The Adventure of Lorraine and Hank

by Dragonfire2lm

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 8893

a three world crossover thing.

A MLP, Dragon quest 9 and D&D crossover.

Co-written with AbsolutHysteria.

Lorraine is a Celestrian she has fought gods and monsters and frankly, has had engough of grinding the same dungeon twenty times over and doing fetch quests. So she asks Celestria to send her to another world for a new mission.

Sadly she loses her memory along the way (well most of it).

In an effort to find out where she came from before lviing as a Celestrian she teams up with a man named Hank and a pony named Trixie.

Craziness and shit hits the fan in the published of a roleplay between Dragonfire2lm and AbsolutHysteria.

Published 2013-04-07 10:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-07 22:56:17 UTC

Going on Holiday

It was a normal day for Lorraine the gladiator. She was wearing silver armour that covered her shoulders and torso over the top of a sapphire blue skivvy, the centre of the armour was raised into what apeared to be a round mirror-like circle. on her hands were thich leather guantlets with metal guards going from the back of the hand to the wrist.

She had on a pair of black slacks with a purple stripe down the sides and shoes that resembled heavy brown steel capped boots. strapped to her back was a round white sheild with a ring of gold at its centre and attached to that was a green bag and a large orange sword with a blade that resembled flames and a round sapphire imbedded in the gold hilt.

Her helmet looked heavy and covered her entire head and neck, save for her face. it had a black 'V' shape spines as a decoration on the front. Sunset orange hair could be seen poking out from under the helmet.

Her fair skin and blue eyes were a stark contrast to the heavy armour that she was wearing. She looked around the grass covered plain near her old stomping grounds, the village of Angel falls and sighed.

It had been six months since she defeated Corvus. Six months since she'd sacrificed her longevity, her friends and her home to save the world from the fallen angel. She had slyaed beasts, collected items and helped the world of the protectrate.

She was getting tired of it. She had spent the last week going through a grotto near Slurry Quay and defeating the bos, some evil wizard she didn't bother to remeber the name of over and over in order to become stronger. She was the strongest Gladitar on the planet, her skills unrivalled.

There wasn't much to challenge her anymore. Sure she loved beating up anything that dared attack her but really it was nothing new.

She decided it was time for a change. She pulled out Sterling's whistle and blew...

It was mere mintues later that she found herself in The Realm of The Almighty as the goddess Celestria stared at her in surprise after she'd asked the goddess for something.

"A vacation from the Protectrate?" The goddess asked. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, she was too embarassed to speak infront of her again.

"This world is safe from evil thanks to you my young Celestrian. You have truly earned respite from your duties in protecting the mortal realm" The goddess stated as she waved her hand, which caused a golden protal of light to appear.

"Step through this and you will find a new world and a new adventure" Celestria said.

Lorraine nodded and stepped through. She found herslef falling through a golden abyss as power and magic ran wild around her.

She landed with enough force to knock herself out cold.

What happened? where am I?

Her memory was fuzzy as she sat on the ground for a few minutes to regain her senes, something felt...off. She could remember everything about her life as a Celestrain but amung those memories were bits and pieces of knowledge that shouldn't have been there, imahes of strange horses, blue boxes and all manner of things she couldn't comprehend.

She looked around and spotted an inn. She decided it would best to go in and poosibly recruit an ally or to to find out where she ended up. She had a feeling this was going to be one intersting vacation.

Hank

She walked in and looked around and spoted an empty table and sat down, crossing her right leg over her left in an almost 'blokey' fashion while she unstrapped her sword and sheild and placed them on the chair beside her. Suddenly there was a loud crashing noise from the back, almost like a large weight being dropped. The innkeeper ran out the back, sword in hand.

Lorraine heard a large yell from the back "NOT AGAIN. FOR THE LAST TIME, THIS IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL LANDING AREA". Suddenly, the innkeeper was flung through the open door, landing on the bar with a sizable thud.

A tall, yet somewhat lean man with leather armor covered with a light black cloak and with a pair of obvious jeans on (the latest fashion from earth) calmly walked out, vaulted over the counter and sat down next to Lorraine. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he'd been to plenty of dark places throughout the realm. She notices his black and red sheath by his waist. He turned and said in a gravelly voice....

"Some place, huh?"

"Uh huh.." She replied slowly, unsure of what to make of this newcomer.

"Names Hank" he stated. "And it seems to me that you seem a bit lost. I mean, heavy armor? What are you, mrs bashing things with big metal sticks".

As he said this, closer inspection on his hands revealed his right arm being covered with bandages, and his left arm being covered in chaotic magic tattoos.

"I'm a gladiator you dumbarse.." Lorraine replied angrily. "And my name is Lorraine, I'm here on vacation"

Well that and trying to find out what the hell happended on my way here she thought.

"Vacation, eh" Hank began "So what are ya doing here in good ol' Sirgil? Seems to me that you'd prefer a better area than the Hive"

Suddenly, two partons walked into be inn. A small, equine creature with a black cloak and obvious blue hair. And a plain, ordinary ranger with a bow and arrow by his side.

"Mr Hank", the ranger said, "Seems to me as thou' we got anotha' lost thing".

"Seems to me as thou' the Brotherhood doesnt want this one going back"

Hank winked at Lorraine. "So, Mrs "Gladiator"?" "Fancy making some cash?"

"First off that's miss gladiator to you, and yeah sure why not" she replied with a shrug.

Hanks grinned which showed off his feral canines "Excellent". Of course you understand that with the BROTHERHOOD (*cough*- James), there will be a lot of problems I mean, feel like going up against some Angels tonight lass? After all" He pointed at the equine "I've seen this type before. Trust me, ya dont want to have to haul these naive sods around"

He walked up to the creature. "So, what's your name?"

"Trixie" she stated softly.

"Angels? Well I'm not sure....oh what the heck if it hits back then who am i to complain about a good fight" Loraine said then cast her eyes to Trixie. As she did so images of others like her appeared in her mind, along with a name.

"Trixie? We're working with an Equestrian?" she asked.

I've never met anything like Trixie, how the hell do i know she's an Equestrian?

"Yep" Hank stated briskly, as though trying to avoid the question. "Whelp, no time like the present"

Suddenly he walked up to Trixie, threw her over his shoulder and walked to the door. Trixies complaining, though loud, is not up to her usual standard.

Hank turned around dramatically at the door.

"So, you coming?"

Preparation

While her knowledge of Equestria was hazy at best (much like everything else she tried to recall after arriving on sirgil) she felt something was off about the pony she was soon going to work with. finding no answers in the dregs of her mind she attached her sheild to her left arm, her back on her back ans carried her sword in her right hand anf followed hank out the door.

"So Hank...what exactly will we be doing on this mission anyway?" she asked.

Hank sighed. "Today, we will be delivering her back to her home plane. As this is the city of doors, all we have to do is find the right one"

The streets outside were nothing but mud and slime. The people looked filthy and ready to callaspe and any minute. There was a market outside, with multiple shady characters of all different races selling their wares. Lorraine noticed that all the people seemed to have a shady look, as though all decency was snubbed out from life in the ghetto.

Althought still on Hanks back, Trixie looked around with interest at all the different magical items.

She sighed. "i remember when I used to have power like that"

"What happened?" Lorraine asked the pony.

She sighed "I used to have power like you have never dreamed of. But after that Necromancer dumped me out... i dont know what I could do." "Suddenly, a voice spoke to me. It told me about things i could have. It said it could help me"

Hank snorted "*pfft. You're lucky you caught up with one of my contacts. Otherwise the only thing you'd find was a big ol lot of death."

"After all, this universe is one of despair and madness. Why do you think I kept this sword, one of Muramasa's finest?" Hank drew out his sword slightly, with a black and red blade. A feeling of forboding filled the party. Hank smiled "and this is why you should never betray me. So Ms L...." He turned off into a side street, and started to draw cryptic runes into the wall. "this should take a while, why dont you run off and keep yourself out of trouble Watch out for any races with any order magic traces" Hank throws L a watch. "Just use that".

Trixie snorted and mumbled under her breath "I could do better"

Lorraine caught the watch and sat down, dumping her gear to her left and pulling a bag of herbs out of her bag.

Turning to Trixie she offered some of the herbs to the pony.

"Want some, I picked myself back at home" She asked.

Trixie sniffed at one and started to eat ravenously. She seemed happy for the time being

Suddenly, while Hank was distracted a strange feeling comes over Lorraine. She noticed a man in a white cloak watching over the whole event and the watch started to hum softly.

"Ok humming watch..that can't be good" she said as she eyed the man in the white coat and grabbed her sword just in case.

"Trixie we're being watched.."

Trixie looked up from her pile of herbs "He looks nice enough. I mean, its not like today can get any worse."

Suddenly the man stepped forward, and went through Hank as he did so. "So, Ms Lorraine, I believe me and you can come to a business deal After all, what do you owe this guy? For all you know, he could be a spy from your world So, here is the deal"

He walked around Lorraine slowly.

"You keep a VERY close eye on him, don't even hurt him, and I will let you know about all of your new memories. Dont' you want to know what happened?"

Lorraine's mind turned slightly. The truth became slightly clearer. Flashes of memory danced before her, images of a human life, of an equine exsistence and finally her life in the world of a video game as a Celestrian.

"I supose so...what's in it for you?" she asked the figure.

The man chuckled. " Oh dont worry about that" he said. "For now, just keep doing what you're doing. I'll be in contact very soon."

Suddenly, Hank turned around. The runes had slowly turned into a swirling vortex. " So, you ready to go L?"

"Don't call me L.." she muttered

Hank looked at Trixie, who was well satisfied with her herbs. He smiled. " So I guess you aren't just a gladiator."

He gestured to the vortex.

"Lets go"

Lorraine followed Hank with Trixie by her side.

"Let the weird stuff begin" she muttered as she looked at the vortex.

Author's Note

*Groan* Honestly AbsolutHysteria learn to write in third person I've had to correct ALL of your posts in this thing....

Welcome to Equestria

Lorraine stumbled through the portal, lights dancing in front of her eyes. She realised that any movements made while inside the portal had to be forward, without fail.

Suddenly, there was a large wrenching sensation, and the party found themselves outside a small pony village. There was a forrest to the east of the village, and a river between Lorraine and the village. After stumbling a few meters forward, Hank started to pull out a pair of sunglasses, and handed a pair to Lorraine.

"Put these on" Hank stated.

She complied, finding the sun a bit too bright for her liking.

"So now what?" she asked.

"Well now," Hank began "At least you wont seem like a freak"

Lorraine felt a shifting within her body, and realised that the glasses had turned her into a pony.

"Don't worry", Hank explained "All your weapons will be returned to you whenever those glasses come off, and all your armour too. Me... I dont have to worry about that disguise, as I currently have an.... understanding with the ponies in this village".

"However," Hank continued, as he placed a hand above his face, which also had the same polymorphic effect. "I guess it wouldnt hurt... just this once".

"So" hank said, putting his leg in a mock bow "Shall will be off?"

Lorraine blinked at the sudden shift from havning hands to now sporting hooves, her fur was white and while her hair had conformed to become a mane it still looked the same, it reached her shoulders and was slightly scruffy looking.. she noticed she had a tail of the same shade as her mane. she was surprised to find a mark on her flank that looked like a stylised golden flame. She felt an odd weight on her head and realised she had a hron.

"This is...different.." she muttered.

The red furred pony with gold and green hair laughed at the sight. "Whelp" he began "That's a bit different indeed... Anyhoo, we've got around three days until that portal can be used again, so lets at least deliver the package (he ponitned at trixie) Back to her home. But first, lets get something to eat. Arcana makes me antsy" Hanksaid and made his way into town, followed by Trixie and Lorraine.

Lorraine noticed that the bandages on Hanks right foreleg were still securely tight, with the arcana tattoos on the left foreleg slightly lighter than before.

As the trio meandered through town Lorraine spotted a building that looked like a gingerbread house, she found it rather amusing and walked towards it. It turned out to be a bakery, the register mared by a blue earth pony mare with a pink mane.

"Welcome to sugarcube corner dearies, I'm Mrs Cake what can I get for you today?" the mare behind the register asked.

Lorraine had a look at the menu and made a descision.

"I'll have a chocolate milkshake, a banana and honey muffin and a slice of chocolate cake"

Hank pulled out a large pipe and started puffing away in a corner wihile he sat down. "Goddamit, this place is honestly filled with little children". He said and reached into his carrybag and started reading from a black ancient text, muttering as he did so.

"Um hank you know you're paying for everything right?" Lorraine said as she took a seat at nearby table.

"Sure thing" Hank stated. He threw at bag of coins at the counter while not ever looking up from his book, which narrowly missed Mrs Cakes hoof.

"Sorry about that" He stated calmly "Guess my throwing arm... err leg isnt as good as it should be".

"Oh that's alright dear, did you want anything?" Mrs cake asked.

"Nope" Hank replied gruffly. "And she (he pointed at Trixie) won't be having anything. She just ate"

Hank pulled out a booknote out of the book, frowned and throws it to the floor. It disappeared into black smoke as it hits the floor.

"Alright then.." the blue mare replied nervously and went to fix up lorraine's order.

Pinkie

Lorraine looked at Hank with a confused look on her face and then dismissed whatever thought she had.

"So Trixie do you know anypony here?".

"Well" she began. " I only know a few ponies around here, although most of them not really appreciate my magnificence ( she flicked her hair). Even though they attempted to invite me to parties to say sorry, I dont think....."

"Did somepony say party!?" an upbeat, slightly high pitched voice spoke up as a pink mare with a dark pink mane and tail that resembled cotton candy popped up out of nowhere.

"AH what the--?" Lorraine yelled in fright as the pink pony startled her.

"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie!" the pony introduced herself. "Are you new in town because I know everypony in ponyville and since i haven't seen you before I figured you must be new and then somepony mentioned parties so I went and said-"

"I get it" Lorraine said flatly.

Hank groaned audiably, and raised his book higher. Nothing could be seen of his face, except a tinge of yellow hair above the top. A large puff of smoke arose from the top of the book

Trixie's face slowly became slightly happier (however forced was unknown). "pinkie" she said "its a pleasure to see you. How's your... partying going?"

"Great Trix!" Pinkie answered and then turned her attention to hank.

"Hay there!" she said with glee. "Welcome to ponyville!"

Hank slowly sunk lower into his seat, attempting to ignore Pinkie.

"."What's the matter? can't you speak? Oh is this a game?" Pinkie rambled on. "Do you like parties? 'Cause i was gonna throw you and Lorraine a party-"

"Wait how do you know my name?" Lorraine asked.

"Fourth wall" Pinkie replied simply.

"...What?"

The pony ignored her and went back to Hank and contined to barage him with questions comments and mindless rambles.

Hanks sighed "The forth wall eh... I thought that was only available for demons. Oh well.."

"I'll guess i'll have to reseach that futher", Hanksaid and poked PInkie in her cutie mark. "I that we'll have to go".

Hank reached over and whispered something in her ear.

PInkie giggled "We sealed her away last time silly!"

Hank frowned. "And iIthought that would scare you". He continued to read his book. Pinkie continued to bound around the place.

"Sealed who away?" Lorraine asked.

Pinkie began with a large intake of breath

"Well "Hank cut in. "Needless to say, its a long complicated story filled with adventure, drama and large piles of boring bits, but needless to say, lets just say that there are more than 1 personalities in that thick skull of hers" and Hank poked Pinkie in the side of the head. "i mean, you could hear Pinkie tell it, but really, would you want to? Its already the best selling book in Sirgil".

Hank threw a book at Lorraine, which read "The Murderer Inside me, Authored By Amethyst Brilliant".

"Right....." she replied and stowed the book away for later.

"Anyway" Hanksaid and clapped his hooves together. "All I need are a few supplies, and we'll be off to return Trixie to her home! After all, I do get a bonus if the jobs done well"

Trixie starts nervously "You don't think that I will pay you for this?"

"Of course not" hank laughed "It wouldn't be worth the time if that were the case"

"Anyway, Ms L, lets leave this place and see what we can do" Hank walked outside briskely.

"Food first then leave" Lorraine grunted as her oder was finally presented to her.

Author's Note

Pinkie Pie gets her own chapter, enjoy.

the "fourth wall" explanation is a running gag in a few of my stories.

Half an Hour Later

"Ok now where to?" she asked they exited the shop.

"Well now, its really up to you, Trixie" Hank stated.

"Well, "Trixie began. "The one place I've always wanted to live is in Manehatten, to the North east".

"Well then," Hank said "Looks like we'll have to take a train But first we need to get to said train station. Any idea, Ms L?"

Lorraine rolled her eyes, walked up to a random pony and got directions to the train station.

"Meh I had something to eat and there doesn't appear to much of anything that interests me, lets go to the train station" she said.

After approx. 15 minutes walking along the cobbled streets (with Pinkie bouncing along on the side), the crew eventually made it to the train station. The station was mostly deserted, as it was during the middle of the day and thus many ponies made their trip later, to escape the burning hot sun.

"Whelp", Hank said. "I'm not paying for anything that could be walked on to for free", and snuck in the back door of the train.

The train was mostly empty, save for one pony in the corner. Her back was turned so all that could be seen was a purple and pink mane. The group settled down within the carriage, making themselves comfortable.

Lorraine found a seat near the trains only occupant and pulled out a motebook, some ink and a quil from her bag (that was the one thing the reamined visible as a pony). the objects were surrounded in the gold glow of her magic as she set about to writing in a blank page in the book.

Suddenly, the purple pony turned around. Her face lit up when she saw somebody else writing. She wandered over, face slightly bowed.

"Er, excuse me" She began. "What exactly are you writing? I hope its about magic, because I'm always looking for other ways to increase my magical talents. I mean, I could just read books that are already written, but that doesn't make up for seeing a master at work" She seemed to get more excited thinking about it.

Lorraine looked up and was slightly surprised at this mare's enthusiasm.

"its my adventure log, a record of qhat I've been doing. but as for magic..' she began, placing the note book away and bringing out a heavy leather bound tome from her bag.

"I study the lost of draconian magic..well actualy I kinda re-invented it due to the fact that any and all dragons that ever used it are long gone" she explained sheepshly.

"Ohhhhhhh" Twilighht said. "long forgotten dragon magic? I had no idea that this type of power existed!." "Could you please show me some?"

"On a train?" she asked. unsure of this unicorns intentions. "I mean I'm flattered and all but I don't even know who you are...".

"Oh!" she said "My name is Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia." "Here's my library card" She shows Lorraine a card, confirming her name and rank.

"So, can I see this magic, can I,can I, can I, can I?" She bounces from side to side "Pleasseeeee"?

"Uh Hank is this ok with you?" Lorraine asked turning to the group leader.

Hank, who was sitting down close to the back of the train looked up "Hey, its your magic. Go nuts. " He looked out the window, although he did continue to watch Lorraine closely.

Dragon magic

"Well ok, everypony might want to take notes or something..."

Lorraine's horn glowed with a golden aura and a wisp of gold fire appeared.

"Now I won't do anything fancy, since we are on public transprt and all, but magical dragon flame can be used to warp objects to 'safe zone' set up by the caster, like cave or a vault, and it can used to summon those things back to the caster" she explained and the flame materialised into a large sapphire.

"Dragon uses the imagination and pure willpower to control it, normal flames from a dragon look like normal flames, magical or enchanted dragonfire often takes on the colour of the user, my dragon fire, for example is gold when magic is infused win it.With enough focus one can direct their will into the raw magic that makes up enchanted dragonfire to transform objects, or even themselves" she continued and with a rushof more gold flame the sapphire became a sapphire blue rose.

"Um any questions?" she asked nervously.

"Just one" Twilight said. "Evil or good magic?"

Hank gave a small shudder and clasped his right foreleg.

"Technically its both, good and bad dragons used to use it, but now I'm the only one that can..so good I guess" she replied.

Twilight gave a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I mean, evil magic is what is destroys the bonds of friendship."

Twilight turned to Hank, who was still staring out the window. "So, whats your special talent?"

Hank jumped slightly and quickly said "Why dont you introduce yourself Mrs L to Twilight? After all, it would be a lot better than boring old me using my magic? By the way, my name is Hank".

"That's Miss to you Hank, and my name is Lorraine, nice to meet you Twilight" she replied.

"A pleasure to meet you, Lorraine" Twilight bowed slightly. She turned to Trixie "and how are you feeling Trixie?"

Trixie snorts "about normal. its not like we have any hatred towards one another, but still.... I need some time in order to see where I stand with you. I've changed twilight, and I need to see whether this relationship can still last."

Hank looked over "completely natural, Trixie. Other planes will do that to you."

Suddenly, a large banging noise started to eminate from the back door. Hank frowned. "That's strange" he began "There should be nobody behind there...."

Lorraine stowed her things away, walked over to the door and against her better judgement, opened it.

Suddenly the man from before was there, standing in mid air. His face contorted into what be considered to be a smile, and Lorraine was flung backwards, landing around half way down the carriage.

Hank suddenly burst up, and took a defensive position in front of the ponies and Lorraine, pulling her up while doing so.

The two heroes suddenly changed backed into their humanoid forms, complete with all items they had collected. "looks like we have a fight on our hands, Lorraine." Hank began. "Hope that dragon magic of yours was worth it."

healing and explanations

"Ew.." Lorraine said and wrinkled her nose but soon got over it and walked over to hank with some more herbs in hand.

"Here eat these. They'll heal your injuries" she said and offered the medicinal herbs to him.

Hank proceeded to eat the herbs, however all they did was stop the bleeding from worsening. He grimaced.

"Where do these Herbs come from by any chance?" he asked.

"I made them using alchemy why?"

Hank smiled slightly "Yes, I bet you did however where did the ingredients come from?".

"From some other types of herbs that heal you less, the medicinal herb and strong medicinal herb. these are the most powerful of healing items outside of spellcraft..." Lorraine explained.

Hank frowned and replied "I guess what I'm trying to say is, did you get these from your plane of existence? Or did you get them in Sirgil, where I met you?".

"Oh from my world....they should still recover 90 health units though...normally I take several doses to fully heal myself..." she said a bit sheepishly.

"Aha, so that's why it works less on me". Hank explained. "My body comes from a completely different plane from yours, therefore, less effective".

"Also, could you check on Trixie and Twilight for me? I would do it myself, but as you can see..." He explained and gestured to a large amount of blood pooled on the floor.

"Right um...ok, if you need help just shout or something.."

Lorraine walked into the next carriage to find the two unicorns.

Lorraine walked briskly throughout the carraiges, until she made it to the end carraige, closest to the engine.

There she found Trixie and Twilight, with approx. 20 other ponies of various sizes and species. None of them were harmed, with all of them either looking confused or scared.

Twilight hopped off a seat and said timidly "Are you ok?"

"Hank is hurt, I'm fine, we need a healer and possibly a clean up crew as soon as we get to manehatten" she explained.

"Ok" Twilight said. "Errr, quick question, but what are you two exactly? Sorry, but I really don't know anymore, considering the different types of magic that were used back there".

And cue facepalm.

"Twilight I just said someone was hurt and you-ugh nevermind, Hank is, at least i think a human, a bipedial mammal evolved from primates. I am...I dunno things are a little weird for me right now. I was a human, then a pony, then a longma and now a demi-goddess I think..." she explained with a slight uncertainty

"And what of Hank?" The purple unicron asked.

As she said this, a unicorn nurse with medical instruments trotted to the back of the train. Lorraine quickly caught up with the nurse and informed her of the situation. after the nurse walked to where Hank was and closed the doors Lorraine heard a yell, however the nurse started to bandage the wounds. From beyond the closed doors Lorraine could hear large amounts of complaining from Hank, however apart from this everything seemed fine.

A pegasus approached Lorraine and asked "Is there anything else we can do to help our heroes?" .

"Uh.." she replied. "I dunno, hey Trixie is there anything we really need before we reach manehatten?".

Trxie looked up and said "not really.... However, you might want to do that disguise thing you did earlier. I think that Twilight might be able to do that for you. Not as well as me of course, but you know...."

"Remeber when I said dragom magic can be used to alter appearance? before we get off the train I can just transform myself" Lorraine explained.

She then smiled at Trixie. "I think if I can learn the basics of unicorn magic, I should be able to translate my abilities to work with a pony, wouldn't that be cool i could teach you stuff!"

More conversation

Trixie frowned and started to say something, however Twilight bounded in between the two of. "Really, becuase I'd LOVE to do that with you, oh my celestia it would be so fun imagine all the stuff we could do it would be so much fun and we could learn so much and...." Twilght spoke so quickly that Lorraine could barely understand what she was saying, however she got the general message.

Lorraine gave the purple unicron a flat look.

"I asked Trixie, not you, no offense Twilight but you're the princess's personel student, Trixie here isn't I think she could use some help with magic...if you wanna learn magic Twilight Sparkle you don't just go and butt in like you did there. You need to show respect for both the teacher and others who might be willing to learn and not just assume everything is going to handed to you on a silver platter" she said seriously and watched the magic user wilt with every word.

Oh" twilight said. She walked back, and sat down. She seemed ok, however it seemed as though she'd take some time to the get over it.

Suddenly, yelling was heard from the other carriage. Hank walked out into the carriage, bumping his head on the low doorframe. As his armour and undershirt were off, Lorraine and the others could see that his chest area was covered with red fur, strangely similar to that of a foxes. Deleted scene *Snickers* Furry"One of his eyes was quite obviously red and green and his wounds were bandaged, however it was obvious that they had not healed yet.

"So," Hank began " we allright in here?"

The nurse came into the room afterwards, looking worried. She turned to Lorraine. "You diddnt tell me I'd be working with someone this difficult."

"It could be worse" she replied to the nurse and then turned her attention to hank.

"We're all good" she said. "None of the ponies were hurt, I gave Twilight a metaphorical kick up the arse and i know what I'm doing once we reach Manehatten".

Suddenly, Twilight looked at Hanks chest and stared.

"Thats not right... That's not right at all"

Hank sighed. "And what is that we're doing, Lorraine?"

"I'll be finding out a way to convert my abilities to conform with pony magic..and Twilight what are you talking about?" she said to the purple unicorn.

Hank made a subtle slice across the throat gesture, and Twilight stopped. "Never mind" she said nervously "i'll be over here in the corner if you need me. Apart from that, I'll just be.. quiet" She sat over in a corner.

"Ok...." Lorraine said. "So who wants snacks?"

Author's Note

AbsolutHysteria has made jokes about me being a furry in the past (yes I read fics with anthro ponies, but only if the storyline is too my liking) so i added that little deleted scene thing (as thatwas going to be my original reply in the thread but decided against it).

Manehatten, blue boxes and fourth wall breaking ponies

The rest of trip went fine, with most of the trains passengers munching on food that Lorraine passed around. As the train came into the station, both Hank and Lorraine placed on their pony disguises and left the train to mingle within the busy crowd that came to stare at the wrecked back half of the train. Trixie and Twilight followed.

"Its an excellent idea to learn pony magic" Hank said to Lorraine as they walked past the ticket booths. "But first, I might need a place to sleep. Any ideas where to go?".

"Hm unless one of us has the bits for a hotel room, i think I might know somewhere we can stay..if my limited knowledge of this world is correct that is, just keep a look out for a blue plice box" she explained as they wandered the streets.

Hank snorted "What, that old geezer? You think that old legend might actually help us? Fat chance. You'd better most of the talking if you see him. I'd probably have a bit of a problem".

"Wait..You've met him?"

not personally, no. But he was an old legend, back in my old military unit. They said that he could solve EVERY problem *snorts*. Yeah right. Good luck. Any idea how we could find him, God forbid?" Hank replied

"Don't you mean Celestia..." Trixie began.

"Oh shut up" Hank muttered underneath his breath.

"Last time I checked Celestia wasn't a guy..no the pony where talking about is..he's...just brilliant and horrifying all in one...' she explained wistfully but then smiled sheepishly.

"He's called The Doctor, just The Doctor and he lives in a time machine that bigger on the inside".

"Unfortunately, I dont have any powers that could help us here to find time experts" Hank said sheepishly. "so it doesnt matter what we say, it doesn't matter if we cant find this so called 'Doctor'".

"We'll run into him eventually, but for now who wants to go sight seeing?" Lorraine asked.

Hank shrugged. "I've got nothing Better to do".

As they travelled and took in the sights the group heard mechanical whirring and rounded a coner to find a blue police book slowly dissapearing.

"And we missed him...great" Lorraine grumbled.

"So you know him too huh?" a voice said from behind them.

They turned to find a tall light pink unicorn mare with drak blue eyes and a red mane that was parted evenly on both sides, was flat with no volume to it and framed her face. she was wearing a long black dress with lace around the hem and cuffs.

"My name's Pinkmena, you three new in town?" the mare asked.

Hank stared at this new character, eyes closely examining her.

"Do we know you? Or do you know us?" he asked.

"Spoilers" she replied with a smirk.

Hank sighed. "ah, chaos spawn. Breaking the 4th wall like glass"

Hank gestured down the street. "So, anyway, how has your day been?"

"Oh fine-depending on the fanifc you read of course- " she replied caually. "So you lot need a place to stay or what?"

Hank's eyed fluttered between Lorraine and Pinkmena. "Hmmmmm. Depends if Lorraine is fine with it. After all, i can deal with you if you become a problem.", a tone of menace creeping into his voice.

Ponies around the party shuddered, without knowing why.

"Somepony is a sterotype aren't they?" Pinkamena quipped.

"Ok look everypony, we do need a place to stay and as long there's no ponycide to deal with it'll be fine" Lorraine said.

"ponycide?" Hank spluttered. "Seriously, does everything in this world have to have the word pony or a pony pun in it?"

He sighed. "Fine, so long as you have some bare floor, Ill be fine. Also, could you help us find out where she has to go?" Hank pointed at Trixie.

"I have a couple of spare apartments in this city and you seriously didn't think to ask the poor mare what she wants to do here in Manehaten?" Pinkamena asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hank also raised an eyebrow "What makes you think that I care? All I care about right now is money, surviving and keeping my cards close to my chest"

"Ok.." Lorraine and Pinkamena said at the same time.

"Well follow me, I'll take you to my place" Pinkamena declared and began walking down the street.

Lorraine then turned her attention to Trixie.

"So Trixie, what do you wanna do while we're here?" she asked as Pinkamena led the group to her apratent complex

Trixie looked around her, eyes glazed with amazement. "Maybe you could take me to my relatives house? Its only a couple of blocks from here, and I think that would be a great place to stop... HEY!"

Hank had inserted a syringe into her neck and then whipped it back into a pocket inside his cloak. "Sorry (not looking very sorry as he said so), I needed proof that I actually delivered you back to your 'place'"

"...I'm not even going to ask" Lorraine muttered. "Hey Pinks?"

"Yeah don't worry we'll head to Trixie's place first" the pink mare replied and changed directions.

The crew slowly walked through the street comfortably, with Hank trailing behind, looking at the bustling city life. It was a market day, so the city was a bustling center of activity. Ponies from all around Equestria had gathered, in order to celebrate what made up their society.

Suddenly, a small yellow filly with reddish hair tugged at Lorraines side. She looked tired, as thoughshe had been working all day.

"Excuse me, missus, fancy buying an apple?"

"Eh sure" she said with a shrug and grabbed a small bag of bits off of Pinkmena and paid the filly.

Author's Note

Next chapter, applejack..and I have no freaking clue why the apple family are in Manehatten that was AbsolutHysteria's idea.

Real food!

Suddenly. Lorraine heard a flurry of movement, and Hank suddenly skidded past, almost running into the large apple market store that was nearby.

"Thanks God" He exclaimed. "Finally, some food I can relate too. None of this hay crap."

He turned to Applebloom. "can i have please have.... 20 apple pies please, and 3 ciders to go please?"

"20!" said an orange pony behind the shop counter "What an appetite" . She turned to the rest of the party. "And what are we all doing today?" She nodded at Twilight.

"Do you guys sell apple crumble?" Lorraine asked.

"Sure thing partner" She said "How many will you want today, honey?".

"Hm I think maybe three, that should last a few days, oh and five apple pies if that;s ok with Pinkamena here" Lorraine stated.

"Hey I'm rich, I don't care what you buy" Pinkamena replied with a shrug.

Applejack nodded. "Sure thing". She ran to the back of the store, making a large racket of pots and pans.

Twlight sighed "She's always like this. Someday i think she's going to have a heart condition."

Hank turned to Pinkmena "Can you pay for me too, Miss moneybags?"

"Fine, only because you're an MC in this plotline.." Pinkamena replied.

Hank gritted his teeth. "God, even I hate this 4th wall crap. Why did I ever dabble in that magic, I have no idea."

Applejack cleared her throat. "Here ya go.' She handed Hank a positive mountain of goods, all wrapped in a white cloth. She handed Lorraine a small pile of apple crumble.

"You mind if I take this one off your hooves?" Applejack said, pointing at Twilight. "I know she can be a bit of trouble sometimes, what with her fancy Canterlot education and all".

"Honestly I don't mind her hanging with us" Lorraine said.

"If she goes crazy again she's your problem" Pinkmamena commented.

Hank snorted. "Going crazy? That's your definition of going crazy? Please." He takes a large swig of Cider.

"Besides, what's the harm"

Applejack shrugs. "Fair 'nough. If ya wanna come by again, just drop on in"

Twilight looked at Lorraine, with new found respect in her eyes, and Trixie snorted.

"Anyway," Hank began "Can we find out where Trixie's family lives? I need that cash to refuel my ship. Magic fuel doesn't come cheap ya know."

"Just tell trixie to lead the way she's not a dumb animal you know" Lorraine said.

Hank sighed. "I guess not."

"So Trixie, where is your family at anyway?"

Trixie pointed "Around three minutes walk thataway." At the end of the street was a building that looked like all the others, except for a large sign out front

T AND G'S MAGICAL CHARMS AND SPELLS

Hank stared at the sign. "At least your name is first."

Trixie's Family

"Neat!" Lorraine said and walked inside to browse the merchandise, with Pinkamena rolling her eyes and trailing behind.

When Lorraine walked in, an orange pony in a dark blue hood suddenly pointed a hoof and yelled "HALLLTTT. THE MAGICS WITHIN THIS BUILDING ARE TOO DANGEROUS TO BEHOLD WITHOUT PROPER TREATMENT!"

He started to draw a circle around the party with chalk, muttering as he did so.

The shop was musty, and obviously hadn't been cleaned for a while. Random Nicknacks covered the walls and ceiling.

"Ok...weirder things have happened..." Lorraine muttered.

The pony starts to chant a mysterious chant, which makes the lights turn off and the chalk start glowing. A large sound of screams can be heard around the room.

Hank looks around and whispers to Lorraine "Its funny, because all of this is bullshit"

Lorraine and Trixie, however seemed quite impressed.

"It GLOWS" they said together.

Pinkamena just rolled her eyes.

The orange pony contiuned to mutter, with smoke entering in from the sides.

Suddenly, a large pinging noise was heard, and a large smoke machine fell down into the room, almost crushing Pinkamena.

"Ok...can we cut the crap now?" the pink mare deadpanned while Lorraine looked shocked and disappointed that it was all fake.

The orange pony took off his cloak and sighed.

"Sorry, but we had to seem somewhat magical. Names Sam the ......" He stopped in mid sentence.

"Scam" Hank interjected.

Sam looked angrily at the group, but somewhat brightened when he saw Trixie. "TRIXIE!" he cried, and proceeded to hug the pony tightly. "See I told you that actual magic was bad for you!".

"Actual magic? have you even seen 'Actual magic'" Pinkamnea said, slightly offenedby the remark.

Sam frowned "Of course, dear lady. Its just that comapared to your magic, this magic was BEYOND COMPREHENSION!" He posed dramatically.

A few awkward seconds later, Hank asked "So where is this 'actual magic'?".

Sam pointed behind him. A rune, similar to the transportation rune that Hank had used to get to Equestria was drawn on the wall. "We found that rune in a book somewhere, and thought to give it a try"

Hank sighed and muttered "Shadow magics, get 'em while their hot..."

Pinkamena groaned and face hoofed.

"I don't get it.." Lorraine said

Hank sighed. "Never mind, old saying around the old army corp."

He looked closer at the rune. "This may take a few minutes, talk amongst yourselves, Children."

Sam looked at Lorraine and said "You're not from around here, are you?"

"Was it that obvious?" she asked.

Sam stared. "yes, well..... some ponies would not be able to realise that, considering the grade of disguise you are wearing. Besides, I would never had thought that Trixie would hang around outsiders" He shrugged.

Trixie blushed "Well, now you know. I guess old prejudices against outsiders never change, even with my family"

".......eh could be worse" Lorraine replied.

"Yeah" Hank said from the corner. "Could be like Sirgil, where any unlicenced peoples are" He said and listed a large variety of tortures and executions

Appro. 2 minutes later,he stopped himself. "Actually, never mind, I have work to do" He continues to study the rune, muttering words of power.

"So anyway, where exactly are you from?" Sam asked. His eyes glint with interest as he sees the amount of produce that Lorraine has, as well as the amount of gold Pinkamena has.

Where they're from

"Well I'm from another universe entirely" Lorraine said.

"And telling you where I'm from would require a long and boring explanation of equine religion" Pinkamnea stated.

Sam laughed "Well, give me the brief version then" He sets himself up with a chair and a box of popcorn.

"Really? that usually works in detering others from asking, well long story short, the very first pony sacrificed her horn, wngs and hooves to form, uniconrs, pegasi and earth ponies respectively and when a pony dies they gain the attributes of the other two races when they ascend to the astral plains, when I ascended I was given the task of watching over most of reality alongside a small group of other ponies that represent the forces of time, magic, spirit and i represent heart by the way" the pink mare replied.

Sam frowned. "fair enough" He turned to Lorraine. "And what about you, by any chance. Any HEROIC BACKSTORY!" He flung his arms up, flinging the box of popcorn all over Trixie and Twilight.

"Hey!" Twilight squealed, which Sam ignored.

"Well I was once a celestrian, a humaniod with wings and halo and a long lifespan that watches over mortal knd, like the rest of brethern. we collected crystalised gratitiude and offered it to the sacred tree that is our god. one day a disgraced member of our kind rose up and caused havoc in the land and it was my duty to stop him, in all honesty I was the only that could since everyone else stronger than me was either held captive by an evil empire of too injured to do anything. so I travelled the mortal world after losing my wings and halo after I fell from my home, became an all-powerful gladiator, slew dragons and beat the crap out the guy trying to destroy the world and now I'm here because I'm finally bored of running around dungeons and killing the same boss over and over" she explained.

Sam's eyes sparkled with interest. "That's some backstory you've got there"

He turned to Hank "And what of your back story, young colt?"

Hank frowned "Nothing on interest, or nothing you need to concern yourselves about. Also, this rune is definitely what I would call top quality. Something that only a demi-god can use, even better than my skills as an arcanist"

He turned to Trixie. "Seems to me that we are walking into something bigger than first anticipated"

Hank turned to Lorraine "You want to contiune with me? I mean, I could pay you, and you could get a job out of this."

"hm nah no offense but I'd rather find out why I know this place, I mean equestria just seems familiar you know..."

"Hey I'll jion you hank, I literally have nothing better to do" Pinkamena offered. "oh and Lorraine takes this bag of bits, it should get you to canterlot, maybe the princesses can help you"

"Thanks, well see ya" Lorraine said and left to go on her own journey.

"I'd better go with her, she could get lost" Twilight stated and hurried after her.

Hank cursed, and threw a needle into Lorraine's leg as she left the room. As it was so small , she didn't notice.

Hank muttered "and she didn't even give any warning. Women these days..." He stood up and handed a contract to Pinkemena. "Sign here please..."

First Fight scene of the story

Lorraine reached into her bag and pulled out a different sword, it was oulined in gold, the inside of the hilt and blade was sky blue and it resembled a simple broadsword.

"So what do you want?" she asked the man as she lifted up her sheild.

The man smiled and points at Hank "Him. And Blue Pony"

Hank stared and muttered instructions.

"Firstly, we should get the ponies futher down the train" Hank made a dismissive gesture to the door, which Trixie went through.

"Second," Hank unsheathed his sword, which was black with red engravings down the sword. It started giving off black fire.

"And third" The bandages came off his right arm, which revealed a green with black stripes scaly arm, similar to a lizard.

"And now, we fight. Unless you have any objections, Lorraine" He looked at Lorraine briefly.

White wings started to come out of the man's shoulders, which reached to either side of the carriage. He pulled out a rapier, which starts to glow a light blue. Feathers start to grow out of his neck, which give him an look of an angel.

"Not really" she replied, sword at the ready.

Suddenly, there was a flurry of movement oustide the train, heading towards the front of the train.

"Crap" Hank swore "looks like as though somebody should take care of the merchandise".

He turned to Lorraine, "So, what should we do? take care of this guy first, or do you think we should defend the profits as well?".

"Why don't we use our assests" she said and turned to the two unicrons.

"Twilight Sparkle, stop gaping at us and go secure the safety of everyone on borard, get Trixie to help you" she commanded and hefted up her sheild.

"Hank, while they're busy with that we can deal with this guy alright?".

Twilight, fearfully looked up "Ok...kkk then". She replied and ran down the corrider.

Hank sighs "I guess it's better to take care of this guy first".

The rapier started to glow with a blue aura as the man slowly moved cautiously forward, rapier extended in front.

"Ladies first" Hank said, stepping around to place Lorraine in front. "Lets see what you can do."

"Wuss" she grumbled, closed her eyes, leapt forward and swung at her opponent with all her might, the sword glowing with a golden light as it struck.The man swung his sword to parry, however when parrying the incredible amount of force forced him backwards.

Hank thursted his sword at the man, causing a large shadowy shape to slam into his chest, where it made a large cracking noise.

To continue the onslaught Lorraine pointed her blade skyward and strange golden lightning shot down from above and became attached to the blade. the lightning increased the swords length as she spun around to slam it into the enemy.

Suddenly, the force of the attack caused the back of the train to explode out, leaving the man floating in midair, over the exposed axle of the train.

He smiled a bloody smile, and slashed at Hank, slashing a massive hole in his left arm.

Hank grimaced with the pain, and proceeded to slash downwards, causing a large dark shockwave to travel down the carraige, striking with deadly force. The man attempted to block using his rapier, however it shatters due to the force.

The man fell to the ground in front of the duo, still breathing but bloodied.

"Uh should we kill him?" Lorraine asked Hank. "I mean he's pretty much harmless now right?".

The man smiled, and proceeded to lunge at Hank with deadly procesion, punching a hole through his right lung.

Hank's eyes started to glow a faint green and red, and he says "I told you I would never return"

Hank slashed down, sword glowing with unholy fire, incinerating the top half of the Angel, while the bottom half falls over.

Hank falls down into one of the remaining chairs around the carriage clutching at his wounds.

Author's Note

Ok near the end of this chapter i just got sick of editing every single one of AbsolutHysteria's rp posts...so sorry if the tense slips a bit, I've basically been editing this thing since chpater 2 for an hour or so...ugh..