Rafting Against the Current

As Twilight read, she questioned her magical abilities. You see, Twilight had been searching for the right spell to travel back in time to see her friends again. Her friends had died a long time ago, but, since Twilight was a princess, she was immortal, and thus still alive.

She had thought about trying the spell she had used to attempt to warn her past self not to worry about anything, but Twilight then remembered that the spell she was thinking of could only be performed once per pony.

It was at this point that Twilight had decided to search for another time-traveling spell so that she could see her friends again. She went to the library and started searching day and night for a long time. Hours turned to days, and days turned to weeks.

Twilight was about to give up when she suddenly saw a book entitled ‘The Magic of Multi-Dimensional Transportation.’

“Finally!” Twilight chanted, her mood suddenly brightened. “I’m willing to bet there’s a spell in here that gives me the ability to travel through time!”

Twilight levitated the book over to herself and opened it to the table of contents. As she read the table, she found what seemed to be what she was looking for.

“’4-Dimensional Travel and the Precautions You Should Take.’ Yes! I’ve found it! ‘Page 8,’” Twilight read aloud. She thought for a moment.

This is it, this is definitely it! My weeks of searching have finally paid off! Twilight felt accomplished, though nowhere near as much as she had when she got into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.

Twilight then flipped through the pages to page 8 to find exactly what the Table of Contents had said would be there.

Twilight read the page silently to herself.

Twilight heard a loud noise. Twilight glanced over to where the noise originated, only to find that nothing was there. Twilight then turned back to her book, saying the spell quietly to herself. Twilight became nervous. She felt as though something was wrong with her, but she couldn’t quite put her hoof on it.

Another noise broke the silence, this time slightly louder and closer. It sounded like somepony was trying to get the alicorn’s attention. Twilight glanced over once more, still seeing nothing there. Twilight turned back to her book.

Twilight’s vision suddenly went blurry. Her horn suddenly lit up. She had lost control of her magical powers. It was as if the alicorn’s horn was taking on a mind of its own, removing Twilight's power over it, removing all self-controlled magical abilities from her...

Twilight knew exactly what was happening. She was performing the spell. The old spell. However, it seemed Twilight had no control over it. It was as if the spell, as opposed to herself, was controlling her horn.

Twilight knew she couldn’t cast the spell. She’d already used it once, and she couldn’t again, but for some reason, she couldn’t stop it from happening.

Twilight now felt as though the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach was correct. There was something wrong with her.

Twilight struggled to take back control of her own mind for several minutes, until the alicorn finally came out victor.

Twilight was safe from her own horn.

For now.

Twilight had trouble sleeping the following night. She went to the doctor to see what was wrong with her, but the doctor said there was nothing wrong. In fact, the doctor even said to Twilight that she was in a better condition than almost everypony else who had ever come to see him.

This worried Twilight because there obviously was something wrong with her, and if the best of mental doctors couldn't detect it, surely nopony could.

Twilight suddenly awoke. Her horn was glowing once more.

“Oh no, not again!” Twilight sighed loudly. “Not this again!”

Twilight got up from her cozy bed and struggled once more to regain control of her horn. This time, however, it was much harder to do. In fact, this time, Twilight didn't even succeed.

Twilight saw a flash of bright light. She saw her world spinning around her as she was taken somewhere. It was as if it was her future self telling her current self something, as if she was trying to show herself something.

It was as if her horn was trying to show Twilight something.

It was like she was drawn to do this, but not by her own mind. It was as if she was drawn to do this by another. Drawn to continue with this, Twilight struggled to undo what she had already done, but she couldn't.

At this point, it was really looking like a part of a certain pink pony had been left behind when she’d died, because Twilight felt the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach again, and, for all she knew, Twilight just got a sense of things.

Just like Pinkie Pie.

Twilight’s heart was beating a mile a minute as she raced through the stream. She tried desperately to escape, to wake up, to go back, but she simply couldn’t. The damage had already been done.

Twilight was legitimately scared of what was to come. She had only wanted to see her friends again. To hear the voices she hadn’t heard in what seemed like the length of time she would live. To say the one thing she had never gotten a chance to say…

A tear fell from Twilight’s eye.

Twilight just wanted to escape this wormhole, this deathtrap, this stream…

Twilight just wanted to be her old self again. She just wanted to be normal. She had never wanted this. Yes, she was overjoyed when she was first turned into an alicorn, but she never thought about what would happen to her friends.

… this paradox, this simulation…

Twilight once more shed a tear, followed by another two or three.

Twilight just wanted to be mortal. She wanted to be with her friends. She didn’t want to be trapped in the normal world forever. She wanted to move on from this world, to leave it. She wanted to be done. But she couldn’t.

No matter what she did, she would forever be immortal. She couldn’t change that.

Twilight burst into tears. She was desperate to see her friends again. But she couldn’t. She was trapped.

… this… lie…

It was as if reality was playing a cruel joke on Twilight. Perhaps it would spring out and shout, “Haha, I got you!” but Twilight knew this wasn’t the case. She knew it wasn’t a lie. She knew it was reality, and she couldn’t change that.

There was a moment of silence, in- and externally. Twilight’s tantrum stage had ended as she moved into the short cool-down phase of her fit. After a few seconds, she spoke.

“I just want to see them again. I just want this to be over. But it won’t come to an end. It will never come to an end. I just wish it was over. I just want… I just want…” Twilight’s thought drifted off as she burst into tears once more.

Several minutes passed as Twilight drifted to the end of the tunnel to what seemed to be the world as it was 1000 years prior.

With her friends still alive.