Nocturne of Shadows

My eyes burst open and I yelped as I accidentally stared at the sun. I yelped and turned onto my stomach before pushing myself up into the sitting position. I looked around and saw a flat rock plain with a forest a little while away. I sighed and stood up before feeling something jab me in the back of the leg. Reaching down I paused at the sight of Sombra's horn sticking out of a scabbard. Pulling it out reveled that a blade made of some black crystal grew from it.... Cooool.

I paused and thought about what I could do revolving my new superpowers. “Lets see... Darkness and crystals.... Well, darkness can be related to gravity and absence of all things. He’s a unicorn so magic is an option along with teleportation... I could absorb attacks with ether the crystals or darkness.” I slowly grinned, “Ice counts as a crystal and using the crystals I can control vibrations and electricity, granted I use the power correctly.” As I finished speaking my grin was nearly splitting my face. “Ohohohoho This is going to be fun....”

I sighed and stared walking towards the forest when a loud clang echoed around me. I stopped and looked down at my feet, only to discover that I was covered in a silver armor. I... I have nothing.... I’M WEARING SILVER. FUCKING. ARMOR!!!!! Turning my head I saw a red velvet cloak hanging from my shoulders. I slowly moved a hand up to my forehead and paused when I felt a band of metal. Removing it showed a silver crown with red, purple, and black crystals imbued in it. I slowly put it back on my head and sighed, I’m... I look like a king.... FUCK YES!

I started moving towards the forest again with a spring in my step, this is the greatest day of my life! I’m not only a king in badass armor, but I’m also the controler of darkness and crystals! I stopped and looked down at the sword in my hand, I could control darkness and crystals....

I held up the sword and pointed it at my shadow mentally “Pushing” myself through it. My shadow seemed to warp a little before a small ball of darkness the size of a quarter separated itself from the ground and floated up to my eye level.  I stared at it for a few seconds before a spike of pain went through my head, causing the ball to return to my shadow. I shook my head and grinned, “That... That was cooool~.” I groaned a bit and rubbed my head, “Hurt like hell though.”

You know what... I’m just gonna practice! I’ll head through the forest later! I took the sword and pointed it back at the shadow, thinking of the small ball. My shadow twisted again and the ball appeared in front of me. As I kept it there I began to feel tired, it was minor at first but after a minute I felt like I was running a marathon. I lowered the sword as the ball returned to my shadow once again.

As I stood there grinning like an idiot I heard a bunch of female voices coming from the forest behind me. Listening in I could hear what they were saying, and they kept repeating the word fun over and over again. I stuffed to back into the scabbard and began walking through the overgrowth as the voices got a louder. And after passing through a bunch of thorns I was staring at the weirdest sight I’ve ever seen.

There were a few dozen pink ponies bouncing around saying “Fun” over and over again. As soon as I got through the thorns they all stopped and looked at me. I simply stared for a few minutes before one of them jumped up and gasped, “AHHH! A MONSTER! RUN!” They screamed and ran off into the forest as I sighed and facepalmed.

“God damn it all...” I shook my head and followed them... What? If they ran off somewhere it’s obviously towards a town.

After following the screams I had made found myself outside of what appeared to be a town plucked from medieval Europe. Now... I’m not making this up, but the pink pony army had equipped themselves with different kitchen utensils. Kitchen. Utensils. One with a pot on it’s head stood on it’s hind legs and pointed a spoon at me, “Charge!!” They all screamed out a battle cry and ran towards me.

As they got closer I held my hands out in front of me and wished I could disappear. The shadows around me seemed to converge on me, making it feel as if I had plunged into a pool of ice. I seemed to fade into the ground like a guy with noclip in Skyrim surrounding me in pure darkness. I suddenly seemed to fall up from a floor inside what appeared to be an underground basement with roots on the walls. Before I could ponder what was going on I felt a massive spike of pain go through my head, followed by nausea and even more fatigue than before.

I fell on my face and dozed off into the darkness.

My wake up call was... less than enjoyable. Considering the fact it involved a chick screaming, me getting picked up by tingley shit, and pinned to a wall, I have a good reason to be cranky. A purple unicorn was standing in front of me with her horn glowing brightly. It was looking at me curiously, “What kind of animal are you...?” Huh... It’s a girl... OKAY THEN!

I glared at her, “Oi! Let. Go. Now.”

She gasped and nearly dropped me, damn it. So close... “You can talk!?”

I increased the power of the glare, causing me to see purple on the edges of my eyes. “Yes.” I hissed, “Now put. Me. Down.”

She backed up a bit before her eyes widened, “Sombra!?”

I shook my head, “He died, I am the new king now.”

She grimaced, “He’s... Dead?”

I nodded, “Yes. Minutes beforehand he passed his title onto me.”

She looked at me for a couple seconds before setting me down, “Okay... SPIKE!”

A small purple fire gecko ran down some stairs and skid to a halt, “AH! IT’S SOMBRA!”

He turned around to run before he was encompassed in a purple glow. He flew over to the purple unicorn, who spoke up. “Spike... This is... Um, who are you?”

I sighed and straightened up, “I am...” SHITSHITSHIT! I NEED A FAKE NAME!... What? I don’t like giving out my real name. Oh. My. God. I know what to say, “King Profion.” Tell me she buys it....

She nodded in thanks, “This is King Profion, I need you to send a letter to the princess. She needs to know about him.” He nodded and pulled out a piece of parchment and the unicorn started writing down a letter.... Where the hell did he even get that? She did a little flourish and rolled it up, “Send it Spike.”

He grabbed it and blew a stream of fire on the....

“WHAT!?” I pulled my hair, “That doesn’t make any sense! Light something on fire to get it sent off to a princess an-” I was interrupted when he burped more fire, which turned into a scroll.... “That’s it, I’m done.”

He grabbed it and started reading, “My dearest Twilight, what you have told me is rather troubling. But if what you say is true then we can use this as an opportunity, I want you and your friends to help keep King Profion under control.” He looked up at me, “So... You’re gonna stay with us?”

I sighed and nodded, “Looks like it...”

You know... This is the strangest day I’ve ever had.