Nocturne of Shadows

I looked at Twilight, “Any food? I’ve been up for.... thirteen hours now and I’ve been using magic too much. So I really need a snack.”

She sighed at walked into the kitchen before returning with a few apples hovering in a purple glow.

The guy took the apple with a thank you, rubbed it on his jacket to clean it, and bit into it. I noticed Applejack staring at him, which he caught, “What?”

I grabbed an apple and bit into it, pausing at a very... strange taste. I looked at it and looked up blankly. “Is it just me, or does the apple have something on it?” I looked back down at the apple and frowned, “... I just ate something from the ground didn’t I?”

“Why do you think I just cleaned it on my jacket?” Mystery man raised an eyebrow as he bit into the apple again.

I looked back at the apple and shrugged, “Fuck it, it’s food.” Applejack was still looking at us like she was waiting for something. I leaned back a little creeped out, “Um... Why are you looking at us like that?”

“Ya just called my apples dirty.” She kept looking at me. Mystery man stared back at her.

“Okay, let me say this. You walk all day on your freaking hooves. Now, you touch everything with them. Be they apples, utensils, or food.” He then held up the apple he was eating, “Now tell me this. Do you even wash these when you get them in the basket?”

She narrowed her eyes. “No, We wash ‘em before we take them to the market, cook ‘em, or do anythin’ of the sort.”

I stared at her, “Did she wash them or her hooves before grabbing the apples?” I paused and looked at the floating apples before looking at my hands. “Nevermind... I think I got something on my hands in the forest.” Ewwwwww.

The door burst open and a white mare with a nurses cap on her head looked at Celestia and bowed. “Princess! I bring news!”

Celestia smiled softly, “Rise my little pony.”

The... Nurse looked at the other ponies, “A few minutes ago Rarity was brought into the hospital.” they gasped. “That’s not all.” She looked at Celestia, “She was brought in by the “Inheritor of The Smooze.””

Celestia froze in place and got serious real fast, “Listen to me. Are you sure that’s who brought her in?” the nurse nodded. “This is bad. Very bad. All of you, stay here. I can’t risk having you or anypony else get hurt by that.... Monster.” She closed her eyes and disappeared in a flash.

I raised my hand confusedly, “Um... What the hell just happened?”

Rainbow shrugged, “Hay if I know.” Hay.... Oh god damnit the PUNS!

“Huh.” I rolled on my heels and clapped my hands, “So! We’re stuck in a library at the moment.... Any good books on magic?” I yawned and shook my head. “Or a bed.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “Magical theories on the left and there’s a couch in the back room.”

I grinned, “Thank you.” I walked over to the couch and laid down, “Night! Morning, whatever!” I closed my eyes and faded into sleep.

I passed through a crystal hall that seemed to stretch for hundreds of feet before ending up in a laboratory. Dozens of ponies that shined in the light were walking by looking at various crystals. One with a horn walked up and said something before the area darkened, and the dream shattered like glass. Sending me spiraling into the darkness and through giant crystals jutting out all around me.

I gasped a little and bolted awake, seeing that the moon was rising slowly.

“That was a relatively short sleep.” I turned and jumped to see mystery man sitting there with an intense seriousness on his face. His grey eyes boring into my skull.

I popped my neck and scratched my arm, “I’m used to sleeping for a couple hours... Blame the school system.” I stood up and made my way into the kitchen. “... I just realized you were staring at me while I slept.”

He chuckled darkly, “I’m sure if a snake bit you you wouldn’t realize it till you were dead. Whatever, I had my own reason for doing so. Those princesses was rather intent on getting any and all info on us.” He shook his head with a smile, “Like I would divulge my name...”

I nodded a little, “Why do you think I said that stupid name....” I opened, surprisingly enough, a fridge. “Not for shits and giggles I tell you.”

“Still, you could have used a different name. The guy you're using has enough to make a herd of cows.” He chuckled.

I grinned a little, “How many good names do you know of that can be used for evil kings slash sorcerers?”

He rolled his eyes, “Even so, I at least used something cooler to fit Necromancy.”

I scratched my neck, “So what’s your guy? I don’t think I heard what or who it was.”

“Grenth. The god of death.” He replied.

I raised an eyebrow. “I meant your guy. You know, dragged to his realm, gained powers.”

He smiled, “Ah, now that would be telling. If I divulged to you my guy, you would learn his weaknesses if you looked him up. Thus, you would know how to kill me. Not going to risk it. You haven’t told me yours, so don’t expect mine. I may be paranoid, but it’ll save my life one day.”

“That’s the type of attitude my father has.” I looked at him after taking a bite of a carrot. “He thinks it’s a good idea to run off, take drugs, and live with homeless people in Portland.”

He shook his head, “Well I don’t know what to tell you about that. That sounds like a personal issue. I just don’t trust anyone in this world, given that my guy more than likely has a history here that’ll come back and bite me in the ass. Which also means that also more than likely, there’s some sort of fool with a grudge against the magic I use. I have to be ready to fight back,” He pulls out a vial of blue liquid, “Thus I carry pots with me.”

I blinked and sighed, “I’m not gonna ask what that is....” I grabbed a pear and took a bite. “But I know the whole deal with pasts coming to bite you in the ass. I can just simply tell you my guy was a dictator, slave driver, and basicly the pony version of Atilla the Hun.” I grabbed a peach and walked into the main room. “Where the hell is my sword?”

He shrugged, “Dunno. But if I were to guess, the ponies, being about as rigid as morning wood, confiscated it in case you “turn evil”.” he finished in air quotes.

I sighed and held out my hand, “.... I feel like a dumbass but, Accio.”

He stared at me blankly, then facepalmed, “You seriously just tried a Harry Potter spell?”

I shrugged, hand extended. “Who knows... Might fucking wor-” The sword flew into my hand. “... Huh.”

He stared at the sword, then gave a small smile, “Okay, now that was actually kind of cool. Almost like a jedi. For that, twenty bits deducted off of what you owe me.”

I nodded and turned the sword a couple of times, “Cool.” I looked closer and saw the crystals were overlapped on each other. “Oh cool. The sword’s really well made, but... Crystal-y.” I felt the shadows around me form into the armor across my body. “And now that fucking armor is back.”

Mystery man whistled, “Not bad, not bad. Mine’s more fitting for my profession, so no fancy armor for me.” His hand glowed a sickly green and a white spear appeared in his hands, “Tried this before you woke up. I can use bone spears.” His body was covered in his aura, and his clothes was replace with black robes with shoulder pads, a hood, and a face mask. “Even got this.”

I clapped a little. “Well done.”

“I can also summon a giant meaty arm of fuck you to crush people’s skulls. Did that earlier this week.” He replied as the spear and armor disappeared, reverting back to his clothes.

I raised a part of my shadow and waved, “Darkness.”

“Really? I thought it was grape jelly.” He said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the couch, grabbing a book and hovering it over to me. “Oh... Sorry that Captain Obvious wasn’t there to tell you what it was.”

“Oh it’s alright, I’m sure you’ll make a fine replacement for him.” He replied.

“Ha.” I laid back and started reading the book, which was on different crystals, and looking at him in the corner of my eye. “Why are you still here anyways? I would have expected you to leave.”

“I at least had the sense of direction when the moons was its brightest. thus meaning I could at least see the trail. But like hell if I’m going to risk heading into a forest of fuck, especially after I had to deal with a damn basilisk, in the middle of the night.” He said.

I looked at him after reading about the structure of crystals, “Basilisk? Paired with Max I’m beginning to think I’m in a mythology book.”

He sighed and leaned against the wall, “Try having your life flash before your eyes when you were inches away from dying. Not a fun feeling, and especially when I was nearly killed by a giant snake that actually replied to my questions.”

“I got a pet Manticore....”

He stared at me for a moment, then replied, “Once I get enough practice, I get undead creatures.”

“Cool. I got a motherfucking Manticore, aka the legendary Man-Eater.”

He gave me a thumbs up, “Cool.” He said simply.

I looked up at the ceiling, “...I want marshmallows.”

Mystery man made his way to the door, “And I need to get home, since the sun is finally up, I can get there without too much trouble. If you’re ever in the area of Sapphire Grotto, look me up.” He told me.

I nodded and looked out the window, blinking at the sun. “I’ll keep that in mind...” I sighed and planted the book on my face. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”