Fluttershy is not a pony pegasus

by Flad the Impaler

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel, Rarity, Fluttershy, Sex
Length: 6514

Fluttershy and Rarity enjoy a day at the spa, but Rarity find out more about her freind than she expected. Featuring some drinking and adult themes, but is not a clopfic.

Fluttershy and Rarity enjoy one of their weekly spa dates. However, due to a promotional mimosa give away, Fluttershy becomes uncharacteristically talkative and tells her friend how she really feels. Awkwardness and discovery over how much she puts up with ensues.

Published 2013-04-16 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-25 12:51:58 UTC

Pardons will be begged

Ahhh

Fluttershy lowered herself in to the mud bath at the spa. Now she was relaxed. The sauna had helped her sweat out her stress and the massage had worked out the kinks; now she could simply relax. She wanted nothing better than to quietly sit in the mud and sip on these delicious drinks the spa was handing out. She had never had a mimosa before, but she was fast beginning to love them. These would go quite well with some peace and quite. Rarity however had other ideas, and continued her hours long explanation of her latest business and social coup.

“…and that’s when none other than Gelded Gait came up to me asked me to work on his new fall line!” the unicorn practically squealed.

“Mmmh, that’s nice.” It was the standard Fluttershy response. Her friends often took it to mean that she was happy for them, but whatever good fortune had befallen them would have personally made her uncomfortable. However, there was in fact a another reason she always replied with her catchphrase.

Fluttershy did not give a damn. She didn't give a buck about Rarity's clothes right now; all she cared about was relaxing. Well, relaxing and having more of these delicious orange drinks. Besides, her fashion conscious compadre could stretch a five minute story into a sprawling epic, and she already had the gist: some rich pony wants more clothes, Rarity gets happy.

Oblivious to the true meaning behind her friend’s milquetoast response, Rarity continued on.

“It was so wonderful! This will be fantastic for my business, and of course this will make Rarity a household name in finest social circles in Canterlot!” she added with a slight fangirl squeal.

“That’s nice.”

“Honestly darling, sometimes I wish you lived closer to town. It seems like you always miss out on these goings on.”

“Oh no, I could never leave my critter friends” she replied, a little more absent mindedly than usual.

“Ah yes, I suppose you couldn’t, could you? Although I don’t think it’s safe for you so close to that nasty forest, but I suppose your animals need you out there.”

“Oh no, that’s not why I live out there.”

“Come again?” asked a slightly confused unicorn.

“I could just as well do my job closer to town I suppose, but I like living alone with the animals much better.”

“But darling, for heaven’s sake, why?” Rarity asked with just a slight wine emphasizing her question. She liked her friend, and really wished she lived closer to town at times. Then they could do brunches!

Fluttershy had no idea why she was admitting to this. Perhaps it was being so relaxed in the moment that she didn’t think about the consequences of what she was saying. Perhaps it was because Rarity was one of the few friends she had that actually had the social skills to cope with the truth. More than likely, the endless mimosas that the spa was offering that particular day had something to do with it. In any case, she committed her biggest blunder of the month and continued.

“Ponies are dicks.”

There was a short silence. Rarity blinked.

“I don’t think I heard you darling,” said a disbelieving seamstress. There was no way such a sweet pegasus was using such foul language.

“I said ponies are dicks,” repeated Fluttershy, who studied her drink and emphasizing her point with a curt nod.

There was a very pregnant pause. The only sounds heard were the trickling of spa water and the soft sloshing of mud.

“Fluttershy darling, I know you have some anxiety about social situations, we’ve all seen it, but I—“

“Oh no, this isn’t about anxiety at all. I just prefer the company of animals. They can’t talk you know, or make you do stuff you hate,” explained the normally shy pony. Rarity’s brow was now hopelessly furrowed despite her best efforts to keep a calm demeanor. She was going to have to come back to the spa in a few hours just to avoid the wrinkles she was now causing herself.

“You simply can’t mean that dear. What about your friends? Don’t you enjoy spending time with us?” Rarity was beginning to get slightly panicked and the rising tone of her voice betrayed her concern.

Fluttershy’s tone did not change in the slightest. She remained as quietly cheerful as ever and sank down to her neck before answering.

“Oh Rarity of course I do, you girls are everything to me.” Rarity’s brow unfurrowed itself and her eyes softened. “But if I had to spend any more time around you all than I already do, I’d probably tie my wings down then jump from a very high cloud.” With that she sank further into the mud until it came up to her nose and commenced blowing bubbles through the clay goo.

Rarity’s eye twitched. This was Pinkie Pie and the handcart all over again. Her mind was telling her she hadn’t heard her friend just say that. This was Fluttershy, her best friend, the element of kindness. Did she really just threaten suicide? She didn’t even know where to begin.

“Wh...wha...what?” was all the the white unicorn could sputter out. Fluttershy meanwhile was attempting to negotiate drinking a fresh mimosa through a straw while her mouth remained submerged. It wasn’t working all that well. Rarity regrouped and tried again. “Darling, what do you mean by that?”

Giving up on her attempts to drink through the mud, Fluttershy raised her chin out of the clay pool, and drew deeply on her drink before answering.

“I mean that I can only take so much of all of you. You’re the most wonderful ponies I’ve ever met. But you are still ponies,
and ponies can bug the hay out of me.”

Rarity was now more confused than ever. Was nasty Fluttershy back? It didn’t seem like it. There was no malice in her voice. She sounded calm enough. She still could not comprehend was her ears were telling her. Did Fluttershy not like her friends, or anypony else for that matter?

“Darling, none of us would ever try and do anything to hurt you---“

“Then why do you keep on doing it?" she countered.

Rarity's train of thought jumped the tracks. “I beg your pardon?” she asked in a slightly indignant tone.

“If you don’t want to cause me discomfort, why do you all make me do stuff I hate?” Fluttershy’s tone betrayed not a hint of anger or malice. Her voice was just as demure and kind as always, and she continued to recline in the mud bath sipping her drink. From outward appearances, no pony would guess that she was currently engaged in destroying her friend’s concept of reality. Rarity however was aghast.

“Fluttershy! Please tell me, what are you talking about?! We would never force you to do something you hate,” asked a near hysterical unicorn.

“Oh no?” Fluttershy opened one eye.

“Of course, now please stop all this foolishness and explain yourself! What have I, or anypony else for that matter, ever forced you to do?”

Fluttershy took another sip on her drink and put it down. She made eye contact with Lotus, who was bringing fresh towels and tapped her glass, indicating she wanted another. The spa pony nodded and gave her a wink. That taken care of, she turned her head to her best friend and took a breath.

“Two words: modeling career.”

Rarity’s face fell a little, but she quickly regained her composure.

“Erm, well yes sweetie, but we’ve already dealt with that particular issue, and it's behind the both of us," explained the embarrassed fashionista. She had done that hadn't she?

“Sneaking out of Ponyville when Trixie took over,” Fluttershy continued.

“Come now, somepony had to-

“The hearth’s warming play.”

“Princess Celestia personally—“

“Dealing with that sleeping Dragon.” She was on a roll now, and was not going to stop or let her friend get a word in edgewise.

“But you—“

“Being more assertive.”

“Oh yes, sorry about that one.” Rarity laughed nervously and began to examine her hoof intently.

“Bringing the water to Cloudsdale.”

“Okay, now that was a strictly Pegasus affair. You can’t blame us for that,“ claimed Rarity a rather defensive manner.

“Who all but assaulted me in my own home and made me go?”

“Well, I guess it was Rainbow Dash, but-“

“Yes it was Dash. Then there was being forced to fight her to entertain those crystal ponies. Me fighting!” She was clearly disgusted by the memory of mortal combat.

“Yes, that was tad barbaric wasn’t it?” offered Rarity.

“Ooh, and what about the dragon migration?”

“Aha! You weren’t even there darling,” the white unicorn triumphantly pointed out.

“Only because I was able to fight my way through Dashie. Can you believe Twilight stood there calmly while Rainbow tried to kidnap me from my own house? Worst wingmare ever. Never going out alone with her on a Saturday night.” She shuddered at the notion. Aloe returned with a fresh mimosa and Fluttershy eagerly took in her hooves and drew a long sip.

“These really are very good! “ She gushed. Then she thought for a second, “Although it is a little creepy how those two switch off all the time," she said while eying the spa pony like she would one of her wayward chickens.

Rarity had recovered enough from her friend’s revelations enough to snap back into reality and took stock of the situation. Then she has an epiphany of her own. “Fluttershy dear, perhaps you should take it easy on those.”

“Why? I feel so relaxed right now.” With a satisfied smile she settled back into the mud bath with a gentle “blorp” from the clay. “Besides it’s just orange juice and mushrooms.”

Rarity was utterly befuddled again. “Mushrooms darling?”

“Orange juice and champignons. Did you forget I can speak Prench? Haute Couture!” she squealed with glee. Then she eyed her glass suspiciously, turning it in her hooves. “Who knew such a combination would taste so good?” She settled back down and closed her eyes. “Probably Pinkie Pie,” she sighed.

Rarity giggled a little, and tried to cover he mouth with a hoof. “Yes, I’m sure Pinkie would think to mix those two things.” She motioned to Lotus and asked for a wine spritzer. She was going to enjoy this. Rarity thought of her other friends, and then went for a new line of inquiry. “Surely you enjoy our company?”

“Oh, of course I do! I wouldn’t be friends with you if I didn’t,” exclaimed a slightly surprised, but now obviously tipsy pegasus.

“But you said you would hurt yourself if you had to spend more time with us.”

“Maybe I was exaggerating a little," she admitted, " but I can only take so much stress Rarity.”

“Really dear, aside from our adventures, what stresses you out personally about us?”

“Well it’s not so much you girls personally that bother me. You have wonderful personalities and I always enjoy having tea or chatting with you.” She stared at the ceiling then pushed her head back and finished her drink all in one chug. She stacked the empty glass on a pyramid she was building beside the bath.

The white unicorn had to stifle a gasp at the display, but didn’t lose her initiative. How often did Fluttershy of all ponies open up like this?

“Then what is it dear? You know I certainly want nothing but your happiness,” the words oozed false charm, but the pegasus took no notice.

Instead she calmly smiled and accepted yet another glass from Lotus, who also handed Rarity her spritzer. Fluttershy watched the spa pony canter back to the front office, and Rarity thought she detected a predatory look in her eyes but quickly dismissed the notion. Surely her Fluttershy didn't swing that way, did she? In any case, the inebriated pony chose to continue her diatribe.

“It’s the daily things that you girls do. It’s not bad, it’s who you all are. It's just that I can only take it in small doses,” she explained while beginning what must have been her seventh drink of the visit.

Rarity had to admit she was slightly impressed with her friend’s stamina, but stayed focused on the matter at hoof. “Like what darling?”

Fluttershy thoughtfully tapped her chin. “Who should I start with?”

“Pinkie Pie.” Rarity thought that she was easy pony to be troubled by, a difficult one to not like.

Fluttershy closed her eyes and sighed through her nose. “She knows I hate large social events, but makes me come to her parties at least once a week.” She stared into her glass “Never has any booze either” she muttered.

“Well that’s not really fair now is it? Parties and making ponies happy are her talent.”

“She also condescending.”

“Pinkie Pie? Condescending? Really Fluttershy...” Rarity's tone was took on a slightly patronizing tone, but her friend took no notice.

“I’m a year older than her,” she muttered under her breath while glaring at her friend.

“Um, yes, quite right." Rarity was slightly taken aback by the sudden change in tone and decide to not press the issue. "What about dear Applejack?”

“Racist,” Fluttershy said flatly.

“Darling! That’s just wrong, and quite unbecoming of you to say," the unicorn scolded her friend. "Although she is a bit rough around the edges," she admitted. "How about our Twilight?”

“Dangerous Spazz.”

“Fair enough," admitted the seamstress. "Rainbow Dash?”

Fluttershy went from relaxed to suddenly animated. “Oh she’s the worst! Do realize how many times she’s nearly gotten me killed?” She waved her forelegs ask if asking the ceiling, flinging mud everywhere in the process.

“I’m afraid I don’t darling.” Rarity's eyes went wide and she quickly searched her memory. She also wiped flecks of mud form her now be-speckled visage. Fluttershy remembered however, and quite vividly at that.

“Four!" she exclaimed, splaying out four feathers from a wing in emphasis."The first was when I got pushed off a cloud because she was so clumsy and then ended up being too self absorbed to notice! I was only a filly! A filly!" she recounted

“But didn’t that help you get your cutie mark?” the fashionista offered, hoping to mitigate her friend's agitation.

“Is that really worth dying over?” she deadpanned.

“I suppose not," admitted the Rarity before trying to salvage some of Dash's image in Fluttershy's eyes. "But really, she is awfully protective of you.”

“Is that why she charged me with a lance?" Her voice was getting louder and more shrill with each recounted horror.

“We already covered—“

“Was it being protective when she made the weakest flyer in Ponyville fly into a tornado for a stupid competition?” Now she was yelling, well yelling for a Fluttershy that is.

“I don’t know dear, that’s all pegasus business to me,” she dismissed. Truth be told, Rarity had no idea why that was such a big deal. Could they not just swallow their pride an use some unicorn magic, or what was it that Twilight called it? Evap-o-ration?

“Hmpff.” Fluttershy crossed her forelegs and pouted, sticking her tongue out at the mud; a most un-Fluttershy thing to do. Now Rarity was certain. Her friend was drunk. Drunk on spa orange juice and champagne. The lady-like thing to do, of course, would be to get her some water and then get her back home. Still Rarity did have one more burning question, and this was really the only time she knew her friend would be completely honest about it. It really wasn’t proper to ask her when she was like this, but she had just finished roasting her other friends and she was curious.

“Fluttershy, darling…” she purred wile she levitated her glass of wine over to her friend. Fluttershy immediately snapped out her funk and tried to grab the glass, but Rarity moved it between the two mud baths so the tipsy pony was facing her. She lifted the glass slightly.

“What about…moi?” She batted her eyes and let Fluttershy have the drink which she quickly consumed. "What do I do that troubles you so?"

“Well Rarity,” she began as she wiped her mouth and turned to her friend.

She froze for a minute. Her pupils dilated to pinpricks, then became black opals, reducing the turquoise of her eyes to nothingness. She dropped the glass in the mud. A crooked and giddy smile passed her lips.

“Darling, are you quite alright?” Rarity was immediately regretting giving her that last drink.

Fluttershy’s eyes went half lidded and she gave her friend an awkward duckface.

Alarm bells were now beginning to ring in Rarity’s mind

“You know, youff always been my besht friend,” she slurred.

She reached a mud caked hoof out bath and bath and began to lift herself out while leering at her friend.

“You're generoush, and kind...hmmm kind,” she cooed to herself. “And you…you...wow, you have such pretty eyes.”

One of Rarity’s eyes immediately recognized the danger it was in and attempted to extricate itself from the situation by twitching uncontrollably for the ceiling. The alarm bells in the unicorn’s head turned into an air raid siren.

“Okay, well! I think that’s quite enough spa time for now! Pruney hooves and all that! WahaHAha!” With that Rarity practically leaped out of the mud bath and made for the showers. She began her rinse, trying to wash away the mud and a new and unfamiliar feeling of uncleanliness. However, she quickly realized that she was missing something. She returned to the mud baths to find that her friend had cornered the blue spa pony and was demanding something she called a “happy ending.”

Outside the spa, Fluttershy did her very best to stand up straight but couldn’t. It didn’t seem to bother her though as she continued to rant about the spa while she wobbled on four hooves.

“50 bits and no happy ending? What kind of bush league establishment is this?” she demanded, while swaying from side to side.

“Darling, I am quite sure that neither they nor I have the slightest idea of what you are talking about.” Rarity was gently using her magic to tug her friend away from the doors.

“I’ve been kicked out of better restrooms than this!” the yellow pegasus raged at the day-spa.

“You’re not being kicked out dear, it’s just time for us to go!” Rarity pulled a little harder.

“Really?! Let’s go then! Where are—“the tipsy pony immediately made for street. Unfortunately, her friend was still using her magic to pull her that way and was too surprised to stop. The pegasus tumbled into the road.

“Oh my goodness! Darling are you okay?!” Rarity immediately levitated her off the ground, but Fluttershy was still upside down.

“Look everyone! I’m Derpy Hooves!” she giggled as she flapped her wings and ran in place.

Rarity righted her friend and sat her down on the cobblestone path. She was beginning the run out of patience to be generous with.

“Darling that’s not very nice. You know she means well.” Rarity chastised her friend and checked her for bruises. “Besides, I remember you had trouble flying once or twice.” She was definitely being generous with that assessment.

Fluttershy immediately stood up.

“But not anymore sugar flanks! Watch the best flyer in Equestria do her newest trick!”

“Trick? Darling you’ve never done any tricks.” Rarity was almost pleading with her friend, but refused to make a spectacle of herself by begging, even her friend had already bypassed spectacles and gone straight to binoculars.

“Really? Then watch me do the best trick you have ever seen!” She pumped her wings and took a deep breath. The voice that emerged was eerily similar to her Gala freak-out voice.

“The ballistic butter bomb!”

And with that she closed her eyes and pumped her wings as hard as she could. With speed of a methed-out butterfly, she wobbled almost a full twenty feet before her face made contact with an oak tree and she fell to the ground. Rarity was by her side instantly. Her friend was not unconscious, just lying on her back with a crooked grin plastered on her muzzle.

“Darling don’t ever do that again!” Rarity pondered the next move. “We need to get you inside and sober you up. Your place is a little far…”

“Yes! Sexy sleepover at Rarity’s!” She pumped a hoof in celebration then promptly fell asleep at the base of the tree.

“Your place it is then,” grumbled Rarity. She levitated her now snoring friend into the air and made for Fluttershy’s cottage.

fin

Author's Note

Okay, so this is my first fic. I welcome all criticism at this point. And an editor...yeah that would be nice. But anyway, blast away, I may continue this if I think I got the knack. I always thought they all put up with quite a bit, but Flutters seems to constantly made to do stuff out of character and I always wondered if she ever internalized any of it. Also drunkershy is funny to me.

Blood will there be

"Ughh"

Fluttershy didn't want to move. In fact it hurt to move. Her head was pounding. Her wings felt all bent out of shape and ruffled. Her mouth felt like she had spent the night sucking on a mushroom. Ugh. Mushrooms. And her stomach...oh sweet Celestia!

She made a mad dash for the bathroom, managing to run into every piece of furniture in her living room on the way. Why do I even have an Ottoman? I don't even like sitting like that Lyra unicorn.

She hunched over and began to pray to the little porcelain princess. First she emptied her stomach, and was surprised to discover that there was not much there at all. She thought she had eaten some bad mushrooms for a second, but the mere thought of fetid fungi doubled her over into retching like a cat with a hairball. She was fully into her dry heaves and sweating profusely before she even thought of her mane. Luckily, a certain white rabbit had already jumped on her head and was holding her hair back.

"Oh thank you Angel bunny. That's so..urh...*hurk*!" She commenced to heaving the last of her stomach bile into the her toilette. The little rabbit held back her mane and stroked her forehead reassuringly.

When she was finally done, she slumped down on the floor and lay on her back. The coolness of the bathroom tiles felt good against her skin. She wanted to fall asleep right there and recover, but before she could close her eyes, her attention was grabbed by a tapping against her leg. Angel bunny had somehow gotten her a glass of water. Flutter shy realized that she needed to brush her teeth, or at least rinse her mouth. She settled on the latter and spat out the water in her toilet.

"Thank you Angel bunny. That's very nice of you."

The rabbit responded by hopping once.

"Oh I just don't know. I just felt so sick for some reason and I don't know why. I never get sick like this."

The white rabbit put a paw on his chin and thought hard for a moment. Then his body had a full on spasm and all his fur went on edge. His eyes dilated to pinpoints and his cotton tail poofed out to twice it's size. He jumped up one the sink and began furiously rifling through the cabinet. After throwing most of the contents on the floor, he gave up and scurried out the door.

"Angel?" Fluttershy weakly rasped.

She closed her eyes began to fall asleep. She was almost in Luna's wonderland where she may or may not have had lurid thoughts about a certain alicorn when she startled awake again. Angel was furiously jumping up and down her chest holding a cardboard box.

"Angel bunny, what's this...oh...my."

It was a pegasus pregnancy test. Technically there wasn't a difference between test for the different types of ponies; it was merely a branding issue. Like the unicorn intra-uteran device, Sailor Jerry shirts, or the earth pony prophylactic. Fluttershy quickly put the test down.

"Um no, Angel bunny I don't think that's what's wrong." She looked down at the test. "And where did even you get this?"

The little rabbit hopped frantically up and down yelling in his bunny voice and pumping his paws back and forth.

"Oh right. I guess you are a rabbit and will...um...do...things...like a rabbit." If she weren't so pale from her exertions she might have blushed. Just how old was Angel? She hadn't really thought about it. Had he added to her bunny census? She wanted to think Angel wasn't a deadbeat dad, but--

Her inner monologue was cut off by the rabbit once again tapping on her leg. He jumped up and down twice.

"What happened? Oh, well the last thing I remember I was with Rarity at the spa. We were relaxing in the mudbaths and having the most wonderful time. There also these orange and mush..*urk*...room drinks." She gagged at the thought of drinking mushrooms. How had she managed that? Why was that a good idea? She looked back down at Angel. "How did I get back here?"

Angel pushed both his ears together and stuck them up like a horn. He then struck a voguish pose and batted his eyes.

"Oh, Rarity brought me home? That's awfully nice of her."

Angel nodded his head in agreement, but quickly stopped. As if he had an epiphany, he started jumping up and down and jabbering .

Now Fluttershy could muster a blush and turned bright red.

"Um no Angel. I don't think Rarity would ever do that." She looked up thoughtfully. "I don't even know how one mare could even do that to another either. How can a mare date r--...um...well...she just wouldn't even if it was possible." She looked down at her bunny friend. "Shame on you for even thinking that Angel, my friends are good ponies...well most of the time."

Angel rolled his eyes then gave three hops.

"Oh my! You're right! When's the last time you ate? Oh dear, you probably haven't eaten for almost a day!"

Angel shook his head.

"No? When did you get fed? What time is it?"

The rabbit was gone and back in a flash with a pocket watch. He pointed to it excitedly.

"Six o'clock? But it's so bright out."

The rabbit thumped his foot twice.

"Oh its the evening? When did I get home?"

Four thumps.

"Four hours ago? Why would I take a four hour nap? And why do I feel so awful?

the rabbit hoped up on her stomach and moved his face right up to her own. He sniffed her breath; his ears drooped and he covered his nose. He hopped down and proceeded to wash his own mouth in the sink.

Fluttershy was befuddled by all of this. Why had she slept? When did she get so sick? Why could she not remember? These were questions that needed answering, but not before she had some tea. And maybe some soup. Oh, and a shower, definitely a shower.

Eventually a freshly cleaned pegasus sat on her credenza with a newly filled stomach, a cup of tea, and her mane in a towel. Angel bunny sat on her lap, enjoying a good ear scratching. It was a scene of tranquil domestic bliss that often accompanied the end of her day. The sun was begin to rest on the horizon and it would soon be night, and time for all the non nocturnal critters to turn in.

There was knock at the door. Angel groggily rose from his perch and hopped to the door to open it.

"Thank you Angel bunny, I really don't feel like getting up yet." The lepus nodded and opened to door to reveal a very familiar unicorn.

"Oh, hello Rarity, please do come in," called the pegasus from her couch.

"My dear Fluttershy, I just stopped by to see how you where doing." Rarity gave a nod to Angel as she walked through the door. "You seemed rather, well, off when I brought you home from the spa."

"Oh really, I honestly can't remember anything after the mudbaths. I don't even know how I got home."

"Yes darling, you were rather drunk at the spa, I had to bring you home"

"Drunk?" The pegasus began to shrink into her bath robe. "Oh my, I don't remember having any of Applejack's special cider."

"Heh, about that.." Rarity did feel some trepidation about explaining that she had let her friend drink her self stupid without realizing what she was doing. But she did have an obligation to be an honest friend. So she told her. She told her about what Mimosas where, and that champagne was not the same thing as champignons. She told her about the slurred speech. She told her about her, ahem, overactive libido. And finally she told her about the amazing "ballistic butter bomb" stunt.

With each new revelation, Fluttershy grew more and more red and sank deeper and deeper into her bathrobe until resembled a quite rude looking feminine hygiene product. With a pink string.

Angel meanwhile was snickering nonstop and until he was rolling on the ground laughing in a soundless bunny voice.

"ohmyohmyohmyohmyohmy..." was the only sound emanating from the feathery enchilada on the couch.

"Oh darling, don't worry so much it's quite alright," soothed Rarity. Angel, having finished his laugh, hopped back up on the couch and began coaxing his friend from her fuzzy security blanket. The embarrassed pony began to stick her head out, tortoise-like from her robe.

"R...really?" How could it be okay? I made a complete ass out of myself! Ooh, is that racist? I don't mean to offend anypony or mule. I'm sorry...why does my inner monologue apologize to itself? Fluttershy thought.

"Oh of course darling. We all have our little episodes. My talk with you was quite revealing; I am glad we had it!"

"Thank you Rarity, you're such a good friend," she said, much relieved that once again her friends were so understanding of her quirks. At least she wasn't a mean drunk, she had worried about that before. However, she was still curious about the midday's events. "Um, what did we talk about? I um..forgot"

"Not much at all," Rarity started filing her hoof. "You just told me about all the ways we've been...well, abusing your kindness."

Fluttershy's eyes grew wide. "Really?" This could be bad; very bad. She had harbored quite a bit of frustration with her friends. Being kind of a shut-in, she was not at all in to most of the activities her friends enjoyed. Sure, she enjoyed her spa dates with Rarity, but everything else was usually either too stressful or dangerous for her tastes. But she didn't want anyone to feel put out though. "I didn't say anything too, um, revealing did I?"

"Well darling, it was all quite revealing, but it was all things that we need to know. Otherwise, there's no way to keep if from happening again is there?" Rarity did want to allay her friend's concerns. Yes, she had made quite the scene, and perhaps traumatized one of the spa employees. I do hope we are still welcome there. Nothing a few extra bits won't fix I guess. At the very least she want her friend to know that it was okay to confide in her, and above all be more assertive with ponies in general. Not evil Fluttershy assertive mind you, but keeping it all inside could be just as bad.

Fluttershy however had other concerns. "Um, I didn't say anything that would hurt anypony's feelings did I? I would never want to do that."

"Well it's not like they were there darling. It's okay to confide in your friends. It's not like it's gossiping or anything to vent" Not that there's anything wrong with a little gossip though. "Although I definitely would not bring up that you don't really enjoy all of Pinkie's parties. She may not take it all that well."

"Oh, um, I think you're right." Fluttershy had heard from Dash about what Pinkie had been doing last time she thought her friends hated her parties. She remembered the nightmares that gave her and she shuddered involuntarily. Those cupcakes...

"Mmm-hmm. In any case, think we should be more mindful of your feelings and what you like dear. It isn't fair to put you through all those things."

"Oh thank you Rarity, that's very kind of you."

"Think nothing of it. You have a lot of frustrations darling, it's good to talk about them. We don't want another "angry Fluttershy" event again do we?" That version of Fluttershy honestly scared her; it had even put Pinkie in a dour mood. After she had finished replacing her cried out mascara from the last time the pegasus had gone rogue, she had found the party pony in her closet confiding to a flour sack and a dust bunny. If Pinkie could break physics, and Fluttershy could break Pinkie...the thought made her blood run cold.

"N-no, I guess not." She all of sudden became very interested in how dirty the floor was. She really did need to attend to that, what with all the critters. They tracked in dirt, were messy eaters, and left hair everywhere. In fact she really needed to take another spring cleaning day to proper--

"Also I think you have some sexual frustrations you need to address as well," interjected the seamstress. Okay, maybe she was prodding a bit too far now, but this was really the first and only time so far anything remotely related to the subject had come up. If Rarity could have her own romantic delusions, why couldn't any of her friends? In any case, she had to find out which gender her friend gravitated to; it had profound matchmaking implications for the Harlequin universe constantly rearranging itself in her daydreams. Was she waiting for that mysterious stallion to whisk her off her hooves and ravish her in the forest, or did she yearn the for the love that dare not speak it's name? If so, perhaps there could be midnight meetings and stolen kisses with a certain librarian...or perhaps an unrefined yet physically strong farmer...or an athletic douchebag. Really, the world was her imagination's palette at this point.

"Yes, I think your rig--huh? What?" Fluttershy's jaw almost hit the floor. Angel did the polite thing and shut it for her.

"You were rather aggressive with the help at the spa darling. Also you sort of came on to me--" she was interrupted by her friend abandoning robe and towel to take to hiding under her coffee table.

"Darling, please do come out from there, it's quite alright."

"No!" she said quite forcefully from the floor. Angel felt compelled to do his duty for his friend and master, and began trying to remove her from underneath the furniture by pulling her tail.

Rarity took matters into her own hooves and levitated both the pegasus and her bunny back on the the couch. Angel took to patting her hoof as is to tell her it was alright.

"Honestly, I was really quite flattered," offered Rarity.

"Oh I'm so sorry Rarity! I didn't meant it! I don't know what must have come over me." Panic. So much Panic now. She really hoped she hadn't ruined a friendship. She didn't even think of Rarity like that normally. That mare would be way too high maintenance...

"Just the alcohol, darling, I'm sure. I've had one or two moments myself over the years."

"Well yes, I'm sure you have..." said the pegasus, not thinking at all about what that meant.

" Of course, darli--wait, what is THAT supposed to mean?" Rarity suddenly bristled as she grasped the implications of her friend's comment.

"Oh nothing, just that you are more outgoing than I am," Fluttershy quickly recovered. Rarity softened for a moment. "And I'm not that type of mare."

Bristles again.

"Oh and I AM? Just what type of mare is THAT?" Rarity had had quite enough for one day. Dealing with a drunken friend in public in the middle of the afternoon was a one thing. She was nothing if not generous. Especially when it came to mollifying an upset spa pony into not pressing charges. But she was not going to have her character assassinated after she put so much effort into cultivating her image. Certainly not from said friend who was already on thin ice.

Fluttershy tried desperately to backpedal both verbally and physically but was stuck in Rarity's gaze and magical grip.

"Um, that is...ah...well..I don't, you know. Do that sort of thing." As soon as she said it, she new she had slipped up again and winced. Why couldn't she just extricate herself gracefully from this? Why was Rarity putting her in such an awkward position? Maybe Angel was right about this socialite being some kind of predator...

Rarity's eyes narrowed. "Really?" and I suppose that I do? she thought.

*squeek*

Rarity replaced the frightened pegasus to her perch and examined her hoof again. She better not have chipped it, she had already spent too many bits at the spa as it was.

"In that case, maybe you should explain what happened on the way home?" ooh this is too evil, but I want to watch her squirm a little. Just a little, not too much, but this is really quite delicious, thought the unicorn.

Fluttershy's stomach dropped and she blanched, losing her tomato-esque complexion. "Whu--what happened on the way here?" You mean there's MORE?

*BANG BANG BANG* The door shook with three huge knocks.

Fluttershy froze in fear and Angel valiantly positioned himself between her and the door. "Wh-who is that? Rarity what's happening?"

*KNOCK* "Sluttershy! You best get that philandering flank of yers out her NOW!" a familiar drawl could be heard clearly through the thick oak door.

Rarity's visage did not betray any surprise, however her mouth curled into a fiendish grin.

"You had best take that up with Applejack."

Author's Note

Okay so I'm going to keep going with this, so I needed some transition in story. This was mostly to set up the rest of what I imagine would happen. Criticism is always welcome.

Applejack's racism will be addressed.

---[EDIT 27 April] ---
Apologies to all who read this chapter already. I had posted it after being up all night and not getting any sleep. Thus there were numerous spelling errors and punctuation mistakes. I know this is a silly little story, but if you are going to be kind enough to take time out to read it, then I should offer my best. A thousand pardons, I won't post with more review time again.