Kiss Her, She's Lyrish!

by Alicorn_Avionics

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 2094

A stallion gets daring one St. Patrick's day.

Tanner Cleff never had much luck when it came to mares. His social awkwardness often thwarted even the best attempts of his wing-pony and trusted confidant Cooper.

So when the seemingly perfect moment presents itself to steal a duty-free kiss one St. Patrick's Day, Tannor takes his chance.

**Cover art vector by Jerick at DeviantArt**
Inspired by the cover art of the Hot Topic variant MLP comic #4.

Published 2013-04-13 06:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-13 06:50:02 UTC

Sláinte!

Kiss Her, She's Lyrish!
Sláinte!

March in Ponyville was a month of relative calamity. Preparations for Winter Wrap-Up gripped the attention of the town from the first day of the month 'till the last vestige of winter was gone. Earth ponies sharpened their skates, checked and double checked their plows for faults, and collected the seeds needed for the next growing season. The pegasi ran long endurance runs around the Everfree Forest and through Whitetail Woods to build up their strength and stamina for the marathon run to the southern latitudes while the weather teams practiced their cloudbusting techniques. Those which remained gathered the supplies needed to rouse the hibernating creatures of the area.

So imagine the celebrations which would ensue if the town was granted a day to kick back, relax, and just all around party mere days before the tedious task of bringing spring into season. Officially, no such day existed, but for those within The Moonlight Tavern on the evening of St. Patrick's Day, it might as well been decreed an Equestrian holiday by Celestia herself.

The patrons of the tavern bobbed merrily to the tune of the live band placed at the back of the room. Cardboard shamrocks, as well as their natural counterparts, could be found dotting the walls or spread across tables. Green bunting and streamers hung from the rafters while many guests wore varying shades and hues of green. Some wore hats and vests, others glasses, one even arrived in a full emerald suit to mark the occasion. As Mr. Jigger, the owner and bartender of his little tavern, looked over the scene, he could see nothing but smiles on all those present.

All, except for one.

"Jigger! Pour me another, and get a frosty one for the birthday colt; he needs to loosen up!" Two mugs were promptly filled and slid down the length of the bar into the waiting hooves of a ruddy-brown stallion. "Come on Tannor, drink up! Not many ponies can say they've got their birthday on St. Patty's Day!"

"No Cooper, you know I don't drink." Came the sullen response from the cobalt blue pegasus next to him. "Besides, it won't help me forget her."

"One: You don't drink as much as me, but you still drink; Two: You and I both know it can help you forget the whole thing, and; Three: It's your Luna-cursed birthday! At the very least, raise a glass to your own health," Cooper retorted before taking a swig of his drink. "Besides, it couldn't have gone as bad as your attempt at Rose."

"It was worse. I, uh, 'presented' when I first saw her." Cooper pondered what his friend meant before nearly spitting his cider across the bar. "Yeah, I said it was bad. I just couldn't help it, those beautiful lavender eyes of hers are just, just so... beautiful. The way she does her mane, and that cute little bow-tie of hers..."

Cooper choked on another mouthful of cider. "You didn't go after Octavia, did you? Aren't you two practically cousins?"

"Celestia, no! We're not cousins! Just because we both have cutie-marks in music doesn't mean we're related!" Tannor sighed heavily before returning to staring into his mug of cider. "I don't know what I'm going to do now. She won't even look at me."

"Just move past her. Besides, in a few days, it'll be you and nearly every pegasus mare in town flying south. Surely you could find somepony. What about Cloudchaser?"

"Weatherteam."

"Flitter?"

"Tried."

"Air Heart?"

"With someone."

"Thunderlane?"

"Hmm... I don't think I- wait, that's a stallion!"

"Just seeing if you're paying attention, but moping about it isn't going to change a thing. Tomorrow's another day. Now come on!" Cooper said as he raised his mug for a toast. "Fortune favors the bold, does it not?" Tannor responded by returning the toast and throwing back his head for the first swig, brightening somewhat as he brought his mug down. He suddenly noticed just how thirsty he was and within five minutes another mug with his name on it was on its way down the bar. Tannor was beginning to enjoy himself again, joining the crowd in their raucous off-key singing.

Apparently Cooper was right about him forgetting his troubles, for after his third cider, he found himself eyeing the door for possible dates as they sauntered in for a night of revelry. His jaw dropped to the floor as a mint green mare cantered in and took a seat at the bar, quickly striking up conversation with Mr. Jigger. She obviously thought simply being green wasn't enough for tonight, as she wore an elaborate green blouse, detailed with all manor of shamrock patterns and traditional designs. Before Tannor could get too worked up about asking her name, Cooper nudged him in the ribs.

"I know that look, Tannor. Who's the mare that's caught your eye?" The pegasus could only point limply in his impaired state. "Oh-ho, Lyra Heartstrings. She's a nice one. Helped her and her roommate move into a new apartment not too long ago. Go ahead, get her a drink, you'll like her."

"Wait, that's Lyra? Isn't she like a... you know... a filly-fooler?" He whispered, as though she might hear him from across the bar.

"What? You're basing that on the fact she spends all her time with Bon-bon, right? They just share an apartment, is all. Heck, I even dated Bon-Bon for awhile."

"You did?"

"Yeah, let's just say she's not as sweet as her name implies," Cooper said flatly.

A sudden cheer from the mixing crowd caught their attention. Lyra had moved to the center of the tavern and began to dance a lively jig, much to the delight of the other patrons. Tannor idly followed her skipping form, the ciders or the music causing him to sway with the rhythm. He wasn't sure which influenced him more, but he didn't care. He got to see this wonderful mare dance the night away.

"You should kiss her, she's Lyrish."

Tannor jolted from his stupor at the mention and whirred on his barstool to look at Cooper, nearly falling to the floor in the process. "What?"

"She's Lyrish." A slight hiccough was the only reply. "Everypony knows that on St. Patty's Day, you're supposed to kiss a Lyrish mare. It's tradition."

"I-I don't know, what if I-" Tannor weighed his options as he took another look at the object of his infatuation. Her song had ended, and she was heading back to the bar. If it was tradition, who was he to say no? Besides, he did like Lyra, and there was the chance she might like him too. What was the harm? It was his birthday anyway, he deserved it! He furrowed his brow in a loose semblance of determination and hopped off his barstool before needing to brace himself on the bar. "I'll do it!"

"Whoa, easy there tiger!" Cooper caught his shoulder. "Not yet. Wait in the crowd until she's in the center again, then kiss her. It'll be... more traditional." Cooper lied. While he did want Tannor to find a mare of his own, he loved to mess with the poor colt even more. Tonight was almost too perfect!

"Okay! I'll wait for her." Cooper let him go stagger off into the crowd while trying to stifle his own laughter. Jigger sidled up next to him and began to wipe down their collection of mugs.

"Who's he after this time, Cooper?"

"Lyra!"

"So you sent him after the Irish Devil? Hoo boy..." Cooper stopped his sniggering. "Snowflake! Head down to Ponyville General and get Nurse Redheart. Cooper's friend is gonna need her."

"She's already here," the burly bouncer replied, pointing towards a far corner where Redheart was dancing the evening away with four other mares from the hospital, all dressed in shamrock-printed scrubs.

"Oh, good."

"Jigger, just what in Tartarus do you mean by 'Irish Devil?'" Cooper asked as the band began again. He watched as Lyra left the bar and took a place near the center of the tavern. Tannor was nowhere to be found.

"Ah, that's right, you moved in last May. Well, last St. Patrick's Day, Lyra came in all dolled up like she is tonight. She sang and danced, and made a real impression with more than a few sauced stallions. One thinks he can have a go at her and before he knows it, bam, he's got a black eye. Another has a go, and gets his lights knocked out. Deserved it really, the bum took a grab at her flank. Anyway, long story short, by last call she'd punched out nine stallions, even knocked out two more. Hope your pal's got good insurance.

Cooper's face paled. He dove into the group of partrons to find Tannor and save him from his fate. The crowd began to clap to the beat of the music as a few ponies began dancing along with it, Lyra amongst them. They all kept time, until Lyra decided to break into the song's verse:

"See the lassies smile, laughing all the while

At me curious style, 'twould set your heart a bubblin'

Asked me was I hired, wages I required,

I was almost tired of the rocky road to Dublin."

The crowd filed away and circled her, allowing the mare to have the spotlight. Cooper was shoved away towards the sides of the room in the process. Lyra's bright smile was infectious as the song continued into its chorus.

"One, two, three four, five,

Hunt the Hare and turn her down the rocky road

all the way to Dublin, Whack follol de rah!"

Tannor let a smile of his own grow upon his face. He was about to go kiss the most attractive mare he'd seen all night. His heart fluttered excitedly at the prospect. A huge part of him said not to do it, that it'll end in disaster; but a small voice in the back of his head deferred calling out: Do it! Fortune favors the bold, kiss her! As Lyra played to the other side of the ring of patrons, he stepped into the circle and approached her, his anticipation growing with every step.

"In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity

To be soon deprived a view of that fine city.

So then I took a stroll, all among the quality;

Me bundle it was stole, all in-"

Tannor shut his eyes and made his move. He quickly kissed Lyra right on her cheek as she was turning back around. Immediately, the crowd hushed itself as the band froze. Slowly he realized he'd done something unprecedented when the resounding silence hit his ears. He opened his eyes to see a scarlet-faced Lyra standing before him with her ears pined back. He shut them again and braced for the heavy slap he was sure would come his way. Come on, he thought, I'm sorry I did it, I should've known it wasn't tradition, just do it and get it over with.

Cooper's blood chilled at the sudden silence. He didn't even need to see it, he knew Tannor had gone trhough with the kiss. He pushed his way through the crowd and found himself behind Lyra, facing Tannor. The poor colt had his eyes screwed shut in preperation for the coming blow. Cooper tried to look away, but the scene was like an approaching train wreck. He knew the result would be a disaster he couldn't bear to watch, but at the same time he couldn't look away. He waited, and waited, then it happend.

But instead of the resounding crack of a hoof crossing a cheek, there was a soft smack as Lyra leaned in and returned the favor. At once, every jaw in the room dropped. Tannor tore his eyes open and still found a scarlet Lyra, although she was wearying a coy smile instead of a wrathful scorn. Is was Tannor's turn to become crimson as he realized just what had happened. He became yet bolder and began to escort his new marefriend out of the tavern and into the cool night, but not before grabbing one more bottle of cider on the way out.

As they departed into the evening, a lone indignant voice in the back of the room called out: "Where did that come from?!"

Author's Note

Sláinte: Pronounced "slaan-sha" this literally translates as "health". Used as a quick toast in Ireland, Scottland and the Isle of Man.