Iron Will vs. The Penile Code

Chapters

In Media Res
Up to Code
Easy to be hard
The Taming of the Screwed
Diamonds and Rust
That's why we turn out the red light
Turnabout Porn, Part One
Turnabout Porn, Part Two
Epilogue: Director's Cut- Additional Scene
Epilogue: Just another day in paradise

In Media Res

“P-please... please let me pass...” Three figures stood on a secluded road in the wilds of Equestria. One was a beautiful white unicorn with a perfectly-coiffed, curled purple mane. The base of her horn was adorned with a beautiful gold wedding ring. On her flank were three blue diamonds. Her belly was swollen, heavy with the child she carried. The other two figures were gruff and imposing Diamond Dogs, both dark gray in color. One was the middle-sized sort with high, perked ears, while the one just behind him was a big, wall-like Dig Dog sort. Both were bare of all covering, save for collars adorned with a single glowing gem, and what appeared to be very large drawstring gem pouches drawn shut over their genitals and attached to thong-like garments. Rarity whimpered again, and cringed back from the Dogs. “Please let me go home,” The mare said, shaking with fear, “M-my husband is waiting...”

The big Dig Dog laughed oafishly, pointing one thick finger at the cringing unicorn. “Heh heh. She just wants to get home, Butch.” The dog said in a dopey, deep voice.

“Yes, Rex,” Butch said, “A simple request. We'll let her go, once we've searched her for gems.” Butch's voice was strong and pleasant, with a hidden, perhaps cruel, mirth to it.

Both Dogs were upon Rarity in an instant. Large, strong paws groped her entire body. They dug into her mane and tail, rubbing thumbs and fingers over the hair, from root to tips. After defiling the properly styled coif they moved to lewdly groping her pristine pony flesh, squeezing over her legs, chest and flanks while laughing derisively. They ended exactly where they should not had been, grasping hands feeling over her milk-engorged teats, her tender vulva and the large, firm swell of her pregnant belly. “N-no! Don't! Don't grab me there! Keep your f-filthy Dog hands away from my foal...”

“Quiet, pony dam,” Butch growled, “I would be able to smell your arousal without a keen Dog nose. A child filling your belly isn't enough for a slutty bitch like you. Your body cries out to be filled with our thick doggy dicks. Come here...” Butch grabbed Rarity's mane and pulled her to his face. His lips were on hers with a hungry eagerness, forcing a devouring kiss onto her. Her trembling lips were easily parted by his thick, powerful tongue, the wiggling pink muscle jamming down to her throat, to emphasize both size and power. He could not be stopped. After the first shove he leg his tongue swirl, slowly, around the inside of that warm mouth. He explored every inch of her oral cavity as his tongue licked and probed each nook and cranny, like some spittle-soaked spelunker.

Drool flowed freely from the joined mouths, much of it being forced into Rarity's unwilling maw, though a good amount splattered onto her chest. She pushed feebly at the imposing Dog, eyes wide with fear and head shaking as much as possible. She made little, helpless noises, whimpering out protests that were swallowed by the Dog forcing her to take his tongue. As she lay there, helpless, she could feel the burning heat of Butch's groin as he pressed it against her pregnant belly.

Rarity's first free vocalization came a minute later as Butch detached his mouth. When he pulled back to yank his tongue out, Rarity's mouth opened wide as she gasped for breath. She panted for a short moment, trembling hoof coming up to wipe the runnels of drool form her chin. “No more... please no more...” Rarity said, breathlessly, “Oh Celestia save me...”

“Your pretty pony princess cannot help you now,” Butch said, sinisterly, “You should worship us instead.”

Rex was not as gentle as Butch had been. His tongue was much larger, and he proved it by first letting it lightly slap across one cheek, then the other, finally slurping wetly over her lips and forcing his way into her mouth. The drool flowed freely into her mouth and down over her chin, Rex pulling her forward harder than Butch had, the slobber falling heavily onto her taut belly like warm rain. He satisfied himself faster than his partner had, dragging his tongue out after only a few internal licks and lapping over her horn, forcing a shiver from her already-trembling form.

Seeing the gold wedding band around the base of her horn, Rex slowly began to run a clawed finger around the ring. “Your husband should be here...” Rex grunted, as his huge paw rubbed more sloppy drool over Rarity's pregnant stomach.

“Yes, he should see what real males look like,” Butch said, with a harsh laugh, “I'm surprised some needle-dicked pony could put anything in your belly,” He casually reached down and untied the strings on the pouch, opening the mouth and pulling on the cloth. It took a bit of wiggling but he was finally rewarded with the drop of a heavy sac in the same tone as his fur, though it was conspicuously devoid of fur. Another smooth pull showed off a hanging, fat phallus, showing a foreskin hanging over the tip. It was already starting to firm.

“Heh heh... yea. Too bad we're too late to put something in her...” Rex used one paw to molest Rarity's backside, occasionally grinding one large finger against the dewy lips of her vulva. His free paw loosened his own gem pouch and pulled it off. As befitted a larger Dog he was more well-endowed than his compatriot. They were of the same style however, and were even further along the path to firmness.

“No...” Rarity feebly protested, attempting to move away from the gasping paws and powerful bodies. It was an impossible task, however, given the large size of her attackers and the eagerness with which they were grabbing her. In a last-ditch effort to protect her fidelity to her husband she reached back and covered her sex with a hoof. “No Dogs allowed! Stay out!” Rarity cried as her assailants pawed at her vagina, “That's one tunnel you filthy, disgusting, curs will never enter! Ponies only!” Butch looked up to Rex, a sneering smile on both of their faces.

“Really?” Butch growled, with a mocking wink. He pointed at Rarity, before flipping her the bird. His middle finger wiggled as he made a couple short thrusts into the air.

Rex nodded and rushed at Rarity, dodging around and standing behind her. His huge arms reached down and scooped her up, hooking his arms underneath her forelegs to both draw her hoof away from her passage and to draw her back against his chest and belly.

Though she shrieked and struggled hard, her hind legs kicking, she could not do anything to stop her lewd exposure. Her belly bulged with a beautiful fecundity, enhancing the lewdness of her position, which was also emphasized by the milky swells of her teats and her heated vulva. The entrance to her moist tunnel was sliding along Rex's raging erection.

“Still not going to let Dogs in?” Rex said, “Pony should be generous and share her treasure.”

Rex shifted position, leaning forward while he drew his hips back, firmly grinding the veiny flesh of his pole over Rarity's lower lips and against her engorged and unhooded clit, drawing out an agonized, ragged scream that tried desperately to hide the bliss she was feeling from the forced stimulation. He teased his glans over the engorged little button a few times before he drew back his hips that one last inch and rested his head against the parted lips.

“No! No! No! NO!” Rarity screamed. Her protests were in vain, for with one great thrust Rex slammed the majority of his dick up into Rarity's trembling passage. His body pulled up straight while he howled triumphantly. He displayed her like a trophy, impaled on his shaft, as his thrusting hips and bouncing body making her teats wobble and shake. “You wicked Dog!” She cried, “Stop! It hurts! Pull it out!”

Butch laughed uproariously at that sight, leaning in close to watch the fat Dog dick thrusting into Rarity's juicy meat flaps. He reached out and pinched both of Rarity's nipples, pulling on the full swells and lapping at the air as small squirts of milk arced out each time Rex thrust up and caused Rarity's body to jerk.

“Rex, is there room for another Dog inside her cock kennel?” Butch pulled on the nipples sharply, drawing out more milk that he lapped out of the air.

“Vile curs!” Rarity shrieked, head resting back on Rex's chest, her legs kicking all the more though they were still spread wide by Butch's arms reaching in for her nipples. “You're already tearing me apart!” Rarity said, “If you don't stop now, you'll kill me and my foal!”

“We would never kill you or your foal!” Butch cried, almost looking offended by the suggestion. He released Rarity's nipples and gently patted the pregnant belly bouncing before him. “We want you to go home to your husband nice and safe... full of canine cock cream,” Butch said with a hearty laugh. He strode forward with an easy swagger of his hips, which made his precum-leaking erection bounce before him. Rex's legs dropped slowly, lowering Rarity down to the level of Butch's crotch. Butch took his rod in one hand, slowly leading it down and pressing against the well-stuffed pussy, his other hand trying to spread the lips wider and work a finger in.

“You cannot be serious!” Rarity said, as her eyes crossed from the unwanted stimulation, “Th-this is just proof what filthy, dirty, disgusting perverts you are! Stop! No, you cannot, my foal, my fo-AHH!” Rarity's protests turned into a sharp, high scream that visibly made both Dogs wince, but that did not stop Butch from continuing.

“If your dirty cunt can birth a foal,” Butch said, “Then it can surely take our dicks!”

He had worked in the crown of his cock, and after the screaming had stopped hurting his ears he thrust his hips with all his strength, to get in just as deep as Rex.

For the first time, the two dogs looked slightly uncomfortable. It wasn't because they were raping a pregnant mare. No, they were both uneasy because of the homoerotic undertones of having one's penis rubbing against another male's dick. The fact that a vagina was pressing the Diamond Dogs' cocks together helped assuage some of their 'gay guilt.'

Though the fit was tight the only response was pitiful whines from Rarity and the futile kicking of all four legs.

After the swift and merciless insertions the two Dogs actually settled into a slow and cool pattern of thrusting and resting. They would drive in and pull out simultaneously several times, making sure to bounce Rarity solidly. Then after a rest they would alternate, Rex plunging in so deep there was almost some concern his long organ would reach into Rarity's womb, but he would pull back before that point, letting Butch thrust in just as deep, a few more pistonings following before they stopped again. Every so often one or both of them would press and flick over Rarity's clit, laughing as they forced her to let out moans of pleasure that she did not want.

After a long period of slow and careful fucking that stretched out the pleasure they were taking from Rarity's tight and unwilling body, not to mention the perverse delight they got in forcing her to feel pleasure from their actions, both Dogs were panting heavily. Their tongues flopped out of their mouth and dripped drool. Rex had Rarity held tight to his chest, his saliva splattering on her face despite the shaking of her head. Butch was resting his head on Rarity's pregnant stomach, his tongue licked the sweaty surface of her swollen belly. Rex woofed out a sound of imminent release. “Ugh! Gonna unload,” Rex growled in his deep and dopey voice.

“Let's backfill this tunnel right. Come on, synch up,” Butch said, hips starting to work a little harder, drilling Rarity's well-used lust-tube, getting into a perfect rhythm with Rex. The two dogs grunted and groaned out as they pumped into Rarity, the mare squealing and screaming anew as her gaping rape drapes were punished with speed and energy. “Here comes the puppy paste!” Butch cried.

“No! No! No Dog slime in me!” Rarity shrieked, struggling and pulling at the strong arms and hands holding her in place. Nothing she did was effective, however. She was forced to feel the Dog dicks tremble then rhythmically twitch up their huge lengths. A hot flood of thick, sticky cum splattered all over her insides when the twitches reached the top. Both slid slowly out; releasing a blast of jizz with each twitch, until they were finally removed. A final squirt of semen squirted from each cock, providing a warming cap over her clit and eliciting a last, defeated moan from her mouth.

The two rapists lowered her to the ground onto her back, grunting softly. They slid their garments off, dropping the pouch portions directly onto Rarity's face before they lumbered off. She remained on her back, one hoof slowly pushing the pouches off of her snout as the spicy Dog musk filled her senses. Her other hoof rubbed gently at the pregnant swell of her belly, as though ensuring her child was still safe. Her legs were still spread out wide, as though they were unable to close. Her vulva was trembling, the mingled Dog cum peeking slightly out of the gaping passage, so thick it almost looked like a pearl. A slight twitch of her muscles caused a good portion of the semen to squirt out in a long line. The camera zoomed in on Rarity's sticky cunt as the jizz from her cream pie splattered thickly onto the ground.

“Cut! Print it! Excellent work everyone. That will be a wrap,” Hoity-Toity called, clopping his forehooves together to set all the various stage workers to their work.

“Oh goodness, what a scene,” Rarity said grandly, laying out on the ground and looking significantly more comfortable with the cameras off. “But what dialogue! Such a ludicrous lie. 'Ponies only' indeed. 'Diamond Dogs only' and most stringently enforced.” She sniffed at one of the pouches that had dropped on her face and giggled. “Body wash and detergent, so little personal scent but the concern is so appreciated.”

“Here...” Butch was at her side, carefully lifting her by one leg. Rex was on the other side lifting on the other side. Between the two Rarity was up and over, brought back to all fours. Butch came down and kissed her cheek. “That was a good one.”

“Very good,” Rex agreed, his voice still deep but much more intelligent. “I hope I wasn't too rough.”

“Impossible, darling. A lady is always tough when it counts. Sweet, demure and proper, of course, but strong when she must be. And I know well that you big, sweet Dogs would never harm me,” Rarity said, coming up to kiss Rex on the cheek, leaving the big Dog blushing.

Butch reached under Rarity and softly patted her belly. “And how is your pup doing?”

Rarity touched her own swell and smiled, with a little sparkle in her eye, “My puppy is absolutely perfect. I've enjoyed carrying her to term so much, that it will actually be a sad day when she's born. For now, every day is 'Take your child to work day' and any good mother would relish that chance.” She looked up to one of the clocks in the studio while trotting off of the 'outdoor road' set. “Come along then, you must be famished after a performance like that. Let's go to lunch, my treat.”

Rex shook his head and waved a hand. “Oh no, we couldn't ask you for that.”

“You're already too kind, choosing us for the role. You're always so generous...” Butch said with a wistful look.

Rarity scoffed softly and tossed her slightly-mussed mane. “I will not hear another objection! Besides... you 'fed' me so very well it would be quite rude of me not to return the favor.”

“If you insist,” Butch said. He and Rex both put hands on Rarity's shoulders and walked happily of with her. As the happy trio left the set, they were watched by a couple of colleagues.

“Huh, you were right...” Iron Will said. He and Fluttershy were both sitting on low chairs off to the side, and had been watching the filming. “She really does love them.”

“I know it seems odd. All you ever saw were her movies, but I told you she was really happy with them,” Fluttershy said, nuzzling at Iron Will's side.

“So what was that called? Another pun-based title?” Iron Will asked.

“Actually, they wanted a title that would appeal to the intellectual crowd,” Fluttershy said, “So they called it 'In Media Res.' Pretty highbrow, wouldn't you agree?”

“Oh, definitely,” Iron Will said, sheepishly. “So, uh, what does it mean?” Fluttershy giggled, which caused Iron Will to blush.

“The title simply means that the story starts in the middle,” Fluttershy said, “Even though Rarity's still doing the same thing as her other movies, at least now she can say she starred in something fancy and pretentious, like 'In Media Res,' as opposed to her previous film, 'Diamond Dog Cumslut 4.'”

“Makes as much sense as any other name I've seen,” Iron Will said, thinking back on some of his own previous movies. “I really did love, 'Bull Market'. It had a lot of class.”

“'Oh no, Mister Bigbull, don't call my margins! I'll be ruined! I'll do anything you want...'” Fluttershy said, affecting a whimpering tone and cowering slightly, as she recited lines from the film.

“'Oh, you're still going to be ruined,'” Iron Will said, with a furrow of his brow and a slight chuckle in his voice, “'But I don't need to call your margins, just break your bank.'” Iron Will let out a hearty laugh and smacked his knee softly.

“You really put the 'firm' in investment firm,” Fluttershy said, leaning her head against Iron Will's side. “That was a fun project.” After everypony else had cleared the set, Iron Will and Fluttershy sat for a minute in silence. “Need to go to our dressing room after watching that? I don't mind...” The yellow pegasus asked, somewhat suggestively.

“No need, babe. I'm not that charged up over it. Diamond Dogs don't do that much for me and I'm still not that big a fan of pony porn either,” Iron Will said, slowly stroking Fluttershy's mane.

“Oh...” Fluttershy said, her face falling a little and her body curling up a little bit.

Iron Will's large hands pulled Fluttershy into a tight, warm hug, the big bull smiling down at her. “But I really do love you, and all you can do,” He said, pulling her up for a warm kiss.

Fluttershy blushed hotly as their lips gently wrestled, and their tongues flicked just a bit. She pulled back when the kiss broke, a tiny string of saliva tenuously connecting their lips before it snapped. “O-oh my...” Flutterhy stammered. “I know you've told me so but... I feel so special.”

“You are special,” Iron Will said, lightly petting at Fluttershy's folded wings. “You helped me make it. I'm a star here and it's because of the movies we made. I'm still really proud of that fact. And not just that, they took all those old sayings I used on the speaking circuit and put them up in the hallways! It feels even more like an office around here.”

“This is an office. Mister Toity is very serious and professional. So is Miss Finish. The only difference is they encourage office romance. I think,” Fluttershy said with a gentle hum, her wings fluttering lightly as they were stroked. “I don't get much romance from anyone but you. They seem to encourage it.”

“Yea, you get a lot of something from the other guys, but it ain't romance,” Iron Will chuckled, with a slight scowl. “But that's not important. I think we should go get some lunch. It takes a lot to keep this body going,” Iron Will said, flexing his great biceps and popping his pecs.

Fluttershy hid a giggle behind her hoof and wriggled out of Iron Will's grip. “Salad and soda? My treat.”

“Sounds good to me,” Iron Will said, standing up with a huge stretch and a shake of his limbs.

The pair strolled through the back corridors of the studio. The building was honeycombed with passages because of the large number of rooms it required for a porn studio. Though labyrinthine, neither performer had any trouble working their way to the familiar commissary. Thanks to Hoity-Toity's mantra of 'Only the Best' it really wasn't a bad place. The food was prepared in a tucked away kitchen by an often-screaming but incredibly talented griffin chef, and was always of the highest quality, the dishes in both vegetarian and non-vegetarian versions. The food was still served up cafeteria style, with trays and all, but all the actors and technical folks agreed the quality of the food more than made up for the blasé setting.

In honor of Iron Will's fame and high standing at the studio the cafeteria always had Greek salad with fresh olives, both green and black, and homemade feta cheese. As a bonus for him the milk usually came from the wife of one of his former goat assistants, which partially replaced the income they lost after they had been fired. That salad was a very frequent shared meal for Iron Will and Fluttershy, along with an anise-flavored soda imported especially for him, which was about as close to ouzo as he could get at work.

“So, did you put any money in the pool?” Iron Will asked Fluttershy, picking up an olive and some lettuce from the communal salad bowl with a fork while pointing to another table where Rarity was laughing and gently jostling with Rex and Butch.

“Of course,” Fluttershy said, using provided tongs to take out a little of the salad for herself. “Eight pounds, boy, seven o'clock in the evening.”

“I went with ten pounds, boy, four in the morning. My aunts always used to tell me babies loved to come when it was most inconvenient,” Iron Will said with a laugh.

“She also invited me to the baby shower. Sorry, ladies only. You probably wouldn't have had much fun. It'll just be a lot of talking about her puppy and presents, maybe some cake,” Fluttershy said.

"It's just as well," Iron Will said, "I'd have no idea what to bring as a baby shower gift for a puppy. Do you bring diapers or old newspapers?"

Fluttershy leaned back in her chair and shyly picked at her salad. “You know... there's really been a lot of baby talk going on lately. Umm, I know we talked about it once...”

“Oh, yea,” Iron Will said with a sigh, slumping down in his seat. “Look... I understand. But... that's a really big thing. And it takes a lot of thinking. A lot more than I've ever really done about anything. I need some more time with it.”

“Oh... a-alright. We can get to it later,” Fluttershy muttered, hiding behind her mane. Her mane had grown out since her turn as Daring Screw, once again becoming a pink curtain to hide her from the world when she needed it.

The two continued their meal in a kind of timid, uncertain silence, heavy with meaning. The thick tension was finally broken by an irate shout from just outside the commissary.

“This is disgusting! Horrifying! Sick and tasteless! A gross perversion!” Hoity-Toity shouted. He was not normally given to such histrionics, making the screaming quite a departure.

Iron Will looked down at Fluttershy and shrugged his huge shoulders. “Must be a new script,” He said with a laugh, taking a sip of his anise soda.

“Absolutely ludicrous! Inconceivable!” Hoity said as he entered the room with a huff, visibly fuming and lightly shaking a piece of paper in one hoof. Beside him, as ever, was Photo Finish. The well-dressed agent was attempting to calm Hoity down with her touch, though her voice was hard as ever.

“Ach! Do not shout! You will upshet the talent before there ish cause!” Photo said, looking around at the population of the commissary, who had all turned to gaze on the two. “Make certain there ish a true crisish before you trouble your workers. They are fragile little egosh bound up with the shtability of their little livesh. Shpare them sho they may be creative until the time ish right for Bestürzung. Then it will follow proper proceduresh. All musht be proper,” Photo noted with a sniff and firm stance.

“That may be well and good for you to say, Miss Finish,” Hoity noted with a cold tone, turning his sunglasses-covered eyes on Photo, “You may still be capable of finding legitimate uses for your capabilities should this all fall apart. But I find in these days that I have burned too many bridges on the road to this position.”

“I have burned my bridgesh with yoursh, Herr Toity. Never forget what I have sacrificed to thish dream. Do I represhent Fleur de Lis or Platinum Shine any longer? Nein! May I walk, untainted, through the partiesh of the noble und wealthy? Nein. My reputation followsh me with every trot. We share... much. Never forget that, Herr Toity.”

Hoity gave a small grunt of agreement and turned his gaze away, “As you say, Miss Finish. But the fact remains the same however we may wish to ignore it. Troubles are not far off if we are being informed correctly.” Hoity waved the paper at Photo again and shook his head.

“What do we do in the interim?” Photo asked, attempting to be quiet once again, and looking out over the odd stares the two had garnered.

“Status quo, as ever, though now with the Sword of Damocles swaying over both of our heads,” Hoity said, tucking the paper into his breast pocket.

“We are fortunate that horsehair ish shtrong...” Photo said with a sidelong glance.

Hoity and Photo both smoothly moved into the cafeteria line to get their food, offering no comment or explanation for what had just happened. Though the mystery surrounded everyone and all were terribly curious no one went to question them about the odd happening.

Iron Will finally rose, with some slight objection from Fluttershy, and strolled over to Hoity and Photo's table. “Uhh... I know it's not really any of my business, Mister Toity sir...” Iron Will said. He looked to Fluttershy, who was slowly shaking her head, but he continued anyhow, “But it sounds like there might be something bothering you.”

“I told you to be quiet!” Photo hissed, leaning in towards Hoity. “Now the talent have been shpooked und we musht keep them from blind panic.”

“Calm down. I will handle this with proper aplomb,” Hoity whispered across to Photo before turning his covered gaze to Iron Will. “There is no cause for concern, Mister William. There have merely been... movements in the Canterlot contingent as far as the statutes which apply to our business. Nothing concrete has emerged, and nothing needs to be done. Concern at this stage would be premature.”

“Ja,” Photo Finish said, “The lasht thing a porn shtudio needs is premature exacerbation.”

Iron Will tilted his head and scratched at the back of his neck in confusion. “I, uh, guess that it might be something serious in the future, maybe?”

“I very much doubt it. Lawmakers have been very placid and liberal of late. They have not imposed any rash or overly damaging codes in recent memory. We negotiated our practices, follow all the rules, have you lot provide urine or blood samples as needed and keep the books open for inspection. I can assure you, everything is well,” Hoity said, taking out the paper again and giving it another read. “Huh, I never noticed this part of the letter. Our troubles may be over even sooner than I thought. The matter is being passed to higher authorities to be assessed. Excellent. Restraint of trade is a serious thing. It is doubtful anything will be decided to harm us.”

“Sehr gut. The problem ish no more und now we may eat in peace,” Photo said with a firm shake of her head. With that she tucked into her bowl of penne and alfredo, munching away without concern for others.

“Sorry for being a bother, boss,” Iron Will said, with a sheepish grin and blush.

“Your concern is admirable, Mister William. Your job is important to you and that sends you over to investigate any endangering of it. But do not be concerned. This will pass. You may return to your charming co-worker and finish your meal in peace,” Hoity said with a slight wave of his hoof, turning back to his own bowl of penne.

Iron Will lumbered back to his own table, sitting down slowly. “Was there something wrong?” Fluttershy asked, looking up just past the curtain of her hair.

“Mister Toity was a little upset about some kind of letter he got. Something government-related. But he also said they weren't interested in messing with the business so we shouldn't worry,” Iron Will said.

Fluttershy rose up in her seat with a tiny smile on her face. “Oh good! I'd hate to think of anything bothering poor Mister Toity or Miss Finish. Especially governmental things. But if he says it's alright, then it's fine.”

“Everything is far from fine,” Hoity said. It was few weeks later and he sat behind his desk with another government letter spread before him. He was holding his head in his hooves and shaking it lightly. “Ludicrous. Absolutely mad. That stuffy, officious little obstructionist bureaucrat... she certainly has been busy up on the mountain, licking ass and kissing boots...”

“I think you have been in this indushtry too long if you phrashe it sho,” Photo noted, dryly, looking over Hoity's shoulder at the offending letter. “But you may be correct if thish letter ish to be believed. They say politics is the second-oldest profession, ja?" Photo Finish said.

"Right," Hoity Toity said, "And Neigh-gan once said that the second-oldest profession often bears a striking resemblance to the first. I think our foe has been whoring herself out politically for years in order to curry enough favors to make this abomination possible,” Hoity said with a groan. He slammed his hoof down on the letter and threw it across the desk. “She has long been a thorn in my side but always from an academic angle. Towards the end of my legitimate design career and into my foray into pornographic photography I had such moral crusaders and guardians of the innocent at my door bothering me with trivialities and inanity. But none so tenacious and potentially destructive as this unrelenting busybody. I know her reputation. I had thought they had learned their lesson. But no, they continue to give her the power to be bothersome. Now I see... we must prepare the staff.”

“Follow the letter of the letter und not a bit more. Take it as it says. Let ush impressh thish little functionary und keep our shtudio running ash it hash been. We may yet emerge from thish... what does she call it?” Photo asked, moving to the letter to read through it.

Hoity clopped his hooves together before his face, sunglasses hiding all the emotions as he leaned back in some posture of weakened defeat. “'The Penile Code and ancillary regulations,' which would require all adult film actors to wear condoms.”

Up to Code

“... As you can see, Miss Sparkle, this is a very clean and orderly facility,” Hoity-Toity said with a proud sniff and a winning smile. He was leading a small group through the halls of the studio. Photo Finish was by his side. Together they represented the studio, while the other three were the government representatives who were intent on stifling the porn industry. Twilight Sparkle looked the part of a government shill. She was dressed in a severe light brown business suit with a long skirt, her hair pulled up into a tight bun while a set of librarian glasses rested on her face. Beside her, taking notes, was Spike the miniature dragon, wearing a suit coat, slacks and a fedora. Behind both, examining everything for potential threats, was Rainbow Dash. She looked the part of a government spook to a T, from her sharp black suit to her dark black sunglasses and even the earwig trailing unobtrusively from her right ear.

“Yes. Yes, so you say. Spike, please remember to take down Mister Toity's exact statements. We want to make sure there are no contradictions,” Twilight said aside to her assistant. “His occupation isn't known for attracting trustworthy characters.”

“You got it! 'Clean... and... orderly...'” Spike repeated, scratching out the note quickly. “So will we get to witness any actual filming? Uhh, just for... you know, research purposes. I need to take accurate notes, so seeing it live might help”

“Well, Spike! I appreciate and applaud your enthusiasm. That's why you're my number one assistant. I concur with Spike's assessment. All of this is window dressing. The real test is if you can act in compliance with the law as it will be generally imposed. It may be working slowly through the legislature but there are no significant challenges to the bill. When it passes, you will be expected to comply immediately. Now show me an active scene.”

“And make it with two hot girls totally lezzing out,” Spike said, with a lick of his lips. When Twilight turned her gaze on him he quickly added, “For the sake of seeing how they handle a more difficult compliance situation.”

“Good thinking, Spike. He's exactly right. Though phrased in a very... curious fashion, he is correct. I figured you would never implement compliance across the board in the proper fashion. So show us an active production involving two females. And make it extremely sloppy,” Twilight said, adjusting her glasses matter-of-factually.

Neither Hoity nor Photo responded to that comment for a moment, simply looking at each other incredulously. Eventually Hoity opened a door near them and motioned them all in. “Of course, of course. We'll have a rehearsal.”

The room was a fairly bland and ordinary. It was not too large but sufficed to hold all the equipment and the stage, which was set up as a generic room filled with pillows. The floors of the main studio were just smooth concrete with strategically placed grip tape, while the walls were egg-carton-like blocks of soundproofing. Though wires snaked all over none of it posed a safety hazard, as they were properly taped down and noted by signs. Twilight dragged her eyes across the scene and snorted a bit. “Impressive, Mister Toity. I imagine your workers toiled all night to ensure this studio would pass inspection, and you got us into this particular one. You must be excellent at chess.”

“I am, but that is beside the point,” Hoity said. There was something oddly complimentary about being praised for perpetrating some kind of evil scheme. “As I told you, we keep everything up to regulations. I believe that quality emerges top-down and bottom-up. Good leadership and the meticulous propriety of the basic, fundamental elements interact to create the perfection for which we are well known.”

“I would hardly consider 'perfection' or 'quality' words that have any place within hard-core pornography. You are little more than a trotting purveyor of perversion, a mind-sapping miscreant. But that will become evident soon enough. For now, proceed with your demonstration,” Twilight said, giving Hoity a dismissive wave.

“Impudent shtripling...” Photo seethed, quietly, leaning up to whisper to Hoity, “Why do you continue to indulge her? She should be thrown from the shtudio mitt violence.”

“Would that I could...” Hoity quietly replied. He then shoo his head and whispered, “No. I always believe in the sensible, diplomatic solution. I can prove we are fully compliant.” He then spoke up, “Very well, Miss Sparkle. I will call two of our actresses for a rehearsal.”

“Hot ones,” Spike noted, getting a curious look from Twilight. Sensing her gaze, Spike promptly began to backpedal. “Uh, I meant ones who were... popular,” He said while shuffling his feet, “That's it. Hot porn stars would be more likely to deliver an accurate performance.”

“A bit prejudiced but I see where your logic sits,” Twilight said.

Hoity was already at a phone, sending a call over the PA system. “Trixie, Gilda, studio seven, please. Rehearsal. Repeat, Trixie, Gilda, come to studio seven for a rehearsal.”

A few moments later the studio door opened again to let in the indicated pair. Gilda the griffin was wearing a black denim vest with a large patch on the back for the band Dropbuck Murphys. She was also wearing numerous studded bracelets on all four legs, black liner around the blue surrounding her eyes and, oddly, a gold Claddagh ring on her left hand. Trixie was completely bare, showing off a small collection of tattoos. Across her back was the word OPRÉ rendered in very ornate letters, over an image of bursting fireworks and herself, standing in triumph. Tattooed stars moved on the cheeks of her rear end with every step, along with the word 'Great' on one side and 'Powerful' over the other, and over each teat were tattooed large lilies, a calla over the left and a November lily over the right, both having the nipple as the tips of spadix and pistil respectively. She wore no makeup but had a gold ring settled at the base of her horn.

“You called, Mister Toity?” Gilda asked with a bored tone. Speaking revealed a silver tongue stud, which made a small clicking sound whenever she pronounced her T's.”

Hoity indicated the two to Twilight. “Miss Sparkle, here are two of our actresses, and fairly popular ones at that. Gilda O'Maol and Trixie Lulamoon. Ladies, this is Twilight Sparkle a... government inspector, here to assess our practices and procedures. All very routine.”

“There's no need for any paltry attempts at professionalism on my account,” Twilight said quietly to Hoity, with a cruel smile on her face. “I see through your facade like a latex condom.” She then spoke louder to the two actresses, “Ladies! Please proceed to the set, prepare yourselves and then get to having sex. And don't spare the tribism.”

The two women looked to Hoity in confusion. He rubbed his hooves together suggestively and motioned towards the set. “The formal name for 'tribbing.' You know, the word we tend to plaster over your packaging.”

“Yes! Of course. We knew that,” Trixie said quickly, taking on an imperious look. “Don't treat us like fools, Mister Toity.”

“Mind the egosh,” Photo cautioned, clopping a hoof on the floor. “No more of the lip!” She cried suddenly, pointing to the set. “Go! Make the magics! Schnell!”

Gilda and Trixie did not hesitate after the order from Photo, rushing onto the pillows and throwing themselves into the piles. “What's our motivation for this thing?” Gilda asked.

“Kiss! Kiss and make out and rub against each other,” Spike huffed, breathing heavily, smiling a big, creepy smile with drool coming from the corners of his mouth. The bulge in his trousers was more noticeable than ever.

“Spike! I think your interest may be less academic and more prurient! I expect better out of my number one assistant,” Twilight said with a shocked tone. To emphasize her disappointment she let out a zap of magic that hit Spike's ass and made the short dragon jump.

Even though he was largely immune to pokes, falls and electric shock Twilight's natural magical power made her a perfect taser. The magic bolt was able to penetrate his thick scales and make it hurt a bit. “Yow! Sorry. I got a bit... enthusiastic about our research.”

“Yes... I'm sure. Very well... go on then. Make them... do what it is they do,” Twilight said, indicating Trixie and Gilda.

“Yes... well now, the dragon was not off the mark. Work up to the trib portions, touch each other, lick a lot, Miss O'Maol can use her fingers, as she has so often before,” Hoity said. “Very well. Action!”

The call of action animated the two women. They grabbed each other and started kissing solidly. There was a subtle clicking as Gilda's tongue stud ran along Trixie's teeth, the only indicator of Trixie's tongue being an occasional bulge seen against one of Gilda's cheeks.

Their limbs were not still, but roamed over each other's bodies. Trixie's left hoof was under Gilda, feeling up the swells of her six modest teats, while her right hoof was caressing over her partially extended and subtly twitching wings. Gilda had both of her hands on Trixie's ass, firmly squeezing the tattooed words and laying down the odd slap. Each quick smack was expertly placed and struck either a word or a star.

The kiss broke apart with a mutual moan from them both, bodies shuddering from the stimulation they were delivering. Gilda moved her hands under Trixie, taking firm grasp of her nipples and giving them a quick twist, then a firm pull, almost seeming to be testing how far she could pull them, the fleshy nubs slipping form her grip and snapping back to place, tearing a pleasured squeal from Trixie. In retaliation, or thanks, Trixie lit her horn, magical force appearing over each of Gilda's nipples, all six of them pulled out sharply and then allowed to snap back against her belly, bringing a happy screech from Gilda as well as the puffing of her neck feathers.

Spike grinned his creepy grin again and started drooling. “Oh yea, that's right. Slap her again...” He looked up when Twilight turned a critical eye on him, immediately scribbling madly on his notepad. “Slap her again... and she's likely to sustain an injury. They should exercise more caution.” When Twilight turned away he let out a sigh and surreptitiously tried to rub the front of his pants with his notebook.

Trixie nuzzled against the puffed-up neck feathers and up underneath her beak. Her magical power flicked and twisted on Gilda's nipples. The magical force pressed down against Gilda's lower lips, the vague energy seen to be in a kind of spherical form. It rolled slowly over the wet and well-spread lips, grinding and nudging at Gilda's clit, repeatedly making her screech and lightly squirt around the pressing field.

Gilda took action quickly. While letting out a long and trembling moan she pulled Trixie's tail up and rather directly ground one thick finger against her dewy vulva. The semi-ridged scales of her talon, combined with the textured ribbing, pulled a keening cry out of Trixie. Gilda started softly against the upper portion of the slit and grew firmer as she ran down, using one smooth motion to unhood Trixie's clit and slowly run the scaled ridges of her talon up against it, bringing out another scream of delight.

The screaming from both of them really began when Gilda smoothly inserted that ribbed finger into Trixie's heated, trembling passage, stretching the walls out smoothly and making them press and mold to the texturing. The next finger on her hand moved up and down, rubbing Trixie's clit and flicking it lightly each time it passed a rib. Trixie was doing her own multitasking, the sphere of magic shrinking down and altering appearance until it took on a vague egg shape while a small secondary magical surge formed over Gilda's clit. The ovoid energy ball pushed firmly against the tight tunnel, opening it up and then being nearly 'swallowed' by the squeezing folds, while the clit-snuggling energy tweaked, tugged and twisted the nub of flesh.

Twilight looked on, impassively, too focused on assessing the scene to notice her assistant was trying to dry-hump his notebook. “You seem to be a master of exploiting loopholes, aren't you?”

“I am a master of using all holes properly,” Hoity noted, dryly. “You left the exception in there, noting that the specific measures were only meant for genital-genital contact. It would explain your interest in tribbing for them. Though... I'm sure you will feel foolish but I found another very arguable point in the draft that will come down on us.”

“Ha! That's not possible. I know what I am doing, after all,” Twilight said, with a proud puff of her chest.

“You think so? As I recall, the call for protection specifically says that it must be specifically enforced for male and female performers, not male performers and female performers individually. The argument can be made that the pre-attired provision is intended only for heterosexual activity, which is why these ladies are not starting out so-attired,” Hoity gave a smug grin and seemed to wink behind his sunglasses.

Twilight seethed inwardly and stomped one hoof lightly. “I should have caught that. I minored in law. It's a very petty point but could be tied up in court for a while. I'll tighten that up in the final draft...”

“What's even the point of all this?” Hoity asked, in a light, friendly tone. “I can assure you current practices are sufficient. We use birth control as needed, and administer ample tests of both blood and urine, with regular physical examinations by reputable doctors...”

“I know that,” Twilight said, cutting in with a dismissive tone. “Your records are open to the government. I reviewed all the relevant medical evidence and saw that you were doing fairly well. I minored in medicine.” She shouted suddenly, “Spike! Make a note that we need to modify the draft to specify all genders individually and with no respect to sexuality.

“Right! Right! Got it,” Spike said, suddenly back at Twilight's side. He scribbled on his notepad while wincing slightly over the straining lump in his pants. His attention drifted from the writing to the sapphic sexual scene before him.

In the time that the conversation had been going on Trixie and Gilda had changed position, Trixie on her back and Gilda over her, their faces in each other's crotches. Trixie alternated between straight-out licking and tilting her head down to gently insert her horn into Gilda, the griffin bouncing her own rear a few times before she pulled off to start the cycle again. Gilda was being far more direct, her beak open wide and looking to be 'stirring' Trixie's honeypot, pulling out after a few quick churns to grind her tongue stud against Trixie's clit.

“This is going nowhere,” Twilight said, “You're too smart to require them to trib and they know it. Fine, let us get to the closed portion of the loophole. Get a heterosexual pair in here. We'll see how compliant you really are.”

Hoity nodded and shouted, “Cut! That was very good, ladies, but our government functionary has lost interest. Please have the rest of the day off, with my thanks and full pay.

There was a bit of hesitation as the two had found a groove that really worked for them. But Gilda and Trixie soon pulled their tongues form each other and gave a last lick for the genitals before them. Trixie huffed as she rolled off her back and to her hooves. “Well! The Great and Powerful Trixie has never been so offended! What is the matter? Not up to your standards? Your perverted little lizard was enjoying the free show.” Spike's flushed face looked down as he covered his crotch with his notepad. The front of his pants were sticky from the precum oozing out of his tip. She glared at Twilight and turned her nose up. “You have no taste, you officious prude.”

Gilda was a bit more succinct. She flipped off Twilight with the finger that had her ring on it and draped an arm around Trixie. “Come on, let's go finish back at the apartment then go for a pint.” The two walked out of the room, still faintly dripping. All eyes followed them, Rainbow Dash's wings slowly rising up.

“We'll clean that at the appointed time. We have a schedule. For now, however...” Hoity went back to the phone, calling over the PA, “Miss Fluttershy, Mister William, to studio seven, attired as requested. Repeat, Miss Fluttershy, Mister William to studio seven in the pre-discussed attire.”

“Your two big names, I see. You must have drilled them well,” Twilight said.

“Nein! There wash no drilling of the talent! Leasht of all the bull! I can guarantee that Herr Toity ish completely shtrait!” Photo was in Twilight's face in an instant, waving a hoof threateningly.

Rainbow Dash interposed herself between Twilight and Photo suddenly, wings spreading threateningly. “Back off, krautwurst or I'll make you wish you had never left the beer garden!”

“Control yourself, Miss Finish!” Hoity said sharply, pulling Photo away from Twilight and her personal glacier of angry meat. “Miss Sparkle was only commenting that she believes that I have instructed our performers on the finer points of the law, as though preparing them for a school examination, because they are entirely unfamiliar with what is required. I can assure you, Miss Sparkle, that while I have taken pains to instruct my employees in the necessary points of the law, they understand and obey, perhaps without passion but that is to be expected.”

“I don't require their passion, only their obedience,” Twilight said sharply.

“We have the outfit for that ash well,” Photo dryly noted, sulking on her haunches behind Hoity.

After a tense period of waiting, mostly silent save for the grumbles of Spike adjusting his pants, Fluttershy and Iron Will arrived. Iron Will was nude, except for some stout shackles on his wrists and ankles, and a condom over his erection that resembled nothing so much as a trash bag. How they had found such a thing was indeed a mystery. In his hands he bore several stout chains. Fluttershy was much more curiously attired, wearing a creaky outfit of black vinyl that covered most of her body, with cut-out portions for her teats and her sex. The outfit was studded with metal points in several places, and had a number of zippers over the surface. Attached to the waist was a riding crop and a ball gag. “Well now, as unusual as I find all of this at least you managed to inform them properly,” Twilight noted, adjusting her glasses as she looked at Fluttershy.

“My performers are professionals, Miss Sparkle, and never forget that. None but the best for this studio,” Hoity said, with a good deal of pride. “Mister William, Miss Fluttershy, I understand how unconventional this is and how uncomfortable you may be. But as I said, I realize you are professional and will exert proper grace under pressure.”

“Grace?” Twilight muttered under her breath, “That's a laugh.”

At Hoity's direction, Fluttershy and Iron Will made it onto the stage.

“Watch this carefully, I think something's up, don't take your eyes off of this for a moment,” Twilight whispered to Spike.

“No trouble there,” Spike answered, somewhat absently, leaning forward a little to get that much of a better look at Fluttershy's dominatrix attire.

Fluttershy had been busy on the stage. She had taken the chains from Iron Will and attached them to the shackles, hooking the other ends to points around the stage. She had also placed the ball gag in his mouth, leaving him well-secured and silent atop all the pillows, his package lewdly exposed to all the observers

All of a sudden Fluttershy took up the riding crop and began to strike him across the chest and stomach with it. The device did not seem to affect him too much but he still reacted with chain-rattling twitches each time he was stricken. The abuse moved lower and lower, the crop hitting over each ab, and each thigh before his tremendous testicles took a few strokes.

That got more of a reaction out of Iron Will, the big bull bellowing into the muffling rubber of the gag while his eyes practically bugged out of his head and he pulled on the chains rather hard. There was nothing he could do, however, as Fluttershy took a few more, somewhat restrained, hits at his sac. She dropped the crop after that and crawled up to his head, undoing the gag and pulling it from his mouth. “Oooh... did you really have to..?” Iron Will began, lowing miserably behind his words.

Before he could finish Fluttershy turned right around and stuffed her rear end in Iron Will's face, screaming, “You're gonna love me! With your tongue!” She pressed her exposed pussy right up against Iron Will's mouth, silencing any further commentary. With no options open to him Iron Will extended his long, thick tongue, and began digging and swirling it around inside of Fluttershy while she released several long, deep moans.

The forced cunnilingus went on for a decent span of time, involving much grinding from Fluttershy. Her ass pushed back against Iron Will's mouth to get his tongue just that much deeper within her or to work her clit against his chin. For his part, Iron Will occasionally dragged his tongue out to flick at that little nub of flesh, getting a fresh squirt of silky mare juice as a reward. His erection, slightly withered from the ball-slapping incident, had recovered to full hardness after the long oral session.

Fluttershy pulled away from Iron Will's tongue after a bit more work and juicing, her thighs trembling and her eyes a trifle glazed. She turned around slowly, exposing her well-licked passage to all the observers before she began to slowly grind the sodden muff against Iron Will's condom-clad cock. “Now you're gonna love me with this...” She cooed, raising her ass higher and higher, reaching for the crown.

“Stop! Stop!” Twilight yelled, drawing all eyes to her and bringing the action to a grinding halt. “What manner of disobedience is this?”

“Miss Sparkle, just what is the matter with you? First you demand to see sex and then you dismiss the performers, you ask for it again and you stop it once more! We have a name for you in this business. Though uncouth it is still true, you are a cocktease,” Hoity said, tartly.

“I'll say she is!” Spike shouted, getting a zap on the ass for his trouble. “Ow! Sorry!”

“Miss Fluttershy! Why are you not obeying the regulations?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I, um, thought I was,” Fluttershy said, all her dominance melting away and leaving her the same, shy mare she normally was.

“Yes, Miss Fluttershy, rest assured you are doing exactly as required!” Hoity took a letter out of his chest pocket, scanning over the page to find the section he needed. “Right here, in this preliminary overview of this ludicrous Penile Code of yours, after stating that it would apply to male and female actions, the ambiguous passage, it says the necessary requirement is to be a condoms on the males and femdom for the females. She is attired as a dominatrix, which would seem to fulfill the requirement.”

Twilight grabbed the letter away from Hoity and scoffed. “There is supposed to be a hyphen in there. I can't believe this. It's supposed to say 'fem-dom', as in a female condom.” Using another magical tendril she reached into her suit jacket and extracted a foil-wrapped package and tore it open, unrolling a very cylindrical piece of rubber, a one-opening tube. The closed end terminated in something like a diaphragm. “Here. It comes pre-lubricated and with the surfaces treated with spermicidal jelly.” She levitated the ungainly prophylactic over to Fluttershy and pushed it into her hooves. “There. Now put it in. We must be safe. If you need assistance I can offer magical help.”

After a moment of fussing and frustration, and the assistance of Iron Will after freeing one of his arms, Fluttershy had the fem-dom in. Following an approving nod from Twilight, Fluttershy resumed her place on Iron Will, sex hovering over the crown of his latex-wrapped member. She sank down with a pleasured little squeal that was entirely lost with the squeal of condom-on-fem-dom. It sounded like two balloons rubbing against one another. Rising up did not significantly help the problem, nor did sinking back down. Every little motion produced the unpleasant squeak. “Ach! Meine Prinzessinnen! That shound! What manner of foolishness ish thish?!” Photo shouted, holding her ears.

“This is beyond the pale, Miss Sparkle!” Hoity cried, likewise holding his ears. “I was upset enough about the use of condoms...”

“How can one have a porn shoot with theshe infernal devicesh? What about projectile ejaculation?” Photo cut in.

“Miss Finish is quite correct! A porno without a cum shot is like an action movie without explosions! It ruins the entire aesthetic of the art!” Hoity cried.

“Don't try to give me that 'art' excuse. This is hardly avant garde high art. I minored in film studies, I should know,” Twilight said, dismissively. “I know you question this, but safe sex is the government standard.”

“What is this? Are you frightened that without condoms you might get hit with an errant cum spurt?” Hoity said, “I wouldn't worry. If any stray jizz flies your way, your bodyguard can dive in front of you and take the hit.”

Dash snorted sharply and waved a hoof at Hoity, flipping him off with both wings. “You just wish, pervert.”

Twilight silence Dash with a look then looked firmly at Hoity. “This is it. I suggest you get used to filming with these things in place.” With that Twilight stormed off, followed closely by a scowling Dash.

Spike remained behind, watching the squeaking sexual intercourse until he got another chastening shock across the hind end from Twilight.

“Coming, Spike?” Twilight asked.

“Not at this rate,” Spike grumbled.

The squeaking and squirking of the condom-inhibited sex went on for a while longer, Fluttershy and Iron Will both uncertain about what they should be doing. The issue was resolved by Hoity waving a hoof. “Please, please, for the love of all artistic integrity, stop raping my ears with that infernal squeaking.”

“I'm so sorry Mister Toity I... this thing just squeaks,” Fluttershy said, flying off of Iron Will's erection and settling down beside him.

“It is not your fault, Miss Fluttershy. This is simply the new reality we must accept,” Hoity said, a bit distracted. “You may go. Please try to keep a positive outlook. We will get through this.”

Iron Will rose, gingerly, patting Fluttershy on the head. “Let's go. I think they can handle this. I need to go put some ice on my cowbell. You're stronger than you look.” He gave Fluttershy a wry smile and started slowly walking out of the studio.

“I'm so sorry! I should have never used any force. But it had to look good. Oh Fluttershy, you don't know your own strength,” Fluttershy mumbled to herself as she accompanied Iron Will out.

Hoity waited for the door to close then noted, “That was a debacle. I think I underestimated our opponent.”

“Which you do at your peril,” Photo noted.

“Indeed. Let us lay in defenses and prepare for this protracted engagement. We have weathered other storms, we will outlast this young upstart as well,” Hoity said, standing tall and strong.

Later that day, after returning to the local office that Twilight had rented Spike walked out of the bathroom, looking very satisfied.

“You were in there an awfully long time, Twilight said, judgingly, “What were you doing?”

Spike's eyes shifted nervously. “Just... uh, reviewing my notes from earlier today,” He said, as he began to sweat. “I wanted to be ready for later.”

“Good,” Twilight said, “Because it's time to debrief you.”

“What?” Spike said.

“I have a stack of porn tapes from Bare Mare Studios,” Twilight noted, “We need to review these tapes and find the most flagrant examples of rule-breaking and use it against them.

Not long after Twilight and Spike were settled in front of the television. At that time they were working through the Rarity collection, which had her billed as 'Lady Rarity' to draw a contrast between herself and her rough, frequently thuggish Diamond Dog costars. “Is that all you've got?!” The Rarity on the screen screamed while being double-teamed by two Diamond Dogs.

“Look at that disgusting display,” Twilight said, contemptuously.

“Yes ma'am!” Spike said, too eagerly, even giving a salute. He was interested for so many reasons. From the moment he saw that pristine white coat and the royal purple curls of her mane he was absolutely smitten. She was sexy, sweet, demure and needed a dragon like him! He could rush in and save her from the Dogs that were continually assaulting and insulting her, filling her every hole with unwanted poles.

Twilight reacted to Spike's 'romantic hero' fantasizing under the mistaken impression he was experiencing an improper reaction to the sexual material by zapping him on the ass again. “Spike! The mind must be clear and free of such distasteful filth. Remember, the mind is a wonderful thing when chaste.” Twilight delivered the final admonition with a practiced smoothness, like it was looped from a recording.

“I know, I know, I'll remember,” Spike said. Aside, he muttered, “Because you've said it a million times.”

Twilight adjusted her glasses and rubbed at her temples during the money shot on the screen. “That contemptible stallion may have been overstating the case just a bit but not my as much as I would have liked. Filth though this work is, there's an undeniable quality to it that shows the caring eye of a professional and some measure of artistry. He learned a lot as a legitimate photographer. He should have stayed there. Frivolous puff though it was it was at least harmless.”

“So what does that mean?” Spike asked.

Twilight glanced at the calendar and frowned. “It means the vote on this law will not wait. There are temporary requirements in place imposed as part of the health regulations that I already had put in place but those expire after the vote on this. As little as I think of consumers of this even their blood-starved brains would recognize how good this is and keep buying. We won't break their backs or wear them down as easily.”

Spike was already only half-paying-attention, interested in watching the Diamond Dog semen running down over Rarity, picturing himself both saving her from that fate and frosting her himself. “So, uh, what does that mean?”

“It means we need to strangle them harder and faster. Bring out the moral crusaders. Don't spare the down-home charm, rectitude and catchy slogans. Get me all the children-savers and simple-minded hayseed porn-haters you can find,” Twilight said with a distracted tone. As an afterthought she zapped Spike again, smiling at his chastened yelp.

Easy to be hard

Spike may have been a closet hornball grudgingly working for a frigid busybody PoliSci degree-holder but he was nothing if not efficient. After hitting a few ready-made telephone trees and calling up a few lower-level elected officials for information on their more 'vocal' constituents he had the names of plenty of moralistic busybodies. A few more telephone calls, some teary pleas and a few drum-pounding speeches about the scourge of pornography he had assembled a picket line in under a week.

The miniature dragon surveyed his work with a smile. The space was deep and packed in with buildings, but the front was still fairly notable. There wasn't often much in the way of attention for the studio but that didn't matter. The picket line was to intimidate the workers, and hopefully draw the media, not change the minds of locals.

The picketers were mostly mares, along with a few stallions who were clearly there with their wives. At the front were a trio mares with flowers for cutie marks waving signs and occasionally screaming in unison, “Porn hurts children! Won't somepony please think of the children?”

The ringleader of it all oozed country-fried moral rectitude and hayseed respectability, from her hay-blonde mane to her apple Cutie Mark and the stetson hat on her head. Applejack. Every elected official dreaded a letter with a postmark from out in the sticks. It was probably from her complaining about some little thing or another, from mail delivery schedules to water metering, but she really shone when it came to moral matters. Liquor stores, drugs, scanty clothing when it was worn, violence and sexual material on television. She was not entirely backwards, of course. She had abandoned the once-held long family tradition of being against miscegenation, after a buffalo had married into the family and her grandmother had taken up with the zebra sharecropper that farmed the plot adjacent to their property.

At the head of the picket line there was a sign attached to a harness on her back that had, 'Stand firm with the Penile Code' across it in giant letters. She, herself, was very vocal, crying out, “Red tape prevents rape! Red tape prevents rape!”

The day was going beautifully for Spike. He had put the call into the media outlets and despite the reputation of his boss as a disgraced busybody he had been promised a few mobile units. He was already calculating his media path, first a quick early-morning blurb, then a little astroturfed attention to inflate the attention paid to it. The stations would give the picket a midday span, garnering genuine attention along with the manufactured outrage. All the grumbling and angry letters would bring out the big guns, the prime-time news anchors, both the on-scene reporters and the studio anchors. They'd be a top story in no time. He slipped a quartz spike into ins mouth and gave it a bite, crunching on his morsel and holding the rest out in a proper cigar-like fashion.

In the middle of all the commotion Rarity arrived, for her usual day at work. The presence of the picket line more than surprised her, but she was a lady used to being surprised. This time she didn't even have a blindfold on, making it much less shocking. She strode confidently up to the picket line, expecting to be angrily rebuffed or at least surrounded by all the insufferable moralists, receiving heaping amounts of abuse.

What she got instead was one of the flower-mares coming up to her with a smile and a glance down to her belly. “Oh hello dear! You must be here to join our picket! You must really feel passionately about preserving our moral culture if you were willing to protest in your condition. We've needed ponies to think about the children and you're a perfect example of that,” The rose-marked mare said.

“Goodness! Well, I certainly do think about children, most especially mine,” Rarity said, giving a reflexive rub of her belly. “But I am afraid that you have made a bit of a mistake...”

“Did you need a chair, or a bench or something to rest on? I know pregnancy is a delicate condition,” Said a mare with a lily in her mane.

“Hmm, I wouldn't mind if I had my fainting couch...” Rarity mused.

Spike finally swept his eyes over the trio of mares and noticed Rarity. He snapped the quartz spike in half and dropped it, rushing over with a great urgency.

“Well now, I'm not entirely certain the identity of the father. Well, I mean I can narrow it down to species, of course. But the breed escapes me,” Rarity said, softly fluffing her mane.

“Breed? You mean race?” The rose-marked mare asked.

“Hey there! Oh my gosh! Lady Rarity! I hope you haven't been having any trouble getting through!” Spike finally arrived, panting, his eyes wild. “Get back! I know you don't like porn actors but I won't have you abusing a pregnant mare!”

The mare with a daisy on her flank pulled back from Rarity suddenly. “You're... you're one of the workers in that place?”

“Well, yes, darling. I thought that was fairly apparent,” Rarity replied.

“But... but... you're pregnant!” The lily-wearing one screamed.

“And quite proud of it! Motherhood has offered me a spectacular glow and fecund aura that truly enhances my womanliness. I have never felt so alive, and so much like a lady,” Rarity said, eyelashes fluttering while her eyes sparkled.

“And by law she has to be allowed to get to her place of business,” Spike said, elbowing his way through the flower mares. “P-please, Lady Rarity, allow me to escort you inside.”

“Oh my, how gallant of you,” Rarity said, demurely fanning herself with a hoof as she started to enter the building.

“Wait there you!” Applejack yelled, pointing rather accusingly at Rarity. “Ya sell yer body and yer dignity fer money,” She cried reproachfully, “Ya conceive a bastard child outta wedlock. How do y'all sleep at night?”

“On a pile of pillows, surrounded by burly Diamond Dogs,” Rarity answered, looking rather proud of herself. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh you flip lil thing!” Applejack strode closer. Before she reached Rarity however, Spike came back to the door and pulled Rarity inside, having only just realized she wasn't with him.

The lobby of Bare Mare Studios was exactly the same as it always had been. The feel of it was sleek and modern, the walls curved comfortingly and painted a soft eggshell white. The carpet was a dark blue and the high ceilings were set with humming fluorescent lights. In the center of the room was the receptionist area, made of two semi-circular desks set low. As ever the desks were staffed by two cream-colored unicorn mares wearing headsets. The one facing forward was about to greet Rarity when she noticed Spike. “Oh, it's you again. Come to bother us again? If you're bothering Miss Rarity...”

“Do not be concerned, Opal, this dragon has been quite the gentleman. He got me through that horrid picket line,” Rarity said, giving Spike a little a rub on the head, causing the dragon to sheepishly grin and poke a claw into his mouth.

“Probably just being a little spy for his boss. He's just that kind of stooping little toady,” The rear unicorn mare said with a huff.

Rarity reacted with utter shock. “Beryl!” She cried. “You are usually far more accepting of others. Horrible though his boss may be, he should be assessed on his own. He seems fine.”

“Yes! I'm a good guy,” Spike sniffed, tugging on the lapels of his coat. “May I continue to escort you to your dressing room, Lady Rarity?”

“Yes you may,” Rarity said with a slight grin. As she trotted on she casually remarked, “You need not be so formal. That is only my stage name after all. Please do call me Rarity.”

“Rarity...” Spike said with a dreamy tone, holding the door to the back corridors open and stepping in after her. “I have to say... Oh I am such a huge fan! I've seen all your movies. Repeatedly!”

“Is that so?” Rarity asked, with a curious glance backwards. “I'm rather surprised to hear you enjoy my films, considering that you work for... her.”

“It's just a job to me,” Spike said, dismissively, “Not like you. You're passionate about your art.”

“It's true,” Rarity said, “My persona simply oozes passion... amongst other things.” She cleared her throat and asked, “So you say you saw all my movies?”

“Oh yea! All of them! Every single one, start to finish,” Spike said, a perverse smile pulling his mouth wide, a little drool running from the corner of his mouth.

“Ah! I was afraid of that! I am so sorry you were subjected to my earliest endeavors. What foolishness, working rather basely with ponies. If only I knew then what I do now...” Rarity said, ascending the stairs to reach a modest landing set up as a kind of small lounge. In that space Butch the mid-sized Diamond Dog, reading a book, one leg crossed over his knee. He was not wearing his usual pouch but rather a fairly large loincloth.

Butch lifted his head and leaped happily out of his seat, tail wagging when he saw Rarity. “Rarity! I was hoping I would see you!”

“Back off, dude, I'm here on official government business,” Spike said, holding out a hand and standing confidently before Rarity.

“Now, now, he is one of my co-stars. And a most beloved one,” Rarity came up and gave Butch a soft hug around his waist.

“What do you mean?” Spike asked, looking quite confused. Butch peered at him. “You... you hate Diamond Dogs.”

“Oh! Acting. I thank you for the kind words about my capabilities. It is very hard to manage, as I have such a great passion for them. I never work with any other but my sweet, generous kennel of canines,” Rarity said, kissing Butch on the chest. Spike's face visibly fell.

Butch grew a large, sly smile on seeing just how crushed Spike looked. He suddenly gave a pitiable yowl and sat back down, cupping his crotch. “Ooooh... ow...”

Rarity gasped sharply and ran to his side immediately. “Darling! Whatever is the matter?”

Butch continued to whimper and lightly twitch, one eye open to look at Spike and a smile on his lips. “Oooh... earlier today Mister Toity dropped by and told me to spend a few hours doing the stop and start technique.”

“Stop and start technique?” Spike asked, “What's that?”

“It's when a male pleasures himself to the edge of an orgasm, but then stops before ejaculating,” Rarity said with a knowledgeable air, “When repeated, his eventual release results in a nice, big cumshot for the climax.”

“I did it just a little too long and now my family jewels are really sore,” Butch said, pitiably.

“Oh my poor, sweet, lovely Dog,” Rarity cooed, dropping to her knees and resting her head on Butch's lap. “Do you want me to kiss them and make them better?”

Butch looked down on her with a quivering lower lip and watery eyes, adding a light whimper. “Y-yes please. You always make me feel better.”

“You flatter me, darling. It's nothing more than what a good lady should do for those about whom she cares,” Rarity said softly, nudging aside the loincloth to reveal the naked genitals below. She nuzzled up against the large, full, hairless balls, rubbing her soft snout along the low, ovoid stones. After taking a few long, slow breaths against them she moved her lips into position and planted a kiss on the left one. She moved slowly to the other side of the sac, placing a soft kiss on the other. “Is that better dear?”

Butch added a light whimper and nodded slowly. “Yes. But... maybe one more kiss on them?”

“But of course. You hardly need to ask...” Rarity planted her lips very solidly over one testicle, softly moaning as she kissed the cool thing. She pulled off and drifted aside to the other, giving it as kiss that was just as large and as filled with moaning as the last one.

With a gentle moan, Rarity took Butch's balls into her mouth and tenderly sucked on them. His hot shaft was pressed against her cheek. She could feel the weight of his balls, which were full of life-giving seed. Seed which would soon be plastered all over her sweaty body.

She moved her head away and fluttered her lashes. “How is that?”

“You always know just what to do, dear...” Butch said, letting out a soft huff and moving his loincloth over his slightly-wet sac and half-stiffened rod. “Are you going to your dressing room?”

“Yes I am, I was being escorted by this fine fellow,” Rarity said, indicating Spike, who was looking completely destroyed, a combination of confusion and sadness, “But now I can get there on my own. I only wish I could see him back out.”

“Oh don't worry, I'll see him out,” Butch said with a grin. “You go to your dressing room. I'll be up to go over our lines and positions.”

“As long as it is not an imposition,” Rarity said.

“Not at all,” Butch replied.

“Very well. Thank you very much, Butch, darling. And thank you as well... oh! I neglected to get your name. But I understand you will be around. I shall learn it at a later time,” Rarity said. She waved her hoof to the two and slipped into the door leading to the second story main corridor.

Butch laughed raucously at Spike as soon as he was sure Rarity was out of earshot. “You actually got a crush on her!”

“Shut up, you gem-poaching hound!” Spike yelled, snorting a small burst of green fire.

“You didn't know she only loves Diamond Dogs, did you? And you tried to 'nice dragon' your way between her thighs! You'd have better luck with long arms and a slobbery tongue,” Butch said, polishing his manicured claws against his chest.

Spike seethed and shook a fist at Butch. “You stupid... you're lying! She's not into you! She can't fake it that well! She thinks you dogs are perverted and disgusting and... and she hates you!”

“That's not what she said when she brought me home after dinner, told me to take off my condom and cum inside her,” Butch said proudly, solidly thumping his chest and giving a thumbs-up.

“It's fake! She really wants someone to ride in and save her! Like that one movie... okay, so the guy failed and she got raped for an hour by Dogs but this time it'll be different!”

Butch had a good, hearty laugh over that and stepped forward, lightly pushing Spike back. “Look here, flame-farter, you can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. We've had some dragons in here. Rarity never looked at them. And they were way the fuck bigger than you. Emphasis on 'bigger' and 'fuck.'” Butch popped his brows and thrust his cloth-covered crotch at Spike, softening lump coming dangerously close to the small dragon.

Spike backed up with a grunt of disgust. “Dude, that's gay. Fine, think what you want. But I'm a nice guy, and I'm gonna find a way to get her want to want to be with me.”

“All the nice guy crap in the world won't help. She's just not into you and there's no fucking way you'll ever be into her. Rarity's too smart to fall for your shit. You think she's just a fainting pretty face but she knows more than you imagine. She can distinguish between a douche who just wants to get in her cooch and the ones who really care.”

“Oh like you flea-bitten drool factories really care about a fine lady like her,” Spike snorted, sending another rush of green fire.

“Yea, we do,” Butch said with a sudden seriousness. “That's a puppy in her belly. All of us that work at the studio could be the father. We don't know which one and frankly we don't care. It just matters it's one of us. So we're gonna take care of her until we all find out. Even after that as long as she keeps caring about us we'll keep caring about her. She earned it. You haven't done anything and think you can get with her? Fat chance you sawed-off gas-bag.”

Spike flipped off Butch and stuck out his tongue. “Whatever. I'll prove you're wrong. Just you wait.”

Butch snorted loudly and waved a hand. “Yea, right. Now get out of here. It looks like you're through with your 'official business' which means you're trespassing. I'll throw you out of here if you won't leave,” Butch said as her approached Spike threateningly.

“Fine! Fine... if I make my boss look bad she'll have my scales. I'll get out of here, but Rarity's going to come around to my charms sooner or later,” Spike said. With a dramatic flourish he took an exaggerated step towards the stairs, miscalculated the edge and tumbled down, grunting and shouting the whole way.

“Takes care of him,” Butch said, peering down the stairs and watching Spike laying there in a dazed, swirl-eyed heap, “For now. Now, to get some of that pony poon.” Butch strolled to the door and through it. He knew what would happen. Rarity would use his face as a seat for an orgasm or two while she did her makeup then go over the lines while she played some opera in the background. A good time all around.

Back outside on the street Fluttershy and Iron Will were coming into work, chatting pleasantly. “I think we could do it. Enough lube, go slow, we both move right, it might be possible,” Iron Will said, one hand making a sinuous motion against his other hand, which he was holding still.

“I guess you're right. It has potential. Miss Finish would love the marketing opportunities and Mister Toity would love the filming challenge. And... it would remind me of... our first time...” Fluttershy said, her last few statements said in increasingly soft tones while her head dropped and she hid herself behind her mane.

Iron Will gave one of his usual deep, chesty laughs, reaching out to slowly stroke down Fluttershy's mane. “Yea. Our first time. Well, it started with you and your mouth but... Yea, it would be like that. I just wouldn't have to wear that stupid, itchy loincloth and that hood. This face deserves to be on camera.” He struck a pose while walking and gave a winning smile.

Fluttershy giggled quietly and lifted her head some. “Yes, it really do- what's all the commotion at the studio?”

Both mare and bull ran up on hearing some shouting, turning a corner to see the picket line. They heard both the cry of, “Won't someone please think of the children?” and the repeated chant of, “Red tape prevents rape! Red tape prevents rape!” They also saw a few news vans on scene, though all the ponies in them were setting up equipment or talking on the phone.

“Well that's new,” Iron Will said. “Guess that angry unicorn had a few ideas about how to put a stranglehold on us.”

“That's just impolite, blocking the way to the studio. We should ask them to move. Politely,” Fluttershy said, looking rather determined despite her submissive posture.

“We should ask them to do something. We've gotta go to work,” Iron Will said, sizing up the chanter. Hard-working country mare. Standard issue complainer.

Iron Will was hard to miss, both from his size and by his species. The protestors all saw him and began to angrily shake their signs at him. The ringleader even galloped out to him. “You there! Yer part-a this here filth factory! Shame on you! Shame on all y'all fer what ya do ta this fine land!” Applejack yelled.

“Um, please, don't yell like that. We can talk about this, like civil ponies. Right?” Fluttershy asked, gingerly inserting herself between Applejack and Iron Will.

“Fluttershy, go ahead inside. I need to have some words with this mare,” Iron Will snorted, making his nose ring wave slightly.

“I-if you say so. Please don't fight...” Fluttershy murmured, stepping carefully around the protesting ponies who all seemed to be engrossed in the meeting between Applejack and Iron Will.

The two figures stood facing one another, the news ponies scrambling to get their cameras up. A cheap fight was always good news no matter the time of day. Applejack narrowed her eyes and waved her sign rather pointedly, before calling out, “Ah thought yer kind had more morals an' all that kinda stuff! Sure, ya ain't like Equestrians but ya still got all that tradition an' culture! How could ya turn yer back on all that fer some cheap sex with easy ponies?”

Iron Will grunted hard, a soft growl rumbling in his chest, one hand curling into a fist. “I'll let you say anything you want about me. I don't care because I know how things really are. But you do not say anything about the ponies I work with, especially not... never mind that. Just never call them 'easy ponies' again!”

Applejack gave a snort and tossed her head. “Well, ain't y'all mighty fancy-schmancy? Bet ya think yer own cow pies don't stink. Ah've heard all th' arguin' yer kind can do but it don't mean nothin' ta me. Ah know the truth and that's what really matters. That's why ah'm here,” She said, waving the sign attached to her back for the cameras.

“Well I know the truth too!” Iron Will said, Loud enough for the television audience to hear, “Sure, it may not be what they like back in Hellas, but I don't live in Hellas now, I live here. And frankly, I like it better. Sure, I washed out in acting and motivational speaking but I found something I can do well and that's really what matters. I know those folks in there, and while I only know some of them to say hello to them at least they say hello back,” Iron Will slowly uncurled his fingers as the cameras pressed in closer.

“It don't matter none ta me! Sure, them folks in there can smile and laugh and say a fine 'howdy' in the mornin'. But tell them fine folks at home what ya do after all them smiles and 'howdies.' Ya put on yer costumes and run around in front of a camera with all yer bits wavin' around while some pre-vert tells ya ta do filthy things ta one another. Sick! It is wrong and immoral. It's like mah grampy Zeke says, an' granny agrees, 'Ain't no gal that was a whore/ Less'n she ain't behind a door.' Ya hide yer shame, ya don't parade it in front of a camera fer all creation ta see!” Applejack cried, looking pleadingly into the camera.

“There no shame in sex! It's just sex!” Iron Will bellowed in frustration.

“Oh, is that how it is? Ya gonna be out in the wide world doin' yer filthy things?” Applejack asked, angling towards the camera significantly.

“What? No! That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that this is a natural thing, and there's no reason to think it's sick and disgusting,” Iron Will said, much more calmly with the cameras in position.

“The only thing ya done that was natural was ta have all yer folks havin' all sorts of mixin'. But ya got unmarried folk carryin' on and all sorts-a weird orgies and it jes ain't right. But that ain't even the worst of it. Like ah been sayin' all mornin', 'Red Tape Prevents Rape!” Applejack chanted, stomping her hooves in time with her chants.

“What? That's not true! What does the porn industry have to do with rape? Everything in there is completely consensual,” Iron Will said.

“What about them Dog movies with that snooty unicorn?” Applejack countered, “y'all glorify the rapin'-a ponies fer dirty money!”

Iron Will had the answer to that, it had been drilled into all employees because there were several videos in that class. “For entertainment purposes only. The actions depicted are not real and an example of acting. They're not actually raping her.”

“It's bad enough yer makin' sport-a somethin' serious like rape, but that jes shows the moral weakness of the business. Not ta mention all the statistics that prove me right! Eighty percent of all rapists admit ta watchin' pornography,” Applejack said, “The other twenty percent are liars. And ah don't cotton ta no business that makes liars outta ponies.”

Iron Will blew a disbelieving puff through his lips and shook his head. “I think you might be overstating the case. Those numbers seem wrong. Besides, there are not a lot of rapists out there but there are a lot of consumers of porn. I bet a majority of rapists also eat apples. Should we try to ban apples as well?”

“You leave apples outta this!” Applejack shouted, “Apples never did no harm ta no pony! How many rapists were created by imitatin' the violent sexual acts they saw depicted in yer dirty movies?”

“That's like blaming the candy factory when you get cavities,” Iron Will said, “Where does parental responsibility come into play?”

“See, that there is the kinda flippant attitude these here porno folk give. They can't take anything serious and they prove it when they compare a trivial thing like cavities ta somethin' serious like rape. That's why folks like me and these fine mares an' stallions haveta be out here, ta show these here folks what real moral fiber is all about,” Applejack said, with a prideful sniff.

“Hey now, you're the one talking about rape. We're just in there doing a job, a very popular job. If we didn't make any money we'd have been long gone. You might be upset but the folks voting with their paychecks sure aren't. They want more,” Iron Will said, standing and posing for the camera.

Applejack snorted and waved her sign all the harder, to draw cameras to it. “Ya think that's a good thing? Yer a dern fool!” She stomped her hoof solidly and got practically against one camera. “Them porn producers are like drug dealers! They're out there preyin' on the weak-willed and addictin' them ta sleaze! They're spreadin' poison ta all our brothers... an' fathers an' cousins and all th' other ponies in this great, moral nation!”

“Comparing us to drug dealers now? You're sure not exaggerating any,” Iron Will said with a roll of his eyes. “We don't force anyone to buy this stuff, and we don't force anyone to make it. That's just the way it works. What's wrong with free enterprise?”

Applejack waved dismissively. “Folks, that's why ya can't trust them kinda folks. They ain't interested in yer morals 'r anythin' like that. They jes care 'bout putting money in their saddlebags. Can ya really trust anyone like that?”

The arguments went on for a time, overseen from afar by Spike. He had a checklist from Twilight detailing the plan to choke the studio out. He scratched out 'Media Circus.' He might even be able to skip a few of the steps to prime time. He was just as eager as Twilight to hurt the place. He'd make that dog pay, and he'd swoop in like the nice guy that he was to give Rarity some comfort and hot oil massaging.

Two days later the confrontation between Applejack and Iron Will made the midday news, after some blurbs on the morning news the day before. All the affiliates of the major stations were carrying it, as it was a good bit of drum-beating, and porn was always an easy sell to program directors.

Applejack's grandmother, just called Granny, watched with a certain amount of pleasure, perhaps more than was appropriate. She was holding herself up on her walker, leaning forward towards the old television set. “There's mah girl. Talkin' 'bout morals and all that. Ahh she's a good young mare.”

“That she is,” Said a voice from behind her. Under her tail crouched Zeke, the old zebra from beside the Apple property, who had recently move onto the homestead and become Grampy Zeke, much to the delight of all the grandchildren who were happy to have a grandfather again. His tongue had been engaged in gently stroking and massaging the old mare's vulva, carefully and lovingly working the slightly-loose folds and the unhooded clit. “You did a good job instilling values in that girl, and you should be proud, sugar.”

Granny pulled her smile even wider, sexually and emotionally stimulated by all the licking and praise. “Ya helped Zeke, with her an' her pappy...” She let out a little moan, hitting the power button on the remote attached to her walker and shutting off the television. She lifted her rear up a bit more, moving slowly thanks to her old bones and enjoyment of the licking as it was happening. “Ain't it somethin' none-a them came out with stripes?”

Zeke wiggled his tongue inside of the old mare, giving a heavy, wheezing laugh. “Can't get pregnant through your stomach, sug. I saved my love for when you were nice and round.”

“That ya did, Zeke. And ya was always so good helpin' ta care fer the young'uns. Gave me lotsa good cause ta come by an' no one could say 'boo' about it,” Granny said, leaning on her walker a bit more. “We had some good times, Zeke. Sorry we lost so many years sneakin' around...”

“I understand. You had your husband to think of...” Zeke softly brought a hoof up to tenderly massage the loose folds, licking at the stiff clit before him. “We got now. And you can be proud of the good parts of that marriage. Your kids and grandkids are more than enough to make up for that stallion you had.”

“Ah love ya, Zeke...” Granny sighed softly and rested her head against the upper bar of the walker. “Ah'm so glad Applejack was out there makin' me proud. Gotta support them morals an' rightness. Ya helped with that too. She's a good mare.”

Zeke stood up behind Granny, feeling her properly prepared. Though their respective genitals were older than the hills, they were not in any way diminished by time. His organ waved, black and shiny, nearly to his chest. He carefully leaped, planting his own hooves on the walker. His fat, blunt crown moved forward until it met with the prepared lips and slid in easily. The old folds seemed molded to the zebric tool. “Yup. Set on the straight and narrow path of righteousness.”

The Taming of the Screwed

Twilight tapped her hoof impatiently as she listened to the phone ring for an inordinately long amount of time. It didn't help she was out of her element, having ducked into a small office at Bare Mare Studios to use the telephone for a few official phone calls to beg for additional support for her new bill. It was bad enough having to use a potentially-contaminated phone, but when the calls were rebuffed or went unanswered...

“Hello-ooo! Oh... hello? Minister Blueblood speaking,” The voice on the other end of the phone seemed on the border between cultured and pleasure-intoxicated.

“Hello! Minister Blueblood? This is Twilight Sparkle. You remember me, right? Minister, I have a serious matter I need to discuss...” Twilight spoke quickly, relieved that she had finally found a politician who didn't immediately hang up on her.

“What's that? Twight Spackle? Is this an advertisement? I've specifically blocked ads from this number! This is a gross violation!” Blueblood spluttered, finishing with a low, soft moan.

“No! No! Minister Blueblood this is Twilight. Sparkle,” Twilight said, over-enunciating her name. “Princess Celestia's protege? The one who got all those other bills passed?”

“Oh yes! Yes yes... ahhh, the fussy one who had all of those rather meddlesome resolutions that failed. I would... enjoy talking to you but... ah! Ah but I... I am on my honeymoon, if you did not know,” Blueblood said, moans and panting passing heavily over Twilight's ear, as well as the sound of a muttering voice.

“Minister... am I on speakerphone? Are you... are you engaged in sexual congress?!” Twilight spluttered. It was like the very aura of the studio was infecting everything she did. It was especially egregious with Minister Blueblood. She had always known him as a sexless, dainty, dandy fop more interested in rose boutonnieres and stylish tuxedos than with dating. But then, she had been out of Canterlot for a long while. Since she did not peruse gossip rags She may have been out of the loop on certain things.

“I am on my honeymoon Miss Spackle! But I am not... not... not engaged in any such activity. I am merely... ahhh... having a... massage! Yes, a massage,” Blueblood asserted, a braying laugh ringing from somewhere in the background.

“Let's call it that. Is that the little pest that you told me about? The one that bothers you now and again?” The voice was very feminine, but strong and assured, completely unafraid of causing offense.

“She bothers me always, when she bothers, but she is mostly harmless,” Blueblood said, his tone more normal, though still with some panting in it. “Don't worry about it, dearest. Thorn in our side though she may be, it will be a minor issue. You took this upon yourself when you wed a government figure.”

“That I did, that I did,” The mystery voice said. After a moment of silence the voice said, “Well now, your 'massage' is completed. Thorough as you like and with all the right motions. But this marriage is an equal partnership. Now it's my turn to have affairs of state conducted within the oval oriface.”

“Minister...” Twilight did her best to keep her tone neutral. She was used to insults, but they were not often delivered right to her face. Though that may have been the issue. The insults were being delivered to a speakerphone, by ponies... or one pony and what sounded like a donkey on a honeymoon. Tact and focus were not likely to be concerns. “Minister please, this is a vitally important matter which requires your utmost attention...”

“I can assure you that the important matter of my vitality has already received the utmost attention,” Blueblood said, calmly, “And I am going to return the favor, with eager delight.”

“But..!” Twilight began.

“Miss Try Light,” Blueblood said, using a firmness of tone for which he was not normally known, “I have come through a period of agitation, aggravation and ultimately triumph. I realize that you shut yourself off from the concerns of others but I have earned this rest. As has my good lady wife. This was no small matter, and is a good story.”

“They say they're making a movie out of it once we pick a writer,” The voice in the background said with a chipper tone.

“But, Minister please...” Twilight said, gamely attempting to stop the derailment of her wheedling.

“At this moment the only vitally important matter that requires my utmost attention is my new bride's plea- I mean, my new bride's massage,” Blueblood said, voice getting softer as he stepped away from the phone. “I did not marry you, I did not promise anything to you, I owe you nothing but a simple statement of disinterest in your matter.”

“He's right, Miss... Sprinkle?” The donkey's voice was much closer. “He married me, he promised me his love, and he owes me-HAW!” Blueblood's wife let out a sudden bray of delight that caused Twilight to pull the phone away from her ear. A few breathy pants followed the exclamation of delight. “Oh. My. Word... he is a very talented masseuse. Please do not caaaall here again or I will have you... ohh my... arrested for... something. Please... have a nice day.” The phone clicked off, interrupting another bray.

“M-minister Blueblood? Minister Blueblood?” Twilight slammed the phone down with a throaty groan of consternation. “Pervert.” She crossed another name off of her list. “Great. I'm running low on names... I'll have to press the compliance and thicken the astroturf. That temporary requirement enhancement won't keep working forever. It's just a good thing Spike's a lot more interested in putting pressure on the studio.”

At that moment Spike was looking through an unoccupied studio, making notes about everything he could see and cursing the fact that everything seemed to be exactly up to spec. The room was vaguely familiar, or at least the stage was. It was set up like some kind of outdoor setting, with a large boulder. “Oh right, 'Banged in the Badlands 1-5.' Good times. Good times. All shot here and they still managed to make the scene look slightly different every time.”

“Oh dragon!” A familiar voice shouted out, from just on the other side of the rock. After a moment Rarity's head emerged, giving a bright, welcoming smile.

“L-lady Rarity! I mean, Rarity!” Spike adjusted his little brown suit and slicked back the fins on his head. “How is it going? Are you well?”

Rather than answering the question, she said, “Looky what we've got here.” She reached down behind the rock and pulled out Rex the Dig Dog.

“Hey, where the pony women at?” Rex said with a grin. He then fell to the floor in hysterics, joined by Rarity who was likewise laughing.

“R-rarity?” Spike looked on the scene with a sort of horror, tears at the corners of his eyes.

The supposed Rarity erupted in green fire, revealing a Changeling underneath, still laughing raucously at the reaction. “Sorry, dragon, your porn star is in another castle. Or, probably on an other set. The name's Madam Mimic. When Rex told me what was going on I couldn't help but give him a hoof. You sort of walked into it.”

Spike went from tears to rage in an instant, stomping a foot and sending out a stream of green fire. “That other Dog told you about it, didn't he, dirt-brain?”

“What if he did, sulfur-breath? You deserve it for that cheap trick you tried to pull on Miss Rarity. She can see through fake nice guys like you. She never even looked twice when ponies tried that crap with her after she made her choice about what species she liked best. Dragons impress her even less than stallions. Don't get so indignant, just stop trying to move in where you're not wanted,” Rex huffed.

“Seriously. You're just a great, big, lump-in-the-pants phony. And I'm a Changeling! When I call you a fake, you know it's legit,” Madam said, with a fang-filled grin.

“I'll find some violations somewhere. I'll catch you on it, call you out and I'll get you fined right up the ass for it, until this place is shut down!” Spike snorted again and stormed out of the studio, followed by the sounds of laughter. “They think they're so funny,” He muttered to himself, “But I know how it goes. Once the studio shuts down they'll just abandon her. They don't really love her. Alone, pregnant, seeing it was a lie. Then I can show her I really do care.”

Twilight was not having any more luck than Spike, following her disastrous calls for additional support. She still had political weight thanks to her previously-established connections and some of the limited successes she had had with prior bills, but just barely enough to get it all to a vote. Catching the studio napping, while making her look less impartial because of her presence, was her only hope of breezing it through. At least they weren't making a legal bother of it.

She consulted a provided studio map, with all the stages and miscellaneous areas clearly marked, and compared it against the master shooting schedule. The studio had never needed such a schedule before, at least not as anything more than a dry erase board. She felt a small pang of Schadenfreude to know she was causing them trouble, no matter how petty and picayune the difficulty was. It would all add up eventually.

Twilight was traveling with her bodyguard again, Rainbow Dash giving every appearance of being the perfect Mare in Black. “Need me to go in there with you, Miss Sparkle?” Dash asked.

“No. We are dealing with simple-minded smut-peddlers, not criminal masterminds. Their limited intellect might make them a potential threat but they are too weak and ineffectual to actually threaten me,” Twilight said with a derisive laugh. “But just in case... when I reach the room, stay outside and keep the door cracked. You never know what to expect when dealing with these chaotic troglodytes.”

Dash nodded and adjusted her reflective sunglasses. “Roger that, ma'am.”

Twilight and Dash picked their way through the seemingly-intentionally-confusing corridors until they reached the posted studio, Dash standing beside it as Twilight opened it and slipped inside. The wave of sound that passed over Twilight with the breaking of the soundproof seal was like cacophonous music to her ears. She heard an almost-unearthly symphony of many different tones of rubbed-rubber squeaking.

The scene was like some kind of ludicrous tableau. The generic bedroom stage contained three figures involved in the filming. The first was a pink pegasus mare in white stockings, a white garter belt and a filmy white veil, standing beside a carelessly tossed wedding dress; the second was a donkey jack, a deep, rich mahogany brown with his long mane flowing freely over his neck; the last was a green unicorn stallion, still dressed in a tuxedo shirt and bow tie, with his pants down.

The unicorn was furiously masturbating by slapping his dick on his belly and using magical strokes while wailing and sobbing. The jack was getting his cuckold bull on, dominantly topping the pegasus mare with many huge, proud brays as his condom-clad dick pounded into her fem-dom protected pussy. The jack threw his head with a smile, making his silky black mane wave for the camera. They all tried to be professional, and play their roles right, but all three winced with every harsh squeak, the cuckolded 'husband' looking on the verge of laughter in the middle of his shamed masturbation.

Off the stage all the technical personnel were wearing their biggest, most restrictive headphones and communicating via their two-ways and only when necessary, going on with their jobs as best as possible. It seemed to be working well but the sound engineers looked ready to cry tears of blood and vomit bile in rage. Hoity and Photo were also both on stage overseeing the production, without much passion for the job. Photo was covering her ears while her teeth ground so hard it looked as though she was trying to crush them. Hoity was not trying to shut out the hideous noise. He was holding his head in his hooves, slowly shaking his head in near-defeated misery. “By the sisters... is this a studio of artistic expression and lustful passion or a balloon factory?”

“Mister Toity! I must say that I am shocked and impressed,” Twilight said with a smug and smarmy tone, having to speak especially loudly to be heard over the squeaking of the condoms. “I honestly believed that you would uphold that much-vaunted 'artistic integrity' and break the regulations for the sake of appearances. But no! Here you are running this... I suppose it is an endorsement of adultery. That's lovely. I'm sure that information will go over well...”

“Please try to understand sexual fetishism,” Hoity said with a contemptuous huff. “You make yourself out to be a sexless, over-educated boor but surely even in your passionless life you learned about the nuances of sexuality. This is not so basely mere adultery. This is specifically modern cuckold. Can't you see the shamefully-overpowered and clearly-emasculated yet still masturbating husband? The wanton wife, enhanced by the trappings of a bride? The use of a donkey who is larger, stronger, more handsome, less restrained and far better hung than the husband? In appearance, in any event. The fellow is a professional and I can make camera angles do anything I desire. Does any of this come through that cranium of yours?”

Twilight snarled and angrily adjusted her glasses. “You think you're so smart? Fine, you know some casual slang.”

“Hardly slang, that's industry jargon, and then only those in the know use it correctly, it is all...” Hoity halted as the squeaking got to him. “Cut!” The noise mercifully ceased as the camera lights went dark and the actors all looked to him. “Take a break, this is... beyond impossible. We'll pick it up from this point later.”

“Great. I never even got to cum. Still, even in this stupid condom that was nice,” The donkey said in a deep, rich voice.

“Cry me a river. Normally I would've had three by now. Who invented this stupid thing anyhow?” The mare said, furiously frigging at her clit behind the rubber of the fem-dom.

Hoity sighed with relief, noting that Photo was looking not any less annoyed, likely thanks to the presence of Twilight. “As I was saying, Miss Sparkle, you lack the knowledge of any of this. The socio-sexual framework of this is basic. The husband's masculinity is shown to be insufficient and inferior to a male that is not only more powerful and sexually mighty but is an entirely different species. His wife has abandoned her own species, showing him to be inferior in every possible manner. And yet, he remains, denuded, humiliated, but aroused by the power he lacks. A real male is having his wife, and he cannot stop himself from admitting he loves it. How was that, Miss Sparkle? Did you understand any of that? Do you understand the difference?”

Twilight was actually stunned by the cogent explanation. “Don't talk to me like a foal! I am a government-backed academic and serious political mover and shaker, you are nothing but a pretentiously-affected pornographer masquerading as a genuine aesthete! I minored in sociology, I understand socio-sexual frameworks.” Being educated by her enemy. It was beyond galling. The tiny victory of earlier was dissolving into nothing. “You're nothing but a pretender!”

“Schweig!” Photo shouted, turning on Twilight with a sudden fury. “Du blöde Kuh! Du bist hier der Dorftrottel! You have no right to shpeak to him in thish manner!”

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight yelled, stepping back from Photo's angry shouting.

Dash burst into the room with a yell and a menacing spread of her wings. “Do it, kraut-sucker! Give me an excuse! I would love to unleash some of my military beatdown training all over that face of yours.”

Photo seethed lightly but backed away, brushing the front of her outfit. “I much prefer zwiebel kugel, but I think you will shtill mock my eating habitsh, contemptuoush brute.”

“I think we have figured one another out,” Hoity said, a slight smile on his face. “I am complying, you are annoying. All is right with the world.”

“Yea, all is right with the world,” Twilight said, with a sudden smile. “Ask your sound engineers how they feel about the rules. How is this protective measure working for you?”

“It is about as useful and effective as sunscreen under a new moon,” Hoity noted with a sudden sullenness. “I could not possibly imagine anything more worthless, pointless, useless... besides your own inimitable self, of course.”

Twilight huffed, waving off the insult with a haughty look. “Is that where you have gone now, Mister Aesthete? Foalish insults and hyperbole? Do not take too much pride in this, but I expected better out of you. Anypony that put on airs like you I thought would have some more class and quality. Clearly, my initial impression of you as nothing more than a creepy, drooling smutmonger was correct.”

“Believe what you will,” Hoity said with greater strength, “But I am only returning the level of contempt you have shown me. You treat us like foals and fools. If you think you've convinced us this farce has anything to do with safety you're sorely mistaken. This has everything to do with your ego.”

Twilight chuckled and gently elbowed Dash, who did not significantly react. “Did you hear that? 'My ego.' Isn't that ridiculous?”

“Yea, hilarious,” Dash said, stone-faced and nearly immobile.

“It is not, as you say, a base matter of 'ego' but rather a genuine, pure, sincere belief that the alteration of the mind is the most terrible crime that can be committed against any sensible being. Drugs, alcohol, and even explicit imagery. Especially explicit imagery. You think you are doing something innocuous, an artist with genitals and social positions. But your filthy images twist rational minds and warp otherwise normal folk into smut-minded fools that can't focus on anything serious or important. The only thing they see when they close their eyes to access those wondrous 'Little Gray Cells', as Nagatha Christie put it, is the perverse trash you put in there. You pollute minds and turn productive members of society into sex-crazed sleaze-zombies!” Twilight screamed, panting softly after her tirade.

“And that is the reality of it,” Hoity said, unimpressed by the burst of pique. “You don't care about safety. You're on some high-minded crusade for mental purity...”

“The mind is a wonderful thing when chaste,” Twilight stated, in her practiced tone.

“Yes...” Hoity pulled back a bit, looking a trifle disturbed. “But more than that, I think you are more concerned with power. The power to enforce your will. I am honestly amazed you waited this long to get to pornography if you hate it so much. Though on reflection, I suppose it is not so surprising. You went with the path of least resistance. Your 'Don't smoke that Joke' campaign was a hit, and you rode that wave all the way to some of the most stringent laws against drugs I think any nation has ever seen.”

“Control the language and you win the argument,” Twilight said smugly, “Nopony ever cared about mind-altering drugs when they were known by their scientific name, Toxicodendron derisivobum. Once we started referring to them by their slang name of, “Poison Joke,” ponies started to sit up and take notice.”

“Diabolical,” Hoity muttered.

“Thank you. Non-medical drugs and the improper use of prescription drugs posed serious risks to the nation, not to mention the minds of impressionable children,” Twilight said, taking a little curtsy.

“It wasn't meant as a compliment,” Hoity noted with contempt. “You thought you were invincible, striking down a broad target about which none would care, for fear of their jobs and reputations. Then your remarkable farce, that grand and glorious failure...”

“Don't you say it...” Twilight threatened. “You've tried my patience long enough. This inspection is over but the matter is far from done. Have you seen the picket line? Pure astroturf. I'm not a degree-holding PoliSci expert for nothing. I pushed the right buttons, beat the right drums and scared the right hayseeds to get their reactionary flanks outside to ruin you. Now they're in the media, continuing the artificially-inflated cycle of outrage. And then the bill will sweep through Parliament...”

“I very much doubt it,” Hoity interrupted. “We will raise objections to this industry-killing abomination, and make a fight of this. We will not let you treat us as you did alcohol!”

“I told you not to mention that!” Twilight shouted, stomping a hoof solidly. “While it may not have been my finest hour I still had support! Others believed in my ideas! And it worked! For a short time there was a Kingdom-wide ban on alcohol!”

“And how did prohibition work out for you, Miss Sparkle? Do you remember the almost apocalyptic wave of lawlessness and fear that ran through the land? If you ban porn, it'll be just like when you 'successfully' banned alcohol," Hoity said, "Those who want it bad enough are going to continue to use it."

"Is that a threat?" Twilight inquired, motioning slightly at Dash, "Are you conspiring to film illegal pornography?"

"No, no, no, don't think I will make your job quite that easy," Hoity said with a wry grin, "I'm saying that outlawing porn will simply send an entire legitimate industry underground. You can't eliminate vice with laws. All your law will accomplish is to turn honest adult film producers into criminals."

"I've learned my lesson since the prohibition debacle," Twilight asserted, "A total ban on alcohol was too much too soon. In order to affect lasting change, I need to slowly choke the industry. When government regulations make the porn industry unprofitable, it will wither on the vine.” Twilight grinned malevolently and fixed Hoity with a smug look. “Nothing personal.”

"Nothing but personal, you mean," Hoity retorted.

“Does that mean you're actually going to try and fight against the full implementation of my new regulations?” Twilight asked. “I thought you would try something less drastic like finding a new job.”

“I am afraid that we musht let you down, Frau Shparkle,” Photo interjected, coming up around Hoity, but stopping as Dash stepped in front of Twilight. “We will not let you deshtroy our dream... our indushtry. We work hard und give much to thish art we call erotic entertainment. No one, leasht of all a little schweinhund like you, will take away what we have built.”

“I share Miss Finish's passion for this art I have come to take on as my own, though I express it in much milder tones. I leave zeal to her, for she does it far better than I,” Hoity said, giving Photo an appreciative pat on the back. “The bottom line, and I know you paper-pushing types enjoy that sort of thing, is that we will not fall under your hoof without a fight. We will challenge every aspect of this gratuitous new code, and we will win.

Twilight smiled. "See you in court," She said. With a quick motion of her head to Dash she turned around and trotted out of the studio.

“And you'd better make sure it's in court, or else you get some of this.” Dash thumped one hoof against the other and gave a final, intimidating stare before following Twilight all the way out of the studio.

Hoity watched both malcontent mares leave, waiting for the door to close and the soundproofing to be set again before he slumped down and muttered, "That mare needs to get laid.”

“Oh, are you offering? Think it will help you jump to a new career?” Photo groused, slumping down by Hoity. “I hear political intrigue makesh shtrange bedfellowsh.” By that time the actors and technical folks had cleared out. The 'show' was over, so they went to find other ways of entertaining themselves. Photo shuffled closer to Hoity and said softly, “You know, I will not judge if you do. Shurvival brings no shame...”

“I would rather fornicate with an operating garbage disposal than stick my stallionhood in that egotistical mare. Her love of clear intellects is fine, but she takes the point too far, to say the least. No, no, you are quite stuck with me, Fraulein,” Hoity said with a smile, drawing Photo in for a powerful hug.

“Ach, Liebchen, not like thish,” Photo hissed, pulling away and glancing around. “There may be many eyesh to notice our actsh.”

“My apologies. That encounter has me in a state, as you may well imagine,” Hoity said, tapping a hoof against his chin. “It is clear now what we must do. If the esteemed Miss Sparkle wishes to bury us in red tape we have no choice but to respond. We shall drown her in blue paper.”

“You mean to bring legalities into our fight, beyond mere talk to the government moversh. You would crush her beneath the might of the law. I know what you intend. You mean to unleash Tartarush...” Photo said quietly.

Hoity nodded slowly. “It would appear that we have no choice in the matter. I am afraid it is time. We must engage... her. Get me the studio lawyer.” He sucked in a deep breath and trotted away from Photo. “Please inform her that I will be on my way to properly engage her and pass along the pertinent data.”

“Jawol, Herr Toity.” Photo watched Hoity go, not envying him his grim future task. She strolled over to the telephone in the studio, dialed the inside line and swallowed hard as she heard the other end ring. “Meine Prinzessinnen im Canterlot, forgive ush for what we musht do...”

Diamonds and Rust

A week after the hostile visit to Bare Mare Studios things had not changed very significantly in the life of Twilight and Spike. One unremarkable day was starting out in a relatively ordinary fashion. The two were having a late breakfast, Twilight with her sensible bran muffin, glass of orange juice and grapefruit half, Spike with his bowl of variously-colored rock candies pressed in the shape of different formal gem cuts.

“How can you eat that kind of overly-processed trash?” Twilight asked, slowly cutting her muffin in half and spreading a bit of butter on the warm interior surface.

“Well, they look exactly like gems, which you know I love to eat,” Spike said, a bit lamely, “And sugar sets up in a... crystalline lattice... or whatever it is you call it. So they're technically gems. Besides, I love the prize in the box.” He pulled the box of 'Dragon Hoard' cereal to him and dug around inside it for a moment. He pulled out a moderately-sized plastic figure, an elaborately-dressed pony mare with a horn and wings. “Sweet! I got the Distressed Damsel Princess! Now all I need is the Barbecued Knight in Shining Armor and my collection is complete.”

“At least your childish diversions are harmless,” Twilight noted, dryly, taking a bite of half of her muffin. At that moment there was a knock at the office door. “Go see who it is, Spike,” She said after swallowing.

Spike looked over in surprise. He had been distracted by the plastic pony princess and had been slowly sliding her down his body. “What? Right! The door...” He set down the toy and wandered over to the door. “Who is it?”

“Land Shark,” Came the reply from the other side of the door, the voice feminine but somewhat husky.

“Wh-what? What did you say?” Spike pressed up against the door to make sure he was hearing right.

“Land Shark!” The voice said again. Spike braced himself against the door in a chivalrous effort to protect Twilight.

“T-twilight, jump out the window!” Spike shouted, while pointing towards the window, “Land Shark at the door!”

“'Land Shark'? How unusual,” Twilight said calmly as she strolled over, holding her muffin halves in her magical grip.

“And to think I used to be worried about zombie ponies!” Spike said with a shiver, “I didn't know there were things like Land Sharks running around, except that cartoon about the sharks on the street.”

“Don't be silly, there's no such thing as a Land Shark,” Twilight said, opening the door.

On the other side there stood a cross-eyed gray pegasus mare, wearing a giant shark head, her face peering out from between the teeth. “Land Shark Express Delivery Company! I have a letter for Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight glared down at Spike who sheepishly looked away and kicked at the floor with his foot. “I am Twilight Sparkle. What do you have?”

“Super-express next day delivery,” The delivery mare said, pulling a blue paper out of her saddlebag and passing it along.

“A motion. I am not surprised,” Twilight said, opening the paper and starting to close the door.

“Wait!” The pegasus pulled out another folded blue paper and passed it along.

“They certainly do not waste time...” Twilight began.

“And these,” The pegasus said, passing a stack of blue papers from the other side of her bag.

“Th-this seems a bit excessive...” Twilight said, looking over the pile.

“And these came along too,” The mare pushed a tall stack of folders to Twilight.

Twilight opened up one folder and read over it. “Amicus briefs? Quite a few of them. This one is from... the Surgeon General? Buck my li-”

“And these!” The pegasus showed off a few carts of standard file boxes being dropped in front of the office. All the boxes had dates on them and were labeled, 'Exhibit copies- Discovery.'

Twilight stood there almost in awe, marveling at the volume of things being dropped off. “Spike,” She said absently, “Get to work bringing those in and cataloging everything.”

“Aww Twilight, my toy... I mean, my cereal is getting soggy...” He began.

Without hesitation, Twilight sent out a chastening zap, sending the tazed Spike running off to bear the boxes in one-by-one. “So... this is what stands behind an artist... an army of legal mercenaries. I can only imagine how many lawyers needed to work on this...”

“Sign here!” The delivery mare shoved a clipboard under Twilight's snout, along with a pen. After Twilight had signed the paper she pulled it back and placed it in her saddlebags. She came away holding the un-bitten muffin half. After taking a bite she smiled brightly. “Muffin-based tips gleefully accepted! Remember Land Shark Express Delivery Company for all your super-express delivery needs, including all your valuable legal documents! All delivery ponies licensed and bonded. Have a fin-tastic day!” With that the mare zipped off, the empty carts taken away by the other delivery personnel.

Twilight stood in the midst of it all, taking in the magnitude of what she had unleashed upon herself. It was as though the universe was mocking her. Her victories were significant, no doubt. She was crippling the studio by taking away the spontaneity of the scenes and inflicting the rubber-on-rubber squeaking into the production. They could not live on their oral and toy scenes. They would need genital contact in order to keep an audience's attention.

She lifted up several of the boxes and brought them inside, stacking them with the others that Spike had brought in. Flipping through the blue papers she found several that showed significant objections to the proposed law on numerous grounds, including restraint of trade. “They want to go all the way with this...” She muttered.

“What was that?” Spike asked as he bore in one of the last boxes.

“Spike, I'll need you to take a letter and send it to Princess Celestia, to get us on the court calendar, the big one, no substitutions. Then you'll have to go to that studio once you get a reply and take them the official court date,” Twilight brought in the last of the boxes and shut the door. “I'll take the home court advantage and pull strings until they break. Just remember to keep the cameras on and the anti-porn brigade chanting. So far everything on my checklist is going according to plan...” She looked around again at all the things she would have to read and catalog. “Mostly...”

Spike hit his belly and let out a belch, acrid green smoke puffing out, but nothing more, which suited him just fine. It beat the heavy flurry of back-and-forth messages. The outgoing messages were fine, of course but the volume of the incoming ones really made him long for that day he accidentally poured the ghost pepper sauce over a giant burrito. He had assumed dragons were entirely immune to pain but that had been a wake-up call.

After completing Twilight's task, Spike was back at the studios again. He was used to the jaunt from the office to the place. It hardly fazed him anymore. He stepped up to the front desk and thumped it solidly. “Hey, can you tell me where Hoity Toity is? I have important papers for him,” Spike said, giving the mare behind the desk a semi-perverse look.

“Let me get him for you,” The cream-colored mare named Opal said. “Beryl, what's Hoity doing today?” Opal asked to the other mare behind her at the front desk.

“He's filming, or trying to anyhow,” Beryl replied, making Spike smile wider. “He's probably given up and gone to salon three.”

“I'll call him and inform him you will be arriving, so he stays put. It will make you leave faster,” Opal said with some bitterness. She picked up her phone with magic and dialed an internal number. “Yes, Mister Toity? That dragon is here again. Claims to have papers for you. I'm sending him to you. Right, very good.” She hung up and gave Spike a studio map. “Just in case you don't have your boss's blueprint of the studio. She probably doesn't trust you with it.”

Spike snatched the map with a derisive snort and unfolded it. “I just didn't take it from the office. It's not that Twilight doesn't trust me...”

Opal opened one of the doors from the lobby. “Then follow the map through there.”

“I know where I'm going,” Spike asserted, striking a confident pose. “I'm quite a navigator.” With that he strolled through the door and down the corridor.

He had to consult his map as soon as he had closed the door. He would never give those unicorns the satisfaction of looking like they were right but the place had the worst layout possible for a building. His focus on the map blocked his view of the walls for the first part of his trip. That wasn't usually a problem, as they tended to be nature scenes over sayings by that minotaur that worked there, or the odd video cover.

The posters along the wall were all video covers. More to the point, they were all video covers featuring Rarity. Her whole post-pony career was represented, from her Hearth's Warming production 'Dog-Pounding Princess Platinum' to the only know movie featuring bondage with leashes still attached to other collars 'Screwed by the Pooches.' 'Whore, Mine and Hours.' 'Kennel Club.' 'Buried Bones' one through twelve. 'Two in a Tunnel.' They all passed by his eyes, reminding him of his long night of watching Rarity's video violations and being unable to stroke it because of the presence of his puritanical boss.

The familiar stirring awoke in his loins, a warmth rising in his trembling hips as he walked down the halls. It could have been a coincidence. Besides Fluttershy the Virtual Virgin, Rarity the Dog-Packed Damsel was the studio's biggest name. Of course they would proudly display her successes. That thought held for a while. Until he noticed that his very specific path was all Rarity. It had to have been intentional.

Spike ground his teeth and tried to put all his focus into the map. The map was everything. The universe was the map and the map was the universe. Then one stray bit of peripheral vision caught a milk-white thigh spread around a letter in the title. 'I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is...' His pants tightened more as the lump at the front strained the material even more. 'Buck it all to Tartarus, I know what that is. Map, map, map...

After walking the gauntlet of posters that unlocked every perverted sexual moment associated with the titles and images shown he arrived at the door to salon three, helpfully marked, 'Salon 3.' By that point, Spike's trousers were baring concealing his raging erection. “Finally. I never really had to think about that Hoity Toity guy but dude he needs to hang out in easier-to-find places.” He turned the handle and held up the paper. “I have a subpoena and I'm here to serve you...”

The door opened into an open, square room, tastefully decorated with reproductions of antique furniture and lots of lace, giving it the atmosphere of a classy receiving room. There was even music being piped in, a string quartet. It was just another sign that Hoity gave his actors only the best. However, the stallion himself was not present. Instead the room was occupied by a pack of Diamond Dogs. In fact it was all of the ones that worked at the studio, lounging about on the many couches and overstuffed chairs, reading books or magazines or chatting. The eight canid creatures were a small sampling of the Diamond Dog types, Butch being the sole example of the medium pointed-ear type, Rex being just one of the four Dig Dogs, the others being various shades of sandy yellow. There was also one of the smaller semi-flop-eared type, with a black coat, and two of the long, lanky, floppy-eared types, one of them with a reddish coat.

Butch perked his ears on hearing Spike's lead-in line and, on noticing his rather tented trousers, turned to the other Dogs with a grin. “That's the most sub-par subpoena I've ever seen. But if you want to serve us it would be rude to say no. Anyone here call for a fluffer?”

Amidst all the laughter and pointing one of the other Dig Dogs said, “Not me! Whenever I see Miss Rarity, I give her something she could hang her towels on!” He thrust his loincloth-covered hips forward and barked for emphasis.

The black-furred Dog got on the phone, dialing an internal number. “Hey, Opal? Yes, he did just show up. Yea, there's still some laughing. Thanks for the help. Hoof-bump Beryl for me. Thanks.”

Spike was too shocked to be upset. He just fell into an annoyed scowl and huffed out some green smoke. “Where is Mister Toity? I have legal papers for him.”

“He's in studio six, setting up for our filming later on today. If you rush you can catch him before we get on the stage and start... well, you can guess why they need us on a stage,” Rex said, ending with a laugh that was soon echoed by the rest of the Dogs.

Spike flipped off the Dogs with both hands and, as an afterthought, stuck out his ridiculously long tongue, waving it around in the air and showing off a great deal of lingual dexterity. After making his tongue dance and twist around he sucked it back into his mouth, giving a smug smile. “Jealous?”

While most of the Dogs were surprised by the act Butch waved the display off. “Sorry. We're all straight and your tish-tickling tongue didn't convince us to change teams.”

The Dogs all broke into raucous laughter as Spike stomped off, muttering angrily. “Lousy, slobbering, gem-stealing ass-sniffers... and those mares at the front... they planned this together! I can't believe this.” He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran rather unceremoniously into a figure walking much more slowly than him. “Hey! Watch where you're-”

“What?! Oh my dear! I am terribly sorry!” The stricken figure turned to reveal that it was Rarity. She was attired in an elaborate dress, primarily pink with yellow sashes on the bell portion hung with gems. On her head rested a modest gold tiara. The bell very nicely hid her pregnant belly. “I did not even know you were there! I am afraid I must walk a bit slowly to keep my attire looking proper. The cost of fabulosity, I'm afraid.”

“O-oh! Rarity! I'm sorry. I should have looked where I was going,” Spike said, running a hand over his head spines, falling into step beside Rarity. “I was, uh, actually looking for Mister Toity but... uh, I'd much rather be with you.”

“Goodness... that is quite flattering of you to say. You have most excellent luck, I am on my way to meet him on stage to... attempt... a filming. Since the pressure increased upon us filming has been a difficult proposition, at best,” Rarity said with a downward tilt of her head. “But we press on. This is not only our livelihood, this is our art. Our raison d'être as it were. I feel for Mister Toity, I truly do. As an artist myself I cannot help but empathize with his plight. This disaster affects us all...”

“Yea, that's... unfortunate...” Spike looked down at the ground, feeling a bit chastened. “But, you know... regulations and the sort...” Whatever he felt for the Dogs, and however he wanted Rarity to get out of her job, it was honestly hurting him to see her so distraught. But it was necessary. She would have to be weaned off of it. He'd comfort her and give her something to do with herself after her retirement.

Rarity looked aside at him and smiled. “You know... I never did ask your name. I have been so busy lately...”

Spike snapped his lapels and took on a sudden happy appearance. “Spike the dragon! Sorry it took so long to tell you but I guess we've both been kind of busy.”

“Indeed. But such is life. It is something of a pleasure to meet you, Spike. You are quite pleasant, in contrast to your employer. Oh! Not that I mean to be unkind...” Rarity said, with a blush.

“No, it's alright,” Spike said with a light laugh, “She's hard to take, but she's good at her job.”

“Sounds like some of my costars.” Rarity said with a giggle as Spike's face fell.

They walked on in silence to the studio, which was like all the rest save for the shooting stage. That was set up to resemble the bright, open front room of a mansion, with white couches and plenty of pillows around. Aside from the usual technical ponies wandering around, Hoity and Photo were looking over the script while Fluttershy and Iron Will were sitting in folding chairs, talking quietly to one another and occasionally rubbing muzzles. Both Iron Will and Fluttershy were wearing matching earmuffs, the ear portions of puffy white faux fur with rabbit ears coming out of the tops, a rather annoyed rabbit face on the round portions themselves.

“Miss Rarity, so glad you have arrived, we can begin setting up the opening shots for...” Hoity turned from the script, tone mild and almost exhausted before he set eyes on Spike. “You! So, your scheming Malvolia has decided to send a lackey in her place. Did she lose her stomach for observing our work?”

“No, she's busy with that mountain of documents your army of lawyers sent to us,” Spike said, trying not to answer the anger in front of Rarity. He strode up to Hoity and handed off his papers. “You're served. There's the trial date and information.”

“Yes, it was an army of lawyers, wasn't it, Miss Finish?” Hoity said, with a slight turn of his head towards Photo.

“Ja, ja Herr Toity. Eine große Armee,” Photo said, nodding her head quickly and smiling at Hoity.

“A large army indeed...” Hoity took a look at the paper, a look of surprising passing briefly over his face. “So... we warrant the Grand Court, do we? How complimentary.” He folded the paper and tucked it into his pocket. “Very well, you have discharged your subpoena. You may go now.”

“Mister Toity,” Fluttershy said, softly, “Maybe we should let him stay. This is part of his job and his boss might want him to observe. Besides, he seems nice.”

“Yea. Compared to Miss Sparkle he's not so bad,” Iron Will said, nodding sagely. “But that's not saying much. Compared to Miss Sparkle, a hot sauce enema's not so bad.”

“Indeed! Having spoken to him as I was coming he was gallant enough to walk with me and open enough to admit even he found his employer hard to take,” Rarity said.

“What harm could It do? You did seem far more appreciative of our activities than your employer. I believe you have the capacity for fairness and impartiality which that mare lacks,” Hoity tapped his chin and gave a small wave to Spike. “Very well, find yourself an unobtrusive vantage point and please try to avoid interfering with the technical employees.

Spike somewhat-reluctantly shuffled off to the side, stationing himself behind a convenient crate. He was out of the way and very had to spot. “No problem. I'm just here to observe. Your business is none of my business, except as a consumer.”

Hoity smiled and looked to the clock on the wall. “The time is nearly upon us. Let us... well, we will do as best we can.”

“I know you'll do great, Rarity,” Fluttershy said, smiling brightly at her friend.

“Don't be afraid, just get yourself laid!” Iron Will bellowed, giving a thumbs up.

Rarity sashayed onto the set and posed a few time for the cameras. “How do I look, Mister Toity? Perfect as ever?”

Hoity looked though the camera lens and nodded to the camera pony that had stepped to the side. “Perfect! Once the others have arrived we can begin. Please just remember the new dialogue that is... necessitated by the situation in which we find ourselves.”

The crew did not have long to wait before the whole company of Diamond Dogs arrived, outfitted in outrageous attire, consisting primarily of distressed denim vests in a variety of colors, tank tops, bandanas on their heads as a cover of headband, costume jewelry necklaces with showy pendants and fake gold rings. “Let's get it started!” Butch shouted, causing the other Dogs to let out lout, powerful howls.

“Very good,” Hoity said, pointing to the various technical folks. “Let us make the effort, fillies and gentlecolts. 'Lady and the Tramps' filming, lights, camera... Princesses help us... action!”

Rarity started to sashay grandly around the set, fluffing pillows and humming pleasantly to herself. “This will be a grand gathering, indeed! Ah, the Grand Galloping Gala will only aspire to such wonder. Only the finest of ponies in all of Equestria shall be here, and I, Lady Gemsworth, shall be hailed as the grandest hostess in the nation.” A sound effect played from off the set of a doorbell ringing. “Ah, perfect! Here are my esteemed guests.” She lit her horn, to give the impression that she was opening doors and turned away form the direction of the door. “Please, please come in.”

The pack of Dogs strode into the camera's sight, laughing and chattering with one another. “Holy bitch tits that actually worked!” Butch exclaimed, turning to look at the camera in disbelief. “I told you guys!”

Rarity whipped around and gave a loud gasp, backing into a couch and falling onto it. “Oh my word! You! You smelly, perverse, ghetto-dwelling Dogs! How dare you? I told you I never wished to see you again! Now go! I am having company, important company! Leave me now!”

Butch pointed at Rarity and let out a powerful laugh. “Listen to this mare. All we did was shake our sticks at her and she's all offended. How about now that you're not in your big, fancy carriage? Is it still offensive?” Butch moved his loin cloth from his crotch and used his free paw to grab his limp pecker and wave it violently at Rarity. The motion was mirrored by the other seven Dogs, a sea of floppy cocks suddenly facing the scandalized rich mare.

“G-goodness! How... obscene! Vulgar! Disgusting! S-stop it immediately!” Rarity turned her head away and lifted a hoof to hide her face. The camera caught sight of one eager eye opening to cast about over the waving ocean of choads.

“Yea, you tell 'em, Rarity,” Spike muttered softly, alternately looking at Rarity with concern and the Dogs with contempt.

“Aww, come on, you're missing the best parts, when we start getting hard,” Butch insisted.

“Maybe it would be easier to rise to the occasion if we stripped her!” The small, black-furred one said, stepping cautiously closer.

“Ha! Fuck yea!” Butch reached forward and took hold of the beautiful dress with both paws. He made a great show of exerting strength, muscles bulging theatrically as he pulled the velcro seams apart, cleanly stripping the screaming Rarity and revealing her huge, near-term belly for the cameras and all the Dogs. A wave of pride washed over the gathered pack before Butch whistled. “Look at that! Somebody already knocked this dam up!”

“Rarity...” Spike whispered, ducking further behind the crate, one hand beside his face as he watched the violent stripping, the other firmly down the front of his pants, massaging his sudden erection. Whatever was happening to her, she was still there, naked and lewdly spread before his eyes.

Rarity's scream continued, the pitch changing slightly, losing some shrillness after the Dogs began to wince. Her attempts to escape the striping grasp left her settled well up on the pillow-bedecked couch, legs spread out blatantly, showing her vagina, milk-heavy teats and an even greater view of her huge, taut belly. “No! Help me! P-please somepony help me! Somepony save me! You won't get away with this, you... you brutes!”

“Oh, I think we will,” Rex said breezily, throwing a purple ascot on the ground in front of the couch.

“M-my husband's ascot! What have you vile creatures done to him?!” Rarity stared down in disbelief at the piece of cloth.

“We tied him up in that guest house of yours with the rest of your servants. No one to interrupt us now...” Butch asserted, strolling forward and pumping his swiftly-stiffening shaft. Right behind him the others pressed in, similarly growing erect.

“O-oh my... did you... did you do him harm...” Rarity asked with a tremble. She gasped and gaped at the dogs. “Did you ki-”

“What? No!” One of the Dig Dogs said, shaking his head. “We're thugs, not murderers. But, uh, he ain't so pretty no more, not after we got done with him. He's gonna have a headache when he gets up, and it'll get worse when he finds his wife covered in our jizz.”

“Nnngh... Rarity... I... wish I could help you... Save you from... rrrgh... their smelly cocks...” Spike's eyes were half-lidded, just slightly shiny. His tears came from having to see Rarity under attack by brutish Dogs, and from his straining effort to not simply stroke himself as fast as possible. He worked his own rigid member, base to tip and back again, smearing his own preseed to lubricate the activity. He should have been saving her. But he wanted to see her, in all her sexualized glory. He wanted her, but he wanted to enjoy his pleasure, with her legs spread out and pussy pounded for him, like in the other movies.

There was a bit of fumbling and an interruption in the ranks of the pack. All of them had just opened condom packages and were carefully rolling them down their erections, making certain they fit properly and were not being pulled too tightly, risking a tear. Butch slid his own on, then opened up a second package, a fem-dom. The rubber sheath hung limply in his paw, all the dogs and Rarity breaking character by looking at it with a sidelong glance. “Uh, and we need to... protect ourselves... from the... fancy pony diseases she has, being a high class whore like she is...”

“That is... absurd,” Rarity said, in a stilted yet indignant tone, “I am a faithful pony, loyal to my pony husband and have no diseases.” She spread her legs a little more, to give a better view of her vulva.

“I don't believe you. So I'll just...” Butch inserted a finger into the fem-dom, plunging it into Rarity and wiggling it around, making sure that it was securely settled. He even let the wiggling and thrusting go on for a while, so he could grind his finger joint through the rubber and against her clit.

Rarity's head went back a little bit, a soft moan pouring out of her lips. “Ooooh you... you brute... Forcing me to... put in this thing... it... demeans me...” Her objections were silenced by Butch looming over her and sliding his rubber-wrapped rod into her protected pussy. The squeal of rubber-on-rubber rang around the room, Iron Will and Fluttershy both pressing their earmuffs tighter against their heads.

Spike didn't even notice the squeaking. He had shut out the world, save for the tunnel-vision image of those strong Dog hips driving a fat dong into Rarity. He hated that that was what she did, no matter her artistic excuses. But... she was so sexy. So beautiful. Fantastic. Wonderful. She looked good and natural there. Like she had looked on the screen. His hand gripped his dick more firmly and stroked the slimy flesh with increased speed, as more precum smeared all over his shaft. 'He's fucking her. He's fucking her. He's fucking her.' His hips twitched, teeth grinding. A proxy. A mere surrogate. I'm fucking her,' he thought, starting to thrust his hips in time with Butch's thrusts.

It was... horrid, yet exhilarating. Spike was so into it he almost didn't care there was anyone else there, not that they were paying him any mind. He might as well have been absent, which suited him well enough. The thrusts, the shaking of her head, the pushing forward despite it. She was fighting, to a degree, trying to push away. But there was no stopping, no denying, only the hard usage of that spread and rubber-protected passage. She needed a firm lover, and she would get it when he was on her.

“Stop! Stop raping me, it hurts!” Rarity finally cried out a coherent line, rather than the inarticulate gibbers and whimpers. Spike felt a pang of shame and regret. He didn't want to rape her... he didn't! But to dominate her was something else, and it was happening...

“Cut!” Hoity shouted suddenly, rubbing at his head softly. “Cut, cut, cut! That was horrifying!”

Rarity looked over to Hoity with some small bit of annoyance. “It was no more horrifying than any other squeaking bit of sex. Now...” She tried to move from her position but remembered she was still impaled. “Oh, Butch darling, please be a dear and pull out and then remove this ridiculous rubber device.”

Butch pulled his hips back slowly, dragging his lubricated condom against the similarly-greased fem-dom, producing a long, harsh balloon-rubbing squeak. Once he was out, rather than pulling off his own rubber, as all the other Dogs had done after the cutting of the camera, he pulled out Rarity's fem-dom. “There you are.”

“Ah, thank you, darling,” Rarity said, giving Butch a kiss on the cheek before she rolled off the couch and onto her hooves.”

Spike grunted softly, his sexual fantasy and unity with the live sex of the object of his affection breaking when she saw her kiss one of the dogs he despised. “What? No... no... they were lying...” He mumbled to himself, losing his erection rapidly, having not gotten to orgasm. He wiped his hand on the inside of his pants and stood up a bit taller, to watch the scene unfold. Once his member had returned to a completely flaccid state, Spike unceremoniously stuffed it back into his pants and zipped up his fly. His balls weren't the only things left blue. As he watched the Diamond Dogs fawn over Rarity and her return their affections, Spike felt himself becoming more depressed.

“It is not merely that accursed squealing. It is this whole scene. As written, brilliant! As re-written, monstrous,” Hoity said with a shake of his head. “It is wholly unbelievable. The very idea, that street-dwelling thugs would carry around condoms and be afraid of a rich mare's potential infections. And surely they would not bother to add a fem-dom. This increased restriction is making artistry burdensome indeed.”

“Oh yes... yes...” Rarity looked contemplatively down. She then gently patted Butch's paw and gave him a wink. “You know, Mister Toity... they say that should life give one lemons, one ought to make lemonade. Certainly, this whole, dreary business with these prophylactics have hindered most conventional productions, as we do. There is one option to consider.” Rarity pointed over at Fluttershy and Iron Will, who were removing their earmuffs. “As my esteemed colleague Fluttershy and her charming bovine paramour have proven, pro-positive productions may be profitable. Why... we could do a scene of consenting lovemaking! Perhaps... a mare from the upper crust falls madly in love with a dog from the streets? Yes! A beautiful tale!”

Hoity tapped his chin softly as the idea percolated in his head. “We have never done such a thing before. Our current stock is not suffering and we do well but... there may be cause for this sort of change given our altered fortunes...” He mused.

“Nein, I object shtrongly to the idea!” Photo shouted, firmly shaking her head.

“Come now, Miss Finish, do try to consider new potentials. We do not make great art without daring to try. You have always understood that,” Hoity said.

“I know art, und I know accounting. In thish time of reshtriction und privation we musht not alienate our audience. They have their tashte, und have told ush what that ish. It doesh not involve Dogsh behaving like poniesh,” Photo said, turning on the Dogs and pointing firmly. “You are the props that they want, dildosh with legsh to give every appearance of giving Rarity what she doesh not want! You are not beloved, she ish!”

“Yea!” Spike cried out, making every head turn to look at him partially behind the crate. “No one likes you! All you do is poach gems from dragon hoards or steal them out of dragon mining plots! And you're always dirty. At least we dragons have hot springs and lava pools to get clean.” In response, all the Diamond Dogs flipped off Spike in unison.

“The unrelenting bureaucrat bringsh a different take but he ish no lessh correct! You have no cachet with the audience. We would make nothing if we tried to make you clean-cut model citizensh. Now return your condomsh to place und pretend to rape Fraulein Rarity in all your shavage, Doggish waysh!”

Rarity had been silently taking in all the statements, her face set in a carefully neutral mask that was cracking at the edges, the occasional downward flick of the corners of her mouth or furrow of her brows giving sign of her true feeling. After Photo's unkind command Rarity turned on Spike and huffed, “I thought better of you, dragon.” Spike felt his heart break. Rarity's disapproval may as well have been a slap in the face. She then pointed at Photo. “Miss Finish! I simply can't work under these conditions. If you please I wish to speak with you privately in your office! It is most vital.” Without further comment she turned from all and made her way out of the studio, leaving all present nonplussed.

Photo stormed into her office a short time later, having stomped all the way there. She found Rarity there, sitting in front of her desk, snout in the air, looking eyes closed. Photo stalked around to the other side of the desk, siting up the rather haughty-looking Rarity. The room was deathly silent, save for the perfectly-synchronized ticking of Photo's vast collection of clocks, including several antique cuckoo clocks.

Photo was the one to break the stalemate, leaning forward slightly and asking, in a cold voice, “Do you have a comment on my methodsh?”

“The Dogs. My Dogs. My precious costars,” Rarity said, slowly lowering her head and opening her eyes, giving Photo an uncharacteristically hard and unforgiving stare.

“Und... what do you have to shay about them? You have some complaint?” Photo asked, tone even but slightly offended.

"You're so thoughtless," Rarity said, frowning, "You treat them more like fuckable furniture."

"Well, how would you have me treat them?" Photo Finish asked, tilting her head.

"Like the actors they were born to be," Rarity said, "These are gifted souls. I know they can do more than grunt and cum on command. Diamond dogs are sensitive and caring lovers. I have long known this. I think all Equestria deserves to know it."

Photo Finish laughed mirthlessly and waved it off with a huff. "Ach, ridiculous," Photo Finish said, "I could go out to the cavesh und bring back a whole new pack of Dogsh to schtup you with. There would be no difference, they would perform the actsh und no pony would know we had changed a thing."

"But they deserve better than this," Rarity said, "It is always the same demeaning role every picture. Diamond Dogs don't engage in the sort of savage, primitive rape orgies like the ones in our movies. They are civilized creatures and very developed in their subterranean homes. I should know; I have been there many times."

"It'sh creative freedom," Photo Finish said, "Beshides darling, why do you worry sho much about the caninesh? You are the real shtar of the picture!"

“They are as much the stars as me!” Rarity shouted, rising suddenly and placing her hooves on the desk. “They work as hard as I do. Harder! They must exhaust themselves sexually for my pleasure and for their art! And how they suffer... you think it is difficult for me to act contemptuously towards them? How much more it is for them, to look down on me, spit in my face or call me names that would never pass their lips. They know their art but their souls are loving and kind.”

Photo leaned back on the cushion behind her desk, a smile on her face. “The customer ish right, und that ish reality. They do not think Diamond Dogsh can act und frankly, I queshtion their capability to do anything more complicated than the rolesh we have done.”

Rarity stood stock still, teetering between anger and sorrow. She took a deep breath and released it with a calming motion of her hooves. “You have always claimed to have faith in your stars, myself included. If you have such faith in my abilities you would take a chance on letting them act.” She looked to the door but remained seated. “Since you're too much of a coward to take that risk you leave me no choice but to take my leave of this place.”

Photo seethed slightly but attempted to remain just as calm. “Fraulein... I know you are angry right now. But think of your career, your fansh, your future. Und please think of all of ush, the shtudio, the fate of porn in the nation! We musht be shtrong und united for the trial if we are to shurvive. There is no shame in shurvival.”

“I don't care,” Rarity said calmly, having to take a moment to make herself believe that. “I don't care anymore. I... I'm leaving here. I don't care about your solidarity or the audience's petty bigotry. I know what really matters in this life, what is truly important...” She rubbed slowly at her heavy belly. Weeks, at most, before she could see the pup growing within. “I shall go and say my goodbyes. I hope you can bear the loss of those eight sweet souls. The public thinks little of their emotions but I know they will follow me as I leave.” With a final sniff Rarity slowly trotted out of the office. To express some measure of her anger she used her magic to slam the door, inadvertently setting off several of the cuckoo clocks and creating a chorus of mechanical cuckoos.

“Wait! Fraulein...” Photo thumped a hoof down on her desk, growling softly. “How dare she..?” She looked down at her desk, filled with schedules, promotional materials and other such bits. Titles that Rarity had been in seemed to leap out at her eyes, as did photos of a swooning or disgusted Rarity with leering Dogs.

Photo remembered the times she had seen Rarity off of the set. She was all smiles and light in the arms of the big, friendly Dogs that often pressed in around her. The kind kisses that pressed on Rarity's cheeks and neck filled Photo's mind. The warm massages Photo had seen them give, with warm oil rubs besides. They had done all they could, like fawning unpopular students following a cheerleader. But unlike such folk, Rarity cared.

A slight move of Photo's hoof on the desk revealed the hardest movie they had ever made. 'Doggy Dominion.' A dark dystopian vision of a Dog-run society. Other mares had featured in it, but Rarity had been the main attraction. She played the pony leader, and so was subjected to much 'activity.' They had not used any actual sadistic touches, like the quasi-legal underground pornography that pushed boundaries. There had been much post-production work and a lot of tricky camera angles, especially for the usage of toys that were so large as to be comical. But there had been an incident. During an alleged 'interrogation' scene when pulled punches were brought against her (later enhanced with sound effects) one Dog had miscalculated a swing while she was in motion and had actually landed a firm blow. Despite the pain, she had been a professional and completed the scene. She had come out of the ordeal in no state to work, and every Dog had felt guilty.

The talk at the studio had involved Dogs constantly at her apartment, rubbing unguents on her sore parts, helping her move around, even making breakfast in bed. She had come back stronger than ever before, and far more enthusiastic. They never did another production like that, it had been enough to have one.

Photo looked at the clocks on the walls. Normally they were in perfect synch. But Rarity's parting outburst had knocked several of them out of sorts. There was not the comforting synchronized ticking as she expected but a cacophonous sea of ticking. It reflected the condition of their studio, with the normally-secure company cracking at the edges.

In the meantime, Rarity had returned to the stage, still in tears. “R-rarity!” Spike cried, running towards her as she arrived.

The pack beat him there, swarming in and leaving no free space for the interloping dragon. “What just happened?” The small, black one asked.

“It would appear that Photo Finish thinks little of you. And if she thinks little of you, she thinks little of me. I think... I must leave. I know it is sudden and unexpected, but if this is what has always been behind the scenes then this is no place for a lady. This is my decision alone, so please do not make any rash-”

“Yea... we're going with you,” One of the tall Dogs said. The others all muttered agreement.

“Wait!” Fluttershy raised a hoof and gave an uncharacteristic shout, halting any comment form the other folks in the room. “Um, I mean... please, reconsider, Rarity. You can't just leave.”

“Oh darling...” Rarity said, moving through the sea of bodies to Fluttershy, wrapping the soft pegasus up in a warm embrace. “I know you mean well but... you saw what that mare did. And in her office... I certainly know where she stands.”

“Can't you just give her one more chance? She knows how you feel now. Maybe she can change. We all deserve a chance, don't we?” Fluttershy gave rarity a small smile. “You used to think bad things about Diamond Dogs too...”

“What a fool I used to be,” Rarity whispered, looking over the smiling, somewhat sheepish-looking canids. “I... have trusted Photo all these years. She knew what sold, and I accepted it. But I grow weary of never loving them as they should be loved. On camera, I mean. I so freely love them away from from the judging eyes of pony society.”

While Spike looked completely hurt and rushed out of the room, Fluttershy smiled at Rarity and gave her mane a soft brush with a hoof. “She was just looking out for you, and for the studio. You have to understand what ponies are going through. And now... we have a big problem. We need to be strong. Just wait until this all blows over. Then you can decide if you still...” Fluttershy trailed off and looked away.

Rarity gave Fluttershy another hug. “I will stay, then. I know how much this matters, how much you need this career.” Rarity looked to Iron Will and smiled. “How much you both need this. It would be terribly improper of me to weaken this family of ours when we must be strong. And to take away the livelihoods of these Dogs... no. There will be time to see what Miss Finish is truly made of...”

That night Hoity was in his private office, in darkness save for a soft, pale light in the ceiling over his large, circular bed. The curtains were all drawn around the bed, allowing only his moving silhouette to be seen over Photo's distinctive form. They appeared to be at the end of a session of sex, Photo licking the last drops of seed from the end of Hoity's fat, long rod. She lapped around the blunt crown and sucked on the very tip to ensure she had not missed a thing. Only when it was all finished did they settled against one another, tangled in the silk sheets.

There was silence for a time, save for the soft huff of slowing breath, with Photo staring into the semi-darkness at the thin curtain around the bed. “Liebchen,” She said, in a near whisper, “Do you think I am a bigot?”

Hoity did not answer for a moment, but finally said, “I do not think you have any trouble at all representing anyone, and it shows in your bottom line.” He ran his hoof along Photo's full backside and smiled. “In so many ways...”

“Ach, I ashk you a sherious question und I get your humor. I have no mood for it tonight. The truth, liebchen. I want the truth...”

Hoity sighed softly and kissed Photo on the neck. “In truth? You know what the numbers mean. But you don't know what it all really means.”

“In thish time, with all our troublesh, how can I not know what the numbersh mean? It ish my job to know, now more than ever...” Photo said, kissing Hoity back.

“I understand, you care much for this studio and for everything it represents,” Hoity said, sliding a hoof up to cup one of Photo's fat, soft teats, “But we work with real ponies, and others. You had no objections to lavishing praise on Mister William, even though he was new. But you never had a kind word or kind role for any of the Diamond Dogs that our good lady Rarity thinks the world of. I, too, am afraid of change. Our productions work, they do not seem to need fixing. But then I remember I am, as well, artistic. And I wonder what else I may do with the actors who are my palette.”

“I do not fear change,” Photo said quietly, “I fear we will alienate the our audience. They expect our Dogsh will have one role and one role only. To be the rude, overpowering und uncaring brutesh. Maybe I have taken in the ideas of our audience. I have to know their wantsh und secret desires. They want to shee Rarity, a figure of purity und pony perfection, violated. They do not know or care she lovesh the caninesh, they only want to have her shamed.”

Hoity drew Photo into a tight, powerful embrace. “Fluttershy got her to stay for the duration of the trial. Win or lose we may be without her. She will be expecting more positive actions from you. I do not wish to pressure you...”

“Do it. I cannot remain sho cruel. I claim I care for my clientsh. I have betrayed Fraulein Rarity. All because it ish eashy to be unkind to Diamond Dogsh. Everypony holds some negativity in their heart toward them, or that ish how it appearsh. But... I should know better. I want to be better.”

Hoity rested his snout on Photo's neck, eyes slowly closing. “I believe you...” He said, letting his voice trail off.

A small tear slid down Photo's cheek as she settled against Hoity, sleep eluding her as she said the unstated portion of Hoity's sentence, “For now.”

That's why we turn out the red light

Early morning light filtered slowly across Iron Will's face, making his mouth and brows twitch slightly and drawing a deep, rumbling low from his mouth. His eyes wanted to open but the light falling across his features, even reduced by his curtains, was too much to face at that time of the morning. He shuffled slightly to the side but found himself blocked by a comparatively small, curled lump. He slowly lifted the covers and smiled.

Fluttershy lay by his side. She had started out the night, following a glorious session of lovemaking, sprawled out against him, hugging his muscular body. During the night, as she usually tended to, she had curled up into a tight, yellow-and-pink ball. I was absolutely adorable. She looked like a huge, multi-colored loukoumades, just as soft, sweet and delicious. She even made her own honey. The hearty chuckle he gave made one large, pretty teal eye open to regard him, a smile crossing her face. “Morning, angel...”

“That's my line,” Iron Will said, leaning his horned head down to plant a soft kiss on Fluttershy's cheek. He gave her a light smile and nuzzle along her chin. “Want me to make breakfast today?”

“Would you?” Fluttershy asked, pulling in tighter. “Um, I don't mean to impose but... I don't know your kitchen very well, and I'm still not sure what you might like. Plus, um, there's...”

“Souvlaki in the fridge,” Iron will finished, throwing his arms up and giving a tremendous stretch while yawning. He rolled his broad shoulders and gave Fluttershy's head a soft pat. “Just rest, honey. I'll make you something. Want me to serve it in here?”

“Oh no, that would be a terrible imposition,” Fluttershy said, snuggling into the sheets.

“You know I don't mind. I could join you. Breakfast in bed is better with a partner...” Iron Will mused. He jumped out of the bed and lumbered his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. “A lot of things are better with a partner.”

His apartment was not that big but it was a step up from what he had been enduring before his job at Bare Mare. He was a bit jealous, because Fluttershy's place was bigger than his, but she had been a big star longer than he had been attached to her fame. But still, he was always comparing. Beside the single, large-ish bedroom and attached bathroom there was only a hallway that led to the living room and his cramped but functional kitchen.

His place was well stocked with photographs, from the hall to the walls and on shelves in the living room. The frames were filled with smiling, cheerful minotaurs, all in various tones and body patterns. A lot of cows, with a few bulls scattered throughout. And, of course, Iron Will was central in many of those photos, usually being fussed over by some group of cows or another. He had to laugh every time he saw that collection. The longer he spent in Equestria the more the realized that his huge family wasn't very ordinary in that nation.

He went around the kitchen as best he could, setting out pans, utensils and his collection of bottles with oil and spices that resembled Hellenic vases, a little, cute touch that Fluttershy had bought for their six month anniversary. He also got the big container of egg whites out of the refrigerator, along with the vegetables. He considered maybe pulling one of his skewers of meat out but he only liked to eat his souvlaki when he was on his own, as it bothered Fluttershy a great deal.

He was not a fancy or elaborate cook, though his numerous aunts and female cousins had been happy to teach him how to keep himself fed. He laughed a little at his memories as he set the olive oil to heating in two pans and whisked up a good portion of the egg whites. It wasn't traditional but he didn't need the cholesterol.

One pan was generously filled with pureed tomatoes and seasoned with several of the herbs from the little vases, while the other was left wholly alone. After the tomato sauce had thickened he threw the beaten egg whites into both pans. The tomato and egg mixture was scrambled up carelessly, while the plain egg whites had slivers of courgette, aubergine and bell pepper laid in it, eventually taking shape as an omelette. Before the cut the fire on both he threw cubes of feta into the tomato and egg scramble, getting the cheese thoroughly melted, while he dashed plenty of paprika on the omelette.

He plated both dishes and set them on a tray along with some glasses of fresh goat milk and utensils. The tray was another anniversary gift, a wooden replica of a Hellenic shield, bearing the traditional standard of his own home City-State. He took the food back into bed, where he found Fluttershy out of her curled position, resting against the headboard and waiting for him. “It smells delicious. You didn't have to go to all the trouble...”

“For you, it's never trouble,” Iron Will said gallantly, settling carefully into bed with the tray on his lap. He slowly turned it around to present the omelette to Fluttershy. “For you, egg-white omelette with sliced vegetables and paprika. For me, my usual strapatsada with feta. And fresh goat milk. I'm fairly sure Cassiopeia was saying 'Hello' when I picked up the bottles. Aristophanes is still upset I had to fire him. Couldn't be helped.”

Fluttershy paused her fork in mid-cut, looking slightly to the side at the glass of milk. “Oh, that's right... when you came to work at the studio you had to fire all those nice goats that worked for you. Did they... take it badly?”

“They ate an old loin cloth and all of my old posters. I was going to save those,” Iron Will said with a mix of sadness and mirth. “I didn't want to fire them. But it was becoming increasingly difficult to afford them. I think they wouldn't have minded if we had all been in the same boat.”

“And that's why you convinced the studio to buy their feta and milk?” Fluttershy asked.

“It's the least I can do to share the wealth. It's not like the studio needs goats for anything,” Iron Will said, poking at his food that made the silence stretch on for a moment.

Fluttershy ate her omelette in small, dainty bites, smiling as she did so. “It's so delicious. You're a wonderful cook.”

“Thank all the cows in my family. They were relentless. 'Goulielmakis, remember, bachelorhood is no excuse for eating nothing but gyros and kalamaki! And when you find a nice girl you teach her how to make all this or we will!'” Iron Will affected a high, scolding tone when doing his quote, ending with a huge, powerful laugh that almost toppled the milk glasses.

Fluttershy giggled politely behind a hoof. “You never told me about that. I did like to hear about all the pictures but you kind of left out the details.”

Iron Will consumed several large mouthfuls of his breakfast and chased them with a slug of milk. “I guess... well, a lot of that is personal, nostalgic family stuff. I guess I was just saving it. For a moment like this.” Iron Will carefully drew Fluttershy in closer, trying not to jostle their meals.

Fluttershy blushed deeply, eating silently for a while longer before she practically whispered out, “So... are you going to teach me how to cook your family recipes or are they?”

Iron Will didn't say anything for a while, his chewing becoming slow and somewhat mechanical. He gave a slow swallow and grinned aside at the yellow mare. “No need to bother them all the way back home. If you really want, I'll teach you that. I'll have you making baklava and moussaka in no time. My methods get results, satisfaction guaranteed.” He gave her a wink and a thumbs up.

Fluttershy hid another smile behind a hoof and lightly patted Iron Will's side. “I'm almost sorry... Oh! I mean no offense, but... I think it would be nice to meet your aunts and cousins. You always say how important family is; how much they mean to you.”

Iron Will finished off his strapatsada and milk, leaning back in the bed with a pleasant low and a nod. “Yea, they're great. I love them all. I miss them now and then, wonder how it's going out there in Hellas. I get letters, but letters don't really tell me much. And the time zones make phone calls difficult, not to mention finding a good long-distance plan...”

Fluttershy slowly nodded her head, drinking little sips of her milk and licking away the milk mustache before saying, “It sounds like you need your family to be closer. Maybe some of them could move out here. Or maybe we could start a family over here...”

Iron Will twitched at the suggestion, the motion sufficiently strong and sudden enough to jostle the tray and spill the milk, mostly on the tray, though some spilled out onto the sheets. “What?”

“Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so sudden,” Fluttershy said contritely, quickly flying out of the bed and gathering the sheets around the spill that had not landed on the tray. “I'll put these in the hamper. I'm so sorry.”

“I-it's okay. That was my fault,” Iron Will said, carefully taking the tray and dishes back to the kitchen, washing off the milk and setting everything in the sink. “I should have been more careful about how I moved.”

“No, no, it was me. I... I should have been more discreet. But... Rarity's baby shower wasn't long ago. And it was so nice. All the presents, the cake, the jokes that made me blush. Sapphire even sang a song. And Rarity... Rarity talked over and over about how wonderful it was being pregnant and how much she wanted to hold her puppy, to love and care for the life inside her. She made it sound nice. I had been thinking a lot about it before. And you said you had been thinking. You needed time. There's been lots of time...”

Iron Will toweled off the rinsed tray and set it down on the stove, letting it clatter a bit too loudly. “I know there's been time. But it's... it's about how things are supposed to go. There's more to it than that, but the important thing is... marriage...”

“But, I can't get married,” Fluttershy said quickly, “Marriage means taking a vow of fidelity. I couldn't promise that unless I... gave up my career. And you did too...”

Iron Will let the comment slide, not having intended it. “I just... I wish you wouldn't treat me like the other costars.”

“But I don't. You're the only one I want to have a baby with,” Fluttershy said.

“I know what you're saying,” Iron Will said. He let the comment stand as an implication, though nothing came of it. He finally said, “It's like there's some part of you that isn't mine, exclusively mine.”

“Not all of your parts are mine alone either,” Fluttershy said, a blush crossing her features, “We have lots and lots of partners. It's the nature of our jobs. A baby would let us connect on a new level. We could bring a new life into the world. Then we'd have that connection without having to give up our jobs.”

Iron Will shook his head. It was clear Fluttershy didn't understand his point, and was adding on to what marriage meant to him. He made his way into the bathroom with a stoic look. “I'll shower and get ready for work. We can walk there together, the picket line is still there.” The door closed solidly, though without violence. Fluttershy looked at the door and finished stuffing the sheets into the hamper. She couldn't help but think that she was a loudmouth.

Iron Will leaped into the shower and cranked the water on. He didn't care about the temperature, not when it started out freezing not when it leaped out to as hot as he could bear. He just needed it flowing over him and an excuse to scrub a bar of soap over his body. The motion let him burn off the energy born of both anger and nervousness.

He didn't mean to hurt her. That was the last thing he ever intended. She had helped him transition into his job, a job that paid his bills and provided him with a unique group of friends. She had cared about him and made him comfortable when he tried something he thought was impossible. She had done everything for him. But still...

There was a certain distance between them. Even when they were settled up close together, even when he was inside of her in a moment of off-camera intimacy, there was a gulf. He couldn't even be sure what it was, if it was what she did or said, or what he thought of it all.

She cared, she cared a great deal. She loved to have him over to her place, to make little snacks from him (she never meant that but portions ended up that way) and to generally treat him well. But she also cared about all things in general. She was just as likely to go to the park and spread seeds for the birds, or give root vegetables to rabbits in the thicket. She would volunteer at the animal hospital at the drop of a hat, and the soup kitchen, or the orphanage. She loved to help.

She was sweet and kind to him, as if kindness was just what she was inside. But she was also kind to the animals at the pet shop, their waiters at restaurants and everypony she happened to meet. That was not bad at all. Nor was it all that unusual. After all, the other folks he knew were rather pleasant as well. But there was something special about the open and giving friendliness of Fluttershy. She gave that warm friendliness to everyone.

That was it. It was special, but special for all, which made it... nothing. She made love to him on camera and it was delicious. But she gave as much passion and care for every other stunt cock they put with her. She was still doing her virginal violation porn, even as she did her positive porn with him. She had to keep the audience happy. The bottom line mattered to Photo Finish and Hoity Toity. They were kind about it, they never forced her, but she understood what worked and she was only too happy to do it.

She had said he was special, that he was handsome, strong, wonderful. But never said she loved him. He said it to her, but she could never say it back. That was why he put off her implications. She was getting less and less patient and he was going to have to say it. It was frustrating but he didn't want to think of it in that way. She really was a wonderful mare. She was exactly the sort of lady his family would want for him... if she had been a cow.

His soapy hand drifted down to stroke along the flaccid pole of flesh that waved between his muscular thighs. He remembered back to his first foray into the porn world. He had been told to get hard and the pony porn wouldn't cut it. He had thought of his perfect woman, a cow of prodigious pulchritude, chest and abdomen. His length twitched and rose. But even with steady stroking it didn't quite get there. The cow, the beach, the squirting of milk and the movement of mammary flesh.

Then he thought of his charming and humble co-star. She was the epitome of restrained sexuality, a smoldering ember inside that retiring figure. She loved sex, but she loved being close even more. It was how she maintained the image of perpetual virginity. His cock grew harder as he squeezed and stroked it to the image of Fluttershy hiding behind her hair, peeking out with a blush and tiny smile. A deep groan tumbled from his lips as he pictured her turning to show off her smooth flanks and the deep divide, her sex on display. She was not wanton, she showed only peeks, revealing the glistening of dew on the sweet, ever-tight lips. That was her way.

His breath huffed out more raggedly, his huge chest heaving her his stroking quickened. The steam that surrounded him remind him of those humid days shooting, taking her in every manner possible then cleaning up and having lunch. He had just retracted a giant pole of meat form some orifice on her but she casually walked along, sometimes with a lift of her hind end if she was a little tender, and made nothing of it. She was so casual, but that was so sexy. Such innocence even after a major sex scene. She was a perfect lover.

He was oozing precum, the liquid lost in the hot water pounding off of him, while he thought that last part over. She was a perfect lover who never used the word 'love.' He said it. Why wouldn't she? Her caring was wonderful and her kindness sublime but that didn't add up to saying she loved him. He couldn't go that final distance. He never wanted her to know why but if she couldn't love him, how could she ever be a good mother for their child? He imagined her in that state, still looking pure, sweet and beautiful, but on her haunches, again looking through the curtain of her hair, a blush on her face as her hooves slowly stroked at the swell of her belly...

The orgasm gripped him with a shocking suddenness, his bellow throaty and strangled, eyes snapping open in shock. He shot long, ropey strands of calf-batter on the far wall of the shower, the heavy load splattering on the tile and slid down, the glue-thick wad loosened by the humidity and slight spray of water off of Iron Will's body. He planted his free hand on the wall, panting, groaning, shaking his head as he rode out wave after waved of self-induced euphoria.

It had been beautiful. So beautiful he had just released without a second thought. He wanted her like that, pregnant with his calf, blushing but proud. She would love the calf like she loved everything. But without any real commitment, or any real love he just couldn't see it. Even as much as he loved the idea, his body couldn't dictate his action. He had to follow his heart.

Iron Will and Fluttershy walked to the studio in relative silence. Both of them, as did most of the employees, lived within walking distance, which was a great convenience. Normally the trip was short enough to let them get to work in a decent time but long enough to allow for spirited conversation. The few comments came from Fluttershy, who occasionally tried to initiate benign conversation with less and less volume each time, until she ended up mumbling her failed attempt.

Iron Will finally sighed. He was hurting her again. “Look... I can't... I know what I need to say but I don't know if I can. You deserve an answer, no question. Just give me... a little more time.”

Fluttershy nodded her head slowly. “I... understand. I know that I can't answer some things very directly. I have to wait and think about it a lot. I don't have the kind of nerve that somepony like Miss Finish or Mister Toity or Rarity or... someone like you...”

Iron Will grunted softly looked aside a bit. It was true. He had been pushing a motivational technique about being bold and facing life head on and he couldn't even confront his own marefriend... mare friend with benefits... marefriend. It was no wonder he had failed. He wasn't selling anything useful. If he had been he would have never been in the state he was. “I want to, but I know that if I just do it it'll hurt you. That's not what I want. I used to tell folks to say anything even if it bothered others. Now I know that's wrong. Especially when it's you.”

Fluttershy blushed softly and hid behind her hair some more, occasionally peeking aside at Iron Will and tucking her head back down with a temporary deepening of the blush. “Th-thank you...”

Iron Will smiled, finally feeling a little relieved. The smile faded when they reached the street in front of the studio. The picket line was still there, and still just as annoyingly vocal, including the same occasional cries of, “Won't somepony please think of the children?”

“Let's just get through this without any trouble,” Iron Will said across to Fluttershy, who nodded to him.

The two of them strolled slowly through the picket line, most of the ponies glaring at them while subtly moving away. Applejack strolled right up to them, still with the sign strapped to her back. She nodded to them. “Ma'am. Critter.”

Iron Will was unsurprised by the greeting. Over the time of the picket they had grown at least decently tolerant of one anothers' existence. “Hillbilly.”

“Let's... let's just go in...” Fluttershy lightly pulled on Iron Will's arm, looking rather fearfully between the two. She knew they could get intense.

“Don't worry none, ah ain't gonna fuss,” Applejack said with a shrug. “Ain't no need. No cameras here today. Them buzzards found a fresher carcass ta pick at.”

Iron Will chuckled softly. “Good way of putting it. Don't worry, honey. She's harmless. So am I.”

“Seen ya comin' by a lot. Figured ya was knockin' horseshoes, but ah never thought ya was up ta th' 'honey-sugar-sweetie-pie' stage,” Applejack said. “Didn't think y'all folks had it in ya ta be courtin' an' romancin'.”

“Oh, um... I don't mean to say you're wrong but... you're wrong. I know you think you know about us but we're very different from your perception,” Fluttershy said, timidly approaching Applejack. “We're really, really nice folks. You've talked to Rarity before. She's a really good friend of mine.”

Applejack heaved a sigh after trying to work up some indignation to throw at Fluttershy. “Ma'am, ah can't tell a lie. Much as ah think it ain't right ta be doin' the sorta thing she's does in her state... ah'll be danged if she ain't a right cheery lady. And ah do like me a lady happy ta carry a child, no matter what it might be. Ah got me a cousin, gonna have herself a foal soon, an' she's a buffalo. Ah know y'all folk may be nice but... it ain't right what yer doin', and yer hurtin' families. It's like ya really don't care 'bout how yer sinful lives affect others.”

Fluttershy started to comment, but Iron Will cut her off. “Go on inside,” He said, giving Fluttershy a smile, “I want to talk to her a while longer. I promise I'll be nice as possible.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy said warily, before giving a cautiously optimistic nod to both Applejack and Iron Will.

Applejack moved her hat down and up to Fluttershy. “Ma'am, have yerself a nice day... but not too nice, if ya got plans fer anythin' untoward in there.” After Fluttershy had moved away she looked up to Iron Will. “So, critter. Ya got me here with no cameras. Whatcha got buzzin' in yer head?”

“Seems more like you have the bee in your bonnet... err, ten-gallon hat,” Iron Will said with a smug grin. He felt good about that joke. “This feels awfully personal, especially with all the talk about family.”

Applejack grumbled and pulled her hat down to hide her face. “Don't got a clue what yer getting' at, critter.”

Iron Will shook his head slightly and thumped his chest solidly. “I've got twelve blood-related aunts and eight blood-related uncles across my two parents, their spouses and more cousins than I can really remember. I know when there's a family matter. You're not the only one who knows what that's about.”

Applejack snorted and glanced to the side, tapping a hoof on the ground. “Ya got a lotta guff, critter, ah'll give ya that. Ya ain't quite what ah expected. It's... ah gotta be out here. Ah gotta be against this kinda place. Ain't nothin' 'gainst you 'r yer sugar-pie there. Jes gotta be done.”

“And why is that?” Iron Will queried. “Come on, you can tell me. I know you don't like me but I'm not a bad bull. I'm guessing you want to tell someone. Maybe I'll even understand your desire to put me out of a job.”

Applejack gave a wry laugh. “It ain't jes you, it ain't even 'bout what kinda males they got in there...” She gave a soft groan and a shake of her head. “It's... mah brother...”

“Hmm, the plot thickens...” Iron Will said, lightly tapping his cheek. “What about your brother?”

“Mah brother was a happy, normal country fella,” Applejack said with a wistful look. “He did a good job helpin' out on the farm. He used ta go inta town ta sell product an' buy supplies an' he met himself th' local schoolteacher. She was a real sweet lady, loved mah brother lots. They courted fer a bit and got hitched. That's when it happened...”

“So... did she hit him or something because she saw it in a porn? I know that can be a little uncomfortable,” Iron Will said, reflexively reaching down for his loincloth but restraining himself before he appeared to be making a lewd gesture at the country mare.

Applejack tilted her head curiously at Iron Will. “Ah guess accidents can happen, an' they don't get taken outta th' movie. Nah, weren't that. Mah brother he... he got hisself hooked on the porn. He watched it all the time, jes a-sittin' and a-slappin', like randy stallions do. His nice, sweet schoolteacher wife done got plain fed up, and ah don't blame her. She left him when she felt like she had ta compete with her husband's latest porn queen. Then he jes got worse. He would jes mope around, do his job an' head home to jes slap his troubles away, watchin' the porn all night.”

“I'm not the one there making him, uh, slap it out. I'm just doing a job. I get out of bed, make breakfast, shower and come down to work. It beats failing to bring in an audience at cheap motels trying to be a motivational speaker, or hawking cheap junk on late-night television commercials. I feel bad about what happened to your brother but... do you really think someone like this Twilight Sparkle really wants to help you?” Iron Will asked, looking seriously down on Applejack

“What's that there, critter?” Applejack ask, head tilting slightly. “Twilight Sparkle..? Think ah heard that name on the news talkin' 'bout this here law that'll put condoms on all y'all.”

Iron Will gave Applejack an incredulous look. “You really don't know her? Word around the studio is she put this whole picket line together with a lot of trickery and calling folks.”

“What? Naw, that ain't how it went,” Applejack said, reaching under her hat to pull out a pamphlet. “There here's why ah'm here. It's a group all about morals, an' such. PAP. Ponies Against Porn.”

Iron Will flipped through the pamphlet. It was slickly made, full of lurid descriptions of pornographic studios, liberally sprinkled with questionable facts, alleged testimonials from ex-porn stars and soapbox moralizing. It looked nothing like the creation of a simple organization. Rather than say that outright, Iron Will only said, “Haven't you noticed that dragon hanging around? That's Twilight Sparkle's assistant. He tours the place when she doesn't want to be seen. They've been keeping up the pressure until the Penile Code can go into effect.”

“Well... he's just a... concerned citizen. Dragons hate porn too...” Applejack shook her head and cleared her throat. “That don't matter none. She wants ta help stop porn, and that makes her aces in mah book. Don't matter what she's doin' it fer.”

“Does it matter why she's doing it?” Iron Will Asked. “She's not concerned with your morals. She wants power and control. This isn't the first thing she did. I looked. She was behind, 'Don't Smoke Joke...'”

“Hey! Ah know that! Mah sister-in-law had them posters up in her classroom!” Applejack said cheerfully. “Now if she was all fer that ah'm findin' ah likes her more 'n' more.”

“Yea, yea, I know, that was good. But I don't think she did it to be good. I think she just wanted to take things away,” Iron Will said, tapping his chin, “Because I found out what she did next. She tried to keep her name out of it but she was the one that started prohibition.” He looked down at the orange mare with an accusatory glare. “Did your family happen to make any money during that time?”

Applejack's mouth quirked and she glanced to the sides. “We did what we did, like we always did. Granny told me there weren't no no shame in getting' what we could, so long as nopony got hurt. But that ain't the point! There ain't no prohibition no more. Ah guess she thought it was a good thing at the time. Everypony is allowed ta be wrong every once in a while. That don't change the fact that she was right about Poison Joke and she's right about this porn thing here. It's bad business an' it turns good folk like mah brother inta pre-verts!”

Iron Will was prepared to let Applejack have it again but he looked on her and sort of... understood her. She was a moralizing pest, sure. But she was also a family mare with a brother who was hurt. She needed a target for her anger and she picked on the easiest one. He knew about family. “It's a business... look, I've gotta go in. I'm... I'm really sorry about your brother. I know you don't believe me but I am.”

Applejack clicked her tongue and looked away. “Thank ya, critter... sir. We can't see eye-ta-eye, but ah can tell ya know from family. Good day to ya an' ah hope yer honey-pie treats ya right.”

Iron Will wasn't even sure what to say about that. Not given what he had been thinking of that morning. “I hope so too...” Was all he muttered before making his way into the building.

Inside the studio Iron Will didn't even have to open his mouth. Opal opened a door and smiled brightly to him. “Rehearsal, studio twelve. She said she wanted you there.”

“Thanks, Opal,” Iron Will said with a half-hearted smile. He made his way down the halls, occasionally looking at the posters on the wall. Feature covers and nature scenes above his sayings. He had dreamed of selling his sayings to office buildings one day, as a side-business to his speaking career. Technically he was still doing that. He was selling to one office, but only sort of, as a sideline to his real career of making a pegasus gape.

He looked at his reflection in one of the pieces of glass and gave a thumbs up, smiling as he used to during his lectures. He looked much better, without the crushing weight of debt, better muscled and properly fed. It was a good look, and added strength to the saying behind the glass, 'Maybes are for babies!' He heaved a sigh and moved along. He was sure having his share of maybes.

He reached the door of the studio and braced himself for the attack of squeaking before he opened the door. But when he opened the door he was not greeted by the obnoxious squeal of rubber on rubber. He heard only the restrained whimper and gentle moan of Fluttershy, buried deep beneath the heavy, loud grunts and cries of a stallion.

The room was mostly empty, as it was a rehearsal rather than an active filming. There were really no technical personnel inside, just Hoity observing Fluttershy and a green unicorn stallion. The two were on the set, which was bare save for a single, large pillow. The stallion was on his back, legs spread out wide to display his modestly-sized genitals, cock wrapped in a condom, balls lightly swaying with any motion of his body, though his motions were kept to a minimum. Fluttershy was the one doing the moving, ass wrapped snugly around the rubber-clad pole, her vacant sex filled with a fem-dom despite being unused. She was performing her most famous motion, the Anal Butterfly, letting gravity pull her slowly down to the very base of that dick, then flapping her wings to pull her back to the tip.

Iron Will walked up to Hoity and motioned to the scene. “Another loophole?”

Hoity nodded without looking to the side. “They must wear the prophylactics, but there is no anal requirement. It is, as yet, mercifully quiet, though simply seeing her own protection in is quite unusual.”

Iron Will turned to watch Fluttershy and the stallion. Her breath was puffing out in cute, squeaky little pants, eyes closed, mouth slightly agape while her tongue peeked out. She rested at the end of each downward slide and then reluctantly began flapping to drag herself slowly up the lightly-throbbing organ. She appeared to struggle with the flight, seemingly running out of energy right at the crest, letting loose a gentle while as she slid back down again, wing spread out wide but slowly drooping back to her sides.

The cycle continued for a good while, Fluttershy making each fatigued slide down look natural and every desperate wing-beat seem sincere. One upward move broke the pattern, her wings not stopping as she got to the crown of the stallion's dick. She continued to flap, head shaking, teeth grinding lightly. She pulled off the broad head with a soft 'pop' and a tiny squeak of relief. She remained fluttering over the lightly-twitching cock while she eagerly rubbed and softly flicked at her clit under the fem-dom's rubber covering.

“O-oh my...” Fluttershy whimpered, working her button a little faster before she settled her anus against the covered organ. She let out a little shout as the broad head spread her anal ring again, her wings ceasing to flap. She slowly slid down the length once more, working at her nub until she hit bottom again. “It's so big! Oh my, it's... it's almost too much.”

“Because of the sensation loss from the condom use I had to implement extensions to such scenes to keep them from growing stale,” Hoity said aside to Iron Will. “And, of course, she must work herself with a bit more vigor than is seemly for a supposed virginal mare but she also must fight the loss of sensation.”

Iron Will nodded his head slowly, only really half-hearing Hoity's explanation. He just watched her perform, her face determined, rather than pleasured. He knew that look. She got it when she took on the challenge of his rod. She did love it, and said so often. But the look was the same. “Looks like it's all good. Tell her I'm heading home if you don't need me for anything. I need to prepare for the trial.”

“Of course. Mental preparation is important,” Hoity said. “I will convey your message to Miss Fluttershy. Please do try to calm yourself. We need to remain united, and have our wits about us.”

“Right, right... rest...” Iron Will said, taking one last look at Fluttershy before walking out of the studio.

Back at his apartment Iron Will fried up a few of his souvlaki on a griddle, despite the fact that it sometimes got complaints from his pony neighbors if they happened to be around. Ponies were rather bad about accepting that some folks were omnivorous. He pan-fried some zucchini in olive oil to go along with his meaty meal, and finished it all off with a big, proper glass of cold ouzo, out of a bottle his mother had sent him.

He fell down heavily on the low couch in his living room with his food and drink. He could have watched some television but he did not feel like risking seeing any news while flipping around. He flicked on the nearby record player and put on a record from home. The familiar sound of the strumming bouzoukia, plinking lyres, resounding accordions and thumping tympanum soothed Iron Will's mind and made him smile as he sedately ate the meat off the skewers and picked the zucchini with his fingers, taking generous pulls at the ouzo glass between mouthfuls.

He leaned backed in a more comfortable posture after he had eaten his meal, drumming his fingers on his stomach in time to the music. The cheerful tunes had ended and slower, more thoughtful and ponderous music had begun. The combination of the small buzz from the alcohol, the peacefully-sated feeling in his belly and the heavy music got him reminiscing.

Way back, when he had first started working there Hoity had tried something more avant garde than usual. The details escaped him, as he had not been directly involved but more casually interested. He knew that music had been involved, and two temporary workers had been brought in to add a touch of exoticism. He recalled a Neapolitan earth pony who often wore a conical hat decorated with colorful poms, as well as a very swarthy donkey with a thin mustache and a heavy Iberian-esque accent.

The two had not exactly been standoffish but they did not freely socialize with the others. At first Iron Will had thought it had been a language barrier but they spoke the local tongue well enough. He had made an effort to get to know them and was eventually rewarded with a friendly relationship. They did not really 'talk shop' but did enjoy expounding on various social and personal matters.

“Life can be a comedy if we let it be,” The stallion was fond of saying, usually with a smile. “We make what we will of what becomes of us. We choose to end or begin the comedy. It amazes me when I see those that would just toss it aside.”

“It is so,” The donkey would often concur. “But it is truer that some things we do to ourselves because we cannot stop ourselves. They are natural. We could want to do one thing but our nature would always be in the other direction. The simplest thing to mention is jealousy. We may not want to be jealous but it will always fester there, especially if there is no trust. Jealousy will drive you mad.”

The trial was not that far away. They were bound for Canterlot the next day to prepare for it. They were supposed to be relaxing and remaining strong and united in the face of the opposition. But all Iron will could do was remember a few odd guys that left after their job was complete. He remembered because they were spot-on about life. About jealousy.

He didn't want to mistrust Fluttershy. He loved her; he had always loved her. It showed every time he made love to her. No pony had ever aroused him until he met her. She was still the only one that could make him rock hard and ready to go. He enjoyed her company, he loved her jokes, her gentle manner, her adorable laugh, her whole bearing and aura of sweetness.

She enjoyed him, he knew that. But she also enjoyed random stallions plugging her rear end. She never said that she loved those other males she appeared with, but she never told him she loved him. It was going around and around in his head. He was echoing himself. Just like in the shower that morning he was just torturing himself.

He was going to have to tell her. He wanted to chicken out and just keep putting her off, to wonder. She would never push the issue. That was her way. But that would just be manipulation on his part, taking undue advantage of her timidity and reticence. If he loved her so much he couldn't just hurt her like that or force her to live in uncertainty, wondering what she had done wrong when it was him. It was all him and only him.

Iron Will sighed when he finally realized the record had ended. He flicked off the player and looked out at his kitchen, remembering that morning, and remembering the look on Fluttershy's face as she did her anal scene with that stallion. He was falling into the trap. He couldn't make his mind obey his will. Jealousy wasn't driving him mad. It was making him aware of the real problem. He lacked love, and lacked trust. No love and no trust was making him crazy.

Fluttershy asked about Iron Will after her rehearsal, having saw him out of a partially-open eye during her practice she. She had smiled at him but wasn't sure if he had seen. Hoity's telling her that he had gone back home to rest and recuperate before the trial had made her sad, but she had understood. It was very sensible, and he was good about being practical. That had been his living.

She considered going to visit him, but knew it would be better to leave him be to rest. They all needed to rest and prepare. She did want to rest and be close together with him, but after the events of the morning and his not staying around she had to consider the idea that he needed more time to himself. She just went back home and tried to relax.

Her own apartment was very modest, though clean and nice. She could afford a more opulent space, but in all aspects of her life she was modest. All she cared about was space enough for her own comfort and a building that allowed animals. Though she preferred wild animals she kept some domesticated pets in cages. She made sure, at least, they were beautiful cages, and always very clean.

She had been puttering around the apartment, feeding her animals and cleaning up what little mess there was. Her attention more often than not drifted to the telephone, and her mind ran over Iron Will's phone number. She finally went over to it to give him a friendly call when she saw the blinking light on her answering machine. Hoping beyond hope she hit the button and heard his voice.

”Hey babe it, uh, it's me. I'm sitting here on the couch, I just ate a bachelor's brunch of fried zucchini and souvlaki... probably shouldn't have mentioned that. I also drank a lot of ouzo. No more than usual but...yea, probably more than usual. Not just the taverna glass I bought. Two of those. And a little more. I guess I'm a little drunk. I don't know, never been drunk drunk before.

“I'm calling because I have to. It's only right. It's probably the ouzo making me brave. You think I'm so brave and was a good speaker. You're wrong. If I had really been any good at that I would have made money. I was just lucky you took pity on me and got me a job I'm actually good at. Brave... I can't even tell you what's wrong.

“I used to think I'd never have to tell you. I thought if I just put it off you would forget, or I'd get out of my responsibility by you never bringing it up anymore. Yea. I'm so brave... I realized I was hurting you like this. I was also disrespecting you. I'm just figuring out I'm... kind of a dick. And not the kind that makes me a living. The kind that treats mares like you like dirt. I don't deserve you. But the problem is... I don't even know if I have you.

“That's what I've always been afraid of. I never told you because I hoped it would just go on like it always would. It would be okay because we always had later to talk about it. That trial is coming. We don't really have much 'later' left if this thing happens. I know you want a kid. I'll be honest... I do too. But I need you to understand why I keep putting it off...

“I come from a big family. You know that much. You've seen the pictures. We're also a pretty well-off family. My mother is one of the distant offshoots of the royal family, and my father made a ton of money in shipping. Both families were not happy with me coming to Equestria to be a speaker and thespian. But I told them I knew what I was doing. Eventually they knew they couldn't stop me. My mother told me I could come home any time I wanted. She also told me, she hope I could find somecow to love me. I realize now that I don't want somecow. I want somepony. A special somepony.

“There's more to it, though. My family believes that love should go along with having calves. And I don't know if you do. You care about me. You treat me nicely. But you never said you love me. You like what I can do but I hear the same 'nice' out of you that you tell you every worker you act with. You look the same with them as you do with me. I don't feel like... you even feel the same for me that I do for you. And if you don't love me... I just can't see having a baby with you.

“Family matters to me. A lot. I want a calf. I want you to be mother to my calf. I want your love. I don't know if I have it. That's... that's why. Just... so you know. I... probably should have tried this sober. I'm probably going to regret this. But, um... that's what I had to say. I hope you're alright.” The machine clicked as the message ended.

Fluttershy had been cheered at the start of the call, even laughing over the talk about being drunk. She knew it was out of character for him, and he was far more put-together than the other drunk folks she had seen before. It still sounded like him, but far less restrained than he had been lately, which was refreshing.

She became more interested as the rambling talk led into his feeling of not being brave, of being mean to her. She had never even suspected. She had been considering dropping the matter. She had been making him uncomfortable, and that had been unfair. It was almost refreshing to know the discomfort went both ways.

The last part, however... it was like a punch in the stomach. She was simultaneously angry and sorrowful. She couldn't believe he would say that she didn't treat him differently. She always talked to him, ate lunch with him, went out with him. She never did that with any of the other guys. They barely thought of her, and she had no reason to think much of them.

He was right, however. In all the time they had been in some sort of a relationship... she had never said those words. She had thought that saying she wanted a baby said it. But he had been raised differently. The child wasn't a sign. That came after the love had come about. He had gone with her, enjoyed her company, and told her he loved her. He loved her. She did care about him. She did want to be with him. But after so much porn she wasn't sure what it meant to care like that.

Turnabout Porn, Part One

“Discord... thank you for coming so quickly,” Celestia said, slowly rising from behind her desk. She was in her private office suite, a semi-Rococo space with elegant filigree along the walls decorated with gold. Huge windows let the sunlight spill freely in, while one large glass door led out onto a balcony overlooking the city of Canterlot. “I suppose you know why I have called for you?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don't,” Discord said with mirth in his voice, “And maybe I want you to provide some exposition. It amuses me. No matter which it is, you will tell me.”

Celestia sighed and rolled her eyes in frustration. She could never fathom Discord's strange ways. “There is a trial... my protege is proposing a new, stringent set of laws to be placed on the adult film industry. The industry, as represented by a major player, has stated that the law is unnecessary and needlessly restrictive.”

“Sounds kinky,” Discord said, clearly amused. Celestia ignored his comment.

“The industry views the bill as a matter of personal attack against them,” Celestia said, “There are actually a lot of objections, it's like that music matter but with more depth.” Celestia sighed as she thought about her control-obsessed protege. “Sometimes I wonder about Twilight. She had so much potential to do good. If only she had heeded my counsel to make friends...”

“Would have, could have, should have,” Discord said with a grin, “Didn't. No time for regrets now, Celestia. But tell me, what does her moralizing obsession with mental purity have to do with the spirit of chaos? I can't make her change her mind... well, I could, but I promised not to do that anymore.”

“And I am glad you kept that promise... under threat of reflexive magical backlash that would turn you to stone,” Celestia noted, dryly. “I have called you here because that trial is in the big court, to undergo Ministerial review and parliamentary consideration. We need a judge, and you are the one.”

“Hmm, the spirit of chaos, as a judge...” Discord tapped his single fang, giving Celestia a curious glance. “It does have a sense of poetic justice; though I must admit I'm curious as to why you don't do it yourself?”

“I cannot. For sake of appearance I have to stay out of matters like these,” Celestia said. “I must give the appearance of the detached ruler, focused solely on the broad picture of the nation.”

“Sensible, as ever, Celestia,” Discord said with a gagging motion. “Practicality is so boring. Well then, why not your sister? She gets away with petty things. Let her outdated mind wrangle with pornography. She might like it.”

“Luna is... attending to an espionage matter right now. 'Her majesty's Secret Servicer,' as she puts it, is in town,” Celestia said, with a blush.

“Goodie! Gossip!” Discord snapped his fingers, suddenly appearing with a bowl of popcorn and curlers on his head. “Dish, dish! Tell me who's putting the all-pony sausage to your sister! I swear it's not creepy or voyeuristic.”

“I don't know. Hence, 'secret,'” Celestia said with a look of disgust. “And, quite frankly, it's not my business, it's her life. Besides, she's good about keeping him hidden.”

Discord deadpanned at Celestia and snapped his fingers, popcorn and curlers vanishing. “You know how to ruin a good hen party. Well then... that nephew of yours. The distant one. He's high-ranked enough to serve as judge, even if he's also a Minister.”

“No good. He's still on his honeymoon. He's milking it for all it's worth. Frankly, by the time he deigns to come back to work I almost imagine his wife will have a mule suckling on a teat,” Celestia said. “You're the one. For better or worse.”

“It's always better when I'm on the job,” Discord said with a cackle, snapping his fingers, appearing in a grand black robe and elaborate powdered wig. “Well now, how do I look?”

“Very... official,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “Very well. You had best go and get ready. Your job will begin soon enough.”

“Of course! If your lawyer's sleeping better give 'em a nudge! Everybody look alive now! Here comes the judge! Here comes the judge!” Discord sang, suddenly wielding a giant gavel and banging it loudly on the air.

Celestia watched Discord go, suddenly coming to the realization that she was entrusting an important matter to a frivolous nut that would probably decide objections and notions based on his whims and potential for amusement. Celestia slowly trotted to a tucked away alcove, head down. In the alcove there was a grand fresco, a flaming-red-maned alicorn with a beatific look on her face, standing on two legs over a swirling collection of galaxies and jetting black holes, giving a gesture of blessing. Celestia bowed her head lower and went down to her belly before the fresco. “Mater noster, mater misericordiae, O clemens, O pia, O dulcis virgo Faustus...”

Hoity and Photo stood outside of a rather unassuming-looking door in the basement of Bare Mare studios. Written on it were the simple words, 'Studio Attorney.' The two ponies looked at one another and shivered. “Well now...” Hoity said quietly, “Let us... get to this. We need to get all the relevant parties to the bus to take us to Canterlot. So... let me...”

“Careful, liebchen. She ish... her...” Photo said, gently holding Hoity back.

“I know what I am doing. I have been here before. And despite her... nature, that cannot be helped. I am sure she will behave for the duration of this important matter,” Hoity said, trying his best to look brave. He knocked firmly on the door and called out, “Hello! The time has come to...”

The door flew open with a loud 'bang,' along with a sudden spray of confetti. “Visitors! Yay!” A whirlwind of pink flew out of the room, resolving into Pinkie Pie, in all her hyperactive, puffy-maned glory. Apropos of nothing she was also wearing a headband holding up a pair of white faux fur bunny ears. “So, did you come down here to party, or for more boring law stuff?”

Photo and Hoity looked on Pinkie with some slight uncertainty, covered in pieces of confetti. Hoity cleared his throat and adjusted his sunglasses. “Sadly, this is a professional call. You must proceed to our bus for transit to Canterlot. The trial is upon us, or is near enough to arriving.”

“Oooh! Yay! Canterlot! They really know how to throw a party. That's where I did my upper-level law work and where I passed the Equestrian bar. This will be fun!” She gave it a thought and added, “Also, I get to argue before an important court. That's fun too.”

“Ja, fun! Much fun! Let ush go then! Without delay,” Photo said, with a hopeful look on her face.

“Yes, yes, Miss Finish is quite correct. It will be quite fun, and if you win you will remain employed here, which, as I understand, is something you greatly enjoy,” Hoity said, smiling brightly.

“Yup yup! I love it! I wanna stay here as long as I can, even if I get really old and moldy and creaky, I still wanna be here!” Pinkie cried with great enthusiasm.

Photo stepped away from the door and motioned to Pinkie to go past her. “Wunderbar! The othersh await! Let ush all be off.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie chipped, hopping pleasantly off down the hall, followed by a very relieved-looking Hoity and Photo. Even as they made their way to the court, Twilight was prepping her faithful assistant.

“We're up against a professional team,” Twilight said, using her magical aura to carefully arrange folders into a standard file box. “Probably a couple or trio of attorneys out of a corporate firm, perhaps partner-level, plus junior assistants working in the background. They're not going to go down without a fight.”

“Yea, I know. I saw 'Diamond Deep Throating' too. She fights, they win and she's gargling their jizz,” Spike said with a grumbling huff, carelessly stuffing away the folders he had before him.

Twilight took a moment just to stare at Spike in pure disbelief before she zapped him with an extra large magical jolt, making him yelp and leap around, holding onto his rear end. “Spike! I can't believe you. Can I trust you to focus on this trial? I can't decide which is distracting you more, your prurience or your maudlin torpidity. Either way, you are not exactly inspiring my confidence...”

“No! No, I promise I can handle this. This is a very important thing,” Spike said, after recovering form his magical tasering. “We need to do this... for the good of the workers. And their minds.”

Twilight sorted and packed a few more files, thinking over the words. “You've learned well. Your compassionate nature will not go unnoticed. While my intentions are for all minds to remain unadulterated by drink, drugs and perversion, your concern for the redemption of the producers makes for good television. I may think ill of them for intentionally corrupting others but the impression is always that anyone can be redeemed. Good thinking, Spike. You can handle the television interviews.”

Spike ran his hands over his head spines, grinning his best 'ready-for-prime-time' smile and popped his brows at Twilight. “You think I've got the style for television work, do you?”

“You have that 'know-nothing' populist way about you. The perfect clueless common dragon to reassure the average viewer that what is going on is in their best interest and is also properly moral as far as they are concerned,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, starting to levitate the file boxes over to a small stack of them. “Besides, your presence will alleviate any fears of this bill resulting in more government control. Nopony could feel intimidated by the actions of a tiny dragon.”

Spike deflated a bit, sullenly going back to packing his boxes and looking over at Twilight with a scowl. “Can't you just say I've got a good face for television and the right personality?”

“I... thought I did,”Twilight said, giving Spike a curious look. “I said you looked right to impress the typical television viewer. What, did you want me to call you some sort of himbo, a vapid pretty face with nothing between your ears?”

Spike smiled brightly, carrying over his file box with a spring in his step. “Thanks, Twilight! You're the best boss anyone could have.”

The day finally arrived, the trial date. All sides were led into the Grant Court at Canterlot. The huge chamber had a neoclassical flavor to it, marble columns at the corners of the room, vaulted ceilings with frescoed recesses, while at the same time it had more modern courtroom touches such as a high wooden judge's podium, a witness box set between the two antique wooden desks that served as the spaces for prosecution and defense. Behind the low wall at the back of the court section itself were benches and cushions for the audience, primarily the witnesses for both sides. It was also serving for the news crews that swarmed the place.

The parties in question were already situated at their respective desks. Twilight and Spike were at their side with their stacks of files, both of them dressed in sensible gray suit coats, Spike in gray slacks and Twilight in a gray skirt. On the other side sat Hoity, Photo and Pinkie. She was in a blue suit, and still had her bunny ears on. She sauntered over to Twilight's table and extended a hoof. “It's good to meet a worthy opponent! I'm sure we'll have super, duper fun on this!”

Twilight looked on Pinkie with a great measure of disbelief. “Wh-what? Who are you?”

“Oh! Silly me! I forgot. My name is Pinkie Pie, Esquire! I know who you are, so I'm sorry I took away your introduction. I'm sure it would have been really nice!” Pinkie said, shaking Twilight's hoof firmly.

Twilight was rattled about by the shake and became disoriented for a bit. She regained her composure after getting her head to stop shaking and gave Pinkie the once-over. “Are you... one of the assistants? Some kind of a paralegal? Where are the primary attorneys of record?”

“That's me!” Pinkie passed off a card. 'Pinkie Pie, Esq. Bare Mare Studios, Attorney.' “I am the sole legal representative of the interests of Bare Mare Studios and all employees and ancillary parties,” She said with a bored, flat tone. Saying the word 'parties' caused her eye to twitch involuntarily. Her mouth filled with saliva as though the mere thought of parties triggered a Pavlovian response. She then perked up and added, “But not always the fun kind of parties! I throw those for New Year. And birthdays. And Arbor day. And whenever I have a mind to!”

Twilight's eye twitched a few times, as did the corner of her mouth. “You? You're the... only lawyer?”

“Uh-huh!” Pinkie said with a nod.

“You buried me under an avalanche of motions, briefs and evidence? All on your own?” Twilight asked, increasingly upset.

“Yup yup yup yup! I did that too. Mister Toity said you were being a big meany pants to him and the studio and we really needed to win.”

“That's impossible!” Twilight shouted, exasperated, “Nopony could do that much work by themselves! You'd never have time to sleep!”

“You'd be surprised how much energy you have from a diet of hot-sauce-and-caffeine cupcakes. I need all the energy and excitement I can get. This law stuff isn't too much fun but I'm really, really good at it. So I did something I thought might work. Did it work?” Pinkie asked, with a gigantic smile.

Twilight still couldn't believe it. “You mean... you actually graduated?”

Pinkie nodded vigorously. “Yep! I started practicing law after passing the bar.”

“I'm surprised you could pass anything more complex than a limbo bar,” Twilight said with some venom.

“Good guess!” Pinkie said, “I was also the campus limbo champ!”

“I suppose it's serendipity that you would go on to represent a porn studio,” Twilight said, “They deserve a lawyer capable of stooping to their level.”

Like a sturdy limbo bar, Twilight's insults went over Pinkie's head. “Looks like we're going to have fun!” Pinkie said with a smile.

“Well... we shall see...” Twilight pulled back a little, vaguely disturbed. She cleared her throat and turned to her papers. “Very well. Let us get to this trial.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie cried, hugging Twilight suddenly before bouncing off back to her own desk.

Before Twilight could react to the sudden hug there was a tremendous flash of light and Discord appeared in the judge's chair, banging a gavel on the stand. “Hear ye, hear ye, no one says 'hear ye' anymore. Also, court is now in session, the venerable, honorable, reliable and desirable judge Discord presiding. And residing under the podium for now. There's a lot of room down there!”

“Discord!” Twilight shouted as the entire gallery gasped.

Applejack stood up in the audience and pointed at him. “Now wait here jes an apple-buckin' minute! What in the hay are y'all doin up there bein' the judge?”

"Celestia trusts my judicial skills," Discord said with a soft pout, attempting to look both injured and innocent, "Besides, there's no one more qualified to be judge than I."

“An' how do ya figger that?” Applejack asked.

“Well, after all, one cannot have order without chaos. Who else beside me is qualified enough to discern the difference?” Discord asked. He then leaned on one hand, the other casually tossing the gavel in the air and catching it over and over. “And, she had no one else. Princess Celestia would prefer to remain aloof for the sake of appearances, Princess Luna is getting her moon rocks off thanks to her own personal spook, and Minister Blueblood is, at this very moment, serving his wife brunch in bed, which is hardly traditional but has just the right level of sappy mush he's probably going for.” Discord winked at Applejack. “And in case you were wondering, your 'grampy' Zeke is...”

“That's enough outta you!” Applejack called, a blush resting heavily on her cheeks.

“Very well! Let us begin,” Discord said, slamming the gavel down. “Opening statements from both parties. Alright, you first, Miss Sparkle. Dazzle us with your oratory. Or perhaps baffle us with your bull... well, let us not finish that thought.”

Twilight looked up at Discord in utter confusion, but she rose and started to pace. “Thank you, your Honor. It is my intention to demonstrate to this august court and further to the Parliament that will review these proceedings that it is proper and necessary to implement the collection of new regulations collectively defined as 'The Penile Code' for the sake of m- the sake of safety, accountability and protection of pornographic workers. The current regulations are not enough to provide true safety. Furthermore I wish to demonstrate that pornography is damaging to society and needs further regulation in the interest of protecting the innocent from harm.” Twilight sat back down with a nod once she had finished.

Discord held up a paddle with a number six on it. “It was a decent speech but it didn't really wow me. You have to hope the television audience votes to save you. Now, for the other team. Go, zany lawyer.”

Pinkie Pie stood up and pulled a pipe out from somewhere. She put it to her lips and started it to bubbling. “Now, I am here to show...”

“Ah, ah, ah, stop,” Discord said, pointing down at a sign that was suddenly on the front of his podium, saying 'No Smoking.' Right below it was a similar sign saying 'No Bubbling.' “This is a courthouse. We have rules about that sort of thing.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Discord and gave him the stink-eye before she pulled the pipe from her lips. “Very well...” She extended her unnaturally-large tongue, placed the pipe on it and rolled it back up, giving a loud swallow. As she spoke afterward bubbles flew from her mouth, growing less frequent as she went on. “I am here to show the current practices for the industry are sufficient to their purposes. I also intend to show that all this fun pornography is harmless and nice. Who doesn't love a good porno? I mean, besides Miss Sparkle? But really, that's all I can think of. Also, I'll throw a party at the studio if we win.” Pinkie sat back down and lightly belched up one last bubble.

Discord watched the bubble float up and pop, releasing a loud burp. “Well, now that was disgusting. Perfect! I judge you go first in calling someone up to question them.”

”What?!” Twilight thought as she glared at Pinkie.

“I call... Rainbow Dash to the stand!” Pinkie pointed into the audience, to the rainbow-maned bodyguard.

“Wait a minute... me? You want me?” Dash protested, but still made her way through the air and to the witness box. “Why in the hay do you need me to testify up here?”

“Oh, that's easy, it's because while you had the least character development you're still important enough to mention as more than just a background pony,” Pinkie said.

“Objection! That... that made no sense at all...” Twilight levitated a piece of paper. “She's on the rather exhaustive list of potential witnesses but... that explanation makes no sense and does not provide a rational explanation for why she is calling my bodyguard.”

“No, no... actually, she makes perfect sense,” Discord said. He winked at Pinkie and added, “However, Miss Pie, in the future please refrain from attempting to break the Proscenium arch, for all our sakes.”

“Awwww, fine,” Pinkie grumped, hopping up to Dash with a large book, on which Dash placed a hoof. “Do you swear that the testimony you will give is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, Faust?”

“Yea, yea, I swear. This isn't my first flight show. I've had to testify before,” Dash said breezily.

Pinkie flipped through some papers. “Now... is your name 'Rainbow Miriam Dash'?”

Dash slammed her hooves on the witness stand. “Hey! I had that middle name legally changed to 'Danger'!”

“Was that before or after your court-martial?” Pinkie asked, giving a sidelong glance to Dash.

“Wh-what?” Dash's wings flew open in surprise and the sunglasses were tossed from her face.

“Objection! Relevance?” Twilight cried, slamming her table.

“Please, I know what I'm doing,” Pinkie said, giving Discord big, puppy-dog eyes.

Discord cooed and smiled. “Awww, look at those big, lawyer eyes. She looks like some sort of legal beagle. Go on, but please get to your point.”

Pinkie indicated her papers she had. “Rainbow Danger Dash, tried by Equestrian Air Service Court-Martial for offenses under several military articles and convicted of disrespect towards a superior officer. She was caught with footage from a hidden camera that had been installed in the male officer's shower, and which saw her superior, Soarin', engaged in, tee hee, masturbation...” Pinkie dissolved into giggles for a moment before she regained her composure, “She was dishonorably discharged... hee... for filming her commanding officer's dishonorable discharge!” She fell on the floor, kicking her legs and laughing uproariously.

“Th-that's not important at all!” Dash screamed, blushing deeply.

“Objection! Again!” Twilight yelled.

“As amusing as I find it, I have to bring up the fact that stick-in-the-mud has a point. How is this admittedly-hilarious embarrassing personal indiscretion relevant to the matter before us?” Discord queried.

“Oh! Sorry. I got caught up in the comedy. Miss Dash became a private security contractor after her dishonorable discharge and a failure to become a secret agent. Miss Sparkle hoof-picked her as a bodyguard from a list of government-approved contract employees rather than taking a real Special Agent. She had access to the same Court-Martial report and still chose her. This shows questionable judgment. And that does not inspire confidence in her ability to do things like... make a bill. It might need more review.”

“W-wait! I was swayed by her fit-reps and physical capabilities. The circumstances behind her discharge were irrelevant!” Twilight shouted.

“It does cast you in a questionable and hilariously ironic light,” Discord said, “Choosing a spy-cam-using ex-military bad girl as a bodyguard while you make laws about pornography. Don't you look foolish?”

“I'm done with this witness,” Pinkie said casually, bouncing back to her table.

“Care to cross, Miss Sparkle?” Discord asked with a hint of mirth.

“Oh I'm cross, alright,” Twilight said as her face grew red with anger, “I have no questions for this witness.”

“The witness is dismissed, likely to go clop it to a copy of Soarin' Self Service Shennanigans,” Discord said, laughing as Rainbow Dash flittered up and out of the courtroom, burning with a blush. “Well now Miss Sparkle, what have you got?”

“If I may, your Honor, I have impact witnesses demonstrating the harm of pornography on the average pony, at least the pornography produced under the current laws, thus necessitating more restriction. I have four prepared,” Twilight said.

“Very well, I suppose I can pay attention to some moral purist blathering on about how their lives were impacted by their bad reaction to porn. But try to make it interesting,” Discord said with a roll of his eyes.

“Right, well... I have a few available in the back and one in the gallery,” Twilight motioned to the gallery, Applejack rising and coming to the witness' box. After a quick swearing-in Twilight asked, “Will you please state your name and occupation for the court?”

“Sure can! Mah name is Applejack, apple farmer, rancher an' interested community participant,” Applejack said proudly.

“Ah-ah-annoyingbusybody-choo!” Discord sneezed. Despite the sneeze being fake he still looked down at his hands, appeared shocked by what he saw, looked shiftily around and slowly scraped his palms underneath his desk.

“So...” Twilight said, giving Discord a very disturbed look before turning back to Applejack, “Please tell us about the negative impact that pornography has had on yourself and your family.”

Applejack drew in a deep breath and composed herself before she spoke. "Mah brother got hitched with the local school teacher," She said, "Pornography ruined his marriage. His wife left him. All he wants ta do now is mope around and watch porn videos after he does his work on the farm.” She slammed her hoof down on the stand. “That there pornography is a cancer on our fine society! We gotta do somethin' 'bout it! Make the rules on 'em harder an' harder! They can't keep on hurtin' folk and making pre-verts outta them!”

“See there? Her own brother, fixated on pornography, his mind warped and altered by the disgusting filth the industry creates,” Twilight said, playing to the cameras. She pointed to Pinkie as she trotted to her desk. “Need to cross?”

“Cross what? The street? The ocean? Hot sticky buns?” Pinkie looked confused for a moment before she popped up and in front of Applejack. “Oh! Cross-examine. I see. So... Miss Applejack, if that is your real name; did the pornography jump into your brother's eyes and turn him into a zombie? Sounds like it! That must have been scary. Oh! Or did the tapes leap out of the store and into his hooves? Do they follow him around talking to him until he watched them? SpooOOoooOOooky! Or maybe your brother just likes pornography. I know, kooky! But it might happen.”

Applejack gave Pinkie a deadpan look that bordered on anger. “It ain't that he likes it. Ah'm pleased as peels ta see he ain't shy 'bout procreatin'. Gotta do his part to help propagate the Apple family. But he weren't interested in th' wife the whole family helped him ta court an' land. All he wanted was ta watch porn, 'stead-a doin' his stallionly sire duties an' getting her all good an' knocked up.”

“I see... so it wasn't the pornography, it was just that he married a mare he didn't like. Thank you,” Pinkie said, waving a hoof and hopping away to her desk. “Going to redirect?” Pinkie asked Twilight.

“Ugh... no... Miss Applejack, you are dismissed. I have three minor impact witnesses I have been keeping sheltered in the back, I would like to call them at this time,” Twilight said.

“Oh, children! I always wanted to scar and traumatize children by talking about dirty movies while trying to avoid the very subject. You don't really think you can pull it off, do you, Miss Busybody?” Discord asked, with a grin.

“I can be sensitive and tactful!” Twilight shouted, then took on a sheepish look when she realized everyone was staring at her. “In any event, please call forward the three minors from the back.” After some whispering between Discord and a bailiff the stallion went to the back and brought forward three little fillies. Applebloom, Scootaloo and...

“Sweetie Belle?!” Rarity cried from the gallery on seeing her sister on the stand.

“Hi, sis!” Sweetie cried, waving a hoof over at her sister in the gallery. “I get to be on the stand!” She said proudly, with a voice crack.

“Yes! Three minors impacted by the horrible perversity that reigns supreme under pornography as the law currently allows,” Twilight said loudly, with a sweep of her hoof. She pointed at Sweetie, who waved again, “Here, the poor sister of one of the lascivious stars.” She then pointed to Applebloom, who gave a shy wave, “Here, the sister of the previous witness, likewise affected by the scourge of pornography.” Finally she indicated Scootaloo, “And this! A friend of theirs, a poor, suffering, orphan...”

“Uh,” Scootaloo pulled on Twilight's sleeve, “I'm not an orphan.”

“Yes, this orphan, orphaned by parental neglect and fixation...” Twilight continued.

“Seriously, I have two parents. You met them,” Scootaloo objected.

“Quiet, kid,” Twilight hissed, leaning in close, “Let's not split hairs on the slippery slope of parental neglect. Calling you an orphan plays better for the court.”

“This is dumb! Why should I go along with that? I mean, who would even believe I'm an orphan?” Scootaloo asked with a huff.

“Look...” Twilight said, magically lifting up a picture of a new, all-metal, lightweight, high-performance, professional-grade Equestria-Games-licensed as-advertised-by-Spitfire scooter, “Play ball with me and this thing will be waiting for you behind the bushes in the park next week.”

“Like I said!” Scootaloo shouted suddenly, “I'm just a poor, porn-affected orphan!”

“Objection!” Pinkie cried with an unnaturally loud voice, “Miss Sparkle is clearly tampering with the witness!”

“I'll allow it. Corrupting the morals of a minor, bribery and perjury are rather amusing and rarely seen all at once. Plus it's popular to think the scooty one is an orphan anyhow,” Discord said to himself, idly tossing and catching his gavel.

“Very well,” Twilight said, indicating Applebloom, “Please state your full name for the court and how this dastardly scourge of pornography has affected you.”

Applebloom adjusted the bow in her mane and gave the court her biggest, most pitiable look. “Mah name is Applebloom Apple. Mah... my big brother got hooked on them dirty movies, an' it's all he watches after he's done workin'.” She gave an exaggerated sniff and shook her head. “Mah brother ain't got time to play with me no more. He'd rather play with his willie n' it was all 'cause-a the por-no-graffy,” She said, sounding out the last word, which was scrawled on the back side of one foreleg. She then beamed out towards the gallery and asked, “Did ah say that right, sis?” She got an approving gesture and a nod from Applejack.

“Moving on,” Twilight said, quickly, gesturing to Scootaloo, “Tell us your name and story, poor, disadvantaged orphan.”

Scootaloo cleared her throat and looked out on the gallery. “Uhh, yea! I'm Scootaloo, tough-minded ragamuffin latchkey dead end filly. I'm all tough and tumble and, um, dirty-faced, except when I eat because that would suck.”

“And how did pornography bring you to this state?” Twilight pressed, holding up the scooter picture and partially tearing it.

“Oh! That! Right, yea!” Scootaloo buzzed her wings and waved her hooves to stop the destruction of the image. “Um, my... father got totally hooked on it. And he left the tapes out. I watched one and was horribly traumatized! I told my counselor about... something something, touched the doll or something... and then Foal's Services came and hauled me away and that's why I am totally an orphan.”

Twilight smiled. It didn't matter that what the child said was a lie. Everyone in the courtroom saw through Twilight's little ruse, but it didn't matter. Scootaloo's plight didn't have to be genuine in order to touch the hearts of those who heard it. In a courtroom setting, one convincing bit of poppycock was worth more than a sea of fantastical truths.

"Perception is reality," Twilight thought, "A little white lie every now and again is forgivable, if it progresses the greater good."

“Excellent, excellent,” Twilight said, passing the picture along with a businesslike nod. She then strolled up to Sweetie Belle and smiled. The coup de grace. “And you, please tell the court your name and your relationship to any of the folks you see in court today.”

“My name is Sweetie Belle! And Rarity over there is my big sister!” Sweetie cried, eagerly pointing at a blushing Rarity.

“And do you have anything to say about her and her profession? Some disappointment or... denunciation? Condemnation, perhaps?” Twilight lightly rubbed her hooves together and hid a smile.

“This is almost creepy. And I'm me,” Discord noted, blandly, watching Twilight with a shiver.

“Yea, I've got lots to say.” Sweetie sucked in a deep breath, held it for a moment and then shouted out, “This is so great and amazing! My sister's all pregnant and stuff! I'm going to be an aunt!”

“Wh-what?” Twilight's ear's were still ringing but she had heard it loud and clear. “Did you say what I think you said? Proud but... haven't your mother and father had a talk with out about how bad and naughty her job is?”

“Aww, they don't mind. She has a job and she's happy. My dad says, 'Well, at least she's not out at all hours doin' Celestia knows what, there,'” Sweetie said, affecting her father's accent. “Mom was a little upset she got pregnant without getting married but she understands. And and and! Because the baby's daddy is a Diamond Dog that means that it'll be like getting a niece or nephew and a puppy all at the same time! Best gift ever! My sister's so generous. I guess that's why she has so many boyfriends. Hi!” Sweetie waved to the collection of Diamond Dogs in the gallery, who were all seated around Rarity. The pack waved back, those near enough to Rarity licking at her blushing cheeks.

“I... I... I just don't know what went wrong...” Twilight said in a disbelieving mutter.

“Hey now! No stealing lines from innocent land sharks. Just when I thought you could stoop no lower...” Discord said with contempt.

"We really should consider having a limbo contest after the trial's over," Pinkie said to Twilight, "Sounds like you could give me some stiff competition." Twilight placed her head in her forehooves and sighed.

“Looks like your little coup was something of a counterrevolution, eh, comrade?” Discord put on a fur hat and held up a hammer and sickle. He pointed to Pinkie. “Plan to redirect?”

“Nyet!” Pinkie said, kicking her hooves up on her table and leaning back casually. “She demolished her own case. It would be rude of me to do more. I prefer to do happy things.”

“And I agree! You three charming foals may head on your merry ways, to be mendacious,” Discord pointed to Applebloom, “Avaricious,” He pointed to Scootaloo, “And honestly charming,” He pointed to Sweetie with a smile. The three rushed off, Applebloom to Applejack, Sweetie to an appreciative and welcoming Rarity, and Scootaloo out of the courtroom. “So what have you got for us now, Esquire Pie?”

“Hold it!” Pinkie concentrated hard, her hair temporarily taking on a spiky appearance. A large screen appeared above her head, showing off a grid box of various papers and odd objects. Several screens of the same passed by until one particular cassette tape was highlighted. Pinkie shouted, “Take that!” She then produced the tape itself from one of her pockets and threw it up to Discord.

“Now I am impressed! Honestly, with that bubble pipe I was expecting Sherclop Holmes. Good curve ball,” Discord said with a smile. He looked the tape over and produced a tape player. “What do we have here?”

“It's an insane and incriminating tirade made by Twilight Sparkle showing she was orchestrating the picket line for her own nefarious ends,” Pinkie said, with a casual offhandedness.

“Objection! This is the first we have ever heard of this alleged tape!” Twilight shouted, looking quickly to Spike, who was flipping through the folder containing the summary of exhibits.

“Nope nope nope nope!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing over to the other table and flipping through the file, pointing out one bland notation of a tape recorded at Bare Mare. “Here it is.”

Twilight goggled, and thought back to the pile of things sent to her. “Buried... buried in that pile of junk you sent. I had no time to listen to everything, it would have required filing for an extension and letting the temporary code enhancements lapse.” She glared at Pinkie, then blinked. “That's... brilliant...”

“Hee hee, thanks! I knew I would never need to use it all but could make a valid excuse for the inclusion of every piece,” Pinkie said, with a blush.

“But still... objection! Third-party consent is required for recording,” Twilight said, shaking her head to clear it after staring at Pinkie for a moment.

“The rules of entry, as written by me, for Bare Mare Studios,” Pinkie said, producing a book of rules as well as an oddly large sign seen to be a copy of the poster just inside the studio doors. “Please note the highlighted portions, stating that all third parties entering the building waives a right to privacy and gives their consent to be recorded, in video and/or audio format.”

“Let me see that!” Twilight pulled the book from Discord's hand, scanning over the indicated sections. “This works perfectly with the private property laws... it even takes into account the transient nature of the audio recording in a studio context. And I consented to it.”

Discord was forced to put his powdered wig in his mouth to stifle a case of the giggles. There were few things he found more entertaining than watching a schemer become frazzled and desperate as their world crumbled around them.

“Oh, and the audio engineers gave me a message, umm... 'don't insult folks with microphones then say something you might regret.' I hope that makes sense,” Pinkie said.

Twilight went stiff and thought back to her conversations in the studio. She had a near-eidetic memory and could recall a few points that would embarrass her. “Oh yes... it makes sense...”

Discord hit the button on the tape player. Out of it first emerged Hoity's voice, “It wasn't meant as a compliment. You thought you were invincible, striking down a broad target about which none would care, for fear of their jobs and reputations. Then your remarkable farce, that grand and glorious failure...”

Immediately after came Twilight's voice, “Don't you say it... You've tried my patience long enough. This inspection is over but the matter is far from done. Have you seen the picket line? Pure astroturf. I'm not a degree-holding PoliSci expert for nothing. I pushed the right buttons, beat the right drums and scared the right hayseeds to get their reactionary flanks outside to ruin you. Now they're in the media, continuing the artificially-inflated cycle of outrage. And then the bill will sweep through Parliament...”

There was a sudden grumbling in the gallery, the members of PAP looking surprised and angry, Applejack gasping in shock and horror. Discord clicked the tape off and laughed, “Did you really do that? That was some nice monologing. Were you stroking your pussy while you delivered those lines? Get your mind out of the gutter! I was obviously talking about your cat. I admire your backbone. Pity that was a bit of a backboner move. Oh! I've still got it,” Discord said with a fist pump.

While Twilight blushed deeply and gave occasional concerned looks to the gallery Pinkie was up and pacing. “That sounds entirely premeditated,” Pinkie said with a gesture towards Twilight. “That, in fact, sounds like a personal crusade again porn in general and maybe even Mister Toity in particular. And that is not nice at all! A personal crusade like that is harassment. And that's illegal.”

“She's right, you know,” Discord said, pointing a gavel at Twilight, “Official harassment is a serious civil matter. You'll be tied up in lawsuits for ages. And your name will have a worse stigma than it currently has. The public is already calling you 'Twilight Spar-killjoy.' That bill with your name on it will stink worse than a pornstar's unwashed meat flaps. You'll never get it passed.”

“W-wait!' Twilight shouted, “I can explain! Please, please let me explain. I swear I have an explanation that shows this is not a personal crusade. There's no need for civil charges.”

“Oh very well, I feel like indulging every possible little thing to drag this out. It amuses me,” Discord said. “We'll take a short recess.” He slammed his gavel down and vanished with a flash of light. He reappeared in miniature form, multiple copies of him running around on his podium top, playing on miniature sets of playground equipment. Several of them were even fighting over the tiny swings, like regular children.

Twilight and Spike desperately conversed and flipped through the materials they had, hardly noticing that Pinkie was there, chattering amicably at them and seeming to enjoy herself. In the crowd Applejack was slowly stroking her chin. “She... got me there? She set it up? She didn't care none 'bout what we was doin' an jes needed us ta be on the TV?” She whispered. It's was a shattering revelation, and it really stung her. She was nopony's puppet, but she danced to the tune of some mare she had never met. That bull had been right. No matter how it galled her he had been right. “It ain't gonna happen...” She muttered to herself.

“What ain't gonna happen, sis?” Applebloom asked, looking up at her sister's face.

“Don't matter none to ya, lil one,” Applejack said, ruffling Applebloom's mane. “Jes know ah... ain't so sure we was really doin' the right thing...”

One of the tiny Discord's said, with a rather loud voice, “We'll be right back after some messages.”

Turnabout Porn, Part Two

Up at the judge's podium discord was back to his usual, large self, though he was hovering around casually while the recess was going on. He regarded the gallery audience, which had dwindled during the recess. Applejack was still there, however, having her crisis of faith. Discord noted that with a slight frown. “Oh dear. Not a crisis of conscience. That kind of moral overthinking ruins everything. I hope that country bumpkin busybody continues. Then we could try this in the court of public opinion. I'm much better at manipulating that...”

Pinkie looked over to Discord suddenly, turning away from a conversation she was having with Rarity. “What was that?”

Discord suddenly manifested a halo to look innocent, whistling and twirling his thumbs. "Not that I would ever dare to manipulate anyone or anything for my own purposes. That would be terrible.” He quickly handed something off to Pinkie and gave her a wink. “You know... this trial is a little too settled. Surely you wouldn't mind being a little less... talented?”

Pinkie rubbed her chin and looked up at Discord, unsure of what to think. "He's good..." She finally said, lightly nibbling on what Discord had given her, despite the sudden sprinkling of chocolate milk over her lower half.

"Is that... did he bribe you to sway your focus and capability?" Rarity asked, incredulous.

Pinkie looked down at the object she had. "What? Just because he gave me a cotton candy cloud that rains chocolate milk, and just because I happen to like those things, doesn't mean he bribed me. That's crazy talk."

"Darling, it says 'bribe' right on it," Rarity said with a slight tone of annoyance, pointing to a small bronze plaque on the cloud that prominently displayed the word 'bribe.'

"Well, well... that doesn't prove anything!" Pinkie cried, exasperated. She pulled out a marker and quickly wrote 'virgin' across Rarity's heavily pregnant belly. "Just because you say 'virgin' doesn't mean you are one!"

Rarity scoffed and attempted to wipe the ink from her pristine coat. "But of course not. It was no god that got me in this state... but I must say, all the candidates were quite close..."

Away from the gallery and off in a tucked-away alcove filled with vending machines Iron Will and Fluttershy were continuing their uncomfortable silence. Since that day, and the answering machine message the two had been cool and quiet towards one another, their glances heavy with meaning but neither one breaking the stalemate.

Iron Will looked at one of the coffee machines and pulled some coins from a pouch at his side. “Uh... you want a cup of cocoa?”

“I wouldn't want to impose...” Fluttershy said quietly, not looking towards Iron Will as she answered him.

“Too late,” Iron Will said, with some attempt at a laugh. He passed along a cup of cocoa and dropped another coin into the machine for his own. “Sorry if it's bad. These vending machines don't know how to do anything right.”

“No, no, it's... nice,” Fluttershy said, after giving her cup a little sip. Her face did not indicate it was very nice. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me, it's terrible,” Iron Will said, likewise unimpressed with the drink. He sipped on, however, and continued to give a sour look. “I'm so sorry...”

“It's not your fault. A machine can't match the care of someone making it with care over the stove,” Fluttershy said, pressing on with drinking the brew.

“Not about that... not just about that. About the... phone call...” Iron Will said, mumbling the last bit into his cocoa.

“Oh... that... You... said a lot of things. But... you had too much to drink,” Fluttersy said, “That doesn't count. I once saw Mister Toity drunk. He said a lot of things about being in love with Miss Finish. He didn't remember anything once he was sober again.”

“It... it really counts more than usual. You tell the truth more when you're drunk. You also punch out your own couch but that's a separate matter,” Iron Will said, with another game attempt at humor. “How much do you know about where I'm from?”

“Just what you told me,” Fluttershy confessed, “I've never been a traveler and never learned about other places.”

“Spend any time in Hellas and you'll see plenty of the stern, old Orthod-Ox priests wandering around, with their black robes and big beards. You'd think we were a very religious place. I guess we sort of are, if that means going to the temples and mazes and mooing over this and that,” Iron Will said, momentarily distracted as he remembered that. “Anyhow... we look right and talk a good game of purity and propriety. But... there's still the odd orgy or bit of herding going on. Every good mother cow wants her sons and daughters to hook up and form a family after marrying. Every father bull knows that there might be stray seeds coming in or going out of a marriage. You try to be faithful; you are careful and responsible. Don't bring any diseases in or let them out, don't bankrupt your family, don't make your calves suffer, don't humiliate your cow or bull, don't shame your mother or father. Incidentally, if you're over there, stay away from any bulls folks call a Cadmus or any cows they call a Pandora. Trust me.”

Fluttershy quietly absorbed the information with small nods and contemplative looks. “Oh. O-oh. I see...”

“A child isn't the same thing as marriage... it isn't even the same thing as love. You can have a child by accident, by mistake. A child may link a couple, but that doesn't mean they love each other,” Iron Will said. “I want something that symbolizes love, not just fertility. A marriage sure does that.”

Fluttershy blinked, slowly approaching Iron Will and rubbing her snout along his midsection. “I don't want it to be an accident. I want our child to mean something. To mean we want to be together. That we are together...”

“Do you love me?” Iron Will asked suddenly, gently moving Flluttershy's head to look up at him.

Unable to turn away, Fluttershy trembled softly and looked up at Iron Will with wavering eyes. “I want to... I think I do. But... I've done this job for so long... I don't even know if I love you or I'm just close to you. How would I know?”

Iron Will stared deeply into Fluttershy's eyes, stroking just under them with his thumbs. He hadn't been doing the job as long. But he had done it. He could bridge the gap. “Do you still want to do your job, even though you want to have a baby with me?”

“Y-yes...” Fluttershy replied. She was unsure if that was the right answer, but it was the true one.

“I do too. I like it. It's exciting and I'm good at it. I don't want to give it up, and I never would make you give up something you love. Even doing the Anal Butterfly, fake deflowerings and imitating a ravaged Daring Do, would you still think that making love in my bed or your bed is exciting and... special?” Iron Will asked, somewhat tentatively.

Fluttershy finally smiled and gave a nod. “Is it still special for you?”

Iron Will returned the smile and leaned down for a soft kiss. “It'll never stop being special. I never got aroused by a pony before I met you. I'm still not turned on by them in general. And...” He laughed a little, a small blush coloring his cheeks. “This is going to sound perverted and sappy but... whenever I need to get hard for a porn shoot, thinking of minotaur cows used to do it. Now you do it. You raise me up.”

Fluttershy leaned up to kiss Iron Will on the lips again. “Oh my... thank you. You really flatter me.”

“It's all true,” Iron Will said. “And do you... do you still want me to have you over at my apartment and teach you how to make traditional food? I promise, no meat dishes.”

Fluttershy pressed her head against Iron Will's chest and slowly rubbed her cheek against the solid muscles. “I would even love to go learn from all your aunts.” She felt him tense up, just a bit. But it was significant. “There's... something else, isn't there?”

Iron Will slowly stroked Fluttershy's mane, cradling her lovingly against his belly. “My family... my parents... I told you, just like anywhere else we Hellenes are filled with hypocrisy and pettiness. But we still think a lot of the airs we put on. And there's a lot of talk that passes in those temples and mazes. A reputation can wither and die at one temple brunch. They care about it.”

Fluttershy gave a slow nod, rubbing her cheek against Iron Will's belly again. “I care about you. I... love you. If I have to get married, even in an Orthod-Ox temple, I will. I love you so much I want your family to love me, too.”

Iron Will thought about what she had just said. She was... giving him what he wanted. Had she just chosen to do what he said because she was always so kind and accommodating? She hadn't really understood what it meant to marry him, given the way things really were. She was just thinking about how it was in Equestria. There was still hypocrisy and prevarication in the land, but not the same sort. They didn't accept adultery and have codes of conduct, unspoken though they were.

But no amount of kindness could make someone ignore their own internal misgivings and keep them from showing on their face. Fluttershy's features were pure and happy, a calm kind of happiness that he had seen many times... when she was speaking to him about their relationship and her excitement over what they were planning to do. She was sincere. It was the most wonderful thing Iron Will had ever experienced.

“They want our child to be born in legitimacy. I want to know you love me. We don't need to get married, not now that I understand you love me. I'll take you there someday. It'll make a nice vacation and we can meet my whole family. They'll fawn all over you and our calf.” Iron Will said.

"But, what if they realize our calf was born outside the marriage covenant?" Fluttershy asked.

"If they raise a fuss about us not being married, then they'll never get the chance to see any of us again,” Iron Will said firmly, standing tall and proud, "Grandchildren have a way of melting the most stubborn of hearts."

Fluttershy blushed hotly, as a tear slowly slid down her cheek. “It doesn't mean what I thought. Can it really be like that? Can we be married and still work at this job? I know that there are a few but they stopped working with others. I respect the choice, it makes them closer but... I like the acting, the scenes, the action... not the actors, they can be mean... but I don't mind. I can always come back to you because you care.”

“It's not 'coming back' if we're together. I realize that you're going to perform with others. It's just acting,” Iron Will said with a blithe smile, though the donkey's words came back to him. 'Some things we do to ourselves because we cannot stop ourselves. We could want to do one thing but our nature would always be in the other direction. Jealousy will drive you mad.' “And besides... you would do the same for me. Even if I am with another mare, you wouldn't hold it against me because it's just acting, right?”

“Of course! You're not doing it because you're interested in being close and emotional. You're not doing it from the heart. So it's fine. I know you really... feel for me...” Fluttershy blinked, suddenly comprehending what had always eluded her. “You... love... me...”

“You can trust me to come to you and I can trust you to come to me. We wouldn't even be having affairs like those other folks. We'd be doing a job. Clock in, have sex, clock out, go out on a date,” Iron Will said. 'We may not want to be jealous but it will always fester there, especially if there is no trust... especially if there is no trust... no trust.' That had been the condition the donkey had always emphasized and until now the thing Iron Will had ignored. He had trust. “We're in love, we trust one another. I think... I think the next time the opportunity arises... we'll make a calf.”

“I can't wait...” Fluttershy said, rearing up on her hind legs to lock her lips together with Iron Will's, her wings slowly spreading out wide.

Iron Will's hands were on them in a second, not to maul and molest like some uncouth creature might, but to massage them. He worked carefully over the feathers, primaries down to secondaries, along the coverts, ending gently rubbing the carpal joint between his thumb and index finger.

Fluttershy was moaning up a storm by the time the kiss ended, the two parting with mutual gasps, their tongues still slightly touching until they drew them back and closed their mouths. Iron Will was the first one to speak, a smile on his face. “Think we should head back to the courtroom?”

Fluttershy blushed softly, giving a shy nod of her head. “Y-yes. I should never have been so forward in public.”

“I liked it,” Iron Will said with a wink, “Don't shy away, say what you gotta say. Or do it if that's what it takes. I told you, my methods are guaranteed.”

“They really work,” Fluttershy said, dropping down to all fours and slowly trotting away, followed closely by Iron Will, who had a spring in his step that had been absent for a while.

Back in the courtroom Discord was checking his watch, lightly tapping it with his gavel. He looked up as Iron Will and Fluttershy slipped unobtrusively into the court and took their place in the gallery. “Well it's about time. We need the camera focus, you know! Honestly... they think they can just hog the camera with their plotline...” He rapped the gavel on the podium. “And we're back. Court is now back in session. I believe we had Twilight Sparkle about to yammer on about why she shouldn't be sued into the ground.”

“Ahem. Yes,” Twilight said, adjusting her glasses. She took her place behind the witness stand and looked out on the gallery. “It was never my intention to harass and single-out the studio acting as the face of all pornography in Equestria. I would have done the same for any studio, no matter the identity and ownership...”

“I've heard of this strategy! Admit that you would commit the exact same crime in a different circumstance to show you're not making it personal!” Discord cackled and struck the gavel down a few times. “I pronounce that hilarious! Is this what a degree gets you or did you need extra special training to come up with something this preposterous?”

“Please, your Honor, allow me time to explain,” Twilight pleaded, looking up to Discord.

Discord huffed and waved a hand dismissively. “Fine, fine. Please, go on, Miss Stick-in-the-mud.”

Twilight took a deep breath, regained her composure and returned to her speech. “I would be this insistent no matter what, because this is a most important matter. One of the most important matters. Politics often encompasses very broad and sweeping categories, titanic ideas that have international implications and a sense of immediacy. But really, the little things, the far-reaching things are what matter. The little nudges that, over time, move a nation.

“The mind, the sentient mind, is the most perfect creation in all the world. Nothing that any civilization has produced has come close to matching the jewel which makes all creations possible. Every invention is a pale shade, a cave-wall shadow of the glorious majesty of the real creative force, the mind. This perfect creation is a precious thing, something to be nurtured, developed, grown... and stringently protected.

“There exists out in the world a reef-filled sea of dangers that exist to twist, mislead, bend and break this mind. They are insidious, because they are so appealing. Like Sirens crying from the jagged rocks they sing a sweet song that comes to be the dirge of the decent and rational mind. Their particulars are many, but they trace back to broad heads like the tributaries of great rivers. They are called drugs, alcohol, and perversion.

“They steal the function of the mind, piece by piece, each use twisting and mangling the perfect and stable mind. The alteration, no matter the source, is intolerable to anyone that appreciates the functioning intellect. Drunken revelry, drug-fueled mania or porn-saturated lasciviousness, all are a breaking of the civilized intellect which breaks down civilization itself. These twists and breaks create crime and mayhem, hacking away at the base of a wondrous society and reducing it to a muddy, bloody, uncouth and lawless place.

“Those who intentionally inflict such on themselves are bad enough. They make the decision to destroy their perfect minds in the pursuit of cheap thrills or forgetfulness. These sad, pitiful fools think that with enough liquor, drugs or pornography they will fill a void in their pathetic lives. They destroy themselves for nothing. Tragic, but it affects only them. The harm comes when we, in our foolish drive to coddle such thoughtless creatures enshrine the right to poison minds.

“A hundred images of them, a thousand, a million are not enough. An ocean of spilled ink on the effects is meaningless. Others will follow their misguided appetites down the primrose path to perdition. One little drink, how could it harm? Just a little puff from a Joke-joint, how could it hurt? Just one dirty movie alone, what could that do? That is the end. One taste is all it takes to turn the mind from blissful purity with full clarity and potential into a hazy, shadowed mockery of what it had been, filled with an ever-growing hunger for the sampled degeneracy.

“All vices are terrible but pornography is the worst of all. The others are too base, too blatant to claim the top of the scale for horrible impact. Alcohol shows ill effects, in vomiting and accidents and poisoning. Drugs conjure images of overdoses, ruined lives and rampaging physical decrepitude. But pornography... pornography is slick and insidious. It passes like a creeping specter and crouches in the back of the mind, snaking tendrils of transgression and stabbing subtle claws of corruption into every fold and node.

“In order to procreate, intercourse must occur. Sex is a necessary evil, which has been taken over by an unnecessary evil." Twilight said as she glared at Hoity Toity. “But while it must exist it must never be allowed to occupy the consciousness. That is what pornography does. It takes the fleshy appetites that burn in every mind and thrusts them sharply to the forefront of everyday life. While in a clean mind they could have been ignored or sublimated into more productive activities, the creeping specter of pornography creates a filthy mentality that cannot think of anything else. The mind must have more! It must be saturated! And as the mind goes, so goes the body!

“Truly it is, the mind is a wonderful thing when chaste. Only when chaste and pure, untainted by any of the warping factors, can we create a truly beautiful society, a shining, glorious example of...”

Discord banged his gavel suddenly, interrupting Twilight. He had grown a large, white beard and given himself a wrinkled, elderly appearance. “You gonna wrap it up in under a hundred pages, John Galt? We've got a real plot to move along here, not some dime-store rag suitable for a doorstop.”

“B-but, I wasn't finished,” Twilight said, looking on Discord with frustration.

“Believe me, you're finished. And if I say so, well, that's how it goes,” Discord said, popping back to his usual look. “That almost sounded like your own version of masturbation. I'll bet that's what you do on the weekends, eat some health food, drink distilled water and clean-talk yourself to orgasm.”

“Clean-talk to orgasm! That's a good one!” Pinkie giggled, on her back and rolling around in a very unprofessional manner.

Twilight's cheeks burned with humiliated blushes and she seethed as she returned to her desk. After a moment of flipping through her papers and other objects she came up with a plain, blank disc. “You want to make a mockery out of the august matter of justice? Then have a parody right in your face!”

“Hmm? What's this now?” Discord asked, levitating the disk to himself. He wrapped it up in a magical field, his eyes turning static-filled as the disc spun around. “Oh my... oh I see. You certainly are flexible, Miss Sparkle.”

“That is not me,” Twilight said with an angry huff. “That disgusting exercise is called 'Loosening the Tight-Twat,' as the crude title card indicates. It came to my attention not that long ago, thanks to my faithful assistant Spike, who somehow managed to acquire a copy.” Spike did his best to hide under the table, though Twilight hardly noticed. “It was made by some actors at Bare Mare Studios, with a Changeling being cast in the role that I occupy.”

“What?!” Pinkie was on her hooves in a flash, and looking frantically at Hoity and Photo, who only shrugged their shoulders. “My clients had no knowledge of the making of that. I sure didn't. It actually sounds like fun...”

“Oh for pan's sake,” Iron Will said quietly to Fluttershy as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers in irritation, “I Was afraid something like this would happen. Mocking her only makes us look petty and adds more fuel to the fire.”

“Mimic's never had much respect for the feelings of others,” Fluttershy said softly, “Or personal space, for that matter. I'm not surprised she'd do something like this.”

“So a Changeling disguised herself as you and filmed a porno?” Discord asked, “You should take it as a compliment. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“Please note, your Honor, that actors aren't wearing any form of protection, as required by the law at that point in time. That kind of violation imposes fines, penalties, and casts a serious pall over the industry as a whole,” Twilight said, with a certain smugness.

“Objection!” Pinkie shouted, pointing one hoof at Twilight before she slammed both down on the table. “That was produced without the knowledge or consent of the studio! That means the ones that made it were just doing what they wanted! And it falls under parody, which is funny! And legal.”

“Parody is protected by law you know.,” Discord said, as he continued to watch the video while munching on popcorn, “And as offensive as you may find it, it is clearly meant as a parody of you. I mean, could you really fit that many bananas in there? And even with all that butter and the ropes could you really perform that move with that many others that close to you in that position?” Discord asked, still watching the video.

“Oh I know parody is protected by law. That's not my objection. One of the minor, overlooked laws I had passed in preparation for the Penile Code regarded distribution of pornographic materials and the production of the same by third parties. Even these kinds of amateur sexual escapades, or 'sex-capades' have to obey certain regulations if they are distributed to anyone but the producers, which means when my assistant got a copy the whole game changed,” Twilight said.

“She's good,” Pinkie noted to Hoity and Photo.

“I'm just getting warmed up,” Twilight noted, with a winning smile to Pinkie, “This adult parody was made off-hours using studio equipment. Talk about a legal minefield! There must be an investigation of who knew what. At the very least there was misappropriation of resources, not to mention the violations for not following regulations. If the parties in question aren't fired, well, that should be good fodder for a negative PR campaign.”

“I'm afraid she has you there. There is some shaky ground going on here. I think I wasted a chocolate raincloud, it looks like she was ready to clobber you anyhow,” Discord said to Pinkie. “I am nowhere near decided on this matter but I think I may start favoring this little collection of laws. But now that you both have each other's ovaries in your pockets would you care to go on? Miss Sparkle, for that brilliant display, I'll let you call up a witness if you would care to do so.”

“Of course, your honor. I would like to call up someone who, I believe, shows off the most pressing need for extra protections and precautions. She is working in a wholly unacceptable state, and demonstrates the selfish mindset that would be fixed by the Penile Code. The porn actress known as Rarity,” Twilight said, pointing to a very shocked Rarity in the gallery.

Gasps and murmurs reverberated off the walls as Rarity stood up. Photo Finish held her breath.

“My word, this is a complete surprise,” Rarity said as she awkwardly made her way to the stand. She seemed to be rather nervous about it all, sweating noticeably and fanning herself using a piece of paper and her magic, “I only expected to be called by the esteemed Miss Pie. We were just going over the substance of her questions during the recess.”

“Woah! Watch out for the Pap Smear Blimp! No wonder you wanted to call this one up, Miss Sparkle,” Discord said with great humor. “It looks like she got a little to into her job. Or the job got into her. And no, I do not apologize for that line.”

“Hmph! I realize you are a spirit of chaos but you need not be so rude. It is most unbecoming of a member of the judiciary,” Rarity said, bouncing her mane and lifting her snout in the air while still fanning herself.

“Oh, my apologies my little knocked-up-out-of-wedlock-by-a-wholly-different-species pony,” Discord said with a grin, “But that won't affect you at all, I can tell. You seem proud of yourself. The vast array of potential fathers are all out there with you at this moment and your own sister seems to think you are the bee's knees or the cat's pajamas or the dog's bollocks or whatever animal comparisons the kids are making these days.”

Rarity glared daggers up at Discord. “You did that on purpose. You horrible creature.”

“I just love self-righteousness from someone like you,” Discord said with a dismissive wave, “You think you're so good, so noble, so righteous... alright fine, so you are! You've abandoned prejudices seen in most ponies, haven't got a jealous bone in your body and your mane is silky smooth with lots of life and bounce. Folks like you make me gag, so stuffed with all that moral fiber. You're like moral constipation.” Discord poked one finger into his mouth and mimed gagging.

“If... if I may?” Twilight, riding high on the rush of her turning things around, was starting to lose a bit of her glow as she was ignored in favor of the little war of pique between Discord and Rarity. “I have questions and comments.”

“Oh, right, the court things,” Discord said, laughing a bit, “I forget. After all, usually I'm making children cry and tripping grannies... in video games! Video games...” He put on his innocent halo again and looked out on all the disbelieving faces.

“Right... anyhow... Miss Rarity?” Twilight looked curiously at Rarity. She was repeatedly sitting and standing, her carefully-curled tail rapidly whipping about. “Is there something wrong? Are you, perhaps... under the influence of mind-altering drugs or alcohol or suffering the withdrawal of the same?”

“Ha! Do not be... do not be absurd, Miss Sparkle! I have never taken any drug in my life that was not prescribed by a physician... oh my... and I have not touched a single drop of alcohol since finding I was with pup!”

“Then how do you explain all the symptoms you manifest? Physical discomfort, uncontrollable twitching, diaphoresis, symptoms of the trailing end of usage of chemical substances,” Twilight said with a certain force, speaking more to Discord and the gallery than Rarity herself.

“I cannot properly explain but... but I can assure you it was not... the horrid... reasons that you... AH!” Rarity's sharp cry was punctuated by a splash that echoed around the room and drew numerous shocked gasps. “O-oh my word...”

“Cleanup, aisle one!” Discord shouted into his gavel, which acted like a loudspeaker.

“W-what was that?!” Twilight asked at high volume.

“I... I think my water just broke,” Rarity stammered out.

“Stop joking,” Twilight said.

“It is no joke. My puppy is coming! I-it is happening!” Rarity shouted, half in delight and half in fear. “My pup is coming! Someone film this most glorious moment! I will not lose this moment! I wish to see my child being born!”

There was a general, confused scramble following the sudden cry. As one the pack of Diamond Dogs thundered over the dividing fence and rushed to the witness box, right to Rarity's side. Spike had been hesitating, fully intent on reaching her, but not sure if he could handle her birthing a pup in front of him. Hoity was up in an instant, commandeering a news camera and knocking down the reporter holding it. “Terribly sorry, chap,” Hoity said by way of apology as he dashed off, “But the artiste in me recognizes the need and propriety of capturing this moment.”

“Just... just breathe...” Butch said, stroking Rarity's mane comfortingly.

“Here we are, capturing the magic moment,” Hoity said, placing the camera very close to Rarity's slightly-dilated vulva.

“You can't do that!” Twilight shouted, “That camera's broadcasting live! It's completely obscene!”

“Think of the ratings,” Discord said, amusing, while eating more popcorn.

“This is so wrong,” Twilight said bitterly.

“Shut it!” Rarity, Hoity and all the Dogs shouted in reply.

The pack was in motion almost as one. Butch continued to stroke Rarity's head, softly whispering into one ear; the small black Dog whispered in her other ear while he massaged her neck; the two long, lank Dogs worked on her shoulders; Rex and another of the Dig Dogs were down holding up, kissing and stroking Rarity's front hooves; the last two Dig Dogs were softly massaging her belly as she arched and twitched.

“I feel... I- oh!” Rarity shuddered hard, the males increasing the pace and desperation of their comfort. The camera's eye caught the sight of Rarity's vagina opening slight, the amnion peeking out, the semi-transparent membrane showing a single paw and a small nose.

Twilight looked on the scene in awe. These were sleaze-saturated pornographers, low and base creatures that spread filth and perversion. They ruined and destroyed minds, they poisoned society, they... Rarity let out a high pitched whine, all eight canines wincing and looking to be in great pain. The sound was not an isolated event but was continual, the noise of her reaction to birth. Even though the noise hurt the sensitive ears of the Dogs they remained, doing their best. They... cared.

“P-please!” Twilight said, “Let me come through! I can help.”

“Really, Miss Sparkle?” Hoity asked, incredulously, “You would help perversion-mongers like us?”

Twilight sighed, trotting forward slowly. “Please... I can see it's... genuine concern you have for Rarity and her child. I can help. I minored in obstetrics. If there's an issue...”

“There should be an issue!” Rarity suddenly shouted, her rear legs slowly lowering, the Dogs all helping her slowly go to the ground and onto her side. “I should be issuing this pup right this moment!”

“Right, right...” Twilight, leaned in close, using her magic to properly illuminate the area. “She's on the right track. Right now you two should feel abdominal contractions. If that stops, tell me, there may be a problem. Alright, set up a rhythm, breathe out slowly and push only when you feel like you really need to do so. Your contractions should carry you. You've already got part of the amnion out.”

The court went mostly silent, save for the whining and loud breathing of Rarity, as well as the soft coos and comforting words of the Dogs that attended to her. Twilight did not need to speak, as the birth was proceeding along properly. She had only theoretical, rather than practical experience, and more for ponies than Diamond Dogs, but nothing seemed all that unusual. The pup was emerging slowly, paws first followed by the head. The only factor slowing things was the tightness of Rarity's vaginal tunnel. She moved things along, but wasn't going all that fast.

Iron Will and Fluttershy say at the front of the gallery and watched the miracle of birth. Iron Will lovingly rubbed Fluttershy's forehoof as she rested it on his leg.

“Oh my...” Fluttershy said as she stared, transfixed, “Rarity's being stretched so wide. She'll have to stick to anal for at least six weeks, until her vagina gets tight again.”

More and more of the pinkish membrane emerged, wrapped semi-loosely around the slowly-moving pup within. Each inch of emergence was marked by a sharp whine and following sigh from Rarity, and another cuddle from the pack. Twilight was first worried about how she would cradle the pup as it slipped towards the floor, but the matter was resolved by Photo strolling up with her jacket clenched in her teeth. “You were not expecting the child to lay on the floor, were you?” She said, offering it up into Twilight's magical grip.

As the piece of clothing slipped under the pup, and was taken up by one of the Dogs, Rarity gave a strained, but real, smile. “Th-thank you Miss Finish. That... is a grand gesture.”

“No mere geshture... what ish right und proper...” Photo nodded her head and turned back, to stand with Hoity, who was regarding her with a sidelong glance and a slight smile.

A few more whines and sighs followed before the pup finally emerged, wholly wrapped in its membrane cocoon and dripping with amnionic fluid. “I must see! I must see my sweet pup!” Rarity cried, adding a soft nicker, turning her head and trying to crane her neck down to see.

“Just a moment...” Twilight used her magic to split the membrane and let the mobile puppy out into the air. Once the membrane had split the pup released soft, pleading whimpers. Its eyes were closed, its ears pulled down, body slightly curled. She slipped the amnion off completely and carefully wrapped the pup in the jacket, levitating the small figure up to Rarity's head. “It's a girl.”

Discord had left his podium and was standing behind Twilight. He held an old-timey video camera to record the precious moment.

“Awww, I had the lens cap on,” Discord said, in mock sadness, “Miss Sparkle, would you be a dear and put the little bitch back where she came from so I could record her birth?”

“Don't worry,” Hoity said to Discord, “I captured the whole thing on film.”

“Oh fine,” Discord said petulantly as he threw his camcorder away and put on a pair of 3D glasses, “I guess I'll just have to wait for the DVD release.”

Rarity gasped softly as the pup settled into her legs. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on the tiny face. “A girl... My sweet little one... even with her eyes shut and ears pulled back I can see her father in her... Butch. Our daughter...”

Butch tentatively reached out and placed a paw on the squirming pup, breath coming in short pants. “Our daughter...”

The entire courtroom, which had been silent and filled with tension erupted in cheers as the uncertainty broke and everything seemed to be well. Applejack was standing looking, in some sense, oddly proud as she watched the scene unfold. Applebloom was beside her, looking curious. “Sis? Why do ya look so happy?” The little filly asked.

“Ya see that there?” Applejack asked, directing her sister to look at Rarity and the Dogs fawning over the small pup. “That right there is family. Sure it ain't so usual. But that there is love an' carin' over bringin' a brand new life inta the world. And there ain't nothin' at all finer than that. Ah weren't none too fair ta them folks. They really know what family's all about.”

Sweetie was allowed to approach her sister after the birth, the little filly approaching tentatively. Rarity smiled to her sister and held the pup out a bit. “Sweetie... come meet your little niece.”

“Wow...” Sweetie said, very softly stroking the puppy's head and getting a pleased coo. “She's so little. I can't believe I'm an aunt...”

“You are my sister, Sweetie,” Rarity said with a tired pride, “A most noble and upright pony. I am most certain you will make a wonderful aunt...”

Photo approached Hoity and nudged at his flanks. “Und how ish our shtarlet?”

“Happy, comforted, relieved,” Hoity replied, still manning the camera. He was no longer focused on Rarity's privates but was panning the camera around the happy scene. “This footage is made of heart and beauty. Seldom do I have the chance to capture imagery like this. It truly makes me feel like the artist I claim to be.”

“Ja, heart, beauty...” Photo watched the scene with a sort of detachment, her neutral face and dark glasses hiding any indications of her feelings. “Truth. The truth denied by they who buy our moviesh. They would never believe. But now they musht. How could they not?”

“Do I detect a change of heart, Miss Finish?” Hoity asked, with a bit of a chuckle.

“You mock but... Fraulein Rarity told me they had beautiful heartsh, that they were caring, wonderful loversh. I did not believe. I could not believe. Und now... I cannot shtop believing. Liebchen... I wash wrong...”

“You and the rest of the audience. But you have surpassed the curve. I confess, I was weak. I did not challenge, because I felt what we did sufficed. True, I used your numbers, but I chose what I did with those numbers,” Hoity said, “I was a poor artist, who never dared to try.”

“Once she ish recovered we have to rectify that,” Photo said, watching the scene with a slight smile. “Maybe we can make it work. Und if not, at leasht we tried.”

Spike had not moved since his selfish indecision had paralyzed him. He had remained behind the defense table the whole time, watching the scene with a mix of hatred, envy and shame. It should have been him. But it wasn't him. That wasn't his child, and his comfort was not what had gotten Rarity through the birth.

“Aren't they just something?” Discord's voice whispered softly in Spike's ear, a tiny version of his mouth settled beside it, giving a properly serpentine smile.

“They're... not so great...” Spike replied, his emotional confusion making him miss that he appeared to be speaking to himself.

“That's what they all say,” Discord said, “Right before they are beaten. Better, stronger, more loving, more pure in their intentions. The damsel was never in distress but you rode out on your quixotic errand anyhow, little white knight. How did that go?”

“She said she was disappointed with me. She chose them over me. When I was there, when I thought she would need me... she picked them,” Spike was looking less angry, the envy and shame all the stronger. He wanted to be them. He wanted what they had. He wanted that allowance. On seeing one of the Dig Dog's lick across Rarity's cheek he felt a sudden tightness in his trousers. He had imagined what could follow that lick because the big Dog was free to have her as he wished. Those Dogs could have what he could only dream of.

Discord's tiny mouth smiled even wider beside Spike's ear. “So then... who's the Barbecued Knight in Shining Armor now?”

Twilight was just away from the camera, standing back from the scene, as her duty was done. She still believed in the wondrous purity of the mind, but she could see past the paper-thin characters she had cast in her heroic puppet play. They were round, full creatures, full of potential. They lived in a strange world of perverse debauchery yet clearly understood love, caring, unity. And if the crazy pink one was any indication, they had plenty of intellect.

There wasn't much for her to do, as the birth had gone well. She'd just need to pack her things and go. She turned to go back to her table when she ran smack into Pinkie. “Hi!” The Pink pony cried.

“Oh! Yes... Miss Pie,” Twilight blushed a bit and stepped back, “I want you to know that I will be pulling all my support from the proposal. Your objections can stand and the Penile Code will die after moderate Parliamentary debate.”

“That's nice. Wanna get cupcakes?” Pinkie asked, bouncing around Twilight blithely.

“What?” Twilight looked at Pinkie incredulously.

“Or you can come have some free candy! It's in my windowless van,” Pinkie said, with a gigantic smile. “It's kinda gloomy but it can fit everyone. It's how we got here. And I keep it full of free candy. I just have to be careful no one tries to steal it because I wrote 'Free Candy' on it, so I would always remember.”

Twilight thought about the offer for a moment. “You know... I think I might like that. I need to learn about your techniques. As an autodidact I always take any learning opportunity, especially when I can see such obvious skill. Some candy and cupcakes might be a good way to absorb some information. In some fashion you can function even despite a questionable diet. I need to learn how.”

“Great!” Pinkie hooked a leg around Twilight's back. “So did you pledge a sorority at University?”

“Actually, I did. Not because I was enthusiastic about it,” Twilight said quickly, “But because it looks better on a resume. I pledged, got in and never participated. I was a member of Lambda Epsilon Zeta.”

Pinkie let out a tremendous gasp and looked deep into Twilight's eyes. “Are you loco in the coco? You pledged with them? Folks will think you're weird!”

“W-well, what did you pledge?” Twilight asked, suddenly slightly fearful of her choices.

Pinkie returned to trotting casually away with Twilight. “Lambda Epsilon Zeta.”

Epilogue: Director's Cut- Additional Scene

Spike's story did not quite finish with him as a cuckold without a wife. He performed his evening masturbation with regularity, but always varying amounts of satisfaction. Some nights he was actually happy about watching better men have Rarity, roughly or gently. He was both outdone by them and working through them. Some nights, though, there was just something missing. He could get to climax, but not feel the full satisfaction.

One evening, his partially-satisfied onanism was interrupted by a sudden, rather firm knock at his door. He grumbled and paused his video, throwing a robe over himself at his half-interested erection, which slowly grew flaccid as he strolled from his living room to the front door. “What do you want?” He yelled, as he yanked the door open.

On the other side of the door was the Changeling employee of Bare Mare Studios, Madam Mimic. She was dressed in a tasteful pink dress, large straw sunhat with silk roses on one side, and a tasteful silver necklace. She looked quite shocked by the angry response to the knocking, but she slapped a smile over her surprise and said, “Hello there, Mister Spike. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Madam Mimic. Please, call me Mimic.”

“What? What are you..? Oh, you're that one from the studio, that did all those school assemblies and stuff. Yea, I remember,” Spike said, his anger fading to annoyance, “Look, I don't know what you want but I'm a bit busy...”

Mimic noted the hastily-applied, disheveled look of the robe and the cheap dog collar with the heart-shaped metal tag proclaiming 'Bitch.' “I... see... I just wanted to say I was sorry.”

“'Sorry?' Look... I know how I come off but I thought that movie was hilarious!” Spike said, a smile cracking his annoyed features. “It was totally what Twilight needed, though I guess spending time in a windowless Free Candy van is doing something for her. So never mind...”

“Not for that,” Mimic said quickly, “It was... what I did on set. Imitating Rarity and making you think she was laughing at you. She, uh, is way nicer than that. It's part of her charm.”

Spike gave Mimic a deadpan expression and slammed the door in her face. Before he could turn around there was a desperate knocking sat the door. “Do you mind? I'm trying to have a good evening.”

“Please, open the door,” Mimic said, “I need to do this face-to-face. I'm really, honestly sorry for what I did.”

Despite his misgivings Spike opened the door again and peered at Mimic. “Tell me why I should keep talking to you.”

“I want you to know I did it because you threatened my job,” Mimic said, with a hint of bitterness, “I love that job. Hoity's tough but fair, I get to act and use my changing abilities in all kinds of creatives ways, but I can also enjoy delicious sexual passion, something I wouldn't get in regular movies. I have it all and I... I was a little upset. I thought it was funny.”

“It wasn't funny,” Spike said coldly, snorting a small cloud of green smoke.

“I know... they were going too far, even at the start. They treated you like crap and you're right to be angry about it. Maybe it won't mean anything but... they finally confessed what they did to you, told Rarity every thing they did... appropriately enough they were in the doghouse. Butch included,” Mimic said with a little chuckle.

Spike likewise chuckled, ego returning just enough to give him a rush of Schadenfreude. The idea of chastened Dogs was very appealing, despite the fact that he normally let their images overpower him. “Serves them right.”

“Yea... about that...” Mimic said, slowly slipping slightly into the door frame to keep the door from being shut. “They were being assholes, yea, no question. But... she forgave them all the same. She was mad, she thought they were quite wicked and had overstepped their bounds, badly. But she understood why they did it, and knew their hearts were in the right place... even if their brains were not.”

Spike snorted again, intending to close the door but noticed Mimic was in the way. He pushed at her, trying to shift her out of the way. “I don't need to hear this shit... I have important political crap to get to.”

Mimic lightly jangled Spike's tag with a chitinous hoof. “I see that you're very busy. The thing is they were threatened even more than me. And I was pissed off enough to be an absolute bitch to you. Sorry about calling you a lump-in-the-pants phony, it was accurate but extreme.”

Spike grabbed his tag and turned away quickly, stepping into the living room while a blush rose on his cheeks. “What are you talking about? I was going after their jobs too. And yea, I wanted Rarity, I wanted to show her I could be the man she wanted, her knight in shining armor, to save her from those Dogs. They're just... beasts...”

“I think that's what you misunderstand. Their jobs? They would go back to mining, they're still trained and kept up certification. They like the sex, we all do, it's why we do it. That was never the point. They're a pack. They protect their pack, and are not going to be gentle about it,” Mimic said, gently closing the door and following Spike.

“So they all ganged up on me because I was trying to... send them to different mines? They could probably stay a pack. Pretty weird pack, seems more like a boy's club,” Spike noted, with some confusion, quickly shutting off his television.

“You were not just threatening them, you tried to take away the center of the pack. The nucleus. The heart. Rarity,” Mimic said softly, approaching Spike. “She isn't just some porn star that sleeps with them a lot, and they aren't just some perverted sex-hounds. They're her pack, they're her whole life, and she's theirs. Why do you think she was so happy about that pup? She was the real representation of the love they share.”

Spike winced and tugged on his metal tag. “I get that now. I get it. She told me as much...”

“You brought it on yourself,” Mimic said, somewhat harshly, “You tried to break them apart, seemingly because you're a jerk-ass. You came in there talking purity, acting like a hypocrite, and hitting on Rarity with an insincere passion. That's why I said you were a phony. Is it wrong to say that you tried to do to them what they eventually did to you... 'Bitch'?”

Spike growled and turned on Mimic, baring his teeth and lightly snorting fire. “You get out of here! I didn't ask you in! Get out before I call the cops!”

“That answers my question. You wanted her like some kind of prize, and you were probably happy about the idea of making yourself better than all of them. Well I hope you like the price of being an insincere schemer. You wanted to cuck them all, grab Rarity and stand there looking cool and powerful and successful. You didn't. They had something real and no amount of dashing knight crap could have changed it,” Mimic spoke harshly, stomping her way to the door. “I wanted to imagine you were more mature than that, that you were a normal guy that just had a temporary bout of insanity. But you're just... evil.”

“Wait!” Spike held a claw out, “'Evil'? Seriously? I'm not evil. How can you even say that?”

“You tried to steal a mare, with malice, from the ones that loved her, and who she loved, all while looking at the mare like a trophy. That's evil,” Mimic hissed.

“I just wanted some love!” Spike cried. “She was beautiful, she was nice, and I swear she came onto me!”

“She's nice to everyone but her heart belongs to her pack. I know you hate it but you're not special, not the kind of special that would make her throw away all her love and all her past, with the men that care for her and who were the potential fathers of her baby. That's just not realistic. That happens in movies. Bad ones,” Mimic said, her magic turning the doorknob while she looked back at Spike. “So you can wallow in your self-pity and be a weak little creature. Like I said... I came here because I felt bad about what I did. Now I wonder if I should have been worse.”

Spike curled his fingers into a fist, trembling a little as he watched Mimic. “I didn't have anyone else. Twilight's just my boss, no other mares look twice at me, I just... I have this job, I do high-level stuff and I'm just... seen as a slimy power-broker or as the toady to 'that raving bitch.' What else could I do? I already had a job to do. I figured... they were just fuck-buddies.”

“Well now you know,” Mimic said, her magical aura fading. “Have you ever considered a prostitute? If that's all you want that's fairly easy to manage.”

“'Scandals vitiate the capability to remain effective in the political arena,' was something that Twilight always told me. It was why we could never drink, never smoke, and never do anything even moderately questionable,” Spike said. “I still have a job. I can't afford some Canterlot madame making a mint off of my name in a tell-all or dropping a few years in a plea deal. But dating's tough when you're looked at as either a prude or a scumball.”

“I see your point. In that case... can I get you a martini? You've probably got at least some gin and vermouth in this place,” Mimic said, entering the kitchen and pulling open cabinets with her magic.

“What?” Spike stood at the door to the kitchen, giving a completely disbelieving look.

“You're wearing a collar that says 'Bitch', you're watching a girl you obsessed over getting fucked by guys that humiliated you, you're wallowing in self-pity and loathing. You need a drink,” Mimic replied, finding and pulling down two martini glasses and a cocktail shaker.

“But... seriously? Just walking in and telling me this?” Spike still looked disbelieving, but he went to a cabinet and dug around, pulling out a bottle of gin and a bottle of vermouth. “I prefer Cosmos or a Manehattan...”

“I reiterate, you're wearing a collar calling you a bitch, jerking it to the woman that hated you and the guys that beat you, and you're telling me you drink Cosmopolitans sometimes. You need a woman to walk in and take control of you. You're not going to object. I could clip a leash to that and you'd be fine with it. But I won't. I know what you need and I'll give it to you. Are we clear?” Mimic didn't even look at Spike as she spoke, focusing on mixing the gin and vermouth in the shaker, enough for two glasses.

Spike was quiet for a while, staring as Mimic shook up their drinks. He then smiled brightly and gave a salute. “Yes, ma'am!”

“Good boy,” Mimic said with a smirk, using some magic to stroke Spike's crest, pouring out the two martinis. “And don't worry, I'll even let you be on top sometimes. Just remember to wear that collar now and then.”

Epilogue: Just another day in paradise

What they all came to after...

Discord was thanked for his service to the crowns and his handling of the admittedly unusual situation in court. Though reports told of his capriciousness, illogic and pique that was all dismissed. Discord was Discord and could not have acted any differently. The peaceful and efficient resolution had given him leeway.

Minister Blueblood came back to work, as expected, with his wife pregnant. They somehow managed to pick a screenwriter while never leaving their honeymoon suite or admitting anyone in. 'Minister Melonhead' was the romantic comedy hit of the year and won many notable awards, despite starring no big names.

Rainbow Danger Dash was fired from her position as Twilight Sparkle's security detail when it was discovered that Rainbow Dash had installed toilet-mounted video cameras in the bathroom of her employer's office. Rainbow still does freelance security work for lower-end ponies who don't want a lot of questions asked. She's acquired a collection of hidden camera videos and clops off to them with regularity.

Granny Smith and Grampy Zeke continued their love affair. The family never knew that it was an adulterous affair that was given legal sanction after their marriage. They continued to speak in support of morals and propriety.

Gilda and Trixie continued to work at Bare Mare until they were able to take their money and open a bar. Despite a slow start they eventually built it into a popular night spot that attracted a good class of clientele.

Spike never acknowledged what had changed in him that day at court, but it had happened to him all the same. Discord only made him aware of what he had been considering all along, since his dismissal at the studio.

The dragon took to going home after his days of power-brokering and deal-cutting, sitting down and putting on a Rarity movie. He had become a cuckold. Long distance, true, involving a woman who probably had forgotten he existed, with tops that had not even bothered to keep insulting him after he had stopped trying. But he was subdued, denuded, subjugated and made to see his superiors be with the woman he wanted.

He was shameless in his desperate masturbation in the evenings, not just accepting the Dogs as his superiors but savoring it. Whenever Spike masturbated he wore a dog collar around his neck which said 'Bitch' on it. If the Diamond Dogs overpowered him he could enjoy having them as his surrogates. He was fucking Rarity as they were, and she was getting the best. It was an odd situation, but he had never been more pleased with his sex life.

Applejack gained a new and greater appreciation for her brother. Able to see past her imprinted ideals she realized that her brother had always been a quiet loner, and had never been much for dating because of it. The unspoken understanding they had was that his marriage had never worked, even when they gave every appearance of being deliriously happy. Family expectation had proven to be a potent motivator.

The strange new relationship had allowed them to no longer be bitterly divided. Their teamwork around the farm improved dramatically and the happiness of the family increased all around, though Granny and Grampy didn't change their minds, as they just refused to hear any new explanations. Another new changed came up in the evenings.

After work, when Big Macintosh would settle down for his evening session of pornography, Applejack would join him. Her conversation with Iron Will, as well as realizing that the folks at the studio really knew what a family was, had made her want to see just what it was all about. She had found it to be appealing. So much variety, so many things she had never even known existed or considered before. The two would occupy two different sides of the couch before the television, Big Macintosh watching the hard action while slapping his penis on his belly and stroking with a forehoof, while Applejack focused fully on the mounting of mares and eagerly flicked her clit while working the soft folds of her maresex. They never looked at one another and they never touched one another. The two siblings kept their eyes glued to the tube and enjoyed their simultaneous masturbation. It was innocent, pure, and enjoyable.

Twilight did get into Pinkie's windowless Free Candy van. She gorged herself on delicious fresh-baked cupcakes and all the candy she could stand, while learning about the finer points of creating technically-relevant evidence lists in order to hide vital pieces meant to be overlooked. She also got advice for how to justify nearly any motion and how to get quick-turnaround amicus briefs no matter how short the notice.

Pinkie convinced Twilight to harmlessly experiment with shared genital stimulation and sloppy kissing. Twilight had missed that part of the sorority but had always heard about it. The straight-laced mare was clumsy and imperfect at it, about the only thing in which she hadn't minored. But she did her best and was praised highly for her firm kisses and cute blushes.

Twilight remained mostly frigid and disinterested in the more emotional aspects of carnality, but she found she enjoyed cupcakes, candy, windowless vans and learning. Though Pinkie often grated on her and could lose focus easily she knew all the tricks of the legal trade. She kept coming back for more knowledge and sugar.

In an effort to save face Twilight extended an ultimatum to Hoity Toity. Twilight agreed to withdraw the Penile Code on one condition. She wanted a representative from the studio to travel around schools throughout Equestria and give a presentation on safe sex and proper condom use. In a passive-aggressive act of vengeance on the porn parody, Twilight suggested that the Changeling, Mimic, be the one to address the students about the dangers of STDs.

Hoity was only too happy to get Mimic out of the studio, as he was suspicious that she had been the one who had been stealing anal lube from the supply closet. He wouldn't have her arrested for theft or misuse of company cameras, as long as she agreed to do Twilight's community service and speak in schools.

Hoity and Photo had learned their lessons. Both were no longer afraid of angering the consumers that purchased the porn they produced. Building on the model of the positive pornography they had made with Iron Will and Fluttershy they put forth several plainly consensual and very intimate productions, such as '50 {Dog Days} of Summer', 'Dog and Pony Show' and 'Working Mother', which was actually assembled form candid videos and other materials from the period of Rarity's pregnancy. They all sold decently well and there were no negative feedback cards received.

They continued to lie in a professional capacity regarding the relationship that was not a relationship. It sufficed for them to not recognize it anywhere except when alone. It kept things strong and certain.

The little pup born in court was eventually named Alabaster Trove. General consensus around Bare Mare Studios was that she was absolutely adorable, especially after her eyes and ears opened. Pinkie Pie had won the baby pool, despite no one remembering her actually entering. There was no doubt she had gotten closest to the time and weight and was one of the few to guess 'female'.

Iron Will and Fluttershy's relationship recovered from the bump it had encountered. They had never been timid about public displays of affection or casual touching, but their entire bearings became more relaxed. Oddly enough, the loss of lascivious hunger and erotic overtones was a step up rather than down. The relationship looked more relaxed, more casual and more real.

Neither of them stopped working. They performed admirably, as ever, though reserved all the passion and power for each other. Their performances had attained an even greater strength, which had others commenting about it. The work was good and everyone had a good time.

Rarity leaned forward with a soft moan, meeting Fluttershy's lips in a hot, open-mouthed kiss. Tongues danced within their mouths, cheeks lightly bulging as the slippery muscles swirled and pushed around. Their eyes fluttered closed as they sank into the pleasure of the kiss, Fluttershy's wings slowly spreading out behind her back. The spread showed small gold bands around the bases of her wings.

Fluttershy's hooves slid down along Rarity's flanks, massaging in small circles as she moved up and down over her mother-plump thighs and rear end. The pretty unicorn cooed into the kiss and slowly squirmed. She retaliated with her own hooves, sliding them down along Fluttershy's backside and suddenly lifting her up and forward, using a surge of magic to make it a more forceful move.

The two came together solidly thanks to the action but they couldn't get too close together. Their bellies bumped and pushed against one another. Both were rounded and full, taut from pregnancy. Fluttershy was slightly further along than Rarity but both were showing very clearly. The two eagerly rubbed against one another, bouncing pregnant swells carefully and trying to get their pregnancy-fattened teats to press together, flicking their nipples against each other's.

The belly grinding and the attempt at grinding teats and flicking nipples forced the two to break their kiss, open mouths coming apart with twin gasps and a loud pop. Their tongues swirled around each other and licked over each other's lips for a moment before they pulled back more, to focus on grinding bellies and rubbing teats.

“Rarity, I've never been pregnant before,” Fluttershy said, “Is my baby supposed to kick this much?”

“I think minotaurs are more energetic than puppies, and that's saying something,” Rarity said as she felt Fluttershy's baby kick, “Your child is acting like a bull in a vagina shop.”

Gentle, shuddering moans poured from both of them as they pushed baby-filled swells against one another and had milky mammaries bouncing and pushing against one another. One front hoof moved around behind them as they sat on their haunches, supporting them as they arched their backs to the activity. Their free hooves reached around and under the bellies and teats, pressing up on their juicy mounds.

The fleshy portions on the underside of their hooves worked over each other's clits, mashing and wiggling them like a joystick. The rigid portions of their hooves mashed, pushed and slowly spread out the lips of their vaginas, almost looking like they were preparing to hoof one another. But their hooves remained outside, just massaging and stimulating, drawing loud, wailing moans and panting whimpers of delight.

A small cough from off to the side paused the action, leading both mares to look over to the source, which turned out to be Iron Will and Butch. The two big males were looking good, their coats brushed out and covered in some kind of product that made them shine a bit. Iron Will had changed his silver nose ring for a gold one, along with some laurel vines carved onto his horns. Butch had changed the glowing green gem on his collar for a shining clear one, and had a new collar made of brocaded red velvet with silver studs. Both of the men were wearing overly tight thongs of red lycra.

Iron Will nudged Butch softly and motioned to the mares. “Look at that! You get 'em pregnant, you have at them every day, and they still start trying to hoof each other.”

“It's like we're not even here,” Butch said, with a smile and shake of his head. “What naughty mares we've got here.”

“Oh but you are quite incorrect, both of you,” Rarity said, regaining her composure and giving an offended huff, “How presumptuous of you.”

“It's true,” Fluttershy added softly, giving a soft smile and a deep blush, “You see... we just wanted to make sure we were nice and warm and ready... for the two of you.”

Butch and Iron Will looked to one another, making a few gestures and nodding to one another. “It's a good line,” Butch noted, “Your mare's got me thinking it's true.”

Iron Will slipped his thumbs under the strings of his thong, pulling up to cup and lightly jostle his still-soft organ and hanging testes in the lycra pouch. “She's a good mare and she's always telling the truth. I think they mean it. Come on, don't you trust yours? Here they were making out and bumping teats for us. Doesn't that make you trust them?”

Butch copied the cup-and-shake motion, following it by pulling the garment down, letting his long, partially-hardened cock sway above his loose sac. “No, you're right. I trust her, you trust yours and we get to have a good time.”

Iron Will dropped his own thong, giving his exposed dick a stroke. He took a look at Fluttershy's round belly, and gave a sudden, loud groan, his blue cock leaping up to partial stiffness. “Nnngh! Yea, a damn good time.”

“Come here, come here,” Rarity said to Butch, motioning him over. As soon as he was close enough Rarity reached out with magic and a hoof, stroking the firming organ lovingly. “There we are. Ahh good to know that my gravidity has not stolen the desire I excite in you...” She leaned in and slowly ran her warm, soft tongue in dainty swirls around the peeling-back opening of his foreskin, slowly dipping her tongue down within to flick his glans.

“I hope you don't expect an answer,” Fluttershy said with a giggle, leaning down herself and softly stroking and licking the lightly-throbbing blue minotaur member. “If he's like mine, he can't talk after you start making him feel good.”

“Well now... if his mouth will be useless...” Rarity licked her lips and rose suddenly, wrapping a foreleg around the back of Butch's neck and hooking the opposite hind leg over one hip. Butch solidified the hold by holding her around the waist. She came in for a hard, passionate, tongue-wrestling, saliva-trading kiss, both of them moaning loudly through their joined lips. Rarity had her free forehoof on Butch's organ, working over the head slowly while giving the occasional stroke.

“That's a good idea,” Fluttershy said brightly. She blushed and dipped her head a bit, peeking up at Iron Will from behind the curtain of her mane. “I mean, um, if you'd like to-” Her further comment was smothered off by Iron Will yanking her up into a similarly hard, passionate kiss. Fluttershy was holding on with a single foreleg, using her flapping wings to keep herself up until Iron Will wrapped his arms around her and brought her against his muscular chest. As with Rarity, Fluttershy used her free forehoof to rub, stroke and wiggle Iron Will's rigid rod.

Behind the camera and observing the scene, as ever, were Hoity and Photo, looking greatly pleased with the scene as it went on. “Wunderbar...” Photo said with a smile, adjusting her glasses and sitting back. “Another mashterpiece. The pregnant belliesh, the powerful men, the certitude they created the new livesh. Potency, fertility, combining into fecundity. The ultimate show of male und female shown to the camera und the world.”

Hoity was more focused on the cameras capturing the scene, looking through a small lens at the same angle as the cameras. “Careful, careful... mind the filming,” Hoity said quietly to his camera ponies, watching the scene with a smile. “Make sure you capture the important parts of this scene. Every kiss. Capture for me every last kiss...”