Plot Bunny Sale!

by Patchi

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 1662

Some free story ideas for whoever wants them.

I'm not much of a writer, but I have some ideas. Here's a few unconnected one-shots for you all to take and turn into proper stories. Enjoy.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-14 22:32:27 UTC

Plan gone awry

Let's see if I can upload something without screwing it up.  Once again: feel free to use this as inspiration.

First idea: something I've never seen in a fic before.

Plans gone awry

Celestia was nervous.

Her, the sun princess, ruler of Equestria, nervous!  Her faithful student would be beside herself with disbelief.  What could worry her?

Indeed, why would she be worried?  The Summer Sun Celebration was only hours away.  The day that marked her victory over Nightmare Moon.  The day she had waited a thousand years for.  The day she had planned extensively for.  The day that would, hopefully, spell the end of her thousand years of grief.  Her thousand years of guilt.

Her thousand years of loneliness.

Celestia resisted the urge to vomit.  Nerves would not break her composure.  It had been hundreds of years since the last time she had succumb to nervousness and she didn't intend to break her streak.

What right did she have to complain about loneliness anyways?  None whatsoever.  Not when Luna had spent nine hundred years, eleven months, twenty-nine days, and- she checked the clock on the nearby wall- sixteen hours on the damn moon.  All alone.  No one at all.

Unless there were ponies on the moon.  Maybe  mean ponies.  Or monsters.  Hungry, viscous, monsters with claws and teeth and Faust knew what else.  Chasing, hounding her little sister for a millennium of terror and pain...

Celestia shook her head.  Those kind of thoughts served no purpose and soon it wouldn't matter anyway.  Twilight had been sent to Ponyville.  She would gather the Elements of Harmony.  They were drawn to one another.  They would gravitate towards Twilight as the Element of Magic.

Unless Twilight wasn't the Element of Magic.  Unless Celestia was wrong.  Unless there was some other unicorn out there, with magic as their talent, that had no idea what was going on and had no way to bring the other elements together and save the world.  Which would bring night eternal.  The end of all life.

Princess Celestia checked the seal on Nightmare Moon.  Failing right on  schedule, which meant that it didn't matter at this point.  Whatever was going to happen would happen.  A thousand years of preparation and planning came to fruition in a matter of hours.  She just had to remain calm.  She just had to trust in Twilight.

She had to get a move on, because she had spent several hours worrying.  It was time to depart for Ponyville.  She nodded to her escort as she climbed into her chariot.  Soon they were off.

Shortly...

Any moment now... there.  The seal was broken.  Nightmare Moon was free.  Celestia took a deep breath.  It was all out of her hooves now.  Nothing to do but wait for her wayward sister to show herself.  It wouldn't be long now.  Nightmare Moon would have to try and subdue her to wrest control of the moon back, Celestia had seen to that.

.....Nothing.  Was she disoriented after her release?  The geography had changed in the last thousand years.  ...But Celestia's power should be like a beacon to the other alicorn, she shouldn't have any problem finding her.  So where was she?

They were calling for her on stage to raise the sun.  Oh, dear Faust, was Luna going to attack the crowd?  Celestia walked forward and began the ceremony as she had so nine hundred ninety nine times before.  What if Nightmare Moon wasn't going to attack here?  What if she went after Canterlot while Celestia was away?  What if she went after Cadence in some jealousy driven rage?  What if Shining Armor couldn't rally the guard in time?  What if she possessed Spike?

What if, what if, what if?

The ceremony was over and the celebration was beginning in earnest.  Celestia's little ponies were cheering, laughing, and crowding around to get a look at their beloved leader.  Just like any normal day in Equestria.

Celestia wanted to scream.

Where was her little sister?

Can't Be Worse Than Blueblood

"He's just so... terrible!"

Luna was indulging her sister in her favorite hobby:  Complaining about Prince Blueblood while eating donuts at the local pastry shop.

Luna could see why Celestia loved coming here.  These donuts were heavenly!  And the booth they were seated in was enchanted so that other customers just saw a pair of normal ponies instead of a pair of princesses.  This coffee was superb too!  Luna didn't know how anypony managed before...

Crap, Celestia was saying something.  Quick, nod sagely!

" He's even worse than his father somehow!  I can't even begin to understand how he manages that.  I just don't now what to do Luna.  I've tried everything I can think of to get him to straighten out and fly right.  He's tarnishing the countries name worse and worse everyday.  I can't even entrust him with any royal duties anymore."

Luna continued to nod.  "Well, sister, if he's that much of a problem, why not get rid of him?"

Celestia gave her sister a glare from across the table.  "I'm not going to assassinate him Luna, no matter how much of a spoiled brat he is!"

Luna sipped her coffee, "I'm not saying you should kill him, sister.  Just, replace him.  It's not like we haven't done it before.  Remember?  I think the last time was that Krom fellow some 1400 years back."

Celestia shook her head, biting into a donut, "That was different!  He was going to drag us into a war with the dragons, we had to get him out of power.  Besides, it would never work now.  Who would I replace him with?  The nobility all keep detailed genealogy records going back generations, they'd know if they were royalty."

"Didn't you say his family has been... intimate with a number of ponies throughout the years?  Why not just claim that one of them bore his great-grandfather's child, or some such thing.  Everypony would believe it, and who knows?  It might even turn out to be true."

Celestia threw her forelimbs up in aggravation.  "Yes, fine, but who?  who would I pick to... Oh sun, it's been so long I can't even remember what his family is supposed to do?"

Luna looked thoughtful, "What about Twilight Sparkle, or one of her friends?  They would be up to the task."

"No, Twilight's family is minor nobility, so her family line is well documented.  As are the other Elements of Harmony.  There's no way I could get one of them to do the job."  Celestia slumped in defeat.

This was a problem.  Luna took a moment to think.  "Alright Celestia, what about this:  The very next pony to step into this shop.  That's who you'll get to replace Blueblood. "

Celestia stared at her sister.  "Luna, that's a terrible idea.  Literally anypony could walk in here, and you want to make them a prince or princess?  That's madness!"

Luna held up a hoof to stop Celestia from going any further, "Just ask yourself Tia, 'Would they do a worse job than Blueblood?' "

The argument was cut short as the front door jingled, signalling a customer.  The pair turned to look at the potential royal family member.  It was a white coated unicorn mare with an electric blue mane and outrageous sunglasses, grinning like a madmare.

" Donut Joe!  I hunger... for donuts!  Gimme gimme gimme!"

Joe nodded to the mare who just walked into his shop before loudly saying, "Right away miss Vinyl Scratch.  Anything else I can get you, Vinyl Scratch?" Throwing a look at the booth he knew the Princesses were in.

"...Why are you saying my whole name like that Joe?"  Vinyl asked.

"No reason at all Vinyl Scratch."  Joe handed her a box of donuts. "Are you going back to your apartment down on Mane Street Vinyl Scratch?  Where you live with Octavia Philharmonica?"

"Joe, are you okay?  Is something wrong?  Blink twice if I need to call the guard."  Vinyl asked in a quiet voice.

"Everything's fine.  Five bits."  Vinyl handed over the coins before quickly exiting the store.  Joe gave a wink to the princesses before going back into the kitchen.  Luna turned to Celestia.

"Well?"

Celestia sighed.  "Okay, you win.  She can't do worse than Blueblood."

Genealogy

"Why would you invent a family tree spell?"

Celestia's question caused Luna to pause her rummaging.  "I don't remember."  she answered cheerfully.

Celestia sighed as her sister continued digging through the palace archives.  When Luna learned that the royal library had several of her journals from before her banishment, she insisted Celestia accompany her to find some of her old research notes.

Luna continued,  "I created a lot of strange things towards the end.  I was losing my mind a bit more each night, so I can't even remember much of what I did.  Aha!"  She pulled a tattered book from the shelves.  "This is it!  Oh, just think of the good I can do now that I'm not insane!  Who knows what I wrote all those years ago?"

Celestia smiled at her sister's enthusiasm.  It was good to see Luna excited about things again.  Celestia peeked over her sister's shoulder at the thousand year old journal.

"...Luna, why is there a gender change spell in there?  ... Oh my.  Or several other spells like that?"

Luna blushed and thought a moment.  "Oh, yes.  I remember now.  You may not remember, but shortly before I.. left all those years ago, I tried to connect more to our subjects."

"...And?"  Celestia prompted.

"And I may have tried to create a family to keep me company.  The old fashioned way."

"Luna,"  Celestia said slowly, "Alicorns cannot get pregnant."

"Hence," Luna replied, "the gender change spell.  And the fertility spell.  And the futa spell? What is that?"

"Never mind!" Celestia shouted, her mind suddenly filled with unnerving imagery of her younger sister.  "What happened after that?"

Luna tried to recall.  "I don't know.  I vaguely remember a mare... but everything is hazy after that.  As I said, it was fairly close to the end there."

Celestia  suddenly had a terrible thought.  "Luna, could you cast that family tree spell on yourself?"

Luna turned a few pages in the book.  "Yes, here it is.  Just a moment.."  She trailed off as her horn glowed.

A large piece of parchment appeared, floating in the air in front of the two.  Names slowly started to appear, filling out a

genealogy record.  The two princesses looked on, stunned.  Name after name filled out the parchment, until at last the spell finished.  The royal sisters could only stare in shock at the last six names of Luna's descendants.

AppleJack Apple

Rainbow Dash

Fluttershy

Rarity

Pinkamina Diane Pie

Twilight Sparkle

Luna said the only thing she could say, given the circumstances.

"Huh."