Sexy Blauwks

by Gauge Runner

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, Comedy
Length: 1266

Joe Nooby and Moderator get transported to Equestria by a strange command code

Nooby, Joe and the Moderator get sen't to Equestria when the Moderator types in a mysterious command code.
How will Joe cope with being in Equestria?, Will the Moderator rain TNT from the sky or will Nooby build a giant fucking penis at the top of Canterlot?. Read to find out!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-03 08:20:01 UTC

PIRATES

“For fuck sakes how much longer!” Yelled joe at the Moderator

“Ah come on Joe you stupid sexy fuck it’s not any longer we’re almost there”

“Yeah Joe you should be excited we get to see something other players can’t!” Yelled Nooby excitement was clear in his voice.

“We just walked over a thousand fucking blocks and all I see is sand deserts shouldn’t stretch out this far!” Yelled and angry Joe

“Well I was told by Kul- I mean the boss that I was supposed to stretch this sand vagina out a couple thousand blocks this fucking desert it almost crashed my Computer” Said Moderator

“Well never mind that you little fucks were here!” Yelled Moderator his voice echoed through the desert.

“All I see is sand” Said Nooby

“Thats what we want players to think” then what happened next confused Nooby and Joe

Stone blocks started forming and started stretching around the desert.

“Okay you made a bunch of stone appear what the fuck is so awesome about that?” Said an annoyed Joe.

“THIS IS WHERE I’M GOING TO DO THE FUCKING CODE!”

Yelled the Moderator

“Well why not just do it at the top of spawn?” Said Nooby

“Well I just wanted to see you guys walk” Said Moderator

Moderator immediately muted Joe after a minute of Joe yelling swears into his mic the Moderator unmuted him.

“Say Mr Moderator where did you find this code that you going to do? Said Nooby

“Oh well I found it in the comments section of one of Jack’sfilm videos” Said Moderator

“Before Joe could yell again Moderator had just hit enter and their screens started wobbling around like when you enter the nether.

“Uhh Mr Moderator what’s going on?” Said Nooby

“I’m not sure what’s happening!” Yelled a nervous Moderator

“Well this isn’t going to end well” Said an annoyed Joe

And the darkness corrupted them

____________________________________

“Uhhh my head” Said Joe he opened his eyes to see a clear blue sky

“What the fuck where did all the clouds go?” Said Joe he lifted his head and looked around him he saw the Moderator’s body a couple meters to the right of him. “Wait a minute” Joe could feel the grass touching his blocky fingers he felt the breeze of the summer wind across his face.

“I’m my minecraft character” Joe said to himself

“Well this is fucking brilliant stuck in the middle of no where!”

“You’r not in the middle of no where your in Equestria

____________________________________

Nooby was starting to arise from his slumber and opened his eyes he saw what looked like stone but not blocky, he raised his head up and looked down at himself he was wearing his Classy Pants.

“I’m my minecraft character hmmm strange I don’t remember passing out in a cell room” He looked and saw there were multiple bars like in a police cell.

“Well I’m bored now I want to go build a giant penis again!”

He took out his pickaxe and broke the bars

There were other cells to but they were all empty.

“HHmmmmm what is the most practical thing to do now?” He thought for a moment before he started digging under himself.

________________________________________________

Now Back To Joe

Joe heard a voice that sounded like it belonged to a little girl he standed up before looking behind him. “Okay who sa-” Joe was cut of when he saw a little pony from what he assumed and it was wearing a red bow on it’s mane.

“Hey there mister what’s yer name?” It said

“My name is Joe and is this a marijuana field?”

“Ah have no idea what a marajuana thing is but yer at Sweet Apple Acres oh and mah name is Applebloom!”

“Uhh Joe is that a pony in front of you?”

_____________________________________________

Back to Nooby

“DIG DIG DIG DIG A MOTHERFUCKING HOLE!” Nooby yelled while digging

Nooby eventually found the way out well not after a twenty meter fall first

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Nooby hit the ground which didn’t hurt that bad

“Ah where the hell am I?” he looked around him all he saw was crystals

________________________________________________________

Celestia

“Princess we urge that you take more guards with you to the dungeon this creature we do not know what it can possibly do!”

“It’s Okay Shining you are the only guard I need to protect me besides do you doubt your skills to protect me?” Celestia said

“No you are right Princess i’m sorry for doubting you” Shining said

“Good anyway what is this new creature like?”

“Well it is bipedal and it has very blocky features and it appeared to have what looked like gold pants on”

Celestia and Shining Armour entered the dungeons they walked over to their prisoners dungeon but were shocked at what they found

“How could it possibly have escaped!” Shining yelled

They both walked into their former prisoners cell they both looked down a very deep hole

“It dug its way out but how is that possible!?”

“Shining did it have any tools or equipment on it?” Said Celestia

“No nothing just some gold pants”

“Shining the crystal caves are under this dungeon I wan’t you to get twenty of your finest guards and go to the crystal caves”

“Yes I shall go get them” Then he dashed off.

_____________________________________________

Back to Joe and Moderator

Joe looked behind him to find the Moderator hovering five meters above ground.

“Oh hey Moderator your awake oh and mine telling me WHERE THE FUCK YOU SENT US!!!” Joe yelled out the last part

“How the fuck am I supposed to know we were supposed to be in my top secret base”

“Applebloom!”

Everyone turned around to see a pony with a Stetson hat charging towards them

"Git AWAY FROM HER YOU MONSTERS!!" She yelled.  "Hey there sis I wan't ya ta meet mah new friends!

Applebloom walked over to Applejack

“OH thank goodness yer safe I hope they didn’t do anything to you” Said a very worried Applejack

“Uhhh hate to interrupt your little reunion but do you mind telling me where I’m at? Said Joe

“Hmmmm you seem trustworthy enough well yur at Sweet apple acres home to the apple family” She said proudly

“Hey did you all forget about me?” Said the Moderator

No one was listening

“Well I didn’t think it would come to this but” Said the Moderator until he yelled one word Joe knew all too well

“PIRATES!!!!!”

________________________________________________________

Back to Nooby

Nooby was now exploring the crystal cave’s and he was singing again

“ELECTRIC AVENUE AND THEN WE TAKE IT HIGHER DA NA NA!”

He stopped singing when he heard what sounded like footsteps if minecraft pvp has taught him anything it was to dig a hole under himself which he did and put the two block’s back in place.

They were right on top of them when they all passed over his little hole he dug himself back up again he thought he was going to see other player’s but what he saw shocked him. There was almost two dozen ponies in front of him, he then screamed

“AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!” all of the guards turned around and saw what they were searching for

The one with the purple armour on yelled

“There it is men block it off so it can’t escape!”

To be continued in the next chapter will Applejack and Applebloom survive the pirate’s loud singing or will Nooby get past the Royal guard. Find out in the next chapter that is if you have enough sanity left.