Mare Vs. Machine

by pikorar

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 4272

Equestria is torn a part by an extremely dense and infinitely powerful mineral dubbed "Equestrium". A rush for this mineral pits the Celestian controlled north against the Luna controlled south in a civil war.

Soon after the discovery of an infinitely powerful mineral, life in Equestria turns from friendship to feud. Celestia demands the immediate requisition of this mineral by any means necessary.

Meanwhile Luna turns away from Celestia in desperation to restore Equestria to its formed glory. She sides with the BLU company to get an upper hand against Celestia, but Celestia combats her with the establishment of RED. Thus marks the beginning of the Equestrian Civil War conducted via the Dual Team Fortress Act.

Published 2013-04-08 01:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-09 20:39:08 UTC

Chapter 1 - Revving Up

-Chapter 1-

I was leaned against the cracked cement walls of the dull gray locker room, trying to enjoy my last few moments of peace and quiet before the bullet storm. I was a wreck.

I wish I had somepony to talk to, but the rest of the team had already headed out. I just couldn't bear to leave the relative safety of the locker room. My nerves told me I might do something stupid if I was anywhere else.

Looking for a distraction, I decided to pick up a small mirror lying beside me to take one last look at myself in my standard issue scout uniform. My peach colored fur and white mane stood out well with the bright blue clothing. And I must say, I looked good with a pony tail.

I just wish I could see my wings...

As a pegasus, I had hoped for luxury of flying. Unfortunately, that was against the rules, so to discourage flight, BLU required me to wear a saddle over my wings.

But forgetting aesthetics, I inspected my holsters to make sure my weapons were well within my reach. Wouldn’t want to waste any time pulling out a weapon if it was needed. I had a total of three holsters, one for my primary weapon, one for my secondary weapon, and another for a melee weapon.

Unconventionally, my melee weapon was a baseball bat. I shrugged off BLU’s idea of a proper weapon, because it would still serve serve its purpose. Besides, it was only to use in dire situations, like if I ran out of bullets or my guns stopped operating. The bat holster rested on the right side of my body, underneath my primary gun holster. Its handle stuck out so that I could pull it out when needed.

My primary weapon was a scattergun; a break-action, low-cal shotgun with burst rounds. It was designed for fast-paced action, and could easily fell a proximate pony in one to two shots.

Unfortunately, its poor aim became palpable as distance became a factor, so for farther-off opponents, I'd have to rely on my secondary weapon which was a modified sub-automatic pistol with particularly low bullet drop.

However, my main job was to capture control points quickly and efficiently. Letting myself get distracted by opponents that I could otherwise outrun might undermine my place on the team and open me up for more error. That being said, I’d have to rely on my agility and endurance to do my part for my team.

*KRZZT*

The intercom system had clicked on, and soon after the noise came the borderline hysterical voice of the Administrator issuing a five minute warning until fighting would commence.

I can’t say I knew much about him, beyond some rumor that he’s somehow able to judge battles scattered all around Equestria simultaneously.

I had chosen to remain in the locker room, because with as many resources as it did have, it lacked a clock. However, since I knew the moment was upon me anyway, I opened my locker and scavenged the finishing touches for my outfit. I reached in and pulled out a box marked "optional attire".

All that was in it was a shiny bronze badge engraved with the word “mercenary” at the top, with a tier level three denotation at the bottom. I grabbed it in my teeth and clumsily clipped it onto the front of my shirt. I wasn’t proud of it, but I had nothing else to wear. I was what some ponies might begrudgingly call a “FTP”, or “Forced to Participate”.

For only a short time after the passing of the Dual Team Fortress Act, only professional mercenaries were hired to do this job, but once both BLU and RED became desperate to hire more guns, they began a draft, and randomly hired untrained ponies like me.

"KRZZT."

“Welcome My Little Ponies, to the slaughter! Last team alive has to clean up after their mess. Let’s not waste any more time, shall we?”

“Ahem, the battle begins in 3... 2... 1...”

*DING*

Sigh... I just prayed that the pay would be good as I took one last look around the room. I gathered my personal stuff, put them in my locker, and left the locker room.

When I opened the locker room doors, the sudden burst of ambient light made me feel lightheaded. Combine that with the distinct sound of air-raid sirens, and it made for a terrifying effect.

My limbs went numb, and for a moment, I forgot how to walk. Ugh, Luna dammit, I didn't want to leave the locker room! But I had a job to do, and Luna dammit, I was going to do it!

Fortunately, my team wasn’t too far ahead, and I had time to greet one pony whose company I had grown to enjoy in my recent days at the BLU headquarters in Appleloosa.

“Firecracker!”

My friend turned around, and instantly greeted me with a smile and a nod.

“Hey there Quickshot! Ready for your first tour?”

That stopped me in my tracks. I scuffed the ground with a hoof, and looked down in shame. I had sworn to her earlier that I was brave! But now I didn't know anymore.

“Oh, Quickshot, what's wrong? Are you scared of dying?” Firecracker, slowly walked up to me and put her hoof on my shoulder.

“W-Were you scared your first time?” Dammit! I'm so soft!

“Of course I was! I couldn’t trust just how real the notion of that wonky respawning spell was, but sure enough I’ve died several times and I’m still here! Don’t worry, you get used to it. But I can tell you this, dying is painful... Very painful.”

“Firecracker! You’re not making this any easier on me! I don’t want to die...”

Firecracker chuckled but stepped forward and embraced me tightly before turning on the spot and walking away. She brandished her grenade launcher and finally spoke. “None of us want to die. But this is my job, and I do it to keep myself alive. Ironic, don’t you think? Come on, we've got a battle to win.”

Then she galloped off, leaving me there with my thoughts.

Respawning... That's an idea that's haunted me from the moment I learned about it. "Respawn" is the name given a spell that can revive dead ponies. Incidentally, it could only revive ponies who've died of unnatural causes, like a bullet to the brain. Perfect for my line of work.

“Attention! RED team has captured the point!”

It was then that I realized my team had left me behind. "Ugh! What am I doing?"

I stood quickly, adjusted my cap, and ran out into the line of fire. It was foggy, and at first glance it seemed pretty peaceful. I could only assume that my teammates had gone on ahead of me, and I slowed my jog to a meandering walk.

*PWUM*

"FUCK!"

I jumped back, and watched a small clump of dirt fly from the ground right in front of me. Somepony had fired a bullet at me, but from where!? I panicked, jogging in place and looking around hysterically, but I couldn't find the source.

Oh Luna, dammit, I decided that before I stood around looking stupid any longer that I would have to take shelter. During my panic, I had picked out a good outcropping of boulders to the right of me. I heard another shot as I stumbled to reach safety.

I lay there for a while, trying to catch my breath. "Ugh... Two seconds and I'm already in a whole load of shit." I peaked my head out from behind one of the large rocks, and was just as suddenly behatted with another booming sound.

Whoever it was, their aim was improving. I took a peek at the building I had just left, and saw my hat torn to shred, with a exceptionally large bullet lying amongst the cloth. With what I’ve gathered from my colleagues I could assume that my assailant was a sniper.

It would be a pain finding him before he could land a shot on me. Just then, I noticed a faint red beam of light of light hovering just over me. It was all so obvious now, I just need to follow the light to its owner.

The fog had been a blessing in disguise, because following a the beam of light through the dense air was easy.

I decided to risk a peak once I got a good idea of the light’s source.

Sure enough, once I gathered enough courage to peek my head over the rocks again, I spotted the sniper’s silhouette stood atop a very high awning overlooking the square that two buildings created. His rifle was being held at his side, and he was quickly scanning the area. I ducked my head down as quickly as he might have noticed me, and desperately looked for some sort of way out.

I could have ran back into the base and given up there, but had to prove myself, and aspired to move forward. Thankfully, I found a conveniently placed overhead far to the left of me. It would take a hop, skip, and a jump to reach it. I just had to trust my abilities as a scout.

I took a deep breath, kneeled low, and once I had readied my legs for an excursion, I bolted towards the overhead. I didn’t hear any shots, so I could only assume I did well.

I suddenly heard the distinct sound of the base door shutters opening. I looked over and saw a friendly pyro leaving the spawning room.

“Get down!” I warned the pyro. He stopped in his tracks, and granted me a blank stare. “There’s a sniper, up there!” I pointed towards the sniper’s relative position. The pyro’s eyes followed… I think. There’s not much I can tell when his eyes are completely covered.

I watched the dot move quickly towards the pyro, but without so much as a mumble, the masked pony ran towards the other building in a zigzag pattern. I got pissed.

“Hey numbnuts! Didn’t you hear me!?” Obviously not, as he gave me no regard , and headed straight into the building.

Vexed, I supposed that the sniper was just notorious for being a bad shot. I let my guard down just a moment, and when I peeked my head from the veil, I saw him with his sniper rifle trained right at me. If I had waited there another split second my head would have become a coarse dipping sauce.

Okay, so he may be a bad shot, but he’s very well prepared to end me.

I really had no idea what to do at this point. But I wouldn’t give up. If I was going to die it would be better to have a bullet through my brain, than to suffer a slow death by a bullet in my gut. I pulled out my pistol, clenched it in my teeth, and braced myself to fire at my enemy. I wasn’t going without a fight.

All bets were off however, when I heard a yelp, and watched the sniper fly from his awning. I flinched at the sound of his neck breaking from the impact, and the sight of his disheveled body, which landed only about ten feet away from me.

I looked up at the late sniper pony’s awning, and saw the eerily dull pyro glaring at me. He gave me a friendly wave and walked back into the building.

How could a pony be so able to kill another pony? What sort of things went through that pyro’s mind? What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?

I didn’t think too long in danger of over analyzing things as I usually do.I hung my head, and sighed. I thought about the sacrifices my fellow teammates were making, and remembered my place as a mercenary for Luna, and for Equestria. I stood up, holstered my weapon, and walked through the cracked cement building.

The building opened up into a raging battle. This was much more intense than a struggle against a single sniper. As far as I can tell our entire team was being held back primarily by a hulking heavy and his pesky medic friend. The heavy looked like a crazed white Pegasus with comically small wings. A RED engineer was galloping back and forth in the background, gathering supplies to supplement his impressive sentry.

I watched from relative safety as my team was picked off, and getting a good view of my surroundings, I found Firecracker hunkered down in a ditch.

She grabbed a BLU spy by the forearm, and pointing at the sentry, she ordered him to attack.

The spy, as it turned out, wasn’t BLU at all. He quickly turned red, and fired a bullet into Firecracker’s arm. I gasped at the sound of Firecracker’s sudden outburst of pain.

“No!” I leapt from the doorway, took the trigger of my scattershot between my teeth and fired point blank at the spy. But it was too late, he was apparently gone; cloaked. I couldn’t waste time searching for him, I jumped into the ditch, and tended to Firecracker.

“Firecracker, you’re bleeding!”

“Quickshot, where have you been?”

“There’s no time to explain, you are bleeding!” I pointed at her arm as if she wasn’t already aware.

“No shit, rookie. That’s what happens when you get shot.” She grabbed her grenade launcher in both hooves, and tossed it as far as she could. “The rest of the team has given up. I think you should too. Just be thankful you haven’t died yet.”

“What do you mean? Come on, let’s get you back to the base!” I grabbed her arm, and pulled, but she made herself dead weight in defiance.

“I’m a goner, I’ll meet you when I respawn. Just go.” I didn’t know if it was the smog in the air or the bleeding out that was making her delirious. I knew I couldn’t let her die, so quickly formulated a way to stop her bleeding.

I pulled at my right arm bandages with my teeth, and began to strip them off. Once my right arm was bare, I nudged Firecracker’s wounded forearm outwards, and began to wrap the bandage around her arm.

“Quickshot, seriously quit it. Just go!”

“Nf! I’mf noft leafing fou like thisf!” At this point I cared not if I lived or died, and we didn’t have a medic, so Firecracker’s only salvation was a rookie scout.

“Quickshot-“

“Shvuft-upf!” Firecracker was beginning to try my patience, she tried time and time again to get away from me, but I pinned her down and continued bandaging.

Meanwhile, RED team seemed to have fallen back. The control point was theirs, and would remain that way. Nothing I could do could save BLU now and no effort by them would be necessary.

I finished the wrapping and packed the bandages down. I was sickened by the idea that the main thing holding the bandages in place was my friend’s blood, which had already caked itself all over. Though, to further reinforce the bandages, I removed the hair band keeping my pony-tail in place, and put is securely around the bandages.

I used the bowl shape of the ditch to my advantage. Firecracker wouldn’t lift herself up, and I wasn’t strong enough to use my limbs. I laid across her belly and ordered her to hold on. At this point she was beyond complaining and did as she was told.

I rolled onto my legs, and with Firecracker latched onto my back, I stumbled out of the ditch.

*** *** ***

In hindsight, I figured my act of kindness wouldn’t go very far with Firecracker. These ponies, including her, were far past caring about the worth of a life. Each of them have died several times. And each time, they had been granted life again. It had become a given, and I had taken the option of death away from Firecracker.

I took a seat in the cracked gray cement locker where the rest of the team had convened. They collectively groaned, and I just hung my head and sighed. I felt as if I had utterly failed Luna, and Equestria.

It wasn’t until I looked up that I noticed everypony’s eyes trained on me.

I scanned the room of ponies until my eyes came to rest on the heavy. He was the most intimidating. I felt that if I took my eyes off of him for a second that something bad would happen that I wouldn’t be ready to avoid.

“That burning you feel? That is feeling of shame.”

The sincerity in the heavy’s tone stung, and I felt like crying. It hurt to know that you failed at something you had been hopelessly thrown into.

“Alright, alright, leave her alone! The rookie tried her best.”

The voice was Firecracker’s, who was just returning from recovery. “Heavy, weren’t you killed after falling on your flank during your first battle when the force of your minigun became too much for you to handle?”

“Hey! Let us not get off of ze subject here! She never even showed up!"

“Give it a rest! It was her first mission and she saved my life! The least you could do is encourage her to do better.” The commotion in the room ceased immediately. Everypony in the room shrugged off assaulting me for their own side conversations. I couldn't believe how much influence Firecracker seemed to have on her teammates.

After that, Firecracker turned on the spot and walked out of the room.

“Woah, Firecracker, wait up!” I pursued her as quickly as my legs could run, which was pretty fast if you don’t remember me mentioning.

Firecracker seemed lost in thought as she walked to what I supposed was her own room. I didn’t want to impose, but I feel like there was a bit of awkwardness to tackle.

“Listen, Firecracker, you didn’t need to stand up for me back there. I mean, I wasn’t there when you guys needed me.” I actually didn’t feel that way at all. I felt as if we were doomed from the start, with or without my input. But sometimes you have to lie for the sake of friendship.

Firecracker didn’t stop or slow her pace, but she did speak. “Don’t sweat it, kid. You’ve still got lots to learn.”

I stood there and watched her walk into the room and close the door behind her. Her words had hurt the most... They seemed almost hollow. If anything, this team was completely dysfunctional, and she knew it.

*** *** ***

I decided to lie low for the night. Instead of trying to socialize, I went in my room and locked the door behind me. My mind fled to the stress my next contract might bring me.

Scattered all about the land are small hot-spots which lie atop large deposits of Equestrium. These hotspots rarely go unnoticed by either RED or BLU. Wherever RED decides to set up base, BLU is quick to follow, and vice-versa. The construction of both bases is generally peaceful; the real challenge comes after the bases are completed.

According to the Dual Team Fortress Act, once the bases are completed, RED and BLU send in mercenaries like me to fight for the land. Victory goes to whichever team is able to hold the “control point” for three minutes.

Unfortunately, we lost our stake, and were forcefully removed from the site. Thankfully, BLU is not unkind. They've given us room and board until another contract opens up, and... I adored my room.

For such a ramshackle place on the outside, the rooms were almost royalty-grade. The beds were adorned with curtains for privacy, and the bathroom sinks were made of marble. Obviously, BLU wanted to retain the morale of their mercenaries. Next to my bed lie a stack of catalogs from Mare Co., the cover of each presenting a new and exciting hat.

I’m not sure how to quite explain it, but I felt somehow hypnotized by each hat. As my eyes scanned through a catalog, my yearning for a new hat became more and more unbearable. I quickly and clumsily uncapped a pen with my hooves, and began circling hats that took my fancy.

It wasn’t like I could afford a new hat anyway. Because of our embarrassing loss, we received no pay for our contract. Some of my teammates, including me, wore standard issued hats.

Oddly enough, the weapons were worth dramatically less than the hats were. If I could round up five bits, I could afford a neat new scattergun called the Force a’ Nature. The weapons sections contained some other very novelty weapons like giant candy canes and energy drinks. It wasn’t until I came upon an ad for a jar of piss that I decided I had had enough for one day.

I quickly stripped out of my work attire, and splayed open the curtains that hid my bed from view.

“Oh! Ew, no!” I relented at the sight of my bed. In lieu of the Equestrium rush there must have been some sort of bed shortage, because behind the pretty curtains there stood a stained and bug infested old cot. I couldn’t say for sure, but I could have sworn I saw a moldy half eaten sandwich within the fray.

It’s no wonder they chose to hide it from view. I instantly refused to lie on the putrid bed, and opted for the hard wooden floor instead.

With a groan I shut the bed curtains. Coming from a poor family of rock farmers, I wasn’t usually picky about my sleeping arrangements. However, this time I had set my expectations high, and in an instant, they had been dashed. Regardless, I knew I had to be headstrong, and I wouldn’t be kept from a good night’s sleep.

I blew out my candles, curled myself up on the ground, and with a relieving sigh I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Author's Note

I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 1; there is much more to come as events unfold. I hope to release chapters on a regular basis. Chapter 2 is already almost complete and more is in development.

This is my first fanfiction, so I'm really nervous. Any and all feedback is welcome.

Chapter 1.5 - From Twilight to Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm not sure how to reply to your previous letter.

I feel as if it's my duty as your protege to look after your health as you undoubtedly would mine. Your notion that Equestria is being divided in civil war is a bit of an exaggeration, wouldn't you agree? Despite Luna's actions in the distant past, I can't believe that she would be plotting any "attacks" against the capital of Canterlot now.

I believe the best way to solve this problem is to hold a meeting between you, Luna, and I to talk about our feelings. I know you're carrying a lot of burdens right now, but I am here for you! Not as a student or a subject, but as a friend! Surely you know that by now.

However, I am taken aback by your "summons." Rest assured, I would stand up for Equestria no matter the what evil plots to attack it. However, your request to enlist both I AND Spike into your army is preposterous! I can't agree to putting Spike in any danger; he is a dragon yes, but in case you've forgotten, he's only a child.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Mare Vs. Machine - Prologue

-Prologue-

Once upon a time, two Regal sisters ruled over a peaceful land of ponies known as Equestria. A place where many creatures roamed and friendship was magic. However, it’s but a shadow of its old self.

Equestria was settled atop a large deposit of an extremely dense and rare mineral filled with an almost endless amount of magical energy. Soon after its discovery, life in Equestria turned to conflict. The eldest sister, Celestia, recognized it as the same mineral that the Elements of Harmony were forged from, and decided that it was only for the good of pony-kind, requisitioned that it be mined up as quickly as possible.

After some time, she became almost cruel. It seemed almost as if she were Hell-bent on hoarding as much of the mineral as she could. She became stringent and her tactics became harsh. Before long, her miners were being regarded almost as slaves, and all the while tensions mounted between her and her sister, Luna.

Some ponies believed that the context of Celestia’s passion for Equestrium was a ploy to enhance her own magical prowess. These ponies refuted her, and bonded together as a united force to rise up against her, becoming the first members of what would become BLU, or the Battalions of the Lunar Unitary.

Buried under the strife of political expectations and protests, Luna caved in, and fled Canterlot. She headed for the BLU headquarters in Las Pegasus to take her rightful place as the leader of the Equestrian rebellion. Celestia, in trying to defy BLU, established RED: The Regiments of the Equestrian Dominion.

Thus marks the beginning of the Team Fortress Civil War.

Jackie Burns & Tony Motroni Present
Mare Vs. Machine

Author's Note

Jackie Burns (pikorar) - Lead Writer, Developer, and Editor
Toni Motroni (Wondershy) - Co. Writer