Once upon a time, there were six princesses. Or queens, I suppose, considering that there wasn’t any kings or queens above them. Unless you count Celestia and Luna, but they are princesses in title. Why aren’t they queens? Celestia in particular has a wonderful, regal look that-
Sis!
Right, right. Sorry. As I was saying, there were six princesses. While at first they barely liked each other, or worse, barely knew each other, through several trials of fire they became the best of friends. Not one of them would let a friend down if they can help it. Any of them would lay their lives down for the others. But these six princesses were the greatest heroes in the land, and thus made many enemies. Three of these enemies, the corrupted princess Lunar Nightmare, the wicked trickster Chaos, the evil changeling Queen Metamorphis, and the greedy King Melodrambra joined forces to defeat the princesses. In fact, they didn’t just join forces, they, er, became one! Yes, they fused together to become NightmareMetaMeloChaos!
NightmareMetaMeloChaos, sis? Really?
Too much? Forgive me, Sweetie Belle, I was getting into the storytelling mood. It was a bit overboard, wasn’t it? Let’s just stick to one villain. Chaos, the embodiment of, well, chaos had returned to his villainous ways, and had gained the services of many hoodlums, the bad sides of pony, griffin, and diamond dog societies.
He sent a squad of unicorns, the leader of the squadron an arrogant illusionist who could never resist the call for profit or glory for long known as Lulamoon, to capture Dawn Twinkle, the magical scholar princess. Lulamoon created an illusion outside of the scholar’s window, an illusion that showed one of her friends in deadly danger. Dawn, being the wonderful, devoted friend she was, rushed to help, only to be ambushed and captured. For Thunder Flash, the athletic flyer princess, he sent a group of griffons, led by Flash’s ex-friend Ghasta, after her, and even her speed and finesse in the air could not defeat sheer numbers coupled along with Ghasta’s knowledge of her tactics. Applecider, the farmer princess, was captured thanks to the machines of his dastardly engineers, Trick and Treat. Butterbye, the kind animal caretaker princess, was captured due to the charismatic Steel Courage lying about a meeting and leading her straight into a trap. Candi Tye, the party princess, was lured away by chocolate clouds and imprisoned by the leader himself, Chaos.
Totally original names, sis. I can tell these characters are completely original and not influenced by real life ponies at all!
When did you learn so much sarcasm? You must be hanging around Scootaloo too much. Now hush, or you won’t get any story at all. Now where was I? Ah, yes. The last princess, the beautiful, generous, fabulous, amazing, beautiful, jaw-dropping-
Rarity! I hear enough of you complimenting yourself when you hog up the bathroom in the mornings!
Fine, fine. Fillies, no patience for the important details that make a story. And besides, I’m not speaking of myself. I’m speaking of the dressmaker princess Elusive, who was too captured on one of her searches for gems, by a vicious gang of Diamond Dogs. But by her sheer wit and subtlety-
And by that you mean a lot of whining.
-and maybe a little whining, she escaped her captors, and even got some info out of them. They told her each of her friends were captured and held in the evil secret castle of Chaos. Her friends were held on the top level of the castle, where Chaos himself lied in wait, and each level before him was guarded by one of his lieutenants. After getting the location out of them, Elusive grabbed her Component of Order, the princesses’ greatest weapons, from her home and set out to the castle. The travel was boring, and rife with dirt and grime and ew, so let me skip to the good part.
She had barely opened the door before being surrounded by illusions of her dear friend Dawn. A cruel laugh rang out of the Dawn. “Do you really think you can save anypony? You, the selfish, arrogant dressmaker? I have my magic, Flash has her speed, AC has her strength, Butterbye has her Stare, and Candi’s, well, Candi! What can you hope to do? You should just go home and faint on your couch! That’s all you’re good for!”
Aw, don’t listen to her sis, you’re-
Ha! Relax Sweetie Belle, we both know I have the most healthy ego in Equestria. Er, I mean, Elusive has the most healthy ego in Eques- er, I mean... all of the land? Anyway, Elusive stared into the eyes of the fake Dawn and replied, “I may not have the power or speed of Flash, Dawn, and AC. Nor do I have the talents of Candi and Butterbye. But I do have one thing. Love. Love for all my friends. I know Dawn far too well to ever waste a second thinking she’d say such things. Now begone, lest you face my whining!” Luckily, her whining was not needed, for her strength of mind and trust in her friends broke the illusion, and showed her that the despicable villain Lulamoon was before her.
Thank goodness.
“So you beat my illusion. No matter. The Grand and Formidable Lulamoon is far too grand and formidable to be defeated by the likes-” she did not get to finish her sentence, due to being punched out by our heroine. Lulamoon’s strength lies in deceit, and in a more physical confrontation, she is weak. And Elusive knows how to punch a mare down if she needs to. With her fallen, Elusive proceeded up the stairs to face her next foe.
When she reached the second floor, she saw the towering form of the minotaur Steel Courage before her. “So, you got past the weakling Lulamoon? No matter. Steel Courage does not seek to hurt the fair unicorn before him. But doubt is lame, be certain and up your game!” he bellowed into the sky. But Elusive saw in his eyes the slightest bit of regret and doubt.
“Before you defeat me, because it’s obvious I could not beat you in a physical contest, may I just ask you one thing?”
“When you’re the absolute best, be merciful and grant your opponent one last request. What is your question?”
“Why do you fight for that horrible ruffian Chaos?”
“Because...” A pause. “Because,” he began again, subdued, “Steel Courage has no other choice. Steel Courage is a monster. When you’re a beast, you join the least,” he said with a sigh.
Elusive gasped. “Darling, it’s not your appearance that makes you a monster! It’s what lies within and what your actions are! And I believe there’s someone great inside you!”
“If there is, it is only because Steel Courage ate him.”
“No no no no! You can do so much more with your life than this!”
“Like what?”
“Like- like becoming a motivational speaker! A minotaur who people expect to be bad resists stereotypes and peer pressure, becomes good, and inspires people to be their best as well! You’ve already got the rhyming chops for it, my dear!”
“You’re right! Steel Courage would be fantastic in such a role! Steel Courage- no, I thank you for believing in me and giving me such a chance.” He stooped down on one knee and kissed Elusive’s hoof. She giggled and blushed.
D’awwwww!
“Now, Steel Courage shall repay the favor. He will keep watch here, and prevent anyone from coming after you.”
“Thank you, darling!” Elusive exclaimed as she ran to the steps. The third floor seemed mysteriously empty. That changed in an instant as a sudden blur descended from above and cut her leg. She yelped in pain. The wicked snickers of Ghasta rang through the room. She levitated before Elusive, her arms crossed smugly.
“Great, another of Flash’s dweeb friends. Man, you have to be real lucky to get past Lula and SC like that. But you won’t be getting past me. I’m just too-” she flew down, cut Elusive’s other hoof, and was back in her previous position all in a matter of seconds. “Fast for ya,” she finished with a smirk.
“Why do you fight, Ghasta?”
“Oh no, you’re not pulling off that redemption crud on me! I fight because Flash decided to leave me alone at Flight School and take on the bullies by myself while she was living it up with you guys, her new best friends!”
“But Gilda, you can’t just expect Dash to revolve her life around you! Flash wanted you back in her life, and you know that. But you were too jealous and angry that Flash had found some other ponies to lean on except you. So don’t play the ‘woe is me, Flash isn’t my friend anymore, she left me all alone waaah’ card. Because it wasn’t loneliness that drove you to this, Ghasta. It was about not having Flash rely on you for self validation. It was about not being the sole light of good in her life. And above all else, it’s because, quite frankly, you’re a bad griffon and have always been a bad griffon.”
You tell her, sis!
Ghasta exploded with rage, as she is so very prone to do, shrieking at the sky, and she flew at Elusive for another attack. But Elusive was ready this time, her speech giving her the time to concoct a plan. She quickly put up a magical shield around herself. She knew those lessons with Dawn were a good idea. That shield’s strength, coupled with Ghasta’s speed, knocked Ghasta out. She started for the stairs, but looked back at Ghasta and sighed. “I do hope you redeem yourself. Flash misses you so terribly and I hate her in pain.” Then she was back racing to the next floor, only to be caught in a mechanical cage that sprung up from the floors as soon as she stepped onto a tile. Trick and Treat sarcastically clapped as they sat on their mechanical cider making vehicle. She took notice of the button Trick held in his hooves, for that surely must be what launched the trap.
“Why look here, brother of mine, this mare has gotten past three of our compatriots, despite not being the sharpest knife in the drawer,” said Trick.
“Oh yes, her lack of intelligence is obvious. Didn’t bother checking the floor for traps. Isn’t that one of the first rules of heroism?” asked Treat.
“We wouldn’t know, Trick, considering we’ve never been good!” They laughed wickedly together.
“Why do you two fight?” Elusive asked. “Surely two ingenious engineers like yourself could make some profitable business?” she implored, putting on the charm.
“Because it’s fun,” they both answered at once. “Because not caring about anypony’s welfare but our own is such freedom!” explained Trick.
“And don’t forget the tantalizing despair and sadness in their eyes!” enthused Treat.
“Oh yes, how could I forget!” Treat exclaimed, the two laughing once again.
Elusive theatrically sighed. “Well, I am trapped in this cage, and you two are irredeemable. Can I just ask one thing?”
“Sure.”
“Why not?”
“How do you get that machine of yours working?” She pointed at the machine they were sitting on.
“Oh, it is far too complex to explain to an airhead like you,” derided Trick.
“But we can put it into some simple terms,” decided Treat. “There are gears inside this machine, that turn and grind to create motion and generate steam and gas.”
“And those tubes there?”
“Those are what create our delicious, one of a kind, scrumptilicious cider! We just shoot those tubes with our magic and viola!” Trick pitched.
“They are a hit at our villain parties!”
“That they are, Treat! Do we have the apples stocked for our victory party tonight?”
“Of course!”
“Excellent,” began Elusive. “I hope for your sake it’s tasty.” She unloaded all her magic into those tubes, causing a great flood of cider to engulf them. As they slid down the machines and down the stairs, where Steel Courage would surely be waiting, the button fell out of Trick’s hoof and onto the floor, luckily falling on its red trigger and releasing her. She took a moment to compose herself from that drain of magic.
“I may be an airhead, but at least my head isn’t filled with cider like those two’s are!” There was a dreadful, awkward silence. “That was awful. Note to self, leave one liners to the others.”
I was about to say.
She finally made it to the last floor, where the others were restrained by metal chairs, horns and wings both restrained to prevent any escape. There was this strange contraption on each of their heads, with wires that led to a machine almost overflowing with magic. The five of them looked so tired and weak, bags under their eyes, and the Components adorned their necks.
“Girls!” she yelled in worry.
“Elusive, look out!” they yelled back. She turned to see the mastermind behind it all, the draconequus known as Chaos.
“Ah, goodie, you’ve finally arrived. Now I can complete my collection! I knew I shouldn’t have left kidnapping you to those dogs. Momma always said not to trust creatures that smelt like tuna. Ah well.” Elusive tried shooting a magic bolt at him, but it only caused her head to hurt. You see, she had used up too much of her magic against Trick and Treat. She needed time to recharge that magic. Time that she did not have.
He chuckled as he lifted her up with his magic. “Tell me, what did you plan to do against me? I am way out of your league, you foolish mare! I’m sure you’re wondering what this machine is, hm? Trick and Treat whipped it up. It’s sucking the magic of the Components out of these poor ponies. I couldn’t capture just the ponies or just the Components. It is when they are together that they generate the most magic. When all that magic is extracted, I shall sit on one of those chairs you see your friends on and transfer all that magic to me. I’ll be unstoppable! Nopony will be able to stop me!” He let out another evil laugh. “Your friends are almost drained, but you have plenty of your Component left. And you brought it with you! How considerate. Let’s get you strapped in, eh? Keep your hooves in the ride at all times!” Another dreadful laugh. It seemed like the end. Elusive braced herself, but then came a white blur, cutting Chaos and distracting him enough to drop her. She saw Chaos turn to face Ghasta, and decided to use the distraction to make way to the machine.
“Ghasta! You- wait for it- birdbrain!” He magically summoned some drums and made the necessary sound. “What are you doing?”
“What can I say?” she said with a shrug. “She pulled that redemption crud on me. I figure its time I start being a true friend to Flash and the others.” She winked at Dash, who weakly smirked back.
“No matter, you are no match for me.” He enveloped her with his magic. “This is just like you, Ghasta. All muscle and no brain. You once again rushed in without a plan and did not think of how my magic could easily defeat you.”
“Actually, I learned a lot from you, Cha.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“I’ve got a friend coming up here, and he’s got a surprise for you.”
“I mean, really, Cha? That’s not intimidating at al-what?”
Just as she spoke, Trick’s and Treat’s machine rushed into the room, maneuvered by Steel Courage. “When you finally quit, let the boss take the hit!” He jumped out and let the machine crash into Chaos, pinning him to the wall. He was disoriented for a moment, before exploding with magical rage, sending the contraption flying.
“Enough! You idiotic, short sighted, annoying little ants! I am a god! You are a bunch of punks I picked up because I was too lazy to do the small jobs! I will send you to Tartarus and visit monthly so I can laugh at your pain! Then I will engulf your precious friends and home in chaos, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!”
“Nothing, Chaos?” Elusive asked. He turned and his eyes widened as he saw her hoof on the machine’s lever. “How about some harmony?” she pulled the lever to reverse, and the magic went flowing back into her friends.
I thought you were done with the one liners.
You shush.
“Nooooooo! Why do we even have that lever?”
With the power of the Components, her five friends burst out of their prisons, and levitated into the air. Elusive followed, and with their combined Components they sent Chaos back into his stone state.
“Turning me into rock again?” He began as the magic consumed his body. “You ponies have hearts of stone! Attatattacha!” And so Chaos was back where he belonged. When they descended to the ground, her friends quickly hugged her and showered her with praise.
“Nice thinking, Elusive!”
“It’s only thanks to you that we sent that snake packing!”
“You were all ‘How about some harmony’ and blam! So cool!”
“You rock! Woo hoo!”
“Hearts of stone! Ha! Oh, but you were super amazing Elusive!”
“Thank you, darlings. But I only did what any of you would have done. I came for my friends.” Dawn nervously looked down.
“Elusive, I have something to tell you. I really thought it was the end this time. And I thought about all my friends, about the things I hadn’t done, and about the ponies I love. And- and I love you, Elusive!”
“Hey!” Flash interrupted. “This was supposed to be my confession! Elusive can only be with another radical, gorgeous pony, and that’s me!”
“You?” AC asked, bemused. “Everypony knows Elusive’s in love with me. All that sexual tension and flirting. Erm, at least I was flirting.”
“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt, but, um, I’m kindasortainlovewithElusivetoo! Eep!” Butterbye quickly clammed up again.
“Well this is a container!”
“You mean conundrum, Candi.”
“Right, Dawn! A conuntendrerum!”
“Candi-”
“Because I’m in love with Elusive too!” The five descended into arguments.
Off to the side, Steel Courage and Ghasta were enjoying the show. “Steel Courage believes Butterbye is the best partner for Miss Elusive.”
“What? Nah, man! Totally Flash. AC as runner up.”
“Everypony, be quiet!” Elusive shouted. They all went quiet. “This is, well, obviously a bit of a shock- not a bad one, mind you, but a shock. Give me a moment to compose myself.” And so she thought. She thought of the delightful days when she drank tea with Dawn and discussed high Canterlot society, thought of the magic lessons where Dawn was always so kind and patient. She thought of the spa dates with Butterbye, of how Butterbye was willing to spend the rest of her life doing something she loathed just to make her happy. There was the arguments with AC, so fun, and how she helped her bond with her amazing little sister. Flash had saved her life without a second thought despite Elusive’s selfishness, and they spent many hours snarking at passersby(usually AC) together. And Candi, joyous, wonderful Candi, who she had learned so much about during that trip from Dodge to Ponyville, and who had comforted her in the wake of Butterbye’s outburst. With all that, the answer was obvious.
“I choose all of you. I love you all so much, and anypony could see you all love each other as well. We’re already so close together; let’s take it to the next step.”
The five ponies agreed(and Steel Courage and Ghasta swore to their graves that they did not cry), and so an unconventional but wonderful love was born. The six of them had many troubles and fights, but they never stopped loving each other, and they always made up. And so they all lived happily ever after. The end.
That was an amazing bedtime story, sis.
Thank you, Sweetie Belle.
But... about the ending.
Oh, that! It’s just, erm, every fairy tale ends up with a prince and princess together, but since there was no prince and six princesses, fairytale law dictated all six of them must be together. Simple logic. No ulterior motive at all. Don’t be ridiculous.
C’mon Rarity! I’m not stupid. You really love them all, don’t you?
I... do. It’s a stupid, foolish dream, but I’m in love with five ponies and wish we were all together.
Stupid? Foolish? Who are you and what have you done with my sister Rarity?! The Rarity I know believes in love, and thinks it can overcome anything!
But-but we’d argue so much-
You already do that as friends, and you always make up.
And certainly we would spend more time with some ponies over the others-
Already do that too, but none of you guys doubt that you’re loved. You already spend all of your time together! The only thing that would change is more smoochie time, and those are great! Um, or so I’ve heard.
Sweetie Belle, is there something you’re not telling me?
A-anyway, you should tell them how you feel! If they don’t feel the same way, it’s not like they’ll hate you!
What if they do?
Rarity! You know your friends better than that! If you let your feeling go unsaid, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, wishing you had took a chance and got the ultimate happiness! And you’ll have to listen to me say I told you so all the time!
Of course, you’re right, Sweetie Belle! I must take a chance!
That’s my sis!
Now go to sleep. I promise I’ll tell them in the morning.
Okay.
And dearie?
Hm?
Tell Scootaloo and Apple Bloom not to do any funny business or they will face my awful wrath.
Rarity!
