Plot Bunny Sale!

"He's just so... terrible!"

Luna was indulging her sister in her favorite hobby:  Complaining about Prince Blueblood while eating donuts at the local pastry shop.

Luna could see why Celestia loved coming here.  These donuts were heavenly!  And the booth they were seated in was enchanted so that other customers just saw a pair of normal ponies instead of a pair of princesses.  This coffee was superb too!  Luna didn't know how anypony managed before...

Crap, Celestia was saying something.  Quick, nod sagely!

" He's even worse than his father somehow!  I can't even begin to understand how he manages that.  I just don't now what to do Luna.  I've tried everything I can think of to get him to straighten out and fly right.  He's tarnishing the countries name worse and worse everyday.  I can't even entrust him with any royal duties anymore."

Luna continued to nod.  "Well, sister, if he's that much of a problem, why not get rid of him?"

Celestia gave her sister a glare from across the table.  "I'm not going to assassinate him Luna, no matter how much of a spoiled brat he is!"

Luna sipped her coffee, "I'm not saying you should kill him, sister.  Just, replace him.  It's not like we haven't done it before.  Remember?  I think the last time was that Krom fellow some 1400 years back."

Celestia shook her head, biting into a donut, "That was different!  He was going to drag us into a war with the dragons, we had to get him out of power.  Besides, it would never work now.  Who would I replace him with?  The nobility all keep detailed genealogy records going back generations, they'd know if they were royalty."

"Didn't you say his family has been... intimate with a number of ponies throughout the years?  Why not just claim that one of them bore his great-grandfather's child, or some such thing.  Everypony would believe it, and who knows?  It might even turn out to be true."

Celestia threw her forelimbs up in aggravation.  "Yes, fine, but who?  who would I pick to... Oh sun, it's been so long I can't even remember what his family is supposed to do?"

Luna looked thoughtful, "What about Twilight Sparkle, or one of her friends?  They would be up to the task."

"No, Twilight's family is minor nobility, so her family line is well documented.  As are the other Elements of Harmony.  There's no way I could get one of them to do the job."  Celestia slumped in defeat.

This was a problem.  Luna took a moment to think.  "Alright Celestia, what about this:  The very next pony to step into this shop.  That's who you'll get to replace Blueblood. "

Celestia stared at her sister.  "Luna, that's a terrible idea.  Literally anypony could walk in here, and you want to make them a prince or princess?  That's madness!"

Luna held up a hoof to stop Celestia from going any further, "Just ask yourself Tia, 'Would they do a worse job than Blueblood?' "

The argument was cut short as the front door jingled, signalling a customer.  The pair turned to look at the potential royal family member.  It was a white coated unicorn mare with an electric blue mane and outrageous sunglasses, grinning like a madmare.

" Donut Joe!  I hunger... for donuts!  Gimme gimme gimme!"

Joe nodded to the mare who just walked into his shop before loudly saying, "Right away miss Vinyl Scratch.  Anything else I can get you, Vinyl Scratch?" Throwing a look at the booth he knew the Princesses were in.

"...Why are you saying my whole name like that Joe?"  Vinyl asked.

"No reason at all Vinyl Scratch."  Joe handed her a box of donuts. "Are you going back to your apartment down on Mane Street Vinyl Scratch?  Where you live with Octavia Philharmonica?"

"Joe, are you okay?  Is something wrong?  Blink twice if I need to call the guard."  Vinyl asked in a quiet voice.

"Everything's fine.  Five bits."  Vinyl handed over the coins before quickly exiting the store.  Joe gave a wink to the princesses before going back into the kitchen.  Luna turned to Celestia.

"Well?"

Celestia sighed.  "Okay, you win.  She can't do worse than Blueblood."