Applejack Kicks the Shit out of Diamond Tiara

by Zalekai

Rating: mature
Tags: Applejack, Gore, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Scootaloo, Random, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon
Length: 3904

Applejack kicks the SHIT out of Diamond Tiara... Like... Damn...

When Applejack witnesses her little sister being bullied by the town bitch, she invites Diamond Tiara to put her money where her mouth is... In a street fight at Sweet Apple Acres.

Follows the same universe of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash Kill Things With Weapons

Published 2013-04-08 05:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-08 05:00:02 UTC

A Badass Pony Does Bad Ass Things to a Less-Bad Ass Pony's Face

The sun shined brightly against the green, summer grass of Ponyville. The shops had just opened to sell their assorted goods to the town's citizens. Along with the opening of shops, came the opening of ponies' mouths' as they began chatting among each other about current events. Such as; The harvest day parade, a few new fillies just born yesterday, and a massive homicide down at the Baltimare Docks. All was well in the happy and colorful town of Ponyville, especially for the town's hardest-working mare, and element of honesty, Applejack.

The blonde-maned country pony opened her eyes with a loud yawn and a stretch, her bed sheets snuggled tightly around her waist, providing a warm, comfy ball of lovey-dovey-ness around the farmpony. Good thing Applejack wasn't for all that fru-fru girly bullshit, and tossed the sheets to the side as she came down from her stretch. The wood floor of her bedroom creaked as her hooves met it's warm surface, along with a quick crack of her neck to get the bones ready for the day.

It was her Sunday, and she was determined to give her little sister Apple Bloom a wonderful time after all of the filly's help with the recent harvest. With a smile, Applejack received her prized-position from the table beside her tattered bed; a dusty, brown stetson that she wore daily. Keeping her bright and happy smile, she walked out of her room and down the hallway to her beloved sister's door.

"Apple Bloom? You up yet?" she asked softly, in an extremely attractive southern-accent.

After no response from the filly, she gently pushed the door open, causing the old, worn-down wood to creak.

There she was, the cutest little filly anypony in the Apple Family had ever seen. The tiny yellow earthpony layed in her bed, sound asleep, her chest rising and falling as gentle breaths went in and out of her lungs. Applejack of course was instantly diagnosed with type-67 diabetes and almost fell to the floor dead, but stepped silently towards Apple Bloom's bed regardless.

"Aaaaapple Bloom. Wake up, kiddo." Applejack said, gently shaking her sister's shoulder.

The yellow mare slowly opened her eyes, revealing two orange irises, glimmering in the sunlight from outside her window. Applejack's recently-diagnosed diabetus instantly tripled, but she smiled anyway, nearly shedding a tear as her loving sister yawned quietly.

"Ahhhhh, what's up, big sis'?" she asked softly.

"Just gettin' ready to treat you to the best sunday you ever did have. How 'bout we head in to town and grab some ice cream?" Applejack replied, roughly running a hoof through her sister's mane.

Apple Bloom's face quickly brightened, and she sprang onto her hooves, causing the bed beneath her to shift slightly.

"That sounds great! You really mean it?!" she asked, ecstatic.

The stetson-wearing farmpony gave a simple nod, causing her tiny sister to begin bouncing off the walls, happily trotting about the room because she was about to get some of the greatest substance known to ponykind.

Applejack chuckled and started towards the door to Apple Bloom's room.

"Get'churself ready. I'll be downstairs waitin'." she said before leaving the cute little filly's quarters.

* * *

"Alright, tell the pony what you want, kiddo." Applejack said, pointing to a smiling, apron-wearing, colt behind the counter.

The sounds of whirring freezers and smells of delicious ice-cream created a wonderful environment in the shop, only making the small filly's decision harder as all of the flavors smacked her nostrils at once. It was a bitch smack of awesomeness, but the downside was the time it took to decide which part of the bitch smack was the best. After a moment, a smile flashed across Apple Bloom's face as she pointed to one of the various buckets of ice cream behind the counter.

"I'll take some mint-brownie!" she said happily.

The colt behind the counter nodded, and began preparing the bowl of ice cream for her, the filly's face bright with anticipation of taking the first bite.

Nearby however, two young fillies sat, glaring at Apple Bloom and her older sister. One was gray, with nerd glasses and a dumb haircut, which was also grey, because she was boring. The other, pink, with a purple and white swirled mane, covered slightly by a shiny tiara, because she was apparently from the dark-ages and shit, and tiara's were "in" or whatever. The two mares twitched with jealous rage at the sight of Apple Bloom having a good time with her sister. Most likely because neither of them had sisters to call their own, let alone anypony who actually loved or cared for them.

"Look at her, having fun... She's just so... Stupid." Diamond Tiara said in a snarky, annoying, bitch-voice.

"Like, O-M-GHEE, totally. They're just so... Stupid." her cronie friend, Silver Spoon replied.

"Let's go make fun of them for no apparent reason!" the purple filly said with a sinister grin.

"Like, totally." her dumb friend replied.

Both fillies stood up from their booth, and approached the two farmponies with the walk of someone who says "swag" would have, spastic and douchey.

"Hey, Apple... Uhh... Bloomgay. Heh, because you're gay!" Diamond Tiara said, being completely original.

Apple Bloom turned to the two ponies and groaned, face-hoofing.

"Just had to ruin the perfect day..." she said under her breath.

Apple Jack rolled her eyes and tried not to make eye-contact with the two young fillies. Apple Bloom was pretty tough, she could handle it.

"We just wanted to let you know that you're so totally stupid!" Silver Spoon said.

Well that was a bit harsh... Applejack thought, raising an eyebrow.

"Am not..." Apple Bloom said, frowning slightly.

"You probably can't even afford ice cream because you're so stupid!" Diamond Tiara said with an annoying cackle.

This is getting personal...

"Yeah, so stupid!" Silver Spoon joined in.

"Psh, yeah. I bet her whole family is stupid, too..." the pink tiara-wearing filly said.

Woah, now that's just-

"You're simply the product of a missing-chromosome inspired, incestual rape-fest!" Diamond Tiara continued.

Applejack's pupils instantly shrank, and her eyelid twitched slightly in anger as the words said by the small pony echoed in her mind.

"HEY." she said, cutting off the two cackling fillies mid-cackle.

Both stopped dead and instantly looked up to the furious earthpony.

"Tha' FUCK did you just say to mah' sister?!" the country mare asked in a vicious tone.

"Applejack, don't worry about it, they're just-" Apple Bloom said, trying to calm her sister.

"No! I wanna' hear what this little bitch has ta' say!" AJ snapped, causing her sister and the two bitch-fillies to cower in fear.

"WELL?!" she continued, cocking her head closer to the two, causing them to jolt backwards, terrified.

"S'what I thought you little pussies... Now... You." she continued, poking a hoof against Diamond Tiara's chest. "I'm tired of your stupid-ass remarks to mah' sister. You show her some respect, ya' hear?!" she said, touching muzzles with the scared pony below her.

"B-But she's... Just.. So... Stupid..." Diamond Tiara said shakily, not wanting to admit defeat.

Applejack smirked and pulled away slightly, a wicked smile on her face.

"Then keep doin' it. Tonight. 9 O'clock. I want you to come up to the barn, and talk shit about mah' sister again. I dare yah'." the stetson-wearing pony said, mockingly.

Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyebrows.

"Well, I'll.. B-Be there! And I'll say, t-terrible things!" she continued.

Applejack, completely straight-faced, leaned down to the pink filly's ear.

"Good... Because if you don't... I'll find you... And I'll break your fucking legs..." she whispered.

Before pulling back, she licked Diamond Tiara's ear and smacked the filly's face with her hoof.

The colt behind the counter worriedly pushed a cup of mint-brownie ice cream towards Apple Bloom, then quickly retreated and looked to Applejack, who was in a dead-lock stare with Diamond Tiara, who was shivering in fear.

"T-Two bits, please..." the colt said, terrified as well.

Applejack slammed a hoof down with several bits under it, causing the counter to shake and a loud slam to echo throughout the ice cream shop.

"Keep the change." she said in a low, grim tone.

Without another word, the orange farmpony turned and left the shop, Apple Bloom following closely at her side, a cup of ice cream on her back.

* * *

Later that night, the town's residents began gathering at the Sweet Apple Acres Barn, most of them riled up for tonight's face off. Several banners were hanging from the front of the bright-red structure, depicting a savagely angry looking Applejack, and on another, a terrified Diamond Tiara. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash approached the barn as well, following a large crowd who was entering the brightly glowing structure to attend the fight.

Rainbow Dashed paused and raised an eyebrow as she noticed the banners.

"I wonder what's going on..." she said.

"Hold on, I'll check," Pinkie Pie said, craning her neck upwards to view the top of this page. "Applejack... Kicks the Shit out of... Diamond Tiara.... Wow-ee! Sounds like fun!" she continued, bringing her neck back to a position that was actually possible.

Rainbow Dash, once again, was dumbfounded by Pinkie's antics, and shook her head as she followed the rest of the crowd into the barn.

"First several gunfights, now this... You owe me..." the rainbow-maned pegasus said.

Pinkie hopped next to her oblivious to the fact that she was annoyed.

"Okey dokey lokey!" she said in her usually cheerful tone.

Inside of the barn, several brightly-glowing lamps filled the structure with light, as ponies lined old wooden bleachers placed just outside of a makeshift wrestling ring. Applejack waited at one of the corners, Big Macintosh massaging her shoulders and scanning the barn for Diamond Tiara.

"You sure you wanna' go through with this, sis'?" he asked worriedly.

"Of course I wanna' do this! You've seen the way that little bitch talks to our Apple Bloom!" she said, snapping backwards to face the large red earthstallion.

He sighed and shrugged in response, and climbed down from the ring's side.

In the bleachers, sat the Cutie Mark Crusaders, each one screaming and cheering for Applejack.

"This is gonna' be awesome!" Scootaloo said with a smirk.

"I know! I've never seen the shit get kicked out of somepony!" Sweetie Belle chimed in, hopping in joy.

"Mah' sister is gonna' make her wish she was never born..." Apple Bloom said, finishing the chorus of dialogue from the three fillies.

Suddenly, the roar of the crowd intensified into angry boo's, as a familiar pink filly entered the barn. Diamond Tiara snarled and held her head high as she approached the ring. It was hard for the small earthpony to make her way onto the surface of the ring, seeing as she was only a few feet tall, but she eventually managed to do it after several minutes of pathetic struggling.

Upon entering the ring, she saw Applejack, but continued scanning the area, looking for somepony else.

"Where is the ref?! I know referees are supposed to monitor these things!" she said in a snooty tone.

"Referee? I said street fight, Sugarcube. That means no ref, and no rules." Applejack replied with a chuckle.

Diamond's pupils shrank as the fear in her bones immediately tripled. She thought she might just endure a few punches, and escape the ring with her stubborn pride after a ref stopped the fight. But there was no ref. No escape. She was screwed.

"Start already!" a stallion shouted from the roaring crowd.

"Yeah! Kick her in the balls!" another colt shouted.

Applejack kept a smirk as she slowly approached the filly, who backed away and cowered in the corner of the ring. It was too late to back out now, not without looking like a complete bitch and losing the small amount of respect some ponies had for her. She had to stay and attempt to fight at least.

Diamond Tiara, shaking and shivering in the corner, closed her eyes and blindly threw a hoof towards Applejack as the farm mare approached. Surprisingly enough, it connected, and sent Applejack stumbling backwards for a moment. After regaining her balance, the orange earthpony slowly lifted a hoof to her lip. Pulling it away, she realized a small amount of blood had fallen onto the appendage.

"Did you just make me bleed...?" Applejack said dumbfounded.

Diamond Tiara gave no response, only continued cowering in the corner.

"No pony makes me bleed my own blood."

Without a hint of hesitation, Applejack reached forward and wrapped a hoof around the filly's neck, grasping her throat tightly, nearly crushing the pony's wind pipe with her iron claw grip of justice. Diamond Tiara choked and gasped for air, but before she could elicit a response to AJ's surprise attack, the country mare threw her opposite hoof into the filly's face with as much force as she could muster. The pink pony's face buckled under Applejack's thundering blow, and the tiara flew from her head and crashed onto the ground.

Applejack smirked as the pony cried out in pain, and threw another hoof into her face, then another, then another, then another. The pony's face was crumbling under AJ's blows like a hammer smashing an old head of lettuce, and the crowd couldn't get enough of it. Everypony in the barn roared and cheered Applejack on as she delivered blow after blow to the little filly's face. By now, the pink face of Diamond Tiara was turning purple and blue from huge bruises and several bleeding cuts. Seeing as her face had taken enough damage for the time being, the orange mare cocked her arm back, and tossed the filly to the center of the ring, where she landed with a stern thud and sprayed a small amount of blood onto the canvas.

Diamond Tiara tried to return to her hooves, struggling greatly as blood, tears, and bruises obstructed her vision. Her body was shaking now out of pain rather than fear. She wanted to just run. Run away, regardless of what it would do to her reputation. But Applejack had other plans. Before the filly could struggle to her hooves, the orange earthpony dived towards her, elbow extended. She landed harshly and the small pony's back, causing a loud crunch to echo throughout the barn, and send the pony back to her belly on the canvas with a loud yelp of pain.

Continuing her assault, Applejack stood up, and began sending several thundering kicks into the filly's stomach, each one causing the filly's ribs to cave in more and more, until they eventually shattered under the intense force of Applejack's legs. The country mare turned and prepared her back legs for the final kick, and bucked the bleeding filly into the air with the strong limbs that kept her farm alive.

The crying pink filly flew through the air for a moment and landed against the corner-buckle a moment later. It took a second for Diamond Tiara to regain her vision, but when she did, she saw her previous attacker standing in front of her, prodding a hoof at the canvas of the ring, and snorting angrily out of her nose. Diamond Tiara quickly noticed Applejack's intention and put both hooves up in defense.

"N-No! Please! I give up! Mercy! MERCY!" the pathetic pink filly pleaded.

Applejack responded to her plea, by charging forward as fast as she could, and slamming her head into the pink filly's already-shattered ribs, eliciting a high-pitched cry of intense pain from Diamond, in-sync with a loud crunch of bones and flesh. AJ stepped out of the way after her attack, and let the filly fall to the floor limply, still crying and moaning as a hot pain swirled around her entire body.

"Kick her in the balls!" Scootaloo shouted.

"She isn't carrying any balls!" Sweetie Belle said, narrowing her eyebrows and looking to Scootaloo.

"Oh... Well... The one guy said it, so I figured..."

"Just shut up and watch the fight."

Down in the ring, Applejack continued to mercilessly beat the little filly into submission, repeatedly slamming her face onto the canvas of the ring. Causing her already battered face to become a mess of blood and bruises, several teeth flying from her annoying maw as her head collided with the ground over and over again.

"Please! SLAM Just SLAM Stoooo- SLAM ooooop!" Diamond screamed in-between her bites of the canvas.

"Nope. You're still breathin', that means I aint' done yet!" Applejack said, quickening the rate in which she slammed the filly's head against the ground.

By now, Scootaloo was in the crowd, beaming with joy over seeing the neighborhood bully getting destroyed.

"I can't just watch, I gotta' get down there!" the orange filly said with a wide grin.

Without another word, the purple-maned pegasus pushed her way down the bleachers through the crowd and approached the side of the ring.

"Applejack! Hey Applejack! Tag me in!" she shouted, hopping up on the side.

The orange farmpony looked up from the mass carnage that was Diamond Tiara's face, and shrugged, dropping the filly on the ground once more.

"Sure. Wah' not?" AJ said, approaching the side of the ring.

She tapped Scootaloo's extended hoof and made her way through the ropes of the ring, while the orange filly she had just called in readied for battle.

"Oh you're gonna' get it you little dead bitch..." Scootaloo said in a menacing tone, approaching the trembling filly.

Diamond Tiara looked up momentarily, trying to see through the waterfalls of tears and blood covering her eyes. She was able to make out Scootaloo's shape and cowered slightly.

"N-No! Please not you!" she said frantically.

"Yes me."Scootaloo said, reaching Diamond Tiara in the middle of the ring.

The orange filly started out with a sharp blow to Diamond's jaw, causing her to roll over onto her back and groan once more. Scootaloo wasted no time in continuing her vicious beatdown of badassery, and took a seat on Diamond's already destroyed chest, then began sending several more pulse-pounding blows into the filly's battered face. Blood flew through the air as the crowd screamed and cheered for more, Diamond Tiara screaming for the vicious beating to stop. But Scootaloo didn't let up, continually bashing at the pink filly's skull until it was nearly caved in from the amount of hits it had taken.

Finishing off her face with one final blow, Scootaloo then spun around and took Diamond Tiara's foreleg between her hindlegs, then wrapped her own forelegs around it in an anaconda-style submission. The filly screamed as the bones in her foreleg began cracking under Scootaloo's grip, and she frantically tapped her hoof against the canvas of the ring. But there was still no ref, and she was still screwed.

The orange pegasus filly continued pulling at the foreleg she was wrapped-around, eliciting a scream from the filly she was fighting. Eventually, a loud, savage snap erupted throughout the barn, along with the pink appendage bending backwards, the bones beneath her skin crumbling and cracking as it was pushed past it's point of motion.

Scootaloo finally released her foreleg and walked to the corner of the ring as Diamond Tiara pulled the snapped appendage into her other foreleg and rocked back and forth, moaning in pain.

"Alright, she's all yours." Scootaloo said, smacking Applejack's hoof, and summoning her back into the ring.

As the orange pegasus exited the ring, the orange earthpony re-entered, and pondered her next move for a moment. She'd already bashed her face in, shattered her ribs, and broken her arm for life, so it was time for the finisher. A wicked grin worked it's way onto the farm pony's lips as she turned her head to the corner buckle behind her. She'd always secretly wanted to fly, and today was the day that dream would become real.

The crowd roared in anticipation as Applejack began climbing the turn buckle, readying her final attack. She stood up for a moment, putting her hooves in the air and belting a loud war cry. The bleachers responded, screaming louder in anticipation for the finishing move. Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara continued crying in the center of the ring, clenching her foreleg around the opposite, shattered one, blood pouring from her face, midsection, and foreleg, as part of her bone protruded from her battered coat. She paused for a moment as the crowd's cheering intensified, and scanned the arena with her eyes, searching for the source of their amusement.

Suddenly she saw it, Applejack flying through the air overhead, gracefully soaring through the sky above her as she spread her hooves and shouted happily.

"Yeeeeeee-hawww!" Applejack screeched as she came crashing down onto Diamond Tiara and the canvas of the ring.

The ring beneath them immediately buckled however, and sent both to the hard, dirt floor below. Thankfully, Diamond Tiara cushioned Applejack's fall, resulting in the rest of her bones simultaneously shattering at the same time. Applejack smiled and made her way back into the ring as Diamond Tiara gasped for breath, still buried in the large hole created by the orange earthpony's attack. Light slowly faded from the pink filly's view, and she eventually slipped out of consciousness, and saw only black.

* * *

"What is wrong with my daughter?!" a voice yelled, causing Diamond Tiara's eyes to creak open.

She groaned slightly and tried to move, but was completely obstructed from doing so. She instantly snapped her eyes the rest of the way open, and looked around. A full-cast covered the filly's entire body, several wires keeping both back legs in the air, while even more wires kept both forelegs hanging at her sides. Beside the bed, was her father, Filthy Rich, yelling at a random scrub who was looking at an X-ray.

"Sir, please calm down." the scrub said.

"No! Tell me what happened to my daughter! A filly doesn't just get a whole body-cast for nothing!" Rich continued.

The scrub sighed and pulled Filthy Rich away for a moment, placing a hoof sympathetically around his shoulder.

"Sir... We think she... May have..." the scrub said softly, trailing off.

"Spit it out, boy!" Rich replied angrily.

"We think she may have fucked with Applejack..." the scrub said quietly.

Filthy Rich's heart dropped in his chest, and his jaw dropped. He tried searching for something to say in response to the shocking news, but found nothing.

"N-No... Pony... Fucks with Applejack..." Rich said absentmindedly.

"I know... That's why I regret to inform you... Your daughter is going to be paralyzed for the rest of her life." the scrub said, patting Rich's shoulder softly.

Tears began rolling down Filthy Rich's cheeks, and he fell to his knees, letting his face drop into his hooves as he sobbed vigorously.

"She... She fucked with Applejack! Why would she do that?! I don't understand!" Filthy shouted through fits of crying.

"I know sir... I know... No pony fucks with Applejack... I'm so sorry..."

The steady rhythm of the heartbeat monitor echoed in Diamond Tiara's ears, along with the sobbing of her father. Her eyes slowly shut as her consciousness faded once more. She was going to be paralyzed for life... But at least she wasn't as Stupid as Apple Bloom...

The End