EWF: Equestrian Wrestling Federation

by cornholio4

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, Comedy
Length: 1831

Discord sets up his own wrestling show!

Discord decides to host a wrestling event for the entertainment of a human audience. What will happen and what special guest stars will apear?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-10 18:50:36 UTC

Match 1: Rainbow Dash V Applejack

Discord is sitting at a desk in an office in a business suit.

“Good evening my friends I am of course the spirit of Chaos & Disharmony Discord” Discord said facing the camera now here it is what I am doing: it has been a while since I was reformed and I have been looking in the human world and discovered this intriguing thing called professional wrestling! The more I learn about it the more I loved the idea! So I decided to arrange this little wrestling event for the entertainment of the Humans! It took a lot of convincing of the Equestrian residents for them to agree on this but oh well! Please enjoy the show and welcome to the EWF: Equestrian Wrestling Federation!!!“

Disclaimer: the following programs contained stunts performed by Equines who have absolutely no idea what they are doing! So if they get hurt or injured please take that as a sign not to try or attempt any stunts you see at home: thank you!

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After the song ended fireworks played at the titantron to the cheering human wrestling fans in the crowd.

At the announce table sitting was Spike the Dragon and Pinkie Pie.

“Welcome and welcome to eewf (Pinkie attempting to say the word EWF) this special sports show Discord put together” said Pinkie Pie cheerily to the cameraman “I am Pinkie Pie here with Spike and we are.......where does it say we are again Spike?”

“It says we are in Madison Square Garden in New York City, wherever that is” Spike said looking at the notes.

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As the music hit at the titantron Discord comes out to loud cheers from the crowd as he uses magic to make cotton candy clouds appear. Fans were holding signs like “Discord for president” or “Discord is best wrestling host!”.

“these wrestlers gets to come out to music, that’s not fair!” whined Pinkie “so here is Discord who made this event happen and it says here he will be the ring announcer while we commentate!”

Discord manages to make a microphone appear in his claw as he faces the crowd.

“Hello I will be your host for tonight’s evening the Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos himself: Discord” the Draconequus said to the cheers of the crowd “and I will also like to say I hope you all enjoy the show and who knows, maybe we will be able to put together another EWF show for you people some other day!”

The crowd cheers at this.

“I also want to state there will be special guest referees for each of our contests tonight” Discord stated “now I doubt any of our pony guests will know who they are but I guess you will! So are you ready for our first fight!”

The crowd cheers at this.

“I can’t hear you!” Discord said as he began clearing out his ears “I want you to shout so loud they can hear you from Mars. I will ask again.............ARE YOU READY!!!!!!”

The crowd then bursted into loud cheers.

“I would be surprised if there was any being that didn’t hear that!” Spike complained covering his ears.

“That’s better and now our first contest is scheduled for one fall and it is between two normally good friends” Discord started “first let me introduce the special guest referee for this first match, from Richmond Virginia he is a former WWE referee now working for TNA, he is ...........EARL HEBNER!!!!!”

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Earl walks down to the ring wearing normal referee attire, he didn’t seem to mind that the entire crowd was heavily booing him and chanting “YOU SCREWED BRETT!!!”. Earl just walks into the ring with a grin on his face.

“Why are these humans booing this referee?” asked Pinkie confused “and who is Brett? Why are they saying this referee screwed him, whatever that means!”

“I am not really sure Pinkie” Spike said shaking his head.

“And now the first competitor” Discord said as Earl’s music stops “she hails from Cloudsdale and is the Element of Loyalty............RAINBOW DASH!!!!”

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The crowd gives a standing ovation as Rainbow Dash flies through the titantron at great speed and lands in the middle of the ring looking cocky.

“I am not sure who to go for since it is two of my bestest friends facing eachother!” Pinkie said looking concerned.

“Try and not pick a side then, Pinkie” Spike shrugged starting to eat from a bucket of gems he brought with him.

When Dash’s music stopped Discord continued “and her opponent coming from Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville, she is the Element of Honesty.............APPLEJACK!!!!”

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The crowd also gives a standing ovation as Applejack comes charging to the ring. Before entering the ring Applejack gives her hat to a young fan.

“And here I thought Rarity was the Element of Generosity” Spike said as Applejack entered the ring and her music stopped.

Discord then rang the bell and the match started. The two friends then charged at something getting into a hoove to hoove brawl.

“It’s like the Running of the Leaves all over again!” Spike noted eating a clawful of gems.

“Not sure who is winning.........wait it seems to be Applejack!” Pinkie said as Applejack manages to get a kick to the face that knocked Dash out. She then climbed up the turnbuckle and went for a splash (a jumping attack from the turnbuckle for you non-wrestling fans).

But before she landed Dash got up and was now using her wings to fly above the ring as Applejack landed on the mat. Applejack calls for Dash to get back down as Earl started counting “one.......two........”

“Good idea Mr Referee, I can show the crowd I can fly around this arena in ten seconds flat!” Dash misreading what Earl was doing as he got to the four count. Dash then began flying around the arena as Earl made it to the eight count.

Rainbow Dash was about to land back in the ring as Earl said “nine.......ten.......that’s it ring the bell!”

Discord then rang the bell as Dash and Applejack looked confused. Discord then said to the booing audience “here is your winner as a result of a knockout Applejack!”

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“What happened?” Pinkie asked confused as Applejack and Rainbow Dash were arguing with Earl.

Spike read his notes and said “it says here that if a competitor is out of the ring the referee has to do a ten count and if the competitor doesn’t get back by the ten count the opponent is declared the winner!”

Earl is standing firm on his decision and Applejack then used her back hooves to kick Earl out of the ring and he lands on the outside of the ring. Applejack and Dash hug as the crowd cheers. The two leave along with a glaring Earl as Discord goes back into the ring with his mic.

“Okay let’s hope the following match-ups don’t end up so anti-climatic” said Discord with the crowd cheering in agreement.

Prince Blueblood V Rarity

In the backstage area there is a green unicorn stallion with glasses and a microphone for a Cutie Mark. He is known as Hot Scoop the chosen backstage interviewer for the show. He is with King Sombra and the Changeling Queen Chrysalis.

“Hot Scoop here with the unholy couple of King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis” said Hot Scoop “these two will tonight be against the royal couple of Princess Cadence and Shining Armour where Discord has decided the throne of the Crystal Empire will be at stake! Can I ask for your thoughts?”

“Me and the Queen are more than happy to work together in this contest as we both will get something we want!” King Sombra said with a smug look on his face “I will be getting MY Crystal Empire back and the Queen will be able to use the so called ‘love’ my subjects have to feed her hive!”

“I shall get my vengeance on the stallion I almost married and that stupid princess I impersonated” Chrysalis said “after we win tonight the Crystal Empire will belong to us!”

They both then left after laughing darkly.

Back to the ring Discord to start the next match said to the crowd “the following contest is scheduled for one fall! First let me introduce the special guest referee for this contest, he is a former WWE Raw General Manager.......ERIC BISCHOFF!!!!!!!!

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Eric Bischoff walks down to the ring in his black suit and the crowd is heavily booing him.

“Looks like the humans are nothing this referee either” Spike noted.

“In this match it’s my good friend Rarity V the jerk prince who was a McMeanie Pants to her at the Grand Galloping Gala, Prince Blueblood!” Pinkie said.

After Eric enters the ring the music stopped and Discord said “first from the Royal Canterlot Palace..............Prince Blueblood!!!!!!”

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The crowd are booing as Blueblood walks down to the ring with his nose up in the air and his eyes closed, probably thinking he is better than these animals.

“I want to attack that snob right now!!!” Spike roared “how dare he treat Rarity like he did!”

“Easy Spike, let Rarity do the fighting for you!” Pinkie said calming Spike down.

After the music stopped Discord introduced his opponent “and his opponent coming from Ponyville she is the Element of Generosity..............RARITY!!!!!!”

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The crowd rapidly cheers as Rarity comes out smiling and waving to the audience.

“Rarity..........” Spike said with a dreamy look on his face.

“I got somepony to root for in this match, go Rarity!” Pinkie cheered.

Discord rang the bell and the match began.

Blueblood starts by just turning his head, as if Rarity wasn’t worthy of his time. Rarity angrily starts slapping his face repeatedly with her hoove.

She then manages to pick Blueblood up and threw him at the turnbuckle. “Ouch!” Spike after witnessing this.

“Who knew Rarity was that strong!” commented Pinkie.

Rarity then began beating onto Prince Blueblood until........

“Wait who are those three coming out to the ring?” asked Pinkie.

“Aren’t those the Diamond Dogs?” asked Spike.

Indeed the Diamond Dogs Fido, Rover & Spot came down into the ring and  got Rarity’s attention as they began attacking her with Eric just watching.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Spike shouted out appalled.

They then left to the outside of the ring leaving Rarity on the canvas, looking beating after her attack. Blueblood then went on Rarity as Eric counted the pin attempt “one......two.........”

“NOO!!!!!!!!!!” Spike shouted.

“........3!”

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“Here is your winner Prince Blueblood!” Discord introduced as Blueblood began celebrating with the three Diamond Dogs with the crowd roaring with boos.

“Looks like Blueblood hired the Diamond Dogs to help him cheat, as he knew he had no chance of beating Rarity!” Pinkie said appalled.

Spike was too angry to say anything.