arrangement with whoever runs the Mare Do Well line, or you can run me in circles all day until I actually do decide to press charges and we bring this before Aunt Celly."

The receptionist actually looked a bit scared. "Just a moment, Miss Sparkle." The receptionist opened up a speaking tube and began talking fast and quietly into it. She put her ear to it, and after a moment, looked up. "Alright, Mr. Tree will see you in just a moment. Fifth floor, first door on your right."

As the two friends trotted to the stairway Dash lean in towards Twilight’s ear and whispered, "That was so awesome."

As the two mares reached the fifth floor, they walked out into the hallway and saw an unassuming door immediately on their right. It said "Stan Tree, Vice President of Superheroes" in big gold letters on the window. Rainbow Dash cautiously pushed the door open and was greeted by a receptionist nearly identical to the one on the ground floor. If she hadn't known better, she'd have assumed they were the same pony.

"You're here to see Mr. Tree, yes?" asked the secretary primly, her green-glowing quill unceasing in its movement across whatever paperwork she was doing.

"Yes we are," Twilight said with a grin halfway between her normal, friendly one and the threatening one she’d used downstairs.

"Well, he's ready for you, right this way." The secretary gestured them through a smaller door in the side of the room.

As Rainbow Dash walked into the little office, she gasped. The wall was covered with posters of ponies in dramatic poses. Particularly striking was a khaki pegasus swinging a whip. That pegasus looked remarkably like her somehow. She looked over at Twilight to find the unicorn practically drooling over the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf on the other wall. It didn't seem to be enough shelf, as piles of books and comics teetered atop the desk, beside the desk, and piled on every other available surface.

Behind the desk sat a surprisingly diminutive elderly earth pony. He had a grey coat, black mane, and a trio of word balloons for a cutie mark. He smiled up at them as he said, in a gruff, friendly voice, "Welcome to my office, ladies. I've been hoping to meet you two for some time. Ever since the Mare Do Well concept was brought to me.”

Twilight blinked. "Wait, you knew we were real ponies?"

"Well, Cart didn't know for sure, but he told me he thought you might be based on real ponies his anonymous collaborator knew. Celestia's student though, wow."

Twilight and Dash exchanged glances. "I don't suppose we could speak to this Cartmane pony, could we?"

"Of course you could. His name is Cartmane Foalitino and he's one of the best illustrators and writers we've got. I can give you his address if you want. He always likes to meet the fans, and particularly in a case like yours, I'm sure he'd love to meet the real ponies behind his story."

"Great! So can we have that address?" Twilight asked, relieved to have something finally go her way.

Stan Tree just smiled at her and wrote something on a scrap of paper, which he handed over. "You don't really care about the use of your likenesses, do you?" he asked conspiratorially.

Dash smirked and fluffed up her feathers a little, "Well I do like ponies to know how awesome I am."

Rolling her eyes Twilight said, "You're right, we didn't really come here for that. Although as long as we are here, I suppose we should work out a formal agreement, now that we've met. I don't think Ms. Dash or I have any problem with being used as the basis for a couple of super heroes, but I'd prefer if our names never be officially connected to the characters. Political baggage and all. What's the standard rate you pay for this sort of thing?"

"Wait, they're going to pay us to be in—"

Dash felt Twilight's tail whip against her flank. She briefly wondered whether or not Twi was flirting with her before realizing she just wanted her to keep her mouth shut. Some kind of business negotiation thing.

Stan either didn’t notice or chose to ignore it, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "We do in fact pay people who have rights to the initial concept. As this comic is somewhat based upon your lives, we'd be happy—and in fact legally obligated—to pay you. I propose we just give you two the standard rate, but so there are no hard feelings I can cut you a check from the Properties Acquisition budget as a sort of reparation. How does two-hundred bits each sound?"

"It sounds awes—" Dash felt a flick against her flank again.

Twilight spoke over her, "It sounds fine, thank you. That's two-hundred each I assume. Plus the monthly payment?"

"Of course. Just a moment, I'll have Ms. Pots draw up the paperwork. Feel free to browse through my collection while you wait."

"It was good doing business with you Mr. Tree."

"You too, Ms. Sparkle." He got up from his desk and trotted out into the main office.

Dash watched Twilight browse the pile of comics on the desk. Specifically, she watched Twilight's flanks as she bent low to examine something on the pile beside the desk.

"Oooh. Latch and Bolt by Crowthrill. He's one of my favorite authors, Dash. You really should try reading a novel one day, you'd really like them. Maybe something with adventure or something a bit scary."

Dash jerk her head to the side as Twilight turned around, pretending to idly look at the Daring Do poster on the wall. "Maybe someday I will. Hey Twi, who's this cool-looking pegasus. She seems pretty awesome."

"Oh, that's Daring Do! She's a character in a whole series of books. Those were the ones I was going to try to get you to read. They just did a comic book adaptation, but it isn't as good as the novels. Not nearly as much room for characterization."

"How about if I like the comics, I'll take a look at one of those books?"

"Oh Dash, would you, really?"

"It is a little egg-heady but I'll make an exception for you, Twi."

Just then, Stan Tree came back into the room with a quartet of scrolls. "Okay, so you each sign two copies on the X at the bottom. You keep one copy, we keep the other. And you can take this check to any bank in Manehattan and cash it in for bits. It's your back pay for the past couple weeks, and the little signing bonus I talked about. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Just one thing, Mr. Tree," Twilight said, grinning. "I run the Ponyville library, do you think we could get some of the rare issues that you only sell here in Manehattan in my library. I'm sure the ponies of Ponyville would just love it."

"Of course. Ponyville is actually making us a lot of money lately you know. The ponies there have really taken a liking to Rainbow Flash for some reason." He grinned at Dash. "And it's gotten them into other comics. If there is any town we'd like to help out with a few special issues, it's Ponyville."

"Thank you so much. Now, Dash and I had better get to finding Mr. Foalitino before it gets too late. Is this address far from here?"

"Not terribly. Ask the secretary for direction on your way out, it should be perfectly simple to find. Good luck, ladies."

Stan smiled and waved at the two mares as they exited his office. He looked down at one of the sketches his niece had sent in. She wasn’t much of an artist, but she had an eye for detail and an ear for dialogue. She’d gotten the conversation very nearly perfect, right down to the half-conscious flirting. He pulled his framed picture of her back out of his desk, and set it up in its usual place, grinning at him.

Twilight walked up to the brick apartment building on the edge of Little Fillily. "You're sure this is the address Stan Tree gave us, Dash?"

"Absolutely." The instructions the secretary had given Twilight had been pretty simple as well, just a few turns. And the Manehattan grid layout was much simpler than the winding, poorly-labeled streets of Canterlot, once you knew where you were going. But Dash still seemed uncomfortable in the city.

Twilight walked up to the little brick building and knocked on the door. There was no answer.

Figuring it was probably an apartment building, Twilight tried the door and found it unlocked. She walked inside, but noticed Rainbow Dash hanging a bit behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and motioned Dash inside. She looked worried for a moment, but then puffed out her chest and followed Twilight's lead. It was cute seeing her usually brash friend worry like this, although some part of Twilight couldn't stand to see Dash look so uncomfortable.

They climbed the narrow stairs just inside the door and emerged into a narrow hallway with doors on either side. Twilight looked back over her shoulder and saw that Dash had her wings pulled in tight against her and was glancing back and forth at the walls looming on either side. Even on a sunny day like this, the hallway had a cave-like darkness and Twilight mentally slapped herself.

Stupid Twilight. Stupid. She's claustrophobic. She isn't afraid of meeting some comic artist, she's afraid of being in so tight a space. What kind of friend are you, not noticing something like that. Stupid city unicorn.

Before she could beat herself up any further, Twilight noticed the door in front of her had the number she was looking for. She raised a tentative hoof and knocked.

There was a groan from inside, followed by a rustling of paper. It seemed like it took forever before the door was yanked open and a red unicorn with heavy bags under his eyes looked out.

"Whadya want?" The unicorn grumbled at them, rubbing at his eye with one hoof.

Twilight spoke up first, keeping her tone polite and professional. "Are you Mr. Foalitino?"

"Who's askin'?"

"Well my name is Tw—" Before Twilight could explain anything, she was shoved out of the way.

"I'm Rainbow Dash. Maybe you recognize me? Now let us in, we've gotta talk."

The tired-looking unicorn's eyes widened as he stepped back and allowed the door to swing all the way open.

Twilight followed Rainbow in. Stan Tree's office had been a cluttered, disorganized mess, but this apartment made it look like Carousel Boutique. The carpet obviously hadn't been cleaned in months, if ever. It was hard to tell because most of it was obscured by take-out containers from more kinds of food than she could even identify. Manehattan was supposed to be the great melting pot of cultures after all, and whatever bacteria was growing on his floor was certainly getting the full benefit of all that cultural diversity.

The only piece of furniture was a big kitchen table, covered with notebooks and sketch pads and loose sheets of paper. There were several inkwells lined neatly along the front edge, in stark contrast to everything else about the apartment and table. She could see a black and white sketch of what almost looked like her face, grimacing in pain. There was a pile of scrolls beside the desk.

While the area around the door had a faint hint of dumpster about it, as Twilight and Dash followed the artist into his study, the air had a much more pleasant scent. Some of it was the heady smell of the ink, but there was an underlying burnt toffee scent, like the smell of the slightly singed messages Spike belched up from the Princess.

The unicorn’s voice warmed, his Manehattan accent softening a bit, "I was wonderin' what took you girls so long. I got an express message that you were coming yesterday. Have a seat." He gestured towards the table, his magic gathering up piles of sketches and half-heartedly stacking them on the floor.

There were, indeed, two extra chairs beside the table. They were surprisingly dust-free, although the stacks of paper sitting beside them hinted at their previous purpose.

"I suppose you'll wanta get straight to business, eh? How do I know about you, how did the Mare Do Well comic get started so fast, all that jazz?"

Twilight primly crossed her hooves as she took her seat. "Well yes, that is why we came."

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that. I've been sworn to secrecy. All I can say is that this project wasn't my idea. I've got a collaborator from Ponyville who came up with the concept and writes the basic scripts, then I flesh out the dialogue, figure out the art, and draw and ink the thing. If you wanna get paid or somethin' you've gotta talk to the mucky mucks an Mareville."

"We already did, and we came to a perfectly satisfactory arrangement. No need to worry about your comic being canceled or anything like that."

Cartmane nodded, scratching at the side of his face with an idle hoof. "Glad to hear it. So. I'm not gonna tell ya who my source is, you don't want to complain, ya need anything else or ah we done here."

Twilight frowned, "Well I do have two other things I wanted to ask you."

"Shoot."

"So these comics have been a step ahead of us at every turn. I was hoping you could let us know what happens next? We won't tell anyone, but it could be really helpful."

Cartmane rubbed his chin, looking a little dubious of that. "Well, I can't spoil the whole story, cause frankly, I don't know what's gonna happen until I get the script. But this next issue has you two rescuing a pegasus filly."

Dash looked up from the collection of sketches on the table, confused. "Didn't we already do that once?"

"Different filly, but I think they're connected."

"You mean you don't know?" Twilight asked, obviously confused.

"All I know is the script says to draw a cute orange pegasus filly with purple hair."

Dash shot up from her chair, knocking over several stacks of papers as she dove across the table. "Sweet Celestia! Thats Scootaloo. What is going to happen to Scootaloo!" she demanded, lifting the startled unicorn out of his chair.

Twilight winced and yanked Dash’s rear hoof, "You should probably put him down Rainbow."

Dash looked daggers at her, but set Cartmane down in his chair. She fluttered back to her own and glared silently at the unicorn, her hooves crossed over her chest.

Cartmane shook his head, trying not to look unsettled by Dash’s death glares. "Look, I don't know how much of this is real and how much is made up, but the kid gets foalnapped, okay. She's playing with a couple of her friends and she goes off on her own and she script doesn't tell me who takes her, just that we see eyes from the shadows. All I can tell you is that the issue ends with Rainbow Flash flying off that cliff we keep coming back to and getting grabbed by some kind of giant tentacle. Script says to draw it the same purple as the filly's mane. Thats all she wrote, girls."

"So it's a she?"

"I have no idea. It's just an expression."

Twilight’s ears drooped, but looking at Dash’s reaction, she decided to take charge. "Rainbow, if we leave now, we should be able to get to the train station in time to get back to Ponyville tonight. We should hurry though. Before we leave, Mr. Foalitino, do you think you could sign the issues I brought with me? It would really mean a lot to me."

"Sure I can kid." He pulled a quill out of his red inkwell as Twilight pulled several plastic sleeves containing comics out of her saddlebag. He scribbled on them, re-sleeved them, and Twilight trotted toward the door, determined not to miss the train to Ponyville. Dash wasn't beside her though.

She looked over her shoulder and saw Rainbow Dash talking to the old artist. They were whispering back and forth to each other. A wide grin blossomed on Rainbow Dash's face and she gave the old stallion a hug. Shaking her head, Twilight opened the door with her hoof and begun tapping her foot. Rainbow jumped up and flew over to her, smiling like she'd just won another day with the Wonderbolts or something. Twilight smiled back and lead the way back to the train station. Rainbow had such a great smile. She wondered what the old stallion could have told her that made her so happy.

Rainbow Dash bounced up and down in her seat on the train. They'd hopped on board just as it had begun billowing steam from the engine. They only just had time to pay the conductor and take their seats before it started moving.

That wonderful, wonderful comics stallion. He said that although he didn't know where things would end, he was sure Rainbow Flash and Mare Do Well would end up together. And then he'd winked at her and said they had even better chemistry in real life! This decided it. She had to say something. She had to make Twilight know how she felt.

"Hey Twi?"

"What is it Dash?"

"Have you ever had a special somepony? Back in Canterlot or whatever?" Rainbow grinned in what she hoped was an endearing manner.

Twilight frowned though, and Dash's heart sank into her stomach. "No. I've never really... I've never really found the time for dating. It always seemed too much of a hassle. And how would you ever meet anypony. I don't go hang out at clubs or anything. I don't like anypony talking to me while I'm studying. And you aren't supposed to date your friends. So how in Tarturus could I ever meet anypony to date. Much less actually find time for them."

The sun hid behind a cloud. And sensing that the world was still too bright and cheery for Dash's new mood, the train fled into a tunnel where not a speck of sunlight could interfere with the gloom Dash felt she was projecting out into the world. She looked away from Twilight and then stood up.

"Is something wrong, Dash?"

"No I'm fine. Just have to use the little filly's room. Be right back!" She was sure her lie sounded less convincing than Applejack but she flew off to the bathroom anyway. She couldn't let Twilight see her cry.

Rainbow Dash slammed the bathroom door behind her. It was a sliding panel thing and didn't slam very well, so she pulled it back and slammed it again. It gave a conciliatory faint thud.

Feeling pathetic, Dash locked the door, sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, and began sobbing into her hooves.

As Dash sped off down the train car, Twilight wondered what she could have possibly said wrong. She could swear she saw a tear in the pegasus' eye, and Rainbow Dash was not a pony who cried easily. Maybe Dash had been lonely too lately and was hoping for some reassurance things would all get better. If that was the case, Twilight wasn't a very good friend. She'd have to apologize when Dash returned.

Maybe she just wanted somepony to talk to about stallions. Or maybe she was upset about the romantic direction of the comics. Maybe she didn't want everypony to think she liked mares. If anypony were going to get a lot of manure about that from the ponies around town, it would be Rainbow Dash. Maybe that explained why she had been blushing so hard when Twilight found her reading the end of that comic in the hotel this morning.

Thinking of the comic, what were the chances that Scootaloo would really be kidnapped and Dash would really be attacked by some monster. She supposed it was reasonable to hope it wouldn't happen. But suppose the mystery collaborator did have some knowledge of the future. Or at least some knowledge of... something. There was certainly more going on in Ponyville than was obvious.

The book implied that Ponyville and the surrounding area were prone to unusual heat waves once a lifetime or so. And that these heat waves coincided with whatever ritual the old earth pony religions believed they needed to do to appease their gods. What are the chances that during an unusually hot summer somepony kidnapped Dinky and tried to kill her? Even if there was nothing behind the old religion, that didn't mean some ponies couldn't believe there was. Given that, maybe it was best not to take chances with Scootaloo's safety.

Thinking of coincidences, there had been a lot of them with Dash lately. Twilight knew she got a bit flirty with her friend, particularly when they were alone and she was dreading the time when she be left all by herself again. But she'd been feeling awfully happy around Dash lately, and despite the bad parts, traveling to a new place with her—and spending so much time with her—had been a lot of fun.

Maybe she genuinely had feelings for Rainbow Dash. It would explain why she'd felt so safe and comfortable in the hotel last night, after everything that had happened. And unless she was mistaken, she'd been catching Dash looking at her much more often than was normal.

Stupid Twilight, stupid. Dash had been wondering if Twilight liked her and she'd just spouted off some dumb rule from some dumb magazine that didn't even make sense. She liked having rules and outlines, but 'follow no rule off a cliff' was one of the big ones.

A loud crash from the direction of the bathroom snapped Twilight's attention to the fact that Rainbow Dash was still missing. She galloped to the bathroom door and tried to open it. It was locked.

Stupid horn injury. Unable to use her magic, Twilight turned around and bucked the door as hard as she could. It flew open, clearly not designed to withstand much force. The bathroom was completely empty. Most of the window was missing, glittering shards of glass littered the floor.

Dash enjoyed the sense of freedom, the slight burn in her muscles as she flapped hard to catch the heart-shaped clouds puffing merrily up from the locomotive. Stupid stupid Twilight. Stupid Scootaloo. Stupid Rainbow Dash. Why should she care about her chances with Twi at a time like this?

One of the steam hearts rose in front of her. Dash flipped around and bucked it into oblivion—it wasn't nearly as satisfying as it should have been. Twilight should give her some lessons in heart-smashing.

Why did Twi have to buy into some dumb 'don't date your friends' nonsense. Rarity was always going on about stupid rules for romance like that. She was always trying to set her friends up with each other though, so she was obviously working from a different book than Twilight.

Dash flapped a few times to reposition herself and match speed with the engine. The hot air rising from it gave her an altitude boost, and she saw a hawk rising circling lazily in the meadow to her left. Must be some good thermals over there.

She couldn't understand why anypony would make up rules for love instead of just liking who they liked. Of course, Twilight was just the sort of pony to make up rules and plans for everything. Sometimes planning was a good idea though. Like if she didn't take the time to catch some thermals, she'd be way too tired when she got back to Ponyville. She had to conserve some energy.

Spiraling up beneath the hawk, the air eventually grew cold. A mountain with a glittering white lump hanging off it was just visible in the distance. Canterlot. Ponyville must be that blurry thing near the bottom.

Maybe she was right, maybe Scootaloo was hanging out with Rarity and AJ's little sisters covered in tree sap somewhere. Dash sucked in a deep breath and cleared her mind. Spotting another likely thermal in that direction, Dash tucking into a dive. It was good to go fast. The wind rippling over her feathers sucked away the tension drop by drop.

The train was already well behind her. If she could keep gaining at this rate, she could save Scootaloo and meet Twilight at the station. She could afford to push herself a little. She didn't want to be a second later than she had to be. With some thrilling heroics—and a little help from Rarity—maybe she could be Twilight's exception to the rule. It was a long shot, but it was a shot.

Rainbow Dash was panting by the time she reached the cliff on the outskirts of Ponyville, but the train was just a pastel speck behind her. The little house at the top of the hill was boarded up with a royal seal on the door and nopony was around this part of town. The sky was orange and pink and the only activity was around the restaurants downtown. She squinted at the swamp beneath the cliff but couldn't see anything that looked like a likely place to store a tied-up filly. Something was moving down there though.

Letting some air slip through her feathers, Dash dropped stealthily toward the swamp. It was an old earth pony picking her way cautiously along the base of the cliff. Dash touched down in front of her. She hated to admit it, but it felt good to give her wings a rest after so long.

"Where are you coming from lady?"

"Oh, Ms. Dash. I was just collecting some herbs for my dinner. This is the only place to get good fiddleheads and around these parts you know."

"I don't see any herbs."

"I was just on my way to get them." The old mare looked Dash in the eye as if daring Dash to contradict her. She muttered something under her breath.

"What was that."

The mare leaned closer to Dash as if to whisper in her ear. There was an awfully strong smell coming from her. Dash leaned in toward her. A hoof shot out and pressed something against Rainbow's muzzle, another gripped the back of her head, pulling her in. The old mare was much stronger than she looked. Dash flapped her wings and bucked wildly, but she was exhausted and she already felt her eyelids sinking down and her movements getting even more sluggish. It was the opposite of the adrenaline rush she should be experiencing. And that scent, she couldn't even panic with it in her nose, it pushed everything else aside. As Rainbow's eyes slid shut she heard the old mare whisper something in her ear.

"You don't come anywhere near living up to your reputation."

She heard nothing else for a long time.

Twilight jumped to her feet as the Friendship Express chugged into Ponyville. She ran to the door, watching the early evening lights of the station. As soon as they were still, she jumped through the door onto the platform. Rainbow Dash wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Galloping to the library, Twilight searched the streets for anypony she knew. They were completely deserted. She yanked open the library door with more force than she'd intended, knocking herself off balance. She stumbled in and yelled, "Spike!"

There was no answer. No sound of movement. She'd been thinking about what Dash said on the train. There was no time to do more research, no time to wait for Spike to get back or track down all her friends. Every second wasted was another second where Dash could be sacrificed for some ancient Earth Pony religion. But Twilight couldn't rush off unprepared either. Especially without the use of her magic.

She grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. Twilight picked up the quill with her magic. There was a loud snap. "Sweet father of Celestia," she swore.

Twilight felt a intense pain in her forehead and something else, something sharper, from her her left foreleg. Examining herself, she noticed a fragment of quill protruding from her leg. She gripped it in her teeth, close her eyes, and pulled.

The pain increased for a moment, and then reduced to a throbbing. A trickle of blood ran down her leg and dripped from the bit of quill in her teeth. It must have exploded with some force to pierce her skin. Grumbling to herself, she found another quill, this time holding it in her mouth. She hadn't written this way since kindergarten, her mouthwriting was even sloppier than Dash's.

It took only a few minutes to write the note, but it felt like much too long. She laid out her suspicions, left the book underneath the note in case Spike wanted to do some research of his own, and asked him to forward the message to Princess Celestia as soon as he read it.

A short trot up the stairs later, Twilight dumped the entire contents of her saddlebags on her bed. In went a topographical map of area around Ponyville, a bag of granola, Mellow Marsh's Guide to the Flora and Fauna of the Wetlands, and a rope—AJ had been teaching her how to tie knots and it might be useful if she found whoever had kidnapped Dash. And Scootaloo of course. On her way out the door, she poked her head into the bathroom and tossed in her first aid kit. She still didn't feel prepared.

Deciding she needed to at least tell somepony where she was going, Twilight stopped by Carousel Boutique on her way out of town. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer.

"Hi Twilight! You're back super duper early from Manehattan, does that mean Dashie's back earlier too?"

"Oh, hi Pinkie. That's why I'm here. Dash ran off to save Scootaloo and never came back. I think she's been foalnapped too."

"You know about the girls? That's why Rarity isn't home, she and Applejack are out searching the Everfree for them. I tried to tell them to look in the swamp, but they said the girls don't play anywhere near the swamp and I think they're both just too worried to listen to their good pal Pinkie even though I just want to help!"

"Wait, how do you know they're being held in the swamp?"

"Because I wrote the comics, silly! Now are you going to come with me to rescue Dashie or am I going to have to do it by myself?"

Twilight sighed. As usual, Pinkie's reply had created more questions than it answered. But if AJ and Rarity were in the Everfree, there certainly wasn't time to find them. This was all the help she was going to get. The pink pony was already bouncing merrily off toward the swamp. Twilight sighed again and hurried to catch up.

Issue #4: True Heroes

Rainbow Dash woke to somepony shaking her back and forth, repeating her name in an oddly familiar way. "Where am I?" She managed to croak out. It felt like waking up after a night of far too much cider.

"Oh Rainbow Dash, you're awake." Her biggest fan was buzzing her little orange wings in excitement. "I'm so glad you're awake. This is all part of your plan to save us, right? Sweetie didn't believe me, but I just knew this was part of your plan."

"Sure is, Squirt." Dash gave the cockiest grin she could manage—it wasn't up to her usual standards thanks to the throbbing in her skull and the aching in her wings—but it was enough to see the worry disappear from Scootaloo's face. Beside the little pegasus, Rarity's little sister and another unicorn filly—was that Derpy's kid?—smiled hopefully at her. A few other ponies huddled against the far wall but it was impossible to make out who they were in the dim light of the flickering torches lining the walls.

Dash tried to stand up and cold metal bit into her neck. She grunted and lay back down, frustrated. A short iron chain dangled from a collar around her neck an was bolted into the floor a foot away.

"Who else is in here with us, kid?"

"Well Sweetie and Apple Bloom and Spike came looking for me and they ended up foalnapped too. And Sweetie told me you got Twilight to sign my comic book too! That was so nice of you Rainbow Dash."

Dash finally broke out into a smile. If a filly like Scootaloo was cool with this dungeon she couldn't go letting it get her down. She raised an eyebrow expectantly at Scootaloo, who looked confused for a moment before realizing she had barely told Dash anything.

"Then Dinky here got caught and they brought her in and chained her up with us. We're going to make her an official crusader when you get us out of here."

Dash gave her an expectant look and motioned for Scootaloo to go on. "So anyway, Dinky's sister Sparkler and their mom came looking too and then they got caught. But now you're here! I knew you'd come to save us Rainbow Dash." The filly looked like she didn't have a fear in the world.

Why can't I just be as smart a pony as she thinks I am? Twi was right. Twi's always right. I should have just— Rainbow felt a tugging on her mane and looked over to see Sweetie Belle looking forlornly up at her. "Why aren't Rarity and Applejack in here with us? They came with you didn't they? D-did something happen to Rarity?" The tears welling up around the little unicorn's eyes were just too much to bear.

"I'm sure your sisters are out looking for us right now," Rainbow looked away, rubbing her right hoof against her leg. "I didn't have time to bring them along; I found out Scoots here was in trouble and I just flew off."

"So how'd y'all know where we was then?" Apple Bloom muttered from the left. She was chained to the same wall as Rainbow Dash, but in the poorly lit cave she had been nearly invisible.

"Twilight and I figured it out." Dash brightened up at this. "Oh yeah, so Twilight should be on her way. I'm sure she'll bring along the girls."

There was a murmur of voices and a low grinding of stone on stone. A dimly lit crack appeared in the wall and grew until she could see the silhouettes of two ponies in the darkness.

"This is getting ridiculous," said one of the two ponies as she walked into the chamber. Her voice was gravelly and old, but as she passed in front of a torch, Rainbow could see the shape on an unconscious unicorn on her back. She had trouble imagining Granny Smith carrying another pony around that easily.

"Even after all these years, we really only needed five sacrifices. We've only ever needed five sacrifices. Otherwise we'd have installed more chains in this Celestia damned cave."

"Shhhhhh. Don't say that name in here. The god doesn't like it."

"Well we're feeding him twice his usual meal, he'll get over it I think."

"It makes me nervous when you talk that way Goody."

"Well it makes me nervous when we have to let half of our prisoners loose. Obviously we'll unchain the little earth pony, but who's your pick for the other: baby dragon or that younger unicorn?"

"Dragon, definitely. He hasn't shown much resistance since I clobbered him that first time. 'Sides, you can't trust a unicorn." Shortly after they reached the far wall where the other ponies were chained up, there was a rattle of metal on metal. Something went flying across the room and thumped into the wall near Dash.

A small purple dragon slid to the floor next to her, muttering something about not being allowed to nap in peace. He slumped in the corner beside Dash, glaring at the old ponies across the room.

"Don't be racist Agnus, 'specially not around impressionable fillies."

The old pony named Agnus trotted over toward Dash, heading for the chain to her left where Apple Bloom was tied up. The hindquarters and tail of the pony slumped across her back looked terribly familiar. Dash's heart jumped to her throat at the sight of the cutie mark adorning those purple flanks. It was Twilight. The shriveled blue earth pony rattled the chains around for a moment, and a Apple Bloom tumbled out into the center of the room. She wobbled to her feet with some help from Sweetie Belle.

"I'm not sayin' they're worse than us. I let the little non-magic ones loose didn't I? I'm just sayin' they're tricky. Don't ever give a unicorn room to get up to any—."

"Now girls, git 'em!"

"Cutie Mark Crusader Jailbreakers, attack!" The three-filly harmony seemed somehow fiercer than usual. Not that it did them any good. Scootaloo jumped from Sweetie Belle's back straight at the face of the old mare while Apple Bloom and Dinky charged. Agnus ducked with all the agility of a old cat—experienced rather than decrepit. Scootaloo tumbled through the air overhead and smacked into the wall. The ancient mare held Dinky and Apple Bloom at hoof-length with her two forelegs, both fillies swinging wildly but uselessly.

Scootaloo picked herself up and eyed the opening that served as a door. Rainbow met her eyes and made shooing motions with her hooves, trying to convince her little fan to escape and get help. With a shake of her head, Scootaloo backed up for a running start and charged Agnus from behind. She was bucked aside effortlessly.

Goody, who turned out to be a tan earth pony even more wrinkled than the Agnus, crept up behind Apple Bloom and Dinky, bonking them each sharply on the head. They both collapsed to the floor. "Little fillies too much for you, Aggie?"

Agnus gave a low whiny, "I had it handled. But you're right, having this many sacrifices is more trouble than it's worth. I'll talk to Gert, see if we can't move the ceremony up to tonight."

She turned to address the captive ponies, "Now listen up you lot, we'll be back in a couple o' hours. With these two ponies we just captured, we got more sacrifices than we need. Might be the god isn't as hungry as all that. So anypony that tries to escape is gonna be dinner fer sure. But if a couple of you behave yourselves, we'll pick one or two as gets to go free."

The two old ponies turned and trotted briskly out of the room, sliding what must have been a huge boulder back in front of the door without so much as a grunt.

Twilight groaned and struggled to sit up. She yelped as the iron collar bit into her neck and yanked her mane. She rubbed her eyes with a hoof and peered around the dimly-lit room.

"What happened? Where are we Pinkie?"

From the other side of the cave an incongruously bubbly voice answered, "We've successfully infiltrated the secret lair! You should totally consider being an actress, Twilight. You did an even better job pretending to get knocked out than I did!"

"Uh, thanks?"

Rainbow jumped in before Pinkie could sidetrack things, "So is this your rescue plan, Twi?"

"I don't know if it's exactly according to plan, but I left a note for Spike to send to the Princess, so we should have backup on the way."

"Ummm, Twilight?"

"Yes Spike? Oh." Twilight's smile drooped. "So you haven't been back to the library recently I take it."

"Not since last night. The last thing I sent was about you going off to Manehattan. I don't have any paper or I'd have written her already." The little dragon waddled over to Twilight hugged her around the neck.

"They confiscated my saddlebags too. I guess we're on our own then. Let's get planning." Twilight clapped her hooves together, having seemingly contracted Pinkie's bizarre chipperness. "Okay, Spike, let's take an inventory. What do we have. Everypony speak up if you've got anything we could use or any good ideas please."

"Well, we've got the chains you're tied to if we can get them off you, and the torches. And, um... rocks?" Spike looked around the walls of the cave. "And I could light the rest of the torches, but that's about it."

"Okay, well what about special skills? My horn is injured so I'm afraid I'm not much help."

Spike was going around lighting the rest of the torches, letting loose a long, thin flame up the wall at each. It sometimes took him a few tries, but the cave was growing brighter, and the light seemed to restore some hope to everypony else.

A fuchsia unicorn with a purple mane spoke up from the back. "I can still cast. I just don't know very many spells. Nothing besides basic telekinesis and my special gem cutting spell." She gestured vaguely to the trio of gemstones on her flank.

"That's okay, um... Sparkler, right? That could come in handy, I think I can probably teach you a new trick."

Dash flared her wings. "You've got me Twi. If you get me out of these chains I can take down all of those old crones."

"I'm kinda strong too," Derpy chimed in. "Ponies don't usually notice because I'm clumsy, but we have to move a lot of heavy boxes at the delivery company."

"Ooh ooh ooh, pick me. I have all kinds of special skills Twilight! I'm good at throwing parties, and playing games and baking and disguises and pretending to get captured and—"

"And you have your Pinkie sense," Twilight interrupted. "And unless you had a lot of help with the writing, you've got a better understanding of the ancient religion these ponies are practicing. You literally wrote the book on it," she chuckled to herself.

"Okay, well first things first. We need to get out of these chains before those olden ponies come back. Not that I don't appreciate your combat prowess girls," Twilight smiled at the fillies, "but we'll stand a much better chance if we can all help each other. Sparkler, have you tried cutting through the collars with your gem cutting spell?"

"It doesn't work."

"Well, with some time I could teach you a knock spell, but I think it'd easier if we adapt something from your special talent. If I try to open these collars right now I'm liable to blow our heads off, so you're our best hope. Tell me about what it feels like when you use your gem cutting spell."

"Well, I close my eyes and sort of reach out with the magic, just like telekinesis. But I focus more and it's like using a really really strong magnifying glass. I can see all the little tiny crystals that make up the big crystal. They're fuzzy, like I can't really see them but I can sense where the crystal changes from cracks or imperfections. Then I just find some of those lines in the gemstone where all the little crystals line up, and I sort of slide the gem apart."

"Okay, good. But when you try to slide the iron apart it just sort of slips a bit and doesn't change at all, right?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Thats why iron is more malleable than gems are, the crystal lattice can slide around more easily without snapping. Without a lot more practice, you're not going to be able to break through one of these collars, but you should be able to break the hinge open. Focus on the spot where the collar closes around your neck. There is a little iron pin that goes through both halves of the collar, the hinge rotates around it. Close your eyes and focus only on that pin."

"Okay..."

"The hinge looks to be the same cast iron as the collars, so it should be made of iron and carbon. As the iron was cooled, that carbon crystallized, and some of it crystallized into sheets of graphite. The same stuff we use in pencils. With your spell you can find the places where the iron stops being all mixed together and you have a little sheet of graphite. Find the spot in the pin with the most graphite and you should be able to snap it along that line. Then just use your telekinesis to pull the halves of the pin out either end and the collar should fall off."

Sparkler closed her eyes and her horn glowed a mulberry color just a bit different from Twilight's. She concentrated for a minute. Dash couldn't see anything happening. She was about to ask if it was working when she heard the tinkling of two little bits of metal hitting the floor, followed by a louder clang.

The young unicorn looked at Twilight, surprised with herself. Twilight grinned back at her. "Great job, now free the rest of us please."

Sparkler touched her horn against Derpy's collar, and with the contact it seemed to go faster. After a moment Derpy was free as well. Sparkler toured the room, destroying each collar in turn. At last she came to Rainbow Dash. As the bits of pin tinkled to the floor, Dash spread her wings and jumped into the air. She did three or four laps around the room, brushing her mane against the ceiling, before coming to the rest in the center.

"It feels so good to stretch. Okay, so now what, Twi?"

Twilight suppressed her giggling with a bit of effort. "Now we plan our escape and wait for them to come back and open the way. I don't think any of us can move this boulder." She was examining the huge rock blocking the doorway. "Those ponies must be very strong to move a rock like this, even with good leverage. I'm worried there actually may be something to this 'god' they want to sacrifice us to."

Pinkie Pie jumped onto her back hooves. Her hair went flat, then puffed out again. Her left eye twitched wildly and her fur stood on end, giving her an oddly fluffy appearance. She bounced into the air three times, then fell to her knees, shuddering.

"What was that one?"

"Magic. Really powerful magic coming back from a long vacation. Last time I felt that one was the morning Discord woke up."

"Thats not a good sign," Derpy muttered.

Twilight rubbed a hoof against her chin. "It doesn't necessarily indicate the same level of power Discord has. I still don't know how Pinkie... works, exactly, but you'd expect there to be a burst of magical energy whenever the consciousness of a divine or semi-divine being enters the world. Maybe she's sensing that."

"Regardless, I think we can assume they moved up the timeline for their sacrifice," Twilight said. "They'll be back for us soon, I expect."

Dash took a commanding tone, "Okay fillies get over there," she said, pointing to the corner nearest the entrance, "and be prepared to run out when we have those old mares distracted. Try to make it out of here, we'll catch up when we can. Twilight and Sparkler, you two take the second one through the door, try to knock her out and definitely don't let her escape." She flew to a spot just over the entrance, hovering in place. "Derpy, I want you up here with me. We wait until the second one comes through, then we dive at the first one and carry her over to the wall. Pinkie, you get over near the chain across from the door, where they had you tied up. You're in charge of tying up first mare we bring you, then go help Twilight and Sparkler."

"You forgot me," Spike mummered. Before Dash could come up with a task for him, Twilight jumped in.

"Go with the fillies, Spike. Don't stop and don't come back for us until you can get a message to the Princess."

"Okay Twilight. You're sure you'll be okay?"

Twilight smiled reassuringly at her assistant, "I'll be fine, I just want to be sure you and the girls are safe."

The raspy voices of their jailers emerged from somewhere beyond the boulder. Everypony scrambled to their places just as the massive stone rolled aside. Agnus and Goody reentered the room, each mare holding a damp cloth. Even from a few feet above them, Dash could smell the overpowering odor drifting up to her. It was the same stuff they had used to knock her out.

As she walked in, Agnus raised her voice, "Bad news for you lot, the master is awake. And he's very hungry after sleeping for so many years. It's been nearly a century since he last ate. I think he's going to want a second helping."

Only then did the two earth ponies look around and notice the empty chains around the cave.

"Now!"

Dash and Derpy dove toward Agnus; Twilight and Sparkler were instantly standing between Goody and the exit. The two unicorns lowered their horns as if they were about to charge.

Dash buzzed her wings trying to eke every extra bit of speed she could out of her dive. In such close quarters it was hard to move fast enough. The smell began to make her dizzy, but she closed her eyes and rammed head-first into the old pony. Flapping as hard as she could, Dash plowed the mare toward the far wall. There was a soft flutter and a thud as Derpy dropped away to the side somewhere, then a shudder went through Dash's neck she slammed the old mare into the rough-hewn rock wall. Dash collapsed to the ground. She tried to open her eyes, but the room swirled around her.

"Let me get that for you Dashie."

Something bright pink flashed into view. There was a complicated series of rattles and clanks and then it was gone. As Dash scrambled backwards, her vision cleared enough to for details to come back into focus. Agnus was lying on her back, hog-tied with the chain still attached to the wall where Pinkie had been chained up less than an hour ago. Her dusky blue head flopped to the side, still stunned from her impact with the wall. Rainbow turned around to survey the room.

Derpy was lying in the middle of the room, wheezing. Sparkler was slumped against the wall. Goody must have bucked her pretty hard. Twilight eyed the tawny earth pony and was pawing at the ground like she was going to charge, even without magic. For how scared she could be sometimes, that pony knew no fear when the bits were down.

Just as Twilight began her charge and the earth pony braced herself for impact, a magenta aura grasped one of the soaking cloths that had been dropped on the ground in the scuffle. Sparkler glared as she rose to her hooves and magically wrapped the rag around Goody's nose. The old pony collapsed in a heap well before Twilight reached her. That stuff really was strong.

Twilight took a few deep breaths, composing herself. "Good job Sparkler. Dash, could you come here and help me carry her to the chains?"

Rainbow flew over and although she didn't really need any help from Twilight, she let the unicorn help her marehandle the old pony to the wall. She was surprisingly light despite the unnatural strength and vitality. Twilight pulled a chain over from either side of the mare and tied one around each of her forelegs, leaving her sprawled on the floor. She nibbled on her lower lip as she tied some complicated series of knots Rainbow couldn't quite follow. With a yank on each chain to make sure they were tight enough, Twilight stoop over her former captor and brushed the dust from her hooves.

Sparkler was helping her mother to her hooves, having left the other rag with that weird sleep potion hanging over Agnus' snout. Dash and Twilight trotted to the door and waited for the other three mares. Dash lead the way out of the cave only to trip over Dinky standing at the entrance. Spike and the rest of the fillies were gathered around, mouths gaping at something as they stared through the narrow passageway and out into the vast cavern it opened into. An underground river dropped from somewhere above them in a thunderous waterfall. At the bottom was a deep pool from which rose a greenish black thing. It looked vaguely like an enormous toad with antlers, but there was something feline about the shape of its head and the way it moved—like a fog bank rolling in—reminded Dash of no animal at all.

"I think we're gonna need a new plan," she said.

The huge toad-god turned it's pony-sized eye towards her, as if it were gazing into her soul. Twilight shuddered. All her faults, all her screwups, all the times she'd been a bad student or a bad friend rose to the top of her mind. With some effort, she averted her gaze and addressed the group.

"Pinkie, is that the thing you felt, do you think?"

"Yuppers!" The party pony was amazingly calm.

"Those books I read, from Screwy Loose's house. They seemed to imply this was some sort of summer harvest god. That's why the sacrifice has to happen at this time of year, right? And they said it was last fed around a century ago. There was a whole rash of disappearances eighty-nine years ago, in the middle of summer. It was the hottest summer on record, and a bumper year for Ponyville's crops. The authors of 'Witch-Cults in Western Equestria' used that as one of the prime examples of Pre-Celestian religions still operating in Equestria today."

Pinkie nodded, "That explains that cool book with the froggy on the cover! Loosey must have found out what it looked like."

"So what are we supposed to do about it," Dash asked.

"That's what I'm trying to work out." Twilight scratched her head, cataloging everything she knew about the monster in front of them. "Pinkie, you're a genius; that thing is probably an amphibian... more or less."

Everypony looked at her like she was crazy, so Twilight pressed on. "The winter after all those ponies went missing was a really cold one. When it gets cold, amphibians hibernate! It must have hibernated in this cave. And now it's woke up. But if we can somehow get it cold enough, it might go back to sleep again. We can at least slow it down long enough for Celestia and Luna to arrive."

"I can handle that," Dash said.

"It's going to take more than two Pegasi to generate a cold weather system in here with such limited airflow, Dash."

Rainbow puffed up her chest, "We don't need to create a low pressure system like that. We just need to get it cold enough to slow down, right. The Rainblow Dry." She looked around as if this should be obvious, but Twilight raised an eyebrow and everypony else just looked confused. "All we have to do is get it wet and use the dry air to evaporate the water. Every drop of evaporating water will suck more body heat out of that thing, with enough water it should get plenty cold."

Everypony but Derpy stared at Rainbow Dash. Twilight noticed her mouth was hanging open. "How do you know about science?!"

"It's pegasus stuff! I'm not completely clueless, Twi. I know all about water and air and temperature and junk. Come on Derpy, you're with me." Dash took off. Derpy gave Twilight a wide smile and leapt into the air after her.

"Rainbow Dash is so cool," sighed Scootaloo.

"Yeah she really is, isn't she?" said Twilight. It was easy to forget with all the bragging she did, but Dash really was one of the most impressive ponies she knew. And the bragging could be kind of cute sometimes. She tore her gaze away from Dash's retreating flanks and focused back on the group.

"Okay, Sparkler, go back to the cell, pick up those rags and use them to knock out anypony we run into. Someone had to summon that thing, there must be at least one more. Pinkie, you're in charge of protecting the Dinky and the crusaders. Keep them in this hallway until I yell that it's safe to move forward. Spike, jump on my back, you're coming with Sparkler and me."

Sparkler was already galloping back from the cell. Twilight motioned for her to be quiet and the two unicorns crept out onto the ramp leading down toward the lake. Sweetie Belle and Dinky in particular looked worried, but Pinkie was already doing her best to lighten their moods with some sort of complicated mime routine. Twilight stumbled along the uneven ramp and forced herself to pay more attention to where she was going. Dash was going to need all the help she could get.

"Okay Derpy, you get behind that waterfall and blow as much water as you can at this monster. I want this whole cave soaked in mist. When I move in, start making rainclouds and kick them over toward that thing's head."

With a nod, Derpy sped off toward the waterfall while Dash began to circle the cavern, looking for an opening. Getting in close was always the hardest part. It didn't take long for the beast to be soaked by the spray of mist arcing through the air and falling all around it. Derpy had surprisingly good aim.

The thing looked wet enough, and had started moving towards Twilight and Sparkler, so Dash dove towards its ankles and began circling as fast as she could. It took longer with something this big, but she raised a fairly powerful cyclone and had it dry again in no time. She took off for the ceiling and felt a warmer wind coming at her from the side. She juked left and just missed a shadowy claw swinging through the air at her.

Dash came to a rest atop one of the clouds floating overhead. She didn't have time to really catch her breath, but she took a few deep gulps of air before jumping up and down on the thick black cloud to make it rain.

When the thing looked even more wet than before, Dash waited for it to glance away from her and back to the pair of unicorns charging a dull-green earth pony near the edge of its lake. Dash tucked her wings to her sides and dove, almost brushing the surface of the water this time, before spiraling up around it. She circled faster and faster, she thought she could see the thing shivering just a bit. It was working!

She gave out a whoop of joy that her plan was working and tilted her wings to draw herself into a tighter spiral. She was going to get every drop of water off this thing. Just as she finished her final loop and took off toward the increasingly large raincloud overhead, something dark and slimy appeared in front of her.

Dash slammed into it hard, the wind completely knocked out of her. Something clammy and damp closed around her wings. She pushed against it as hard as she could, but she could barely move. It could crush her, but it didn't. Flinging her head wildly from side to side, Dash caught sight of its open mouth. It was going to eat her alive.

Twilight stood looking out at the rainbow tornado Dash was creating. Behind her, Sparkler tied up the old grey-green mare who seemed to be the high priest, while Spike rummaged through Twilight's confiscated saddlebags for a quill and ink.

"Got it, Twilight. What should I write?" Spike's question only half-registered; at that moment Twilight saw the toad-thing reach out a hand in front of the rainbow blur circling it. Twilight could swear she heard the wet slapping sound from across the cavern.

"You're a smart dragon, figure it out. Sparkler, throw whatever you can at that thing. Aim for it's eyes."

A few sharp rocks bounced harmlessly off the monster's face. It didn't seem to notice. It's attention was entirely on the pegasus in it's globby claw. After a moment of contemplation, it started pulling Rainbow Dash toward its mouth.

Oh Celestia, that thing lives on live pony sacrifices. It's going to eat her! In that moment, Twilight knew that the potential of burning out her magic was an acceptable risk. Better a life without magic than a life without Rainbow Dash. She let loose a beam of pure energy at the ceiling. It wouldn't do to give the thing any heat, so concussive force would have to do.

She let loose a swirl of violet magic to pull and fuse the falling rock into a triangle. The toad-thing was opening its mouth to consume Dash as the stone wedge connected with it's skull, splitting it down to the thing's eye level. A blue shape fell from it's grasp, falling toward the water.

Twilight screamed, but before Dash hit the water, a grey blur swooped down and caught her. It only took another moment for Dash to get flying on her own again. The split between the monster's eyes was sealing up, though. Before Twilight could yell a warning, she saw Derpy and Dash both dart up to the clouds swirling around the ceiling of the cavern. There was a downpour, soaking everything. The mist from the rain hitting the pool splashed up and soaked Twilight's mane. And just as quickly as it had started, it stopped.

Dash and Derpy dove down again and began to circle faster and faster as the mist cleared. Twilight's forehead was burning, sparks flying everywhere; it felt like her brain was going to catch fire. She pushed through the pain. No time for this right now..

"This is our chance! Get out of here Sparkler. Spike, go with her, I'll get the others." Twilight galloped back to the ramp and began to run up it until she skidded into a crouching, surprisingly stealthy pink pony.

"Shhh. Keep quiet, Twilight. The girls and I decided it was time to escape. My tail is a-twitchin' something awful. We'd better get out before the roof comes down. Besides, Lord Toadstag down there seems distracted for the moment."

"I was thinking the same thing Pinkie, keep moving." Twilight turned and followed them back down the ramp. Spike was astride Sparkler and the two of them were already halfway to the stream that marked the exit.

Twilight took up the rear as the group skirted the edge of the lake. Every few seconds she glanced over her shoulder to check the progress of the twirling pegasi. They kept their cycle up, and although the huge monster made a few more grabs at them, it was slower and slower each time. By the time Twilight had reached the mossy overhang where the underground stream flowed out into the swamp, the eyes of the monster had slid closed.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight screamed. The tornado began to slow as Dash appeared in front of her, hovering. "It's cold enough. Celestia is on her way. Let's get out of here."

Dash saluted and spun back into the tornado, catching up to Derpy and yelling something in her ear. Twilight waited by the door until Rainbow Dash blew through the mossy curtain. The cavern trembled from the shockwave of her passage, it really was unstable. Twilight trotted through the moss and out into the nighttime swamp.

Rainbow Dash fluttered to a halt in front of the group, panting. They all looked exhausted—all except the Cutie Mark Crusaders anyway—but the high of victory and escape buoyed them up.

"Hey, has anyone seen my Mom?" Dinky spoke up for the first time since she'd been captured.

"Oh Sweet Celestia, did we leave her behind?" Twilight's mane stood on end, even more than it already was. She turned as if to rush back into the cave.

"I think I know where she is," Dash said.

As she spoke the earth shook beneath them. Everypony turned to stare back at the cave they'd emerged from and an enormous grey mushroom of dust erupted from the top of the cliff above them, near where the cavern's ceiling must have been. A lighter grey speck flew out the top, and a few minutes later Derpy landed between Sparkler and Dinky. She pulled both her children in tight against her with her wings.

"What was that?" Pinkie asked.

"That thing tried to eat my little muffins. Twice." Derpy hugged Sparkler and Dinky even tighter. "And I wouldn't want it to try a third time." She didn't look inclined to take any more questions.

"I suppose Celestia and Luna won't mind that monster being a little weaker before they do whatever they're going to do with it. I just hope those old ponies survived."

"The cells looked pretty sturdy, and that green one was under smaller overhang. They should be fine," Sparkler looked over at her little sister, "Although I can't say I'm as concerned with their well-being as you, Ms. Sparkle."

"Is your horn going to be okay, Twi?" Dash wiped the victorious grin off her face and stepped closer to Twilight, ready to support her in any way she might need.

"I don't know. The burning sensation has gone down, and it isn't as bad as it was after those muggers. I gave it almost a full day of rest after all. I think I'll be fine." Dash wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or just putting a brave face on things, but she didn't seem that worried. I probably ought to check myself in to Ponyville General when we get back, just to be safe."

"I might have been able to escape on my own, you know. You didn't have to risk yourself trying to save me."

"I couldn't bear to lose you, Dash." Twilight smiled a big smile that Dash hadn't seen since that night they had read comics in the library, the smile that melted Dash's heart and felt like a sonic rainboom in her soul.

"I've come to a realization, Rainbow." Twilight hung back from the group, and put a hoof in front of Dash to hold her back as well. Pinkie cheerily lead the rest along the bottom of the cliff. The ground was sloping up just a bit, and the top of the cliff was curving down. It wouldn't be long before they could turn back toward Ponyville. Dash raised an eyebrow, and Twilight took a deep breath.

"What I said on the train. About not dating your friends? That's stupid. It's something I got from a little filly's magazine on the rules of dating." Twilight smiled sheepishly. "I've got a pretty good guess what you were going to ask me back on the train. And I don't know if it will work out, but that's no reason not to give it a chance. My potential happiness with you is much higher than without."

"What exactly are you saying, Twi?"

Twilight grinned. "What are you doing tomorrow night, Dash. Because I know a great Fillypeno place." Twilight's smile was so bright, Dash could swear it was attracting mosquitoes. She grabbed her best friend and pulled her in to a deep kiss. There was an explosion like fireworks going off. Dash thought it was just in her mind, but then confetti started raining down around them. Pinkie really did bring that party canon everywhere.

A few weeks later, back in the library, Twilight walked into the main room to find Spike and Pinkie glaring at each other across a mostly-scribbled-out piece of parchment.

"What are you two arguing about this time?" Twilight sighed.

"We really really really need to get the final issue of "Rainbow Flash and the Mysterious Mare Do Well" in today. Uncle Stan is getting impatient and it still takes at least a day to get drawn once we send it in. But we can't decide how to end it!"

"I think it's obvious that Tw—" Spike coughed, "that Mare Do Well was the hero of the story, so we should end with Rainbow Flash asking her out."

"You're so silly. Dashie was the hero. She defeated the bad guy and she had the most action. Twilight should ask her out. We already got them together in real life, now we have to think about," Pinkie reared up on her hind legs and waved her forehooves around faux-menacingly, "the readers."

"Does it really matter who asked who out?" Twilight asked. Dragon and earth pony glared at her.

"Of course it matters, silly!"

"We have to think about where you fit in traditional gender roles in the story. Gender politics is important!"

"Dash and I are both girls.

"Yeah, and the hero always gets the girl in the end."

Rainbow Dash wandered in from the kitchen, grinning playfully. "Well we're obviously both the hero then." She lunged forward and Twilight fell over backwards. Dash's hooves were already there to catch her and pull her in for a passionate kiss. The made out until Spike's gagging noises began to sound real.

Twilight gulped in a deep breath of air. "Well, good luck figuring that out you two. My marefriend and I are going to have to take our gender politics debate upstairs." A rainbow streaked blur sped up the stairs, and Twilight galloped up after it.

Spike rolled his eyes, "Gross."

Author's Note

This story was written for the TwiDash Group's first story contest.

Special thanks to:
CinnamonSwirlTheBreaded for prereading and being an amazing sounding board,

and to Lapis-Lazuli for frantic editing above and beyond the call of duty. Also, you can blame him for a stray Back to the Future reference.

Issue #1: The Pride of Ponyville

Rainbow Dash dropped lightly onto a branch overlooking the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse. An orange pegasus filly lay on the shady balcony with a brightly-colored comic book open in front of her, taking refuge from the summer heat.

"Hey Squirt, whatcha reading?"

"Oh hi Rainbow Dash! It’s just the most awesome thing ever. It’s about you! But they spelled your name wrong,” she frowned for a moment, “will you sign it for me?"

Rainbow Dash looked confused, "Wait, what? Since when am I in a comic? Let me see that.”

Scootaloo held up the comic book. The cover featured a suspiciously familiar sky-blue pegasus galloping down an alley beside a purple-cloaked pony wearing a fedora. "Rainbow Flash and the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well! It's this awesome new comic Spike gave me. He said—"

"Mare-Do-Well’s only been around for two weeks! The parade was yesterday! How the hay did they get this written so soon?"

"I think they just made stuff up. Rainbow Flash is super fast—just like you—but her real name is Berry Melon and she’s a Wonderbolt and she only ever flies at half-speed because she doesn’t want to reveal her secret identity but she’s still super fast.” She took a quick gasp of air, “And she and Mare-Do-Well used to be enemies but then they found out they’re both good and now they're teamed up against an evil gryphon named Gel-dar, Queen of the Parasprites! You’re gonna sign it for me right? Even though they got your name wrong?"

"Sure, kid. Can I borrow it first though?"

"You can keep it if you want Rainbow Dash. This is my third time reading it and I don't think Sweetie is gonna read her copy more than once. You could just sign hers when she's done and she'll probably let me have it."

"Nah, that's all right Squirt, I'll have it back to tomorrow, autographed and everything."

"Oh, okay. Thanks Rainbow Dash!"

But Scootaloo found herself addressing only the afterimage of a rainbow blur, arcing back toward Ponyville.

A flutter of wings cleared away the dust clouds billowing up from a not-so-mysterious crash landing in the library. It was the first cool breeze Twilight Sparkle had felt all day; she luxuriated in the all-to-brief wind in her mane. The dissipating dust revealed Rainbow Dash standing atop a mound of recently unshelved books. The angry muttering of a baby dragon could be heard somewhere beneath.

"Twilight!" Rainbow leapt down from the book pile, "Twilight have you seen this comic? This is so awesome!

Twilight brought a parchment and quill up to her face and scribbled something down. "Rainbow Dash." She chewed her lip for a moment. "So with Bon Bon, Derpy, Featherweight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Scootaloo, Snips, Spike, and Rainbow, plus one for the general circulation, that's 10 copies weekly. I'm glad somepony is finally taking advantage of the grant money we have budgeted for—"

"We're superheroes Twi!"

"What do you mean we? Are the girls all in that comic? Spike has been trying to get me to read it since he talked me into ordering the first issue, but we just got our order in yesterday and I admit I haven't gotten around to it yet. You see, I've been reading some classics of the modern comics industry, to give myself a better context in which to judge this one. Have you ever heard of "Discord City" by Flank Quiller? I can't say I've liked all of what I've read, but his have been some of the best."

"None of that stuff matters, Twi! Just read the comic so we can talk about it. You're practically my sidekick."

"Just me, or the other girls too? I wonder how the author figured out that we were behind the Mare Do Well?"

"I wouldn't say she figured it out, exactly."

"What is that supposed to mean? Is—" Twilight was interrupted by a pounding on the library door."

"Get that, would you Spike."

"In a minute! I'm almost done cleaning up Rainbow's mess."

The knocking continued. "Rainbow, get the door."

The sudden gust through the library sent a stack of loose paper spiraling up into the air, they fell back to the floor like a carpet of autumn leaves. Rainbow Dash opened the door, pulled a large box inside, and slammed it again. The knocking began anew. Dash opened the door again.

"What do you want Derpy?" Dash looked annoyed at the interruption but Twilight had always had a soft spot for the mailmare. She was one of the few ponies who Twilight felt she could really open up to about her desire for romance. Derpy could take her feelings seriously and not feel the need to "solve" the problem by immediately trying to set her up on some kind of blind date.

"Um, well, I was just kinda wondering if these were the new Flash and Mare Do Well comics? It's just, um, Dinky has been so excited since the last one. And I think Sparkler likes them too, even if she'll never admit it."

Twilight teleported over to the box. "Lets see, yeah this is from Mareville comics, it should be them, along with a few other things I ordered. I got you your own copy to keep this time Derpy, no need to share with Bon Bon."

"Thats so nice of you Twilight. It's so strange to get this comic from you. You're a celebrity now. Well, not that you weren't before with Nightmare Moon and Discord and all that, but it's so amazing to get the comic book from the hero herself. Dinky really admires you, you know."

"Hey, I thought I was the hero."

"You're kind of the hero too, Dash, but super speed isn't much of a power compared to magical strength and shadow-sense. And Mare Do Well is Equestria's greatest detective on top of all that."

"Really, so I'm Fetlock Holmes and Rainbow is my Dr. Trotson huh." Twilight looked Dash up and down. She could definitely pull off the traditional hat, although the mustache might look a bit odd.

"Well you two look like you have a lot to talk about. I'd b-better be going," the wall-eyed pegasus stammered. She flew out the door with surprising speed. The gust pulled the door closed behind her, and once again caused the stack of papers Spike had carefully collected to erupt into the air. The little dragon muttered to himself, but diligently returned to cleaning up the mess.

"Hey Twilight?"

"Yeah Dash?"

"Do you think I could borrow the new issue after you're done with it?"

Twilight was surprised to see her friend take an interest in any kind of reading and she surely wasn't going to discourage it. "Of course. But you haven't finished the first one either have you?"

"I just started it on the way over here."

"Well I haven't read it either, so how about you stay for dinner and we'll read the second one together." Seeing a panicked look in Rainbow's eyes, she added, "Spike's cooking, don't worry."

The two mares lay down beside each other on the floor. Twilight levitated the two copies of "Mysterious Mare-Do-Well #1" over and set one down in front of each of them. Their eyes met and Twilight gave a little smirk.

"Hey Rainbow, I challenge you to a race. Last one done has to help Spike with the dishes."

"No fair, you know you're a faster reader than I am."

"Yeah, but you've got a head start. You're not chicken are you? Rainbow?"

"Nopony calls me chicken."

Twilight tried to come up with a retort, but the pegasus already had her eyes back down on the page in front of her. She waved her hooves around but got no response. Smiling to herself, she turned to her own copy and began to read. Twilight hated dishes.

Spike prepared a daisy, dandelion, and apple salad; and a simple bowl of fresh sapphires for himself. Twilight had won the reading race, but Rainbow had finished just a few minutes later, much sooner than she'd expected. They discussed the story over dinner, repeatedly descending into argument over who was whose sidekick. The writers had changed a lot of minor details, but the heroine behind the purple fedora was uncannily similar to Twilight. There was no hint of the other ponies who had played the part.

Dash thought about this for a moment. "Pinkie probably blabbed the story to somepony but didn't want to take credit for some reason."

Twilight frowned and looked deep into Dash's eyes. Even when she looked sad like that, she had really pretty eyes. "The whole scheme was sort of my idea, you know. The girls just went along with me." Twilight looked like she was about to cry. "Spike left his notes out this morning—from when he was going to write your autobiography—and I just want to say I never meant to hurt you, Dash. Looking back today, I can see why you were so upset. I'm sorry. We got so caught up in teaching you a lesson, we didn't notice when it turned from giving you a little humility to just being mean. I want you to know the girls and I would never abandon you. We should have just talked to you instead of doing what we did."

"Well thanks Twi, but I'm over it. I was mad for a bit, but I got to thinking, the whole thing was kind of fun. I mean, I was everypony's greatest hero for a while! Then I had a nemesis, just like a real superhero! And you know, I'm kind of sad it's all over now. I heard AJ lassoed another runaway carriage going down that hill this morning, but she was just bein' Applejack. No costume, no catchphrase, nothing. She just did that thing where she lifts up her hat a bit without really taking it off and walked away. She walked away! She's got no style."

"Since when did you turn into Rarity?"

"Oh, heh. Yeah that is the kind of thing she'd say, isn't it?"

Twilight stuck her muzzle into the air like some Canterlot snob. "If one is going to become a hero, one simply must make oneself presentable. Saving ponies without a catch phrase is practically a crime in itself." She fell out of her chair giggling at herself. After a moment, Dash joined her.

When they both finally calmed down—after a several false starts ruined by one of the two laughing, which inevitably started the cycle over again—Twilight rolled onto her side and said, "You don't have to do the dishes if you don't want to, Rainbow. I don't really care about the race... I just wanted somepony else around and it seemed like the best way to get you to stay. Spike always goes to sleep right after dinner."

Sure enough, the dragon was curled up into an oblivious ball of scales on his chair, snoring. Rainbow was no fan of doing dishes, but she knew Twilight hated it even more. It was sweet of her to volunteer. Dash pulled herself to her feet and headed resolutely for the sink.

"Nope. I lost. I'm trying to be better about that, so I'm gonna wash the dishes like we said. You can make it up to me if you want to though."

"Oh really?" Twilight raised and eyebrow, "and how would I do that?"

"You could read the next one to me." Dash blushed. "Out loud, I mean."

"Okay Rainbow. I didn't know you liked that sort of thing."

"Yeah, I sometimes come by and listen outside your window on Wednesdays. When you read stories to the Crusaders."

"You can come inside and listen if you want, Dash." Twilight seemed far too enthusiastic about this idea.

"I'd feel weird. But thanks." Dash liked the idea of spending more time in the library—more time with a certain librarian anyway—without having to do anything as uncool as reading. Somehow being read to seemed preferable. But she'd rather not let her little fan club know that.

"Twilight?"

"Yes, Rainbow?"

"Can you do the voices?"

Twilight giggled, but nodded. "I wouldn't read it any other way."

An hour later, the two mares lay side by side in front of the library fireplace with Spike curled up between them. Twilight felt so content she couldn't even get depressed at the thought that this is what was missing from her life. She loved reading of course, but there was something special about reading to someone. She wished she could have somepony like Dash around all the time.

"I can't believe they ended the issue there. We really have to wait until the next one to find out who the Fuchsia Foalnapper really is? If Rainbow Flash were really like me, she'd have ripped that mask off right away instead of drawing it out like that. The Foalnapper is nuts! It's not like she's ever gonna change, what's the point of lecturing her on being a good citizen?"

"I think they want the comic to have a good message for kids, Rainbow."

"I guess so." Dash scrunched up her brow, adorably serious. "You don't think there really is a Fuchsia Foalnapper do you?"

"Of course there isn't."

"But they got all the other details right: the hot air balloon, the construction site, the dam. That hill leading up to her secret lair looked just like the one all those wagons and strollers are have been falling down lately."

"They were just reusing the hill they already drew for the runaway carriage scene. It'd be familiar to readers, and theres a good chance the author has never been to Ponyville."

"You don't think it's just a little bit weird that so many details were right?"

Rainbow might have a point, Twilight thought to herself. But it wouldn't do to jump to conclusions. "Well it is a little weird. But there were all those reporters around, interviewing everypony about the Mare Do Well and everything. They even tried to interview me! And what about Applejack? She wouldn't just blurt out our secret, but I can't imagine she would have lied to anypony either. Or if she did, they'd see right through it."

"You're right, it's probably nothing." Dash was grinning again and Twilight found it hard to keep her worried train of thought on track. There was something about Dash that made her cheerfulness especially contagious tonight. "This was really fun Twilight."

"I had fun too Rainbow."

The pegasus pawed bashfully at the ground. "Do you think... I don't want to steal the fillies' story time, but do you think I could come over and have my own story time? I'd help out around the library if you want."

Twilight was flabbergasted. She'd been plotting ways to get Rainbow to read for months. She didn't expect her to just fall into her hooves like this. "You don't have to do anything Rainbow. I rather like reading to ponies, actually." She clapped her hooves together excitedly. "It means I get to pick out books and you don't have any choice but to listen to them! Watch out or I'll go mad with power." She grinned manically.

"I trust you Twi. And you know, if you ever want to go dress up as heroes and save somepony, I'm always up for it."

Twilight's horn glowed for a moment and the purple fedora appeared on her head with an audible pop.

Dash put on a serious face. "Until we meet again, Mare Do Well." She winked, and was gone so quickly Twilight found herself wondering if Dash's comic alter-ego was really all that exagerated.

Dash curled up in her cloud bed and tried to sleep. She imagined what it would be like to be a hero again. There had been a certain thrill to saving ponies and having a catchphrase and all that, it wasn't just about all the praise she got from everypony. Getting caught up in that had been part of the problem.

It would be so much more fun if her friends decided to be heroes too—if they could work together as a team like in the comics instead of having to one-up each other. Twilight really was the perfect partner for that kind of thing, whatever pony had written the comic had made a good choice.

AJ would take things too seriously, Pinkie wouldn't take them seriously enough. Applejack was a hero, but a really boring one. Pinkie's freakish ability to predict the future had probably been crucial in the Mare Do Well always being in the right place at the right time. Pinkie was a good pony, but without a leader like Twilight she'd never have stepped up to the plate as a hero.

No, if one pony had to get credit for being the real Mare Do Well it was Twilight. She was the brains behind the idea, but she was so much more than that too. She was the leader, the planner, but she was also the most powerful. AJ or Pinkie could save a runaway stroller or an imperiled construction worker almost as well as Rainbow Dash herself, but Twilight was the only pony Dash knew who could single-handedly plug up a burst dam or fight off an Ursa Minor.

Dash rolled over again. Her brain was still going way too fast to sleep. Even if Twilight made the best hero, she wished she could prove she was a hero too. Twilight had her blind spots. That mare was never as confident in her own abilities as she should be and she couldn't think straight if she started to panic about some little thing. Twilight needed a partner. Somepony self-assured and confident to balance her out. Somepony like Rainbow Dash.

And Twilight over-thought everything, but a real hero sometimes had to trust her gut. Maybe it was just some weird kind of wishful thinking but Dash's gut told her that the Fuchsia Foalnapper was real. So many weird things had been happening lately, and then a comic book comes out that just happens to get so many of the details correct? Something was going on here. Maybe there was no rational reason to assume there would be trouble on that hill, but wouldn't it be worse to find out there had been and she had just been laying here tossing and turning?

Before she had any more time to talk herself out of it, Rainbow Dash was out the door and flying back toward Ponyville.

Twilight was creeping from building to building, her dark purple costume providing slightly better nighttime camouflage than her lavender coat. She felt silly coming out here at midnight, but Dash was right. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that there were a lot of details in that comic that were a bit too accurate. She saw something move in the corner of her eye and paused. It looked like it was fiddling with the door of the little house behind the well.

Twilight ducked behind a corner, hopefully out of sight of whoever had been sneaking around. She closed her eyes and pictured the little house across the square in her mind. She wondered if she should have gone to get Rainbow Dash first; it was stupid to be out here alone. But Dash was probably asleep by now, curled up under her Wonderbolts blanket with that cute little look—no, she had to focus.

Twilight cleared her mind and aimed for the roof of the little cabin. The universe faded out of existence and faded back in. She felt the wind around her again, but nothing under her hooves. Twilight swore, legs flailing wildly in the air. She had missed her target. Again.

Rainbow Dash was gliding silently over Ponyville, spiraling up along a thermal from the swamp just outside of town when she spotted a furtive figure sneaking into the yellow-roofed house near the top of the hill. She tucked her wings almost completely against her sides and dove like a falcon. At the last possible moment, she snapped her wings out to kill her speed and dropped silently onto the roof.

She was proud of how stealthy she'd been, and took a moment to pat herself on the back. A muffled scream erupted from within the house. It sounded like a filly. There was another voice, older, but Dash couldn't make out what it said. As she tried to figure out what to do, there was a popping sound overhead. Dash looked up as something dark and purple loomed over her.

"Celestia damned field curvature!" the purple splotch muttered. It dropped onto the small of Dash's back and sent her tumbling off her perch on the edge of the roof. Dash let out a sharp yelp but cut herself off. The impact didn't seem to be coming. She was hovering a few inches above the ground.

The tangled mess of limbs touched gently to the ground, surrounded in a pale purple glow. Dash heard a voice whisper in her ear.

"Rainbow, what are you doing here?"

"Twi? Oh sweet Luna, I thought someone was attacking me."

"I saw somepony sneaking around, it was you wasn't it?"

"I just got here Twi. I saw something too. I think there's somepony in the house. And Twi—"

Twilight looked at her expectantly.

"Twi, I think I heard a filly yelling for help inside."

"We've got to go in! You're sure that's what you heard?"

"Well I can't be sure, but I'm pretty sure."

"Okay, well if you're wrong, we'll just apologize, but we can't risk letting a filly get hurt. The door's unlatched." Twilight had her hoof on the door handle and had cracked it open slightly. Her horn was glowing faintly.

Rainbow stretched her neck up, looking over Twilight's shoulder when a beam of light exploded from the unicorn's horn just as the opening door slammed her back against Rainbow's chest. The beam arced into the sky, briefly illuminating the terrified eyes of a periwinkle unicorn filly slung over the back of the blue pony already racing down the hill.

Dash took to the air as Twilight scrambled to her feet. The blue pony was half-sliding/half-running down the hill and and at the rate she was going she'd be at the bottom in ten seconds flat. She didn't look like she had any intention of stopping.

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings as hard as she could, harder than she'd flapped at practice in weeks. The wind was blowing against her but it didn't take long to gain enough altitude with how fast the hill dropped away beneath them. Pulling her wings back against her, Rainbow tucked into a dive. She had almost reached the midnight blue lunatic when she saw a tiny blonde and periwinkle form fly out over the cliff.

Adjusting her course with a swish of her rainbow tail, Dash dropped past the blue mare so closely she could almost feel the hot crazed breath against her wings. Tucked into a perfect dive, she fell faster by just enough to catch a blonde tail in her mouth moments before they would have hit the swamp. Dash opened her wings and with a sharp jerk she and her tiny charge transfered their downward momentum to horizontal, skimming just above the surface of the water. Dash flapped hard to gain altitude, all the while keeping her eyes open for alligators or any other predator that might be active. It was hard to see anything by the light of the crescent moon, but there was a rotten deathly smell in the air and the swamp seemed almost too quiet. Dash breathed a sigh of relief when they finally attained enough height to see the lights of Ponyville.

The sky glowed purple, a bright violet ball hung over the top of the hill like a miniature sun. It wasn't bright enough to wake anypony from sleep, but it must be visible for miles. There was already a crowd gathering around the house.

Rainbow Dash touched down in the center of the crowd, and had barely released the filly from her mouth when a grey pegasus came flying at her.

"Oh Dinky, Dinky, my little muffin. You're alright! When you didn't come home for dinner I looked everywhere but nopony had seen you. Oh I'm so glad you're alright." Raising her misaligned eyes from her daughter, Derpy managed to focus them both, for a moment, on Rainbow Dash.

"I don't know how I can ever repay you Dash, but anything you need, just name it. And if you ever find out who that Mare Do Well is, you thank her too."

"Wait, you don't know who she is?"

"Of course not. She vanished just like always, right after tying up that madmare over there. It's a good thing Twilight heard the fight and came out. She sent up that flare to summon the Guard from Canterlot. Twilight says they'll be here in an hour or two and we just have to wait around until then. She's such a smart pony."

Rainbow blushed and ran a hoof through her mane. "Yeah, she's pretty great isn't she."

Derpy grinned at her. "She's almost as great as you. You two would be really cute together." The grey pegasus did something with her eyebrow that might have been an attempt at a wink. "She likes mares too, you know."

There was so much red in Dash's face at this point that her blue fur looked Mare-Do-Well purple. Before she could muster a response, the mailmare had taken off with her daughter on her back, swerving crazily back toward their home downtown.

"How does she know I like mares," Rainbow muttered to herself as she pushed through the crowd toward the front of the house. She could see a purple glow emanating from within and figured she should find her friend before saying anything to the crowd, since Twilight was still keeping the Mare Do Well identity as a secret for some reason.

Nurse Redheart was supervising a few other nurses who were holding the blue madmare down while trying to undo the ropes around her legs. She'd been "hog-tied" as Applejack called it, although Rainbow had never seen AJ tie up a pig—only timber wolves caught lurking around the farm. Rainbow could see that the madmare had a screw cutie mark. She had no idea what her special talent might be, but it seemed unlikely to have anything to do with kidnapping little fillies. Some kind of construction probably.

Mayor Mare was inside, watching as Twilight moved slowly around the room, looking carefully at things and shadowed by Pinkie for some reason. Pinkie was wearing a large hunting cap and blowing one of Derpy's hoof-made bubble pipes.

It didn't seem like Twilight was trying to adopt an air of superiority, but she came off like someone's arrogant professor all the same. "Now, if you look closely, Mayor, you'll see that the books on the floor are not purely random, as you might expect from such a disorganized mind. In fact, most of these books were checked out from the Ponyville library within the past month or so and never returned. We could categorize these books into two categories: the History of Ponyville and earlier settlements in this region, and mythology and pre-Celestian religious history. Not subjects widely read by the common foalnapper."

"So she was an egghead foalnapper?" Dash blurted.

"Oh, thank you for coming in Rainbow Dash, I heard you had a hand in helping the Mysterious Mare Do Well discover this madness." Dash caught Twi winking at her behind the Mayor and decided to leave it at that.

"Um, yeah. Me and her heard a kid crying inside the house, and tried to stop her, but she threw the poor filly off the cliff. Hey, do you think this has anything to do with all those carriages and wagons that have been falling down this hill lately?"

Twilight beamed at her. "I think it has everything to do with it. Loosey was coming to the library a lot, starting about a month ago. At first she was shy, but fairly talkative once you got her going. But each time she came in, she looked more and more frazzled. Like she hadn't been sleeping. Right before you saved that first stroller from falling down the hill, she stopped coming in. I think Loosey has been trying to throw somepony off that cliff since that time, if not earlier. But you and Mare Do Well kept foiling her and eventually she had to resort to foalnapping."

Mayor Mare scrunched up her brow, "But why would anypony want to do something like that. The doctors say she is insane, but most insane ponies just run around thinking they are dogs or trees or something."

"Well, that's where the books come in. I'll have to read them more closely, but she seems to be obsessed with old stories from the Pre-Celestian era. When there was a bad harvest or something, the Earth Pony tribes in this area used to sacrifice one or more of their foals, hoping to appease the gods. Old Earth Pony religions are really quite fascinating—"

"So she was going to feed poor Dinky to some big spooky god-thing?" Pinkie looked like she was genuinely paying attention for the first time since Dash arrived. "That's horrible. Good thing you and Dashie got here in time. And the Mare Do Well, whoever she is." Her face was such a picture of innocence, Dash would have believed she really didn't know if she hadn't ripped the Mare Do Well mask of Pinkie just yesterday. Maybe she'd forgotten somehow.

"Well yes, I suppose it was lucky. I wonder what she was hoping to achieve though. Applejack tells me summers as unusually hot as this one are traditionally very bountiful in Ponyville. Perhaps it's some new interpretation of the old religions. I'll have to study these books before I can say for certain."

"I'm quite certain you're up to the challenge, Ms. Sparkle. You are the closest thing to a representative of the Royal Government we have, and for a matter of this importance, I'd rather not have it be a purely local affair. But truth be told I'd rather have a Ponyville resident investigating this. You're more likely to be invested in the outcome. If she had accomplices we need to know, but I don't just want the Royal Guard interrogating ponies. Do ask them to let you handle it?"

Pinkie jumped up and down in front of the mayor. "Twilight is Equestria's greatest detective! You can count on her, Mayor Mare." Dash wondered if Pinkie knew she was quoting the opening of the comic book.

"Why are you here anyway Pinkie?" Dash asked.

"Twilight seemed like she needed a sidekick. You can't be a hero without a sidekick. Unless you want to be her sidekick, Dashie! Oh, oh, you should be her sidekick and then you can be partners and fight crime and spend so much time with each other that you're bestest friends forever."

Rainbow Dash blushed and scratched her ear with her hoof. "Um, sure I can help out, but I think Twi's got this on her own. What do you think, Twi?"

Twilight looked blankly up at them from one of the books. "Hmm? Oh you can both help look for clues if you want, but try not to disturb anything until the Royal Guard gets here. Look around, but don't take anything."

"Hey Twilight?" Pinkie was jumping even higher into the air on each bounce now, like a very pink dog about to go for a walk.

"Yes Pinkie?"

"Why is there a book on frogs?"

"What?"

Pinkie held up a yellow book with a friendly picture of a toad on the cover. She took a deep breath and released it as a long stream of surprisingly sensible words. "You said there were only two kinds of books but then I found a third kind so maybe it's a clue! It's a book about frogs and toads!"

Twilight was surprisingly interested. "Let me see that Pinkie." She grabbed the book in her magic before Pinkie had time to let go, dragging the excitable mare a few feet toward her. Pinkie seemed to enjoy the ride.

"Come on Mayor Mare. We better let these two egg-heads work. Why don't you come by Sugarcube corner for some hotchocolate on the house? Except not really on the house, more in the house. But free. With marshmallows in it!"

"Very well Pinkamena. The guards won't be here until morning I'm sure. Those of us who can sleep should do so. You're sure you'll be comfortable here by yourself Miss Sparkle?"

"Hmm? Oh yes I'll be fine. I've got Rainbow here to protect me after all." Twilight actually looked up from the book to smile at Dash at this point, "I don't think either of us could sleep anyway after all this."

"Speak for yourself Egg-head!" While studying didn't sound very fun, the prospect of staying up all night with Twilight had a certain appeal. "But umm, I'll stay here too, I guess. To keep Twi company."

"Very well. Keep that beacon going Ms. Sparkle. I'll be back around sunrise."

Pinkie bounced out of the room behind the Mayor, winking at Dash for some reason. Then she looked up at the lavender orb in the sky and started making faces at it.

Twilight settled into her book with barely a glance at the door. Rainbow paced back and forth, keeping guard. After a few hours, her legs grew tired, so she lay down on the floor beside Twilight. The next thing she knew, she was being shaken awake by something rough and scaly.

"Wake up Rainbow Dash."

Dash snuggled into something warm beside her and squeezed her eyes tighter. But the warm thing stood up and her head leaned into empty space, yanking her out of the warm comfortable haze and toward the cold floor.

"Oh, sorry Rainbow Dash," said the warm purple thing. "We have to get up now. Spike says the Royal Guard are almost here."

"And I made tea!" added the baby dragon, "Earl Neigh with milk and sugar, just the way Rarity likes it."

"Is there any chance I could sleep in?" Rainbow asked through a yawn.

"Well not here, but I can talk to the guards while you go home and nap. A lot of this stuff lines up suspiciously closely with the Fuchsia Foalnapper and her Earth Pony cult. I looked into the author of the comic and it's just a house name Mareville Comics uses for all their superhero stories. But whoever is really doing the writing might know something about all this. I think we should write to Mareville and see if they can tell us who the author is."

"We could do that—or we could just go ask them in person. It'd be way faster and if they don't want to talk you could throw your weight around. With the Princess I mean! You're in really good shape for a bookworm. Not that nerds are in bad shape. Not that you're a nerd—" Dash was practically hyperventilating at this point.

"It's okay Rainbow, I know what you meant. And you're absolutely right!"

"I am?"

"Yes. If we go in person, we can leave on the train around noon, get to Manehattan by evening, and visit the Mareville comics office in the morning. We can be back with all our questions answered by tomorrow! And I'm sure they won't say 'no' to our faces. Particularly when I could have them shut down for character defamation."

"But Twilightttt," whined Spike "I thought you liked being in a comic book."

"I love it. But they don't know that. And they do know who Princess Celestia's favorite student is." Twilight's grin had taken on a ferocious—and somehow cute—aspect.

"I never knew you were so sneaky Twi." The thought that Twilight had such a devious streak was intriguing. Dash tried not to sound overexcited as she answered. "Okay, I'll meet you at the train station at noon. Good luck with the guards."

She turned her back and flapped away, immediately breaking out into a smile. She'd get to spend her whole day with Twilight. And the next day too. She'd been feeling weirdly bubbly around the librarian lately and this was going to be a great chance to test the atmosphere. Maybe this crush could actually go somewhere. And after her daring rescue last night, no one could tell she wasn't a hero. Things were looking up.

When Dash got back to her cloud home, she found a basket full of muffins hanging from her mailbox with a crayon drawn portrait of her carefully tucked in the side. She couldn't help yelling out into the empty dawn sky, "Best. Day. Ever."