Knowing Everything Hurts Your Brain Severely

by Princess Glitzy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor
Length: 1584

Filly Twilight wakes up one morning and she knows everything.

Filly Twilight wakes up one morning and she knows everything. Also, Discord and Luna are in this even though they aren't here during this time period because it will be funny.

Published 2013-04-08 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-08 16:50:02 UTC

Fillies Know All

Twilight suddenly wakes up from a peaceful sleep. "What?!" She looks at her alarm clock, and the alarm isn't on. "Well that's strange. How did I wake up on time anyways?" She is going to overthink it, but she's a filly and it's morning; there shall be no thinking until later.

"Good morning Shining Armor." Her brother slowly rises from under the covers.

"I don't want to get up!"

"You have too! If you want to be a royal guard then you have to be able to get up quickly in case of emergencies!"

"I'm too tired...?" Twilight raises her eyebrow at him.

"That's not an emergency." Out of nowhere her head starts pounding and she starts speaking before she even knows what she's going to say.

"You are going to marry Cadence! Chrysalis will disguise herself as Cadence at your wedding! I will miss you when you get in to the Royal Guards, I will even sing a song about it!" Shining Armor looks at his sister. It's early enough that he believed that he was just hearing things.

"Yeah, good morning to you to..." Twilight looks at him. How did he not hear that? Twilight heaves a sigh of relief. Then, she repeats it. NO!

"YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY CADENCE! CHRYSALIS WILL DISGUISE HERSELF AS CADENCE AT YOUR WEDDING! I WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU GET INTO THE ROYAL GUARDS, I WILL EVEN SING A SONG ABOUT IT!" This time she says it louder (as if you couldn't tell from the caps).

"Twiley?"

"Uhhhhh... BYE!"

Twilight runs into her parents room and jumps atop the bed. Nightlight and Twilight Velvet stir in their sleep and then turn to face their daughter.

"Hi mom!"

"Hello, sweetie. Why are you in our bed?"

"No reason!" Soon, Nightlight joined the conversation.

"I was dreaming about this beautiful mare named Fleur De Lis. Why'd you have to wake us up?!" Twilight Velvet glares at her husband.

"I- I mean I was dreaming about how wonderful mom is, thank you for waking me up so I can see her..." Twilight Velvet smiles, she got what she wanted.

"Hi, dad."

"Hey." He again receives the death glare.

"Hello, pumpkin!" Then, Twilight's head begins to hurt and her stomach as well.

"I'm going to turn you into potted plants at the academy interview! We're going to have a dragon as a pet for a while! The two of you are based off of G1 ponies!" The parents stare at their usually sensical daughter. This is not like her.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I gotta go!" Twilight rushes back to her room, luckily it is a weekend and she has no school. As for her brother and parents, they have to go. Shining Armor has to work hard to get into the guards, so goes to school on weekends and takes special courses. Twilight's mother and father teach magic classes on the weekends.

Twilight lies in her bed, waiting for Cadence to come, she will be there soon enough. What do you know? Cadence appeared right after that (mostly due to the author's laziness).

"Hi, Cadence! I'm so happy that you're here! You're like the best foal sitter ever! You are willing to spend your weekends with me!" Princess Cadence smiles.

"Well I certainly couldn't leave my favorite filly hanging!" Twilight hugs her and then gets into the dance position. Cadence does the same.

"Sunshine, Sunshine. Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" They finish and fall on the floor. The two young mares laugh on this sunny Saturday morning.

"How have you been, Twi?"

"I've been good." Twilight once again felt strange. Not again!

"You are going to marry Shining Armor, but Queen Chrysalis will impersonate you and lock you up in a secret cave! You will take over the Crystal Kingdom! You will save my pet dragon Spike and the crystal heart from total destruction!" She smiles at the silly filly.

"Sure! Sounds fun!" Twilight opens her mouth in shock and then dances around Cadence.

"You wanna marry my brother! You wanna marry my brother! You wanna marry my brother! You wanna marry my brother!" Cadence blushes slightly.

"And you said wanna, like four times." She stops in her tracks.

"Incorrect grammar. Incorrect grammar! INCORRECT GRAMMAR! NOOOOO!" She starts hyperventilating. How will I get into Celestia's school of magic if I have terrible grammar?!

Cadence hugsher tightly. "Don't worry, you're a great student!" Twilight smiles.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* That must be Shining Armor! Twilight runs to greet her brother at the door.

"Hey Twiley!"

"Hey BBBFF!" Cadence and Shining stare at her.

"Big brother best friend forever."

"Ohhhhhhh." Cadence gave Twilight a quick kiss on the forehead and then teleports back to her home. Twilight throws her arms around her brother.

"Guess what?"

"What?!"

"You have the school interview tomorrow!"

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!" Twilight runs upstairs to do some more studying.

Twilight stands in front of some of the most highly respected teachers/administrators in all of Equestria. They are all looking at her, waiting for her to do something to amaze them. She stares at the little dragon egg. She gulps hard and then begins the spell. Her parents' smiles gave her comfort.

Sparks emerge, but the egg doesn't move a single bit.

"Come on!" She tries harder. Some more magic spurts out, but nothing happens. "I can do this!" She tries from every angle, but to no avail. Then, out of nowhere she heards a sound, something like an explosion. The room glows, the dragon hatches, she levitates her teachers and her parents became plants. Told you so.

Princess Celestia walks in and puts a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. Twilight's eyes stops glowing, but the headache returns.

"Hey, princess."

"Hello Twilight Sparkle I-"

"Want you to be my personal apprentice! And I have my cutie mark! A pink star with six, white, smaller stars that represent the elements of harmony. I'm the element of magic! We will defeat King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis etcetera!" Celestia stares at the student. Celestia knows for a fact that all of that is true, excluding a couple things that she makes a mental note to look out for, but how does she know?

"C- Can you-"

"Tell the future, yes. I woke up this morning and POOF, I know everything! I get headaches and then SHAZAM!"

"You must meet my sister!" Twilight beams up at her new teacher as the two of them and her parents teleport to the Royal Castle.

"Hello, Miss. Sparkle!" Princess Luna shouts.

"Quiet down a bit, sister." Luna blushed which they couldn't see due to her dark coat.

"It's so nice to meet you, Luna!" After saying that name she knows what is coming.

"You will try to double the fun and you will scare all the ponies on nightmare night! Pipsqueak will say that you're his favorite princess! You turn into Nightmare Moon when you get evil! You don't like that ponies sleep during the night! You feel upstaged by Celestia! You are the younger sibling!" Luna stares at her with small tears in her eyes. Celestia turns to her sister.

"Is this true? Do you feel like my day and I are more important than you and your night?" Luna nods. Celestia grabs her sister in a huge hug.

"Do not fret sister." They signal for Twilight to join in the hug. Her parents stare at them. Are we missing something?

While this was happening Discord had slowly walked in. "Hello, my little ponies!" Twilight has a headache.

"That's the TV show that we are on! You are a draconequus! You like chocolate milk! You are the master of chaos! You will try to destroy Ponyville!" Discord looks around nervously.

"Nuh uh! I am totally reformed! I do like chocolate milk though. Also, we aren't on a television!" Celestia looks at him coldly.

"Discord, you have three seconds to run before I turn you to stone."

"As if you would do that."

"3..."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, please!"

"2..."

"Don't do it!"

"1... 0" Celestia and Luna used their magic to turn him to stone while the small little filly jumped.

"That was spectacular!"

"Thou speak big words for one so small. We think that that is... cool?" She looked at Celestia for approval.

"Try not to use 'thou', try you. Also, use I instead of 'we' when you only mean yourself. Try to make your words flow better. Cool is fine."

"You use large words for one so small. I think that is cool." Twilight smiles brightly. Suddenly, she feels the largest headache ever.

"My friends` names will be Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy! My dragon's name is Spike and he will become my assistant! I will run a library in Ponyville! I will defeat many foes! I will become an alicorn! We are a TV show that was based off of an older one! They have doll forms of us! But, they make Princess Celestia pink! They only put the cutie marks on one side! I will some day eat a flower sandwich at a restaurant on a rainy day! I will never know how to dance!" She passes out on the floor.

"That was certainly... weird."

"Who wants to forget about this entirely?"

"I DO!"

Author's Note

Tell me if you think this needs the alternate universe tag.