Ashes and Dust

Chapters

Prologue: The Fall of a Rainbow
Chapter One: Bitter Recognition
Chapter Two: Listen and Learn
Chapter Three: Obstacles and Ventricles
Chapter Four: Finding Some Emotion
Chapter Five: A Reason to Hope
Chapter Six: A Reason to Fight
The Record - Entries One Through Five
Chapter Seven: Relevance
Chapter Eight: Cognitive Evaluation
Chapter Nine: The Ice Cellar
Chapter Ten: A Cold Day
Chapter Eleven: Prisonbreak 101
Chapter Twelve: Wear and Tear
Chapter Thirteen: While You Were Gone

Prologue: The Fall of a Rainbow

Utter darkness. The entirety of the cave’s notable aspects were the ebony shadows and crumbling rocks. While dark and quiet, the emptyness almost seemed to move. The shadows gave off a life of their own, deterring any creature that sought the hollow, a deep deported dragon's lair. To the untrained eye, nothing was there; however, the cave was home to the darkness itself. The entity, more dark than the blackest night, stretched along the walls of the cavern, growing impatient. The entity that called this place home was silently plotting. It had been dormant for too long, its disciples too weak to conquer any significant portion of the land. Its power had grown, and after such a long slumber, it was finally time to wreak havoc upon those foolish mortals once more.

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Meanwhile, the not-so-well trodden path that led out of the cave and down the mountain led to a quaint little village. This village was Ponyville. The sweet summer air cast a spell of tranquility over it's inhabitants. Ponies were in the town square, trading and laughing, without a care in the world. Applejack herself was negotiating the sale of a couple of apple pies to some pegasus from out of town. Around the corner and down the street, Pinkie Pie was talking to Fluttershy outside of Sugarcube Corner, asking for some small trifle of a favor as Rarity walked up and discussed some affair of getting the friends together to hang out. Further down through Ponyville, a rainbow maned pegasus lazily trailed through the air, probably postponing some task that was required of her. Finally, at the end of the street a large tree grew, a combination of good soil and magic, that had been turned into the library of Ponyville, more commonly known as the homestead of one Twilight Sparkle and her number one assistant, Spike.

"No, no, no, no, no...” muttered Twilight, accenting each ‘No’ by tossing aside another book.

"Um, Twilight? What are you doing?” asked Spike, worriedly.

"No, no”, she continued before registering that her assistant had spoken. “What was that Spike? No, no..."

"You’re making a huge mess! I just cleaned the library this morning! Is this really necessary?"

"Of course it is Spike! I’m researching the polar opposites of the elements of harmony for a conclusive report I’m doing for Princess Celestia."

"So why are you throwing books everywhere?"

"Close, but no. Because I found a reference to some great evil that tried to destroy Equestria long ago. For whatever reason the elements weren’t enough to stop this creature when the princesses faced it and I was hoping to learn more about it." Twilight shuddered as though the mere mention of the monster was uncomfortable. "But there doesn’t seem to be any accurate descriptions of it in any of my other books!"

"Have you checked the Historical Encyclopedia of Equestria? I mean really, Pinkie finds everything so easily and you..." A flying book smacked into Spike on its way to join the dozens of others forming a pile in the center of the room. "Ugh... come on Twi, couldn't you look before throwing them?"

"Perhaps it would be noted under The Comparative Notes of Starswirl and Other Notable Unicorns of the Age!" Twilight exclaimed, obviously paying no notice to the astute baby dragon walking dizzily towards the kitchen.

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The floating pegasus sighed as she glanced around Ponyville. She was in search of her favorite napping cloud which seemed to have drifted off while she was practicing. She desperately needed a nap and it was nowhere in sight! Even the fastest pegasus in Equestria needs to take breaks every once in a while, after all.

Ah, there it was. Rainbow Dash grinned triumphantly and started towards the fluffy cloud, curiously nestled right above Twilight's home. As she lay down to enjoy the next however long she was out, she heard some curious rumbling. Not the I'm-hungry-and-need-candy rumbling, but a sort of muffled rumbling. She glanced around and spotted a few speckled storm clouds above a mountain in the distance.

"Well", Rainbow thought, "not my problem. It’ll probably get taken care off by somepony else, they know no storms are scheduled for today." Losing her fight to stay awake, not that she was fighting hard in the first place, Rainbow fell asleep.

A few hours later, back at the town square, a dark shadow cloaked the sky as blackened clouds rumbled ominously. Applejack was slowly pulling her cart down through the square when she heard a faint squeak.

"Hello, is somepony there?"

There was no immediate response so Applejack continued moving while observing that no other ponies were about with the storm hanging overhead. The steady pitter-patter of rain and whistling winds warned her to get inside before she caught a cold. Applejack thought that the unplanned rain was a mite odd, even more so that Ponyville's lead pegasus was not even attempting to clear the sky.

"Dash..." grumbled Applejack.

"Oh, um... I'm so very sorry Applejack. But you see... I'm not Rainbow Dash..." muttered a voice directly above Applejack.

"Oh! Hey there Fluttershy! Now I was just here thinking I had heard somethin'. Whatcha need?"

"Um, if you don't mind. Pinkie Pie wanted me to find you and ask if you wanted to come to a party at Sugarcube Corner."

"What would this here party be for?" Applejack asked questioningly, cocking her head to the side.

"Well, you know Pinkie Pie. Once her Pinkie-sense told her there would be a big storm, the first thing to come to her mind was to throw a party to keep everypony’s spirits high, hehe." Fluttershy grinned.

"Well best not keep her waiting. Let's get a move on."

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Just a few blocks away, Sugarcube Corner stood in all its delectable glory. Inside, one pink pony pranced about throwing streamers and tossing confetti around haphazardly as a single white unicorn mare sat upon a velvet cushion, outlining the latest fashion line that she was preparing to escort to Manehattan as her audience politely pretended to understand the subtle nuances of her craft.

"Pinkie darling”, Rarity began, slowly examining the decorations around the room, “don’t you think that there may be a few too many streamers? There’s not a spot of uncovered wall or ceiling to be found.”

“Silly Rarity, it's a party, you can never have too many streamers!" Pinkie Pie yelled over the music and the howling wind that had recently picked up from the rising storm outside.

“Wait, is that Gummy swimming in the punch bowl?" Rarity exclaimed as she dropped her cup, looking like she was going to be sick.

"So that’s where he went” laughed Pinkie. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

The door quickly opened as one orange earth pony tumbled in front of one spinning pegasus trying to stay aloft. The two ponies bounced across the room in a tumble of wind and leaves, their manes hanging damp. Rarity glared at their wet, untidy manes and rolled her eyes. She looked over to the open door framing the rain, watching as it began to increase in ferocity. The wind picked up leaves, small twigs, and pinecones in small spirals throughout the street. She pointed her horn towards the door and closed it with a brief glow of magic.

"Nice of you two dears to, well, drop in." said Rarity, still attempting to compose herself after deciding that from now on she would bring her own refreshments to Pinkie Pie’s parties.

"Hello y'all! It’s gettin’ windy out there, nearly got gusted into next week!" Applejack said as she attempted to dry off her hat and mane.

"YAY!" The pink pony exclaimed with excitement. "You made it to the party!"

"Hey, you two seen RD anywhere? She should be taking care of this here storm, and I haven't seen hide nor tail of her."

"I’m afraid not darling, but I am sure that she is fine and that everything..." Rarity began when the front door smashed open and Twilight Sparkle stood upon the threshold with a crazed look in her eyes as Spike nervously pulled a wagon full of sopping wet books behind her.

"Where in Equestria is Rainbow Dash? I have my own personal raincloud above my house that is getting flooded! You know, the house with all the books!"

"That's exactly what we were all discussing."

Thunder cracked all around the house, wind howled in constant torrents, trees cracked as they were uprooted. At this point, the noise of the storm grew deafening as rain cascaded outside of Sugarcube Corner. The five mares and one dragon settled down. Twilight eventually broke the silence once they had gotten comfortable.

"Ugh, let me try to locate her with a scrying spell."

"That’s gonna give you a headache again." Spike warned.

"Dash is our best hope of stopping this storm before it gets completely out of control. You have a better idea?"

The four mares huddled around Twilight, Spike merely drying off books and muttering to himself. Twilight concentrated, attempting to search for her friend amongst all the chaos. After a few moments, Twilight fell over and clutched her horn moaning.

“Told you, Twilight.”

“Not helping, Spike, urgh…”

The storm outside appeared to reach its peak, the booming thunder and flashes of lightning were concurrent, the wind screeched in torrents, and the downpour of rain threatened to flood the streets.

“Did it work? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it?” Pinkie asked optimistically, hoping her friend hadn’t been hurt in the midst of this torrential downpour.

“YES!” Twilight yelled. Everyone shrunk a little or recoiled in the sudden outburst, most of all Fluttershy.

“I mean yes, it worked. She was napping when her cloud drifted away I’m pretty sure. Then there was just darkness for a while, until she finally flew back to Ponyville. She should be outside somewhere right now.”

“Tarnation! Napping for hours! She better be out there cleaning that storm.”

Then the door exploded. Flying through the room after its hinges snapped under the impact of a medium sized object, it embedding itself in the wall as its unlucky passenger slid to the ground. It was a pony, barely breathing. He moaned in pain as the five mares scurried to his side. Fluttershy tried to help him up when she noticed blood slowly pooling underneath the stallion. His chest had been caved in, bones cutting out through his skin and fur. Other than the storm, there was no sound in the room. Spike cried in his wagon. There had not been a fatal injury like this in the quiet town of Ponyville in years.

“Please…help…them…” The earth pony groaned quietly before closing his eyes and becoming silent.

“Oh Goddess. Is he?”

“Oh my, oh no, please don’t die…”

“I’m sorry ‘shy, there nothin’ we can do for him.”

“How could this have happened?”

“Who was he talking about?” Twilight glanced out of the doorway and was met with a horrendous sight, like something out of a nightmare. The storm was being guided to inflict as much damaged on ponies and the town as possible. Lightning struck the homes of Ponyville and fires raged, the rain having parted to allow the burning. The fires seemed to almost burn with hunger, leaping from building to building in a furious rage. Cyclones tore through the burning buildings, scattering ashes. Streets were gouged by the furious winds as the blood of the dead, struck by lightning or thrown against buildings, flowed in red currents. Some ponies were struck with debris, even impaled by timber. Ponies screamed and ran in every direction, trying to escape the violent wind that swept up ponies and slammed them back to earth. A cackling laugh swept over the town with malicious intent.

“I AM UNSTOPPABLE! RECOGNIZE MY GREATNESS! HAHAHAHAHA!”

Twilight looked up at a glimmer of color upon the blackened sky. A figure swept through the clouds at impossible speeds, controlling the currents.

“YOU CAN SEE IT NOW! MY POWER! I CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE! OBSERVE MY GLORY!”

Twilight watched as the figure swiftly swept down through the sky, as crackles of color and wisps of darkness snapped around her like electricity. She went faster and faster, speeding towards the ground, coated in color and darkness.

“Rainbo…?”

Then there was black.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my first mlp fanfic! Any constructive crititcism is appreciated. Please note that this chapter is meant to be the prologue, therefore the point of view is not yet from Rainbow Dash. Don't worry, her trials and tribulation start in chapter one.

Any recommedations, tips, advice, or really anything would be helpful! Thanks!

Chapter One: Bitter Recognition

I cried. For the longest time I just looked out upon what remained of the village and cried. Only one day. How many were dead? Hundreds? Thousands? Ponyville was gone. Nothing remained of the town but a desolate crater spotted with the remnants of the few homes that hadn't been uprooted by the fierce storm. The only proof that this place had been inhabited by hundreds of ponies just twenty-four hours ago were the ashes of the fallen. The soft wind carried the gray specks throughout town before they drifted off into the bleak sky, finally leaving behind this nightmarish town in search of a more peaceful resting place.

What was left? Canterlot had been obliterated, Manehatten razed to the ground, and Fillydelphia was probably still burning. Only one day and they were all wiped off the map. The most prominent cities in Equestria shouldn't have fallen so easily. It all seemed like a horrible dream, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't wake up.

I began to walk through town, wandering aimlessly without any particular destination in mind. Across the hills of ash and dead grass, the old site of Sweet Apple Acres was no longer a collection of proud trees full of ripe red apples, but rather a field of rotten trunks sticking out of the colorless earth like fingers of the dead buried under that very ash. The old farmstead was partially intact: the frame and walls were mostly together, though the roof had caved in trapping any ponies unlucky enough to be taking refuge there. The thought that the bodies of Big Mac, Granny Smith, and even little Apple Bloom could be buried somewhere inside was unbearable.

But there was the cellar! I rushed towards the other side of the old farmhouse, knowing that there was a chance. Maybe, just maybe, they had all taken refuge within the old apple cellar before the storm got too severe. The girls were smart; they surely would have hid in here until the worst of it had passed. I flung open the doors hoping to find some sign that the old cellar had been used, but found only a room full of dust and fallen debris. The quakes caused by those final explosions seemed to have taken a toll; this place wasn't exactly built to withstand the kind of destruction that had taken place here.

I left the Apple farm, knowing I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and slowly made my way towards what used to be the center of Ponyville. Around the town, buildings still standing were quite scarce and those remaining had been extensively damaged by fire.

I laid down in the ash. Looking at my hooves, I could still see the red stains on my forehooves. No amount of ash could cover up the red on my normally cyan hide. The fur seemed ruffled and choppy from dangerous flight and vicious crashes. I couldn’t live with this, it was my fault this all happened.

“Why’d you have to do this, huh?” I moaned to myself. “Just had to be the best…sniff… no matter what. Now everything is gone. Listened to it… let it take control…thought it would be okay… it was only one day…”

“Does it even matter anymore? Does anything? Why would it… let me remember… the pain…?” I choked back a sob, “Why am I still alive?”

Next I found my way to another familiar spot, a place I could always go to when I was feeling blue, Sugarcube Corner. I combed through the rubble remembering all the good times. Pinkie had always thrown the craziest parties; no matter the circumstance that mare could always turn it into an occasion for cake and festivities. The gray ash sifted between my hooves spilling out onto the floor of the now shattered confectionery store. A breeze swept up, taking the ash to unknown crevasses in the earth.

Only one day.

I couldn’t stop crying. Tears fell from my face before landing to be soaked up by the brittle ground. The knapsack on my back collected ash as it softly landed on the earth like snow. I couldn’t help but think about the two survivors I had come across earlier that day. The first place I returned to after regaining consciousness was here. Could never leave Ponyville hanging...

I had seen the horrors, watched as ponies were slaughtered by the perfect storm that I had created. When ponies would look at me they would see nothing more than a monster unfit to exist peacefully amongst other life. And they were right; I was a curse to this place now.

I couldn't recognize most of the dead. Many of the bodies had been charred by the fires, surely making their deaths excruciatingly painful. Most others were carried off by the storm, probably lying somewhere miles away by now. The first survivor I found was Lyra, curled underneath Bon Bon, who had sheltered her loved one with her own body. Unconscious, I carried her to the only place I knew that was still standing, Appleoosa. As soon as they saw me, the shots started. I left Lyra by the gate, and left as quickly as I could. Luck kept me from getting killed.

Because I was so damn lucky.

As far as I knew, only one other survived. Stayed here as far as I knew, though I didn't get a very good look at them before they hid. How they were able to survive was beyond me, from what I'd seen at a glance, that pony shouldn't have been standing.

“You’re back,” a voice from behind said.

I couldn’t gaze at whoever was unfortunate enough to look at my torn soul. I simply shuffled my shoulders in recognition, tears still pouring down my face as I attempted to silence my sniffling. No need to show any weakness.

“I would ask why you did all this,” the voice continued. “But what’s the point? It won't change the past.” It rasped in a dry tone. Whoever it was sounded very familiar somehow, but the suppressed anger and depression were as evident as words in an open book. This pony knew who I was, what I had done.

Then suddenly I knew who stood behind me. The other survivor of the Ponyville incident. It was-

"What I really want to know is how you live with yourself. Do you even know how many died?"

I just laid on the ground, nuzzling the ash, crying tears that dried before they left my face. It was all true, and I deserved every bit of her criticism. I did this... All of it...

I couldn't take the shame. My body reacted violently, shaking with held back pain. I broke down, incessantly bawling, unable to hold the tears in anymore. Tears streamed down my face as I groaned quietly into the ash piled between my forehooves.

"What are you doing?"

I didn't respond. I couldn't. Not to her. I had no justification for my actions, and even if I did, she wouldn't accept them. As I cried, I heard a gentle trot muffled by the ash.

Clop, clop, clop. Clop, clop, clop.

She spoke again, this time the voice coming from in front of me.

"Are you crying? Do you actually care? Can you still feel any emotion at all after what you've done?"

Wind whistled softly in the air. Crackles of some still burning embers echoed across the ruins of Ponyville. I heard a soft hum, and something nuzzled between the ash and my face. I opened my eyes and was met by a jagged red gem outlined in golden fittings. The gem had a deep crack through the center, as though some impossible force had broken it like a heart.

"I found it amongst the others in the ruin. Funny really. One of the most powerful artifacts in Equestria, one that even time itself couldn't break, and you cracked it without even touching it."

The Element of Loyalty. I was still loyal, but I couldn't change the past. The fact that I had taken part in the murders of an entire countries worth of ponies surely meant that I could no longer bear an Element of Harmony. No amount of physical force would break an element; it was my psychological choice that rendered this crack in the necklace. Another fault to atone for, if it was ever possible to wash my hooves of the rivers of blood they swam in.

"And I always thought you were loyal. Turning on your friends like this? Your home? Were you ever loyal?"

"I FUCKING WAS DAMMIT!"

The outburst shocked her as much as it did me. I struggled to get on all four hooves, still staring at the pile of ash my head had laid upon for what seemed like hours.

"I tried so hard, but it wasn't enough! I just wanted to be better! And it said I would be if I helped for a day. All it wanted was one day. I didn't know. If I had I wouldn't have..." I slunk back to the ground, fighting back more tears.

There was silence for a while as she tried to comprehend what I had just told her. I heard her sit down, the unmistakable sound of ash pluming up around an impact, even one so gentle, was carried on the wind.

She broke the silence with a question.

"It?"

I couldn't even begin to respond. The whole story would take a long time, and she would probably either kill me or not believe me at this point. But I had to give her a reason to care, if somepony was capable of feeling sympathy towards me it was her.

"I don't know what it was. It just offered me a deal of sorts. Then I lost control. Nothing else really matters."

"Where?" She quickly asked pointedly.

"Where we went to confront that sleeping dragon a few years back, deep down in those abandoned caves. Remember when we all got that dragon to leave? Fluttershy saved the day? Remember, Twi..."

"I don't care." She said flatly, "Anything you have to say about the past no longer matters. I hold you in the same contempt as a changeling, if not worse."

More silence. There wasn't much you can say when the mare that you had considered one of your best friends just told you that she hates your guts, not that she didn't have a good reason.

"I really want to kill you." Twilight Sparkle said with an even tone, making my blood run cold.

Then do it. Please, just put me out of my misery. I wanted so badly to cry out for my own demise, but my innate sense of survival wouldn't let me.

"But you deserve to suffer, and you have too much to fix for me to let you die now. It might not have been all your fault, but your actions lead to this catastrophic event, and I still expect whatever is left of the old Rainbow Dash to fix this. You said you would never leave Ponyville hanging."

After what I'd done? She expected me to help? I would be killed by anypony who owned a weapon within a day. Two if I was lucky.

Luck. Sigh.

"Of course... Never..."

More silence.

"There are only two major cities left you know, if you count Appleoosa. Then again, you did your best against Stalliongrad. Half is leveled or turned to ash."

"Are either of the princesses...?" I couldn't say it. It seemed almost blasphemous to ask if the rulers of Equestria, immortals who could move the very sun and moon, were alive.

"No. From what I've heard your 'event' killed Celestia and Luna instantly. Poor Luna was making good progress in her attempts to regain the trust of her subjects. Her confidence was returning and she was finally ready to put the Nightmare Moon incident behind her and focus on the future. Princess Celestia finally had her sister back, I don't think I’ve ever seen her so happy. And now they're both gone."

Oh.

A sort of empty void filled my heart and mind as all faith in the universal religion of Equestria was dissolved in that one moment. Bitterness was all that remained. Bitter memories and regret.

I managed to choke out a few choice words.

"I fucked up Twilight. Bad."

"Yeah. Thousands dead. An empire gone. Deities assassinated. Cities leveled. A one day massacre."

Silence. There was more pressure on my throat, impairing my ability to speak. Even trying to feel caused pain somewhere in the part of my heart that hadn't turned to stone.

"I had to bury them you know."

No. Not them too. The darkness had snuffed every spark of light in the land it could, but they were immune, they had to be. No matter how impossible the challenge, they had always come out on top.

"I buried them out in the Everfree forest. Near the grove where Pinkie sung to us all for the very first time. Most of them died quickly when Sugarcube Corner collapsed. Applejack was pinned under a crossbeam with the weight of the entire roof on her. She told me that she was going to die and I wouldn't believe her. But she did die. Slowly and painfully. Every single one of them is gone. I couldn't even save a single one..." Twilight's mask of composure began to slip and she turned away for a moment to gather her nerves.

I wanted to ask how she survived. Did one of them cover her from the horrors of the explosion as Bon Bon had done for Lyra? She seemed to know what I was thinking and continued, but with a sense of hesitation and faltering words.

"I was lucky enough to be standing in the doorway at the time. The explosion collapsed the roof first, crushing them or impaling them on beams. I was blown back into the store after the collapse, so nothing impacted me. I broke through plenty of walls and debris though. Why don't you look me in the eyes when I talk to you Dash?"

I slowly opened my eyes, still looking straight down at the ash pile that softly coated my cheeks. I moved my gaze gently across the ashy ground and saw her hooves. Only three cracked hooves met my gaze, ankles cut and stained with blood. One leg appeared weak, as though ligaments were torn and had not healed properly. I raised my gaze higher, and saw the dirt and ash that coated her frame. Blisters and burnt flesh were prominent along her sides and stomach. Fur chopped unevenly around the injuries. One scar looked to be freshly healed over a deep gash that followed along the right forehoof across her side, up to her... Her right wing was gone. A bloody scar with apparent pustules formed along the side where her wing once sprouted from. The gash continued down to her cutie mark, splitting it in two. The stump where her back left forehoof should be simply hung down from her flanks, a bandage and rope wound tightly around the base of the stump. This injury was not completely scabbed, and fresh blood held to the wound, giving it the appearance of a melted red candle.

I dared to look even higher, seeing the way her neck was strained to swallow her own spit. Then I saw her face. Her right ear missed its earlobe. Her teeth were jagged and no longer even, several in the front chipped. A few even missing. A single lone scar leapt from her chin up to above her left ear. And finally her horn. It was once a proud symbol of her magical prowess, now it was dirty and chipped on the sides. It looked brittle, like too much magic would make it burst. Her eyes glared at me. One of them was bloodshot, the other bleeding, causing me to recoil at the sight of them.

"You did this." She whispered softly, "And there is no hell hot enough for you to burn in. But I expect you to fix this damn mess you made of the world."

I couldn't withhold the question eating at me ever since she suggested my help.

"What? I mean... how?" I managed to choke out.

"Kill it."

I couldn't have heard her right.

"I don't care how, but it's your responsibility to clean up this mess. This thing must not be allowed to live. Are you going to redeem yourself by crying while the world burns around you? Removing that entity from the word would be a start.”

"I… kill…?”

"Yes."

"But...I don't think I can..."

"I'll help."

Now I was even more confused.

“I can't trust you to do this on your own, Loyalty." She said the word with disgust. "I have no faith in you anymore. Besides, I need to be there. I want the pleasure of delivering the final blow, because Goddesses knows you won’t."

I felt a glimmer of hope. If she would travel with me, maybe she would listen to my story. And if our journey led to fruition, I could atone for some of what I had done.

"Come on, it's a long way to New Appleoosa. We need what they can provide. And..." she added after glancing at me, scrutinizing, "rub some dirt and ash on your coat. You are far too recognizable; any survivors we run across would kill you on sight."

No kidding.

Then she glanced at me softly, with almost a sliver of pity.

"I saw you carry Lyra away. Is she safe?"

I nodded.

Her gaze turned hard once more. The hatred and contempt visible once more in her eyes.

"Let's get going. Loyalty." She turned up at the word, as if the very thought of such a thing was offensive to her.

Guess I have a new nickname.

Chapter Two: Listen and Learn

We had walked in almost total silence ever since I was made aware of my only remaining purpose in life. The idea that I could somehow kill that devilish creature seemed preposterous. Something that had the ability to possess other creatures and then wipe out an entire civilization couldn't possibly be killed, much less by me, but I had to at least try.

Though what’s the worst that could happen if I failed? I would finally be put out of my misery, it actually sounds like a win-win situation... No, I couldn't think like that, not while I still had somepony to protect. Twilight may hate me, but she's the only friend I have left and I have to prove to her that I can still be the same dependable pegasus that she knew before the world went to shit.

I sat silently at what used to be the Ponyville train station seeing the results of my rampage everywhere I looked. In one direction the rails used to run through a mountainside on its way to Canterlot Station. The tunnel the train would have gone through was now caved in and Canterlot was now nothing more than a crater whereas once it had been considered the most impressive and advanced city in all of Equestria.

In the other direction the rails led to Appleoosa, a small up and coming town that could be quite neighborly when they wanted to, but they knew how to stand up for themselves when push came to shove. At one point the civilians had been ready to go to war with a neighboring buffalo tribe over a property dispute, thankfully it had been resolved peacefully (for the most part). In that direction I noticed that a train lay broken and toppled over on its side, with several train cars that had been disconnected and tossed aside as though they were a foals toy train set. I hoped that nopony had been on it when the event occurred.

I turned and glanced over towards Ponyville central. Twilight had returned to her tree home claiming that she needed to retrieve a few things, though I wondered how much could still be intact after the events from the day before. The library was shattered and dead, ash sifting in and out amongst the paper scraps that floated out of the holes in the place.

I wondered what she was searching for; maybe she was just saying her final goodbyes to the place that had been her home for so long. Besides the occasional visits from the God of Chaos or an experimental spell gone wrong, it had been a place of peace where she could be with the ones she loved. Now she could never return.

Every thought I had of Twilight was filled with regret, all of her injuries were completely my fault. I shuddered at the tragic irony of being gifted wings and having one torn away so soon. Flying was an integral part of my life, and she literally had an aspect of her being torn apart. Now not only could she not fly, but the simple task of walking was a task in and of itself.

The missing hoof was the insult to the injury. Not only had I made her lose what she had only just obtained, but I took what she used to be as well. The limp was evident as she trotted, her weight all placed on her severely weakened legs. I couldn’t help but wonder if the pain would ever end, not only for Twilight, but for Equestria. It could be that I had sent reality on such a vast tangent that there would never be universal peace, or happiness, again.

I looked up at the dark gray clouds. The sun's glow could barely be noticed beyond the layer of unchecked weather. I could imagine that the sun was above it all, shining in a halo of glory. Or did it shine at all, with Celestia gone? Maybe the glow was just ambient magic from the Endless Dark, allowing us some cheap excuse for day.

The soot piled against my hooves as I waited. Finally, I could make out a purple figure trotting towards me from the ruins of Ponyville. She had a sack on her back that appeared to be bulging with materials of one sort or another.

"Hey Twilight."

She didn't respond. After her insistence to travel with me to achieve the end of the otherworldly force, she had been tense and quiet. She bandaged what remained of her wounds herself, prepared her own gear, and generally kept to herself. She had rarely talked to me except in orders.

"What did you get back there?"

She gave a cold glance at me, as though considering my question. I had made some progress by having her hear me out a bit, but I wanted her as my friend again. There was only so much of the past that I could get back.

"Things. Don’t concern yourself Loyalty."

Well, that hardly answered my question. Walking closer, she sat a few feet from me and fiddled with the items in her pack. I could hear the clicking of metal objects and the swishes of liquids. I waited, eager to get moving, but not wanting to disturb her. She would be angry if I bothered her, and I didn’t want to take any steps backwards in our relationship if I could help it.

She stood up, hovered a bottle of gray liquid in her aura of magic, and then trotted in front of me. The bottle was filled with the murky gray filth, and it followed Twilight over before hovering above me, the wooden cork popping out.

"Don't move."

I stayed stock still as she poured the substance over my coat, and it chilled me to the bone as Twilight spread it over my hide. I sat there shivering as her magic hummed and she stretched out my wings. The liquid tingled and burned along my hide, like my body was flash-frozen and then put in a furnace.

What was she doing to me? Maybe she had changed her mind and decided to execute me. It was certainly painful enough. But soon the pain subsided, leaving me confused about what in the world had just happened. I glanced at my hide and noticed that my coat was now a dark gray, and my mane had been turned black. I jumped in shock.

"AH! What did you do?"

She turned and made eye contact with me. "Everypony knows that Rainbow Dash was the harbinger of death across Equestria. Now they won't kill you when they see you. It's not completely permanent, so calm down."

"But gray? Come on, I like being multicolored. It’s cool."

"I thought it suited you."

She is just wonderful. I suppose I deserved the insults. I deserved whatever she had to throw at me. If insults would make her feel better, then I shall endure.

The hour passed comprised mostly of silence. "Twilight spent an awfully long time messing with some metal object that she was careful to keep away from my prying eyes. Despite my best efforts to find things to occupy my time I couldn't even get a peek, I'd have to ask her about it later. I did a few gentle loops in the air trying to stretch the muscles in my wings as I waited for her.

She stood up and waited for me to land. With her saddlebags on her back, she nodded at me before starting to trot down the tracks. I glanced at her briefly, surprised at the sudden departure, and then followed behind her. I had hope she might explain more about what we were doing, and more about our journey in general.

"How long is it to New Appleoosa?"

"By train it is only an hour or two, but by hoof? Roughly ten to twelve. Go fly up and check the time, I really don't want to wander the rails near the Everfree at night."

Briefly acknowledging her comment, I flew upwards, straining my wings. The events of previous days took its toll. I guess letting another being wear your skin for a day as it slaughters thousands of innocent ponies can have that effect on you. Only halfway to the cloud layer and I was sweating and panting from the effort. I luckily found a swift updraft and glided into it, the air current sweeping me upwards.

I hit the cloud layer, literally. It was surprisingly solid and I bounced right off. I ran a hoof across the surface of the cloud. It felt more like a rigid rock than anything else. Curious.

I scanned the clouds for a weak point and luckily enough I found one. To my left seemed to be a small gap. I fluttered over and squeezed my head through, looking for the sun. That is when I saw the most curious sight.

I darted down and flew straight to Twilight. As I landed she noticed my panic and stood at attention.

"What's wrong?"

"It looks like the moon is flying across the sky and it's about to move right in front of the sun. How can the moon move without Luna? What are we going to do Twilight?"

Twilight swore and looked upwards thoughtfully. Deep in thought, she began to focus her magic on some sort of spell.

"Maybe we can..."

Just then a blue blur blinded us. The light seemed to concentrate into a solid orb of magic and sped off into the cloud layer, tearing it apart. It vanished in the sky, seeming to take the problem with it. Through a large hole in the sky, the moon slowed to a halt and returned to its normal behavior. Meanwhile the sun sped up to maintain its normal distance from the moon.

"No…”

Twilight seemed shocked beyond reason. She spun around, casting a plethora of spells that cast reflective lights around, that burst in color, or that vaporized the bushes.

"What are you doing? Twilight what the hell is going on?”

Twilight forced herself to calm down, looking around suspiciously.

“Of course not. They are all gone.”

I stepped in front of her and looked her in the eyes.

“Twilight, what just happened?”

She sighed and settled her heart rate, breathing deeply. Swallowing, she spoke with some residual caution.

"The moon was being controlled, probably by the being that caused all of this. It would’ve had the same effect as Nightmare Moon’s attempt at eternal night. Only the moon would’ve shrouded the sun behind it, causing enormous flares of light around the edge of the moon. The flares could be absorbed as residual energy and used to power the moon. Without Celestia to manage the situation, the moon would have grown both in power and size. There is a book titled A Study on the Possible Eventualities of the Nightmare Rule that describes various ways Nightmare Moon could’ve further established her rule without opposition from Celestia. That was what was just attempted.”

There was silence for a bit while I contemplated her words.

"So what stopped it?"

"I thought it was something I knew, but now I am unconvinced. I think it might’ve been the moon itself, resisting somepony other than Luna trying to manipulate it. I’ll concern myself with some more detailed studies later. I think we should just camp here for the night, outside the forest. Grab some wood Loyalty.”

I quickly gathered some twigs as Twilight started a fire. She sat on the side opposite me, organizing her gear while I sat confused, trying to find some reason to hope against such a power. What kind of power could control Luna’s moon and how could I even begin to fight that? Even for a pony as gifted as Twilight it seemed farfetched. The powers that were in play here existed so far beyond us.

Then some music began to play. Soft and melodious, the music pierced the quiet dusk and my considerable worry.

I turned over to Twilight, who was sitting in front of a small radio. The notes were smooth, and the beat slow. I began to hum quietly to the song as I became acquainted with the music.

I've made a couple mistakes
Had quite a few heartaches
And while I've made a future here
Far too high now are the staaaaaa------

It broke off into static and the music ceased. Twilight looked perturbed for a moment, fiddling with various components before unhappily shutting the device off and tossing it back into her bag. Deciding to lie down and get some rest, Twilight dimmed the fire to a small crackling heat. I, consumed with conflicting thoughts and regret, tried to stay up for a while longer, trying to make sense of what kind of world I now lived in. All I could think was that life had become gray; the ash, my coat, my future.

But the exhaustion was too much to bear, and the recent flight took more out of me than I was willing to admit. I gave a glance at the sleeping form of Twilight, wishing I could wake up to find that she had forgiven me, that maybe this was some sort of elaborate prank, and soon Pinkie Pie would hop out of a bush and laugh at how she fooled me, the rest of my friends following her.

Rarity would make comments on how horrible I looked, entirely grey. Applejack would tell me I wouldn’t have been fooled so easily if I wasn’t such an airhead pegasus. Fluttershy would help me up, and hold me close as she apologized for participating in such a horrible idea, and saying that she would try and make everything better for causing me pain.

Tears were still flowing from my eyes as I fell asleep.

Chapter Three: Obstacles and Ventricles

I had slept awfully. I would take my soft fluffy cloud bed over the cold hard ground any day. When I passed out the night before, I couldn't care less about where my body fell, which I soon realized had been a mistake. The earth was wet and had matted into my mane, and my neck and back were stiff from lying on pebbles. I stood slowly, stretching my wings. I was not looking forward to the long walk ahead when I was already feeling sore. But wait...was that food I smelled?

Sniffing the air I could smell hay fries cooking, and I turned over to the fire. Twilight had produced a pan from her saddlebags and sat staring intently at the cooking fries that lay within it, not even blinking.

"Uh Twilight? You ok?" she asked the mare who seemed to be having a staring contest with her breakfast.

"I'm not going to let this batch burn like the others,” Twilight nodded to her left slightly, where there was a collection of black goop that had presumably once been food. “It should be at optimal level for edibility in about 63 seconds. I think."

I shrugged. Some things never change.

Glancing around, it appeared the surrounding area was just as dreary as it had been yesterday. The clouds were still gray and imposing, stretching out into the abyss of the horizon. The ground was gray as well, speckled with a few patches of grass still attempting to endure despite the hopeless state of the world. In the dull light of dawn the iron tracks of the largest transportation construct in Equestria spread down through the forest. Beyond that forest was the Great Buffalo Plains which would be the final stretch before reaching New Appleoosa. Far off to the distance was a squiggle of gray smoke, barely curling over the trees, indicating that our destination was less than a day’s walk away barring any unforeseen distractions.

Off to the left was the mountain that once housed the great castle of Canterlot. It appeared like a curved talon that bent towards Ponyville, seeming to beckon for it. A large hole bore through the side of the mountain, blackened and smoking.

Twilight cleared her throat and looked at me.

"It’s done."

Ah, food. A purple aura of magic floated a miniature portion of the meal upon a broad leaf to lie in front of me. I looked questioningly at her, because she had the entire rest of the meal floating around her as she ate and fiddled with her radio.

"Could I have some more?"

"No. I lost a lot of blood and limbs recently; I need the strength more than you. I’ll allow you the chance to apologize for asking such a stupid question.”

Every step forward was met with two steps back. I needed her on my side.

“I’m sorry.”

She scoffed disbelievingly and returned to her work.

"What’s with the radio?"

Her eyes clouded over as she glanced down.

"I like the music," she quickly choked out.

I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like there was sadness in those eyes staring back at me for a moment, as opposed to the hatred I had grown accustomed to for the past day. Then the moment was gone and the vicious contempt returned. I tried to approach the topic lightly.

"How does it still work? Are there radio towers still out there?"

"No, of course not. I'm playing a recording. Although some of it seems to be damaged, because the recordings are playing in a lower quality."

I wanted to ask more, curious about the small device that was such a touchy subject for her, but she suddenly stood up. She cast a soft spell to kill the fire, levitated her supplies, and began trotting down the tracks. Having no supplies of my own, I jumped up and glided after her.

The path alongside the train tracks seemed to twist and turn through the Everfree, giving us no idea how much longer it would be until we reached our destination. The nearby trees seemed to leer towards us angrily, and noises escaped the forest in droves of hisses and growls.

We had trotted down the trail for about an hour before we were in the thick of the Everfree forest. Twilight slowed to a cautious gait, while I floated behind her. She looked around and cast some sort of spell, producing a small light that reflected off of every surface nearby.

The darkness of the forest shifted, and suddenly there were yellow, bloodshot eyes glaring out of every bush along the trail.

Twilight stopped and her horn began to light up again. Calmly she turned towards me.

"Dash, fly away."

I looked upwards as my wings prepared themselves for flight, but instead I landed and turned to Twilight, meeting her gaze.

The trees had extended their branches and woven them across each other. Tendrils of vines and masses of branches moved before my eyes and covered the tunnel. There was no large opening in the canopy, and the small ones were not safe. Slick tails of cockatrices whipped through the trees, visible as the creatures leapt past the pockets of light. The cockatrices would grab her with their powerful tails, turn her to stone, and have her drop and shatter before she could pass them.

Her eyes narrowed as she thought quickly, "I can handle them. You just need to get out of here. I don’t want to try and teleport you, I might kill you. Just start running and don’t stop until you can’t see me anymore. I'll be right behind you.”

I wanted to resist her insistence to fight alone, but her eyes brooked no argument. I turned to fly away, but as I ascended I felt there was something wrong. The forest had erupted with manticores, jumping and clawing after Twilight in frenzy. She was merely shielding herself and blasting them back with gusts of air, watching me clearly, and waiting for me to leave. Behind her, a large cockatrice quietly slid down from the canopy and slithered towards her. With her eyes locked on me, she did not see its approach. Before I could shout out a warning, the cockatrice curled around her and glanced into her eyes.

I made a split second decision, and in half the time, I slammed into the beast, breaking its spell. As Twilight regained focus and began concentrating her magic, a manticore rushed towards me. I dove to the side as its rippling muscles tensed and the sharp stinger of its tail impaled the ground, but I neglected to observe its paws. Its claws raked bloody furrows in my side, and I was flung into a small flower patch within the trees.

Lying on crushed flowers, I could hardly breathe as my lungs collapsed. The strike had broken my ribcage and the bones fractured and split inside. Blood pooled out of the deep lacerations and soon I couldn't feel anything beyond the incessant pain. My right wing was coated in my own blood. As my vision blurred and faded, I felt the earth shake, causing the fragments of bone to scratch and rip my internal organs apart. I could hear Twilight casting spells and yelling my name. I tried to look one more time, but all I saw were the red flowers. I coughed violently, blood spewing onto the grass and mixing unnoticeably with the roses.

For a moment I could see nothing, but just as quickly the world returned. I could see mutilated manticores on the edge of the clearing. Colors ran red over me. I was lowered down to the ground with no strength to hold it up, lying in a pool of blood. My breath grew ragged as my lungs failed, blood flowing up my throat. Eyelids fluttered and blood sticking to the eyelashes, I couldn't feel or move. My vision narrowed as everything dimmed until it all turned to black.

I awoke to find my favorite napping cloud bumping up against a mountain. Strange how a small cloud could float all the way up here on its own. How long was my nap? I turned to see that black storm clouds stretched out over the sky, lightning cracking, thunder booming, and pegasi hopelessly flying about.

The weather team was utterly hopeless. One storm without me and they lose formation? I had better go help them, I thought, standing and stretching my wings.

Wait.

“Huh? Hello?” I spun around, tripping over my own hooves and rolling onto the mountain. The black stone was unyielding to my faceplant.

Enter

I got up, searching for the source of the voice. It was almost as if it was all in my head. Looking behind myself I saw a large cave that looked familiar somehow. I smiled as I was reminded of Fluttershy’s incredible bravery all those years ago when faced with her greatest fear.

Enter

There it was again. The voice boomed deeply and echoed inside my brain. It was hard to think over the noise, and it just repeated itself over and over. The headache was unbearable, and soon my hooves were trotting me inside seemingly of their own accord. Then it stopped, along with all other sound as the world around me plunged into darkness. Only the pinprick of weak light from the mouth of the cave was visible.

Great idea Dash, just keep following the voice in your head, next thing you know I'll wake up in an asylum wearing a strait-jacket.

I sighed; I might as well try talking back to the product of my insanity, nothing better to do.

"Hello? Voice in my head? You in here?" I shouted.

The words simply bounced off the surfaces of the rocks. As my vision corrected itself to the darkness, I noticed a small path which seemed to lead into a system of tunnels. I continued following the passages, trying (and failing miserably), to remember the way for my eventual journey home. Each new path seemed to lead me even further underground and soon I found myself looking at a single narrow opening, seeming to beckon me onwards.

Well, I mused, this couldn't possibly be a bad idea.

I ventured down the path, almost blindly peering forward. The tunnel was short and thin, and more than a few times I got myself scratched or nicked on some sharp black rocks that I assumed were obsidian. After a few stumbles, I arrived in a large opening. It was dark. And by dark I mean devoid of light, so much so that it seemed to suck the light out of the tunnel. This was the very epitome of oblivion and darkness. "Hello?"

You are here

"Uh... yeah? Who,” I began to say, before thinking of a better question to ask,”…What are you?"

A creature in need of your assistance. Won’t you please help me?

Well. This isn't suspicious at all. "What do you need from me?"

I am dying. I cannot live here. Help me to a new shelter, where I can regain my power. It would be but a day's journey.

I considered going to Twilight right then and there, because this seemed way over my head. But it wouldn’t hurt to listen, would it?

"What are you?"

I am something ancient. Once a being of power, the creatures of this land used to call me their savior. Entire empires rose under my watch, and those that appeased me gained more fortune and power than you can imagine. But old age seems to have caught up with me, my powers have dwindled, and I was left to decay in solitude.

I survive on the life that encompasses all things, but here there is no life to make me whole. Neither are there sounds of hope to incur my power. I only breathe when there is life around me. I hear nothing here, and thus I lie dormant until I die. Can any living thing sanely thrive completely alone? I would drive myself mad simply contained here as I died. Unless you choose to save me.

He seemed so sad, almost nostalgic. Maybe he does need help.

"How would I even move you? I can't even see you."

I have no solid form. Once in my youth I was seen as a light, but now I am the blackness of death. Soon my image will become reality and I shall fade into the abyss of Creation. However, if you were to become my vessel, I could easily be transported to somewhere that I can live. It would take but a day. It took most of my current power to contact you, and that was given your proximity.

Wait, what? "Can't a unicorn move you? I'm not ready to have some creature hitching a ride inside my body. I know ponies that would help you; I have a friend named Twil…"

No, I don't want anyone else to see me so... fragile. I have a tale to spin, should you wish to listen. Perhaps it would better convey the particulars of the situation.

I looked into the black and nodded. “Sure. I love a good story.”

The blackness of the cave warped into an image of clear blue skies. A certain Lunar Princess flew through them with a dark orb following her. She seemed to be running from somewhere, tears streaming down her face like diamonds.

After the war against Discord long ago, I went into a deep sleep to contain those being like him, to protect the world. But like I am now, they began to fade, and no longer required my guard. When I emerged from my vigil, Luna and Celestia were arguing, and Luna fled her sister. I had followed her to find out what had happened.

Sounds emerged from the image.

Luna spoke with hatred and fear, mixed with a choking sadness. “Stay away! I wish to be left alone!”

A rumbling voice responded from the orb as a light emanated from within. “Luna, do not hide yourself from me. This issue must be resolved, or events will be set in motion that could have devastating consequences. You know not what will happen should sister fight sister.”

Luna stopped her frantic flight and turned towards the orb. “I cannot control myself anymore! The bounds of my mind burn, and if I cannot contain my power, then how will I…”

The orb grumbled. “If you do not, then all I have done is for naught. You need only last four more days until the height of winter. Then you shall be at the peak of your power and will be able to impress her enough to…”

“I DO NOT SEEK TO IMPRESS HER!” Luna yelled as she wept some tears from her eyes. “I already have such power to be her equal! She merely hates me because I was your favorite, and that you speak to me and not her. You must side with me on this.”

The sphere grew quiet for a moment. “Alright Luna. I shall do as you say. I know of no force that could stop the both of us.”

The image ceased to exist as the room plunged back into darkness.

You know the rest of this story to some extent. Luna attempted to usurp her sister, and I was too loyal to her to disobey. She was my everything. But something went wrong. Celestia had obtained some kind of powerful runic stones and used them to banish Luna. Celestia then searched for me, but I had been banished with her. I punished myself for failing Luna by sequestering myself on her moon. But I was returned with her. Weak as I was, I soon found myself in the hollows of this mountain. You must understand, Luna only wanted her subjects love, and I was bound to her like I was to no other. Can you not understand the burden of loyalty, even to those who have gone astray?

I could. "I don't know..." Every part of my body said that this was suspiciously and obviously similar to something else, but I couldn't help being intrigued.

I could offer you immortality.

Again, what? "Immortality? Like, live forever?

The being almost seemed to sigh.

Yes, that is right. I am older than creation and such things would not be beyond my capabilities once I regain but a fraction of my power. You would not need food or drink as often, though you will still desire it. Physical harm may tear your flesh, but with just a bit of care you will find yourself healing within hours instead of days. You will not age, taste poison, break under duress, or a thousand other things that would normally affect a mortal. Your endurance will be great but not infinite. You would stand with the greatest of existence, and be more renown than any other mortal.

Fame? "Why would you offer that kind of power to me?"

I am in dire need. The instinct to do whatever is necessary to survive is not limited to ponykind.

Immortal. Could I really be that way? What would others say? Did I deserve this?

"So, I become your vessel, take you to a new home, you get out of me, and in return I become immortal?"

Yes.

I couldn't help but think there was something I wasn't being told. Some kind of string I was unwittingly allowing to become attached. Perhaps this was just too good to be true. I should probably talk to my friends in a vague nonchalant way about it, get their advice. But thinking was not quite my strong suit, so my mind took action.

"Okay."

I have your acceptance?

"Yeah? So what now?"

Darkness swept around my body in torrents, blackening my eyes and staining my fur.

Now I take control. Thank you for agreeing, it is important for possession rites. I will return your exceptional form after I crush any hope remaining in this world.

I instantly tried to yell for help. Fly away. Anything as realization struck me, but it was too late. I couldn't control myself. I could only watch through my own eyes like the puppet I had become.

Thank you. The Endless Dark shall rise again, without the chains of the Lunar Princess resisting me, and Creation shall fall as it has countless times before. Your body rumbles with pegasus magic, so powerful and pure. But your mind is so weak, and you will not fight my will when you have given your soul so graciously to my magic.
And what does your mind hold dear that I may destroy first?

What had I done?

Blistering pain awaited me as I opened my eyes in shock. I couldn't see anything but blinding light as I gasped out in suffering. I heard Twilight say something, and then I blacked out.

I awoke sometime later, trying to open my eyes only to find that there was a blindfold over them. The pain had dulled to a constant aching and itching across my entire chest. I panicked in the darkness, my thrashing only serving to tear open scabs and break stitching.

I tried to speak, merely croaking a bit. I heard somepony trot over and felt magic course over my injuries.

"Calm down Loyalty. It's going to be okay. You have major lacerations and have lost a lot of blood through a torn artery in both your wing and chest."

I tried to move, but my limbs and wings were strapped down.

"Twi'?" I managed to choke out.

"You are severely hurt and you need to stop moving. The slash from the manticores claws cut into your heart and lungs. I have been repairing them the best I can. Just go back to sleep."

"Twi', it was..."

"Go to sleep Loyalty! You’re going to kill yourself!"

"...all my fault."

Then I blacked out.

The next afternoon, I woke up lying on a large flat stone, finding myself able to breathe despite the fact that I was on the verge of death just hours ago. Thanks to Twilight's knowledge of medical magic the cuts across my chest had formed thick scabs and with any luck, would only leave minor scars. As I looked around the small clearing I found that the flower patch had been cleared and a fire pit had been established next to a couple of tents. I turned to see Twilight looking at me with an equal mixture of anger and confusion.

"Twi'?"

She glared from the stance, looking deep into my eyes. "Why was it your fault," she spat out. It was a command, not a question.

I thought about what to say for a moment. Then I decided on the truth.

"If I let it take control of me to go somewhere, it would make me mostly immortal."

She cocked her head and stared at me in a mixture of awe and disgust.

"You accepted."

I looked down in shame.

"Without talking to any of your friends?"

"I..."

She stood up, fires burning in her eyes. "You didn't consult your closest friends on what was so obviously a trap by a being of immense power?"

"It all seemed so true..."

“The best lies usually do. And I thought she was telling me the truth. Just more lies wrapped in half-truths."

Wait...she? "Who told you that?"

She stuttered, eyes darting in panic. "Nopony! Just myself. Just myself." She laid down, repeating that to herself over and over, almost shell-shocked by a simple question.

I rolled onto my back, aching as one of the scabs on my chest began to bleed lightly. So many questions ran through my head. What happened to the sun and the moon yesterday? What was the creature that ruined the world? Who was talking to Twilight in my absence?

And possibly the most important question of all, would I ever be able to live with myself after making such a terrible decision.

That night Twilight sat far away from me, deep in thought. After a while of silence, she pulled out the radio and started some sounds that I couldn't hear, listening for a few minutes. Then she stood up, changed the song, and walked over to me.

And I will Neverrrrrrrrrrrrr

Be Forgiven

And I will Neverrrrrrrrrrr

Ever Forget

The tune was sad and full of regret. The singer, whoever he was, sang with pure emotion. What distinguished him was not his vocal pitch, but the tears that he was undoubtedly shedding. Twilight stopped right in front of me. I turned onto my side to face her, dried tears on my cheek from crying after our last conversation. Then she calmly sat down and looked at me with a neutral glance, but from her, it seemed like the warmest visage she would ever portray.

"Okay. I will give you one last chance. What happened?"

I sighed and looked up at her. Her eyes were almost pleading for the truth.

"I was looking for my favorite napping cloud the night before..." I began. I told her it all. From the cave and the whispers to the darkness and its deal. I stopped when I almost said how I could still see out of my eyes when under its control. I didn't want to discuss what I had seen it do, the horrors I would see in my dreams for the rest of my life.

She listened intently, frowning at some parts, nodding at others. Occasionally she would ask for me to stop, go over and listen the radio, and then return, beckoning me to continue. When I finished she simply looked at me with a faint level of pity.

"I am so, so sorry."

I couldn't believe her. It was my fault, dammit! I deserved harsh words and beatings, not sympathy. I deserved to be held accountable for everything I had done!

My mind ran chaotic. All I wanted was to be forgiven, but I couldn’t accept it until I had forgiven myself. And I could never do that.

"It was quite persuasive. I might've made the same decision in your place."

"I don't deserve that," I managed to tell her.

"What?" she exclaimed. "My kindness? I saw a power beyond anypony's comprehension trick a naïve and frankly ignorant pegasus into a deal that was too good to be true. Maybe you aren't all bad."

Hope, bright and dim at the same time, began to swell in my heart for the first time since the event. If what she said was true, maybe it really wasn’t my fault. Maybe in time I could forgive myself for making that mistake, at the very least. Though I’d never forgive the deaths of those I knew and loved.

“You... forgive me?"

"No," she said coolly. Then she smirked just a smidge. "But I accept you. And I finally understand. Understanding is all I really wanted from you. My anger was at the fact that nothing about any of this has made sense."

It was a start. The very beginning of a friend in the aftermath. Perhaps there was hope for me yet.

"So when will we move onwards?"

She returned to her previous impassive tone. "Dawn. Get to sleep, we'll have lots of ground to cover, and it’s already midnight."

I laid down, the bandages around my stomach clenching lightly. Tomorrow we would continue the nine hour journey to New Appleoosa. Between a three-legged unicorn and a pegasus that had almost been mauled to death by a manticore we weren't in any condition to travel, but we had a mission and one way or another I would see it through to the end.

I contemplated the words the ‘Endless Dark’ had spoken. It was evident it had something to do with Nightmare Moon, and it also knew both Celestia and Luna before Discord. As I tussled with the riddles wrapped in tricks that were his words I felt my body give in to exhaustion.

Chapter Four: Finding Some Emotion

The sunlight peeked through the dense canopy of the Everfree Forest, awaking me from my slumber. The scent of cooked plants filled my nostrils, motivating me to move my weary limbs. I rolled over, wincing slightly as I leaned onto the injured part of my chest. Looking up I could see a small magical fire, likely enchanted not to give off any smoke to ensure that the nearby creatures wouldn't be inclined to investigate. Slowly I stood up and noticed Twilight sitting on a rock munching on some toasted gardenia flowers as she once again fiddled with her radio. She turned to me, looking for a moment before shifting the meal sitting in front of me before setting it down again. She then turned back around.

My portion was larger than it had been the last time we ate. An act of kindness or one of necessity due to my injury? I shrugged and started eating, hoping to regain some strength to carry me through the journey ahead.

After I finished my meal, I trotted over to Twilight. She was already done eating, and as soon as I walked over to her she slid the radio back into her backpack, turned, and stared at me.

"What?"

She seemed a bit angry at my appearance.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

She sighed and relaxed her body. "Sure. Let's go."

I rolled my eyes. Even for the circumstances she seemed very high strung. Maybe some idle conversation would help as we followed the tracks across the plains towards the new Appleoosa.

"So... how did you get a radio? I only remember the richest ponies getting them in Canterlot."

She glared at me while walking. Scanning my face for mockery or scorn, she sighed before answering.

"Princess Celestia sent me one to use as a journal. It records spoken words as well as music. I only had a couple of days of notes on there, but anything other than music from before the event is now gone."

"How do they work?"

"There are magical gems connected to wires inside of it that act as transmitters between sound waves and a sensitive vibration recorder device."

I tried to keep up; magic tech was not my forte.

"Yeah. So what does it have on it?"

She stopped and turned to face me. "Not your concern Loyalty."

Okay, tense topic.

"Any idea what 'New' Appleoosa is like now?" I asked, hoping to get a straight answer out of her for once.

After scoffing at the comment - "'New' Appleoosa" - she smiled with almost a nostalgic look, "Happiest place out here. It's mostly peaceful, and kept safe. The monarch there will understand me I am sure. She is a sensible pony," she said with finality. But then she frowned. "But before we enter I will have to tell you protocol in the place. And give you a new name."

"Of course. So you have been there?"

She glared ahead, trotting ever so faster. "Yes. I went there quickly to check on the place. Then I returned to Ponyville."

"Must've been a short visit. Only there for about a day I'd suppose. I mean if you woke up from the... event... soon after. It would have been ten hours there and back and I came back after one day."

"Shut up! Yes, I didn't stay there long!"

"Why not?"

"Somepony convinced me to go."

I looked at her questioningly. "Who? Any relation to the mare you have been talking to behind my back?" I said abruptly.

She stopped trotting and looked at me with suspicion, then with sadness.

"I can't tell you Dash. I don't even understand it yet. But when I do, and I will, I will let you know. Okay?"

Her words seemed a little comforting, but left me just as confused as I had been before.

"What don't you know? Does it have to do with..."

"I don't know myself Dash. And that's what disturbs me most."

She continued onward, as I trotted close behind.

Two hours later Twilight and I stopped right before the crest of a grassy hill. She slid on her stomach and gestured for me to huddle next to her. I took a peek over the hill and couldn't believe what I saw.

There before us was the remains of a small settlement I had never seen before, shrouded behind a veil of blackness. Within the confines of the dark dome that surrounded the area, small homes could be seen. Those that hadn’t been completely destroyed were burned or battered. Wooden posts, stone bricks and roofing materials were strewn about the area. The town had both pony-made structures and buffalo tents. Nothing was left perfectly intact.

That sentiment was mirrored in what had been done to those that had lived there. Hanging from several broken buildings were the lynch remains of ponies and buffalo alike. Many had been sliced from neck to tail, entrails hanging out and dripping onto the streets below. Flies buzzed around them, laying eggs within.

All of the surviving inhabitants were locked in cages, sporting various wounds of the flesh. Some were just lying dead within the metal bars. The building closest to the cages sported a large wooden block upon which a half-eaten buffalo had been left. The bones in his legs were visible as all the meat around them had been devoured. Buckets sat on the ground nearby, filled with leftovers from other meals.

Then there were the new inhabitants of the village. Manticores sat high on rooftops or stalked around the edge of town as changelings chatted in the streets or worked to move the prisoners into the ‘chop shop.’ There were at least a dozen manticores and many more changelings that now lived here in their own twisted version of harmony.

The cobblestone streets in the town ran red with blood that flowed into the adjacent river. The bridge that was to be our crossing was missing, but the large blocks of chiseled stone sticking out of the river at irregular intervals seemed to indicate where it used to be.

I started to get up; ready to kill the bastards responsible for this savagery, but Twilight grabbed my tail in her magic and pulled me down.

"Pick your battles Loyalty. We can't take them. I'm still burnt out from the magic I had to use on the manticores a day ago. You can't fight them all, and neither can I."

“So we just sit here and let it happen?" I hissed back at her.

"No. We trudge on and find a way to kill the thing that started all of this. What you're suggesting is a suicide mission."

I grumbled unhappily. “What is the big shroud thing over the town?”

Twilight considered this momentarily. “I would assume that the ‘Endless Night’ entity has created some sort of force field around the town. Most likely semipermeable to keep the civilians inside, but allow monsters to go back and forth as they please. I wonder if he is controlling the manticores to keep them civil around the changelings or whether they naturally began a symbiotic relationship. I hope Endless Night isn’t here, he might be able to detect us at this distance.” She looked at me trembling and sighed. “We would be outnumbered and outmatched even if we could get inside.”

I knew she was right, but my whole body was just burning with hatred and the desire to break the skulls of every murderous creature down there. I had never had this feeling before, the yearning to kill. It felt invigorating and frightening at the same time. My mind erupted with all sorts of justifications. They deserved to die for the atrocities they committed. They earned their death.

"C'mon Loyalty, let's go."

Sigh.

"Fine." Let's let them die.

But I didn't say that. Even so, I was sure she heard it in my head. Something about how Twilight glared at me looked apprehensive.

I'm letting them die. I made them die. Amounting to failure should be my special talent.

All I said was fine, even though nothing was fine. Ponies were being mutilated due to my mistake. I wouldn't walk away. I just couldn't.

She stared at me as I stood stock still. "Loyalty?"

"I said fine. You go."

She began pleading, most unlike her. "You can't do anything."

I turned to her with a cold glare. "But I won't do nothing."

She closed her eyes and sighed, as though realizing the fate that she was resided to because of my choice. "Fuck you Loyalty. Fuck you. I didn’t want to do this. Should’ve known nothing would your mind change."

Then she smacked me in the face. I fell over stunned. She trotted over and stood above me, tears streaming from her eyes as she held me in place with her magic. She raised her hoof and looked at me with a hint of regret. "You're right dammit. But I just can't let you." Then the hoof dropped.

Everything vanished as I lost consciousness.

I awoke from my involuntary slumber, feeling a sense of Deja vu. This time there were no words of comfort, not even pain to hang onto as an anchor. Just silence.

Looking around, the scenery was unfamiliar as usual. There was no campfire this time, just a small clearing in a valley. Trees lined the tops of the valley, and I could hear, if I focused, the faint bubbling of a small brook. I didn't see Twilight anywhere nearby, she must be out doing things that three legged unicorns do after the end of the world, whatever those things are. She probably wouldn't be gone long since she left her backpack and radio.

Her radio.

I slowly got up and trotted to the radio. What was on this thing? I ran my hooves across its surface before accidentally hitting a button.

"........and then she tried to save them. So I made the only logical choice I could in that situation. She would've killed herself if I had just stood by and let her go through with it. But, “ sniffle “it made me care a little! It was so much easier when I could just hate her for all the terrible things she's done. Now I can say it wasn't all her fault, she actually wants to try to make up for it all. I have trouble dealing with her. Not because of her actions or how close we were, but because it reminds me of what I used to be like. And that hurts for so many reasons. End."

The radio stopped and silence returned to the clearing. I wanted to play more of these entries, ones from previous days, but I had no idea how to work the device.

So I sat down and thought about what Twilight had recorded. She sounded proud of me and angry at herself. But she hadn't done anything wrong that I knew of. What happened in New Appleoosa, I wonder? If only I could get some answers out of her. Something I had noticed about the recording was that it didn't quite sound like Twilight. It was as though she was talking through a tunnel. I picked up the radio once more, flipping random knobs and switches. Nothing happened until the radio was wrenched out of my hooves by some purple magic.

"What are you doing?" She yelled frantically.

"I just wanted to listen to some music! I didn't know you still used it as a journal." I turned to face her and shrank away.

Somehow that seemed to calm her down. "What did you listen to?"

"Your recording of the time you knocked me out to let ponies die." I said with a hint of venom, previous events suddenly returning with a vast sense of anger.

"Yeah, I recorded that after I set you down in this clearing. And stop looking at me like that, it was the only choice. We can't draw any attention to ourselves or put ourselves into any more danger than we have to if we want to get to New Appleoosa safely. There were dozens of them Loyalty. I could take maybe five with what magic I had. In your state, optimistically you could take three. I don't want you to die."

That last comment made me a little more somber, but relaxed. After a few moments of silence she seemed satisfied that our conversation was concluded and grabbed her things.

"You sounded different."

"Hmm?"

"Like your voice had been cracked or something."

"Oh, um, having to use my magic to make recordings created a scratchy copy." She didn't look me in the eyes when she said that.

"Wait, so you're saying instead of having to talk, you use magic?"

"Well, the spell takes a physical imprint of the users vocal cords and transports the desired message using the correct tones for the user. It was made for unicorns specifically, so in essence it only accesses magic, but a mute unicorn would be unable to use it. It is quite sophisticated, if easy to use."

"I thought you said it comes out scratchy." I asked suspiciously.

"Uh, well yes. Except I had expended quite a bit of magic recently not to mention I had to carry you all the way back here. As a result, I didn't have a lot of spare magic and the quality of the recording suffered."

She had finished gathering her things and started trotting over towards the side of the valley. "Come on."

I stood and followed her out to the train tracks, but when she turned right I went left. She didn't notice for a moment. Then she galloped over and stood firmly in front of me. "Where do you think you’re going?"

I pushed her out of the way. "Back to the village."

She trotted in front of me and held a hoof against my chest wound. "No you're not." she said firmly.

I glared into her eyes, but before I could start yelling at her she calmly talked me down.

"It's gone Loyalty. All gone. They burned it down and left." She looked down in sadness and couldn't meet my gaze. She stood holding me back with one of her three hooves, balancing herself out with one wing, and I did the only rational thing my mind could think of with all the pent up anger.

I smacked her as hard as I could, right across her face. It opened up a cut on her cheek that slowly trickled blood down the right side of her face.

"I might've inadvertently let a lot of ponies die. But you consciously made the choice to let those ponies die by deciding not to help them. We could've tried, Twilight. What happened to you? What happened to kindness? I held my tongue about how I had seen the mangled remains of those manticores you so viciously slaughtered, because it was in self-defense, but letting ponies die?"

She seemed between shock, anger, and sadness. Struck speechless.

"I don't know if I can travel with you if you care so little about other's lives. Tell me what happened Twilight. What changed?"

She stared blankly at me, as though not understanding the question.

"If I don't then we all die."

"You don't know that."

"You have no idea how much I do and do not know."

"Then tell me! Dammit Twilight, why can't get through to you!"

"I'm broken, okay, is that what you wanted to hear? Everypony I loved is dead, and now I'm chasing after the monster responsible for not just their deaths, but the deaths of the two most powerful ponies in all of Equestria! You are the only one left alive and I should fucking hate you! Why can't I hate you..." She slunk down, crying heavy tears and heading her face from view.

I couldn't respond for a moment. I had no idea what she was going through. My emotions were all poured out the day it happened. I had spent hours crying and beating myself, convinced that I was personally responsible for every death. Now my feelings had been replaced by a dull sadness, something I kept bottled up. I have dealt with failure and crippling sadness a lot in my life. Twilight though...

"I want to hate you, kill you... but I can't... And it isn't just because I want you to do something... It's because I need you." she choked out as her tears mixed with the blood that was now running down her muzzle.

I sat down, holding her in my hooves.

"It's going to be okay Twilight. We can do this."

She looked at me with such certainty and said, "It's not going to be okay. Not for me."

“Please Twi'. Tell me what you know. I can help."

“I can't tell you what I know yet. When we get to Appleoosa, maybe, okay? Not until then."

I sighed. I guess I can let this one go for now.

"Just... talk to me okay? I don't want this to be the rest of our lives. Bickering and spewing hate when we used to be so close. I miss the old Twilight."

She finally stopped crying. "So do I. The old Twilight had things that I don’t, like friends."

So we sat for a while. I didn't want to be the first to move for fear of provoking another breakdown. I just had to wait for her. I was so angry, so sad, so confused. But with her in such a fragile state at the moment, I had to take up the mantle as the strong one.

I frowned. “Listen, Twilight.” She turned to face me, her eyes puffy and red. “Do you blame me for all of their deaths?”

She swallowed hard. “A little. It’s like a nagging in my head, telling me that it was your fault. That if you hadn’t… hadn’t been born that none of this would have happened. We used to be great friends, and now the only thing that connects us at all is that we are the last of the elements. I can’t believe all four of them died…” Her eyes drifted downwards as tears returned, unbidden.

I was getting close to tears thinking once more about all the ponies that I had come to love since coming to Ponyville all those years ago.

"And even poor Spike, the little guy was still so young. I know how important he was to you Twi, and I understand you probably don't want to talk about it, just... I.... I'm so sorry."

Twilight looked up into my eyes confused. “Spike isn’t dead.”

“He’s alive?! Where is he?”

I had jumped up at that comment, excited. Several flights over Ponyville had, I assumed, confirmed only two survivors, but Spike was very small. Maybe he got out somehow, against all odds, and Twilight took care of him. That unfortunately brought up the question of where Twilight had left him.

“Oh, well I assume he is somewhere beyond New Appleoosa, in that general region. I haven’t really seen him in quite a while.”

My brow furrowed. “How long is quite a while?”

Remaining seated, she tapped her chin while contemplating. “Probably a few days, but I can’t be certain. In fact, I bet I’ll meet up with him soon.”

A few days ago the world was torn asunder. Concern flooded my mind at the possible implications of Twilight’s claim. Was Spike really alive?

“Twilight, did you see him since the destruction?” Note to self, come up with a better name for the day I betrayed ponykind. Rainbow Dash Sucks – National Holiday.

She bit her lip before speaking. “Um… No. I have definitely not. I just assumed that he probably made it out of Ponyville just fine and went out to New Appleoosa. That’s what Spike would do, right? So I would end up seeing him there, right? Those are just logical conclusions.”

“Are you sure he didn’t die Twilight?”

“Of course I am Loyalty. I think I know more about what happened to our friends than you do. Spike is just fine. I don’t have to see him to know it.” She bristled before losing her composure and starting to cry. “I left him all alone…” The rest was incomprehensible.

I sat down at this revelation. Twilight couldn’t accept Spike was dead. That was the only explanation, because there was no way that Spike would survive the destruction alone, make his way far from Ponyville to a new post-apocalypse settlement that had just sprung up, and find Twilight in a few days – which was coincidentally the time that Twilight found me. I couldn't believe Twilight was in such a state of denial that she couldn't see what seemed so clear even to me. I suppose that's to be expected from somepony who couldn't do a thing as the closest thing to her son was killed just a few feet away.

So we sat for a while. I didn't want to be the first to move for fear of provoking another breakdown once this one winded down, so I just had to wait for her. Despite being angry, sad, and incredibly confused, I kept my emotion in check so that I could be there for this infuriating mare. Before too long, she composed herself and looked up at me.

"Can we go now?"

I looked at her.

"Yes."

We got up and started trotting down the tracks towards Appleoosa. I glanced over my shoulder, imagining the burnt husks of ponies amongst charred buildings, the fleshy remains picked at. Then I shook my head, and filed that away. There would be a reckoning for that, just not today.

"How much farther?"

"We've made about four hours of travel in the past three days. Not the speediest journey, but we are almost halfway there."

'New' Appleoosa here we come.

Chapter Five: A Reason to Hope

Author's Note

Whoops...

For some reason the uploaded version of this chapter has some errors in both text and corrections. There were massive lines of code that made this roughly four thousand word chapter twelve thousand words of nonsense. My apologies!

I have gone and fixed this issue so it is readable.

Chapter Five: A Reason to Hope

We didn't talk much for the next four hours, which were mostly uneventful. There was a run-in with a couple timberwolves, and an angry griffon that took potshots at us from the sky, but thankfully we were able to escape both encounters without adding on to our already considerable list of injuries.

The timberwolves merely ran across our path before Twilight cast a few bolts of flame and scared them off. I was wondering why they were on the outskirts of the Everfree instead of deep within, but Twilight began speculating before I could answer.

"I wonder if it is the lack of active predators within the forest that is encouraged growth and leading to expansion of territory, or the inadequate defenses of those now living in small clusters that allows the timberwolves to hunt ponies instead of bunnies. Either way, it appears that timberwolves are no longer confined to the forest and are growing in number. The plains are going to get more dangerous as the days pass."

The griffon with the crossbolt seemed convinced that killing us was a good idea was much more dangerous. However after Twilight kept picking all of his bolts out of the air and throwing them back with much higher accurate and rate of fire, he decided to make himself scarce.

Walking seemed to take forever. Flight was painful, but I still hovered every now and then to try and break the monotony. I just hated this incessant silence. It ate away at me, poisoning my insides and clouding my mind. I could think clearly, and that lead me to parts of my past I didn’t want to focus on. Steps became automatic as I stared blankly forward; my body trudging on. Words became soundless and incomprehensible as the wind turned into an orchestra. It was deafeningly calm.

Then she finally broke it.

"Why?"

I didn't answer at first, unsure of the question.

"Why did you accept, I mean. You said that that thing offered you immortality, but I don't remember you ever being the type of pony to be so easily tempted by the idea of living forever."

Well that was an uncomfortable topic. I wanted to avoid this, but her pleading voice and my degraded pride allowed the answer.

"I'd gotten a letter in the mail about a week before the incident. It was a letter telling me I didn't make the Wonderbolts. As petty and narcissistic as it sounds, I just couldn't handle knowing that after all my training I still wasn't good enough to make the cut. I thought I was insignificant and I was willing to do anything to get another chance, to show everypony that I really was the best. I guess I considered immortality as some sort of compensation. Who wouldn’t remember the immortal pegasus? Stupid. Fucking stupid. Don't ask again."

She shut up. The answer hit her like a brick. I choked up a bit. It was hard facing the reasons behind my choice. My hope was that all my guilt had been cried out by now, but it wasn't even close. The truth hurt, bled me dry. The emotion pent up within me caused tremors. My mind went off kilter, fading in and out as the path continued. Left hooves. Right hooves. Left hooves. Right hooves.

Then, all of a sudden, I stopped walking. Well, I was still moving my hooves, but I wasn't moving forward. Then I looked, really looked. Twilight lay in front of me crying, I was suspended in the air by her magic.

I stopped shifting my hooves about. I could taste blood in my mouth and felt stinging pain across various parts of my face.

"What's up Twi'?"

She looked up, eyes red from crying. Her body was folded in on itself and I could hear a sad sniffle before the magic around me dispersed. Standing upon the ground once more, the silent tears begged questioning.

"What's wrong?" I said concernedly.

She merely looked at me with those puffy eyes.

"You don't remember? Of course you don't. I thought you had broken."

She moved a couple steps back.

"Twi'," I said a little more urgently, "What happened?"

"You were so quiet while you were walking. I thought I had upset you asking about why you accepted the offer. Then you tripped. But you wouldn't stop trying to move forward, like you were possessed or something. You smashed your face into the ground over and over. I yelled but you wouldn't stop. Then suddenly you got up and continued walking until you rammed a tree. I couldn't stop you from hurting yourself so you were put in the magic bubble for a few hours. What happened to you?"

I sat, shocked at this revelation. What had happened? I racked my memories. I had just been walking, step after step. But the guilt felt just like the silence, infecting my insides. So I walked until it hurt, because it was what I deserved. Then I hurt some more, wanting to feel it. That was what I desired. Pain appeased my burning guilt. I had deserved all of that pain, because I had dealt so much. Each cut muffled the screaming in my mind, and silenced my sadness for a moment. So the more I hurt, the less I hurt.

"Twi'?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't do this. It's too hard, too not me. I don't really know how to kill. The emotion burns inside me when I'm angry, but I don't really have it in me to snuff out life. And the fact that I already have hurts, Twilight. Just like the silence. Just like the guilt. How did we end up like this? It isn’t fair! I never wanted any of this!"

Before I knew it I was crying. I said I was going to be strong - what a lie. There was no being strong after such a disaster; there was only this cheap excuse for life. After everything that happened I couldn't just move on, I could only dwell on the mistakes I've made and hold onto the memories of the thousands of lives I had ended.

Then she did the last thing I would have expected from her, she hugged me. I couldn't believe that she felt such sympathy towards me. I wanted to hold her back, be friends again, but I could only find misery in my heart. The harmony was gone, and would never come back.

I was nothing more that a traitor to all of Equestria.

But I kept pouring myself out to her.

"I can feel it, ya know? In some sort of perverse way, I can feel the pain of everypony that died. They didn't deserve that. And all my friends are gone. All I have left is you, and you have every right to hate me. You should’ve killed me when you saw me. I would’ve. But just like Fluttershy you showed compassion and let my sorry self live.

I also don't want to lose you, and yet, I feel like I already have. You now embody harmony and I have nothing! I’m not even loyalty anymore! What can I do for anyone but die?

But most of all, I just hate myself so much. The kind of hate that burns your soul. What kind of pony thinks that they can atone for what I’ve done? I know there are ponies who’ve killed hundreds by their stupid mistakes, like Luna. But I know a stupid pegasus whose fuck-up has killed millions. I’m just a monster now, and I should be put down! The only thing that stops me is you, and that will end eventually. When will whatever loyalty I have left run out?”

She started crying too, her tears running down her face and onto my neck. I wanted to run. I wanted to stay. I really just wanted to be gone, or rather, to never have been born.

Then she spoke.

"You will be happier than you can imagine. You will live, and you will thrive. This I swear to you Rainbow. In the end, it is you that will find peace, not me. I know that right now things are hard, and right now things seem impossible, but I can take solace in knowing that I can give you a life. You should acknowledge that there is always life after death, even after something like this. Don’t give up so easily when victory is achievable. With loyalty and magic, there is nothing we can’t do, even if we have to carry honesty, laughter, generousity, and kindness on our own."

She kept talking. I listened to bits and pieces, but it was her tone that was important - the general feel. She talked of wondrous places, possible futures, what was and what will be. It was all so abstract and yet so precise. I couldn't help but sense that what she said was both the absolute truth and complete fiction. Through her voice, however, I could feel the power of honesty. There were no lies. My crying made most of what she said too difficult to hear. But she did say that she would give her life for me.

Why would anyone ever do that?

"Stop." I heard myself say. "Please stop. I just want to lay here. Can we go to New Appleoosa in the morning?"

She glanced upwards, noting the fading clouds before smiling gently at me.

"Of course we can. But New Appleoosa awaits us tomorrow, and with it, the rest of our future. Be prepared, and sleep soundly Rainbow."

I wanted to contemplate things for a while, but I misjudged the effects that my facial injuries combined with physical strain had on my body. Within minutes I was asleep, dreaming of friends and some faint aspects of hope.

I woke up at the crack of dawn, at least that was the assumption. The dull aura of light barely bled through the clouds. I carefully got up from beside Twilight, who was still soundly asleep, and walked to a nearby hill. Behind us loomed the Everfree, from it I could imagine the glowing eyes of the formidable beasts that dwell there, daring us to try and survive another night within. In front of us the mostly open plains gave me sight lines out to the horizon. So I sat on the hill, imagining New Appleoosa. In a week of absolute torment across Equestria, how could it remain as happy as Twilight said? Or was that a lie to keep my hopes up? I wanted to fly there, curiosity overcoming me. But I took a moment to be myself for once. The pony that wanted to be a Wonderbolt. So I flew despite the pain.

I practiced soaring through wind currents, catching updrafts and avoiding choppy winds. I did loops and twists, turns and spirals and corkscrews and complicated moves that I hadn't done since Wonderbolt tryouts. I flew for so long I lost track of time. The air seemed so pure, like it was an extension of my being. I wanted to submerse myself in it, breathe it. I floated for a moment, silently thinking. The pain was burning in my wings, but I just ignored it.

Go for it.

I flapped my wings and went straight up, shooting right to the cloud layer. I braced my hooves on the clouds, looking straight down at the hill I had come from. Picking a point to serve as an anchor, I closed my eyes for but a moment.

Go for it.

I pushed off the clouds with an aggressive force, my wings flapping hard. Wind whipped past me in a fury as I lost altitude. My hooves were stretched out I saw a faint glow around my hooves, and clenched my teeth the force of overpassing the sound barrier grew taught around me. Tears ran unwillingly from my eyes. Then the glow became more solid, and I hit a wall.

I was catapulted backwards, the whiplash cracking my neck and bruising my back. The raging fire of agony coursed through my veins and inflamed my body. I glided with all the elegance of a rock, trying to control my fall. The ground came up and hit me with an angry blow.

I waited there, on that cold hill, amongst the dry grass, waiting for Twilight to find me. The wind softly flowed above me and the grass ebbed like the tide. I could almost appreciate the beauty amidst the wrenching fire that covered my veins. Approaching shock, a sound called out in the distance.

“Rainbow! Rainbow Dash!”

But I couldn't call back. Whatever ran my voice was too damaged to work.

Then she found me. She had all of her things and a determined look in her eyes, seeing my prone form just over the hill. Galloping over quickly and asking me what was wrong, she started preforming various healing spells on me. Tears simply streamed out in response.

Eventually she saw, and tried to ask me what was wrong. I tried to stop them and looked her in the eyes. I was fine, my eyes said, and nothing was wrong. I had just hurt myself being stupid. But it was all a lie, and knowing the signs of a lie all too well she returned my stare. Her eyes rolled. But this time it was just too hard to say. So I stared back, I'm fine, nothing wrong. She finally receded unhappily, tending to my wounds quickly before picking me up. I shrugged from her grasp, gave a gruff let's go, and trotted off in severe pain. She looked at me quite concernedly, but just like that the heartfelt connection from last night seemed to have been shattered.

I couldn't tell her anything. The past hurt too much. Who I was was too much to bare. I needed to forget, and talking would only make me remember. The truth was that I was afraid. I was no longer the same pony. I couldn't do a Sonic Rainboom. I couldn't save ponies. I couldn't make a friend.

And most of all, I couldn't stop hurting. Whatever I might tell Twilight later, the guilt doesn't go away. It eats and burns on the inside, tormenting you with every step. Not even the big thing, every single tiny mistake was put into focus. Insulting someone and ruining their day. Having my pride cloud my judgement and making a mistake I should never have. Not being strong enough to resist the influence of hate.

But the emotion could wait, because in Twilight's eyes I saw that she knew something about the future she couldn't tell me, and whatever happened, I would make sure that she was the one to be happy. She deserved it. Everypony deserved it. Except me.

I looked up once more before stepping onto the train tracks, my eyes gravitating towards where the sun would be.

Goddesses save her. Save them all, just take me instead.

There was no answer, nor did I expect one. I just put one hoof in front of the other, Twilight following close behind. I explained how I crashed while doing a reckless maneuver. She scolded me. One of us makes a joke. We both laugh. All of it was a facade for concern, sadness, and the guilt. Somehow I felt that she had it too. But we carried on, as that was all we could do.

The silence was getting to me. Twilight seemed withdrawn as we continued, keeping her distance from me and conversation minimal. I wanted to know what she was thinking. After her breakdown she kept from mentioning the town that was gutted. I didn’t even know the name of the place.

Continuing along the trail at a steady pace we were finally less than an hour away from the small town of New Appleoosa. The idea that there were still towns that hadn't been wiped out by the creature gave me some hope. Hope that after all this was over that maybe Equestria would be able to build itself back up and rise from the ashes, but first we had a job to do.

"There will be difficulty at New Appleoosa." Twilight stated, finally breaking her hour long silence.

I looked at her quizzically.

"Why? I don't look like me, and you've been here before."

"They will recognize me and want to capture me, same as you. I'm going to need a heavy cloak; I don't have any more changeling serum."

Okay what?

"Capture you? I don't understand?"

She sighed.

"The last time I was there I was… different. So much has happened in the world, and as an alicorn they would expect me to save them. I can’t help them anymore than they are already being helped, and I need to go with you to finish this. Imagine if Celestia..." Her voice cracked for a moment, before she pushed herself into continuing.

“If Celestia was on a mission to save the world, and showed up in New Appleoosa. There would be a riot, wouldn’t there?”

I nodded. “I guess so. A lot of ponies would want to know why she wasn’t helping.”

“Exactly. She couldn’t tell them what she was doing, because then they might try to help and get hurt in the process. Or worse, they might get in the way somehow. Not to mention that there could be spies within any population center that could reveal her plans and doom Equestria. I can’t tell them what’s going on any more than I can tell you some of what I know. It could inadvertently hinder us.”

That was an interesting theory. I suppose she knows more about this than I do, psychology was never something I studied in school.

"So what do we do when we get there, it isn’t exactly easy to hide wings and a horn?"

"Wing and a horn, Loyalty.”

I grimaced. Two steps forward…

"Regardless, the plan is relatively simple. I am going to disguise myself and we will walk in the front gate. They won’t recognize us as long as I can get a damn cloak.” She frowned, looked around at the mostly empty field. Then she gestured to a small shack near a few fruit trees on the edge of the horizon, far to the right of where New Appleoosa would be.

The large Appleoosan plains were coated in tall brownish grasses, and not as flat as one would expect. Only around Appleoosa did the plains flatten out. On the outskirts, the land was very hilly, sometimes even sporting large valleys, and trees grew in sparse clusters. The eerie trees of the Everfree could be seen behind us, the opening where the train tracks emerged the only spot not covered in them.

“We're going over there?”

"Well I would assume so; where else would I get the cloak?"

“I dunno, where’d you get the changeling serum from?”

“Well from my treehouse obviously, where else?”

I didn’t have a response to that, so we both altered course to the right slightly. I was relieved to see New Appleoosa in the distance, the ramshackle walls of wood and stone slabs rising slightly above the earth. Dark grey and imposing, smoke billowed into the sky from behind the walls. Small outlines of larger buildings were outlined from behind the smog. Twilight seemed unconcerned with the city.

As we approached the shack it became obvious that nopony lived there. The windows were shattered and the wood was aged and rotting. It stood not much higher than we did, and Twilight nudged the broken door without much preamble. The house comprised entirely of the one central room, and there was nothing much but a small bed and bookshelf. Shattered glass was strewn about the room.

“Aha!”

Twilight had immediately torn the filthy drapes from the window and began to fashion a cloak for herself. It was a dark brown cloth that she simply covered her body with before tying two corners around her neck. She could’ve passed for anypony.

“Does it hide me well?”

I nodded briefly. “Yeah. Not much for looks though…”

Twilight probably rolled her eyes; I couldn’t see her face underneath the brown cowl. As I turned and began to leave, Twilight spoke softly.

“This really is our world now, isn’t it? Nothing will ever be the same. The best we will get is a shadow of what Equestria was.”

I took a deep breath. “It really is. We should totally make the next Equestria with more cider though.”

I turned with a bit of a smirk, hoping to get a grin from her. She had drawn her cloak back, but there was nothing but a look of sadness. As she walked past me and out the door, she silently muttered.

“I hope you do, Loyalty.”

There it was.

The homes, old western style, were aligned in a very organized style, with clear rows and columns. The wall around the town had sharpened logs pointing outward at the base. At least twelve hooves tall, the main 'gate' was guarded by half a dozen guards in full armor. Twilight didn't seem bothered in the slightest by the guards. In fact, she seemed positively cheery.

"We made it! Yes!"

She started for the gate, so I grabbed her tail and pulled her back.

"Shouldn’t you cover your face?" I asked her.

She turned to me for a moment, looking confused. Then reality dawned on her, and she almost smacked herself in the face.

"Oh yeah..."

Throwing the cloak on properly, we began to trot towards the main gate. The large opening had a unicorn with a serious look on her face.

I asked Twilight who it was, but she didn’t seem to know, or care.

We stood about ten hooves from the gate when the unicorn yelled at us.

“Who the hell are you then?”

Her voice wasn’t mad, but rather amused. Her yellow mane spilled out over her blue coat.

Twilight spoke. “Just some refugees here to respond to the call for soldiers. A unicorn and a pegasus.

The guard shrugged. “Well in you get. Try a find a place to stay a couple nights, the review process can take awhile.

I was nervous walking past her, but she had already dismissed our arrival. Twilight was, for some reason, grinning as we walked through the gate and into town. The entrance wasn’t exactly bustling with activity, but there were a few clusters of ponies here and there. Other ponies that were alive, and happy! I couldn’t contain my excitement either as we both walked down the trail, grinning like idiots.
We hadn’t trotted far into the small rows of buildings before Twilight stopped me in front of an older building that reeked of alcohol. The two story pub appeared to be on the verge of collapse, if the cracked support pillars were anything to go by.

"I love this place. Cheap boarding, no questions, and great atmosphere."

As I was about to open the door to the inn, she pulled me back, deciding to take a moment to lay down a few ground rules.

"Remember not to use either of our real names and don't talk about the Princesses. Our names are both far too well known. You can refer to me as Eclipse in public. What should I call you?"

"Loyalty." I piped up. "I mean… you already call me that anyways.

She looked concernedly for a moment before smiling a bit. "Let's go, the Rickety Sprocket awaits us!"

Well that isn't a strange name. She grabbed my hoof and pulled me inside.

It was dank, dark, and smelly. The large entrance room was just a bar with a few tables scattered about. The stairs, presumably to the room, was sulking in a dark corner. The ponies inside were either older stallions with grit and tough looks, or young fillies with suggestive clothing. I felt a tad uncomfortable around such a crowd.

"Isn't it great!" She beamed at me.

I smiled a little crookedly back. "Yeah, sure."

"Let's grab some seats!"

I felt in a surreal sense of awe as her entire persona shifted from the moment the town came into view. She must've had happy times here. I wonder what she did here a short time ago.

We sat at the bar, hooves on the counter.

"Barkeep! Two shots of whiskey! Hurricane Pegasus if you got it!"

The barpony looked over at her for a moment, briefly amused.

"Coming right up darlin'."

I looked straight at her with such shock.

"What has gotten into you?"

She looked at me and sighed.

"This place is really all that is left. It makes me so happy to see ponies able to find happiness even in such dark times. I like to think that it gives a decent portrayal of a pony’s spirit. Indomitable. So what if things are never the same again; isn’t this pretty good? I love this place, and staying here for a few nights was marvelous.”

I narrowed my eyes.

"I thought you were here for like a day?"

She glanced at me seriously.

"I'll tell you more about it later Loyalty, for now let's drink."

The shots were sitting in front of us, amber liquid swirling slowly in the small glasses. The barkeep must’ve supplied our drinks while we talked.

Soon we were drunk, the liquid turning in our heads, loosening us up. At some point Twilight got a room for us, with only one bed. Twilight must’ve been loaded on bits given how much I alone drank. We partied into the night with the rest of the rambunctious ponies that naturally appeared at such an hour. Most of the night blurred in my memories. I had flashes of running out into the night, Twilight dancing up on a table, and fleeing back into the bar after bothering some guards in our drunken stupor. I went up to our room at, I presumed, about three in the morning. I dropped like a log onto our bed, blacking out.

It felt good to forget.

Chapter Six: A Reason to Fight

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Record - Entries One Through Five

"Ahem.

Day one of my traveling’s with Rainbow Dash. She seems so different, so inexperienced. I need her back to what she was if we have any hope of accomplishing our mission. I've racked my memory as to the safest trail from here to New Appleoosa, as it is being called, but the trail is long, and I can only hope that we can avoid most of the struggles.

As I know, the sky will be cloudy and solid for a long time, so I must check the progression of day to night frequently using my magic. Despite this I sent Rainbow Dash up to the cloud layer in order to record this message. I still have no idea how to talk to her. Is anger an appropriate response, or am I being bitter? Regardless, the spell for this particular moment is done as follows."

There are a series of magical sounding crackles and spurts, before Twilight's voice, cracked but calculated, returns.

"Anyways, I need to find out where the camp is from our current location. We need to visit it. She has to see. I know the risks, but provided she has a level head nothing will happen that I cannot handle.

I wonder if it will even faze her. She truly seems to regret what she has done, but for all I know it could be a clever act. While there is plenty of evidence to the contrary, I think she is what I know she is. Time doesn't heal all wounds, some fester and get infected. I cannot believe I ever thought… thought…”

The voice cuts out to a heavy sigh full of emotion. Slowly and gently, Twilight resumes speaking.

“There is so much devastation due to her actions; I cannot let her go through the land without witnessing it. We will stop at the refugee camp. Perhaps if I was stronger we wouldn't have to just pass by, but this isn't about them, it’s about the greater good. Maybe if my horn hadn't been so damaged by the explosion, I would be able to fix this so much more than before. But for some reason I already made the decision and this is where I am now.

Seeing my home like that was… traumatic to say the least. I’m not sure it even is my home anymore. The hundreds of books I once organized and sorted every Thursday evening would forever be scattered in the wind. The slightly neurotic part of me wanted to pick up the remaining pages, chase after the ones blowing in the breeze, and try to put them back together for one final sorting, but there was work to be done so I walked away from them, from my friends, and from everything I ever knew back in Ponyville, knowing that it would be my last time every setting hoof in the town.

Thankfully, the elements were safe. It was a stroke of unusually good fortune that Celestia decided to have me hide the elements at the library, because there would be no recovering anything from Canterlot. She said it was so that if my friends and I needed them in an emergency, they would be on hoof. Was it really?

The fact remains that Luna and Celestia are dead, and nopony has seen Cadence. But she was in Canterlot, and nopony survived Canterlot. I cannot even begin to explain the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk when I cannot even understand it fully myself.

Maybe, just maybe, things don't turn out the way I know they will. Things can change. Eventually I will tell Dash everything, but I need to know first. I have this strange feeling I can’t shake however, and I don’t think I'll ever truly understand everything going on. Wouldn't that be a sad fate, doomed to everlasting ignorance.

I think I can see Dash on the way down, I will find time for another journal entry later. For organizational purposes I will both address the day from calamity at the start and end of every journal entry. This is the end of day one."

"Day two of this horrid travel. We ran into manticores in the Everfree Forest. I couldn't teleport Dash, and I couldn't let her see me, for lack of a better term, eliminate the creatures. Teleportation of others is to be done only under very specific circumstances or extremely dire emergencies due to the risks. It was mostly my fault anyways, I should’ve been watching myself instead of ensuring that Dash got away.

In addition to binding her wounds, I've administered plenty of magical aids, but she has not yet woken. Sometimes I wish she would just die, but that's not how it works. Fate has some plan for me, and despite my efforts it seems like we will both be weakly trotting towards the refugee camp.”

Light choking is heard before some coughs manage to clear the speaker’s voice.

"The spell worked perfectly, augmented by… it. I didn't mean to do what I did, but at this point it leaves me with little choice. I have started considering it a blessing mixed in with a curse, and even that leaves me perplexed as to my state of mind.

I managed to protect us both using a minimal amount of magic, but even so the burnout has left me with healing spells so poor that I would have already buried Dash if not for her inexplicable resilience. I've killed many times before, but this is the first time I’ve taken time to think about it. Somehow that pegasus is giving me back my conscience.”

Some shuffling is heard in the background. A large snap and the sound of ripping flesh cuts through the air as the sound of someone coughing up liquid is noticed by Twilight, and she no longer speaks to the device.

"Calm down Loyalty. It's going to be okay. You have major lacerations and have lost a lot of blood through a torn artery in both your wing and chest."

"Twi'?"

"You've been severely hurt and you need to stop moving. The slash from the manticores claws cut into your heart and lungs. I have been repairing them the best I can. Just go back to sleep."

"Twi', it was..."

"Go to sleep Loyalty! You’re going to kill yourself!"

"...all my fault."

Some magical sounds were heard, fizzing and bubbling as spells were cast. Fabric is ripped apart and the sound of quiet levitation permeates the quiet. The wind gently blows past the device before the speaker, briefly swallowing loudly, continues.

"Her heart is not healing properly, and she is probably delirious from a lack of liquids. I’m going to have to force her to drink while she is unconscious. With the speed at which we are traveling we will probably be very thirsty when we get to New Appleoosa. If she even recovers by tomorrow it will be a miracle of pegasus physiology.

Still, whenever she wakes, I need the story. Every single facet of what happened is knowledge, and knowledge is power. Until then I’ll just scavenge from the woods and wait. This is the end of day two."

"Day three has been mostly uneventful as we didn't leave our current camp due to Dash’s injuries.

She almost caught me because I made a slip of the tongue. I need to be more careful around her, she is very inquisitive. Luckily she didn't make any connections. I also found out that the radio has several unused functions: a music player with recorded songs, a communicator, though useless as this is the only one left and I don't have any radio frequencies, and a solar panel, also useless, and ensuring that I will have to keep charging it manually.

She told me the story. The whole story, I suspect, but sometimes it is hard to tell if she is lying, and I think she knows more about the event than what she lets on. Anything she withheld probably is of little significance compared to the flood of knowledge I now have at my disposal. Understanding this enigma known as the Endless Dark will help in my attempts to destroy it.

As for Dash, I try to hate her, but my emotions are getting the better of me and befuddling what should be a foregone conclusion. Seeing her as an enemy was so much simpler, but this objective keeps our futures intertwined, and I have no choice but to associate with her, and however begrudgingly I do so she seems invigorated by it. Hopefully she screws up somehow, and I can have an excuse for hating her some more. Did that sound vengeful?

What is wrong with me?

Still, growing too attached to her will be unhealthy for me in the long run. The more things remain as I expect the more I feel like it will all end how it must. Is clinging on to some faint hope worth it? Hopes and aspirations are what lead me here. Well, there is nothing to do except just see how it all pans out. This is the end of day three."

"Day four. Dash almost caught me this morning working with the radio, so I must only use it without her around. I also can't leave it around her if I can help it; her curious nature will lead to bigger problems than I can deal with right now.

She reacted as I feared when she saw the camp. I even felt bad about knocking her out. Why should I, she is the cause of everything! I’m just tolerating her because I need her, and for nothing else! It’s her fault I… I’m…”

There is heavy breathing as Twilight calms herself down.

“I just hope she buys the lie I will tell her. It would crush her if she found out the truth. But who does that? There was no way she could save them, none at all, yet still she tries! I couldn't let her.

The truth of the matter has infinitely complicated the issue. I will hold fast to this lie, and every other lie I need to tell. If we win, then I’ll be honest. Until then honesty would just drag me down, and thus I have no need for it.

I miss them all so much. My friends, my family, Celestia… I swear to you all, I will fix this, whatever the cost.

One thing that will remain confusing for me is how to rationalize her making the choice while injured to do something and then… she tried to save them.”

Twilight’s voice almost seems in awe.

“So I made the only logical choice I could in that situation. She would've killed herself if I had just stood by and let her go through with it. But…”

A slight sniffling voice is heard, and the voice returns sounding on the verge of tears.

“…it made me care a little! It was so much easier when I could just hate her for all the terrible things she's done. Now I can say it wasn't all her fault, she actually wants to try to make up for it all. I have trouble dealing with her. Not because of her actions or how close we were, but because it reminds me of what I used to be like. And that hurts for so many reasons. End.”

"Day four, entry two. I gave in to my incessant emotions. I saw the pony I had every reason to hate practically break down before my eyes. The pain and tragedy of seeing her be corrupted by this world ate at me. Nothing is sacred anymore.

I hope that doesn't haunt her like some of my faults do. I can't leave the radio alone again either, Dash caught a bit of a radio entry. I'd hate to imagine what she might've found on the radio had she kept fiddling with it. So I told Dash how I felt, mostly. I honestly feel a little better.

I still can't tell her about the intricate details of New Appleoosa. They will hunt me if they see me. Alicorns other than the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk are seen as impersonators under the new regime, and for good reasons, however inconvenient they may be. Fear of what power Dash may have gained leads them to ill-informed conclusions. Usurpers are not tolerated. I will have to be especially careful.

Still I feel something nagging at me, something I have forgotten about New Appleoosa. As for the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk, under no circumstances must we draw her attention or have any dealings with her. It would be far too dangerous and unexplainable.

I’m hoping that some sort of weapon manufacturer that deals in major black market weaponry is available. We need all we can get, though I must admit, I am a little nervous having never dealt with such ponies before. I know of somepony that we need to meet, despite not knowing her name or even having seen her before.

I hope that there aren't any representatives in the area to deal with. They would be able to find us in an instant if we make a single mistake. So many interjecting and winding strands of logic and possibilities to consider, I am losing hold on the situation as every hour passes into the mists of time. Hopefully things will clear up after New Appleoosa. This is the end of day four."

Chapter Seven: Relevance

Silence can tell a pony many things. While it could mean nothing, it is a great way to know if the weather is calm. In silence, things have stopped dead, and there is room for thinking. That is why I hate silence. It lets me think about what happened on that day. It reminds me that in what I have done, I am alone.

However, the absence of silence can say just as many things, if not more. With the variations in pitches and volume, sound can be a cacophony or a simple hum. It can both be there to comfort or to hurt. I’d like to think that the sound of my companions in this fool’s errand was comforting, but it wasn’t. It was merely damning.

With the bickering between them, all I could consider was how insane we all must be do keep going. To any outside observer, we would appear crazy. I sincerely considered giving up that morning, but whatever was left of my old personality screamed at me to continue. I would, but not happily, and not without resting.

So it was in that moment, lying on the cold ground that I listened to Lyra and Twilight whilst pretending to be asleep. I wanted to stretch my wings, but the conversation currently happening seemed pertinent.

"Lyra, stop dodging the question! How did you find out so much about me? I have barely seen you before yesterday."

"I can't tell you! It revolves around Dash! Everything does! Something is happening that is going beyond what we can even comprehend. She explained it to the degree of what we need to know and nothing more. If there was something you needed to know, it would’ve been in your radio."

She. The infamous being that seems to be plotting around our every move. I had thought maybe Lyra would shed more light on the issue, but it appears that Twilight couldn’t get anything out of her.

"I don’t enjoy being played like a pawn! I didn’t listen ahead because I’ve already been there. This is indefinitely more complicated than you know. Why did you listen ahead?"

We were being played. If only I knew by what, or to what end.

"So you haven’t learned about… Never mind. I figured she would know that I went ahead anyways. The only thing I don’t understand is where…"

"I think I know. I can’t tell you yet, but you’ll figure it out eventually anyways. I should probably get some firewood, could you…?”

"Yeah, yeah. Don't touch the radio. Don't let Dash touch the radio. Got it. Go."

I could hear the huffing as Twilight trotted into the woods. Lyra gave an exasperated sigh, most likely indicating that Twilight was gone. A set of hooves slowly approach where I lay.

“You are horrible at pretending to be asleep Dash."

Dammit.

I opened my eyes and saw her minty face looking at me, slightly amused. Standing up, it was easy to quickly glance at the surroundings. We were in a small clearing in the forest surrounded by large pine trees and small bushes, a campfire sitting in the center. The trees seemed taller than any pines near Ponyville, but given that they were not Everfree trees, they likely wouldn't attempt to kill me in my sleep. The canopy was sparse, and the afternoon sky emitted a light glow. Twilight's supplies were on an overturned log on the other side of the fire, and poking out of her saddlebags was a familiar metal device. Lyra caught my glance and frowned.

"Uh, uh. Not gonna happen. I don't even really want to know. If I needed to, I already would’ve. Leave it be."

I looked at her. How could she be so certain? She couldn't possibly expect me to not pursue something of such vital importance. She sat about two feet from me, her eyes skimming me over several times before glancing away, her bangs hanging over her left eye. I needed to get some information out of her and I wasn't in the mood to dance around the subject.

"The fuck Lyra?"

She looked at me, at first angry, then amused. Suddenly she rolled around on the ground laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAH!"

Her laugh was loud and infectious, but I was not going to… do much but giggle a little. Regardless, I attempted to level my gaze and establish some sort of control. Seeing me act seriously, she gave a little roll of her eyes before sitting up and bringing herself under control.

"Ah, well. That question about sums it up, eh?"

I kept staring, almost with a pleading look. "I need something here. Anything."

She lowered her eyes. "Well, I can't tell you most of what I know right now, but I could tell you about the night you two got drunk. Would that suffice?"

Finally, here was someone willing to give me information. "Could you include what happened after we jumped off the building – yesterday I’m assuming? – and what you can’t tell Twilight?"

Her mouth grew to a large grin. "Luckily, I can! And if I enjoy one thing, it's making a mare happy. Let me grab a drink first."

She walked over to her pack and pulled out a flask with her magic. She took a small sip before turning around to face me.

“Well I should probably approach this chronologically, so I’m going to start with when I woke up in New Appleoosa. Give you a bit of background to explain how I came to know what I do. I awoke surprised to find that some guards were pulling me on a cart down the main road of New Appleoosa. I tried to get up but I was really hurt. Once I got to the hospital, they bandaged me up. Luckily enough I just had superficial wounds and I turned out just fine. I asked around but nobody told me how I got there in the first place." She stared at me, searching my face.

My mind churned, absorbing the information. She wasn't aware that I had brought her there. I wondered if she had even seen Ponyville yet after the event. I wasn’t about to tell her I ’saved’ her; she didn’t really need to know.

"Anyways," she continued, "I was let out of the hospital pretty quickly. I was told to apply to the military but I don’t fancy serving someone I’ve never heard of, so I stayed at the Rickety Sprocket. The barkeep there was nice and let me stay, gave me the midnight shift, but I worked the day morning shift usually to earn extra bits. I was glad to have him on my side, because I didn't really know anyone here except Braeburn, who I met once on a visit with Bon Bon." She sighed nostalgically. "I think she had a crush on me. I remember when things were happening in Ponyville she led me to the bathroom, shoved me in the bathtub and laid on top of me. Told me not to worry, even though I was half awake and scared to death... She's dead isn't she?"

I looked down, my eyes starting to water. This is just one more sin to atone for.

She smirked sadly. "Thought so. It’s okay, from Twilight told me, it wasn't really your fault."

I looked back at her. "Yes it was. If I hadn’t slept in that morning, wouldn’t have accepted the deal…”

"Coulda, shoulda, woulda.”

She sat down on the ground next to me.

“You can't dwell on what was Dash. There's a time and place to repent, and unfortunately now’s not that time. If you are trying to do better now, then that should be enough. The worst thing you could do is wallow in self-pity and do nothing."

I didn't make eye contact with her, rubbing my eyes with the back of my dirty hooves. She looked at me with some pity before continuing.

"So I tried to figure out what happened. On my first day on the job at the bar there were lots of ponies going in and out amidst all the construction in town. Despite asking around no one seemed to want to discuss the events that had transpired barely two days ago. Paid a guard about half the bits I earned and he filled me in. Rainbow Dash, bringer of the apocalypse and traitor of pony-kind. They really love you," she said, voice dripping with sarcasm and laden with slight intoxication as she stumbled over the larger words.

I rolled my eyes. "I could tell from the potshots the guards took last time I passed here.”

She raised her eyebrows before chuckling. "No kidding. I take it the disguise was a recent addition?"

I nodded.

"Anyways, I spend that night scrounging around for more information. I don't know why, but there was this nagging sensation that something wasn't right in New Appleoosa. Everyone seemed too happy. I mean one day after most of the country is wiped out you don't expect to come across a settlement full of smiling ponies unless they've all completely lost it. I found out with a couple of scans for any magic to see if I was being tracked that there was a city-wide aura that kept spirits high. And if you weren't affected by it you were taken in for questioning. This was meant to keep an eye out for changelings but wasn't completely accurate."

"Wait, why did you need to check if you were being tracked?"

She smiled. "I may or may not have been in a restricted access facility. It was where the emissary's quarters were. I really needed to know more about what was going on, especially considering that I had received a radio device at the Rickety Sprocket right after being told how evil you were.”

“You also have a radio? Where did it come from? What’s…”

She waved a hoof at me. “Slow down there, I’m getting to it. I do have a radio, but it appeared on my bed without a note or any evidence of someone being in my room. As for what’s on it…”

I held my breath in anticipation.

“I’ll get to it as well. Suffice to say I spend my time listening to it, then I grabbed some bits from Flask and left to find out more information.
The emissary was my best bet considering her proximity to the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk. She knows just about everything, and remains the only enigma other than this Endless Dark we are dealing with. I can't figure out who it is. I have an inkling that it might have something to do with..." She glared at me with a smirk. "Never mind. Point is, there are a lot of things that don't make sense about this princess."

I looked at her and seriously asked, "Are you some kind of spy?"

She laughed loudly. "Not even close. I'm lucky I didn't fall over my own hooves. Knowing how to pick locks and teleport is quite the advanced skills though. Not many considered breaking and entering a vital thing to learn in pre-apocalyptic Equestria."

"But you did. Why?"

"You'd be surprised how many riches were only behind a single locked door. We aren’t here to talk about my past transgressions however. Anyways, the radio had a plethora of information on it. I think some of it was either incorrect or intentionally misleading - still not sure which – because it told me to wait for you two and help you out, but it was completely wrong when it said we would escape without incident.

Back to my story about the emissary. When I checked out the emissary's quarter I couldn't find a single bit of info on the princess. I left with nothing but a more intimate knowledge of her personal belongings and a few sacks of bits. It was extremely disappointing.

She certainly didn’t like us though, because she sent an entire company after us once we escaped.”

“How did we all get away from them after I blacked out?”

“Twilight stayed a bit behind us to ward them off and I carried you. Good thing you are in such good shape, any heavier and we would’ve been caught. Eventually Twilight got back to me and we traveled for almost all day, ending up here.”

I looked around again. “Where exactly is here?”

She looked around as though taking in the small clearing between the trees for the first time. "Somewhere north of New Appleoosa and southwest of Stalliongrad. Stalliongrad is apparently our next destination."

"Why are we heading there?"

She glanced over towards where Twilight had gone. "She found out the name of a bomb maker located there. Not surprising considering the crime rate in Stalliongrad, really. Twilight is convinced that using the bomb will either kill the creature outright, or weaken it enough for us to finish the job.”

I frowned. “That's the plan.”

“Regardless, Twilight seems to have gotten a signed order form from the princess to pass all the law enforcement and probably blackmail the guy. More importantly, she won't let me look at it! I was hoping the signature would give me a clue to her identity."

"Well your guess is as good as mine. Trying to get Twi to explain what the heck is going on is like trying to wrestle a full grown dragon. I doubt she'll give us any information until she's ready.”

There was a pregnant pause during which Lyra took another swig of alcohol. She appeared to ponder something for a bit.

“So… the night I found you two was pretty easy going at first, but it soon became very hectic”

I turned to look at her. “How so?”

"I was serving you two, and by then I already knew who you were and carefully watched you from afar. You two drank so much I would be hard pressed to compete. After a while, you acted like complete idiots. The only part of the night that held any significance was that Twilight's robe fell off and her identity was revealed. Everyone came from the town to talk and see her like she was a celebrity, which isn’t that surprising. I know her reasons for not wanting to be seen, and I don’t like them, but there would be trouble if ponies knew about her.

You, Flask, and I all dragged her away after a bit and hid her in her robe again, almost pointless seeing as she collapsed in a booth minutes later. The locals talked about her for quite a while, and when the authorities heard about it they didn't take kindly to the knowledge of her presence. They assumed that she was a changeling seeking to cause riots. I saw something similar happen before you two came to town. It’s like the government is so afraid of things it is rapidly jumping at shadows, and innocents get hurt in the process. So I asked you to wake me up before I thought the authorities would get here; I guess it slipped your mind and now we are all wanted fugitives."

I frowned. "The emissary didn't seem to question Twilight's immunity to the aura but did call her an impersonator. So all changelings are immune to the aura?"

"Yeah, it doesn’t affect them. There are also those that cast spells to remove the effect of the aura from themselves, but they are branded as traitors.”

"Traitors? Who in their right mind would help the thing that’s killing everypony?"

Lyra gave me a sad glance. "Those not in their right mind. Persuasion of money or power, sometimes forced deals, more often trickery that involves possession. It's pretty depressing that many ponies are being forced to coerce the downfall of their own race. Once again, however, not all that remove the aura are traitors. The established protections have too many cracks in them."

I sat, solemn for a moment. The birds in the trees tweeted happily, as though nothing was wrong with the world. But if someone carefully glanced at the trees the truth was shown. They sat deep within branches near the tops of trees, practically invisible. They had just as much fear of the world as we did; they just had a better facade than we could conjure.

"What happened at the emissary's place that knocked me out?"

"Ah. Well after we fell two stories to land on a pile of hay, Twilight and I noticed you missed the hay and fell on your back, hitting solid earth. You must’ve gotten some whiplash and hit your head.”

Ouch. “So what is it that you can’t tell Twilight?”

Lyra frown, swirling her drink around. “I think that the source of the information knows us all very well, but I don’t know her at all really, not yet at least. She seems to know what is going to happen before it happens, which means she either broke the laws of time travel, or…”

I quickly caught on. “Or she is the one setting it up.”

Lyra chuckled. “Is it so impossible to think that the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk is using us? She seems to be fighting the Endless Dark, maybe she thinks that we can be utilized as weapons.”

"Do you know what is on Twilight’s radio?" I asked quickly, hoping to catch her off guard.

She smiled as she had done so many times before. "Sorry, but that is outside your questioning parameters. Unless you want to talk about how much I hold Twilight in contempt or your obvious psychological problems, let's just sit in silence until she returns, okay?"

So we sat. I brooded over my lack of knowledge. She just jumped into our journey knowing more than I did, and as it seemed to some degree, more than Twilight did. So I thought about the only thing that I could think about that was knowledge I alone possessed, my dreams.

The most obvious conclusion was that some kind of force wanted me to do something. But what? The phrase 'How do you not know' rang in my head with almost painful echoes. How do I not know what? It had to be something about Twilight or Lyra. Twilight wants to 'be free of her future'. What is her future? How do I help her? Maybe this has to do with the fact that she seems to know more than she lets on. Lyra does too. 'Her smiles couldn't have gone unnoticed by you'. Of course they don't, I'm fairly sure she is putting up a facade to mask some deeper problem like the rest of us. But what is the significance of her smiles? I thought back to earlier.

She slowly got up from the bed.

"Oh my head."

She reached up to her head with her hoof and slowly turned to the door where Twilight and I stood. Her eyes glazed over me and she smiled. She spoke to me, not Twilight, and seemed happy with every word. Then Twilight responded and her face changed to one that matched the usual of any pony seen after the event.

I made her smile, I realized.

I stood up. Lyra had trotted over and sat on a log, shifting some supplies around. She looked up at my sudden movement.

"What's up Dash?"

I trotted over to her and sat next to her on a log, glancing at her seriously. She gave me a warm, but nervous smile, and asked, "Need something?"

I looked deep into her eyes and simply said, "Why do I make you smile? Don't you hate me?"

She gave a guilty smile and looked right back at me. "I lied. I know how you saved my life."

"From a disaster I caused." I countered.

"That wasn't your fault."

“That's debatable."

"I don't care. You didn't have to save me. And you want to know why you make me smile?"

"Yes!"

"You give me hope. The few days of hell make it clear that we will not win. That's the sad and uncomfortable truth. Each outpost not in direct protection of the princess is being slaughtered. There is only a handful left. Soon even defended places will be under siege and the world will become a barren waste. But something about you, being near you, makes me want to try anyways."

"But I don't even know what I'm doing; Twilight is the one doing everything! I'm not even sure how to get to Stalliongrad, where to find the weapon thing, or how to use it! Why do I give you hope?"

"Because you have more reasons to give up than any of the rest of us. The immense trauma you must have suffered is probably making you crack at the seams. I have no idea how you are capable of standing with the entire world screaming for your blood. Both the good and bad forces want you dead, and yet here you are. The river is flowing to the ends of Equestria and you are swimming upstream. Plus… ya know… you never truly stop liking somepony…”
Then I felt her breath on my lips. We had gotten closer to each other with every comment. I broke the brief silence with an intelligent, "Oh."

She leaned slightly forward, "Yeah."

I glanced at her slowly approaching mouth and half lidded eyes in awe. I couldn't believe the scenario before me. Suddenly, amongst the cesspool of my life, there was a glint of light that saw me as something more than a murderer. I didn't know how I felt at the moment and maybe I was making a stupid decision, but any glimpse of happiness was enough for me. I leaned forward a bit more, ready to feel her lips.

“I found some firewood!"

We broke apart, scuttling away from each other to sit at a more appropriate distance when Twilight, following her voice close behind, burst through the foliage levitating a bundle of logs and twigs. She glanced over at us, seeing us breathing heavily with our faces tinted slightly more red.

"Everything okay you two?"

I looked back and forth between Twilight and Lyra. "Yeah." I responded.

That was no normal dream. It knew things. And it knew something about Twilight too. As I watched Lyra start to fetch some food from her pack and Twilight start a large fire, I lingered on Twilight, thinking. What is your future? And how do I fix it?

There are things that are considered irrelevant in life. No one talks about the rock that they stepped on or the bug that flew into their face. But there is importance in everything we do or avoid. Action have impacts upon us, and I couldn’t help but think that by getting involved with Lyra, even if briefly, I have intertwined our paths and set something in motion that none of us could stop.

Chapter Eight: Cognitive Evaluation

The crackling fire did little to diffuse the tension in the air. It was quite obvious that Twilight knew what had just transpired but nopony had said anything. Lyra kept glancing at me nervously and Twilight noticed the silence between us. Twilight, in a rare moment of tact, seemed to ignore the situation and was much more intent on figuring out the fastest way to our next destination.

"Do you happen to know the quickest way to Stalliongrad Lyra?"

Lyra levitated her pack over and shuffled her hooves through it. Eventually she pulled out a roll of paper and unfurled it on the ground.

"This is a map of most of Equestria. Appleoosa is here," she gestured to the right edge of the map. "Stalliongrad is here," she pointed to the top right of the paper. "The normal route would be through the station at Canterlot but..." she looked over sadly. “Well, we can take a western path through here." She gestured towards a ridge of mountains at the edge of the Appleoosan plains. "There is a refugee camp at the base of the northernmost ridge. We can stop there on the way."

"Refugee camp?" I stammered. "I thought that the Princess of whatever was rallying everyone up into towns. Why don't they come to New Appleoosa? They would be safer."

Twilight looked away. Lyra eyes narrowed, and she spoke up. "Not everyone is, 'beneficial to the system’. Those not able to be productive or without combat abilities to defend the town are considered drains on the system. They are evicted and not allowed within Appleoosa grounds or any other establishment constructed under the authority of the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk.”

Lyra was slowly raising her voice as she talked, obviously upset.

“It's tyranny. This alicorn has completely abandoned these people. I saw one of the camps outside Ponyville, the place had absolutely no defenses and was less than a mile from where the Endless Dark’s influence was. They were living in fear and sickness!"

Twilight glared at her in fervor. "It's a logical approach! Accommodating for them would be difficult and yes, drain resources. There is no way that everyone could be helped! It's for the good of Equestria that some survive to fight back instead of everyone barely surviving until the Endless Dark takes us all!"

"It doesn't matter! We can be better than that!"

The rest of the argument drifted into senseless mumbling as my head started aching painfully. Dark spots dancing in my vision, and I felt woozy as I started slouching. My hooves slid from the log and I fell backwards to the ground with a soft thud. In the throes of their debate, they were too busy to notice me. I glimpsed one last glance of the dull forest floor as a set of lime and purple hooves circled each other threateningly. But unlike previous lapses into unconsciousness, I had an idea as to what was going on.

Soon there was nothing but black, but only briefly, before a stark white and blue light emerged and hummed softly. The familiar shape (Or shapes, it was hard to make out) reappeared before me.

I called out to it. I wanted help. There were things happening to me that I couldn't explain and I knew it could provide answers.

“The answers that you seek can be found within."

The voice, soft as silk but with a tempered edge flowed to me. Cryptic as always, but there were some things that deserved a second look. Maybe if I could only remember...

As though the cloud could read my mind, which I suppose being in my unconsciousness it most likely could, baubles of images floated before me. Familiar images of my past danced within.

The cloud bobbed and ebbed. I asked what these were, though it seemed obvious.

"Memories. Enter them and find what you already know."

I trotted to the nearest one, and then glanced at the cloud.

"You were right about Lyra. How did you...?"

"We are confined to a different state of being, but we will not leave you. As for now, we can simply watch. You have something within you that attracts us like a magnet. Opposites attract violently in such power."

"What do you mean? What's within me?"

It cooed silently. "The effigy of death. But do not fear for we keep it at bay. This battle you cannot fight."

I recoiled in shock. “Effigy of death? What do you mean?”

“There is a dark influence seeking your demise, a byproduct of your ill-fated deal. I am here to prevent it’s meddling into your mind. Do not be overly concerned.”

Don’t be overly concerned? There are now two things in my head and they are apparently having a battle! I have enough things to deal with at the moment without more mental issues.

“Yeah, uh… okay then. Sure. I’m going to file that under things I don’t understand and just move on.” I turned away and muttered, “A file that is quickly becoming full.”

At this point, so much had changed and drastically damaged both my body and my psyche that I just ignored this new piece of information in favor of staying sane.

I looked at the various spheres floating around me. The small ones seemed to be of my most treasured memories, and there were many drifting in colorful clusters. They told of happier times when my friends and family were still alive, when I would soar above the clouds practicing, foolishly believing I could one day fly with the Wonderbolts. Every accomplishment I ever achieved and every joyous occasion was contained within these mystical spheres. But there were darker ones as well.

Circling higher above me, large stormy spheres depicted my worst moments and fears. Some were entirely black, and I was too afraid to approach them, though one of them caught my eye. A brief glance of a small town butchered before smacks to the face. Something was there, I don't know how I knew, but I was sure of it. I reached forward and tapped the bauble.

The world seemed to collapse.

Everything around me faded in such an explosive torrent that I couldn’t tell up from down. Colors swirled in brilliant mixtures as the space lit itself on fire. The heat of the spinning color burned me to the point where I also faded away, and though I tried to scream I could no longer move my mouth. Instead I could see myself on the ground below me bleeding from multiple kicks to my face.

I turned unwillingly to the left, and in an instant I knew where I was.

The town still looked as ravaged and bloodied as before and only the population of flies had increased around the decaying corpses. Lavender hair drifted over one of my eyes before I shifted it to the side with my magic. I looked down at my hooves.

“The blood of a friend, done in good will. Is there no point in anything that I do?”

I turned towards the town once more, a tear making its way down my cheek. As I levitated Rainbow onto my back I muttered lightly, “I cannot let her come back here. The end justifies the means, it has to.”

Trotting with the weight on my back I considered various medical spells to heal Rainbow, but a quick scan revealed the cuts had already sealed. I cast a quick spell to deepen her sleep, if only to get some distance first.

The memory shattered as it ended, collapsing back to the place it had come from. The spheres around it hadn't changed, and the being still floated behind me.

I sat down in the dark recesses of my mind, contemplating what I had just seen.

“That was not my memory.”

I turned to see the light twist slightly.

“No. It was a memory of Princess Twilight. I thought it would have pertinent information for you.”

I scoffed at her. This information just proved my suspicions that she lied to me about that village burning.
“All I learned was that she lied to me in order to move on her quest. That her ends justify those means.”

"She only did so to save you."

I looked in the direction of the voice and noticed that the cloud had taken a vaguely pony shape, but due to its constant shifting it often gave the appearance of an alicorn, which turned my thoughts only to Twilight and the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk, thus angering me further.

"It was an act of preservation and friendship. She only wanted your safety. You are being unreasonable."

"She lied." I spat. "True friends don't lie. True friends are honest, no matter how much it hurts."

It fell silent. I sat there with the beginnings of tears forming in my eyes. "We should've done something."

The being nervously began, "I had hoped you would enter this memory. It is also of Princess Twilight, but it appears that the last memory angered you. The information will do you good if you have the strength to understand it." It drifted aside, revealing a solid red bauble.

I glanced at the being. "Are you a unicorn?"

Its figure became more distinctly unicorn, but pegasus wings occasionally morphed at its sides. "That is neither here nor there. This memory is one that your companion locked deep within herself. So deep, she practically pushed it out of her mind."

"And you want me to go in it?"

The figure nodded slowly.

"Don't suppose you plan to tell me what's in there?" I asked sarcastically. I reached out and right as I tapped the orb the being muttered, "Just know that things are never as they seem."

Wait what...?

It took a while for the memory to appear. It was still strange, looking through the eyes of another. This time, as I was more prepared, I was able to disconnect my thoughts from hers. I couldn’t stand being controlled like that.

I watched as my form was thrown through the air by a vicious swipe of a manticore. Twilight reacted quickly by using a magical pulse to force the creatures around her back. She turned towards where I flew through the trees and called out my name.

She better live through this, I’ve gone through a lot of trouble for her.

She turned back towards the various manticores and the few cockatrices hiding in the canopy.

The magic started out of her horn in a torrent, red tinting the purple aura that formed into the blade ends of swords and sickles. The manticores slowly prowled towards her, both young and old stalking their prey when Twilight's eyes started blurring red themselves.

The sharp magic slashed and cut through the front manticores, cutting the throats of the more experience hunters in an instant. The lacerations caused the blood to pour out so profusely it sprayed in a visceral splash. The redness seemed to coat the air, and hung in a cloud for a moment before hitting the ground and pooling around the hunters.

This display caused the others, especially the young, to back off. Twilight glared at them with intensity unmatched by the burning sun. The blades burned with her. Those closest to her were sliced, limbs sliced without killing the manticores. They flailed helplessly into those next to them, blood coating their hides. The young saw this horror and began to flee, but the blades showed no mercy. They cut forward, impaling them into the earth. Twilight's fury was intense and frightening. As the manticores slowly bled out in pain and suffering Twilight turned towards the slithering cockatrices.

Once sped towards her and attempted to stare her into stone, but Twilight smiled some sick grin of glee as her eyes stared back in a flame, boiling the eyes and then face of the animal. It writhed on the ground in agony as Twilight cast a flurry of spells towards the other two.

They failed to dodge them in their attempts to flee, and the first spell hitting the one on the right burning through its hide like acid, and the wail it made was piercing. The second one was convulsing violently before its head exploded and sprayed gore all over the field.

Twilight turned towards the survivors, slowly dying on the ground, and merely slit all their throats with the magical blades she still had conjured.

Twilight's horn sputtered and stopped as the blades winked out of existence.

It had only taken her taken her two minutes to brutally and methodically murder all of those that opposed her, included the young and those that attempted to retreat. Blood pooled in wide radii around the animals as limbs lay in piles. The smell of burnt flesh lay heavy in the air and the gore of entrails and flesh was strewn about in the branches and grass, even some on Twilight herself.

Twilight chuckled.

It was a low, bone chilling chuckle that made me fear for my life. Slowly her dark laughter died down as her eyes opened wide.

She looked at her hooves. I could make out her reflection in the blood.

"Not again..." She mouthed.

Then she sat and cried as the world dissolved.

As I sat in the hub of memories I reflected upon the last thing I saw.

"What did she mean, not again? I mean, that can't have happened before, Twilight has never done anything like that."

The entity sighed. "That wasn't quite Twilight. She just lost control. It wasn't her fault."

I stood up angrily. "Don't you say it wasn't her fault! We all have a choice! I've seen ponies that approached menacing manticores with compassion rather than resort to that!" I spat out. "It was nothing short of a massacre! If that is how Twilight acts, then kindness is obviously dead."

"She couldn't control her actions..."

“Then she didn't try hard enough. She shouldn't be allowed near other creatures if at any moment she could slaughter a village. Even the young..."

There was another drift of silence. This revelation shattered some of my faith. What kind of pony was she now? The Twilight I had known back in Ponyville was a completely different mare. This was just an impostor wearing her skin.

"How do I get out of this place?"

The figure sadly raised a hoof towards a door that seemed to materialize out of thin air.

“You are focusing upon the wrong facets of these memories. Perhaps I should’ve started with something simpler. You must complete this mission without fail. Stay true to the course Rainbow Dash.”

I gave a gruff grunt. I would not travel with that murderer. I almost laughed at the irony of my statement, but I wasn’t in control of my actions. Twilight made her choice.

I walked to the door and put my hoof on the handle, unable to deal with any more of the figures painful truths. As I glanced back at the room one last time at the being that stood behind me, it took the form of a more pony-like appearance and gained wings and a horn. It waved softly and said, "I'll be seeing you again soon Rainbow Dash."

Then my hoof pushed the door open and I was assaulted by a sea of white.

They were still arguing when I awoke. It appeared as though I had just fallen, like not a moment had passed. I pushed myself up and looked cautiously at Twilight. Outside of my mind my emotions seemed more subdued and I could rationalize my situation. The Twilight Sparkle I knew would do anything to protect her friends, but she wasn't capable of murder. She certainly wasn't capable of the things I was just forced to witness. There were too many unknowns, too many secrets that I couldn't be told, and I was done waiting around.

As I lay on the ground, I saw her pack sitting right next to the map a few feet away. It was just sitting there, right in the open. Neither of them was paying any attention to me. I took the opportunity and grabbed the pack, stuffed the map into it, and slung it over my shoulder. I ran toward the trees without looking back. I'd find Lyra later. For now I had to help Equestria, and that involved getting the damn bomb. No stopping at the refugee camp, I'll be taking the direct route. I took off from the ground, surprised at the strength of my wings as I sped off.

As I took off I glanced back and saw nothing. No sign of the clearing from the sky. I wasn't even sure if they noticed I'd left yet. I flew for but a few moments in the cool night air, savoring the independence.

I flew for roughly an hour before I could hear a noise in the distance.

There was a cackle as the emissary of the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk spotted me. I looked to my left and spotted a large gilded chariot gliding towards me on magic alone, but it wasn't the emissary's magic that allowed the craft to fly. I saw a cloaked figure on the back. I tried to fly faster, and in my panic dropped the pack I had taken from camp. It didn't matter; I had to get away from them. Despite my exertions to fly faster the chariot gained on me.

Soon enough my wings were held tight against my body by the emissary’s magic and I was frozen hovering above the chariot. A gravelly voice that I couldn't place murmured, "Take her to the Ice Cellars. Imprison her for life. Now take her out of my sight, I swore to never set my eyes on this traitor ever again unless I was to kill her. A Princess should keep her promises, but this once I shall be benevolent and let her rot instead."

"Yes Princess, as you command."

I couldn't see who she was! So close to her identity, but so far. Then a bag was shoved over my head and I was hit in the head. The emissary chuckled. I felt a trickle of blood down my face. Why did I run? I just doomed Equestria by failing so easily. Maybe Lyra can do it without me; I didn't want to think about Twilight.

I was hit again. The blood seeping into my mouth and dripping off my chin. Would they find the pack? Surely with magic they could track the radio in it somehow. Wish I would've had a chance to listen to it.

The next smack was harder, and opened a large cut across my face. The blood coated my eyes and my lip swelled. I wanted to get out or somehow fight back against my attacker, but I was practically immobile.

I could feel my lip burst with blood as the next hit connected. This wasn't necessary; the bitch was doing it for sport. Luckily I was losing consciousness and this wouldn't last much longer. As I felt the chariot begin to move again my vision within the bag blurred and faded.

Then I returned, almost prophetically, to the memories.

Chapter Nine: The Ice Cellar

Soft air swirled around me in perpetual cyclones. I felt the soothing cloud of white pass me and reform into an alicorn. A dark blue alicorn. I looked at her image, the stars speckled on her flank, and recognized her.

"Hello again Rainbow Dash. Welcome back."

I stammered out disbelievingly, "Princess Luna...?"

She looked down sadly. "That title no longer belongs to me, I am merely Luna."

Her presence seemed to cause a distortion in the air, the very reality of my dream ebbing in response to her. I couldn't understand why she was here.

"Why have you been in my head?"

She looked straight into my eyes. "When I felt myself begin to die, I retreated into the realm I call home. I transported into the unconsciousness of the nearest pony. You were the only one alive in a large radius."

My eyes sprung open and I took some steps back. "You could see everything?"

She shook her head. "Only your thoughts and memories, but I am far more attentive to them than you are. Why did you run?" She cocked her head questioningly.

"I couldn't travel with a murderer! Twilight is worse than I am! I didn't have a choice!"

Luna gave a glare so sharp in burrowed into my skull, "You think she did?"

"How do you know she didn't?"

"Since when is her magic red?"

"I don't know? Can't it change?"

Luna closed her eyes. "Only under dramatic changes in personality would an alicorn or unicorn's magic change shades."

"Then that's the explanation, she obviously isn’t the friend I used to know," I stated. Something then clicked inside my head, and I spoke to her again. "If you survived, did...?"

She shook her head. "I am not alive, not truly. This is merely my soul residing within your mind. I cannot affect the world, only you. Though perhaps I can change the world by changing you. And as for my sister..." She looked off sadly, before glimmering tears gently flowed down her face in utter silence.

"She is gone. More powerful than me, and she is gone. I am certain she could've survived. I sometimes think I see her visage in the light at the end of the tunnel. But I dare not enter, for I fear what is beyond it. Maybe she was braver, going on. I fled into this imitation of life, while she braved the unknown."

"Why would Celestia do that? Couldn’t she have done what you did?”

Luna smiled. "Probably, but Celestia always knew more than she let on. I'm half sure she knew the entirety of Equestria's future. She must have known she wasn't needed anymore. She always had a plan for every contingency, and I feel that this is no different.”

“If she had stayed, even if it was only through the mind of ponies or whatever, that would’ve been an enormous boon to the ponies of Equestria! Countless numbers would gather here and rally to her side, and not just ponies either!”

Luna gently spoke. “Of course they would have. I don’t think Celestia would’ve wanted that though. She would not be able to withstand ponies giving their lives for her, she never has before. Celestia always preferred to take things into her own hooves rather than involve the lives of those she cherished. Twilight and Celestia are alike in that way; both attempt to spare others their own hardships.”

Noticing the conversation shift to Twilight, I turned away and walked among the orbs as they floated. Glancing once more upwards at the ebony orbs floating above the others I wondered what other sick repressed memories I would have to relive before I returned to my physical body.

“They would rally behind you too.”

Luna cocked her head. “Perhaps, but I would think not. Memories of my mistakes are still too fresh in the minds of Equestrians, and I am not fit to lead them. They are already being led by an alicorn; I would provide no assistance that is not already being given. No, my place is here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me who you were before?”

Luna fidgeted behind me. “I wanted you to come to conclusions about what has transpired, but you needed help. So I attempted ambiguity to let you come to the certain conclusions without being convinced by one of your Princesses, for then it would be meaningless. I still hope you can reach these realizations without much prodding from me. It is imperative that you think logically about these things lest your emotions run you astray. However, I am afraid you will lose your will to continue without somepony to encourage you.”

I sat down and shook my mane in a fit of frustration. “Why does it matter whether or not I realize things of my own will?”

“I was told that it would become important eventually, in a time that I couldn’t help you.”

I almost screamed at this point.

“Is there some time traveling asshole that has convinced everypony that I don’t need to know anything?”

“Maybe,” Luna mused. Her tone turned serious as she returned to a previous topic.

"About Twilight. I see that showing you the truth of those two days did more harm than it did good. I only wish you could understand the trials she has overcome that made her this way," Luna said, apparently hoping that the more she talked about Twilight the less I would hate her. It was having the opposite effect.

"And you somehow know what she's been through?"

"I've seen her dreams, Rainbow Dash. She's scared. Always full of hatred and surrounded by death. I think she is afraid of herself. While I do not understand how she became this way, it is obvious she has been affected somehow."

Huh? "Afraid of herself? I don't understand." I said exasperated. "It doesn't even matter anyways! I never want to come near that psycho again! What kind of pony would want to associate with anyone like that?"

"You forget yourself, Rainbow Dash. Why don’t you ask yourself the same question?”

I sat quietly, turning away from her so she didn’t see my tears.

“You are the one known as the traitor to all pony kind. The remaining ponies of this land would greet you with nothing more than harsh words and a crossbow bolt through the eye at best, but the mare that you would so readily turn your back on is in fact the one pony that has traveled by your side and risked her life for you despite your transgressions.” She stood a safe distance from me as I got up and looked about.

I trotted around the shining baubles, glancing briefly at my own memories. The happy ones twinkled lightly whenever I tapped them, but I couldn't enter them for some reason. I turned to ask Luna but she was otherwise occupied. Her eyes were closed and she muttered silently while magic gently flowed through the air around her. After watching her for a while I sought out the nearest large orb and traced my hoof over the surface. The edges of the sphere bubbled beneath my hoof. Then a few images flashed before my eyes.

A cyclone of vicious strength tearing up clouds.

Several pegasus ponies flew in horror as the sky blackened.

A purple ma…

I backpedaled several feet before sitting on the ground. I fell over crying, the memories scything through my mind. Ones I had sought to forget forever.

I heard mumblings, and a hoof pushed me over.

"The hell is wrong with this bitch?"

"I dunno. She looks like a softie."

"Lay off her. That mare is Rainbow fuckin' Dash."

"Well hell, she's just as fucked as we are."

"She ain't gettin' my fuckin' blanket!"

"Shut the hell up Gorge.”

"To hell with you, I don't wanna deal wit' that mare."

When I finally opened my eyes I was graced with the sight of a blindingly white room. The floor and walls were made of solid ice and large stalactites hung threatening from around the cavern. There was a large pillar of ice that practically hid an entire corner of the room. The corner opposite had a metal grate in the ceiling that was currently shut and appeared to be bolted shut. The air was so cold it almost made me shiver, despite my natural resistance to cold as a pegasus. Even with the freezing temperature of the room there were only two blankets I could see from where I was, one laid out in the center and one draped over a large earth pony.

There were roughly a dozen ponies in the room. Four pegasi, three unicorns, and six earth ponies stood around me. They all eyed me with anger and fear in their eyes, some backed away while others stood closer, curiously judging me. Two stood before me, but only one looked familiar.

He stepped forward and stood above me impressively. His orange fur and mostly blonde mane took up most of the visible space. When he spoke it was concise and commanding. "Is the Apple family from Ponyville okay?"

"Uh..." I got up to my hooves and looked back at him before taking a step back. "I'm not sure about most of the family."

He took a step forward. "What do you know Dash?"

My eyes glazed over again, and I looked down. "Applejack didn't survive. I’m sorry Braeburn."

He shook his head and started to trot away. Or at least I thought he had. Looking down I didn’t notice him turn around until his powerful hooves bucked me a few feet into the wall. I felt and heard something crack. Most likely several somethings. I slumped down to the cold ground and groaned in pain.

He turned back to me and spat. His spit landed on my face and made me feel worse than trash. "Welcome to the Ice Cellar."

Another green pony pushed him away and said, "Leave 'er be mate. We get more food if she's alive.”

The orange pony looked back at him. "Fine Lucky. But she better stay a good barley field away from me or I'm kicking her teeth out."

I tried to get up, but the pony called Lucky held up a hoof. "Stay still. Your rib is poking out. I'll get the doc."

He walked off, leaving me to my pain. My eyes blurred and refocused several times. I could see some blood slowly oozing down my cyan coat onto the icy ground. Shit. I wasn't cloaked in the changeling serum anymore, so now a dozen ponies who blamed me for the state of the world could have their fun beating me until I wished I was dead. My blood slowly pooled around my body as I cursed my rotten luck. I had nearly passed out from shock when I heard Lucky again.

"Hold on miss. The doc will patch you up right quick."

Another pony began tending to my chest with practiced motions. Lucky kept talking about some nonsense to him. After what felt like an hour or so, the doctor bandaged my wound and stood up. He dropped a few pills onto a metal bowl and tossed it in front of me. He was a grey pony with a smoky mane that was cropped short and jagged. His cutie mark was a bonesaw.

"One every meal." He croaked. "If it bleeds, come back. I'll find a way to bill you later." He trotted off to some other area in the room.
I tried to sit up. It was slow, but I managed to lean against the wall and glance around. The ponies seemed to have returned to various activities. Lucky though, stood before me and smirked.

"So yer really Rainbow Dash?" He said with a smirk, his yellowed teeth visible between his jaws. His mane was shaved off, and his green coat was tattered and unkempt.

I looked back at my hooves and turned slightly to glare at my mane before turning back to him. "I sure look like it." I responded sarcastically. His grimace faded.

"Hey, you wanna be alive to see your second meal? Work with me a little here. You won’t last long down here without me ‘elping ya.”

"Help me? Why would you want to do that? What's the catch?"

He smirked. "All I want is a cut of your food. I was the newest here before you, and we newbies got to stick together anyways, eh?"

I took an instant dislike to him. His demeanor seemed fake and his actions were too practiced. He stood too close, acted too friendly, and his eyes pierced forward like knives. I felt like I shouldn't trust him. I didn’t even know what he had done to get in here. For all I know he might murder me for the fun of it later. Before I could ponder the matter any further he continued speaking.

"A lot of ponies fear you. But in here that won't last. Half of these ponies will brain you for your morning rations within a day. You either get them to keep that fear, or you'll be chained to the wall, and given just enough to stay starving. Understand?"

Begrudgingly, I nodded. He saved my life. As shady as he seemed, if I want to live, I'll need his advice.

"Good." He looked around. "Stay away from the other pegasi. They aren't good for your health." His brow furrowed.

"What's wrong with the other pegasi?"

"They made the hole in the corner of the room that leads into the water, convinced they can escape. I've seen them send a pony to swim every once in a while, but after they go we never see them again. No one is even sure if there is a way to the surface from the water. The bastards killed one of my mates who tried to talk a colt out of it. Fucking nutjobs, the ‘ole bunch of ‘em."

Escape?

He trotted over to the grate, and I followed him. He explained how meals worked. The more ponies in the prison, the more food shuffled down. The rations were split evenly by the leader of the prison, who just happened to be my best buddy Braeburn. Then a fifth of my food would be given to Lucky. He told me that if I lasted long enough, I might get a blanket.

These 'luxurious' blankets were nothing more than a thin sheet of cloth, but in this frozen box it was better than nothing. Blankets are reserved for the top three in the prison or those in medical emergencies. If someone was dying, efforts were made to keep them alive for the sake of more rations. Lucky told me that Gorge, a large silver earth pony with a dull brown mane was number two. And number three was a unicorn named Scoring who had a dark blue coat and a maroon mane. The leader made decisions, Gorge kept order, often by hurting anyone that disobeyed orders, and Scoring kept information like ration ratios, medical supply lists, and the number of ponies at all times.

After a few moments to take in this new information I had a question of my own for him. “Why are all of us being kept down here anyway?”

"The new Princess, quite the bitch by the way, is determined to keep everyone civil. She claims that the evil is something that is fostered not only in a manifestation, but in each other. She is always on about the Magic of Friendship needing to be revived in the people at any cost. Load of shit if you ask me. She usually doesn't get personally involved, but she runs a tight shift. It only took two days for her to set everything up. Emissaries sent to the griffons and the dragons and the zebras. New governments and representatives have been popping up in all the cities and reworking the system. But she doesn't watch everything the way we do. She sees the goodness in ponies, ya know? Blind to the evil we can see down here. She doesn't know anything about the place except that nobody escapes alive, and that's enough for her. I heard that you got beat up by her guards. That true?"

I grumbled, "Yeah. Almost saw her face, she hunted me personally."

He looked at me in surprise, almost slipping on the icy floor as he stood up from the makeshift bed he attained. The "bed" was a few scraps of clothing in a circle. "Really now? You must be the real one then. I wasn't sure to be honest. Didn't see the bitch's face? Eh, we'll all see her in hell anyways."

I asked him if he had ever talked to the pegasi.

"Well, I used to know a mate of mine who was a pegasus that got put down here only a bit ago. Great flier. Within an hour of talking to the other pegasi over there and he wouldn't speak to me. Kept talking about the only hope being down that hole. Time and rituals and sacrifice were all I could make out. Then he went down and swam through the hole. Haven't seen him since, poor bastard."

What was going on here? "Is everyone aware that there is a destroyed Equestria above the hatch? What's with the cult activity stuff? Can't we just... Ugh!"

He chuckled. "That 'bout sums it up filly. No matter what state the world is in there's always going to be some loons who only care about themselves. So..." He turned to face me, eye to eye, "How do we get out of here?"

"What?"

"Listen here, I know you are one of them elements of harmony. And while I couldn't care less about it, you are gonna wanna go fix shit. So you are gonna want out. I also happen to want out.”

I looked at him, and I mean really looked at him. He was thinner than a majority of ponies I had seen in New Appleoosa. His mane was gone and there were various bruises and cuts along his sides. Despite the fact that he was the most recent prisoner besides me, he already seemed disconnected from the world above. It was as though he had been here for years and gone stir-crazy; when in reality he had only been here a few days at the most.

I then felt something for him I hadn’t expected to. I felt sorry for him. I also realized the reason I had initially disliked him; it was obvious that the changes in the world had snapped him somehow because he clearly was off-kilter.

"I’ll figure it out Lucky. I’ll get us out somehow.”

Chapter Ten: A Cold Day

Sleeping in the Ice Cellar was an experience in a frozen hell. The ice didn't melt no matter how long you laid on it, and was in uneven sheets that formed sharp cracks at the edges. The scraps of clothing, which were more like dirty rags, were my only bedding. They stank of the sweat, urine, and even blood of whatever poor soul had been here before me. But as horrible as trying to fall asleep was, waking up was worse. The aches and pains in my back, neck, and wings were awful - I'd felt better after sleeping on a pile of rocks. I stretched for a bit, hearing cracks at every turn of my back or extension of my wings. I wanted more than anything to take to the air to give my wings a proper work out, but the cellar was cramped, I couldn't get more than three feet off the ground before I hit the ceiling.

How did I get myself into this mess? I was stuck in tight quarters with a bunch of ponies that wanted me dead as we all slowly froze to death underground, I likely had several broken ribs after being kicked in the chest by Braeburn, and to top it all off I'm hearing the voice of a dead goddess in my head making me question my sanity. If Discord did survive Canterlot, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he was the cause of all this. Maybe the bastard found it funny to torture me after I took away the only friend he ever had. It sounded just like him to separate me from my friends, putting me in a hopeless situation while the world burns around me, and then mess with my mind as he watches every second with that smug grin on his stupid face. No, these thoughts aren't getting me anywhere, I'm just being paranoid. It's a new day and I’m not just going to sit around doing nothing, but first I need something to eat.

I walked over towards the grate in the ceiling and joined a cue. Braeburn and his two cronies were in front giving me dirty glares as they took their shares of food. Once my turn finally arrived I witnessed the grate slide open to lower a small bucket with a few cardboard boxes within. I took one and stepped aside. Lucky proceeded to get his share and walked over to me before gesturing back to his area. The two of us walked back to where his bedding was and I slowly sat down to eat, careful not to reopen the wound that the doc had just stitched up the night before.

As I was about to start eating I noticed Lucky had remained standing and was staring at me expectantly. I scrunched my face, but handed him the box containing my meal nonetheless. He opened the box of food and pulled out one of the three pieces of bread, then gave the rest back. His share.

I certainly wasn’t happy about him taking my food, but it earned me his friendship and I needed that above all else.

I had spent all of last night after our previous conversation thinking about what he said. How are we going to get out of here? Like Lucky mentioned, I had a mission and there was no way I was staying down here any longer than necessary. The sad truth was there were only two possible exits, the locked hatch we came in from, and the hole in the corner of the room that leads to who knows where. The latter of which was only a theoretical exit, but if it did end up leading out of this place it would be the last thing the “princess” or her guards would be expecting.

I tried asking the doctor, Stitches, to give me some more info about the Ice Cellar; but he generally avoided the subject all together. Instead he only commented on his sewing capabilities and at one point trying to give me a lesson on conceptual thermodynamics. He was completely, and possibly intentionally, unhelpful. I tried to get back on the topic of possible escape only for him to go into detail on how to sew together an airtight suit and how heat can be conserved. He then went off on some tangent about his life before he was captured which I wasn't really listening to. The old stallion would randomly start up a conversation on some completely irrelevant topic whenever we talked for any extended period of time, which annoyed me to no end.

I started to ask why he wouldn't just be straight with me and help us form a plan to escape when he suddenly interrupted me with a frightened look in his eyes.

“Quiet child! They are always listening to us. You are never alone.” He croaked quietly and uncertainly, eyes darting about.

I nodded and walked away, unsure whether he was paranoid or right, but regardless he had given me an idea. Piecing together the information from our previous conversation I realized that the old stallion had a plan all along, but he needed my help to achieve it. I went over to Lucky, wanting to be certain of a few things.

"How does a pony become number one around here? Has Braeburn just been here longer than anyone else?"

He looked back at me curiously. "Well, with ol' applebutt over there, they don't. He could crush a pony’s spine in two if he had the inclination to. But hypothetically, you get it by killing him or forcing him to give it to you. Pretty shit system if you ask me, no democracy. The strongest on top instead of the smartest. Braeburn choked out Gorge the day he got in here from what I’ve been told. Since then nobody's been stupid enough to try to take the position from him."

Lucky recoiled a bit and put his hooves to his head.

“Uuggh ”

I stood in front of him concernedly. “Lucky? What’s wrong?”

He rolled over. “It's nothing you need to worry about, just a headache, I'll be fine.”

I gave an unamused glare before continuing. “Well you don't look fine, what are you not telling me?”

He groaned. “None of your concern, just get this conversation over with.”

"Fine, whatever. I’ll cut to the chase. If someone new became number one, what would happen to the number two and three?"

He cocked his head. "Well the number one appoints his followers, so I’d imagine the new number one would just pick and choose.”

I smirked. It just might work. "And the top three get the blankets right?"

He nodded.

"The water-proof blankets? That are each almost the size of a pony?"

He deadpanned. "I know what you're thinking, and I just want you to know that you’re completely insane. If you even attempt to try it you'd be dead for sure.”

I stared at him for a moment. "Listen Lucky, over the past week I managed to abandon the only friends I had remaining in this world, one of which is a mare that I’m fairly sure is into me, killed a few million ponies, and have probably doomed Equestria. I don’t really feel like sitting here until I die.” Don’t mind the fact that I'm now ageless, he doesn’t need to know that. “I'm going to try and get out of here. Are you going to help me or not?” I turned around and started to trot away from him.

He stood up slowly, rolling his eyes and muttering, "Fucking mares are always crazy. Why the blankets? Can't we have a sensible way out? Like asking nicely? Maybe we give him an extra loaf of bread?"

“You wanted me to come up with a plan. You didn’t ask for a good one.” Not that I would’ve come up with one of those anyways – that’s Twilight’s department. Twilight…

“I’ll make a note of that for the future.” He followed me for a moment before realizing our destination. "Wait, you're doing this now? Shouldn't you train or something? And your ribs are still fucked up, at least wait until you've healed!"

"That would take too long, I might as well do it right now. The longer we wait, the more of the surface dies waiting for us. I have to stop making the mistake of considering my friends only after I make a decision. Twilight might murder half the country if I’m not there to stop her.”

He groaned miserably. “Well if you want a bit of a pointer, don’t get bucked by his back hooves. This time you likely won't be getting back up.”

We began to walk towards Braeburn, hoping there was some way we could resolve this whole ordeal peacefully. And without me needing to get kicked across the room again. He was sitting quietly in his territory playing cards with a couple of the other inmates, how they managed to get the pack of cards down here was a complete mystery to me. I got my first good look at his face as he turned towards me with a murderous gaze.

"Hey Braeburn."

He stood. And with him stood all the weight of his dead relatives. The vast majority of them were most likely dead, and it was easily visible how it had affected him. His eyes were heavy and dark. His orange coat now suffered from scratches and areas where the fur had matted – either from blood or tears it was impossible to tell. Back when I had first met Braeburn he couldn't be seen without a beaming smile plastered on his face as he talked a million words a minute about the great town of Appleoosa. Now that happy-go-lucky demeanor was nowhere to be found, instead once he noticed my presence he lurched forward with a restrained anger fueled by sadness. A short growl escaped his lips before he spoke.

"Hello you traitorous bitch. What the hell is she doing over here Lucky?"

Lucky shrugged. "Something stupid I'd bet." Nice to know that I had his support.

I would try to appeal to his rational mind first, I owed Applejack that. "Braeburn, I need to get out of here. There are ponies up there who are trying to fight back against the abomination that is destroying our world, and I have to help them. I need to get out of here. In order to do that I need either to get all three blankets from you and your buddies, or to be number one. I'm asking nicely Braeburn, and I’m being perfectly honest with you. Please."

Braeburn's eyes scrutinized my every facet. He searched for some fallacy in my story. It took minutes of dead silence as the rest of the inhabitants of the Ice Cellar gathered around at the sight of me talking to Braeburn.

"No."

I looked at him sadly. “Why?”

He chuckled darkly. “Don’t get me wrong, I believe you. But without anypony left in the Apple family, why should I care about the world. It means nothing to me, so let it burn.”

My eyes lowered. This is definitely not how I wanted this confrontation to go down. Beating the muscly stallion on a good day would be a difficult task, but now I'd be fighting without being able to maneuver through the air and with a broken rib .

I glared at him with every ounce of confidence and bravado I could muster, which in all honesty was a considerable amount. "Then I'll fight you for it."

The silence in the room went from very quiet to a deafening emptiness. Until Lucky spoke.

"Cool. Hoof-to-hoof combat to the death or submission. This ought to end well." He turned to me and smiled. "It was nice meeting you. Shame you had to go and get yourself killed so soon." Then he trotted to the edge of the circle of ponies.

Braeburn simply laughed. "Really? Fine then. Bring your best."

He stretched his legs, muscle evident in the rear legs that he used to buck trees with. Then he grinned maliciously, some of his teeth chipped in such a way that they ended in points. I had several things that I needed to watch out for in my opponent, and quickly concluded one thing.

This was going to be painful.

I approached him slowly, swaying like a panther. He didn’t wait for my approach however. His legs tensed as he ran at me, full gallop, with his head down. I narrowly dodged his advance, his momentum carrying him another few feet before he skidded to a halt. He turned.

"I'm going to get you sooner or later. If you surrender now I might only break most of your bones." He ran forward, but slower, seeking to get closer and probably kick me into a wall. I backed up and began looking around. There was no way I was beating him like this, maybe I could trick him into running into a wall? No, he would see it coming. Maybe...

Then he was on me. He swung his hoof through the air, and I moved my head to dodge. He swung the other and it made contact. The cut on my lip reopened, and blood spurted outwards. I was pushed backwards on the ice and I almost fell flat on my face as I attempted to regain traction on the icy ground. I swung a hoof, aiming for his nose, when he shoved me again with his head. I went off balance, and before I could reassert my defense, he bit into my side, picked me up with sheer strength, and tossed me across the room. I slid several feet on my side, a long trail of blood following me from the bite, and I even felt the stinging, white hot pain of the broken rib poking through the wound again.

I crawled away, getting slightly dizzy from the pain and loss of blood. I needed something! Maybe if I got in the water it would help? Help me die, maybe. The temperature of the water was surely dozens below the ambient temperature within the room.

Reasoning with him was over. I had quickly picked a fight I could not win, and just as quickly failed. Lucky didn't look like he would be much help. I crawled closer to the water, feeling it almost draw me in. It was the only thing in the Ice Cellar that was different, it was strangely comforting. There must be some way to win. It couldn’t just end like this. The elements always came out on top, no matter the odds.

I was at the edge of the pool.

The dark blue water invited me into its incalculable depths. The ripples around the small hole in the ice gurgled quietly. I almost dove in right then and there, it was just so enticing. The reflection of the water showed a scared filly with blood dripping down her jaw. It showed a failure.

Then there was a hoof pressing down on my side painfully. The pressure caused a spike of agony throughout my body and I groaned in pain. Braeburn pressed harder into my wound until I could feel his hoof inside the cut and I twitched uncontrollably. I tried to think of how to get out of the situation, but all my mind came up with was pain.

"Some fight bitch.” I could hear him jeer. “Shall I give her a watery grave my fellow inbred convicts?"

There was some yelling, and I could see blood dripping off of my body and down into the hole. It tinted the water a light red. The pain receded somewhat before I was pushed into the hole, the water getting closer and closer until I was set on fire.

At least, it felt that way. Immediate contact with the water caused all my nerves to burn ferociously, telling my brain that everything was in severe pain. I had little strength to move. The weightlessness and icy cold paralyzed me for the most part. I twisted my neck slightly in a vain attempt to search for the hole I had fallen from, but everything was just black and blue under the water. I looked around for a way out, but there was nothing. So I sank, my lungs beginning to struggle. I tried to swim, but my wings dragged me down.

The edge of my vision faded to black as I hopelessly raged against the injustice and ill fate. I swore into the darkness before I finally lost consciousness.

It was almost as if I had melted from the real world to my inner thoughts. I thought here there would be peace for a moment before my death, but life wasn't done with me.

The chamber of my memories shook violently as a black aura enveloped the outer walls. I stared with fear as black death fought its way into my soul. A blast of blue light vanquished some of the black, before it returned once more. I turned to the source.

Luna was casting spell after spell to ward off the inevitable. Finally she cast a shield around a few baubles and the two of us before stopping to recover. The black death covered the shield instantly. I trotted next to Luna.

“So this is how it ends.”

Luna silently looked at me. “No, ‘Tia would be most disappointed in me if I gave up now. Nothing will work unless you survive this. I just need to think…”

I sat down. It was strangely calming, being able to sit and realize that you are dying. There was nothing I could do and it was just time to accept it. “Thanks for helping me Luna, but we just aren’t meant to win this one. This isn’t our fight anymore, we lost. I hate losing, but eventually it happens to the best of us. To think that I’ll die a virgin.”

Luna looked as though she wished to smite me. “How can you think about that at a time like this? Why are you giving up now? Just because life has challenged you you're going to roll over? I was told you were one of the finest ponies in all of Equestria, a pony who would never leave behind her friends or country. Was I misinformed?”

I chuckled quietly. “I’d like to say you weren’t, but you probably were. I am pretty great, but I’m just Rainbow Dash. Faster than most pegasi, definitely way cooler, but I'm not really a hero. I wasn’t cut out for this kinda stuff.”

“You have a quality within you that makes you qualified. You are an element of harmony. A paragon of your given virtue.”

I looked down as the shield shrank a bit. “Not anymore. My actions literally cracked the thing.”

Luna frowned at this. “Impossible. The elements are indestructible by any means.”

I matched her expression. “Really? Then… not that it matters anymore. I’m dead.”

“Why are you not seeking ways for you to survive this? You cannot allow yourself to be defeated here when you were meant for such greatness!”

I shook my head. "You're right. It's not fine and I'm fucking pissed. But there isn't anything you or I can do about it. Might as well deal with it.” I sighed.

“Twilight and Lyra will figure it out. I'm honored you would shield me like this, but I don’t have the kind of power you do. I don’t really have anything to contribute here.”

She stood and looked at me intently. "What was that you said?"

"I'm honored..."

"No not that, the later part."

"I have nothing to contribute?"

“No Rainbow, the middle part.”

“I don’t have any power? Where are you going with this?”

Luna’s face dawned in realization. "I...I can do something."

I tried to think of what she had thought of given that prompt but came up with nothing. “What? Are you referring to keeping me from dying or the part where I said I was going to die a virgin, because both seem equally insane at the moment.” I asked hurriedly.

She started to cast a spell. “I am giving you everything you need to survive. A substantial amount of power within your body facilitating the immortal strength within you should allow you to survive. I am giving you all the power I can.”

Her horn began to shine brightly as she stood. Her beautiful mane flowed powerfully behind her. Her smile grew as she turned to the darkness.

The entirety of her body began to glow like her horn. It grew brighter and brighter. Soon flakes of her began to shed into light and pure energy. She grew smaller as the spell continued and the light became too bright for me to see her.

“Wait, Luna! What's going on?”

The energy flowed into the cracked shield around us and it shone with the intensity of the sun. It burst outwards, expunging the darkness from my mind.

"Luna! Luna!" I screamed. My voice grew hoarse and I kept yelling. Eventually my voice gave out and I sat down. Looking up I could see a small bauble float in front of me, one of me talking to Luna in my mind. I looked closely and a few phrases leaped out.

"Only your thoughts and memories, but I am far more attentive to them than you are."

"The answers you seek are ones within you."

"Memories. Enter them and find what you already know."

I moved back as I could feel the chamber collapsing around me. It blurring back into non-existence. I could see a unicorn mare laying upon the ground but before I could see if she was hurt the mindscape collapsed completely.

Then I was submerged in water, but the cold was gone. My strength felt renewed. I swam straight up, finding that I could hold my breath much longer than before, and that swimming upwards was much easier than it had been. The hole had to be there. But I wasn't looking for the hole, not exactly, I was looking for a little bit of green.

I found it, Lucky looking down into the water worriedly before his eyes opened wide as he saw me swimming back up. He moved away.

My injury was gone. Ribs healed. Luna's efforts would not be in vain. I swam higher and higher.

I broke the surface with a resounding splash as my eyes madly latched onto the first appearance of orange. I reached out and pulled him back into the depths with my hooves, Braeburn flailing madly from surprise. I smacked his face under the water, once, twice, three times. My hooves hit him like bricks and caused his jaw to dislocate. We tussled, but he was bleeding and started to breathe in water. I could feel him lessen his efforts.

He tried to grab me and pull me down with him but his grip was weakening by the second and his eyes bulged as he began drowning. I held him for just a moment and his eyes gave me a flash of hope before I shoved him off of me and watched. He reached out with one hoof as his blood became a swirling cloud of red around us. I almost reached out and helped him.

Instead I let him sink. I let him die.

I broke the surface once more. Standing tall I looked over the others of the Ice Cellar. Lucky ran over to me with Braeburn's blanket saying things like, "I believe that Celestia still lives, I really do," and, "You are the most delightful mad person I have ever met." I vomited. It sloshed onto the ice and dripped into the hole. I had just killed someone. I was only gonna make him submit, what made me go all the way? Why shouldn't I have killed him? He fucking deserved it.

Wait, what? I couldn't contemplate that thought long because Lucky was waiting on a response. I faked some bravado and smirked.

"I thought you lost some faith in me back there?"

His facial expression faded from a smile to a smirk like mine. "'Course not. You’re my buddy, eh? Let's get you warmed up. You are fucking crazy." He walked me over to where Braeburn would never sit again.

He laid me down in my new pile of bedding, under the hatch. I looked up at him with smile. "It worked, didn't it?" I was a murderer.

He shook his head. "I thought you‘d died. Scared the living daylights out of me when I saw you swimming right back up. Crazy. Crazy crazy crazy..." He muttered under his breath jokingly as he trotted over to his bedding.

I smiled and tears started streaming down my face. Luna gave me all of her strength, and I used it to murder. Celestia would be proud.

Chapter Eleven: Prisonbreak 101

Strangely enough, it had taken a while for me to realize that my mind was harboring a fugitive from the beyond. In my dreams I occasionally would hear a voice hinting at some secret or telling me of my importance in the coming fight against the Endless Dark, but never did I believe I was speaking with the deceased spirit of the princess of the moon while I slept. She was there quietly watching me through my own eyes, ready to give me council when I needed it most and there to protect me when I was at the brink of death. Despite the fact that I had never been able to feel Luna's presence, I could tell that something was missing from my mind. There were so many questions I still had for her, so many things we could have accomplished with her otherworldly knowledge, but now I was unsure if those questions would ever be answered. While being entirely possible, I refused to acknowledge that she might be dead.

For the first time in what seemed like months, I didn't wake up with debilitating injuries or covered in blood soaked bandages. Thanks to Luna my body felt better than it had since before this whole debacle began. I felt so light, yet so powerful. If you slapped a horn onto my head right now I bet I could turn this place into a crater and be on my way without a scratch on me. And it was that same power that I had used to murder Braeburn the night before.

Though most would argue that one pony was just a drop in the bucket compared to the millions I'd killed previously, this one was different. I hadn't killed Braeburn while under the influence of the Endless Dark, I wasn't ignorant of the fact that all those ponies were dead because of me, but this time I had been in full control. Not only had it been my body drowning him, but it had been my intention to finish the job. That was the sickening truth I would have to live with for the rest of my life, but for now I owed it to my friends, and most of all to Luna, to make it out of here and make sure that their deaths weren't in vain.

To my surprise, when I opened my eyes I found my rations lying next to me. Full rations, Lucky hadn't even taken his share. I looked around and found him on his blanket close by waiting for me to get up, munching on his own food. Three slices of bread and some orange juice. Lovely.

As I looked at my food I grew curious about why we were fed in the first place. Ugh, I was never so concerned with how things worked until I became friends with the egghead.

"Why do they feed us at all, Lucky? Isn't this supposed to be death row?"

He gave a derisive harrumph. "I would say that living in here slowly freezing to death is worse than simply dying, maybe they just want to make it slow. I don't really know."

Well that was an uplifting thought, but no matter the reason they decided to keep us alive down here, I'd make sure they regretted it.

After I devoured the small bit of food I had been given I stood, and he immediately turned to me. "So I'm your new number two then?" Lucky asked with a slight look of uncertainty in his eyes.

I glanced at him. "'Of course, Lucky. You helped me, as little as it was."

He scoffed. "No appreciation around here. Well, best to go see either Gorge or Scoring. Or even Doc. One of 'em would be best for number three."

I frowned and sat back down. "No. It has to be a pegasus. I need them on my side."

"We're still going down in that damn hole? Wasn't once enough for you?"

"I didn't have a waterproof suit."

"Still... nuts. Well if you're gonna pick one pick the leader, Glider. He's a religious nut though, so try not to listen to his ramblings too much, you'll lose what few brain cells you've still got."

"Yeah, whatever. Can I tell you something Lucky?"

He looked up from his last piece of bread. "What?

I spoke slowly with a lot of uncertainty. I was sure that Lucky could see me nervously glancing side to side as I spoke. "There's this mare... She did something bad, and instead of confronting her about it I got angry and ran off. This other mare told me it wasn't all her fault, that there was something wrong with her. She was afraid of something. But I saw her do some awful things Lucky. I have no idea what I am supposed to do."

He looked concerned. "I can't pretend to know what you're talking about. But I'd say that sometimes ponies fuck up. We all do. If this mare is important to you - friend, lover, I don't care - then you just have to believe in 'em, eh?"

I almost rolled my eyes in frustration. He noticed my mood shift and left me alone for a few minutes. Typical. Wonder how I ever got the element in the first place.

How indeed.

"What?"

Lucky looked over at me from a few hooves away. "I didn't say anything."

My brow furrowed. "I could've sworn... never mind."

He finished off his drink and watched me finish eating. "Say, what's the plan when you get out of here?"

"I need to find a bomb maker who works for the black market. Apparently I can find him in Stalliongrad. I have to find him, get a large bomb, and then find Twilight and Lyra."

He grinned sheepishly. "Well I have no idea where your friends are, but as for the bomb maker..."

"Yes?" I said excitedly.

"You're looking at him. Caught fresh out of Stalliongrad, which is only a mile from wherever the entrance to this place is. I've organized a breakout or two in my day. Then again, I had my explosives to work with."

"Really? I need your help."

"I can hook you up free of charge, just as soon as we get out of here. Alive presumably."

"Hey, no problem. This plan is gonna work for sure. I just gotta go appoint the leader of the pegasi as my number three and talk him into helping us. Then I'll be back for the blankets."

I started to get up but he held a hoof if front of me. "Whoa whoa whoa. The last pegasus I knew who said they were just going over to that maniac to talk ended up dead. If you're not careful you could end up the same."

I leveled with him. "They know more about that hole and the water than anyone else here. I need that information."

He relented. "Ugh... fine. Just know that if you don't talk to me in the next hour, I'm going to go smack some sense back into you."

"Fair enough."

I took a few steps, looking for Glider. It was only a moment before I located him and started trotting in his direction. Maybe he will be sensible. Maybe he will tell me what I need to know, no problem. Maybe I should snap his neck and one of the others will tell me what I need to know.

I stopped in front of him and looked at his neck pointedly.

He glared. His bronze hide and iron mane in immaculate condition. He spoke with a gravelly tone.

"What do you want, usurper?"

I looked up into his black eyes. They were so deep, like a dark void. He stomped a hoof.

"Usurper, speak!"

I finally snapped to my senses. That was strange.

"I want to know everything you know about that hole, and then I will appoint you my number three but I'm gonna need your blanket." I spat out rapidly.

He didn't respond, just looked at me. Eventually he turned and spoke to another pegasus. Then he returned.

"I will tell you, but we require someone to brave the depths of our most sacred hope of escape, for in the darkness we will find the light that will lead us unto Stalliongrad, where we may complete our mission."

"Uh." Well this is gonna get weird. I'd never spoken to a religious nut before, but here one was. "Sure...?"

He turned and beckoned me to stand next to him. The stallion gestured towards some markings in the wall I hadn't seen before. It was an incomplete map.

"I record my findings here. Every soul that ventures into the depths is connected to Scoring's mind. He sees what they see. Then we trace the tunnels under the ice. We believe that the exit is here." He pointed to one incomplete marking. "But we are not positive. All we need is someone to swim the depths and find the exit. Then we will all be able to leave."

I stood there astounded.

“Thats incredible! To think you've been working on an escape plan this whole time! It looks like we may be able to help each other. With my position as number one around here and your map I think we've got a chance. All we need to do is get Doc to make a wetsuit out of the blankets and I could go down there to find that exit. But I uh... heard from others that you guys did something like sacrifices or something? I'm sure that that was just rumors or..."

Luckily he cut off my rambling by looking down sadly and stating, "Those that go down seeking the exit do not return, but without their help, we will never leave."

He seemed genuine with his concern. "Why don't you associate with the others?"

His eyes grew cold. "We did once. They called us traitors for trying to change the system. They thought we were going to leave without them. They scratched the wall and ruined the map. They don't understand. Even now, their animosity towards us builds, and they seek to keep us imprisoned here with them because they have lost hope of escape. You mustn't tell anyone, or we will be forced to take drastic action."

I nodded quickly, lest he think upon it more. "I swear."

What good is your oath?

"Who are you? Get the hell out of my head!"

Gliding looked at me concerned. "Who are you talking to?"

I looked at him. "Heh, nobody. Just myself, you know how it is."

He shook his head.

"Well, I have to go get a suit ready for Lucky and myself. I'll be over around last rations okay?"

He frowned."The green one?"

"Yeah. Why?"

He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

"Tell him that I am sorry. I made a rash decision by ordering his friend to death. I deeply regret it. But mention nothing else."

I smiled a little. "You guys aren't all that bad. Maybe under better circumstances we could've been friends. Provided you aren't all mass murderers or something. Heh heh..."

He didn't flinch. "See you after last rations." Then he turned and walked away, his bushy tail swinging like a silver spring behind him.

I trotted with my thoughts over to where the Doc was laying down. Lucky caught up to me holding three blankets.

"We good?"

"He gave me the green light."

Lucky smirked. "What info did ya get outta him?"

My brow furrowed. I hesitated and my eyes shifted side to side. My body slouched back slightly.

"Uh, not much. Said its cold and wet in the water. Very nice to give me the blanket. Nothing else at all, nope."

I flashed a huge grin to try and sell the lie, but Lucky was no fool.

"You might be the worst liar in all of Equestria, lass. Come on now. You gotta give me something here."

Time seemed to slow down. I was immediately caught between a promise and a friend. I could almost feel an invisible tether pull at my heart and mind. My brain was screaming out logic but my heart was pouring out loyalty.

You never knew the meaning of the word loyalty to begin with.

Shut up! I can't hear you!

They're right to hate you, all you do is lie to them and stab them in the back.

You're wrong!

I smashed my hoof into the ice, cracking it. Tears, cold tears, ran down my face before freezing on my cheeks. Doc looked startled and Lucky seemed scared.

“Hey I'm sorry. I just..."

I gave him a glare of such unplaced emotion that he shut up. I turned slowly to Doc, gesturing Lucky to put the blankets down.

"Make me a waterproof suit. A mask too if you can."

He nodded very quickly and began pulling a sewing needle and knife out to manipulate the pieces. I turned back to Lucky, whom was looked at me in something bordering on fear.

"Hey..." He began tentatively.

I cut him off. "I'm sorry. I have some issues I'm working with right now, but I'm cool."

"If you say so." He responded. Then muttered as he turned away, "Fucking mares and their weird shit."

Well, he certainly isn't going to be as friendly for a bit. Hell, I'm not very friendly right now. I just stood there and waited a few minutes. When I turned around to check on Doc's progress...

I was back in the chamber in my mind, uncertain of how I had lost consciousness. Baubles full of my memories were floating through the air, but far more frantically than normal. There was black on the horizon, the same darkness that had tried to take me the night before, but it stayed at a distance for now. I couldn't see Luna anywhere despite my frantic looking. I looked at the memories, but they seemed to all scatter randomly, buzzing around the large room. I looked at the closest and...

I flailed helplessly on the surface of the water trying to cough as much of the water out of my lungs as I could. It took me a few moments to regain control before I could take notice of the situation. I looked around and saw that the floor of the Icy Cellar had been shattered, and that there was a gaping hole in the ceiling. I looked for Lucky and saw him frantically trying to get the suit, which was floating next to a bloody corpse I recognized as Doc. Around the room I saw the remaining ponies having difficulty swimming in the bitter cold water. The cellar shook, and some ice fell...

Right into me. The sudden shock of being knocked back into my mind was jarring. The memories were rolling around on the floor after falling on my head. I stood up and looked around for something important, maybe something about what was going on right now, and one of the memories rolled towards me. I ignored it and looked for an explanation but...

The bitter cold shifted me back to reality where giant sheets of ice fell from the ceiling and sides of the chamber. I was next to Lucky and Gliding. I was holding the suit while Lucky looked at me expectantly.

"Well? What are we doing?" He yelled over the cacophony of splashes and rumbling that occurred around us. Another chunk of ice fell and a pegasus went under. The unicorns were no where to be seen, and only one other earth pony was paddling for dear life. Then a sheet of ice fell from the wall next to him and sliced neatly through his back. With a visceral spray of blood, a hindquarters and a chest floated away from each other. The organs trailing into the water as a pool of red formed around his lifeless body. I almost vomited right then and there. Then I remembered Lucky asking me a question. I opened my mouth but then a large chuck of ice fell into the water and the corresponding wave hit me...

Soft tears dripped off a purple mares face. "Because I need you."

I sat down, holding her in my hooves.

"It's going to be okay Twilight. We can do this."

She looked at me with such certainty and said, "It's not going to be okay. Not for me."

Her voice cracked with emotion while -

A voice yelled into the hole of turbulent water we struggled in. I couldn't hear it but Lucky looked like he was about to lose his shit, so I grabbed him - mostly to knock some sense into him but partly to hold something solid that was grounded in reality.

"Give the suit to Gliding and tell him to get out of here! I'm going to the center! I think I know who did this!" I practically screamed. "Follow after me!"

He yelled back something I couldn't hear, presumably an expletive. But I saw him fling the suit out of the corner of my eye as I started for the center of the room, right under the hole in the ceiling. The walls and ceiling had stopped cracking apart too late as the water was now full of sharp ice in both sheets and shards. The waves hadn't yet died down and the ice shifted and bumped around threateningly. I swam just barely in front of a particularly large sheet of ice that tapered down to a razor edge on my side when I heard a yell from behind. I looked and saw Lucky dive below the water to avoid decapitation.

"Lucky!"

Leave him. He is worthless.

Shut the hell up you annoying prick.

I dove under the water. If anything, this made the chill pierce through my adrenalin rush all the faster, but I needed Lucky. I looked quickly through the water, my eyes burning in the seemingly subzero liquid. I saw that flash of green and bit into his scrawny tail as I swam up with all my strength.

I broke the surface with a huge gasp as the large sheets of ice gradually moved closer to the center, surrounding me. I attempted to flare my wings out but ice had frozen some of the primary feathers. Grounded, at least metaphorically, because there certainly wasn't any ground to be found here.

Then a light shone from above, a purple glimmer that enveloped both Lucky and I and pulled us slowly upwards. I looked down at the ice shattering against each other mere moments after our levitation. As we were pulled up out of the hole in what seemed a mixture of solid ice, dirt, and then concrete, I could see bodies strewn around the obvious blast zone that had caused the hole. But there were two mares standing, one with her face scrunched up in concentration, the other smiling to see me. Lucky and I were set down on the edge of the hole while Twilight breathed heavily. Lucky looked unconscious, but he was breathing. Good enough.

I looked at Lyra as the adrenalin left my body and the tiring struggle and strain on my body took effect.

"That might have been the worst prison break ever. Of all time."

I was pretty sure I heard a chuckle from Lyra and some defensive comments from Twilight, but I didn't understand much of what they had said. My vision slowly faded, everything became muffled, and I took a well-deserved, though involuntarily, nap.

Author's Note

Revised as of December 11, 2014.

Chapter Twelve: Wear and Tear

There were many changes that had occurred since Equestria's destruction, the latest of which was the interesting fact that I no longer dreamed. There really didn't seem to be any reason to anymore now that I had this giant chamber full of latent memories that Luna had given me access to. The task of discovering the information hidden within my own memories seemed much more daunting when I was all alone in here.

I once again found myself pulled into this dreamscape, and despite the fact that I had seen Luna sacrifice herself to protect me from the cold clutches of death, a part of me couldn't help but call out to her, hoping that somehow I would receive a response. Maybe there was a slim chance she had survived. What if I simply couldn't sense her presence here because of how weak she was after the previous encounter with the darkness?

"Luna?" I cried out desperately.

There was no response except the chamber of my memories echoing the name throughout my mind. The darkest recesses of this place seemed to scream her name back at me, as though blaming me for her demise. Being here had once given me a sense of wonder, but now I only felt alone and afraid. I looked at the orbs for answers to my fears, the memories floated around peacefully orbiting some object in the center, seeming completely oblivious to my current predicament.

Like the orbs I needed to calm down, I was here with a mission that needed to be accomplished before I woke up and I couldn't do that if I just cried and gave up. I would push forward, no matter how much I missed her. Luna had once told me that these memories held the key to something important, but I had no idea where to begin.

I am far more attentive to them than you are.

Sigh...

The room had apparently been renovated after it had flooded the day before thanks to Twilight's foolish rescue attempt. Now, for whatever reason, the place appeared to be furnished similar to a large chapel. The mosaics were portraits of my friends and I, the same ones in Canterlot. Or rather, the ones that used to be in Canterlot. The faint light from whatever was beyond the room, my untamed subconsciousness I suppose, glowed through them and reflected off of all the memory orbs that floated around in slow orbits. The light danced around the chapel-like room.

It was pretty in a way, almost poetic.

I trotted over to the podium and stood behind it, glancing at the mesmerizing way the tiny baubles floated around. It was surreal watching my own mind. As I stood in awe a memory floated over and brushed against my head.

The storm was churning with lethal intent as her hooves bent the forces of nature to her will. The power she was infused with was immense.

How is my host doing? Enjoying the show?

I tried to ignore him, he had been goading me several times since he took control. Each time a little part of me broke.

I understand that this is your home. Surely you want this to stop?

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction this time. He would only make it worse. I had to be strong, resist his influence, and be there to beat him with the rest of my friends as soon as I broke free.

Just ask me to stop. If you truly want to save those that squalor in their ignorance, your kin, then beg for their lives.

I can't fall for his tricks. He'll just use any opportunity to talk to make me hurt more.

Nothing? How very heartless as to not say a word in their defense.

You won't listen to me. Dammit.

Try me mortal. Beg for those you love.

I mentally swallowed my pride.

Please don't kill them. Please don't do this. Please...

No.

Lightning began to strike homes below as the wind swept at speeds that could strip a wing of its feathers. My body remained untouched in his control. I could see rain part magically around raging infernos. A grin grew on my face that sickened me to my core. Black magics dripped off of me like tar and dissipated into the clouds.

All of Celestia's chosen children will die. This is the punishment for leaving me to an eternity of torment.

He screamed something in my voice incoherent to me as I mentally cringed. Soon he took me with him into a dive. A crackle of color mixed with onyx burst around me as we as we got closer and closer to the ground. Then before my very eyes he did something that had until my lifetime only been considered a legend, something I prided myself as the only pegasus to ever be capable of.

The explosion seemed to rip apart reality as large gouges formed in the earth. Chunks of dirt and what little remained of nearby houses were still falling as he drifted us up to a distance above to observe what he had wrought.

He had used my talent as a tool to kill all but a few choice survivors which he locked onto with glee.

I had hardly said a dozen words to him this time, but just as before it was pointless. I broke a little more.

My eyes tightened and I bit my lower lip, holding back tears. My heart pounding against my chest as I slowly slid to the floor next to the podium. I curled up and wept. I moaned and choked in sadness, calling out Luna's name, and Twilight's name, even Lyra's name. There was no answer to be found in the recess of my mind.

So I laid there completely alone until the crying stopped, the tears dried against my face, and I could breathe steadily once more.

Come on Rainbow, pull yourself together. You just need to stay away from all the bad memories obviously. What did Luna say about the memories again? What do I need?

I focused on what I knew and words in phrases leaped at me from the orbs.

Twilight and Celestia are alike in that way...

She is afraid of herself.

Ugh... It would be so much easier if she just told me. Why in Equestria is Twilight's future so bleak? Can't be much worse than what already happened, could it? Maybe if I just focus on Twilight then...

CLONK

I fell over grasping my head, glaring at a orb rolling slowly around my hooves. The orb that had just hit me.

I frowned. What the heck? I looked around. Behind me by a few feet was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in awhile.

"LUNA!"

I ran and jumped to hug her, rolled the both of us to the ground. Perhaps a bit "undignified", but Rarity wasn't here to tell me different.

Luna chuckled for a moment before pushing me gently off of her. I had barely gotten back up before I started asking questions.

"I thought you were dead, what happened?"

Luna stood as well, her stature shorter than I remember. She was also...

Her sad look upwards made me frown.

"Where is your horn?"

Luna sighed. "Gone I suppose. I gave the entirety of my magic to you in order to save your life. As a part of my magical connection to the world, my horn appears to have been stripped from me. As for me still being alive, I was barely alive in any sense to begin with. Its more that my soul is connected to your subconsciousness and I have unlocked the part of your brain that lets you think within that space. I expected the connection to be severed at any rate due to the magnitude of what I was attempting to do."

My face dropped. "You did that for me? But without your magic how will you..."

Luna looked slightly amused. "Well technically, you are now the sovereign of the moon. I have no power there anymore."

I looked at my hooves as they shook. "I... uh... don't... what?"

Luna rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "Don't worry, the moon will behave itself without your interference for quite some time."

I thought for a bit. "Was it you that cast a spell that saved the sun and moon earlier when Twilight and I were in the forest?"

"Yes. I cast the spell through you - surprisingly easy, considering you are a pegasus, but that could be attributed to your innate connection to the Element of Loyalty. Now however, I imagine that your pegasus magic will grow drastically, compounding upon your immortal strength. I am not entirely sure what all of the side effects will be but..."

"I'm not the Element of Loyalty anymore. I actually broke the thing."

Luna smirked. Why was she...? "You broke one of the most powerful magical artifacts in Equestria by accident? Somehow I doubt the possibility of that, regardless of what Twilight showed you."

I frowned for multiple reasons. "First off, I'd appreciate it if you restrained your memory reading to stuff that has to do with the what's going on now." No need for Luna to be seeing my fantasies at night or anything. "And I saw the Element myself. It is broken."

She seemed lost in thought the moment before she spoke. "Perhaps, all shall be revealed in time. And I think it might be too late for that first one - I accidentally stumbled upon something strange during a night after..."

I couldn't hear the rest of her sentence because I was rolling around screaming. It took several minutes for Luna to tell me she was joking before I calmed down: whether or not she told me the truth was debatable, but I couldn't deal with that on top of everything else. Honestly, I couldn't deal with everything else by itself.

She stood next to me and rolled the orb that had hit me - presumably she threw it for whatever reason - and spoke softly.

"You'll figure it all out in due time Rainbow Dash. I knew the consequences of my actions. You have the power of an immortal now, and I have selected you to champion me in a desperate gamble for this world. Are you up to the challenge?"

What else could I say? I mustered what confidence I had. "Yes."

Luna smirked. "Then we play the game of my sister. This creature, from whatever depths of Tartarus it crawled out of, will not expect you to come back fighting."

I lifted my head. "Do we have a chance of winning?"

Luna gave me a look of daring. "Since when does that keep you from trying?"

She nudged the small orb again.

I picked it up and rolled it in my hooves. It was perfectly clear, and barely the size of a inkwell.

Well, at least that meant it wasn't a horrible memory, those were the big ones, right?

I felt the smooth surface of the orb, holding it gently as I thought about entering the memory, or dream... whatever I'm supposed to call it. As I stared, it started shining, dim at first, but slowly getting brighter. I almost dropped it in surprise, but it was stuck to my hooves. I couldn't let go. Little by little the light grew brighter and soon seemed to blur the rest of the room as it encompassed my vision. The white covered everything until I was blinded in the eternal void of white. It was so cold, and so furiously bright, as though it was fighting to light itself brighter until my retinas burned and my eyes watered. I couldn't even see my own self through the burning, fiery light that had melted the world into a senseless empty of only the light. I thought I might go mad looking into the white until I saw a pair of shimmering purple eyes glaring though the light and into mine.

Then I knew I was mad.

I tried to move, but I was frozen. The white blur of the light began to focus like a camera, the world ebbing into existence around me. Trees grew around the purple eyes and earth rolled beneath them. Blue was poured into the canvas of the sky, specks of white lingering from the light as stars.

Then she formed fully. The eyes burst with color and filled the outline of her alicorn body. She was... fine. Healed. Normal.

She was Twilight.

I smiled sadly, immediately thinking about the injuries she sustained due to my actions. Celestia, I was miserable wasn't I?

"No, of course not."

What? I stopped dead, and looked at Twilight. She had just spoken to me! I was about to respond when I heard another voice.

"Well since there are no objections, we can begin flying lessons tomorrow!"

My voice. I felt myself smirk, and noticed my own rainbow mane in my peripheral, and came to the realization that I was in a memory, and she was talking to my memory. I stopped attempting to perform actions and let the memory unfold. I watched through my own eyes as I began to turn towards my cloud home when she called to me.

"Hey Rainbow?"

I slowly spun on my hooves, and looked back at her pensively, as she shyly shrunk back.

"What Twilight?"

She looked at me with a nervous glance and quietly asked, "You would never think differently of me if I was different would you?"

I was about to laugh in response to such a silly question, but I - in a startling display of tact - responded seriously.

"Of course not Twilight. I didn't think any differently when you got wings did I? Why do you ask?"

She shrugged, avoiding the question quite obviously. I sighed and simply let it go. For now.

"Goodnight Twilight."

She smiled. "Goodnight Rainbow."

Then my eyes opened to a dull grey and brown world. I mentally rolled my eyes. Luna runs me through some random memory, and then throws me back into the world where I could use the information from said memory without letting me think about it. Nice to know nothing has changed.

"Ugh... Stupid brain."

My voice seemed to get a response from the room. I heard some soft scuffles of hooves on rock and a couple voices start talking. I'd listen if my head wasn't throbbing so much. Then somepony shook me and my eyes were greeted by a minty green pony.

"Hellooooooo? You in there Rainbow Dash?"

She had such a look on her face of concern, but also suppressed embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"THEN TELL THEM CRAZY MARES TO LET ME GO! GAHHHHHH!"

A sudden yell broke the silence and Lyra helped me up. Lyra looked at me before turning me towards the yelling pony, who was hogtied and had only just managed to get the bit out of his mouth.

"Oh, hey Lucky."

Lyra looked me in the eyes with curiosity obvious in her face, "You actually know him?"

"I TOLD YOU A MILLION 'EFFING TIMES!" Lucky yelled, before rolling over onto his face and saying obscenities into the blanket he landed on, which muffled him.

"Yeah," I said. I took a moment to take in my surrounding while Lyra rolled her eyes and walked over to untie Lucky. We appeared to be in a cave with a small opening to my left, my back against the wall where the blankets, presumably for sleeping on, lay. Across the cave on the opposite wall was Lucky, being untied in his little area by Lyra. There was a campfire that wasn't lit in the center, and in the back of the cave was a large, flat stone upon which were some papers and a few bottles of water. Two saddlebags with packs attached lay next to it on the cave floor, easily recognizable as Twilight's and Lyra's. Then finally there was Twilight.

Many complicated emotions ran through me as I glanced at the lavender mare with large scabs covering her severed limbs and other, fresher, wounds coating her body. I wanted to ask her why she caused such violence in her red rage, but fear stayed my voice. I wanted to know the reason behind her own fear, but caution kept me silent. I...

I concern myself mostly with myself don't I?

I trotted slowly over to Twilight, noting the wary glance she gave me as I approached. Could she be mad at me? Most likely. Nearing her as one would an armed explosive, I asked quietly, "How are you Twilight?"

She looked at me curiously, taken aback. Then her brow furrowed and she stood from the rock that acted as her chair.

"Disappointed. What kind of idiocy does it take to leave in the middle of a dangerous forest while being chased by goddess-like forces? And leave us behind to chase after you like fillies, not to mention what we did to the prison we just rescued you from!"

She seemed mad, but very thinly so. More like she was scolding a rowdy foal than berating her friend from getting captured. The whole situation made me chuckle, a murderer and a bomb-maker saved from a corrupt goddess by another goddess's protege and some bar-mare. I was instantly reminded of the utterly ridiculous plots from Daring Do novels. So I broke out in stupid, shock filled laughter.

At first Lyra looked at me like I was nuts, along with Twilight, but soon they were both chuckling along with me. I rolled around on the floor, and rolled into Lyra's legs, who toppled onto me. Soon we were laughing out our emotions.

Lucky looked petrified. "The hell is so funny? C'mon? You mares still got brains or should I just bolt?"

Twilight smirked lightly as the laughter toned to smiles. "Never do that again Rainbow. You swore to help me with this, whatever may come."

I nodded back at her.

"I take it that you are alright then, RD?"

I blew Lyra's mane out from my eyes and shoved her off me playfully. "Yeah, ya know. I'm the best, what could hurt me? So this, my fine mares, is Lucky!" I gestured to the green pony standing a few hooves away.

He was not amused. "Why can't someponies be a little more trusting? Do I look like a villain or something?" He looked at his hooves.

Lyra chuckled as she stood. "Of course not, we just don't really trust anypony when we have this whole secret mission thing to do." She pause for a moment and thought. "Does this mean that you are the fourth? I figured the fourth would have the radio, and you don't have anything on you, I searched pretty thoroughly."

Lucky muttered an upset, "Don't I know it."

Twilight opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again to speak. "Listening ahead is not good for anypony Lyra, and just confuses the buck out of the rest of us."

Lyra shrugged unconcernedly. "Well Lucky?"

"I mean, yeah. But it's all the way in Stalliongrad, back at my place. It's a useless piece of junk, only plays like three songs. And pushing the alternate mode just makes it say, 'Please insert horn and transfer memo...' "

He would have continued had he not been surrounded by a violet aura and levitated upside-down. I turned to Twilight, who looked livid.

"Lyra, you are now banned from any and all questions. Lucky, you are no longer allowed to talk about anything pertaining to the radio, any knowledge of the radio, or anything regarding said radio. Do I make myself clear?"

"Am I really banned from questions?"

Twilight dropped Lucky - "Oi!" - and turned to Lyra with a frown. "Should I let you continue to join in our quest?"

A shrug. "Eh, fair enough. I'll limit, but if it's important, I'm asking."

"Really Lyra?" I said in a lower voice as Twilight helped Lucky to his hooves, "That's it?"

I got a sad glance. "I'm trying to get back on her good side. I saw her bad side on the way here, it's not pretty."

I flapped my wings and ruffled Lucky's mane. "Anyways, Lucky here helped me out in the prison. Lucky, this is Twilight Sparkle and Lyra Heartstrings. They're my entourage." I said with bravado.

Lucky seemed displeased. "So I'm the only stallion? How long did the last one live?"

Twilight walked back to her table and started sorting things back into her saddlebags as Lyra rolled up the blankets laid around the floor with her magic. Lucky and I just watched as the two magic-users got travel ready within a minute.

Twilight looked at us both before putting a saddlebag on Lucky and I. She left the mouth of the cave and into the dark night. Lyra soon followed. Lucky turned to me and whispered, "Why is the messed up one so pissy? She fight a manticore and lose or somethin'?"

I looked at him sadly. "No, that was me."

All because of you. Worthless.

I ground my teeth as he recoiled a bit, then looked at me with much more scrutiny. Lucky seemed to chose his words carefully before speaking. "Your life always like this?"

"Recently... yes."

"Huh. Can we talk about the whole prison break thing, and the explosions? 'Cause that isn't normal to me. Well, I suppose the explosion bit is..."

I sighed. "Yeah, and I'll have to, like, triple thank them for that too."

"So where are we going now?"

I looked out the cave, to where Twilight was talking with Lyra. "With them, and probably to the ends of the Equestria. But right now, I think we will just be traveling to Stalliongrad."

We slowly trotted towards the mouth of the cave. "Why there?"

"Oh, same reason I told you I was going to go, looking for the mysterious black market bomb maker."

He frowned. "I told ya I was the pony you were lookin' for."

I smiled. "Yeah. I know."

Lucky gave a blank stare. "I can honestly say that I understand less than I did two weeks ago about the world."

I rolled my eyes. "Listen." I started lowering my voice to a whisper, just in case. "There is this whole thing going on here with Lyra and Twilight knowing a lot more about this whole situation than I do. Give me a day or two to get them talking and figure out what I'm supposed to do. Twilight needs me for something..."

"She certainly needs something alright."

"...and I don't know what I need to do yet, but it involves the damn radios. I need you to hide yours when we reach your place and get it to me without Twilight or Lyra finding out. Alright?"

Lucky didn't really look thrilled at my idea, but he nodded after a few moments. "You're the boss around here far as I'm concerned. Between my brains and your brawn, we got this made."

Huh? "Wait, your the brains?"

"Well, listen here, I got to have something going for me right? Twilight's got the magics, Lyra is your girlfriend, and after seeing you beat the shit outta Braeburn you must be the brawn. What else is left for me?"

I.. uh...

"Lyra is not my girlfriend!"

Chapter Thirteen: While You Were Gone

"Guys!"

Our hooves kicked up dirt as Lucky and I caught up to Twilight and Lyra. The small dirt path out of the cave ended abruptly and gave way to the cold tundra of Northern Equestria. A few sparse trees could be seen around the cave mouth, but beyond us was nothing but empty wastes; as barren of substance as a clear sky, and just as white as clouds. Mountain peaks that threatened to tear the sky asunder loomed to the northwest.

Lucky and I skidded when we caught up to the two in the snow, almost falling over. Twilight looked at me with some remnants of distaste, so I gave her a playful smile in hopes of defusing her attitude.

"Hey Twi, ya know I'm really sorry right?"

She rolled her eyes and muttered in a tone that I probably wasn't supposed to hear but did anyways.

"Not the worst thing you've done."

She coughed and stood straight on her three legs. Lyra tossed Lucky her pack, which he took unhappily. Not having any supplies himself, Lyra seemed all too pleased to give him something to carry.

"So I figured since Rainbow Dash is generally uninformed on the current regime, I'd inform her." Lyra pointedly looked at Twilight.

Twilight started to scowl but stopped herself. "Just do it out of my sight. I don't want to hear your opinions on the logical system that was well implemented for the good of Equestria, despite what others might think."

Lyra rolled her eyes and started to nudge me off the path to the left.

"Oi! Don't leave me here with... hehehe, hey."

The conversation between Lucky and Twilight was drowned out as Lyra and I got further away in the wastes. Getting out of sight proved difficult given the general lack of terrain, but we trudged over a small hill and found that we couldn't see them from the other side. The hill proved to be a ridge running parallel between us and our companions. We kept trotting along, not wanting to get left behind.

"So... the current regime, eh?"

Lyra snorted. "The tyranny you mean? And I was trying to be nice."

Frowning, I thought about the Goddess that I heard for a moment before she threw me in prison. Did nice exist anymore? I stopped myself before I thought any more about Kindness and what that would lead me to.

"Stalliongrad, New Appleoosa, and a few refugee camps are all that remain as far as permanent settlements. The fucking Princess of the Dawn and Dusk insists that all unicorns go to new Appleoosa, as well as any talented pegasi, or earth ponies with practice in combat. Then they get shipped out from there to somewhere even further away."

I kicked a loose rock with a forehoof as we continued on the cracked earth. "Is she building an army?"

"Certainly seems like it. But she must be close to New Appleoosa, because of the aura kept on it at all times."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Isn’t that what made Twilight act so weird?"

"Yeah. She forgot..."

"Huh?"

Lyra blinked and shook her head a bit. "Nothing. The aura keeps everyone happy and carefree. Happy workers equals productive workers. The factories output more product, the fields are more fertile, and because they’re always in a state of ignorant bliss, the citizens are happy to pay taxes. The Princess doesn't do it because she loves her subjects, she’s just trying to further her own goals."

"What goals?"

Lyra frowned. "I wish I knew. The idea is that she’s building a resistance, and it needs armor and weapons. I just can't shake this feeling. Why would an army need so many electrical supplies? Or anti-magic horn locks? Sure, maybe a bit, but not in vast supplies."

I turned to her in curiosity.

"Oh. Well maybe I left the emissaries with a bit more than her bits. Got some documents, just nothing on the Princess. It seems like her emissary has been making the factories produce electrical equipment as its main focus, or it least that’s what the manifests lead me to believe. What in Equestria is she making with it all?”

My first thoughts were of the radio. “Maybe it has something to do with the radio Twilight has?”

Lyra frowned and shook her head. “That wouldn’t make any sense. Why would the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk give Twilight a radio? She couldn’t possibly know…” Lyra trailed off as she went deeper into thought.

I could not have been quieter in the moment where I hoped Lyra would give up information about the radio; but as the moment dragged into minutes, I realized there was nothing to be gained from Lyra. She wasn’t going to tell me anything either.

“What about the anti-magic horn locks?”

Lyra shook her head, presumably of idle thoughts. “That’s what seemed most suspicious to me. Is she imprisoning unicorns somewhere? What else would you use those for?”

“Is it possible she’s using them on changelings?”

Lyra nodded. “Maybe. All the subterfuge, blatant lying to Equestrian citizens, invasion, hidden identities… It's going to drive me mad!" She stomped her hooves to prove the point before continuing onwards.

My mind drifted back to what had happened while I was imprisoned. “How did you two find me anyways?”

“I didn’t. Twilight did all the work, so you should probably ask her for the full story. I mainly just tagged along. How did you get imprisoned anyways?”

I started to tell the story of why I had abandoned the two of them - omitting the memory bit, I still wasn’t quite ready to share my only bit of information that I knew nopony else had - when Lyra cut me off after hearing that I had encountered the Princess of the Dawn and Dusk.
In an instant Lyra had me pinned and shook my shoulders. "WHAT DID..." She noticed the situation we were in and coughed nervously before getting up and regaining her composure. I barely was able to contain my laughter.

"I mean, what did she sound like?"

"Well, it was gruff, and deep. Definitely feminine. She sounded like she was tired and upset." Not all that surprising, considering the general opinion of me in the world.

"Recognize it at all?"

I sighed. "Unfortunately no. She did say something interesting though. She said 'I swore to never see her again' when she was talking about me."

"Really? So at the very least it is someone you knew before... the thing."

"Yeah. But since I've met Luna and Celestia and Cadence before, it doesn't really change much."

Lyra turned to face me and stopped trotting. "What if they weren't the only options? What if someone else was able to fill the position? Like… a very powerful unicorn. Twilight turned into an alicorn before all this, what if she wasn't the only one?"

I was about to ridicule her comment, but then the seriousness of her tone made me really think. I knew nothing about how Twilight got turned into an alicorn, but was it possible somepony else was able to make that change?

"That's what I think might be our answer." Lyra trotted forward again.

As I followed her, I thought of some answers I wanted. "What is Stalliongrad like then? If it doesn't have that aura?"

A loud snort. "Terrible. You will never find a more unregulated den of corruption and violence. Everypony out there thinks the end of the world means that crime is legal, that consequences are gone, and Equestria is going to die regardless of what they do. Not that it was that great before, but still. Crime is now organized, the city's mayor is more of a figurehead than a pony with real power. The biggest reason that they comply to anything that the Princess wants is because if they don't, then the Princess might come over and fuck with their 'perfect system'. They can't even be bothered to organize against the damn evil things in the world right now, they just ship ore to Appleoosa."

"Does anypony fight?"

"Only defensively. As I've said, Princess ‘Leave the Fugitives That Can't Work or Fight to Fend for Themselves’ is taking all the fighters to an undisclosed location. Meanwhile ponies are being butchered as the darkness moves closer, tearing refugee camps apart on its way. It's sick."

"There must be another reas..."

"No!" She turned to me with tears just starting to appear in her eyes. "No Rainbow Dash, don't you dare justify her. The ends never justify the means. Never. I refuse to believe that." She turned from me and started walking back up the ridge towards Twilight and Lucky. I had obviously touched a sore spot for her, and I made a promise to myself to make it up to her.

Stumbling I caught up with a flurry of my wings - had almost forgotten about those things given the number of times I've been too injured to use them recently. "Wait Lyra!" I landed in front of her and made eye contact.

"I promise that I won't forget that." Then I choked out, "I Pinkie promise."

Lyra made half of a smirk, but that was close enough to a smile for me. "C'mon Loyalty." She dragged out my nickname. "Let's catch up to those two, they aren't far ahead."

"I just have one more thing, how did this all happen so fast?"

Lyra shrugged. "The ‘Princess’ appears to be very well organized." This was the only answer I received, and it told me possibly less than nothing.

It took us less than two minutes, and we caught up with two completely silent ponies. Lucky turned to me and whispered. "I don't think she likes me. She won't say a damn thing. She just stares."

Twilight chuckled lightly, amused. “The list of ponies I like has grown short as of late, you’re fortunate I let you come along at all.” Her wing fluttered lightly by her side.

I trotted up to Twilight and…

Kill her

...asked her a question with my teeth grinding. “Hey Twilight, how did you find me?”

Twilight stopped and pondered my question. After casting a quick spell, she nodded mutely and starting getting some things out of her pack. I was just about to ask what she was doing when she spoke.

“The story might take a bit and it’s nearly nightfall, we should set up camp.” As the uncontested leader of the group had spoken, we all took out the supplies and began making camp. I had to fly off and search for branches to keep the fire going, but after gathering a sizable pile, I went back to the ground to rest with them. Around a campfire the four of us laid, the bright flames staving off the cold air of Northern Equestria.

Lucky seemed improved since his condition in the Ice Cellar, and he seemed a little less skittish around Lyra and Twilight after having some time around them, brief as it was. My vouching for Lucky to Twilight and Lyra probably factored into his ease of mind. His gaze appeared to linger on the fire as he briefly frowned, but the image was gone so quickly I wasn’t sure I had seen it at all. Gathering things for the camp he had been mostly unhelpful, but he claimed it was the strain of the prison escape and that he should avoid too much manual labor.
Lyra had a weak smile on her face as she would glance at me every few seconds, looking away before I could make eye contact. I needed to figure out how to get information out of her, somehow she seemed to have a pretty good grasp of our situation whereas the rest of us knew almost nothing.

Twilight laid directly across from me. She looked better as far as her wounds went, but the emotional stress of this quest and the situation of the world seemed to be taking its toll on her. I gave her a look, waiting for her to begin her story.

“It started when Lyra and I were arguing…”

Lyra was slowly raising her voice at me as she talked, obviously upset.

“It's tyranny. This alicorn has completely abandoned these ponies. I saw one of the camps outside Ponyville, the place had absolutely no defenses and was less than a mile from where the Endless Dark’s influence was. They were living in fear and sickness!"

I glared at her in a fervor. "It's a logical approach! Accommodating for them would be difficult and yes, drain resources. There is no way that everyone could be helped! It's for the good of Equestria that some survive to fight back instead of everyone barely surviving until the Endless Dark takes us all!"

"It doesn't matter! We can be better than that!"

Lyra doesn’t understand how government works; how ruling works. After being under Celestia’s tutelage for five years I have learned much about the inner workings of her government and the aspects that are implemented at the cost of some ponies comfortability in order to ensure more fair treatment for all. There are many things I cannot expect Lyra, or most of Equestria for that matter, to comprehend, but they should have the mind to be loyal to the infrastructure whose sole purpose is the survival and betterment of ponykind.

I have done the research. We have maybe weeks until the encroaching forces our foe has let loose utterly overwhelm any defenses we have left. We are hopelessly out of our realm of expertise and unless we do something to gain an edge we are doomed to extinction. Maybe having the weak pay the price isn’t noble, but if it ensures our future then I think they would have been honored to be martyrs for the cause. I know Lyra and many others do not share this sentiment.

I’ll move on before Lyra pops a vein.

Lyra proceeded to say some very heartless things about me and my family line in the time I assume it took you, Rainbow, to steal my things and make off with them. I would like a full explanation of your actions as well at some point Dash if we are going to make a real attempt to rebuild our friendship.

Continuing, I noticed that you had gone sometime after Lyra attempted to hit me only to be suspended midair by my magic. She probably continued with her tirade on how my opinions and thoughts were wrong but my mind was elsewhere. It was truly obvious once I saw my things missing that you had flown off with them. I set Lyra down.

“What do you think you are doing…”

I shut her up with my magic and gave her a quick glance before motioning to the spot you were at not five minutes ago. Lyra’s eyes got wide as she looked for my radio and discovered it stolen. I’ll admit, at this point I may have gotten slightly perturbed.

And by perturbed you mean, and I quote.“Where in the living fuck did Dash go?”

Lyra, Rainbow asked for my tale of how we came to save her, and your input is not required. Regardless, I decided to cast a spell to search for your location, but the moment before I cast it…

She showed up.

Lyra could only sense that there was a magical force keeping the chariot aloft due to her not being as in tune with magical essence as I, but I knew that it had to be the Princess of the Dawn and the Dusk due to the strength of the aura. Connections quickly leapt in my mind and without a doubt I knew that she was going to find you momentarily and send you to the Ice Cellar. Although I’ve never seen it while under Celestia’s tutelage, I’d heard tales and reports on the isolation and protection it offered.

How did you know where she would be sent so quickly?

I have a very strong intuition, Lucky. Live long enough to know me better and you’ll figure that out. After clearing camp and packing Lyra’s things, we quickly set off in the same direction as the chariot. I was hoping to recover my things before you were captured. Luckily enough, it appears that you ditched my very important and very fragile radio and other assets while flying at max speed over a forest, which was very kind of you.

Is that sarcasm? I’m detecting some sarcasm here.

Well sorry if I’m a bit upset at the mare who managed to steal all of what’s left of my possessions and then immediately throw them into the wind at the mercy of gravity. Honestly, why bother stealing them in the first place?

Upon finding my baggage on the forest floor I glanced upwards into the sky, scanning for the chariot; but it had managed to elude us and as I had gathered, capture you. Despite not being able to see the Princess herself it was undeniable that she would pursue you personally.

Yeah, why is she so mad at me?

I… I would assume she blames you for the current state of Equestria. She is right to some extent, but now that I think about it maybe she has made some rash decisions.

It doesn’t really matter. Too late to change anything vital.

It was at this point Lyra turned to me and asked about the situation.

“What’s going on? Where is Rainbow Dash?”

I tried to remain civil but the fact that I came to these conclusions within seconds and in the five minutes we followed the chariot she couldn’t realize the severity of what was happening.

“Lyra, would you please shut your muzzle while I do the work here? Goddesses, I wish I didn't have to take you with me.”

Lyra I’m sure wanted to say some less than savory things in retort, but your capture had thrown a painful snag in the plan that is already beyond difficult. I trekked across the forests into the beginnings of the Northern Wastes with Lyra trailing behind. We had to camp twice in the snow before we managed to locate the prison.

It really was a marvel of construction – a large steel behemoth built mostly underground. The sharp spires of the parapets were scattered around the iron-wrought walls that encased the compound. It was singularly suited for the detainment of high profile criminals of the highest flight risk.

There weren’t that many Pegasi there…

Flight risk means that they… You’re making a joke aren’t you Dash?

Maybe…

Ugh… I searched around for a point of entrance and found that the entire facility was still highly guarded. There were at least four patrols of trained royal guard and each corner of the place had a small squad of pegasi. I was under the assumption that this place would be more run down given the circumstances, but the soldiers here were loyal to a fault. I waited until the guard was swapping at precisely…

How did you see all this?

What do you mean?

All I saw was you look at the place for about a minute before you told me we were about to teleport inside.

I made some quick calculations based upon the time of day, the devotion and skill of the guard in their adherence to schedule. Then I recalled the normal scheduling of the guard for high security prisons around Stalliongrad and any protocol put in place by local governing bodies and…

We get the picture. Damn, why is she so long winded?

She used to be a librarian.

Ah, makes sense. Never liked librarians myself. Too stuck up…

And too good for you as well it seems. If you really want to get along, Lucky, then maybe you should start with some common courtesy. Regardless, I proceeded to teleport Lyra and myself within a chamber underneath the compound, directly above the prison cell block devoted to the worst in the place.

And then we found you two after Twilight blew the fuck out of the floor with some crazy rage-induced alicorn power.

I was going to say I cast a controlled deton…

Controlled!? Everypony but Lucky and I got sliced due to the avalanche you threw down at us!

Maybe I was a little upset. The spell reacted with the wards placed by my… The Princess of the Dawn and Dusk in a way…

What was that?

Nothing Dash, just a slip of the tongue.

You know who the Princess is.

…

Why haven’t you told us? Is that why the radio didn’t tell me…

“Lyra, I can’t say. I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you about anything that I know unless you come to the facts on your own. It’s for your protection.”
The tone around the fire had changed drastically. Lyra and I glared at Twilight with anger for her intentionally withholding information from us and Lucky looked upset that he was sitting between Twilight and I. I couldn’t believe she actually knew who the Princess was! There were assumptions, of course, but I assumed anything important to the mission we were on would’ve been shared already.

“Twilight,” Lyra began with a sharp voice. “What exactly are you protecting us from by keeping us in the dark? I thought you had the same information I had, nothing more.”

Twilight bit her lip and looked into the flames. She took a few long moments as the winds of the tundra blew, whistling softly into the darkness.

“I have been gifted and burdened with knowledge. If I am to use this knowledge to any efficiency, I must stay the course as it is.”
That seemed like a familiar quote.

“You’re quoting Daring Doo? Now of all times?” I couldn’t believe Twilight. She was the serious one of the group after all, if it was me it would make sense. She didn’t respond as my mind racked what character spoke that line. Then I finally remembered.

“Daring Doo said that after she read a book about her future. She didn’t divert from what the book said because the book gave her the secrets to saving the lives of those around her from an untimely demise. However, the book ended in her death. Only the sacrifice of her companion Safe Winds saved her.”

Twilight gave a sad smile. “Possibly the most dynamic and interesting read of the entire series, if a bit cliche.”

Lyra frowned. “What exactly is going on with you Twilight?”

Twilight stood with her wing out and stepped a few hooves away from the fire. Glancing at the dull grey sky as best she could through the dim light of night she spoke. “A Princess should always look out for her subjects first, Equestria second, and herself last. Who said that one Dash?”

“Celestia?” I assumed.

Twilight shook her head. “Luna did - right before she began her campaign as Nightmare Moon.” Twilight said very little for the next few minutes as Lucky took the silence as a chance to leave and fled to inside his tent while Lyra and I mouthed silently to each other across the fire, inquiring about what she meant by it.

Twilight broke the silence. “After rescuing you and the prisoner that claimed to be your friend from the cell, Lyra carried you both with her magic as I carved a way out.”

The walls were thick stone imbued with wards meant to prevent even the strongest unicorns from piercing its shell. Now recovered and at my full strength, they were naught but ice before my flame. I tore apart wall after hall after room after building in my anger.

Then the guards arrived. The few guards with their spears and crossbows.

I impaled them upon their own weapons and drove the pegasi to the earth in my rage. What was the point in being non lethal when they would only pursue us further to Stalliongrad. Their wings broke like glass and bled like rivers.

It would’ve been horribly tragic if it wasn’t so insignificant.

I am not putting the citizens of Equestria before Equestria itself. What is the point of everyone living just so we can die in the Northern Wastes or be consumed by hunger and thirst in the deserts as all of Equestria is consumed by the locusts that are known as changelings? Equestria must survive.

Judging by Lyra’s fierce look she doesn’t agree with me. The sacrifice of a few for the good of the many is a lesson that you shouldn’t have to learn or live with, but I am Princess. I do not get to adhere to the luxuries of civility anymore, not in times like this.

I killed droves of ponies as we fled from the prison complex. I will most likely be forced to kill more ponies, more creatures of the Everfree, and more beings I have never even encountered before. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you Rainbow Dash, but you wanted to know what I withheld from you.

Lyra’s policy of the ends not justifying the means is so naive. Before you judge me so harshly and listen to her reassuring lies, answer this.
If you had to kill in order to save Lyra, would you?

Goodnight.

Lyra and I sat quietly as the fire dimmed. I was dumbstruck under this bombardment of information. Was I supposed to be sad? Angry? Maybe I wasn’t supposed to feel anything.

She’s right.

Maybe she is.

“She can’t be right.”

Twilight is smarter than me, why wouldn’t she be?

“I refuse to believe her.”

Denial isn’t a brilliant thing to do Lyra.

“You don’t believe her, do you?”

I looked over at Lyra. She stared back with her teary eyes, pleading for the answer that I knew I could easily give her.

I said nothing and frowned towards the flames. Lyra started crying gently and I scooted next to her so I could hold her.

It was the only thing I could really do.