A Hero's Tale

Chapters

Chapter 1.1: The Low Down
Chapter 1.2: True form
Chapter Special: 1
Chapter 1.3: And Then He Said
Chapter 1.4: New Lovers
Chapter 1.5: Memory Loss
Chapter 1.6: Smartflank
Chapter 1.7: Sexy Suit
Chapter 1.8: Secrets Revealed
Chapter 1.9: Lan vs Lan?
Chapter 1: Talents Gone Wild
Chapter Q and A: Lan UNRELEASED

Chapter 1.1: The Low Down

Chapter 1.1: The Low Down

"So tell me... what happened that faithful day?" The blinding light obscured my eye sight. There were two ponies, one buff pegasus, and a skinny unicorn. "Well," The unicorn said. "Yer gonna talk?" The buff pegasus leaned over the table, his ripping chest centimeters from the desk. "Or am I gonna choke you outta it?"

I struggled in my chair, latched down from head to toe with leather and metal. Fear sung in my body, sweat poring out of my body like a waterfall. "I don't know... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" I don't know what I did wrong.

The pegasus slammed his hoof into the table, now creating a cup holder in the table. "WHAT DO YOU ME-!!!"

"Now calm down, no need to go hostile. We are friends... correct?"
"He isn't a friend... he's the enemy."

My name is-

"Shut up! You, convict!" The pegasus seemed mad with the unicorn. Mad enough to kill him. I gulped. "Tell me who," He read a open file about a inch away from the hole he made. A white colored alicorn with a purple mane blossomed on the picture. "Lan Jenkins is... don't leave anything out."

"Lan Jenkins... alicorn... possesses incredible magical powers." I paused, waiting for relief. There was none. "Lives with Twilight... that's all I know..."

The pegasus slammed his hoof onto the table, making another hole. "EVERYTHING!!!" A ring came, echoing in the room.

"We're done here, kill him." The unicorn got up and left, leaving the two alone.

"This is going to be fun."
"Please don't."
"Can't promise that."

The intercom came on. "Also, Brute, remember the number one scout rule!"

"Leave no trace..." That's when the ship exploded.

~~~~~~~

"Lan, are you sure this is a good idea?" Twilight asked Lan.

"It's fine Twi!" Lan responded to Twilight's plea. Lan was going to attempt to break Rainbow Dashes sonic rainboom. If Lan's calculations were correct, which he had complete confidence in, he would destroy the sonic rainboom. All it took was speed and then... well more speed.

"You know, it isn't gonna work, Lan." Rainbow Dash said, giving Lan a stare that says, 'fuck with me. I dare you.'

"Ya Lan, I don't see how this is going to work. It doesn't apply to physics or laws at all!" Luna said, looking at Lan's crude drawings.

Zero butted in, "If anything you shou-" Lan jumped off the purposely high cliff that everyone, being the mane 6 and Lan's friends, were standing on. "Well fuck me."

"THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID BEFORE I FUCKED HER! ALSO I SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I COULD DIE A VERY PAINFUL DEATH... NO ONE LIKES YOU ZERO!!!"

Lan sped down the ever lasting cliff, through the clouds and fell towards the ground. Lan tucked his wings and closed his eyes, and started to count.

1...2...3...4...5

Lan opened his eyes to see a rift had opened, falling into the portal like a 50 ton weight.

~~~~~~~

"... NO ONE LIKES YOU ZERO!!!" Lan yelled after jumping. Zero turned to Applejack. Applejack smiled to Zero and said, "He doesn't mean it Zero, you know that right?"

Zero smiled. "Don't worry! I got him later." Zero snapped his neck. Everypony looked over the edge, and gasped. Five white symbols forming a circle appeared below Lan. As they pulsed, a white portal opened up and sucked Lan in, closing immediately.

"Err, what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked. Fluttershy started to cry out of Lan, as if he just teleported.

"This wasn't apart of his plan..." Luna looked at Lan's plan sheet. "Wait... iv'e seen those symbols before... I sware I ha- OH MY CELESTIA!!!"

"What is it?" Blue and Arrell asked.

"Celestia..."

~~~~~~~

Lan woke up. He was in a white room, with pillars forming a line to a throne. At first Lan didn't realize it, but it hit him harder than he wanted it to be. This was the throne room of Princess Celestia. Lan looked around. It was a exact replica of it, but whiter. A lot more white. Lan rubbed his head, and walked towards the throne. He noticed a figure appearing out of thin air on the throne. It was a alicorn and was bigger than Lan. Lan smiled.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Princess Celestia! How have you been!"

Celestia flashed on the throne, not wearing any of her... clothes. Well not her clothes but her shoes and stuff. "Hello Lan."

"Why did you call me here? I was going to do something awesome!" Lan grinned evilly.

"I need you alive Lan, but on the bright side I have a special job for you." Princess returned the evilness of a smile.

"What is it this time? Save a mare? Kill somepony? Have tea with the Queen of England?"

"No, no and... NO!!! I need you to... um... how do I put this... there is a bar northeast of Ponyville called the..."

"The what?"

"The Wet Flank..."

"..." Lan gulped. Twilight was not gonna like this. "And do what?"

"There is a mare there, of the name..." Celestia rubbed her head and started to laugh. "Ms. Sexy." Lan and Celestia laughed.

"Wait shit... I have to go there..." Lan stopped laughing.

"Talk to her and ask her about the diamonds. Good luck." Celestia teleported Lan back the Ponyville. "You'll need it."

...

"When the time comes Lan, I will return."

The room disappeared.

~~~~~~~

Lan was thrown at Twilight's bedside, landing next to Spike. Twilight woke up screaming.

"GET OUT!!!" She picked up what looked like a bat with a nail.

"Dafuq?" That's when the bat with a nail hit Lan.

Wake up idiot... WAKE UP!!!

Lan gasped a mouth full of air as he got up. He was laying on Twilight's bed, but Twilight and Spike were no where in sight. Lan couldn't get up, for Twilight had hit his leg. Lan pulled the covers up and before he could fall alsleep, he heard Twilight rushing up with someone.

"He right here." Twilight said.

"How hard did you hit him?" The other, Discord, said while carefully lifting the blood covered. "Well atleast he's awake."

Lan flinched. "How?"

"I'm a God." Discord said, bowing to Lan. The room seemed hazy to Lan, as if he was blacking out from blood loose. Guess what happened.

"LAN!!!" Twilight screamed. "HEAL HIM NOW!!! BEFORE HE... dies..." Twilight started to cry.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, now! Uncle Discord will fix him right up!" Discord snapped his neck and flexed his arms.

Twilight flinched. "Your a uncle?" Discord smiled.

"I soon will be."

Discord removed the sheets, revealing a disgusting, blood ridden, wound. The wound was on Lan's right leg, upper thigh. Discord tested the wound and layed his hand on the hole. The result was a flinch of pain from Lan and a messy hand. Discord stopped smiling and realized what was going on.

"Is it that bad?" Twilight asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks. To her, it was just a simple flesh wound. To Discord, it was much more than that. "It's just the leg. It shouldn't be that bad, right? I mean... the book said-"

Discord snapped his head at Twilight, tears rolling from his eyes. "WOULD YOU STOP WITH YOUR STUPID BOOKS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID TO HIM?!"

"... No..." Twilight continued to cry. "Lan made that for me, saying that it was for a emergency. I woke up to a bright flash and a voice I haven't heard in three weeks."

"Portals do that. While time goes on her normally, the time there speeds by, or slows down."

"I came to you the second he didn't wake up. I mean, other than Celestia, your the most powerful creature here."

Discord didn't answer. Instead he twisted his hand, summoning black magic forth. He placed his hand on Lan's wound, forced all his magic into Lan. Lan's magic started to push the unwanted magic out, but Discord's magic started to kill the white flakes. The magic pulsed through Lan, neutralizing and healing and a fast pace. Soon, Lan's wound was healed and sealed. Discord lifted his hand off Lan, completely out of magic for Discord or Lan.

Why is Lan's magic trying to block out my magic? But how is that-

"Is he going to be ok?" Asked Twilight.

"... Yes..."

Twilight nearly jumped with joy, but pushed back the thought that it could affect the baby.

"I'm... i'm going to leave now." Discord started to walk down the stairs.

"Discord!" Discord looked back at Twilight. "Thank you... so much for doing this for me."

Discord smiled.

~~~~~~~

Lan woke up next to Twilight and Spike in his bed. Twilight was tightly curled up on Lan and was holding Spike like a teddy. Lan smiled and curled his arms and wings around Twilight and Spike, as today, his new day begins.

Lan remembered what had happen over the last couple of days, or more as three weeks. He had attempted to do a new move, but was sucked in by a portal that lead to Celestia. They talked about a hooker named Ms. Sexy, and to find and ask about the diamonds. Then Lan was teleported back into Twilight's room, then got whacked with a stick in the leg. Somehow he had been put 'to sleep' by it and Discord healed him.

"Well time to find a hooker."

~~~~~~~

Message from Editor,

I'm lazy as fuck, I get bored as fuck and get distracted by shit, causing me to not give a fuck, and I have MASSIVES amounts of ADD, meaning I simply don't give a fuck. Isn't fuck such a fun word? Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck... what am I doing and why am I writing this down?

Love, piss off.

Chapter 1.2: True form

Chapter 1.2: True form

After Lan had his breakfast with Twilight and by that I mean pancakes with hay which where delicious, Lan opened the door to the library. He smelt the fresh air and took a look around. Everyone was buzzing around, either working or buying, the town was at it again. What ever they were doing, it wasn't Lan's problem. He stretched his wings and took off into the bright da-

"Hey Lan!" Zero yelled, causing Lan to lose his concentration, he quickly controlled his flying and stared at Zero. He had no idea what he was getting into. "Hey Lan, where are you going?" Zero said happily.

"The Wet Flank." Lan said seriously.

"... What about Twilight?"

"Its for business reasons, not for sexual enjoyment."

Zero thought for a moment, "What type of business reasons?"

"Celestia ones." Lan sighed.

"OH! Those are fun, can I come?"

Lan thought for a moment, he wasn't that fast with his wings and what if this mare was faster than him. Using Zero as a flyer is a good idea, but the idea of having Zero next to Lan for what ever time this will take annoyed Lan. He needed someone else....someone that was strangling Lan.

"CCCRRKRKFDSN!" Lan held his hoofs at the arms of the strangler. Zero was too busy laughing his flank off. The strangler, or known as Discord.

"What's the matter Lan? Cat got your tongue?" Discord smiled.

"More like ass, let me go!" Discord did so, letting Lan fall to the ground. That's when Lan got an idea. "Hey Discord, you want to come with me to The Wet Flank?"

"... What about Twilight?"

"Its for business reasons, not for sexual enjoyment."

Discord thought for a moment, "What type of business reasons?"

"Celestia ones." Lan sighed.

"OH, those are fun can I come?" Lan got the strangest feeling he went back in time.

"OK, lets go... Wait! Do you even know where it is?" Zero asked.

"Yes, northeast of here."

"PERFECT!" Discord said, evilly rubbing his hands.

They set off towards the edge of the land, hoping to find what they need.

~~~~~~~

Well that was... weird. Twilight thought after Lan left. Twilight jumped out of bed, minding the leftovers from breakfast that Lan had decided to eat in bed, after Twilight cleaned it, she went downstairs, took out a book names 'How to Hide Secrets' and pressed a button behind it. Out popped a secret book, Twilight's diary. She looked around, Spike was asleep, so she took out quill and started to write.

When she was finished she closed the book and smiled. She couldn't help but cry.
~~~~~~~

Very northeast-ish of Ponyville, our trio entered Mexicolt City. The walked around the city, with not a single whore house in sight. Everyone was getting bored, and not a moment too soon.

"And what do we have here?" A colt said, obviously to Discord. "I thought Princess Celestium' put you back into yer place."

Before Discord could even speak, Lan stepped in. "You, back the fuck. He's with me."

"I don't think you understand-"

"I do, and your not in it." Lan started to walk, but was interrupted when a group of colts stepped in their path. "You have no idea what your doing."

"But we do! And your not in it!" The group of 25 or so jumped on Lan, Zero, and Discord. It seemed like the end, if only the shock wave of pure energy didn't blow back all the thugs. "How tha?"

Lan started to glow a bright white aura, and all hell broke loose. "I AM THE MOST POWERFUL BEING ON THIS PLANET! TO CELESTIA AND LUNA, I AM A DEMIGOD!"

That's when every living creature scurried out of the trios way. Except one. Trixie.

"Well I'll be damned, is that Trixie?" Zero whispered to Lan. "Last time I've seen her was the talent show."

Trixie stood their, completely frozen. She wasn't wearing her hat or cape, which is weird because she carries those around like a fucking medal. She walked up to Lan. "Lan..."

"Trixie..."

"Why are you here?" Trixie asked. "And why is Discord here?"

"Discords good. Hey, do you know where The Wet Flank is? Its for business reasons only, just letting you know."

Trixie giggled. "Ya,I know where that is!"

"Great can you show us where it is?"

"Sure!" Trixie started to walk and the rest followed. That's when Zero asked a question.

"Hey Trixie. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How do you know where The Wet Flank is?"

"..."

"That's a good question, how do you know?" Discord asked.

"Well... um..."

"Its obvious she's pasted it multiple times." Lan said.

"... YA! That's it."

Lan covered for Trixie, even though he knew what really went on.

~~~~~~~ The Wet Flank entrance

"Well here we are, take care now." Trixie started to walk off.

"Thanks!" Lan said. He was in a good mood right now.

They walked in, the music blasted in their ears. Something about the music annoyed Lan. What was in the club was just as Lan had thought. Hookers, beer, woman-less colts and of course, more hookers. This wasn't Lan's happy place, but for Zero, that's a different story.

"No Zero, were looking for someone called, Ms. Sexy."

"You called?" A angelic voice said. Up came a yellow mare, with a blue mane and curly long hair. Ideal she was sexy, but only in Zero's mind. "What can I do for you boys and..." She looked up at Discord, who was playing with a ball in a cup.

"Ms... Sexy... ca-"

"Yes!" She started to pull Lan, going straight for a private room.

"WHAT!!! NO!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DIAMONDS?!"

The room grew quiet, that's when Lan noticed a gyroscopic necklace that she was wearing. With Seven diamonds, and a gyroscopic feature put into it, it looked expensive. Lan's eyes widened when she saw the mares face. Pure terror. She bucked Lan in the face and leaped over Zero while Discord was still playing with his ball in a cup.

"STOP HER!!!" Lan screamed at Zero. Zero stretched his wings, but was blocked by the buildings bodyguards. More distractions. By a white force, the guards where pushed back. "GO!!!" Zero shot out the door. Lan sealed the building.

"You want to play?" Lan said. "Lets play!" Lan skidded across the floor tripping one of the guards, but that didn't stop the other two. One of them pinned Lan down, while the other took punts at him. Discord was not entertained. That's when Lan's magic surrounded him, causing a bubble of magic to take form. It backed off of the guards and the bubble started to take shape. First came legs, then a body, and last the arms and head. It was something no one in the whore house has ever seen. A figure unknown to the pony people. A human. The magic dispersed, leaving a Lan in his human form. He was wearing a white and purple getup with purple underclothes and a white trench coat. Lan's hair was longer, but not in a girly way. More in a, fuck with me, and I'll kill your family type of way. Lan gave the guards a develish smile.

"How do you like it, I've been working on that spell for ages and now I've finally got it to work!" The guards didn't respond. Instead, Lan pulled out a double barrel shotgun and a desert eagle from under his coat. "This," Lan shot the double barrel at the bar tenders drinks, causing them all to explode. Lan reloaded. "So wheres the door?" The guards ran.

~~~~~~~

Editor's notes:

I've noticed that I said that Lan and Twilight are married. Forget that. Don't look at that ever again. I don't know what I was thinking. Fucking total views. It's bullshit really. 1 total view... that makes sense.

Chapter Special: 1

... Wait... why am I doing this? Oh, that's right! Hey guys, its me, Gin! Ya, that's right i'm calling myself that. What are you going to do sue me? Fuck that I got Pheonix Wright on my side. Fuck da police what in gods name am I doing? WELL, I was being a dick and impatiently waiting for kickass'es new chapter and I looked at his HOT AND SEXY stories and I thought to myself, why does nutella taste so good? I mean, its like a fucking orgasm in my mouth and boners cumming into piss and I don't know ANYMORE!!! Anyways lets get into the real shit. Iv'e came up with this... lol came... awesome twist. If you've read the Artemis Fowl series, then you should of read Time Paradox. It'll be like that. Sorta. More blood and gore. LOLZLOLZLOLZ I R DINERSOARZ!!! RAWR!!! I'm all jacked up on tootsie rolls and nutella. I'm also mentally retarded so just be patient. Ya fucking prosthetic bastard. Cum bucket. Jizzfest. Gooey farts.

What your wondering is what i'm talking... typing about. WELLLLLLL IDK LOLZ. This is my damn special and I can do what I want with it. Like so.

fufckao aokjnsdf asoknhoksd .....-... --...-- ..--....-

-_- -.- XD

I AM A DEMIGOD!

Ice... I know you aren't that stable after Elizabeth's death, but listen to me. It's not your fault. Just because I got raped by 17 giraffes doesn't mean you aren't a good lover. Ice, I want you inside of me. PS IM PERGNAENT LOLZOLOZLZO

Oh did you hear, Snookie is pregnant. Ya... its the end of the world as we know it. Also people have built a sub thing to go look at Titanic. Well shit. Also meteors. Something about them. Penis.

Well now what. Also i'm going to do a Q & A with the fag character shits I have, that's right. Come at me bro. Nipples.

Dick licken son of a bitch my birthday was Feb 23 and I got 330 dollars. Fuck yeah! I spent it all on airsoft shit. A g36c that can take m14 and m4 mags, 3 high caps, a vest that holds a shit ton of shit, and a sexy whopping 2500 sex beads... bb's... go fuck yourself. I do what I want. I also got a job. I work for 5 weeks in a kitchen at a boyscout camp. All da gurls. 575 bucks. In the balls. Also money. Fuck yes. Fuck no. Snookie pregnant is not a way to go. Id still hit it though... LOLZ NAW I AINT DAT DIRTEY! This is pointless what am I doing. AUIFABNADFJDKFNASJFNDKJFASDNJKF PENIS JUICE IN MY FACE HOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

Well this concludes this. Fuck this was pointless. Oh well. Take it up the ass Zero and good night.

Oh and use a condom folks. Yes Blue, that's pointed at you. I know what you do to Arrell.

Chapter 1.3: And Then He Said

Chapter 1.3: And Then He Said Sorry for the late chapter. I'm BUSY! Not only that but Sir Faggolot Zero fagging around me.

"Let there be light." Discord said, snapping his fingers. The entire room was filled with light, blinding everyone except for Discord. Everypony stumbled around, knocking over bottles of beer and each other. Discord grabbed Lan, who was still admiring his new clothes which Rarity had made for him when he could stay human for about five minutes. They hold many things, including ammo and weapons. They bolted out the door and headed towards Zero, who was sitting on Ms. Sexy.

~~~~~~~ 5 minutes earlier

"GO!" Lan yelled at Zero, who shot at the door it stood no chance against Zero, as he flew towards Ms. Sexy. She didn't get very far, by the time it took to pull a trigger, Zero had caught her. Sadly though, the speed Zero was going at was too fast for him to stop, so they rolled on the dirt floor untill Zero stopped himself. He pinned her down, hoof on chest.

"-Huf- Where do you think your going?" Zero said.

"AHHH!!! DON'T KILL ME!!!" She screamed so loud it almost burst Zero's eardrum. Zero reacted by letting go of her and shutting out the sound by slamming his hoofs in his ears. Ms. Sexy started her sprint again, but was stopped 2.56 seconds later. Why I know the exact time, beats me. Instead of the old fashioned hold-me-down, Zero grabbed her by the neck and forced her down to the ground.

"If you run again, I'll kill you."

That statement didn't help as Ms. Sexy kicked Zero where it hurts, and she might be a slow runner but shes got some power when shes scared. He had no idea how Lan gets away with it. Zero let go and held his diamonds while Sexy ran off with hers. Zero regained his speed managing to catch up with her, he threw her down and sat on her.
"NO MORE!!!"

To Zero's surprise, Sexy was crying her eyes out. She struggled to get away, but didn't have the strength to over power Zero. She finally gave up and said, "Please don't kill me."

"Kill you, why would I do that besides that's Lan's job."

Before she could even say anything else, Lan and Discord came up to them.

"There you are Lan!"

Sexy screamed and was suddenly teleported

"Let's have a talk in private, shall we?" Discord said.

~~~~~~~

Hell, bloodfalls and lava lakes. Where zombies roam the bloodstoned land. This barely describes what the location of Discord's happy place is. He may have turned good, but he still had an evil streak. Lan, Zero, Discord, and Ms. Sexy was teleported about 5 feet above above land. Everypony but Discord hit the ground hard. Gravity was a bit stronger here. Ms. Sexy was the first to freak out.

"OH BY CELESTIA WHAT IS THIS PLACE!!!"

"My mind..." Discord felt a bit ashamed. "Sorry Lan, I need to clear this place up."

"I wouldn't mind staying here for a week, but right now Twilight has me up in chains."

Ms. Sexy came out of her fear state by the mentioning of Twilight. "Wait... your Lan Jenkins?"

Lan took a bow, "The one and only."

"And you must be Root Canbell!" Lan felt disappointed, Root, or William Greenfield, was tying to find a last name. I guess he found one.

"Nope, Zero."

"... Well damn. I was hoping for Root. Sorry, the only thing I know about you guys is that you helped save Equestria from The Nameless. Why did you kidnap me?"

Discord was the first to speak. "Well you see, -cough- Ms. Sexy-"

"Oh just call me Nala!"

"Nala, Lan was told by Celestia that we needed to talk to you about the diamonds and what not. Mind the zombie."

Lan bucked the pony zombie 20 feet before coming to a halt.

"And well we did I hope you will tell us or maybe I get to test some new chaos." Discord rubbed his hands again.

"I can't." Nala said.

"Why?" Zero's body tensed. His body never lied to him. Something bad was about to happen.

"He'll kill me." Nala looked at the ground.

"Who will." Lan asked.

Nala gave in. She started to cry and went into Lan's hold.

"Well, this stallion came up to me and started to talk to me. I wasn't... working... so I talked to him back. He was real nice and and a gentlecolt because he gave me this necklace. Told me it was a gift of beauty, but then he started asking questions. About you guys actually. He asked what happened to pony's I didn't know and I told him as much as I could. I didn't know why he was doing it but he had me in his grip. It seemed like I couldn't say no. When I was done, he left, but before he left me he said that if I ever told anyone this..."

"He'd kill you." Zero finished.

Discords mind became quiet.

Lan decided to change subject. "You became worried when you talked about your job, why?"

"DO YOU THINK I WANT TO WORK THERE!!!" Nala screamed at the top of her lungs, pushing back Lan.

"I don't-"

"I HATE THAT PLACE!!! I WISH HE NEVER FOUND ME!!! I WOULD RATHER STARVE THAN BE IN HIS SERVICE!!!"

"Calm down Nala. It's ok. What happened?"

Now Discord was interested. Juicy story.

"I live in a alleyway with Mint, who I consider, my child. I found him wondering the streets by himself. I took him into my house, which is hidden in that alleyway. Holding a job is hard because I'm not that focused on stuff. All I can think of is adventure. You know, what you do! But then the owner of that evil place found me. Gave me a price I had to take. Mint needed me to take care of him. So I took it. I regret that mistake I made. He abuses me for sex and has lowered my pay to bits an hour. I legally cant leave because of contract and I can't tell. Mint still doesn't know what I do, but it keeps us alive."

Zero was basically was balling his eyes out. Discord was also moved, but was more worried about the zombies, but out of the three, Lan was more emotionaly upset. What he thought was just a whore was actually a girl who had life problems.

"Thank you for your time... take care. Discord take her to her house." Discord snapped his fingers and Nala was gone.

"What now Lan?" Discord asked.

"Lets pay someone a visit."

~~~~~~~

Mr. Wesh was not having a god old time. His business was rammed with three pony's, which one wasn't a pony but Discord. He did believe that. That Lan kid is getting himself into trouble. His wine and beer had all been blown apart because of one of these guys, who which none of the pony's inside could remember the names except for Discord's. He had transformed and pulled out a weapon, beat the crap out of his guards and left with that bitch Nala, once her flank got in here, she was going to regret running. Mr. Wesh was the owner of The Wet Flank and was barking orders at his men to clean the damn place up.

"CLEAN UP THIS DAMN MESS!!! KEEP THE STALLIONS OUTSIDE, AND REMEMBER, NO REFUNDS!!! I DON'T CARE!!! GET THIS SHIT CLEANED OR YOUR ALL FIRED!!!"

"Why hello there, you must be the boss of this business." A voice said behind him. Mr. Wesh didn't know this voice, and who ever it is, their gonna regret it.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUUUUuuuuuuu..." Mr. Wesh stood frozen.

"My name is Lan Jenkins. My friend Zero and Discord. We would like to have a word with you."

"OH, BUT OF COURSE! COME! I'll show you the way to my office!"

"That wouldn't be the case sir. I only need you for a second." Zero said.

"We have a proposition for you. We want to buy a certain contract." Discord said, smiling straight at Mr. Wesh.

Mr. Wesh felt a bit nervous, completely forgetting about Discord was one of the guys who ransacked the place. "Who's contract?"

"A mare called Nala." Lan said, which was now in control.

"WHAT! NO! You don't want her. Here, let me show you some of my other girls."

"You don't understand Mr. Wesh," Lan said in a angelic voice. "We want Nala."

"But shes a good for nothin-"

Lan's voice turned from angelic to demon. "DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!!!"

Lan's outburst caused major attention in the building. So much attention, one of the guards remembered him. "HEY I KNOW YOU THREE! THEIR THE ONES TO ATTACK THIS PLACE!"

"Attack?" Lan said.

Mr. Wesh was speechless. The hero's of Equestria attacked his business. No one did that to Mr. Wesh. "YOU!!! GET OUT OF MY BUILDING OR I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!"

Lan proceeded to knock everyone back with magic and pindown Mr. Wesh. "Listen to me well. I know what you did to her, and I'm not going to allow it to happen anymore."

"To who?"

"Nala, you put her under your command with a contract and she became a slave to you instantly. You deducted her pay, raped her and ruined her life. She will never forget what you've done to her and I'm going to stop it."

"And, so what, its not like you can find the-"

"Contract, Mr. Wesh? You mean this one?" Lan said. On cue, Zero held out a piece of paper. Nala's contract.

"HOW DID YOU-"

Discord smile became bigger.

"You..."

"You'll be happy to know she shalln't be under your control now, good bye." And with a teleportion spell, Mr. Wesh's anger rose higher than a Mexican losing a green card in Uno. (Take that Zero, ya son of a bitch.)

~~~~~~~

Arrell was roaming the castle, looking for something to do. Ever since Blue Breeze became king, after sleeping with Celestia that lucky son of a bitch, he'd been treating him like his son. "Just because I'm young", Arrell thought, doesn't mean I need to be babysat. Blue was in a meeting, like he is every damn day, and Luna is taking a shower. Last time Arrell walked into the shower while Luna was using it, he got hit so hard he went flying 'through' the castle. Seventeen broken bones. It hurt, a lot. Sometimes Arrell likes to play common jokes on the guards. You know, hide someones stuff in someones else's locker. Hilarious. Not really, the castle isn't always fun, not as it's looked up to be. You can build one awesome fort though with all the pillows they have. Fuckin' sweet. That's when Arrell bumped into Dimmy and Derny. Brother guards that are seriously stupid. Its not that they have brain problems, they just don't think. The Royal Guards use them for cleaning.

"Sorry DD." Arrell and Blue likes to call them that. Easier to say.

"Well hey there SIR?!" Derny said. Derny was the oldest, but it still didn't help considering the fact that both their coats are gold, so no one can tell the difference. Hint the DD.

"Sir?" Arrell said.

"What happened to you king?" Dimmy said this time.

"Um..." That's when Arrell got the idea. "What do you mean?"

"Well... your short..." Not the first time someone confused Arrell for Blue, but then they know its not him because hes so short.

"Smmmaaaallllll." Derny said, using his hoofs to show how small he was.

"Oh... that... well something happened. Hey, I know! I'll go back to my throne and you get me some food! Maybe i'm just hungry. Ya that's it! But don't tell anyone, ok?"

Both Derny and Dimmy looked at each other. Who knew not eating food made you shorter. They gave a salute and ran for the kitchen. Arrell darted for the throne room.

~~~~~~~

Arrell sat their, waiting for his prize. Mountains of sandwiches, which are fucking awesome if made right, ice cream(Sure you want that?) and... chocolate. The doors burst open and in came DD with more food than anyone can process. Food, all his.

"Good job boys, now I need something else..." Arrell thought for a moment. What did he need again? "Gold."

Derny and Dimmy looked at each other. "Why do you need that?"

"For special reasons. Now go."

Just as the brothers were about to leave, Lan walked in with Zero.

"Hey guys, how y'all doing?" Arrell put his mouth over his mouth, but was in shock, somepony came out behind the wall.

Blue Breeze.

~~~~~~~ Mexicolt, Alleyway

Lan walked alone through the alleyway. He told Zero to stay behind. Discord left though, he had stuff to do. D
It didn't bother Lan though. Finding the right alleyway was hard though. Most were just flithy or contained a rat or two, but finding Nala and Mints house was hard. After a few hours worth of searching, Lan had found it. He held the note that saved two lives and came up to a makeshift house. By the looks of it, it looked like it was about to collapse, since the wood that it was made out of was eaten away by age. Lan knocked on the door.

...

Nothing came. Lan tried again.

...

Now Lan was getting worried. He slammed on the door rapidly.

...

Just as Lan was about to burst down the door, the door swung open to reveal Nala in a cyan dress. The sight of her was stunning and was about to make Lan faint, but then he remembered the surprise he had for Twilight. Then he remembered the fact that he loved Twilight. That made Lan pause for a moment.

"Lan, what are you doing here?" Nala said. Without saying a word, Lan trotted inside and observed the house. It was a nice house and it seemed to be broken in to another abandoned house. Out came a little colt. Cyan body and chocolate mane and tail. He hid behind a wall, peering into Lan's soul with his sad eyes.

"I have a gift for you." Lan said. "And you too."

"What could you have that wou-" That's when she saw the note.

Lan placed the note on a nearby table, opening up for all to see.

"That can't be... by Celestia it is! How did you get my contract?"

"A little persuasion."

"Thank you Lan! This means a lot to me... is that all?"

"Nope. Nala... Mint... I can't just watch pony's like this suffer. It's to much."

"Its not that bad." Nala said.

"So I've decided to... how could you say this... "take you in", if that's ok?"

Silence filled the air.

"Also Nala, I can get you a job. One that involves less... you know. You can come with me to Ponyville, live with me and Twilight. It'll be great. Also that job, it involves helping out the Royals. You know, do what I did today, except sometimes it's not very fun... but its adventuress! Please Nala, I can make your life simpler."

Nala looked at Mint. "Mint, do you want to go with him?"

All what Mint did was hug Nala. "I don't want to leave you."

"Then its settled, lets go to Canterlot first. You know, the castle and all."

Lan walked outside but was walked out alone. Lan turned around to see that they were looking at him. Worried.

"Whats the matter?"

"The fact that we have to leave home. Oh, and I don't know, leaving with a total stranger."

"Sarcasm... well, I can't force you. It's your decision."

"Say one thing that can make me trust you and make me believe you won't hurt us." Mint said.

"I can't say it to you, but I can say it to Nala. Maybe so?"

...

"Earth was a pleasant place, wasn't it?"

Nala's eyes grew with surprise.

"Just a hunch that I had."

Neither to say they went with him.

~~~~~~~

"ARRELL!!!" Blue shouted out. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY THRONE!!!"

"Arrell?" DD said together. Lan started to laugh.

"Um, nothing! Just doing... NOTHING!"

"D and D. Out." They both ran. "Arrell... your grounded."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!!!"

Lan stopped laughing, "He's right, you can't." Lan looked at Zero. "Sic him boy."

Zero slapped Lan as he shot at Arrell. Arrell didn't get very far.

~~~~~~~

You can tell I ran out of fucks to give when doing the 'Lan getting Nala to go with him' thing. It was hard... nutella.

Chapter 1.4: New Lovers

Chapter 1.4: New Lovers

"YOU IDIOT, I had this all planned and you come in and RUIN IT!"

"What do you mea, I saw what you did and I'm not going to forgive you for it, there is no way that happened!"

"You don't see it do you, I WAS THE GOOD GUY ALL ALONG!!!"

~~~~~~~

All that Twilight knows is that Lan was with a mare, had a colt on his back and of course a cart of food.

"Should I even ask?" she said rolling her eyes.

"Nope, what you doing?" Lan responded butefore Twilight could even answer, Lan said "Nala, Twilight, Twilight, Nala."

"Nice to meet you Miss Twilight."

"Nice to me-" Lan interrupted Twilight.

"Twilight, Mint, Mint, Twilight."

"Ugh, hi-" Twilight responded, confused.

"Lan, Twilight. Twilight, Lan."

"What are you do-" Dala said this time.

"Nala, Mint. Mint, Nala."

"Ok Lan, we get it." Mint shyly said. It was obvious that he was new to the new environment.

"... LanNalaNalaLan."

"SHUT UP!!!"

The room grew quiet. While Twilight facehoofed, Mint decided to hide in Nala's mane.

"Ok Nala, Mint. This food is for you... BUT THE PICKLES ARE MINE!!!" Lan quickly grabbed the pickles and ran upstairs, hiding in the upstairs room.

The room grew quiet again, after about three minutes of hearing Lan's aggressive attack on the jar of vegetables, Twilight decided to speak up. "So, who are you?"

"Well, my name is Nala. I used to live in Mexicolt City with Mint here but, then Lan came into my life..."

"Wait your not the..."

"I am, but it wasn't for those types of reasons."

Mine came out of Nala's mane. "What reasons?"

Nala kissed Mint. "Secret ones."

Twilight looked around. There was no place for them to sleep. Their room was off limits, and the guestroom was being transformed into the baby's room. Well that does leave the study... NO! That's the only place I can get some stuff done...

"We can sleep on the couch..." Mint said almost like he could read minds... wait can he? No he can't. Wait that's a good idea.

Nala reacted almost instantly, taking Mint off her back and hugging him on her chest. Twilight was stunned. No words could describe the atmosphere of the room. A single leaf swayed in the room, and was snatched from the air by Nala. "Look, maybe we can..."

"You can use my study room."

Nala's smiled appeared. She grabbed her single bag, a trashbag with her valueables and set them on the couch. "Could you leave us, please? I have to talk with Mint."

"Upstairs on the second right."

"Thank you."

Nala and Mint retreated to their rooms as Twilight thought to herself.

"I can't believe you did that." Lan said, slung over the top floor rail.

"I know... I mean, that's my private place... where I do everything..."

"Giggity."

"I'm taking a shower."

"Can I join?"

Twilight walked on with answering.

~~~~~~~

After the shower, and an awkward soap dropping, Lan and Twilight receded into their bed after checking up on Nala and Mint. They Lan had set up cots but Lan knew he had to buy new beds. The bits he receives from doing the random jobs for the Royals is plentiful but he hated to spend major amounts of money at a time. Twilight curled up against Lan's chest, and looked up at Lan.

"You know, when the baby is born, your going to watch."

Lan chocked on a half eaten pickle. "WHA-!"

"Baby, birth is a beautiful thing."

"Not when it's shoved in my face!"

Twilight sighed, "Get over it."

Lan laughed, but stopped when he heard a banging at the door. "I'll get it."

Lan jumped off the bed, and ran down the stairs. Sadly, the first stair caught his footing and he tumbled down the stairs. Hitting his head on just about every stair, he hit the bottom with a loud crash. Instantly, both Twilight and Nala came out of their rooms to help him. Nala was the first to reach him, as Twilight froze upon the sight of Lan's head, which had blood pouring out of it.

"He's ok, just a big cut. Not deep. MINT! Get me my medkit. Twilight answer the door." Twilight followed Nala, at the moment, it was the only thing she could to do to help. As she was halfway down, Mint raced past here, he was carrying a white case with a red cross on it in his mouth. When Twilight answered the door, a stallion with a checkered suit and three buff stallions loomed above her.

"Hello?"

"I've come to get my mare back." Mr. Wesh said.

~~~~~~~

It was a typical day for Fluttershy. Get up, feed the animals, play with the animals, feed the animals, and go to bed. Not much for this mare, except today, someponywas suppose to come over, and that someone was very special. A Royal Guard! They had been seeing each other for quite a while and now that Fluttershy was done for the day. She had been waiting patiently for her lover to come through the door, she had never told him about her feelings for him, he was always there for her. And not a moment too soon, a knock on the door.

"Hello, you're on time." Fluttershy said.

"Am I ever late?" The stallion said.

Fluttershy simply smiled. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Naw, I'm pooped. I'll think i'll just go to bed."

Fluttershy grabbed her blanket and followed him up the stairs. As soon as they were both comfortable, Fluttershy started to snuggle up against her new lover. Not once has she felt a relationship beyond a best friend and the stallion her body was against made her want more. She had never considered this but, it was a small chance. The yellow mare looked at the stallion holding her. She came up to his ear and whispered into his ear. "Tonight could be the night."

The stallion just simply smiled at her. "Is this because you feel as you want to, or you think that I want to?"

"I think we can both enjoy it." Fluttershy's face grew redder by the second. She wasn't sure what was about to happen. The stallion flung herself over her laid on top of her. He nuzzled her cheek, and kissed her.

"Don't take this personally but-" The stallion's beeper was... beeping. A bright flash indicating that someone needed help. "Fluttershy-"

"Save him, Root."

~~~~~~~

Nala kept on Lan. He wasn't unconscious and was aware of his surrounding, but only to a certain degree. He noticed Wesh and his goonies enter the room. He noticed one of them going upstairs, and holding down Twilight. He noticed a guard to post on a window, but what he didn't see was Wesh hovering above him.

"How does it feel like to lose, Mr. Jenkins?" Wesh said. "Because your about to lose everything. Kill everyone but these two."

The guard guarding Twilight froze up. "But, sir?"

"No buts, do it."

"She's only a civilian."

Wesh looked straight at him. "Do. It."

The guard looked at Twilight. "But sir, she's just prostitute."

Both Lan and Twilight twitched.

"Well fine then, leave her. Where's the child at?"

"I'll look for him."

Nala sprang up from Lan, but was quickly pushed back down by Wesh. "No you don't."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM OR I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT!!!" Nala screamed, now trying to push her way out with no success.

"Found him." One of the guards said, carrying Mint. No matter how much he struggled, the sheer force of the brute was too much. The guard held him to tight and started to choke the colt, which Nala didn't like. Shes sprang up over Wesh and kicked the guard, slamming him into the stairs and shattering the fine wood. The second guard, the one over Twilight, came in and took Nala and Mint by the neck.

"Now what?"

"We leave with the three and leave the pitiful one here for the blame. Make sure to wipe his and the sluts mind and replace it with breaking and entering. Come, teleport us all but Mek." Wesh said.

"But sir, I did good!"

"You lost to the whore, now." Wesh, the two guards, Nala, Mint, and Lan teleported to who knows where leaving a confused stallion and a pregnant mare.

~~~~~~~
Editor's note: Hey their guys Ice here if your reading this Gin is giving me this as payment for prereading. So just advertising my story go give a read if you've got the time.

P.S. I want your guys opinions, what did you think of the little 3 sentences at the top with thE IM DA GOOD GUY STUFF.

Chapter 1.5: Memory Loss

Chapter 1.5: Memory Loss

Wake up you fool, you still have work to do.

~~~~~~~

The door blow open as Root busted in with great force. He caught glimpse of Twilight standing at the top of the stairs, looking a bit confused. She looked at him, and he looked at her. A couple of seconds later the body embedded in the stairs groaned. Painfully.

"HALT!" Root leaped up and pounced the confused over grown stallion. "What are you doing!?"

"Wha... who are you? Where am I?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!!!" Root brought him up and slammed his head, which was covered in his Royal Armour, onto his, knocking him out. "Hey Twi! Where's Lan?"

Twilight was still staring at Root with eyes of blank. "Who are you?"

"... Roooooot?"

"Are you one of Princess Celestia's personal guards."

"... Come with me."

~~~~~~~ Twilight POV

I stood there as a Royal Guard blown through my door. I stood there as he knocked out the stallion embedded in the stairwell. I stood there, completely shocked. I gulped as he asked a question that I had no answer to. "Who are you?" Damnit Twilight! You know who he is! A Royal Guard, and what it seems from his uniform, Princess Celestia's personal guard!

"... Roooooot?" He asked. It seems he knows me, and it also seems he thinks that I think that I know him! Celestia that's confusing...

"Are you one of Princess Celestia's personal guards?" Again Twilight?

"... Come with me." He said, and started to walk out the door. I started to walk down the steps when I felt something push on me. I looked at my belly and... oh no...

Little later... Throne Room

I stood in the back while Root, some dweeb that was in Celestia's throne, and Luna where talking about me. They keep going on about memory loss or something. This was going too fast! My head felt dizzy and my body got weaker. The last thing I remember is falling.

~~~~~~~ Root's POV

I took my hooves and slid across the floor. My wings pulsed with anger as they were woken up, but I wouldn't allow her to fall. I took a dive and slid on my back. The bottom part of my armor isn't very hard due to the fact that it's for landing from tall heights, although I don't see why I need it. Just as I wanted it too, she landed on my perfectly. I sighed relief and layed her down gently.

"Well that was unnecessary!" Blue said.

"I don't know, it was kinda cool. Now let me see, you believe that Twilight has been mindwiped?" Luna said, nodding at what I did. I always felt she needed more than what she gets, but who am I to judge.

"Here's my idea, we have a situation. I entered the room with a stallion embedded in the stairs and Twilight on top of the stairs. There was signs of struggle and blood on the bottom of the stairs. What I think is that Lan has been captured and the captors have set one of their own men for the blame. They wiped both him and Twilight and now have Lan."

"I don't see how you get that?" Blue said.

"I wasn't finished. We all know Lan, he would have attacked the shit out of me the second I went through that door."

Blue pushed a button on his chair. "... Protocol Fox. Activate all search squads and trackers. I want Lan Jenkin's found."

Protocol Fox... we have a emergency on our hands. I saw Luna heading for the door, ready to do some damage.

"Oh no you don't, Luna!" Blue said "I need you here, working on Twilight and our visitor. Cell 12T, find what he knows, search his memory, do what ever it takes."

Luna raised her head, then nodded.

"Root, I need you to stay with Twilight."

WHAT! "B-b-b-but WHY!"

"Right now I need you to comfort her."

"I'm not happy with this, hes my best friend."

"I know. I know."

Where are you, man?

~~~~~~~ Nala POV

"AAAHHHHHHH!!!" I couldn't open my eyes. I knew Lan was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I squint my eyes to see where we were. A small, black and dark room, filled with torture devises I couldn't even describe. I looked to my left to see Lan, covered in cuts and blood, and Mr. Wesh, adding more slashes to the collection he already had. "PLEASE STOP THIS!!!" I screamed, but it didn't even affect Wesh.

"This is what you get when you steal my items, bug." He took his dagger and shoved it into Lan's left leg, and twisted it, causing Lan to scream, almost shattering my eardrums. I looked away in horror as Wesh continued to do unspeakable things to him. I had to get him out of here, and Mint. I started to wiggle my mane, as a single bobby pin popped out. I grabbed it with my teeth and started with the locks. The only parts that was locked was my front hooves, unlike Lan. The first one went quietly, then the second. I got up slowly and went behind Wesh. I took out a single blade, and aimed.

"Not so fast kid!" I froze as he turned around and slammed into me, knocking over a tray of knifes and sharp objects. I struggled to get up, but Wesh made sure I wouldn't. "Well, since your body is in a flexible form... I might as well take this time to... use you." Wesh started to laugh as I felt myself tense up. I knew what was coming and I couldn't stop it. Wesh was a powerful pony and if anything, he could kill me right now. I just... took it. "Wait... no... BRING THE KID IN!" Wesh said.

A big stallion walked into the room no later than seconds, and threw the kid in. Not one of the gentle guards, to say the least.

"Chain the kid up, for fuck sakes!" Wesh said. I saw him chain up Mint, while Wesh was still on top of me.

"MOMMY!" Mint screamed. "MOMMY GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"DON'T LOOK!" Was the last thing I could say before he picked me up. I stared in disbelief as he positioned me upfront of Mint, face to face with him. I tried to struggled out of his grip but couldn't. He had me. "MINT DON'T-"

I saw Mint stare in disbelief as he saw his mother being raped in front of him. Please, I need help.

~~~~~~~ Root's POV

How dare he make me look over Twilight! If anything this is his job... what am I going to do with you? "So, Twilight. Still searching?"

"I can't seem to find anything, look is this all true?" Twilight said. We had gone to a interrogation room. Blue promised that no one would be watching, and he made sure Twilight was there to hear.

"What is?"

"This, Blue guy being the king."

"Well, yes. Celestia made him King." I saw where this was going as soon as I said her name.

"Well, where is Celestia?" Twilight questioned. I saw that she was shaking a little. "And why haven't seen her here? Shouldn't she come and visit?"

"Well, look. See, things have happened-"

"Shes dead, isn't she." Twilight said. She looked down at the table. "Let me leave."

"No, i'm sorry bu-"

"LET ME LEAVE!!!" Twilight looked me in the eye, tears sliding on her cheek.

"I ca-"

Just then, Luna burst into the room, a big grin on her face. "I did it!"

I left in a haze, leaving Twilight in the room alone. I traveled through the halls listening to Luna's rambling about how the process, but I didn't listen. We reached the throne room. I kicked the doors open to see Blue, giving commands to another pony. Where did he learn to be a King? I think Celestia has something to do with this.

Luna gave Blue a welcome smile and said, "I did it. It took a while but I did it! Now we can send Root to fetch him." She kicked me a little in the side.

"Well then, excuse everything I just told you. You can leave now." The pony he was talking to was Captain Barehoof, the best of the best. This was more serious than I thought. But why would it be? "Luna, info. Now." Itchy for info, as am I.

"Well you see, getting back the memories from was difficult. I had to-"

"Info. NOW!"

"Well, to be honest, he hasn't got his memory back. I had to squeeze most of the info out. Lan is in Mexicolt, some stripclub named, The Wet Mane, of course the info might be off a little. Oh and before you leave, the pony said not to hurt the one with a brown birth mark on his face, he's the one that saved Twilight."

"Root, go to Mexicolt using a teleportation spell. Grab him and go."

"I can't do magic..." I said.

"Luna."

I felt myself being pulled. Next thing I knew, I was in the air, falling. I quickly composed myself and got my grip with my wings. My armor was slowly beating down on me, and it felt wrong. I need one of Fluttershy's back rubs. I flew down and asked a nearby stranger, asking where the Wet Mane was. He said there was no Wet Mane, but a Wet Flank. Damnit Luna. He then told me the directions. I told him it was strict Royal business, and not for personal ones, and went on my way.

I soon found myself hovering above it, watching as ponies, stallion and mare alike fled the club. I went to the door and opened it, finding myself to see a pony wearing a checkered suit fly into a table, snapping sounds heard not coming from the table. I looked to my left and saw Lan, human form, with one pissed off attitude.

~~~~~~~ Lan's POV

I sat there, taking all the beatings. I felt my blood pouring out of my pony body. I was damaged beyond repair, this I knew. I forced myself to open my eyes, and looked as Mr. Wesh positioned Nala over a kid. Wait... MINT?! What is he doi... aw hell no. Aw HELL NO! GET THESE CHAINS OFF ME!!!

I felt my magic respond to me request, as it creep down my body, sealing the wounds I had. It picked the locks with ease, even though a spell had been cast on it preventing magic. I feel to the floor silently. I slowly walked over to Wesh. He was about to do it. Just a couple more steps. With my magic pulsing, healing my slowly, I grabbed Wesh's stomach and pulled back, him landing on me. He twisted around, putting his hoofs on my neck, chocking me.

"Thought you could sneak up on me, didn't you?"

I struggled for a second, and rested. What I needed was a couple of seconds.

"Lan Jenkin's. At first I knew nothing about you but while you were unconscious here I decided to research you. That purple mare." Oh no. "Twilight Sp-arkle."

"Next time to spit on me when you see her name. It's disrespectful to two pony's."

"And you think I care why? You know, when I kill you after this conversation, i'm going to lock up Mint, have Nala as a personal slave, and maybe that purple mare too."

"You won't touch her. The second they find my body, they'll issue a protection code I told Root." I smiled. "And I might just come back to haunt you."

"And what does that mean?" Wesh asked. He quickly pulled out a knife and put it to my throat. The coldness of the blade made me think of my body. "Yes, dead as ice, and cold as it is."

I smiled, figuring out his ability. "That's how you did it. Mind reader."

"And, your just going to die. No need for you to figure it out. Sp-ecial celebration for me!"

"I told you," I put my right leg on his stomach. "NOT TO SPIT ON ME!!!" I pushed him off of me using all the force I had. With my remaining energy, I gave my magic one last command before I die. It circled me, creating a bubble of magic. Wesh threw his knife but my magic slapped it back at him, almost hitting him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!???"

My body changed, creating a new form of breed on this planet. One that existed for a while but is now getting the taste of fresh air. Me. Then it hit me. I ran out of magic. The bubble started to fade away, as was my almost transformed body. That's when the bubble came back, a new color. Black. Death black. And not only that but I could feel Discord's magic in me. The time Twilight hurt my leg, and the healing. My magic must have replicated it as a emergency. My true form was coming back faster and stronger. It felt weird. Just weird. The new magic enveloped around my body, and dispersed, causing some things to be pushed back. I stood up. My trench coat was now black and red, not white and purple. I felt different. I smiled.

"What are you?" Wesh said. "Whats with your teeth?"

I ran my finger along my teeth and noticed their were spiked. Good. Perfect for tearing skin off. "Why did I think that?"

"YOUR VOICE?!"

It was demonic. I know what I am now. The black magic turned me evil. Dead evil. I looked to my right, to see Mint curled up in Nala's arms. She had a terrified look on her face. I turned to Wesh.

"You. You attempted to rape my friend in front of her son, killed my pony body and NOW your insulting my marefriend. That is exceptionable."

"FUCK YOU!" He picked up his knife and lunged for me. With his knife in his mouth, I grabbed him by his snout and threw him against the back wall. I pounced on him, picking him up by his neck. This was very difficult as he was about half my size and twice as heavy.

"Fatass."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A-" I threw him towards the stair, almost shattering his spine as he hit the spiky bumps. "YOUR A FREAK OF NATURE!!!"

I stepped fast and slammed my foot against his ribcage, shattering some ribs. "What did you call me?"

"A FREAK!!! A FUCKING FREAK!!!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!"

I picked him up, tossed him in the air, and kicked him up the stairs, flying through the steel door and hallway. I leaped up the flight of stairs, through the door, and ran down the hall. He was up against a stripper pole. I walked up to him, pulling out my double barreled shotgun. It looked funny, black with red lines on it. I loaded the shells in, and pointed at his head.

"What am I?"

"GUARDS!!! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!!! DO SOMETHING!!!" Three guards came out, bigger than Big Mac. One had a brown birthmark on his face, and he didn't look very determined. He looked, worried. That's when I saw Root, staring in disbelief.

"Your about to see a show." I said to Root. I then pocketed my shotgun and ripped off the pole that Wesh was on. I swung it around and charged the guards. I vaulted over the first and slammed the pole into the first ones face, then swung around on the pole to slam my foot onto the first guard. Neither less to say, he was out cold before he hit the wall. I dropped the pole on the ground, vaulting the guard in the air. I roundhoused kicking him in the side and grabbed him by the back of the head, as I slammed his head in the ground. I turned towards the third guard.

"Please, I have-"

"ShUt uP." I charged forward but was blocked by Root. I stepped sided and backoffed. "Why did you just save this pathetic fool."

"He's the one that saved Twilight."

"..." I turned around. "Time to die." I walked over to Wesh but Root blocked me again. "I'm getting pretty annoyed by that."

"Don't. He goes to jail."

"And why should I NoT kiLL HIm?" I felt more black magic sink into my mind.

"Because this isn't you. Lan, please. Change back."

I grabbed my head as my white magic pushed out the black magic from my mind. I dropped to the ground, trying to get this pain out. As the last of the black magic was pushed out, I felt myself drop.

Next thing I knew, I was in bed with Twilight.

~~~~~~~

Authors Note: That's a fucked up chapter, and as promised to Zero, no more fucked up chapters for a while. 3 max!

Also Zero is getting a full chapter to him. Boring I know but i'm doing this for him for all the mexican jokes i've done to him.

-Gin :3

Chapter 1.6: Smartflank

Chapter 1.6: Smartflank Because fuck you that's why. SPELIN EROER LOLZ I EAM SUR GEWD ARDAS IE R DE GRETSTERST

I woke up with a killer headache and a deadly thirst. My throat was dry and my fur was a mess... FUR?! I felt my fur like it was the last thing on earth... or ponyville... or Equestria... whatever. Still dark outside, guessing around 2:00am. I felt the soft, silky blanket drop over on my knees and the coldness of the air. I looked around to notice the window open. My window. Our window. I looked down at Twilight, with the covers up to her chin. My arm went under the covers and brushed her main and body. She was very cold, so cold actually that I was cold. Damn, I can stand out in 20 degree weather but this is freezing, and apparently Twilight thought so too. She was shivering to the coldest touch of wind. I jumped off the bed and closed the window slowly. I walked down the stairs and stopped at the hallway halfway at the steps. I walked through the hallway till I got to the end. I went through the left door and stepped in silently. There she slept, with Mint all curled up on her belly. He was so small but so cute. I went up to the makeshift bed and laid there.

I can't keep you here forever. You need a home... home...

"Son of a bitch there is a home." How could I forget? Well, I have been forgetting things recently... like that time I took a shower with T- MEMO... now that I think about it, I don't care anymore...

I walked out with a smile on my face and went back upstairs. I curled up in bed, and felt that familiar face rub against my neck.

"So, how long have you've been up?" Twilight asked.

"Not long. Just realized a way to get Nala out."

"Great! Now I get to go back to my studies!"

"And letters."

"I don't do that anymore, you know, since Celestia asked me to stop and all."

"Wha? Whatever, more time to spend with you. Say, I’m still thirsty. BRB!

Before I could get out, Twilight brought me back in.

"You know, I think I could solve that problem." She said. A certain look was in her eyes, that one look that I can't resist.

I gulped. "Is this going where I think it’s going?"

She nodded.

~~~~~~~ Royal Castle (p.s. they had sex, then got water afterwards because Lan wouldn't stop bitching.)

"So what you’re saying is true then. But why Lan?" I asked.

"Well, if it was up to I, I would call him... well... a demi-"

"DON'T SAY THAT IN MY PRESENCE!!!... I look back onto those dark days, when me and Celestia would room the lands without a care in the world. All was pure and good. But, something was missing from our lives. Others. We asked Him for a answer and our prayer was noted. Something about meteors and volcanoes going off."

"That's a way to wipe a species off a planet."

"Other pony's roamed the land with us. We built houses and farms. Schools and castles. It was so peaceful, just the world of Equestria. We shaped the alicorns from beasts to proper ponies, taught them the ways of life and peace. Then you showed up. You constantly tried to hit on my sister and every time you were rejected. Why? She couldn't take the pressure of someone to love when she had so many to love as well. You got angry and killed them all. You don't care about pony life nor do you care about feelings. You then had the nerve to ask for her hoof in marriage."

"Might I add that I have seen the ways of good, oh the mercy of evil is vanquished from my heart."

"Cut the bullshit Discord."

"Someone here is a naughty little girl, aren't they?"

"We got some ponies, winged, magical, or just plain. No alicorns, but just separation. They blamed each other for their differences, hated one another for abilities unknown. Celestia and I had to do something. No matter what we did, all they did was to ruin each other’s lives. Then that day happened. The day that a unicorn was murdered by a Pegasus. That was the last straw. We got fed up with the hate and chaos. That's when Celestia had a great idea. She said 'Why don't we show that just because you have this or that, it doesn't matter!' The idea was to send me to the moon. Make them think that we could wipe them out with a flick of a wrist. I tried to reason with her, but soon I fell to the idea too. It was good, and it would work. Dress up like Nightmare Moon and scare some people. Frighten and even blow something up every so often. Celestia came in, and did the deed. A day after I was sent, she had stated that it had worked, and would be visiting ever so often and bring entertainment. It wasn't a long 1000 years, but it changed me. She stopped coming and around year 786, nothing was sent to me. I soon went mad and when I got back, I did what I did. But when the 6 were coming, Celestia had a talk with me. She asked for forgiveness. I agreed and got my life back."

"And what was the point of this story time?"

"That control is complete and utter shit. If you think that He picked Lan, if he thinks he can just use him like that, if you think that I will stay back while this is happening, then your dead fucking wrong."

~~~~~~~ Lan's POV

"So what happened after I fainted?" I asked Twilight while she cooked breakfast. Nala and Mint stood at the kitchen table, waiting for the story to be told.

"Well, Root called for backup, got your body, and dumped you here!"

"..."

"Details woman."

Twilight huffed. "Well fine then! He said not to touch or your anything, and you were in a bad shape. He said something about going over to Fluttershy's. OH! I just remembered, he wanted to give this to you!" She teleported upstairs, leaving the pancakes on the grill. She came back with a letter in her mouth. She laid it on the table on continued. I looked at the letter.

"Well, what does it say?" Mint said.

"OH! Root said not to read that!" Twilight smiled. "Sorry."

"Well, why the fuck not?"

"LANGUAGE!" Nala said, covering Mints ears.

"He said to read it when nothing else matters. Wonder what that could mean?"

I wonder. "Oh, Nala! I just remembered! I know a place where you can stay!"

"But I have no money."

"It's free."

"So who will I be living with?"

"Mint."

"How far is it away from this place?"

I smiled.

~~~~~~~

After eating pancakes, we headed over to the house.

"This place is kinda nice. What do you think Mine?" Nala asked Mint. Mint just smiled and shook his head. "But where will we get food?"

"I got that covered, just focus on a job."

We were near the woods of Everfree Forest, the house for Root and Blue. But since Blue is king and Root lives in his personal quarters in the castle, or at Fluttershy's for some odd reason, it just sat here. No owner and in almost perfect shape.

"Lan, thank you. For everything."

I shook my head and gave her a medium sized bag of bits.

"2000 bits. Enough for the stuff you need. That's all I can give to you, and no need to try and pay it off."

"You’re an angel."

I smiled.

~~~~~~~

I returned home, with a certain Twilight giving me the look.

"YAY!"

"No." Started to laugh so hard she flipped over, holding her chest. I jumped up and pinned her down. I gave her a peck on the cheek and we both laughed.

"So Lan, are you ready for the Gala?"

I stopped laughing. This shit was serious! The Gala is soooooooooooo boring and now I have to go! "Wha-What do you mean?"

"You're coming with me! I have tickets for all your friends and my friends."

"Nala and Mint?"

"I have tickets for all your friends and my friends."

"Smartass."

"Smartflank, actually."

"And that's why I love you. I'll go over to Rarity’s for a suit."

"See you soon!"

I got up and headed for the door.

"Oh, and don't get hurt."

I nodded and jumped out.

~~~~~~~

"A SUIT!? Why sure darling! I have to perfect idea right now!" Rarity said, scribbling some notes.

"Is it purple?" I asked.

"DUH!"

I laughed as she started to gather materials. She seemed so paced, so agile with her work. The show never showed her work like this. When I saw the purple she was going to use, I remembered Twilight. For love sakes, were having a child together and I haven't even asked her too...

"Hey Rarity, do you know someone that can make jewelry?"

Rarity stopped in mid-cut. She turned around with confused, but angry look on her face. She came up to me, and whispered in my ear.

"Yes. That would be me."

Ugh... "Ugh..."

"What type do you need?"

Well, shit. How am I going to put this...

"Well..."

~~~~~~~ Blue Breeze POV

Unacceptable. Just unacceptable. How did these idiots even pass the 1st grade? I'd rather have a talk about politics with Arrell. This meeting is so boring.

"And what do you think we should about the Gala. It seems we have it all planned and YOU haven't even tried to help! It just so seems that you are not fit to be a King when you can't even plan a PARTY!" One of the old fucks slammed his hoof on the table. "If anything at all, we need Celestia back!"

"First, I’m not good with planning parties. I can fix any issue thrown at me and you're getting mad about a party?"

"Then fix the GALA!"

"Maybe you're being too hard on him?" One of the nice ones, and only nice one, said.

"... Get out of here. Pack your crap and leave. Now." This caught my attention. This old bastard was kicking this guy out for giving a opinion? This is what this meeting is about!

"But sir-"

"No buts! NOW!"

He was a young fellow, new to this thing. He's the only one I like in these meetings. "No. You stay." The young pony sat down.
"YOU can leave, Mr. Right."

"YOU CAN'T FIRE ME!"

"Just did."

He scuffed, and then realized what he was up against. "I'll be back Mr. Breeze. Princess Celestia may like you, but your nothing without me."

"Well, I think this concludes this meeting. I'll try thinking of something for the end of the Gala. Don't do drugs kids."

They all huffed and left. Diplomatics . Meh.

As I left the room, the almost fired Tuck Good came to me. "Thanks for sticking up for me."

"No prob. You’re the only one I like in there anywa-"

"SIR!!!" I turned around to see a medic come running towards me. He came up to me and caught his breath, trying to speak but couldn't stop breathing. "I... have... bad... news..."

"Well spit it out."

"Cele...stias body... it's...it's..."

"It's what?"

"It's gone... someone took it."

~~~~~~~

Authors note:

FUCK THIS! FUCK THAT! FUCK YOU! YOU TOO! FUCK THAT COUCH AND FUCK THAT CHAIR! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Also something about Imogen Heap and Vinetion being a follower on my old story. Ew.

Chapter 1.7: Sexy Suit

Chapter 1.7: Sexy Suit Just imagine that the Gala is before the Nightmare night. Lolkbuy.

As I walked out of the Rarity's shop, I trotted down the dirt path to Twilight's. The decaying trees and brisk air felt weird. My first Gala and Nightmare night is coming up. I went down my path and ended up staring down the old, oak tree that is my home. I walked in sighed a breath of relief.

"Twi! I'm home!"

No answer.

"I have books!"

Still no answer.

"Princess Luna is making you the new queen of Equestria!"

Not a single word was given.

Prob doing something productive...

I looked around and realized how fucking boring this place is. I looked at all the books and sighed again. Not like the books would change. That's when I noticed something odd. A book was sticking out. I went over to it and examined it.

How to Hide Secrets; By Hidden Hoof

Odd, never seen this book... I examined it and took it out of the shelf with my magic. I plopped it in front of me and started to read... if there was any words in it. The book was blanker than a naked baby and this book was thick! I walked over to the spot I had found it and there lied behind it, a secret button.

JACKPOT!

I pressed that sucka in and out popped another book, titled Diary... diary... HOLY SWEET SEMEN OF BABY JESUS I FOUND THE DA VINCE CODE!!!

I held it up and started to read its contents.

Day 1-

Wait wait wait wait wait... why am I doing this? This is Twilight's diary! I can't just read it!

But think of the WONDERS you can find in it!

Shut the fuck up brain. I have to put this back!

...

Day 1:

Princess Celestia told me to get a diary, but I thought it was stupid! She told me it's what other filly's do and this is taking away from my studies! If anything this is a waste of time and will prove no point in anything! I will trash this the second Celestia forgets about it.

...

"Twilight's a fucking dick..."

Day 2:

I forgot she can read minds.

Lolwut. Ok lets see. Crap, crap, crap, mare junk, time skip, parents, guy that Twilight dated, som- WHAT!!!

Day 567:

I met a cute stallion by the name of Spit Shine. Not a very nice name but he can clean anything up, and I mean anything. I think i'm in love.

...

omfg...

Day 574:

He blew it. He... He took me to a nice restaurant and then took me on top Hillcrest mountain and he... he touched me.

...

I put the book down, just in time to see Twilight staring at me in horror. Damn you brain

I did nothing! Well Twi looks really pissed... I got to do homework, bye!

"You don't even get homework, cheap bastard!!!"

"I... I... OUT!!!"

I felt myself pushed through the door and on the streets. I skid across the dirt path till coming to a stop near Suger Cube Corner. All of a sudden Pinkie Pie bursts through the doors with a shocked look on her face

"OMG DID TWILIGHT DO THAT? THAT LOOKED LIKE FUN I WONDER HOW I WOULD DO THAT HEY I KNOW WHY DONT YOU SLING ME BUT THEN I MIGHT GET HURT I KNOW YOU CAN JUST MAGIC UP SOME BUBBLE BUT THAT WOULDTAKETHEFUNOUTOFEVERYTHINGANDNOTBEASCOOLBUTYOUUNDERSTANDRIGHT?"

"What?"

"UGH! SLING ME!"

I gulped a bit, "First that sounds sexual and second no. I need to talk to Twilight."

I got up and started to walk back to the house, coming up with a plan. DAMN YOU BRAIN! I peered in and saw nothing. She turned off the lights... or I slammed my face into the door so hard that I went through it. Need to concentrate more. I backed up, trying to get the door off my neck, but it was stuck. IDEA! I pulled back as hard as possible and the door came straight off. I walked it, peering through the darkne- you know what... fuck this door. I got on my back and pushed the door off using my legs. Have I gotten... naw, too fat.

I peeked upstairs to see Twilight in bed, sobbing silently. I sighed and went to her side. I walked along the bed and came to her side, seeing her eyes peer into me as if she was scared. Not at the book but by something else. I kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry Twilight. I just-"

"Don't."

Great, I was never good at these situations. "Please Twilight... I just-"

"Just... leave me. You're not in trouble. I forgive you. It's something else."

Interruption much? "Tell me whats wrong." I sneaked into the bed sheets, wrapping my body around hers. I laid my head on her shoulders. "Please."

"... Since you've read my diary, you should know about Spit Shine."

I responded by giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"I think hes back in town." She shunned her face away from mine and hid in the pillows.

"I won't let him touch you, I promise."

She came out, mortally terrified. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID TO ME? HE... HE... seeing you with that book, I remembered all the bad he did to me. I think the book will teach you." She handed over the book to me. I grabbed it and rolled away. With my magic I held it up and flipped to the right page.

Day 576:

He came back. Back into my house. I was sleeping, in my home, and he came. He came and pinned me down...

-tear- -tear-

He raped m-

Fuck. No.

"FUCK NO!!!"

Twilight hid back into her pillows, but I got back up. "Twilight... where did you see him."

"At the market."

I nodded and teleported.

~~~~~~~ Twilight POV

I saw him teleport to Shine, knowing he won't find him.

"Good Twilight... now that we are all alone, we can have some fun."

I turned to the closet door. "Why..."

"Well... that bomb I told you about," He walked out of the closet, "I lied."

He leaped on me, pinning me down, forcing me back.

"Just like old times, eh?"

Spit Shine.

"I just came back to let you remember all those fun times we had together!" He smiled and looked back at me. "But still, it was fun taking your virginity."

I almost screamed but held back my mouth.

"You see this device," He held up a collar. "It's a shock collar! This thing has just enough juice to get rid of the third wheel... or baby..."

"No..."

"Yes, I made this! Now, I will be watching you. You speak one word about me, and I push the button. You don't have to worry about your body, worry about the 'other'." He clamped the black collar to my neck. "Also, it was a mic in it. I can hear everything you say, just more reasons to not... well, you get the point. Have a nice day!" He got up and opened the window. "You know, you didn't have to leave cantorlot to get away from me."

He jumped out of the window.

~~~~~~~

Editors note,

Short, i'll note that. Its this or nothing. Took me 2 weeks to make this and damnit i've procrastinated like FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK. Writers block and Minecraft for xbox!

Chapter 1.8: Secrets Revealed

Chapter 1.8: Secrets Revealed

I sat in the building with my nice cup of coffee, a donut, and a newspaper. The paper had absolutely nothing in it as it was boring as hell. I let go of the paper, ate the glass mug, and threw the donut at waitress screaming 'SATAN MADE ME DO IT!' and walked out of the coffee shop.

Come to think of it, I don't even like coffee.

Well, it would have been nice if I had got what he looked like. Oh well. When I see that bastard, I'll give him a reason to fuck with Twilight... litterly... still, I can't believe that I wasn't her first. Kinda saddens me. Now that I think of it, again, why am I here? Something about... something. I came to the... fixed door? She must have fixed it. I came to the door and opened it to see, once again, blackness.

"Tw-"

"LAN!!!"

HIM!!! I completely ignored the stairs and flew to the room. There was Twilight, the same old Twilight, but scared.

"Where is he." I said, lowering myself. As my hooves felt the floor, my magic felt my needs, granting my wish and searched the room with a pulse of white magic. Nothing. My magic stopped pulsing and resumed a faint humming in my left ear. Very annoying but everytime I use magic, I get a weird humming in my ear. I jumped on the bed with Twilight and laid beside her. I climbed on her carefully, feeling her body shake. She was deffently scared. I nuzzled her on her snout (the feels weird to type) and gently said to her;

"It will be okay."

"I know..." Twilight said. Her eyes looked downward and she put the pillow on her head. I took the liberty and took it off of her. I laid it aside and and rested my head on hers.

"If anything is-"

"Nothing is." Twilight said with a small wimper.

I sighed. This is going nowhere. "It looks like you've seen a ghost."

"I haven't. Just a little shaken up."

And bingo was his name... o... "And why is that?"

"Its nothing. Well, are you hungry?" Trying to change the subject? Well, I shouldn't be hacking away at her privacy. I'll leave this alone for now.

"Sure!"

~~~~~~~ Roots POV

I took off my helmet for the night. The are was getting colder and the freezing helmet wasn't helping my ears. Fluttershy was complaining about the ears... always the ears... well, to be honest, I know she is just looking out for me but... always the ears.

I turned and looked out by the window to see the sun setting. Such a beautiful sunset, only the window to be separating me from her. I'm always working, never a rest. I wish I could spend a day with her. Just one would be enough. I do need the money but Equestria doesn't have any of those laws were workers get breaks, atleast for guards.

The moon was rising from its much needed rest, as it rises from the-

"Dude, are you ok?" Blue said.

GAH! "Oh... ya... i'm... i'm ok." I quickly stopped looking at the window and resumed my position, right in front of the kings chair.

Blue pressed on even more. "You sure? You seem, distant?"

"I haven't really had any time to myself recently, but i'm ok." If only...

"Root... Will... do you need a day off?"

"I'm good. Gotta pay the bills, and all." Wait... shit I hope he di-

"Bills, Will?" That kinda rhymed...

"You know, a joke. Hehe."

"I don't think so William. Are you seeing someone?"

GAH! Shit, Fluttershy told me to keep it a secret because she felt she wasn't ready for other pony's to know. I guess she is really shy... "Well, no."

"Don't lie to me William. I don't like being lied too."

I never noticed how threatening Blue is. Well... "Ya... but I can't tell you who."

"Fluttershy."

WHA... WHAT!!! How did he...

"You smell like animals and AJ isn't a mare that cheats."

... "Ya... just don't tell anyone."

"Have to week off. Spend time with her."

Out of all the people, I would think that Zero would find out first. Well, if i'm going to have this week off, I might as well spend it with Fluttershy. I mean, how could I not? Haha. "Thanks, man!"

Blue smiled back, "No prob!"

I snapped my neck and flew out the back window, heading straight for Fluttershys house.

~~~~~~~

I landed myself right in front of the door of Fluttershy. I knocked twice and came in, surprised by the sudden yellow blob knocking me against the ground, barely. "WHA?"

"Did you tell anyone?" Fluttershy whimpered a bit. I could overpower her easily but at times like this, I just let her do what she needs to do. I laid back and smiled.

"No babe. It's all good." Hopefully she bought it.

She shook her head. "Someone found out. I know you told someone." She didn't buy it.

"Look, it's ok." I wrapped my arms around her neck. "Babe, just calm down." I could feel her breathing heavily, and her eyes were filled with fear. "Ok, I didn't tell, but Blue fou-"

"HOW?!" Fluttershy screamed, well, what you would call normally talking.

"He just found out!"

"..."

"I'm sorry..."

I laughed, "Don't be. Look, lets get to bed."

~~~~~~~

SOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking boring.... luckily, the next chapter is going to be fun... hehehe.... hHAHAHhahHshahAHAHahAHAhA

Oh and for specific reasons, my editor Ice hasn't been on in a while. I need a backup. Any one in?

Chapter 1.9: Lan vs Lan?

Chapter 1.9:Lan vs Lan?

I looked at the cold metal ground, shaken in fear. My life has been a lie. All of it. Nothing is true and I can't tell what is... how... how did I trust her...

~~~~~~~ Root/Narrator. Because f--- you.

I lay in bed with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I'm going mad... a mare, PONY!!! And i'm falling in love with her.

I wrapped my arms around Fluttershy, who was already asleep, and cuddled against her back.

Ok Will, you... are in love... with a pony. A talking pony... remember when you dating humans? I would do anything just to go back to Earth for a couple of days, hell, hours. But then again...!!!

"Fluttershy."

She didn't wake. I pushed her a tab bit.

"Fluttershy."

She still didn't wake. The rumors are true, once you get Fluttershy to get in a comfortable sleep mood, she won't wake up... unless! My hoof slid down her body. I leaned to her ear.

"It's time."

She woke up violently, slamming her head into my snout.

"ROOT!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! DON'T YOU EV-" She stopped suddenly, and I felt her arms reach around my waist. She held my tightly, and I could hear her sobbing silently. "I'm sorry..."

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!" I threw my hoofs to my snout as my nose was now bleeding. She can hit... damn... wait why does this feel like this is going to happen again? Whatever... "Grrr... sorry... uh... ow... eh, nevermind. Look, I have to go."

"W... why?" Fluttershy said, looking up at me and away from my now soaking stomach. I patted her on the head and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. "Lan is in trouble." I smiled as she pondered my thoughts. She lifted her hoof to question me but I stopped her. "When you are friends with him, you know somethings down."

"What is down?" Fluttershy asked.

"Down is the... wait what? OH! I mean that I know hes in trouble from time to time."

"Then why would you put time in-"

-BOOM-

The house shook with the intense shock from the unknown blast, causing the house to shake violently. A dish here, and cup here. The only real problem now was getting Fluttershy out from the covers.

"S-SHY!!!"

The sheets vibrated as hard as the house as Fluttershy hid from any sound. 'Wow...' Root thought. "Shy... come on out."

"No."

"Shy."

"No."

"Sssshhhhyyyyy."

"... No."

"Please."

"..." She poked her head out of the covers were only her head and a lock of hair was sticking out. "..."

"You want me to stay, don't you?"

"..."

"But I have to-"

"..."

"Fine." Lan... I hope you can do this by yourself. You are not very good with fighting by yourself... but... naw, he can do it.

~~~~~~~ A little while earlier. Lan's POV

I snuggled up against Twilight's back as my full stomach was filled with cupcakes, pancakes, and whatever that brown stuff was...

"Hey Twilight? What was the brown stuff?"

"Well, it would have been waffles but you kept poking me and running away, over and over again."

... As I was saying, my arms around her waist and my body... aw fuck it, I was wrapped harder than a Subway sandwhich... fuck subway... that is ofcourse till I felt some weird thing on her neck. I looked at it with a strange eye, wondering what it was. I took my right hoof and messed with it. Was this a co-?

Twilight's head slammed straight into my snout harder than anything has. I threw my hoofs to my face and held it there, feeling the small trinkets of blood touching my phur.

"OMY GOSH!" Twilight jumped off the bed and landed by my side. As I sat there, I felt her hooves digging at my hooves, trying to get my own to move. "Let me see it." I moved my arms... hoofy arms... army hooves?

Hold up... wait, what do you call it? Arms? That doesn't seem right. Nose is snout, hands are hooves... WHAT THE FUCK IS ARMS???????? Whatever...

I moved arms to see Twilight's face shiver with fear. She closed her eyes and the room lit up as her magic focused on my nose. My nose twitched with slight pain, but shimmered down a bit. She opened her eyes ans smiled, letting me know that my nose was fixed.

"Sorry about that..." Twilight said "You just kinda scared me."

"It's ok." I looked down from her face to her neck, still being able to see the collar. "Hey Twilight? What's with that collar?"

Silence filled the room, and her eyes darted away from mine. She got back up without hesitation and attempted to lay back down. "I can't tell you."

Fear struck me, I could tell she was scared. But why would she? What would her collar be so... special? Is it meant to hurt someone? Hurt me? No... she wouldn't do that...

Maybe she lied to you...

WHAT?! Who said that? Who's there?

Lan, she lied to you, but it was to protect you.

WHO ARE YOU?!

Twilight looked at me, "Lan? Are you coming to bed, or are you going to sit there?"

I had to think fast! I was kinda thirsty. "I'm going to get something to drink."

"Can you get me some water?"

"Ok."

I walked down stairs and poured two glasses of water.

Ok, who is this?

My name isn't important. I'm here to tell you something.

Ya, I know she lied to me, but what?

About how she saw Spit Shine.

...

With my magic, I held the two glasses as I walked upstairs. I opened the door and left it open. I sat down the two glasses on my side, and as Twilight reached for one, I blocked her off.

"What did he do to you."

Twilight's eyes shot wide, but quickly pushed it away. "I don't know what you mean."

"Did you lie to me about Spit Shine?"

"..." She started to reach for the collar, almost trying to take it off. I didn't understand, till the door exploded.

~~~~~~~ (Now that I realize it, I think I have some weird fascination with doors exploding.) Royal Castle

-BOOM-

"What was that?" Luna said, lowering her cards.

"I don't know, but I can see your cards." Blue said angrily. "All in."

"Maybe somepony is in trouble." Arrell said. "All in."

"It's your turn, Arrell." Blue said. "And it's probably Lan being a idiot."

"Maybe I should go check." Luna placed her cards on the table and walked to the window. She could see smoke coming from Ponyville, exactly where Lan and Twilight sleep. "Yep... Lan." She walked back over, noticing all the chips in the middle of the table. She sighed a little. "I'm going to bed." She flipped her cards and pushed all the chips in the middle.

"Hm! YOU GOT NOTHING!!! LOOK AT THESE BABIES!!!" Four kings and a three.

"PPPFFFTTTT WHAT ABOUT THIS!!!" Arrell showed his cards, a outstandingly terrible hand.

"YOU HAVE NO CARDS IN YOUR HAND THAT COULD EVEN BEAT A PAIR OF TWOS!!!!!! GGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-blam-

"I think he died." Arrell said, poking him with his hoof.

"Nope, just blacked out."

~~~~~~~ The Library

Twilight hugged against me as a rain of wood flew through the library. I pushed her away, telling her to hide, and took a look out the door. A unknown yellow stallion, and he looks a bit pissed.

"Well well well... if it isn't my ol-"

"HEY!!!" I yelled out, "There isn't a well in this house."

The stallion looked at me, and then facehoofed... hard...

"I meant that... that I... that... SHUT UP!!! Look he-"

"No you shut up!"

"... Twilight... you seriously LIKE this guy?"

Twilight barely peered out from my coat, as her body trembled with fear. "Lan... I need to get spike." She whispered in my ear. "Just protect me."

"Wait? Who is this guy?" I looked back at him, as he looked back. Something in his eye... something bad.

"My... my... my ex..."

He smiled...

...

tick...

tock...

tick tock... tick tock tick...

DING DING DING

"OH F--- NO!!!"

My body launched forward, and as my hoofs hit the ground, I slid on my side, and went for a hind uppercut. My feet made contact, but with no prevail, as he easily blocked my feet and and pushed my feet away with a stroke of power, and just like that, pain shocked through my body. Blood puked from my mouth, and his elbow hit me straight in the kidney, and did a quick but powerful punch to my stomach. My body slid across the floor, the piles of door and bark slid over and under me, and into the small statue Twilight has in the middle of the living room.

My broken frame, shattered from abuse. Blood dripping from my mouth, as the metal taste never goes away. The wind knocked out of me, added to the air gasping pain. I had just enough power to see the Twilight was getting away into the black night. I smiled for once.

Spit Shine trotted to me, so majestic like. I was powerless, as he went my my broken body and then beat me senselessly. I could hear my bones shattering, more wind knocked out. I was losing my grip on reality. I couldn't feel my lower body. I smiled and said something, but I couldn't hear. It was too late for me. He pulled out a knife, knowing not where he got it from, and then... it was over. I want to rip out his fucking entrails and hand them as decorations for what he did to Twilight. Twilight... twilight... twi...

...

Over so soon?

...

You know... he is going for Twilight now.

...

Going to ignore me?

...

Don't you remember me? I was there, always waking you up. Shaking you to get back up.

...

Why won't you answer?

...

Oh... you're dead.

...

~~~~~~~

No... no it won't end like this. No. NO! NOOOOOOO!!!

~~~~~~~

Spit Shine pulled Twilight back into the house, with the knife at her throat. He pushed her towards Lan's limp body. Cold and desperate for life. She looked over the one she loved. She was crying, but not for Lan. She knew that what ever was going to happen to her, was going to be a worse fate.

Spit Shine dropped the bloody knife from his mouth, and simply smiled. "So... he knocked you up, eh? How surprising, I thought you were never going to touch another mate again... how divine." The way he said divine made Twilight shiver with fear. "But nether less, I will have to get rid of the witnesses, but not by death, oh no. You see, ever since you ratted on me, I had to run, each day and night getting away from those bastard guards. The only way I could get away was to fake my death."

"Yes... it was perfect really. They went away, but I was so far from my wittle baby."

"Please... s-stop..." Twilight pleaded. Spit Shine's hoof traced her chin, and down her chest.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt bad. It will hurt a lot. Now turn around." Spit Shine attempted to push her around, but something caught weary. He looked behind him, and there, stood a small filly and her mother, looking in horror as their neighbor being assaulted.

"Witnesses." Spit said. He turned around and walked towards the mother and daughter. He reached what is left of the doorway, but was stopped by Twilight's voice.

"NO!!! PLEASE!!!"

Spit Shine turned his head around, and looked at Twilight. "Fine, I will let the go, but..." He looked at the two ponies. The mother jumped infront of her child, blocking her. "But..." Spit Shine brushed back his popped up mane, revealing a glowing horn. Twilight looked down and saw the knife slightly glow yellow, and as she gasped, the knife went straight into the mothers head.

~~~~~~~

"Male, yellow and orange, fuzzy hair and a unicorn.This pony is strange. How is Lan doing, my child."

"Oh him... hes dead."

"... Dang."

"Well... sorta..."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know."

"... Dang."

~~~~~~~

"Now... where were we?" Spit Shine loomed over the filly, smiling ever so happily. "It's two for one day, oh how exciting!"

The filly, barely old enough to walk, holding her deceased mother's arm, trying to shake her out of it.

"She's dead, little runt."

"Mommy... wake up!"

Spit Shine kicked the filly into the library, close to the new doorway. The filly gasped for air, for Spit Shine didn't hit her that hard. The area got a little bit brighter, but Spit Shine ignored it.

"I killed her. She is gone forever, and you will never be with her again."

"No." The filly whispered.

"Fucking pile of shit." Spit Shine picked up the filly and slammed her into the wall with his magic. The girl screamed with pain, blood dripping out of mouth. "What did I just fucking tell you? Do I have to kill you too?" The area got even brighter, but atlas, he ignored it.

"MOMMY!!! MOMMY HELP ME!!!" The filly squirmed, but Spit Shine hit her harder.

"You know... now I ain't going to kill you, but I will keep you as a pet. A... a sex slave."

"NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR PET!!!"

"Too fucking bad." Spit Shine said. The area got really bright, too bright. "WHAT IS THAT?!" Spit Shine looked a little to the left, and all he did was tense up. His became unfocused, his magic dropped the little filly, as she sat herself against the building. He took a step back, and took a deep breath.

"Having fun?" Said the glowing pony.

"I... I... I... I killed you."

"The name is Lan Jenkins." Lan leaned in front of Spit Shine's face. "Oh, ya. I am over the top pissed." Lan's wings separated from his body, casting even more magic through his body. Sparks of white magic healed the wounds, and replenished Lan's body. Lan turned to Twilight.

"Get out of here."

"I WON'T LEAVE YOU AGAIN!"

"Take the child and run."

"I TOLD YOU! I WON'T LEAVE YOU."

Lan turned back to Spit Shine. "Leave the filly. Now."

Spit Shine gave one last gulp, and regained his confidence. He put his hoof in front of the girl and smiled.

"And what are you going to do to stop me?"

Lan gave one little smirk, and said. "I was hoping you would say that."

Lan flapped his wings and snapped his neck, and then a bright flash lit up the small town. Spit Shine hissed and took a step back, but when he opened them, he had no time to react. Lan slid across the ground, and knocked him in the air with his hind hooves. He then bounced off the wall, and drived his hind hooves into Spit Shine's stomach. His body hit the ground hard, and bounced a few yards before stopping and coughing up blood. Having the wind knocked out of him, he looked up to see Lan pick up the crying filly and give the child to Twilight.

"Go Twi, I will be fine." Lan smiled. "Trust me."

Twilight looked at the small blue and cyan haired filly, and then, she felt a small pain in her neck. She looked back at Lan, to see that he had cut the collar of, but with a slip of magic, he had cut her.

"Sorry."

Twilight laughed, but then stopped. "LAN!!!"

Lan turned around quickly, and with a bright flash of light, he grabbed Spit Shine's head and hind legs. Lan was in his human form.

"WHA-"

"NO MORE!!!" Lan yelled, threw Spit Shine across the road. Lan teleported behind the still air born Spit Shine, gave this punch his all. With a breath of air pushing against Lan's face, he punched Spit Shine so hard, the everything just stopped.

The wind stopped, time stopped, everything thing. That's when Lan retracted his punch, and front flipped over Spit Shine, connecting his boot with his face. His body slammed into the ground hard, as dirt and gravel was flinged through the air. As the dust settled, Lan jumped back to Twilight.

"Wha... what happened?" Spit Shine said. "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!? AND WHAT ARE YOU?!"

"One, I kicked your ass.Two, I have magic, and I refuse to die. Three, human."

Spit Shine coughed a little blood and smiled. "Oh well, it was a good fight, but it has to end sometime." Spit Shine pulled out a switch, what looked like a detonater. He gave one smile, "I always have a back up plan."

"BACK UP?!" Lan yelled, as he pulled out his Desert Eagle. "TELL ME!!!"

Spit Shine's smile got bigger, "Yep. You think I would just add a collar to her? I also added a little bomb to her neck, a explosion so big that it could take out half of this town."

"How do you do tha-" Lan started to say.

"Nonono, if you continue, I will make it explode. I don't know what you are, or how you survived, but I won't lose. Bye bye, Twilight."

Lan leaped forward, trying so hard to stop him. It was too late. Spit Shine pressed the button.

...

And nothing happened. Lan fell to the ground, feet first and stood up. He looked around, but nothing was there.

"Uhhh..." Spit Shine said. "Fuck me. WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!!!"

That's when it hit Lan.

But with a slip of magic, he had cut her.

Lan smiled. "It's over."

That's when around twenty crystals went through Spit Shine's body.

~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: Talents Gone Wild

/|*Chapter 1:Talents Gone Wild*|/

"Lan, are you sure your ok? I'm really sorry that you didn't want to do this...I thought it would be fun... just you and me-"

"A-a-a-and about fifty o-o-o-other people!"

"..." Twilight looked at the ground in sadness. "What are you going to do?"

Lan perked up. Zero was about to finish his song. He was playing a Legend of Zelda tune on his guitar, which was cool considering out of all games, Lan loved Zelda the most. It was a classic, and who doesn't like the classics.

Of course this was all in a talent show that Twilight decided to enlist Lan in. Lan trotted around his equipment and started to worry. The big crowd, the pony's that waited for you to fail, and the fact that Zero had make a joke about Twilight and Lan was going to kill him. Maybe in his dreams, thought Lan.

Then, Zero finished his song, the crowd went wild. It was entertaining to say the least. Zero had hitchhiked with Lan and Twilight because he felt left out. Applejack and the rest of the crew was down in the audience, and even Luna decided to show up. Maybe I can sneak out and hide under the building and wait for Twilight, thought Lan. Lan looked behind him and saw Twilight looking up on stage, and with it, her mouth dropped. She hurried back in and started to help Lan. There was a stallion speaking but Lan was in too much shock to listen, or care.

"Lan," Twilight started to push Lan's gear on stage. They where behind the curtains so they could get set up faster and not have to do it on stage and waste valuable time. "Help me get your stuff on stage, once... she... finishes, it's your turn." Lan helped her put things in place, and did a quite test to see if they worked. Sadly they did.

"So why don't you like talent shows?" Twilight asked moving a electric guitar.

"As a kid, I sorta fucked up on stage big time. Broke a $600 guitar and three peoples legs."

Twilight flinched. "How is that possible?"

"I also took out 7 lights."

Twilight flinched again. What ever Lan did, it wasn't her problem.

Lan's hearing came back and heard a voice he didn't want to hear. "... Is that... TRI-!!!" Twilight jumped and closed his mouth.

"Shhh. She doesn't like people to interrupt her... performance." Lan took a peek outside and saw Trixie doing flashes of lights and images in the air. Needless to say, she sucked. Bad. Lan faked a barf, which a viewer say and laughed his flank off. Trixie was about to kill him.

"HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY PERFORMANCE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!" She stamped her hoof down and Lan preceded to hide behind the curtains.

"Ok, maybe i'll get second to last place..." Lan gulped. "At least I have one fan."

"Lan... I want you to beat her, I do not like that mare."

"She was... nicer on the show."

"Do tell."

"And that is all from the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" She bowed and left the stage, entering behind the curtains.

"Did you enjoy the most excellent performance from THE GREAT-" She stopped and stared at Lan, almost studying him. "Why hello there." She said lustfully. Lan secretly held down a barf.

"Trixie... it was... nice." Lan looked behind him to see that Twilight had hid. "I'm going to flip my shit next time I see her." Lan thought.

"Now how did you know Trixies name?"

"You said it like 15 times..."

Trixie blushed, leaving in a hurry. Lan heard the pony that help with the talent show.

"Well that was... interesting?"

"Leastwise..." Lan muttered to himself.

"Sorry Lan, there would of been hell if she saw me." Twilight appeared in a flash. "Do you need anything?"

Lan thought to himself. "If i'm going out of here,I''m at least taking out a few lights and bones." Lan thought, "NO, I'm are going to win this thing even if I'm going to kill someone."Then Lan got a idea.

"Twilight, read this, learn it." Lan handed her a sheet of paper. "You could just learn those parts but-"

"Done."

"What?"

"I'm done... I know it all."

"Damn."

"And now a special guest, the one who saved us from The Nameless, LAN GIN!!!" The crowd exploded. Not literally because then the janitor would get pissed. The curtains opened and the bright lights blinded Lan. Lan froze and the crowd grew silent. "Pull yourself together Lan, you can do this." he thought. Lan loved the song he was about to play. His favorite song and his favorite band. Back as a human, Lan learnt this song on both keyboard and guitar. Lan turned on the machine, which lets a person repeat certain music. Basicly, you strum, it repeats after so many seconds. One man band... pony...

"... Hi..."

The crowd didn't respond, except of Zero who was giving Lan a rape smile.

"... Fuck it!" Lan started to strum and play the keyboard. The room filled with echos of piano and guitar. That's when Lan started to sing.

Feel good

City's breaking down on a camel's back.
They just have to go 'cause they don't know wack
So all you fill the streets it's appealing to see
You wont get out the county, 'cos you're bad and free
You've got a new horizon It's ephemeral style.
A melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they've got to kiss, because I don't get sleep, no..

Lan paused.

Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all there on your stride
It is tinking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Let's turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

Zero dropped his smile.

Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Lining them up-a like ass cracks,
Lay these ponies at the track
Its my chocolate attack.
Shit, I'm stepping in the heart of this here
Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
Watch me as I gravitate
Hahahahahahaa.
Yo, we gonna go ghost town,
This motown,
With yo sound
You're in the place
You gonna bite the dust
Can't fight with us
With yo sound
You kill the INC.
So don't stop, get it, get it
Until you're Jet Ahead.
Yo, watch the way I navigate
Hahahahahhaa

Lan decided to leave this part to Twilight.

She sounded as a goddess, and as the song ended with piano solo, the crowd fell silent.

"Well at least there not laughing."

Lan was right, as they burst into cheering and hoof stomping. The crowd had loved him, and when I mean love, they would die for Lan. The crowd screamed and the talent show host trotted on stage. "I think we have a winner!" He said as he handed a trophy almost bigger than Lan himself.

"Congratulations Lan!"

"You helped."

As Lan went to the backstage, the other contestants congratulated Lan, patting him on the back and picking up their jaws.

"I say Lan, you were great!" Twilight said, kissing him.

As the time passed, Twilight and Lan found themselves walking the path back home alone, with the gear in Lan's head.

"I don't know Lan, you were amazing!"

"You were better!"

The two laughed.

"You sounded like a goddess."

"Did I? Must have got in the mood."

Lan stopped. Twilight looked at him.

"Whats the matter?"

Lan looked at Twilight, who was now clearly pregnant. "I don't know..." Lan held his head. "Forget about it, lets go home."

Twilight agreed but was still worried.

"Is it about Trixie?"

"Sorta..."

"Don't tell me you have fallen for her!"

"BLEH!!!"

The two laughed.

~~~~~~~

As Lan snuggled up with Twilight, he held her in his embrace. This of course is the aftermath of what was called "Operation Infiltration" as the royal guards liked to call it. A month and a half ago, they fought for Equestria against Nish and X. Through hardships and battles, they made it out alive.

Lum and Nightwing share a cell in the royal prison for their acts against ponykind. They wouldstay in the cell untill officials approve their release forms, which was going to happen.

Celestia was buried in the royal garden and is now visited over 300 times in every day mostly by Twilight.

Twilight was infact pregnant and is now married to Lan. Lan's horn and wings were fine and he is able to control magic much better thanks to the help Twilight.

Blue Breeze is now the king of Equestria and is now being guarded by Root. He shares the throne with Luna.

Luna is going through therapy for the lose of her sister.

Zero blew himself up... I know... dumbass. He's ok though... just blew himself up.

Arrell is ok after his fatal wound at the fight with X. He is now under the care of Luna.

The Nameless' hq was destroyed, to the hope that no one would use it.

Discord apologized for his past actions, but still feared in parts of Equestria.

As for everyone else, they are doing fine. Little therapy here and there but its all good.

As the town calms down, the inhabitants fall into a deep slumber. The night goes on and day by day, the children play and continue there lives, as if nothing happened. Only the mane six and Luna know about the bronies real past, which the only one that really cared at that point was Pinkie wanted to tell every damn living thing, which was knocked out by Root. So, Lan made his choices and good things came out of it. So no more choices for our hero?

A Hero's Tale.

~~~~~~~

Chapter Q and A: Lan UNRELEASED

Chapter Q and A While i'm coming up with ideas for the next chapter, which I got half of it done, but I still need the first half of ideas so if you got any good ones for what Lan, Discord and Zero could do in Mexicolt, send me a pm. In other news, zoopity doop lets go!

"... OK! Where, and I mean WHERE, is Lan. I told him to be here at 10:00 am and he isn't here. Just great." A bland grey colt said.

"What time is it now?" A tan pegasus said, floating on a cloud.

The grey pony looked at a clock nailed crudely on a wall. "2:34 pm..."

"..."

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Thats when they noticed a beeping sound.

*beep*

"What was that?" The floating pony said.

*beep*

"I don't know..."

*beep*

"Is sounds like-"

*beep* *beep* *beep*

"Its getting fas-"

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *DING*

"FRIES ARE DONE!!!" A voiced screamed behind the door. Well, what was left after the explosion sending shattered pieces of door everywhere. A white pony stepping in, this of course being Lan Jenkins. "HI!"

"DAMNIT WHERE WERE YOU!?" The, obviously angry, grey pony said.

"Shit, lets get this over with. So whats the gimmick?" Lan said.

"..." Both the pony's said nothing.

"I guess I have to do it. You, the grey one, you get angry very easily and want to do your job. You ask the questions and do nothing more." Lan pointed at the tan pony. "You suffer from a condition where you can't use your legs and must use a cloud to move, judging by the fact that you are earth pony. Also you take notes on everything I say. Am I correct?"

"..." They didn't need to answer. Lan had guessed it all.

"What ever, first question! Now, the viewers want to know the truth, so tell it or i'll-" Lan gave the 'don't make me kill you' stare. The grey pony, known as Grey Guild, gulped. "Ok, first our questions, what was your favorite thing to do in the past when you were a human?"

"Well, that is mostly just bullshit and lies. Things I've wanted to keep in the past. But I did have a pet turtle! Oh wait, my dad ate him."

"What was his name?"

"Stew..."

"..."

"... That's... ironic..." The tan pony scribbled something down. "So,