Mistakes Were Made / Lost Elements

As they entered the break room, a few immediate changes caught his eye. Every chair in the lower basement had been moved into the main room. That was to be expected. There were after all only three chairs in the main area. Aside from that though, there was one major difference. An old inversion table that had been kept in a side room used for fitness and the like had been moved to the main room as well. At this particular juncture, a remarkably fit blond woman was hanging upside down from it struggling to free herself.

The one that had lead him downstairs turned to him and said,

“My apologies dear, but she’s been like that for almost two hours now. That would be the main reason I risked getting you.”

With a laugh, the main instructed her how to free herself from the contraption. His mind launched back do a different time when he mad managed to get himself into the same predicament. After helping her down he sat on the hearth stone and turned to the group. Opening his mouth he began to speak again. The room fell almost reverently silent as he did so. That was certainly an unusual reaction to him speaking.

“Well… I’m not going to lie. I expected to walk in here today, read a few hours, collect the mail and then proceed to be on my merry way. I certainly did not expect you ladies to show up on my doorstep. That’s a new one even for me. All I can honestly say for certain is that you don’t seem to be missing, escaped or any other such nonsense. So…. Where are you from? And how in the blue blazes did you manage to wind up on my doorstep, buck naked and with your respective hair as it is without anyone noticing? That’s quite the feat. New York? I could see it. Here? Yea. Not so much.”

Silence followed his rushed speech and statement. The women looked awkwardly at each other with the exception of one. The one with the rainbow streaked hair glared daggers across at the more bookish looking character with the pink streak in her otherwise purple mane.

“Tell you what, all I ask is honesty. If you ladies are in trouble, I’ll be glad to help however I can as long as I don’t go breaking any laws in the process. In the meantime, while you decide what you want to say and how to say it, I’m a bit more tired than I should be. I’m gonna brew up a pot of coffee. Would any of you care for some? I think we’ve got some Tchai Tea kicking around if you’d rather have that as well.”

After a few more seconds of awkward silence, the Strawberry blond with the looks of a slightly disheveled supermodel spoke up first.

“Oh… Um Tea please if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

The pink haired one was next.

“No thanks, but d you have any soda or anything like that? I like sugary sweet stuff with extra sugar.”

Eyeing her askance he spoke slowly…

“We might have coke… It’ll be in the fridge over there. “He said pointing to the stainless steel monolith that graced one corner of the room.

“Anyone else?”

The bookish one was next to speak.

“Tea please.”

The blond who had been trapped on the table chose to speak up.

“Ah’ll have whatever you’re havin’. From all that poundin’ and cursin’ you were doin’ earlier outside you sound like a fella’ who knows how to get some work done. Ah’ve yet to meet such a 'feller who didn’ know what was best after a long day.”

“Heh. That’s fair. Coffee it is followed by a whiskey shooter later. Deal. How about you?”

He turned to the woman with the rainbow emblazoned hair. When she spoke, her voice sounded a bit hoarse as well as a bit nasally. It was not entirely unpleasant though. Her speech had a strange charm to it.

“Coffee? What the heck is that?”

“Oh… You poor soul. You’ve never even heard of coffee? That’s almost criminal.”

As he spoke he crossed the room to where a newer version of the stainless steel monster that graced his own kitchen rested and began to brew a pot.  While doing so he put the kettle to boil and game the women a few extra minutes by busying himself with cleaning out some of the coffee cups that had managed to remain in the sink with the departure of his boss the night before.

As he cleaned, he caught snippets of their hushed conversation. From the rises and lulls in conversation, and looks that were shot his direction he pieced together a fair amount. The quieter one seemed optimistically cautious about what he’d think or say. The one with Skittles for a hairstyle didn’t seem very enthusiastic about saying a word. The southerner seemed to want to lay everything out on the table. The fair skinned one he’d danced with seemed to want to attempt to make some sort of bargain. The excitable one with the coke in her hands seemed more interested in exploring and seeing what was in and around the area than the matter at hand. The bookish one, who seemed to be the unofficial leader, seemed to want to give him some sort of test to figure out how much he knew already.

Once the coffee and tea were ready, he doled out the drinks, offering cream and sugar as needed to those that wanted it.  After some polite small talk regarding how to properly drink a cup of coffee to the newcomers to the brew he finally asked.

“Alright ladies. What’s your story?”

The bookish one responded first.

“Well… That actually depends. I need to know what you know first.”

“What I know about what?”

“Us.”

“You’ve got utterly ridiculous hair for the most part and no apparent warrants out for your arrest or people searching for you. When I tried to punch your descriptions into a search engine, I got nothing but cartoon horses and unicorns. My attempt to figure out who you may be was, less than informative.”

He chuckled at the sheer ludicrousness of his last statement. It was true. As a last ditch effort, he had plugged in physical descriptions of the women into a search engine. He had some up with pictures from an 80’s cartoon reboot.The show was.. Tolerable. He had seen it once with his niece. He had not bothered to watch it again.

At the mention of Unicorns her face light up. She began to speak quickly, asking questions in rapid succession.

“What do you know about unicorns? Do you know what a Pegasus is? Do you know where they’re from? Do you know how to get there?”

“On the first two counts, they’re creatures of legend and myth. From? Well, I suppose Grecian mythology is one spot that they’re from. As far as getting there, that’s a bit outside my budget. Unless of course you’re speaking metaphorically. I remember a gal once dubbed me a Unicorn. She claimed that guys like me simply did not exist. I'll be glad to tell that and any other story you want to hear after I hear yours.”

He smiled at that memory. He had walked an inebriated girl home after hanging out at a bar with some friends. Her roommate refused to even consider for a moment that his motives were pure until he started issuing orders that would prevent her from suffering alcohol poisoning. It had been an eventful night that one.

As his smile grew wider, reminiscing about some of his more colorful adventures in recent history, the expression on her face went from one of near joy to borderline despair. Noticing this, he stopped with his reverie. Not fully understanding what there was to be upset about, he began fishing for information asking questions here and there, and making idle small talk out of the various things he hoped to learn, seeding in information where he could in his own responses.

After this going on for some time, he came to several conclusions. These women were either insane, or didn’t trust him at all. Either was a likely possibility. Under any other circumstances, he’d be suspicious of them. In fact, under these exact circumstances, he’d be suspicious of them. For some reason though, he wasn’t. Every time he attempted to focus on that idea, that he wasn’t feeling or thinking as he should, the thought would simply disappear.

As the conversation flowed, he eventually learned their names, or at least, what they wanted him to call them. The quiet one preferred the moniker, “Fluttershy”. The rainbow haired athlete simply chose, “Dash”. “Twilight” was the name of choice for the bookish one. “Pinky” was the title designated to the hyperactive one he now regretted giving the soda to. “Applejack” was the apparent southerner, and “Rarity” was the one he had danced with. He asked that they call him, “Mike.”

Mike gathered that Twilight had been performing some kind of experiment in the basement of her home with the help of the rest. Before they knew what had happened, they were here. According to Twilight, their bodies had changed somehow in the process. She seemed like she might be mentally unstable, if a bit harmless. At that point in the conversation she started going on about how she and Rarity were apparently unicorns, and the fact that apparently Dash and Fluttershy were pegasi. As this went on, the others remained silent attempting to gauge his reaction.

“So, let me get this straight.” He said over his third cup of coffee. “You’re telling me that you are in fact magical ponies of some sort from the far off land of Equestria and that a magic spell you were testing landed you here?”

“That’s right”

“That’s insane.”

“I can prove it.”

“This I’d love to see.”

At this, Twilight seemed to begin to meditate. As she did so, her fingertips began to glow. A cold sweat began to drip down her forehead as the spoon in his coffee began to stir itself. Startled, he dropped the cup with a less than manly yelp.

Straightening his vest and mopping the spilt coffee off of his jeans, he spoke again. This time, he did so with a little less conviction.

“While that was certainly impressive, that doesn’t prove that you’re a unicorn in another body. That does however prove that you are either remarkably gifted or that I have been impressively drugged. Since I am infinitely more comfortable with the gifted idea, I’ll go with that.”

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As time went on and the conversation progressed, one thing had been made clear. These women were clearly not from around here.  Each had displayed a variety of abilities that could be described as abnormal at worst, superhuman at best.  The one who called herself twilight displayed the ability to disappear and reappear at will in a different place. Rainbow could fly. Rarity displayed the capacity to use telekinesis.  Fluttershy could speak with animals. Applejack was deceptively strong. Far stronger than any normal person her size and build should or even could have been. Pinky had the uncanny knack for apparently predicting the random and unforeseeable future. Learning that they each had such abilities was an adventure in and of itself.

It had started during a late point in the conversation, shortly after his crack about possibly being drugged. The coffee in his hand had run out. He had risen to get another, when Rarity had intervened.

“No, please. Allow me darling. You’ve already done so much for us. The least I can do is top off your drink.”

As she spoke her eyes began to glow. The coffee pot, creamer, and sugar levitated from their various locations throughout the room and filled his mug. Each item was surrounded in a blue/white nimbus of light that matched the radiance from her eyes as it went about it’s apparent appointed task. Staring incredulously, his spoon began to rotate. It was also surrounded by the same glow as it begun to mix the hot beverage.  He, as well as Twilight looked on in awe.

“How did you… What the-?” He stammered.

“Did I mix it right? You seemed to go a bit heavy on the sugar…”

“Uh...”

He took a tentative sip. It was almost perfect.

“No, i-it’s good. It’s great. Thanks. You… How did you-?”

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Twilight suddenly exclaimed. “I could barely lift the spoon! You just did all of that at once!”

“You forget my dear, that I am used to lifting and moving a multitude of things at once.”

Twilight took a step forward from where she stood leaning against the refrigerator and disappeared. She reappeared inches away shaking an accusing finger at rarity. Eyes widening, Mike simply stared.

“That’s not my point! I’ve always been stronger with magic and I could barely do anything!”

The two got into a heated discussion regarding spell prowess and generalized magical aptitude. It sounded like something out of a demented harry potter novel. This went on for some time. Mike slowly stood, and made his way to a small cupboard near the sink. Thank god we keep this on hand, he thought to himself as he drew a large bottle of whiskey from the cupboard. He poured himself a shot, spiked his coffee, placed the bottle in it’s rightful place then interrupted the two.

“Look, lady, you just teleported across the room. I have no clue what the hell you’re banging on about, but maybe, just maybe whatever you think you can or should be able to do is a little different than what you’re used to. Or, maybe it’s exactly what you’re used to and not much else. She said she does that all the time. I’m willing to bet you’ve got a habit of not walking very far. Am I right?”

The two stood frozen.

“You… You might be right. How could you know that though?”

“In my experience, the idiot who knows nothing of what is going on, nor has any understanding of what’s at hand will always, at some point, make a lucky guess that will make everything else clear and easy. When you understand everything there is to know about something, you tend to forget to consider the simple stuff. It happens to me almost every day.”

After a moment of thought, Twilight spoke. “That makes a weird amount of sense.”

“It also certainly helps that I’ve officially got a healthy buzz going. I’m a little more open to the crazy and impossible,”

Mike said gesturing with his coffee.

“So, how about the rest of you? Any other impressive party tricks you can pull off?”

He began to laugh at the sheer ludicrousness of his own question. As he watched, Rainbow began to float. Applejack smiled and looked at mike.

"Ya'll got anythin' heavy kickin' around?"

"How heavy?"

"Heavy."

"There's a thousand pound weight in the shop."

"Not that heavy."

"It's on a cart. Even I can move it with some effort."

It was a true statement. What he failed to mention was the fact that it usually required an engine jack to really use the weight in question. He could move it. He was simply incapable of actually using it for anything other than a makeshift stool.

"Can ah see it?"

"Sure. Why not? Follow me ladies. It's about time I gave you the ten cent tour."

Mike turned and strode towards the stairs. He had no clue what he was going to do or how he was going to deal with his unexpected guests. All he knew for certain was that he didn't seem to be in any danger. If he could keep his guests placated, he should be able to keep it that way.