The Tale of Written Paradox

by TimeLord_Whooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2441

A unicorn who is always using his magic on some unkown thing goes to Ponyville to make friends or be left alone.

Written Paradox goes to Ponyville, hoping to make some friends or just be left alone. In Canterlot, many ponies had disliked him, made fun of him, or were just plain afraid of him. The reason, he's a unicorn who's horn is always glowing, he never stops using his magic but nopony knows on what. What's his secret, you'll just have to find out.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-18 03:37:08 UTC

Arrival in Ponyville

The train rattled as it steamed through the vast farmland that surrounded Ponyville, a dark blue unicorn with a dark blonde mane and almost silver eyes watched from his window as it passed by.  'Just a few more minutes to a new life.' he thought to himself.  A couple sitting across from him were looking at him with curiosity, his horn was glowing but there was no visible magic in the vicinity.  He noticed their looks and sighed, everywhere he went the same thing.

"Next stop, Ponyville.  Make sure to gather all of your belongings as you exit the train." came an announcement from the speakers overhead.

'Finally.' he sighed to himself.  He picked up his suitcase from which scratching sounds were coming from, and headed to the nearest exit.

The train slowly rolled into the station and made a loud screech as it stopped.  The doors opened and he stepped onto the platform.  He looked around at his new home town, it seemed a bit whimsical and happy here, many ponies walked the streets chatting with friends and shopping.  He started walking, looking for the house that he had purchased the other day after seeing an ad for it in the newspaper.

He had been walking for two blocks before his path was blocked by a mass of pink mane.

"Hiya there!" came a high pitched excited sounding voice, "You're new here aren't ya?  What's your name?  Where do you live?  What's your favorite color?  Ooh ooh, what's the variable of the constant shift in time when time is moving at a constant of three thousand seconds per covaxial paradox?"

"What is what?" he asked with a scared expression. 'Who in Equestria is this pony and what is with her?' he asked in his head, more scratching came from his suitcase.

"Oh, never mind, I just remembered the answer is Pi, and that just so happens to be my name, well only part of it and it's spelled differently, I'm Pinkie Pie!" she shouted with a smile and shook his hoof.

"Uh... Hi, my n-name is Written Paradox." he said uncertainly.

Pinkie gave him an odd look, 'oh great, she's going to ask about my horn.' he thought.

"That's a weird name isn't it?  How about I call you Paradox, ooh, or Professor Paradox, how does that sound, Written is just so weird to say..."

He looked taken aback, 'My name is weird?  Of all things to think is weird, she says my name is weird?'

"I prefer my full name, Paradox makes me sound weird." he said.

"Oh I just remembered I need to be somewhere right now, come by Sugar Cube Corner later.  See ya Paradox!" she shouted as she ran off in the direction of said bakery.

'That was too weird.' he thought to himself as he continued walking, looking for the house from the advertisement.

He checked a sheet of paper he had stashed in his suitcase, 'According to this, it's supposed to be two houses away from the Golden Oaks Library, so... where is the library?' he thought as he looked up from his note to see a yellow pegasus with a pink mane backing into him.

"Uh, excuse me." he said before she hit him.

The yellow pegasus jumped and turned to see who had spoke.  "Y-yes?" she asked quietly, a few ducks which had been following her quacked loudly.

"Um, I was wondering if you could..." he trailed off, looking at the ducks curiously.  "Okay, I have to ask, what's with the ducks?"

"Oh, um... I'm making sure they get home safe." she said, smiling at the ducks.  "They live a terribly long way away, across town."

"Well that's nice of you." he said as he smiled at her.

She hid her face behind her mane as she blushed.  "Th-thank you...  Oh, my name is Fluttershy." she said nervously, getting quieter with every word.  "U-um..." she started, looking at his horn but he didn't hear so he continued.

"Hello Fluttershy, my name is Written Paradox.  I'm just moving here today... which brings me back to why called to you in the first place, I'm looking for the Golden Oaks Library, do you know where it is?"

She nervously shook his hoof which he had extended towards her and said, "Oh yes, it's just down this street, you want to turn left after three blocks and it will be at the end of that block."

"Okay, thank you." he said and gave her a little bow.

She blushed as he walked around her, taking care not to disturb the ducks which were waiting patiently for them to finish their conversation.  She watched him continue down the street and turn the corner before continuing to walk the ducks through town.

Written Paradox saw the library.  'It's made from a living tree?' he thought, astounded, he had never heard of such a thing.  He walked up to it and looked inside.  A purple unicorn was tossing books around the room with her magic while a baby dragon was running around collecting them and putting them in organized stacks.  It didn't take long for the two to empty the shelves and stack the books into their neat piles.

"Good job Spike." the purple unicorn said as she patted the tired dragon's head.

"Next time you get to chase the books around the room and stack them as I throw them at you." Spike said as he heaved for air.

The two laughed.  Smiling, Written Paradox walked in.  "Wow, that was cool." he said to the two.

"What the?" the purple unicorn said, looking at the pony who had interrupted their laughing.  "Spike, didn't you turn the sign to say 'closed'?"

"I did... maybe he just didn't see it." Spike said confused.

"Oh... yeah, I didn't see the sign.  I just saw you two working and I was amazed at how fast you were collecting and piling the books, Spike." Written Paradox said as his face flushed with embarrassment, "I'm Written Paradox by the way."

Spike smiled at him, enjoying the praise he had received.  The purple unicorn said, "Yes, he's a very good assistant... most of the time..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the dragon asked angrily.

"I'm just referring to when you get in trouble, or put yourself in danger, or when you get others in trouble or in danger." she said matter-of-factly.

Spike frowned at her, "Oh come on, it's not like I do it intentionally."

Written Paradox's smile had been vanishing as the two spoke, slowly being replaced by a look of concern.

"I know, that's why I always forgive you... and don't let you be in charge of anything other than food..." she finished under her breath.

"What was that last thing you said?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, I only said how good of a dragon you are." she said with a smile.

Written Paradox cleared his throat, the two looked at him curiously.

"Something wrong?" the purple unicorn asked.

"Um well... not really, I just... I introduced myself but you have yet to do the same." he said.

"Oh, how rude of me, I'm Twilight Sparkle... and I forgot what you said your name was, sorry." Twilight said with an embarrassed smile.

"Written Paradox." he said again as he raised his hoof for her to shake.

"Okay, well, the library is closed and I need to finish this up so if you could come back later or tomorrow." she said, turning to the stacks of books and reading their titles, ignoring his raised hoof.

"Well then... see you tomorrow I guess." he said uncertainly, dropping his hoof.

In response, Twilight Sparkle grunted as she started levitating the books over to their respective shelves.  Written Paradox gave Spike a half smile as he turned and walked out of the library.  'Well, that was weird, why did I walk in there in the first place?' he asked himself as he shook his head to clear his thoughts.

He looked down the street, searching again for the house he was moving into.  Not far away was a house with a 'sold' sign on the door.  He walked over to it as he pulled his note out again and compared the addresses.  He smiled, 'Finally.' he thought.

He walked inside to find an empty room.  He looked around it with a confused look.  Checking his note again he said, "This place is supposed to be furnished!  What's going on?"

There was no answer, just silence.  He sighed and thought, 'oh well.'  He levitated out a small notebook from his suitcase, a quill was already poised to write on it.  He concentrated as he drew a mental picture of a desk and the quill started moving across the page, left to right as it wrote out the description of the desk he was thinking of.  His horn started to glow more brightly as he closed his eyes to concentrate.  The page was wiped blank and when he opened his eyes, the desk he had pictured in his mind was sitting there in the corner where he had imagined it to be.  He did the same for all of the other furniture he needed then moved to the other rooms and continued producing furniture from his notebook.

He dropped onto his newly formed bed, exhausted from all the magic making his furniture had taken up.  His horn still glowed as he emptied his suitcase into his closet with what little magic he had left.  A book with a quill scribbling on one of it's pages floated out, he levitated it onto his lap and read what it had been writing all day, being careful not to get in the way of the moving quill.

He smiled at the book, 'My publisher will love this story.'  He put the book down and rest his head onto his pillow and drifted off to sleep.

***

Written Paradox woke from his dream with a start, looking around his room he groaned and turned on his side to continue sleeping.  Then he realized that he was being watched.  He jumped up and looked at the pink mare who lay in his bed.

"Heya sleepyhead!" Pinkie said happily.  "I was wondering when you were going to wake up, I was curious about how comfortable your bed is when I saw you sleeping so peacefully so I jumped in."

"It's rude to lay in somepony's bed without permission!" Written Paradox yelled.

"Sorry... Oh I came here to come get you!" she said with a shocked look on her face.  "I can't believe I forgot.  You didn't show up so I came looking for you and I just forgot when I saw your cute sleeping... Uh..." she looked around nervously, her cheeks a bright red, "Oh hey look, this book is writing itself!"

"You can't read it!" he said as he lunged for the book, pulling it up, out of reach of the surprised pink mare.  "It's not ready for the public to read it just yet, it still needs to be fine tuned."

Pinkie looked down then just as suddenly looked up.  "I keep forgetting that I came here to get you." she said.  "Come on already!"

Written Paradox looked at Pinkie in astonishment, he shook his head and followed her outside.  She led him all the way to Sugar Cube Corner and walked him inside the dark bakery.  The lights popped on and ponies jumped out into view shouting, "SURPRISE!"

He jumped back in shock and looked around the room at all the ponies there.  Among the masses were the other two mares he had met that day, Fluttershy and Twilight, along with Spike the dragon.  They were standing together with a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and an orange earth pony with a light blonde mane and a white unicorn with a purple mane.  They all smiled brightly at him as he stepped towards the center of the room.

The ponies all lined up and introduced themselves to him and either shook his hoof, nodded or bowed towards him, or even gave him a tight hug.  He hadn't expected this and was doing everything with a nervous jitter.  All the ponies walked off to enjoy the party after they had introduced themselves and music started.

Written Paradox looked around curiously.  'Had nopony noticed his horn glowing?' he asked himself.  He sat himself down at one of the tables and a few other ponies joined him.  Lyra and Bon Bon sat to his left and the white unicorn, the cyan pegasus, and the orange earth pony, who had introduced themselves as Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack earlier, took the remaining seats, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Spike stood around them.

"So where are you from?" Lyra asked.

"I'm from Canterlot, I actually used to go to the same school as you when I was little." he said, inspecting Lyra closely.

She gasped, "Oh, my gosh!"  She looked at his glowing horn.  "You're that one pony who was always getting sent to the nurse because of magical exhaustion...  If you're not careful you'll end up in a hospital." she said worriedly.

Bon Bon looked at Written Paradox jealously and said, "What could be so important that you're constantly using your magic?"

He looked around at the curious ponies, all of whom that were in earshot had now turned their full attention to him.  "Well, I'm a writer, I'm writing a book as we speak." he said nervously.

"So... are you writing about everything we're saying right now?" Rainbow asked with a disconcerted expression.

Written Paradox sighed, this was everypony's reaction.  "No, I'm able to do whatever I want as I write, the book doesn't even need to be within five miles of where I am." he said, looking down at the table, he felt it was something to be ashamed about.

"But, that's not possible." Twilight Sparkle said, confused.  "Even I can't do that!"

"I honestly don't know how I do it either, I just come up with an idea and count the pages of the book I'm writing in and the quill goes off on it's own and once it starts it doesn't stop until the book is full." he said uncertainly.  He was afraid that they were going to react the same as everypony else he said this to.

"Wow, that's amazing!" shouted Pinkie.

Everypony voiced their agreement to the pink pony's statement.  Written Paradox looked up and saw them all looking at him in awe and was shocked.  Everypony he had told had shunned him for this, but they accepted him.  He was so happy, he beamed at them all and realized just how joyful his surroundings were, he joined in the party and had fun with everypony.

On his way home that night, he looked up at the shining full moon.  'Thank you Luna and thank you Celestia, for sending me to a place where I'm accepted and have friends.' he thought as he smiled and a tear fell from his eye.