“Who’s up first, Barb?” Dusk asked after having picked himself up off the floor and handed the scroll back to her. Barb took it and opened it ever so slightly to reveal the first thing on the agenda.

“Food. Looks like that’s being handled by somepony named… Applejack.” she replied, closing the scroll again. Dusk sighed and tried to quietly vent his anger through breathing techniques. He was interrupted by a high pitched gasp. His eyes shot open just in time to see a shocked pink pony somehow hanging in the air before she shot off like a racer to Celestia knew where.

“This is going to be a long, long day.” Dusk said as he shook himself off. Barb followed suit and coughed a little in the process.

“Just don’t stress, alright? I don’t wanna be cleaning scorch marks off your body like last time.” she said. Dusk shuffled around in his clothes, going so far as to fix the collar on his shirt.

“You said Applejack?” he asked, changing the subject as he walked forward.

“Yes. And it’s that way.” she replied, pointing north. Dusk sighed and followed Barb’s directions.

The Orchard of the Apple family was… colourful to say the least. Dusk just knew this Applejack was going to be the happy-go-lucky type, with some probable sense of dignity. He was half right. Upon reaching the first pony he saw there, he tried to introduce himself.

“Hello, I’m–.”

“Well, howdy there partner! Name’s Applejack, proud member of the Apple family which has taken pride in selling the finest apples in Equestria.” she took Dusk’s hand and began shaking it faster than he could follow. The blood began to get forced back into a more motionless part of his arm, leaving his hand and forearm stinging from the vibrations. When she let him go, he fell to his knees with the same arm between his legs, trying to rub the veins to force blood into the sore appendage.

“Dusk… Shine. Oh buck! I came here from Canterlot to check up on the festival’s progress.” he managed to say as he smacked his dead arm against the nearest surface he could find. Unfortunately, it bounced back and slapped Barb in the face. It hurt Dusk more than it did Barb who gave him a dirty look. For the first time since arriving, Dusk smiled, but sheepishly.

“Well y’all don’t need to worry none. The whole family’s managed to come here for the celebration and they’ve gone and made their signature dishes. Why don’t y’all try some?” she offered. Before Dusk could decline, Applejack began ringing a dumbbell repeatedly.

“Soups on Everypony! Yee-haw!!!” she cried out. Dusk almost wished it was one of Barb’s insane notions of an undead stampede that had knocked him over and carried him along the wave of bodies, but sadly, it was the family. They very ceremoniously moved him to a wooden seat which sat by a table. They then began to place one of each kind of apple related baked goods on the table.

“Mr. Dusk, Allow me to introduce y’all to my family; Apple Cobbler, Apple Strudel, Carmel Apples, Apple Pie, Apple Cider, Apple Salad, Cousin Braeburn Apples, Apple Juice, Aunt & Uncle Orange, along with Squeezed Oranges, Orange Crush, and my side of the family: little Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and finally, Granny Smith.” Applejack gestured over to a sleeping elder. “Come on Granny Smith, we got company!” Granny Smith awoke from her nap to join the festivities. “Ah think they like you.” said Applejack. “I’d even say that y’all are already part of the family!” Dusk almost choked on his own saliva at the mere thought.

“Uh… I really don’t think–.”

“Too late Dusk, when the Apple family likes somepony, you’re as good as family.” Applejack interrupted. Dusk wasn’t sure what to say.

“Barb… help?” he asked.

“Are you kidding? I wanna eat before you go pissing everypony off. This stuff looks fit for the Princess.” she whispered. Dusk shuddered at the thought of having to eat so much food presented to him.

“Well it seems like you’ve got the food sorted out, so I’ll not trouble you any further and I’ll just head back to town to make sure everypony else is doing as splendid a job as y’all *ahem* you all are.” Dusk began to shift out of his seat nervously, smiling as sweetly as he could, but he was interrupted by the aptly named Applebloom.

“You’re not gunna stay for Brunch?” she asked, sounding like Dusk had just killed her puppy. Dusk had an incredible amount of difficulty trying to break free of the sad stare the little filly was giving him. He wanted to decline, but the stare had kept his throat locked and he refused to even breathe.

“Barb!” Dusk managed to squeak from between his lips. Barb heard him and did what she thought was save him.

“We’d love to stay!” she declared. Dusk gasped as he heard the reply. Fortunately, that gasp coincided with the gasps of joy from the Apple Family.

“Alright then! Dusk Shine, y’all are never gunna wanna eat anything else again after this.” Applejack declared in return. Dusk put on his best happy face and laughed with Applejack.

“HA I don’t doubt it. HA HA HA HA HA HA. You’re fired.” he turned to Barb at the end.

“I’m Union.” she replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

Dusk waddled along the road, hearing the sounds of the ocean in his gut. Every step he took hurt as he felt his belly button was going to burst open like a cork on a champagne bottle.

“How can one dragon eat more than me and not feel like I do? You’re like the black hole of Coltcutta.” he groaned. Barb just giggled at him.

“I’ve a fast metabolism, Dusk. Not to mention working for you is like community service for criminals.” she replied. Dusk tried to add up the two reasons in his head and factor in consumption rates, and it made sense to him.

“Whatever… what’s next on the list?” he asked, falling to the ground on his back. Barb looked at the roster and cleared her throat.

“Looks like weather control. And that’s supposed to be handled by Rainbow Dash… What do you think, gay colt or mare?” Barb asked. Dusk awarded a huff of amusement.

“Has to be a Mare… No gay Stallion would leave clouds in the sky when it should be clear throughout.” he replied. A sudden call from above alerted them to a presence.

“Look out!” the voice called out. Dusk lifted himself up into a sitting position, only to be knocked back down by a blue mass colliding with him. For a moment he thought the sky had begun to fall. Then with wide eyes, he noticed a rainbow tail sprawled along his face. With great difficulty, he rolled the mare off of him and turned onto his side.

“Gonna whiz red.” he groaned, clutching his groin.

The rainbow mare picked herself up and noticed the two newbies acting strangely together.

“Hey, sorry man. I tried to warn you. Name’s Rainbow Dash, and I’m the fastest Flyer in Equestria. And that’s not bragging, it’s fact… mixed with bragging… and awesomeness. And who are you?” Dash waited for Dusk to pick himself up with wobbly legs.

“Dusk… Shine. Oh buck! I came here from Canterlot to check up on the festival’s progress.” he said, repeating the same thing he’d said to Applejack… exactly everything.

“YOU’RE from CANTERLOT?! That means you must know the Wonderbolts!” Dash piped up excitedly.

“Well, they know Dusk.” Barb muttered, remembering a bad experience that involved said Stallion giving Spitfire advice on life, including quitting her day job in exchange for cooking and foal-bearing. Barb could tell he remembered that time also.

“I… may have met them once… never heard from them again though.” he replied. Dash burst with excitement.

“Ohmygosh! This is awesome! I’m talking to somepony who’s actually met the Wonderbolts! I’m gonna join them one day, you know. I’ll catch their eye as I demonstrate my awesome skills. I’ll show them that I’m fast, agile, flexible and–.”

“Lazy?” Dusk interrupted. Dash froze in place and slowly turned her head around as if bearing her gaze down upon an enemy.

“Come again?” she deadpanned.

“You’re supposed to have cleared the skies in preparation for the festival.” he scolded the mare.

“That sky is as good as clear.” Dash said with a passive attitude. Dusk clenched his fists, trying hard not to yell at the mare.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have missed it under all those clouds.” he said sarcastically. Dash got in his face and revealed a confident smile.

“I can clear that sky in ten seconds flat!” she declared. Dusk crossed his arms and pointed up to the sky.

“The proof is in the pudding… scratch that, no food references.” he said as he felt his stomach groaning in protest to the mere mention of pudding.

“You want me to prove it?” dash challenged. Dusk nodded, covering his mouth. In an instant, Dash shot up into the sky and began clearing the sky over Ponyville. After what felt like ten seconds, Dash landed in the same spot she’d taken off. Dusk had watched her with Barb. Only the dragon was slack jawed at the display.

“What’d I tell you? Ten. Seconds. Flat!” she said, ruffling Dusk’s mane. Barb suddenly got diarrhoea of the mouth.

“That was so cool, it was awesome, it was beyond comprehension, it was… it was–.”

“Eleven seconds.” Dusk interrupted. Both the mare and dragoness looked at him at once and cried out in unison.

“WHAT?!” Dusk rolled up his sleeve to reveal a watch with the time paused at 11.5 seconds.

“Eleven and a half to be exact. Anyway… Now I’ve goaded you into doing your job, I can move on faster to a more important matter. Barb, who’s next please?” Barb just stared at him, frozen. With time being wasted, Dusk growled, cracking his knuckles. The scroll floated over to him and opened in front of him.

“Decorations… Rarity. Sounds like a joy.”

Author's Note

Okay, so Sky Bound has given us a new Picture. This is how you should view Dusk and Barb.

What do you think? If you're lucky and really really beg him, he might do Gleaming Shield and the others, providing I give him the details on their clothing I suspect. So start grovelling at his hooves, my friends.