Let's Play?

by Kiryu123

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 7213

The Achievement Hunter group has to head to BronyCon, due to the requests of Michael, Ray, and their fanbase. After the plane they were flying in crashes, they find themselves in Equestria itself. Sound familiar?

RoosterTeeth is scheduled to head to BronyCon, not only from the requests of Michael and Ray, but their fanbase as well. However, due to a nasty rodent infestation at the RT headquarters, only the members of Achievement Hunter are able to attend.
But what happens when their plane crashes and they are presumed dead? They head to Equestria, of course! What'd you think was going to happen? I DUNNO

Edited by: Alex Nuage (Twilight Watches A Porno)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-08 08:06:32 UTC

Asinine Airways (EDITED)

Geoff woke up at the sound of someone speaking on the phone.  A British "someone" talking on the phone.

Gavin.  He thought. Talking on the goddamn phone at 4 in the morning.

Geoff tried to doze off again, but to no avail.  He turned over to see his wife Griffin, who slept soundly on her half of the bed.  She must've gotten used to Gavin's bullshit by now.  Not being able to stand it anymore, he rose from the bed and slowly walked towards Gavin's room.  A bright aura shined underneath the door, confirming his suspicion of the rude brit's late night activity.  Once he entered, he saw the English man himself, sitting on his bed, chatting away on his phone.  Gavin took immediate notice.

"Yeah, I'll have to call later."  Gavin hung up the phone.  "We have some news."

"Why the fuck are you up at 4 a.m.?"  Geoff snapped.

"That's what I told Michael when he called me."  Gavin replied.

"Wait, so Michael called you at 4 in the morning?  Why?" Geoff asked.

"He said we're booked at some convention called BronyCon, tomorrow."

Geoff did a double take.  "Wait.....what?...."

"Yep.  Apparently you guys are going to BronyCon tomorrow."  Caleb said.

"But why?"  Geoff asked.

"Because, not only did Michael and Ray want to go-"

I'm going to sock them in the fucking balls. Geoff cursed in his mind.

"-But the fans wanted you guys to go as well."  Caleb finished.

"Really?..... Around all those freaks wearing costumes for three days straight?  Come on!  They watch a show for LITTLE GIRLS."  Geoff complained.

"Yeah, really.  Or, if you would rather stay here, we could use all the help we can get with the rodent infestation."  Caleb answered.

Geoff gave a curious look.  "Wait...what rodent infestation?"

Caleb went over to a random cabinet, and opened it. Instantly, a dozen rats flopped out and began scurrying into various holes in the wall.

"So...it's your choice?  Help me, Brandon, Ryan, Kdin, and the others with the rats.  Or go with Gavin, Michael, Ray, and Jack to the stupid freak convention.  Your choice." Caleb said.

Geoff stopped and thought for a moment.

"Well?"  Caleb questioned.

"...I'm thinking."

"Welcome passengers to Flight 145," the stewardess announced. "Please keep your seat-belts buckled at all times during takeoff. If you need anything-"

"I can't believe I got dragged into this."  Geoff said as he leaned on his arm rest.

Gavin, who was sitting net to Geoff, turned toward him.  "It can't be THAT bad, right?   Michael, what's the show about?"

"It's about a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle who learns about friendship in a small town called Ponyville."  Michael explained.

Geoff wanted to smash his head into a fucking wall.

"Look, Michael, Ray, no offense.  But, that sounds like the worst fucking show in the world."  Jack deadpanned.

"I hear that a lot."  Ray replied.

"Trust me, it's way more dark and sad than you'll ever imagine."  Michael said.

Geoff, Gavin, and Jack instantaneously broke into laughter.  Michael flipped them the bird and sat back into his seat.  This was going to be a LONG plane trip.

"Twilight!  I have an urgent message from Princess Celestia!"  Spike shouted as he ran towards the newly coronated Alicorn.

Twilight levitated the scroll from his grasp.  "The Princess?   What is this about?"  She quickly tore the seal and began reading:

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

We've been getting reports of strange anomalies all over Equestria.  There are rumors of strange objects coming out of these 'portals.'  We have not yet confirmed this to be true.  While these anomalies do not pose a threat at the moment, we cannot leave this situation unattended.

Gather the element bearers and report to me in the Canterlot Royal Castle as soon as possible. There, I will personally brief you and the elements on your mission.  Make haste, my star pupil.

Signed, Princess Celestia

Twilight tucked away the scroll.  "Spike, take a letter."

Spike complied and took out a quill and a pen:

Dear Princess Celestia,

I've received your message.  I'll be there with my friends as soon as possible.

Signed, Twilight Sparkle

"Did you get it?"  Twilight asked.

Spike checked his grammar before belching, sending the scroll away in a green blaze.  He nodded.

"Good. Come with me. We have to gather the girls," she said, motioning Spike to get on her back.

Spike latched on to her as she spread her wings and took off into the sky.

Geoff stared at nothing; an activity he became quite good at for the past three hours.  Oddly enough, that empty space on the bottom of his plane tray table seemed more interesting than a weekend adventure into the depths of brony culture could ever be.  From time to time, a plane attendant would walk by and ask if he wanted any peanuts.  Geoff would reject them like always.  Being way too bored, Geoff decided to start some conversation.  He turned to Gavin, who was busy watching videos from his SlowMoGuys channel.

"You watch your own videos?"  Geoff asked.

"What's wrong with doing that?"  Gavin inquisitioned.

"Isn't that a little narcissistic?"

"Says you."  Gavin replied with a huff.

Seeing that Gavin most likely wanted to be left alone, Geoff turned over to Ray, who was looking at a porno magazine.  Though, instead of naked women on the cover, there were pictures of beautiful red roses.  Geoff didn't even bother with him.  He awkwardly turned around in his seat and looked at the row behind him.  Michael was snoring loudly.

Shit. he thought.  Well, might as well get some sleep.

Geoff straightened himself out on the small airplane seat.  Once he was comfortable, he arched his head to the side.  He closed his eyes and tried to take his mind off of the rough weekend ahead of him.

That's when a loud explosion rang throughout the cabin.

Everyone who was asleep or not paying attention was suddenly thrown up into the air.  All of the luggage above came crashing down from the upper storage area, showering them in heavy suitcases, clothing, and other carry on.

"What the hell is going on?!"  Gavin yelled.  As if his question had been answered, the flight attendant came out the door.

"Don't worry everyone!" she shouted over the loud cabin.  "Everything will be fine!  We're just passing through some mild turbulence."

Out of nowhere, the plane pitched to one side, sending the flight attendant and multiple passengers crashing towards the windows.  Geoff went flying onto Gavin, who was now squished between his boss and a pane of glass.  Geoff could clearly see outside the window.

He wish he couldn't.

Geoff could see the ground getting closer and closer.  They were falling midair!  Suddenly, the plane tilted to the opposite side, sending Gavin tumbling onto Geoff.   Overhead oxygen masks fell down due to the pressure as several shrieks penetrated the air.  The plane was now twisting around helplessly in freefall.  It finally tilted back into the center, yet the violent thrashing of the cabin still remained.

Suddenly, another loud explosion tortured Geoff's already beating eardrums.

He quickly looked up only to be blinded by a bright light.  If it weren't for the adrenaline, Geoff would have screamed at what he saw.

The roof of the plane had been ripped off.  A collage of twisted metal bordered where the separation took place.

Suddenly, time seemed to have slowed down to Geoff.  He felt as if he and the other people were in slow-mo.  He turned over to Gavin.  He saw the poor man clinging onto his seat in fear, eyes shut tight, tears streaming down his face.  It was the most painful thing Geoff had ever seen in his entire life, next to his wife being sick in New Orleans.  The plane shook once more, but this time it was more violent than before.

The cockpit was suddenly ripped from the plane, sending the nose spiraling to the ground.  Not only was no one piloting the plane, but now, Geoff had a clear view of what was coming.

A hill.

Out of nowhere, Gavin held onto Geoff, burying his face into Geoff's shoulders.  Michael and Ray held each other's arms.  Jack hugged himself.  They all watched in horror as the hill got closer and closer, bringing the inevitable battle with death. Gavin was now shaking so hard that Geoff could distinguish it from the violent vibrations of the plane.  If he wasn't in this current position, he would think Gavin was the world's biggest crybaby.  But now, he couldn't blame him.

Within a few seconds, the hill was barely a hundred feet away.  Geoff, Gavin, Michael, Ray, and Jack all closed their eyes at the same time.  They impacted with the hill.

All Geoff heard was a loud BANG, and then, nothing.

Aftermath

"Yeah. Get the cheese you little piece of shit." Caleb whispered.

In front of him was one of the many rats that infested the building. It's curiosity was getting the best of it, as it inched it's way closer to the mouse trap Caleb had set up. It got closer and closer to the trap. Now, Caleb's heart was beating 100 miles to the minimum.

I'll finally get rid of these little fuckers once and for all. he said in his thoughts, a devious smile across his face.

That's when Gus barged in.

"CALEB!" he yelled.

Instantly, the rat jumped onto Caleb's face and began attacking him. Caleb ran around in circles, with a large rat plastered on his face. After a few moments of struggling, he yanked the rat off and threw it to the ground. The rodent hissed at him, before scurrying into one of the millions of holes in the building.

"What the fuck?! Why'd you do that? I almo-" Caleb got cut off by Gus.

"The plane Geoff and them were on crashed." he said coldly.

Caleb was speechless. No, this couldn't be. The planes they flew on always guaranteed safety! How could this-

"Please tell me your joking..." Caleb muttered.

"Wish I was." Gus whispered back.

The two looked at each other for a moment. Out of nowhere, they went running into the main office.

"What the hell you guys doi-" Kara was cut off by the two.

"Geoff and them got into a plane crash!" they both yelled.

Instantly, they grabbed her and pulled her along before she could ask questions.

"We'll explain it in the car." Gus said, as they exited the building and began boarding his car.

The three got into the car, and within a few seconds, they were already on the road.

"Geoff, Gavin, Michael, Ray, and Jack got in a plane crash? Where did you hear that?" Kara asked from the backseat.

"I saw it on the news. It was the same plane that they said they would board." Gus replied.

"Are they okay?" Caleb asked.

"I don't know. Kara," he got her attention. "Call the rest of the employees to meet us in Kentucky."

"Okay. Wait, Kentucky?" she asked.

"Yeah. The convention is in New York apparently." Gus said.

"Okay." She began calling the employees of RoosterTeeth, telling them each to meet them in Kentucky.

"Okay, there." Kara said. "What do we do now?"

"We get to the accident." Gus said flatly.

"After that?" Caleb asked.

".....I don't know."

"Armagedies! Armagedies!" a cloaked figure yelled.

"What is it, my loyal subject?" Armagedies replied.

"The portals!...."

"What about them?"

"We've had a breach!"

"What do you mean, breach?"

"Living organisms have made their way through one of them."

Armagedies did a double take. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He let out a grunt. "Grab the guards. We have a portal to visit." he said as he got up from his throne.

A group of six multi-colored ponies walked down the hallways of the Canterlot Royal Castle.

"What was this stupid meeting for?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I have to practice to be the most awesome pony in all of Equestria. Not that I already am...."

"The princess specifically asked me to round you guys up and meet her here." Twilight replied.

"Why are we here in the first place?" Applejack asked.

"Apparently, there have been strange vortexes appearing all over Equestria. That's all she told me in the letter." the allicorn replied.

"And you're about to learn more." a voice said.

The element-bearers turned around to see the one and only Princess Celestia standing there, Luna at her side.

"As you've heard Twilight Sparkle, there have been strange things going on lately. The vortexes, for one, and the fact that mysterious objects are coming out of them. For now, they hold no threat to Ponyville or Equestria itself. But we want to be careful. So, I'm sending you and your friends to the largest vortex spotted, located near the hills of Manehatten."

"But, Manehatten is at least a couple of days away." Twilight said. "How are you going to get us there in such short notice?"

"Easy." Celestia replied. "I'll send you via teleportation."

The six ponies nodded in approval.

"Your mission is to see what is causing these portals and find a way to stop them." Celestia said. "And while you're at it, study the mysterious objects coming out of them."

"Yes, Princess!" the six said in unison.

"Alright, waste no time." Celestia said strictly.

Instantly, her horn began to glow. Within seconds, the six ponies teleported with a small POOF.

"Tia?" Luna asked, finally talking after five minutes.

"Yes, Lulu?" Celestia replied.

"Why didn't you mention the Satano Infanoj?" she asked.

"Because. While it may seem that their rituals may be causing these portals, we're not too sure. And we don't want to blame the wrong ponies." Celestia said.

"And besides," Celestia continued. "The element-bearers are not ready for the type of evil they possess....."

"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" a royal guard shouted.

"What is it?" she asked.

"News from Manehatten!"

"Well, what is it?"

"They said that five living organisms just emerged from the vortex!"

Three cars pulled into a small grassy field. They were lucky enough to even find a way to park, however. Because the smoke that filled the area made things impossible to see. Gus, Caleb, and Kara exited out of one car. Burnie, Lindsay, Monty, and Barbara out of second. And finally; Ryan, Matt, Miles, and Kerry out the last. They all looked at the damage.

"Holy shit." they all muttered.

The front half of the plane was missing, the roof was nonexistent, and there was fire all around it. The hill it crashed into had nearly split in half. No one could've of survived it. That fact almost made them start sobbing immediately.

"Excuse me." a voice said.

They all turned to see a firefighter walking towards them.

"Yes?" Gus replied.

"You fellows from RoosterTeeth?" he asked.

"Yeah....why?" Caleb asked.

"We have some news on Geoff, Gavin, Michael, Ray, and Jack."

Instantly, they all went scurrying over to him. And began showering the poor guy with questions.

"What is it?

"Are they alright?"

"Please tell me they're okay!"

"If they're dead, I won't get my paycheck!"

"QUIET!" the firefighter yelled. "Unfortunately, we don't have good news."

If it wasn't for the sound of the burning plane, fire engines, and police sirens, everyone in the area would've heard the sounds of their hearts being ripped into small shreds.

"S-so they're dead?...." Kara began sobbing.

"Right now, we can't confirm it?" the firefighter replied.

Instantly, all their eyebrows raised.

"Why?" Gus asked.

"Because," the firefighter began. "We can't seem to locate their bodies."

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Idiots

Inside the royal castle, two regal sisters were quietly drinking tea. They were enjoying the nice, soothing sound of nature-

"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" a royal guard yelled, running into the room.

Princess Celestia put down her cup of tea. If it wasn't for the current situation, she would've broken it over his thick skull.

"What is it, my loyal subject?" Celestia replied.

"A group of armed creatures have been spotted near the area of the element bearers!" he said.

Satano Infanoj.... the princess said in her thoughts.

"Gather an army of royal guards and comb the area." Celestia said strictly. "We can't have the Elements of Harmony or the organisms that came out of the portal get injured."

"Yes, your highness." he bowed, before running out of the room.

"What is it, Tia?" Luna asked.

"They're coming."

"Who's coming?" Luna froze, before realizing what her sister meant. "You don't mean-"

"Yes. That's exactly what I mean." Celestia gulped.

Geoff.....

Geoff.....

We're coming.....

We're coming for you.....

We're coming for you, Geoff.....

You can't run.....

You can't hide.....

Because when we find you.....

YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.

Geoff woke up with a scream. Breathing heavily, he studied his surroundings. Hills. Tons of them. But there seemed to be something different about them. It took a few moments, but he finally understood.

They were 2 dimensional. Geoff was now extremely confused.

"What the fu-"  He got cut off by Gavin sitting up and screaming.

"HOLY HELL!" Gavin yelled, startled by Geoff.

"AH SHIT!"  Geoff screamed at the same time.

The two went crawling back in fear, only to stop when they realized what had happened.

"Where the fuck are we?" Gavin asked, looking at the area around them.

"Hell if I know." Geoff replied.

The two heard a grunting noise, and both turned around in unison. There, they saw Michael slowly getting up from the ground.

"What...the....fuck....happened?" he moaned. "And why are Ray and Jack laying on the ground?"

Geoff noticed the two men laying on their faces. He shrugged. "I think the real question is; Where the fuck are we?"

Michael took a second to look around. "What the hell is wrong with this place?"

"Yeah, why is everything look," Gavin picked up a nearby rock. His eyes went wide. "...animated?"

"Gav has a good point." Michael said, picking up another rock. "This is so fucking weird."

"Oh, god." they heard Ray mutter.

Ray got up and cracked his back. He immediately stopped. "Oh no! Please tell me I have it!" he began searching his clothing. After no avail, he began searching the area.

"What are you looking for?" Gavin asked.

"My copy of Hustler: Rose Edition!" Ray kept on searching, before finally giving up. "GODDAMNIT! That was my only magazine!"

"There's roses over there." Gavin pointed.

As if Händel Messiah's Hallelujah Chorus had just begun playing, Ray noticed a whole field of luscious, red roses.

"FUCK YEAH!" he yelled out, leaping into the red flowers.

Michael continued to observe the scenery.

Why does all this look....familiar? he thought to himself.

"Hey Ray." Michael called.

"Yeah?" Ray replied, laying on his back due to his failed attempt to make a rose angel.

"Come over here." Michael said.

Ray got up and walked towards Michael. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Is it just me or does this place look familiar?" Michael asked.

Ray studied the environment for a few seconds. "...Yeah, it does, actually...."

"Heh. You'd know what be funny?" Michael asked.

"What?" Ray replied.

"Imagine if we were in fucking Equestria or something." Michael chuckled.

"Yeah," Ray chuckled. "We wish."

Suddenly, the ground barely ten feet away from the group suddenly combusted, sending dirt, grass, rocks, etc. flying everywhere. Ray and Michael fell to the ground in fear.

"DUCK!" Geoff yelled, pulling Gavin down onto the ground with him.

Instantly, a strange object flew over their heads and into the ground five feet away. That section blew up as well, causing the four men to flinch. After a few moments, however, the explosions stopped. The guys slowly got up from the ground, except Jack, who was still asleep.

"What the fuck was that?" Michael asked.

"I don't know." Geoff replied.

"....A-are there more of them?" Gavin asked.

"How are we supposed to know that, you fucking idiot?" Michael said.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Ray shouted.

"Thank you, Ray." Geoff replied. "Okay, let's calm down for a few seconds, and then we'll begin thinking about where the fuck we are."

After a few seconds of nothing but breathing, they began to speak once more.

"Okay." Geoff began. "Anyone have any idea where we are?"

"And why everything looks all....cartoony?" Gavin asked.

"And what were those things?" Michael said.

"Let's just calm down and.....Gavin?" Geoff said.

Gavin stared at Geoff's forehead. Michael and Ray tagged along as well. After a few seconds, this became irritatingly annoying to Geoff.

"What the fuck is so interesting about my forehead?!" Geoff growled, getting irate.

"T-there's a laser on your noggin." Gavin said.

"What the fuck do you mean, "Laser on my....." Geoff stopped, looking at the rocks above. Gavin, Michael, and Ray all looked up, and they instantly froze in fear.

"What do you mean, can't find the bodies?" Gus asked.

"We've scanned the entire area, and we've found no trace of your friends." the firefighter replied.

"So, they could've crawled out of the wreckage?" Kara asked.

"It's a possibility." the firefighter said.

As if an angel had come down from heaven, their hearts shifted back into place, knowing that their friends may be still alive. In an instant, however, it was as if a dark angel came down from the fiery depths of hell and ripped their hearts apart with the devil's pitchfork.  Caleb's phone began ringing. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. He stared at it in disbelief.

Griffin was calling.

News and Updates

Unexpected Awakening

As if luck had heard her, it seemed as if Celestia was finally able to enjoy her fine cup of tea. She savored its taste, letting the warm liquid slowly drizzle down her throat like a beautiful waterfall-

"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" a royal guard called out.

She got scared so much that she nearly spit the burning hot liquid in his face. Either way, it wouldn't of been an accident.

"What is it, my subject?" she sighed.

"We have received a letter from Princess Twilight Sparkle!" he exclaimed.

This caught the princess' attention.

"Hand it to me." she said.

The guard handed her the paper. "Here you go, your highness." he said, bowing to the ground.

"Carry along." she said.

"Yes, your highness." he said before running off.

From the looks of it, it was probably the same guard from barely an hour ago. Ignoring that possible fact, she opened the piece of paper and began reading:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Spike isn't currently with us, so excuse the fact that it's on a piece of paper. Man, I should really learn a spell to give me fingers. And besides, the extra appendages could prove more useful than just writing notes-

-ANYWAYS...... me and the Elements have recovered the strange creatures from the portals. One has a broken leg, but the others seem fine.

They are an interesting bunch, to say the least. They are very primate-like, with the same appendages, facial and body structures. Two of them have hair growing around their mouths, two of them seem to have lost their facial hair (one of them probably has an infection in their nose), and one has strange hair, with no facial hair whatsoever.

We found them under attack by creatures similar to themselves, except holding a strange type of weapon. Their artilery seemed to shoot mini pellets of metal and steel. And they have been proven to be very effective. As I said before, the one with the swollen nose got hit in the leg by one of these, and it seemed to have broken right through the shin bone, the hardest part of the leg. We are trying our best to keep the subject alive. But, time can only tell....

We have brought the subjects to the library, for further studying and medical help. If you can, we need to show up as soon as possible. There are some questions that need to be answered.

-Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle

Celestia stared at the paper for a few moments, before calling out for Luna.

"Luna!" she called out.

"What is it, my royal sister?" Luna asked, coming in from the other room.

"I need to visit Twilight and her friends." she said. "Keep an eye on the castle while I'm gone."

"Wait," Luna asked. "Why do you need to visit them? Does it have to do with the portals?"

"Yes, it does." Celestia replied, before taking off into the sky.

We see you....

We're walking towards you.

We're speed walking towards you.

Now, we're jogging.

Now sprinting.

RUNNING.

We're catching up to you.

We see you trying to run. You can't escape!

Ah. We caught you.

Jack awoke with a loud scream, waking up Geoff and Gavin.

"What the fuck?!" Jack freaked out. "What's going on? Where am I?!"

"Jack, calm dow-" Geoff got cut off by the freaked out Jack.

"No, you calm down!" Jack hissed. "Where the fuck are we!"

"Well, we-" Geoff paused. "Wait.....where are we?"

The lads then noticed that they were on a couch. In a library. Before they could freak out again, they heard scurrying down the stairs.

"Are you guys alright?! I heard screaming!" Twilight said, looking at them.

"Well, look who's awake." Rainbow Dash said.

The guys just stared at the six multi-colored horses in front of them.

"Are they alright?" Applejack said. "They're lookin' at us really wei-"

"AAAAAAH!" the boys screamed in unison, crawling off the couch.

"It's alright! We're not going to hurt you." Twilight tried to say, coming closer.

Screaming, Gavin picked up a pillow from the couch and used it as a shield.

"AAAH! TALKING HORSE! TALKING HORSE!" Jack screamed.

All the screaming woke up Michael and Ray.

"What the fuck are you pussies screaming about now-" Michael said, before inadvertently looking at the ponies. His eyes went wide and his mouth went agape.

".....R-ray....." was all he managed to say.

"What?...." Ray yawned.

Without speaking, Michael pulled him up next to him.

"What the fuck, man? Why are you-" Ray got cut off by the sight before him.

The two just stared at the ponies, before passing out once again.

"I've got this." Twilight said, before her horn began glowing. Within seconds, a beam of magic shot out at the screaming guys. Almost instantly, they shut up and stared into nothing.

"Cool...." Michael and Ray both muttered in unison.

"What in the hay' was that spell?" Applejack asked.

"It's a spell used to help ponies calm down in any situation. It stimulates the brain cells and causes the organism to relieve stress." the Alicorn replied.

"Cool!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"W-what the bloody hell just happened?" Gavin asked, regaining conscience. Instantly, he flinched in pain. "AAH!"

Gavin fell backwards, grabbing his leg. "What the hell happened to my leg?!"

"It got hit by a projectile, and we covered it up for you." Fluttershy said.

"Wait, who the hell are you?" Geoff asked.

Twilight cleared her throat. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. This is Applejack,"

"Howdy." Applejack said.

"-And this is Rainbow Dash."

"Being cool is my number one rule!" she said, flying up into the air.

"....Anyways, this is Fluttershy-"

"Um....um.....Hi....." she muttered.

"And Pinkie Pie."

"HI! HOW YOU DOING?" she asked. "I'M DOING PRETTY FINE IS YOU ASK ME. WAIT, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ASK OTHER PONIES IF THEY'RE DOING FINE? EVERYPONY SHOULD BE DOING FINE! OOH OHH! THAT REMINDS ME! YOU SEE, ONCE THERE WAS THIS NEW PONY THAT CAME TO TOWN. HE WAS RED WITH A DARK MANE. ANYWAYS, I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A LITTLE WELCOME PRESENT AND I SCREWED THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA HIM!"

Everypony just stared at her.

"Heh." the pink mare said. "Sorry."

".....And this is Rarity." Twilight finished up.

"Ugh. Your clothing is simply hideous. I will make some better ones at once." Rarity said.

"Um, excuse me, Twilight Sparkle?" Jack asked.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Where the hell are we?"

"You are in a town called Ponyville." she said.

"In which country?" Gavin asked.

"What do you mean, 'which country?'" she asked. "There is only one country."

"Which is?" Geoff asked.

"Equestria, of course!" she teased. "How do not remember the name of the country you live in!"

What. The. Fuck. Geoff cursed in his mind.

"Armagedies! We have a problem!" a cloaked figure yelled.

"What is it now?" Armagedies replied. "Does it have to do with the strange life forms?"

"That's the problem. We couldn't find them."

"What do you mean?"

"We combed the area for any signs, but all we found were these strange pieces of metal." the figure handed Armagedies a bullet.

"What does this mean?" Armagedies asked.

"This means someone else got to them before we could."

An Unwelcome Welcome

Michael....

Michael....

Wake up....

Wake up....

I SAID WAKE UP!!!!

"AAAAAAH SHIT!" Michael screamed as he awoke.

"Finally he's up." Jack said. "We've been trying to wake you up for five minutes."

Perspiring, Michael looked at the room they were in.

"Where the hell are we?" he asked.

"You're kinda not going to believe this, but...." Geoff began.

"But what?" Michael asked.

".....We're in a unicorn's tree house slash library....home." Geoff finished.

"And its name is Twilight Sparkle, I think." Jack added.

Instantly, the memories of Michael seeing the cartoon ponies return. Michael suddenly got up.

"Where the hell are they?!" he frantically asked.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Geoff calmed Michael down. "Jack."

"Yeah?" Jack replied.

"Wake up Ray." he ordered.

"Whatever." Jack said, walking over to Ray. "Hey Ray, get up."

Jack clumsily poked at Ray's forehead, before brutally slapping him across the face. As planned, this awoke Ray.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ray shouted, annoyed from being suddenly awoken.

Ray hurled towards the laughing Jack, bringing the bearded man to the ground.

"This is fucking hilarious." Geoff giggled.

"Ray!" Michael yelled, pulling the Puerto Rican off Jack. "You won't believe me when I say this, but-"

"But what?" Ray asked.

"We're in Ponyville...." Michael said.

Instantly, Ray burst out laughing.

"How dumb do you think I am?!" Ray laughed, falling to the ground.

"I'm not joking!" Michael protested. "Ask the other guys!"

"Yeah," Ray wiped a tear from his eye. "How much did you pay them to believe you?"

"I didn't pay them jack shit!" Michael argued.

"It's true, Ray." Geoff said. "Either that, or Gavin drugged us in our sleep."

"By the way, where is Gavin?" Ray asked.

As if on cue, a loud scream was heard from upstairs. It belonged to the most high pitched English man to walk on the Earth.

"I think we found him." Michael said. "And the proof you'll need."

"Just hold on," Twilight Sparkle said. "It'll be alright."

"ALRIGHT MY BLOODY ARSE YOU TALKING HORSE!" Gavin slurred through his teeth.

Twilight stood above Gavin. The purple unicorn was busy using her magic to try the remove the bullet from the British mans leg. And as they could tell, it wasn't exactly the most painless thing in the world.

"Man, the strange object went in deep into the muscular tissues of the calf." Twilight said. "Alright, I just need to remove just one last thing...."

Twilight began to use her magic to move the bullet around, trying to wiggle it free. As expected, this caused a reaction from Gavin.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" he screamed bloody murder. "STOP IT PLEASE! I BEG YOU!"

"Almost out....." Twilight said, clenching her teeth.

The more the bullet moved, the more louder Gavin's scream got. Luckily for the both of them, the bullet was beginning to slide out.

"Only a little bit more...." Twilight whispered.

"MY LEG FEELS LIKE IT'S GETTING RIPPED IN HALF!!!!" Gavin screamed. "GODDAMN!"

With one final pull of her magic, the bullet came flying out.

"Got it!" Twilight cheered.

Gavin's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he passed out. That's when Twilight could hear a group of men walking up her staircase.

"You've got to believe me, Ray!" Michael argued.

"Yeah fucking right." Ray said, as he opened the door. "I'll believe it when I see it-......"

Ray noticed Twilight, standing over the unconscious body of his best friend. Ray fell back, ready to pass out. Luckily, Michael caught him before he could do so.

"Told you." Michael said.

"Holy shit!" Geoff yelled, running over to Gavin. "What the hell did you do to him?!"

"Don't worry about him." Twilight said. "He just passed out from the pain."

"The pain of what?" Jack asked.

"Pulling 'this'," Twilight used her magic to levitate the blood-covered bullet in the air. "-Out of his calf."

Michael's mind suddenly got filled with the image of Gavin jumping in front of him. The sight of the bullet making contact with the poor man's leg. The blood being sprayed all over his face and clothing. Instantly, he shook his head, trying to get rid of the horrid memories.

"When do you expect he will regain conciseness?" Michael asked.

"In about a couple of hours or so." Twilight replied. "...Hopefully."

"What do you mean, hopefully?" Geoff asked.

"Well you see," Twilight said. "When the metal object entered his leg, it went right into the fibula and got lodged into there. Due to the amount of blood loss from the wound, it won't be surprising if he slips into a coma."

"SO HE COULD DIE?!" they all yelled in unison.

"I honestly don't know." Twilight replied.

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll be right back." Twilight said, exiting the room.

When she left, all four of them turned towards Gavin, who was sound asleep.

"He could slip into a coma.....and....die...." Michael whispered.

"Let's just calm down okay!" Geoff said. "She said there was a chance of him slipping into a coma. The unicorn-"

"It's Twilight Sparkle!" Ray yelled.

"SHUT UP!" Geoff yelled. "Anyways....Twilight Sparkle said it could happen, but chances are it wouldn't."

"So he might make it?" Michael asked.

"Possibly." Geoff replied.

"Huh." Michael said, beginning to think to himself.

His thoughts were interrupted when Twilight returned, but with another guest.

"Guys, I want you all to meet Princess Celestia!" she introduced the princess.

Ray and Michael's mouths went agape.

"So," Celestia began. "Welcome to Equestria!"

Attacked

The four flinched at the sounds of guns reloading. As soon as the bullets were in, the shooters took aim.

"FUCK!" Geoff yelled as the four landed on the ground.

Immediately, bullets began firing at them. But, since the shooters had the aiming of Storm Troopers, the bullets hit everything BUT their target.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!" Ray yelled.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Geoff replied.

"FUCK THIS!" Michael suddenly stood up. "I'M FUCKING OUT OF HERE!" He began running off, the dirt behind him exploding from the bullets.

"MICHAEL!" All three yelled at the same time.

"I'M COMING!" Gavin yelled, as he took off from the ground.

"GAVIN, NO!" Geoff yelled, but to no avail.

As Michael was running, one of the gunmen aimed towards his foot, and shot. The bullet missed, but caused the ground underneath Michael to explode, making him fall to the ground in pain. The shooter reloaded before beginning to aim at the glasses-wearing figure. In a last attempt to escape, Michael began crawling backwards, but only made it a few feet back before collapsing from exhaustion.

The gunman fired the bullet.

"MICHAEL!!!" Gavin yelled as he jumped in front of his friend.

The sickening sound of a crunch, a yell of pain, and a squirt of blood all over his face were the only things Michael saw before Gavin collapsed on the ground in front of him.

"How far is this thing?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I'm getting bored!"

"According to the map," Twilight said, levitating a map in front of her. "We're almost there. Just a few minutes ahead."

"Hey," Applejack said. "Do ya'll hear somethin'?"

The six stopped and listened. In the distance, they could hear strange, loud, flickering sounds. They sounded awfully familiar.

"What is that?" Twilight asked.

"Whatever it is, it sounds scary." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Maybe it's a party going on!" Pinkie Pie said.

"If it is, then we're surely missing it." Rarity said.

Suddenly, Pinkie's eyes went wide. "OH MY GOSH! THAT MEANS WE'RE MISSING IT! COME ON YOU GUYS, WE HAVE TO GET THER-"

"Hold yer' horses." Applejack said, pulling Pinkie back. "Should we check it out, Twi'?......Twi?"

Twilight stood still, inspecting the strange sounds closer.

Why do they sound so familiar? she asked in her thoughts. Heh. They sound like-

Her eyes went wide.

Canons.....

Twilight suddenly went darting off.

"Twilight! Where you going?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Follow her!" Applejack yelled.

The five ponies went after the purple unicorn.

Geoff watched in horror as he witnessed Gavin's leg squirt blood like a hose.

"GAVIN!" he and Ray yelled as the British boy landed on the ground.

After viewing such a horrific sight, the two passed out.

"What's the matter Twilight?" Rarity yelled as she tried to keep foot.

"Please don't be, please don't be!" Twilight yelled.

"Please don't be what?" Applejack yelled.

Twilight came to a sudden halt on the edge of a hill. She looked beyond, and her eyes went wide in shock.

"What was that fer'-" Applejack stopped, and looked at the sight before them. The other four came to a sudden stop as well, and looked upon the canyon below.

Weird-looking creatures were firing strange weapons upon other weird-looking creatures, who were on the ground in fear. Instinctively, Twilight went to help.

"Twi, wait!" Applejack yelled as Twilight went running towards the fight. "Follow her!"

The five other ponies went running as well.

Twilight shot a beam of magic at the gunmen, sending them flying backwards. Once taking a look at their attackers, they dropped their weapons and ran off.

Michael couldn't believe what was going on. He and his friends were being shot at, Gavin collapsed in front of him, and worst of all, he had blood all over his face. How could this get any worse?

Suddenly, he heard no more bullets. In confusion he turned to his left, where he saw something he couldn't believe.

Six multi-colored ponies. Strangely familiar six multi-colored ponies.

No, it can't be. he said in his thoughts. He kept on looking at the colored equines running towards him. That cannot be Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and-

"You okay, partner?" Applejack said as she ran up to him.

Oh my fucking god.

Michael passed out.

"Umm......" Applejack said, not knowing what to do.

She suddenly heard the sound of faint sobbing, as she turned towards Gavin. He had his knee up to his chest, clenching it tightly as tears streamed down his face. Applejack could see the blood that completely covered his hands.

"TWILIGHT!" the farmer yelled in horror.

Twilight came running towards her, and noticed Gavin. She put a hoof on his shoulder. "Shh. Don't worry. We're here to protect you."

Gavin suddenly froze at the voice, and opened his eyes. He stared at Twilight for a few seconds.

"Bloody heck." he murmured before fainting

"Celestia damn it." she cursed under her breath.  "Applejack, you and the others help the remainders. I'll take care of these two."

"Gotcha." Applejack said, before running off to aid the others.

Using her magic, Twilight opened her saddle and pulled out a medical bandage. She wrapped it around Gavin's leg wound, and levitated him and Michael into the air. Applejack carried Ray on her back, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash carried Geoff and Jack. Rarity, on the other hand, used her magic to carry their belongings.

"These creatures have such atrocious fashion choices." she complained.

"SHUT UP!" the other five yelled, as they walked back to Ponyville.

"Shit, man!" Caleb yelled. "Griffin's calling! Should I answer it?!"

"No!" Gus yelled. "How are we going to explain all this! They can't find out yet!"

"But this is Griffin and Millie we're talking about here! They're going to find out eventually! I'm going to answer it."

"Don't you fucking da-"

Caleb clicked Accept. "Hello?" he said, in his most nonchalant voice.

"Caleb? Where's Geoff and them?" Griffin asked, on the other line.

"Oh, they just arrived in New York." he said.

"Weird." she said. "Usually, Geoff would call me once he reached-"

"Oh, I forgot!" Caleb faked his surprise. "Geoff called me earlier saying that his phone was dying, so I needed to remind you. Kind of forgot. Sorry."

"He charged it this morni-" Griffin got cut off by Caleb.

"Temple Run 2 wastes a lot of battery on a phone!" he said.

"......Okay.....He brought his charger, right?" she asked.

"Um.....sure....he did!" Caleb began sweating. "He said that once he got a hotel room, he would charge his phone."

"Oh, okay." Griffin said.

Caleb turned towards the other employees, and let out a sigh.

"Mommy?" he heard Millie ask on the other side. "Did you find daddy?"

"Yeah, sweetheart." he heard Griffin reply. "Daddy's phone just died and he charging it."

"Okay. Tell him I love him!" Millie said before presumably walking off.

Everybody's hearts nearly shattered at the seams.

"Sorry about that." Griffin said. "Okay, have a good day."

"Okay. Bye!" Caleb said before hanging up.

He looked at his fellow employees, before turning to Gus. The man gave Caleb a stare of complete hatred.

"You're going to hell, you know that right?" Gus said flatly, before walking off.

Unexpected Awakening

News and Updates

OH MY GOD.

I've never made a story this close to being popular. All I want to say is: I love you. No really, I love you. I want to rip your clothing off and fuck the shit outta-

All jokes aside, I want to thank all of you for making my story this popular. If it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't even continue this story. That reminds me.....

You all came here for the news, so....here it is:

*No, I won't update this story every 2 days or so. I'm currently in college, and you all know how much of a drag that place is. And note that I barely have anytime in my life for nothing, so be lucky I managed to write 1,000 words in 10 days. I'll try to update every week or so, but don't get on me because I haven't updated. Trust me, this story will never die!

*While I know A LOT of you don't give a shit about my other stories, I feel the need to address them. While I am focused on this particular story right now, that doesn't mean I'm quitting on my others as well. I'm currently halfway through the next chapter of Where Are You?: The Sequel, and The Third Time. It will be a matter of time, however, when I'm able to finish them. Ponygeist, however, will be updated probably not for a few months. Why? Because right now, I have over 4 stories on hold or not finished, and I'm no miracle worker. I can only work on one at a time. So, just hang in there, and I promise some updates will be coming.

Well, that's about it. I've already started the next chapter to this story, and it should be up in a week or so. Also,

100 LIKES!!!!!

Yep, this is a world record for me. I never thought I would see the day that one of my stories got a 3 digit rating. Thank you all so much! I can't even describe how much I love you guys. You are the ones that encourage me to keep writing on. Whenever I hit a block, you guys are there to break it for me. Thank you all so much!

-Kiryu123