Lazy Bones

~1: A Well Deserved Break~

“Hey Twilight, you in there?”

Twilight Sparkle snapped out of her trance and snapped her head around to see who was talking to her. The little purple dragon stood with his arms folded, a concerned look on his face.

“Oh Spike, yeah I’m fine,” she confirmed before staring back out at the vast ocean beneath them.

“Twilight, the whole point of a vacation is that you take time to relax,” Spike reminded her, “instead of worrying about every little thing like if you forgot to pack your telescope or some equally trivial thing.”

“It’s not that Spike it’s just…” she began before her heart missed a beat, “wait, we didn’t forget the telescope did we?”

Spike buried his face in his claws and sighed, “No we didn’t forget it, and I’m not doing this with you, just relax.”

With that Spike turned and walked across the deck to wear Rarity stood giving ‘come hither’ looks to other passengers and flicking her head so her perfectly styled mane caught the light.

Twilight tapped her hoof impatiently trying to occupy her mind, but it was no good. So she set about seeking a distraction from her thoughts. Walking the in the opposite direction of Spike eyeballing Rarity she arrived in time to catch the tail end of Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s argument.

“Ah didn’t say air travel didn’t work,” Applejack insisted, “ah just said, I trust mah own four hooves more.”

“Says the cowgirl standing on an airship,” Rainbow Dash retorted.

“And until ah learn ta walk on water ah’ll keep standin’ on it,” Applejack suddenly noticed Twilight approaching and calmed down noticeable, “hey there sugarcube, you still frettin’ about that nice wizard in Canterlot?”

“No, I know he’ll be fine,” Twilight said hurriedly, though she knew she was just trying to convince herself… and she wasn’t succeeding.

“Well maybe to take your mind off of it, you could educate AJ on the merits of air travel,” Dash proposed causing Applejack to roll her eyes.

“No I think you’ve got that covered,” Twilight said, suppressing a giggle at Applejack’s annoyance, “any thoughts about all this?”

“What about it Hun?” Applejack asked unsure, “ah know ah wasn’t mighty pleased leavin’ the farm, but ah guess the princess is right and all.”

“Yeah, we deserve a break,” Dash cut in, “after all how many ponies can claim they single hoofedly saved all of Equestria.”

“Single hoofedly?” Applejack questioned raising an eyebrow, Dash didn’t push the subject.

“I still think we should have gone to Las Pegasus though,” she continued, “you don’t know a good time till you’ve hit the clubs there.”

“Sorry Rainbow but you the cloud walking spell is temporary,” Twilight explained apologetically, “and I wouldn’t have it in me to keep casting it.”

“I know, I know,” Dash groaned, not sounding any happier about it. Twilight however brightened slightly.

“But think about where we’re going,” she began excitedly, “we’re not just travelling to the other end of Equestria; we’re going to an entirely new continent.”

“That will be pretty cool I guess,” Dash admitted, “but we’re still staying in some backwater town.”

“Backwater town!” Applejack exclaimed, “Do yah have any idea how much heritage we got in this place?”

“Applejack, I had no idea you were so proud of Equestria’s roots,” Twilight said astounded.

“Course ah am Twi, growin up we heard plentay of stories about the three tribes.”

“So this Hamlet,” Rainbow Dash began, “what makes it so special?”

“It was town established as the result of a treaty between the three tribes some time before the discovery of Equestria,” Twilight explained, “it was the first major attempt to merge all three societies and have members of all tribes living side by side.”

“Trust an egghead like you to know all that, but you AJ?” Dash exclaimed.

“You should be more proud of your roots,” Applejack challenged.

“Hey I have plenty of pride,” Dash argued back.

“Ah couldn’t agree with yah more,” Applejack murmured forcing Twilight to stifle another giggle.

“Hey everypony, come quick!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie from the edge of the deck, who was bouncing excitedly.

Twilight, Dash and Applejack walked over where they were joined by Spike, Rarity and Fluttershy. Together they all looked across the lapping waves to what Pinkie had seen. Just peeking above the horizon, was a small sliver of shoreline, and as the seven friends looked on in awe at the land of their ancestors, the airship began its descent.

~

Twilight turned the key of the empty house, and the heavy wooden door swung open allowing its seven new occupants to enter. The journey to Hamlet had taken the whole night, and so it was early morning by the time they finally arrived at the building adjacent to the town square that would serve as their home away from home for the next month. No sooner had Twilight opened the door, than she was sent flying by Dash and Pinkie who rushed in ahead of the rest to call dibs on the rooms. Leaving her luggage in the entrance hall Twilight began to ascend the stairs, all the while examining the impressive house around her.

The princess hadn’t spared any expense at obtaining this house that was for sure, everything from the walls to the furniture was expertly crafted. The manor was comprised of three floors, the ground floor holding the usual rooms like the kitchen and the lounge, the second floor was almost entirely comprised of bedrooms and en suites, and the last floor was simply an attic bedroom and study, which without having to discuss it, had been assigned as Twilight’s bedroom. As soon as they were all settled in they assembled in the dining room to discuss the day ahead of them.

“You do what you want,” Spike said grumpily, “but I’m gonna take a nap, I barely got any sleep on that carriage ride it was so bumpy.”

“Of course Spike, you are a baby dragon after all,” Twilight said reminding herself.

“well I for one would quite like to take a walk through the town, perhaps do a little shopping,” Rarity announced, “you girls are of course welcome to join me.”

“That sounds nice,” Fluttershy said quietly and Twilight nodded in agreement.

“That sounds good an all, but not really mah thing,” Applejack said scratching her head awkwardly.

“That’s okay you can hang with Dashie and me,” Pinkie chipped in.

“Sorry Pinkie,” Dash said with a yawn, “I’m with Spike on this one, I think I’m gonna try and catch a few zees.”

“Okie dokie loki, guess it’s just you and me Applejack.” Applejack didn’t look thrilled.

“Alright everypony, we’ll meet back hear at five and we’ll all head out for dinner,” Twilight announced and was met with murmurs of agreement.

~

“It does look wonderful Rarity, but let’s save something for another day, we’re here for a month remember.” Rarity turned away reluctantly from the doors of the spa and together she, Twilight and Fluttershy continued down the street, the latter carrying Rarity’s shopping bags in her mouth.

“Now that I can’t wait for,” she said brightening up, “and we simply must revisit that crafts shop, I have a funny feeling that shop assistant doesn’t know the value of the fabric she’s selling and we’ll very soon see it in a reduced to clear section.”

Fluttershy mumbled something but neither of them could make it out through the shopping bags in her mouth.

“What was that dear?” Rarity asked oblivious to the problem. Fluttershy adjusted the bags to one side of her mouth so she could talk.

“I said…” what she said they’d never know, because at the point they rounded a corner and Fluttershy walked headlong into an approaching guards pony. She screamed as she fell to the ground, the shopping bags spilling everywhere causing Rarity to scream even louder. Twilight barely had time to react, and when she did, all she could do was help Fluttershy back onto her hooves.

“Oh I’m so sorry…” she began sounding terrified, but the unicorn she had collided with cut across her.

“No, no, it’s my fault, I should have looked where I was going,” he said gathering the fallen bags with a blue aura; he then looked up and met the eyes of the three mares. “Twilight Sparkle?”

Rarity and Fluttershy froze looking over to Twilight who was completely still for a second trying to remember who this was, and then it dawned on her.

“Iron Heart!” she exclaimed.

“Wow it’s been a long time,” he said in disbelief.

“Yeah, look at you,” Twilight said noticing his slate grey armour, “I didn’t even know you had been transferred.”

“Yeah a few years now,” he said, Twilight felt a pang of guilt for not knowing that, “how’s Shinning doing? I haven’t seen him since the wedding.”

“You were at the wedding?” Twilight asked surprised.

“Yeah, but I suppose you wouldn’t have had time to check the guest list, what with saving the day and all,” he said laughing, Twilight joined in before she felt herself being gently nudged in the ribs and turned to see Rarity staring expectantly.

“Oh of course, Iron Heart these are my friends Rarity and Fluttershy, we’re staying in Hamlet for a while,” she explained, “and girls this is Iron Heart, he was a friend of my brothers in the Royal guard.”

There was a quick exchange of greetings before Iron Heart remembered he was on duty.

“Sorry again about walking into you,” he said to Fluttershy who was about to dismiss it, “here’s your bags back anyway.”

Rarity took them gratefully in her own magical aura before Iron Heart turned back to Twilight, “sorry I gotta go but duty calls and all that, but it was nice seeing you again, and if you guys are in Hamlet for a while I wouldn’t mind getting together some time to catch up.”

“I’d like that,” Twilight said simply, and with one last friendly nod Iron Heart continued on his patrol. Twilight turned back to the other two who both had strange looks on their faces. Rarity’s was excited and suggestive while Fluttershy… was harder to read.

“Well, well, well,” Rarity said nudging up against Twilight, “he seemed nice.”

“Don’t get any ideas,” Twilight said, “we’re just old friends.”

“Of course dear and I’m sure that how he sees it as well,” Rarity said slyly, “though he might get the wrong impression considering how much you were blushing during that conversation.”

“W… what,” Twilight spluttered staring at her reflection in a shop window, her cheeks were very pink. Rarity was giggling to herself; Twilight just snorted and continued walking with the other two trailing behind. In a vain attempt to change the subject Twilight addressed Fluttershy, “what were you saying before all that?”

But Fluttershy didn’t answer her; in fact Fluttershy looked like she was miles away.

~

Applejack and Pinkie left the bakery after having noticed the time and began walking back towards the house.

“Wow that was delicious!” Pinkie exclaimed bouncing happily, “and I know bakers are friendly but wow! Mr  Cookie has to be one of the nicest ponies I’ve ever met, and I’ve met a lot of ponies…”

Applejack simply nodded as Pinkie continued in her tangent, the day had been fun and the ponies were indeed nice, but they weren’t used to Pinkie and she was scaring them off without even knowing it.

“I wonder if he’ll let me throw him a party to officially announce us becoming the bestest of…” but she came to a screeching halt and gasped, seemingly horrified with something.

“Something wrong sugarcube?” Applejack asked warily.

“Yes there most certainly is something wrong,” the words came tumbling out of Pinkie’s mouth, “I was friends with everypony and I mean everypony back in Ponyville, but we don’t know anypony here, which means I have to become friends with all of them in just one month.”

“Beg your pardon,” Applejack said, completely oblivious to half the things Pinkie had said she was talking so fast.

But it was too late, Pinkie had already sped off down the street and Applejack turned to see her running towards the only pony in sight, a gruff looking stallion carrying some kind of porcelain ornament on his back. Too late did Applejack realise what was going to happen and she pulled her hat down over her eyes and cringed as she heard something shatter.

“Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s your…”

“What the…” the stallion bellowed, his eyes wide with fury, he was about to open his mouth while stepping menacingly towards Pinkie before Applejack chose that moment to intervene.

“Whoa there pardner,” she said quickly stepping between the two of them.

“This bitch just destroyed my hard work!” he yelled into Applejack’s face.

“And ah’m real sorry bout that, but she didn’t know any better, so hear…” she reached back and fished out a mouthful of bits and handed them over to the stallion, “ah hope that can cover it.”

The stallion seemed pacified, and calming down slightly he accepted the bits, “at least one of you has some manners.”

With that he turned and walked away, still muttering under his breath.

“Pinkie, what were you thinking?” Applejack asked slowly, like she was addressing a filly.

“Oh Applejack I’m so sorry I just got excited, you didn’t have to give him your bits,” Pinkie said looking hurt.

“Don’t worry bout the money,” Applejack assured her, “what ah mean is you coulda gotten hurt.”

“Oh AJ I’m sure he wouldn’t hit a girl no matter how angry he was,” Pinkie stated, but Applejack shook her head.

“Trust me Pinkie, ah know his type, they’re just lookin for an excuse to lash out, don’t matter who’s on the other end,” Applejack explained, “places like Appleloosa and Dodge are full of em, guess ah just know how to spot em better than you.”

Pinkie looked like she was going to continue talking but Applejack just cut her off, and silently they started walking back to the house. It only took the five minutes to reach the town square where they saw the other five gathered outside the front door of the house.

“Hey Pink, you alright?” Dash asked noticing her sullen expression.

“I’m fine Dashie,” she said at a manageable attempt at her usual cheery self. Dash looked at Applejack who just shook her head before addressing Twilight.

“So where we headin?”

“We passed this nice looking place on the way back here; you don’t mind a fancy atmosphere do you?” Twilight asked sounding unsure.

“Not at all,” Applejack said straightening her hat as the party began to walk.

“Yes a restaurant, should be nice,” Rarity said, but Applejack could tell from her voice she had something on her mind, something which she found greatly amusing at Twilight’s expense judging by the look on her face. “Perhaps some other evening we can have a nice home cooked meal, if one of us were to become better acquainted with certain locals.”

“What do you…” Dash began, but was cut off by Twilight picking up her pace and Rarity trying to hold in a laugh

~

The meal passed by without incident, thank Celestia, and the seven were now sitting around there table exchanging stories of their day.

“Rarity please just drop it for five minutes,” Twilight begged in a low whisper so the others at the table wouldn’t hear.

“I don’t see why you’re getting so touchy about it dear,” Rarity said sounding genuinely bewildered.

“I don’t see why you’re so interested,” Twilight snapped back causing both her and Rarity to jump in surprise. “Oh Rarity I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“No it’s quite alright,” Rarity assured her taking a sip from her glass, “I crossed a line, and I’m sorry.”

“Pinkie, is that your stomach?” Fluttershy enquired tentatively.

“Yup! I’m starving,” Pinkie announced.

“But you just ate,” Fluttershy reasoned, “and you had the most out of all of us.”

“Huh, weird, I also ate loads when AJ and I were at the bakery earlier,” this seemed to bother Pinkie for a while before she shrugged it off, “oh well; I’m going to see what’s on the dessert menu.”

“Oh yeah,” Dash exclaimed drawing all their attention, “how much do you want to bet on it cowgirl?”

“Ah aint bettin nothing with you,” Applejack said meeting Dash’s stare.

“That’s just because you know you’re wrong,” Dash said looking at her reflection in the back of a spoon.

“Fine then, fifty bits!” Dash dropped the spoon at this, “what? A little out of your budget?”

“No, fifty bits sounds perfect,” Dash responded, returning to glaring at Applejack.

Immediately they both spat into their hooves and bumped on it. Rarity dropped her glass in disbelief while Twilight groaned and tried to hide under her napkin. The two then began fishing into their saddle bags, each counting out their bits.

“Hey Rare, you mind holding onto these for us?” Applejack asked Rarity.

“Why can’t you hold onto your own money?” Rarity asked still not wanting to look up for fear somepony else was watching them.

“Ah don’t want her spendin mah fifty bits,” Applejack stated, getting a snort in response from Rainbow Dash.

“Fine just stop making a scene the both of you,” Rarity demanded, “I’d like to come back here sometime during our stay here.”

They both passed their money across which Rarity stored in her own saddlebag.

“Um excuse me, but, what are you even betting on?” asked Fluttershy, speaking up for the first time since Pinkie had left the table.

“Applejack thinks that when we get back to Ponyville some big disaster will have happened while we were gone,” Dash explained, “whereas I know it’ll be some huge disaster that affects all of Equestria.”

“But what if there’s no disaster at all?” Twilight asked, she wasn’t sure why she expected it to be anything less trivial than that.

“Like that’ll happen!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash said in unison. They looked like they were about to get at each other’s throats again, but at that moment Pinkie returned to the table carrying a huge platter of desserts.

“Wow Pinkie those look delicious,” Twilight said as she looked at the plate trying to decide which one she wanted.

“Doesn’t it just,” Pinkie said delighted, “you should also ask for everything when you order your dessert.”

Twilight had been about to reach forward to take something, but stopped dead at what Pinkie said. She knew Pinkie didn’t realise she’d given a false impression to the others by carrying multiple dessert down to the table, but still… she couldn’t help but feel, somewhat, bitter.

~

Upon their arrival back at the house, Twilight floated Spike up the stairs and placed him in the cot in the attic that was acting as his bed for the trip. Strange, even after sleeping all day he still fell asleep at the restaurant, he didn’t even finish his own meal which was unlike him. But Twilight figured it was just fatigued from all the travelling, he’d be feeling better in the morning. In the mean while Twilight busied herself by unpacking the rest of her belongings, filling the shelves with all the reading material she thought she might need, and as she looked at the room, filled with book, she knew… it wouldn’t be enough.

Rarity weighed the bag of bits she’d received from Applejack and Rainbow Dash in her hoof. It was just like them to put so much money on something so juvenile. Opening her bedside cabinet she placed the pouch inside, one thing was for sure, she didn’t want to be the one responsible for losing either of their money let alone both of them. With that out of the way she entered her bathroom and began her evening rituals before to bed, after all beauty sleep doesn’t just happen, it takes years of practice and a great amount of effort.

Rainbow Dash sucked in her gut as she observed herself in the full length mirror; she liked what she saw, everything from her flowing mane to her delicately preened feathers. She stretched her wings briefly, it was a shame she hadn’t gotten out to do any flying today, but she would definitely do it tomorrow, after all, who was she to deny the good ponies of Hamlet the honour of watching the greatest flyer in Equestria do her stuff. Grinning one last time at her reflection she turned and collapsed onto her bed, and was out like bulb in minutes.

Fluttershy stood in the bath tub fiddling with the shower dials, the one in her room hadn’t been working so she was instead using the downstairs one. After half an hour, twenty minutes of which had been spent trying to figure out how to change the temperature of the water, she finally turned it all off and stood in the tub briefly and let the water drain off her. She sighed contently, about to shake herself off and step out from behind the curtain, when she heard the door open and hooves marching through the bathroom.

She had been so surprised she hadn’t even thought to alert whoever it was to her presence, and now that she hadn’t down so immediately she began to feel about doing so.

“Buckin toilets, I swear if this one aint workin.” It was Applejack, and she didn’t sound happy, which made Fluttershy even less keen on making herself known. Trying to hold as still as possible she glanced at the shower curtain keeping her hidden, it was only translucent so she could see Applejack silhouette walking across the room towards the toilet. Then to her shock she saw Applejack mount the toilet seat clearly through a gap in the curtains.

She quickly glanced away, adjusting herself so she couldn’t see Applejack through the gap. But then as she began to hear the unmistakable sound of liquid slashing into the toilet she found herself inexorably drawn to looking back through the gap. It was strange she had that same racing sensation in her chest, the one she’d felt earlier that day when they met Twilight’s guard friend. Tentatively she moved her head so that she once again able to see Applejack through the gap in the curtain.

While ponies didn’t usually wear clothes it was just common courtesy not to go out of your way to looking where you shouldn’t, but in this case Fluttershy couldn’t help herself from straining her neck to get a better look. She felt her wings perk up behind her, but Applejack’s leg was still in the way, if she could just get a little… then she felt her hoof slip beneath her, she squealed as she went tumbling headfirst through the shower curtain, and fell sprawled in the middle of the bathroom floor.

“What in Tarnation!” Applejack exclaimed leaping off the toilet, then Fluttershy managed to pull the curtain off her head and she met Applejack’s gaze. “Fluttershy! What in the hay are you doing?!”

“I… I…” she stammered, what had she been doing? She looked again at Applejack who was staring at her with unmistakable fury. Fluttershy began to tear up and before anything else could be said, she sprinted from the room, hurrying for her bedroom and hiding herself under the sheets.

Applejack stormed upstairs, her first thought had been to confront Fluttershy, but then she decided she didn’t want to hear what she had to say. She was furious, disgusted. As she entered her own room she slammed the door behind her and lashed out at a wardrobe. Her years of bucking apple trees made it all too easy, and all too unsatisfying. The door of the wardrobe shattered in half, buckling into itself, but still she was angry. Trotting up to the vanity she drove a hoof into the mirror, causing it to shatter. At last she was beginning to feel satisfaction from her destruction, but as she stared at her fragmented reflection, she also began to feel regret.

Pinkie could swear she heard shouting and breaking from the other rooms in the house, but that was ridiculous, her friends wouldn’t do that. Maybe the house was haunted, and these were violent spirits that only Pinkie could hear. The thought made her feel excited, and a little bit hungry. She sat up in bed and stared at the clock, only eleven O’clock. It hadn’t been three hours since she finished gobbling up all those desserts, but here she was, unmistakably hungry. After a gruelling ten minutes she finally accepted she couldn’t get to sleep without eating something, so pulling herself from bed she ambled quietly down the stairs to the kitchen. They hadn’t had time to go grocery shopping properly, but inside the fridge were the provisions they made themselves before leaving Ponyville. She’d eaten all hers on the trip over here, but the others still had some.

She reached out before hesitating briefly, it wasn’t right to steal her friend's food. But on the other hoof she knew they would let her eat just a little of it if she asked, but since they were all probably asleep, it would be rude for her to wake them up just for that. No she knew she would be allowed, that was enough for her. Reaching out again she lifted out a box labelled ‘RD’. Inside were sandwiches and crisps. Just a nibble to stave off hunger so she could sleep… and hour later she climbed the stairs again, collapsing into bed and passing out, the fridge was picked clean.