The Old Ways

Rain poured down on me as I walked with my golden retriever through the empty streets. Should have equipped myself better... I thought grimly. I was wearing my old blue t shirt,a pair of torn sneakers, a blue cap,cargo shorts and my trustworthy fanny pack.

I glanced at the sky and deduced that the rain would probably go on for a few hours. It ain't worth a cold I patted my dog and turned around to return to my humble home, but my dog wasn't budging.

"Whats wrong boy?" I knelt down and noticed that he was looking at something, so I followed his gaze. Standing a few feet away from us, was an old lady with a long white hair and she was dressed in a black dress.

What is an old lady doing in these parts? And I don't recall there being a funeral anywhere near I stood up and I politely tilted my cap in greeting.

"Need something Ma'am?" I asked, earning a soft smile from the lady.

"I just wanted to ask if you are willing to fulfill an old womans final wish" She spoke with a gentle tone. Thats a very strange thing to ask from a complete stranger

"I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that, but I will do my best" She smiled again and shakily walked towards me.

"Could you take this?" She stopped in front of me and raised her hand. Now that ain't something you see everyday Confusion echoed in my mind as I stared at the object in her palm.

It was a fist sized eye ball.

I turned my gaze towards the lady, who was smiling the entire time. I really hope that this isn't some voodoo shit..

"Its something my family made a long time ago" She looked at the strange eye ball, caressing it with her other hand as If remembering something. " But since I will soon leave this world, I wish for you to have it"  It seems that she has lived a good life..

"I see no problem with that Ma'am" I smiled at her and gently took the eye ball from her palm. Strange...It feels like a real eye My train of thought was cut short when the old lady spoke again.

"Its called "The eye of the Smooze" " She nodded her head. " Take good care of it"

"I promise that I will" I put the eye in my pocket and prepared to take my leave, before the cold rain makes me sick.

"Enjoy your new world...Inheritor of the Smooze" I froze in place when the world around me started to blacken.

"What is the meaning of this?" I asked with a calm voice while I grabbed my dog and held him close. The woman just smiled and slowly backed away into the darkness.

"You will find out soon..." And with that she disappeared. Thats the last time I'm helping old ladies...

My dog glanced at me and whimpered as the darkness slowly surrounded us ."Don't worry I'm here" I whispered while I petted him. "Damn voodoo shit..." I narrowed my eyes at the surrounding darkness.

"But look at the bright side" I smiled at my dog." I'm probably the first black guy to ever visit another world" I joked. Then my thoughts wandered to a certain kid, who liked to spend time with me even thought I was just some old war veteran. I'm gonna miss my favorite black midget I solemnly thought.

It felt like hours had passed. The darkness still had us surrounded while I just stood there and waited for something to happen. Needle to say that I was getting sick of it.

"Darkness. Would you kindly fuck of?" I spoke to the darkness, my patience wearing thin."If you had a body I would whoop your black ass.....Now fuck of!" And then, like God himself was mocking me, The darkness turned into a very bright light.

"My eyes you goddamn jackass!" I clenched my eyes in pain and covered my dogs eyes with my cap.

After a minute or so, I slowly opened my eyes."Oh you must be kidding me.."  I muttered as I scanned my surroundings.

We were standing in some kind of  a dark forest, which looked like it belonged to a cartoon. " I'm going to beat that hags ass so hard, I could use it as a fist shaped mold to make gingerbreads."I lowered my companion to the ground and took his leash.

"It looks like we are on our own" I sighed and moved my hand to rub my temples, but stopped when I noticed something.

The eye was stuck in my palm. " Aw hell no"  I slowly touched it with my other hand, getting nothing. I tried to rip it of, but it wouldn't budge. I sighed again. I wasn't actually worried about it at all, after all I had seen the horrors of Vietnam. One thing that I learned in the military was to never panic, so I disregarded the weird eye as some strange voodoo stuff.

I stared walking forwards with my faithful companion, hoping of getting out of this weird forest as soon as possible. We made our way through the forest fauna. I could hear the cries of different animals echo in the forest, but I didn't really pay any attention to them, until I heard a very human like laughter.

"Stay close to me. Cant have anything bad happen to my companion" I petted my dog. We began to sprint towards the voice, passing through trees and forest critters. I could see the light peeking from the distance and with a final push we left the forest and entered a clearing. "It isn't easy being a sixty year old" I panted and directed my gaze towards the clearing.

It was a dirt field with many different shaped holes on it, but what caught my attention the most were the creatures standing at the middle. They looked like a bunch of bipedal dogs and they were wearing some kind of vests. They seemed to be talking with someone, so I narrowed eyes and spotted a white pony with a horn.

Cartoon unicorns and bipedal dogs... I internally sighed.

The dogs had chained the trashing equine and were in the process of laughing at its misfortune. I turned towards my dog. "Stay" I ordered and started to make my way towards them.

Its time to intervine

Look at me. I just got to this new world and already I'm ready to set things right. I chuckled as I slowly walked and cracked my knuckles.

Its time to do this the old way.