The Old Ways

"Are you sure about this Scootaloo?" My eyes shot open when I heard the voice of a young child, the only problem being that my vision was being blocked by something.

"Relax Sweetie Belle"  I could hear my dog snoring peacefully under the bench.

"When this monster wakes up, its gonna have a very nasty surprise!" Kids... "Applebloom! Did you bring the rope?"

"Ah sure did!" A southern accent responded."But shouldn't we hog tie it before it wakes up?"

"Wouldn't it be much cooler to capture it when its awake?" That logic will someday be your downfall kid"Besides. The onions on its eyes will blind it, so this will be easy!" Onions? I sniffed the air and sure enough the strong smell of onions filled the air."It will be too busy crying its eyes out" I remembered this prank. It was something that the boys in the military did to me a long time ago. Did it work back then? Absolutely not.

"If you say so Scoots.." Its time for a little lecture..

"You know"  The kids yelped in surprise when I spoke,but I ignored them and continued."Theres one thing you need to know about cooking" I said while lying peacefully on the bench, the onions still on my eyes.

" I love cooking.....I do it when I..........when I just wanna clear my mind...take a rest of things....you know?Get busy, running around like a chicken with your head cut of. I love slicing stuff.........I love stirring stuff in the pan.........I love making great sauce........sometimes when I'm stirring the sauce......Its like watching the world go around......and I'm making it go around.." I chuckled "Put it in the sauce pan. Let it simmer.....for a looong time........" I sighed, remembering the good times " And heres one last word on onions..." I slowly grabbed the onions and lifted myself up from the bench, my eyes closed."Onions don't make me cry.." I turned towards the kids and slowly opened my eyes. " They make me smile.." I crushed the onions and dropped them on the ground.

Standing there, or rather, shivering uncontrollably where three fillies. One had wings, a purple mane and a orange coat. The unicorn had a grayish mulberry mane and a white coat. The last one had a yellow coat and a red mane with a red bow.

"AAAAAAAH!" They screamed at the same time. I laughed and knelt down.

"So who are you three midgets?" I whistled,waking my dog up " Monster hunters?" I chuckled, they were still shivering.

"Its gonna hurt us!" The orange one cried out. The fourth time that these ponies think that I would hurt them...

"If I wanted to hurt you, I would have already kicked your asses....hard " Their eyes widened and I chuckled again. "But I have no intention of doing that,I'm not really into violence unless I absolutely have to." I patted the orange ones head " You don't happen to be the embodiments of darkness?" I quickly asked, they rapidly shook their heads "Good.." I stood up and gazed at the park.

The park was absolutely empty. Strange..Parks are usually full of activity in the morning With a raised brow I turned towards the fillies. "Where is everyone?"

"Everypony is at the town hall" The white one gathered enough courage to answer me."Princess Celestia is supposed to show up" Princess Celestia?

"I see.." I rubbed my beard."Then why are here?" She looked at the orange one and sighed.

"Scootaloo saw you and said that It would be more important to capture you.." Scootaloo bowed her head down in shame.

"Yeah..Sorry about that" She apologized.

"No harm done kid, so what are the rest of you called?" I pointed at the yellow and the white one.

"I'm Sweetie Belle and this is.." She turned motioned towards the quiet yellow filly "Applebloom" Applebloom stepped forward.

"So..Who and what are you mister?"  She asked with a slight tinge of fear.

"You fillies can call me "The Inheritor of the Smooze" For the time being" I pointed at the eye in my palm.

"Cool.." Scootaloos eyes sparkled with curiosity while the others yelped in surprise again.

"And I'm a human"  The fillies were about to say something, but stopped when my dog barked."Hes my companion. Don't worry he wont bite." I petted him.

"I assume that you don't have humans here,do you?" They shook their heads again and I sighed. Should have already known that..

"Could you fillies guide me to the town hall? I need to speak with this "Celestia"  "  The fillies finally smiled.

"Ah see no problem with that!You been really kind to us even thought we were going to capture you" Applebloom giggled as my dog licked her face.

"Yeah! And I think you are really cool with that eye thing!" Scootaloo fluttered her tiny winds.

"Its decided then! We will take you to meet Princess Celestia" Sweetie Belle bounced up and down.

"You have my thanks" I tipped my cap.

"Okay! Just follow us" The fillies started to make their way towards the town hall while I followed them.

The streets of the village where completely empty. They must be at the town hall already " So how to I get to talk with Celestia without causing chaos?" Applebloom had a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

"My appearance" I pointed at myself "I saw how you girls freaked out, just imagine the whole village doing the same"

"Oh yeah..." Applebloom turned to face the others."How are we going to do that?"

"I know!" Scootaloo fluttered her wings again."All we have to do is bring the Princess here!"

"Thats a great Idea Scoots!" Sweetie Belle complimented.

"Are you sure that the Princess is going to listen a bunch of fillies?" I asked, unsure about this course of action.

"I'm sure that she will! Come on girls, lets go!" I was about to wish them good luck, but stopped when a new voice interrupted the fillies.

"Theres no need for that" I turned towards the voice.

A horse with a white coat and a mane with all the colors of the rainbow gracefully landed in front of us. This must be Celestia.. She had both wings and a horn. She was also wearing a some kind of tiara and stood at my height.

"Princess Celestia!" The fillies shouted at the same time.

She smiled at the fillies and turned her gaze towards me. Her face took a stoic look as she stared at me,probably trying to intimidate me.

"Greeting Princess Celestia" I tipped my cap.

No response.

Alright... " Something wrong?" I questioned.

"Are you the Inheritor of the Smooze?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. Did the nurse tell her? If so she must know that I saved Rarity, but why do I get the feeling that shes not here to thank me?

"That would be me" Her horn flared up as a response.

"Then I have to stop you,before you cause any harm with the Smooze!" Aw hell no..

"Listen for a second ma'am" I motioned for my dog to go to the side."I would be happy if you got this thing out of my palm, but I really doubt that.." I pointed at the eye"This Smooze thing is going to let you do that, so I suggest that we talk this through like adults" She narrowed her eyes.

"I also hate senseless violence, but theres is no other choice!The elements aren't here at the moment so I have to destroy the host of the Smooze myself" I sighed

" You see...I always planned to die with my boots on, but being killed by a cartoon horse.." I rubbed my beard " Not really" Here we go again..

"You are kind of making me the bad guy here" Her face faltered for a moment."This is one hell of a first contact ma'am"  Her wings flared up.

"I'm truly sorry, but Its for the good of ponykind" I made sure that no one was around.

"Okay.." I tightened my fanny pack and readjusted my cap.

"Lets dance"