North Korea finds Equestria, and declares all generations except generation three to be evil.

by SecretPerson

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human, Romance
Length: 2675

Kim Jong "NoDong" Un has been relentlessy filling his life with food, generation 3 My little pony, and threatening to use his daddy's bombs on the world. Then, one day, he finds he can go to the land of ponies. America only faceplams a

Kim Jong "NoDong" Un has been relentlessy filling his life with food, generation 3 My little pony, and threatening to use his daddy's bombs on the world. Then, one day, he finds he can go to the land of ponies. America only faceplams as NK goes mad.

Sadly for chubs, it turns out the the "land of ponies" promised to him from China, is actually Equestria from the latest generation.

So, Kimy send all of his starving troops into Equestria in a vein attempt to take it over and make every pony re enact every generation 3.5 special out there.

Unluckily for Chubs, his inaccurate nuclear missiles are ineffective against the God of Chaos and giant cupcakes of love.

_________________________________________________

To be honest, I think this fanfiction will enlighten chubs if he ever reads it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-30 02:56:14 UTC

The great leader eats dinner.

Fluttershy was thinking many thoughts at once.

One, what are these creatures?

Two, what do they want with her?

Three, what was that smell?

Four, shy is the leader so chubby?

Along with that, she was currently tied to a rocket. Although, she didn't know what it was. Multiple of North Koreas most intelligent rocket scientist configured multiple machines from the 60's, and Kim Jong Un himself was overseeing the progress.

"Soon..." he said, "Soon, This rocket will fly into the air, and create a huge firework in the shape of this yellow pony!!!"

One of his advisors then spoke up, "How will this help us in our conquest of the world?"

Kim's eye twitched, as he yelled "FIVE YEARS DUNGEON!!!"

The advisor sighed, "Not again..."

Kim then heard crying coming from Fluttershy, and looked at her, "Yellow wing pony! SHUT UP!"

Fluttershy cried harder from the yelling, and Kim sighed, "Get me a ladder!"

All of North Koreas troops were sent out to find a ladder, and after a long extensive search, they discovered one in some old guys hut. They then propped it against the rocket, and Kim climbed up next to Fluttershy.

"Look," he started, "I see you don;t know what is going on, so, I will give you a kiss."

Kim Jong Un then kissed Fluttershy, and she abruptly puked all over him.

Wait, woa, wait... Did I just write a Kim Jong Unshy shipping?!?!

*Reads over again*

I need to stop reading those novels.

Kim Jong Un's clothes were all changed now, and the rocket was prepped to launch.

"Now, EVERYONE will love me!!!" yelled Kim, as he pressed the fire button.

The rocket flew up ward a fet yards, then stopped, and started tipping n midair, as it begun spinning around before hitting a tree, and then a wall. Fluttershy flew off of it from the force, as the rocket rocketed around Pongyong. Then, it flew up into the air, and launched Northwards.

"Uh Oh..." said one of Kim's advisors.

"What?" asked Kim.

"It's heading for china..." said the advisor.

Ki's eyes twitched repeatedly. If that missile got to China, it would mean instant destruction of his glorious nation. So, he did the only sensible thing.

"EVERYONE PANIC!!!!!" yelled Kim Jong Un, as he ran in circles.

Fluttershy was beginning to come to again, and opened here eyes to the multiple Koreans running in circles. She stared blankly, before KIm stopped, and stared at her.

"Grab that pony and get EVERYONE into the portal to ponies!!!!!"

"EEEP!" squeaked Fluttershy, as a bag was thrown over her head, and North Koreas entire military began fleeing into Kim Jong Un's playroom. Thermonucelar war room and into the portal.

"FLUTTERSHY!" yelled Pinkie Pie, as she looked under a rock, and in a bush.

Applejack came up behind, "Were the hay could she have wandered off to?"

Rainbow Dash can down from the air, "She isn't any were in town."

Twilight flew next to Rainbow Dash, "Or at Zecora's."

Rarity trotted up, "Or at anywhere in her house."

Applejack touched her hoof to her chin, "Did somepony, or something take her?"

Pinkie Pie gasped, "What if Space aliens got her?! They will have replaced her right ear with a toe by now!!!"

"Calm down Pinkie, "reassured Twilight, "I highly doubt any Space aliens took her."

Rarity sniffed at the ari, and said "Do you all smell something?"

Rainbow Dash sniffed, "Yea, I think I do."

Pinkie sniffed as well, "It smells kind of like, something that smell gross."

The smell got stronger, and Twilight covered her nose, "Oh lord, what could that be?!"

Applejack covered her nose, and looked around. The group wasn't too far from Fluttershy's cottage, but the smell was comming from the very edge of the forest.

Rainbow Dash took to the air, "I think it's right over this... hill...", her expression fell to a gaze of disbelief as she stopped over the hill.

"What is it?!" Asked Rarity, gagging.

Rainbow Dash muttered back, "S-Sp-pa-sp-spa... Space Aliens!!!! "

Twilight sighed, and flew up next to Rainbow Dash, "There is no such... thing....." Twilight stared in disbelief as well, "Well... that settles it. Sense is gone."

The others came up to the hill, and their jaws dropped. infront of them, was a whole field full of North Koreans, disoganizingly flowing out of a portal. Some even rode in old tanks, while most were just following the herd.

Twilight then turned around, "Alright, were being invaded. Time to get the Guard here."

All that Badarse shiet happens.

The birds were chirping, sun was shining, and a little squirrel was picking up a acorn from the ground. Everything was going perfect for the squirrels life. He just got the big promotion at the agency, his family was happy, the national debt was down, and his role model Secret Squirrel was coming to town. All in all, his life was pretty nice.

Then, the squirrel hear a rumbling noise, and the ground started to shake. He looked up, just in time to see a large tank driving through the bushes at him. In response, the squirrel covered his head anticipating the worst, when the tank burst into flames on it own.

So, the Squirrel shrugged, and went home to continue his amazing life.

Lucky squirrel, why can't I be him?

Aside from that, many north korean troops were marching into this huge field, of which no one knew was behind Fluttershy's cottage. Seriously, it is like the author just created this whole stinking field for the sake of the plot! Oh wait, I am the author.... I need to stop criticizing myself.

A mass of the troops then encircled themselves around Kim Jong Un and his highest advisors. Behind Kim was Fluttershy Duct taped to a wooden pool, with her mouth taped shut. How they acquired such a technology as duct tape is beyond even Celestia's wisdom.

All the troops then stood straight in their formation, with many run down tanks, missile to air launchers, and other equipment from the 50's, they looked "meh" to any pony seeing if they were capable of invading.

then a few minutes passed, and one soldier asked "Uhhh, what are we going to do?"

Kim Jong Un replied "Oh yes, my faithful army, I have a plan, right now, in my head. Yes, this plan, that I am thinking of, right now, involves, somethings, that I have in my head. Aaaaand..."

Suddenly, one of his advisors said in Kim's ear "Us..."

"US!" said Kim, "going, to..."

"Invade and plunder."

"INVADE AND PLUNDER, uh..."

"This land of meesly ponies"

"THIS LAND OF MEESLY PONIES!"

Some guy coughed, while another scratched his butt. Kim started sweating, as the advisor said "And you will get to eat 5% of what you steal."

"AND YOU WILL GET TO EAT 5% OF WHAT YOU STEAL!!!" repeated Kim loudly.

"OOOOORRRAAAA!!!" shouted the army confidently.

Little did they know, from a hill right nearbye, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, and Rainbow stared with goggles.

"How long do you suppose it will take to beat them?" asked Applejack.

"A half hour, hour tops to clean up. I don;t think we even need to get the elements." replied Twilight.

Suddenly, Rarity asked, "They have Fluttershy!"

"Really?" asked Twilight, as she looked to kim, and then Fluttershy, "Huh, I thought she would have a 67% chance of beating them herself, they must have stunk to bad."

Pinkie tossed gas masks infront of every pony, and said "Don't worry, my great aunt was very paranoid about some Soviet pig cake toenail thing using gas or something to kill stuff, so she hid all these everywhere in Equestria just incase!"

Rainbow put one on and finally began breathing, "Your a life saver Pinkie. I swear, it is like these thing just wallow in their own feces or something!"

"Wow Raibow, nice use of words!" complimented Twilight.

"Hold on Y'all" said Applejack, "They're a moving!"

Applejack was correct, the whole army was charging toward Ponyville. Well, they were moving about .8 MPH, and only a third of their tanks were operational enough to start climbing this hill.

multiple soldiors bared the flag of "True" Korea as they charged up the hill. They were yelled, some shooting their makeshift rounds into the air, jamming their guns an becoming useless, while a few stopped to eat some of this dirt before going. To them, Equestrian dirt was amazing. Although I hear there is candy built into it molecularly or something, a way of making the grass more edible.

Twilight stood up, and siad to the others, "Ready girls?"

"Ready!" responded the rest.

"Three, two, one!" counted Twilight, as on cue they all ran as fast as they could away.

"HEY!!!" yelled Twilight as she trailed after them, with the entire North Korean military following behind her.

"For Bruce LEEEEEEEE!!!" shouted some hippie Korean/american/bird? guy as he charged with the troops.

We must dump all our resources in the ocean to prove we can run without any food!!!

It was the Afternoon in Pongyong, the sun was shining, birds were choking on access bullcrap leaking out of Kim Jong Uns mansion, and one lucky kid was happy. Sadly, that lucky kid was thrown in a concentration camp for smiling.

In the great leaders house, Kim was on step 8 of his daily routine: Wake up, threaten the U.S. and South Korea, eat a big brunch, tell bullcrap to his starving population, threaten the U.S. and South Korea, beg China for some more Uranium and Mac n Cheese, threaten the U.S. and South Korea because he stepped on a lego and it is their fault, and now threaten the U.S. and South Korea WHILE eating pudding (A new thing the great leader figured out yesterday, was he could multi-task.)

The only fat guy in North Korea had plenty of servants, and 30% of the nations food supply going to his mansion. China had been supplying a lot to them, but they had recently told him "No son, you can have that new action figure."

This is what started the increased threat and end to the armistice with South Korea, but today was better.

Kim currently sat in his playroom/military thermonuclear war planning center, talking to his buddy Dennis Rodman on the phone while eating Ice Cream. It was then, some chinese secret service agent walked in.

"Hold on honey, I have a chinese guy in here." said Kim to Rodman on the phone, while turning to the Chinese fella, "WHAT DO YOU WANT! I AM TALKING TO MY BFF!!! WHY DO YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY RIGHTS?!?! I HATE YOU!!!!"

The Chinese Secret Service Agent bowed, and said "My government wants to give you something new, and we feel it will help in your conquest of the game World of Warcraft."

Kim's eyes widened, and he put on glasses, and took them off, while saying "mother of Ala... wait, who am I supposed to worship?"

The agent replied "Ala and God are actually the same thing, really."

Kim shrugged, and asked "So what is this new thing? Is it another toy just like the others you gave me before? Show me Show Me SHOW ME!"

The agent replied, "Um... we don't refer to rockets capable of hitting the District of Columbia 'toys', but yes, this is more of a toy."

Suddenly, four starving children walked in carrying a large wooden crate. They collapsed form exhaustion, leaving the crate on the floor next to the agent. The Chinese agent then tossed a rotten banana out the door, and the children ran for it.

"Don't mind the slaves, we are trying to lower the population, one infidel at a time."

Suddenly, god blasted lightning into the window and vaporized the Chinese agent. Not because of his horrible abuses, but because he was a plot hole for saying 'infidel', which is what radical muslims say. So in hindsight this whole paragraph is a lazy attempt to fix a plot whole I could easily delete.

Kim looked at the vaporized remains, shrugged, and went to open the crate like a present. But in a extremely tragic chain of events, he got a splinter in his hand, and had the countries only doctor in to help his tragic condition has everyone else was dying of disease.

Once the splinter was removed, and tried for crimes of war, Kim had his most elite group of soldiors open the crate for him. He shoved them out of the way as he reached in and pulled out a microwave oven sized microwave oven.

"IT"S WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!" chimed the happy and always fat dictator.

I should aslo mention Dennis Rodman hung up right about now, since kim left the nations only phone sitting idle for too long. Because, y'know, this is important stuff relevant to the story at hand.

Kim looked at the microwave, it had some writing on the side, so he had one of the elite soldiors read it to him.

"Portal, to, My, Little, perve-wait, pony, land, magic..." read the elite soldior to the best of his abilities.

Kim's eyes widened, My Little Pony was his favorite show. Though it wasn't the newest version, his favorite was actually generation 3, but there was a special place in his heart for generation 3.5 as well.

"Turn it on!!!" yelled the chubby chub chub.

The elite soldior grabbed the microwave and rand the power outlet in the room. They pulled out the wire that was running the only radar system, because that isn't important compared to the popcorn machine on the top outlet. upon plugging it in, the microwave did nothing.

Kim started at it, and kicked it, then it spontaneously created a large portal infront of itself. Kim could see a cartoon land through it, but, something was amis, it wasn't generation 3.

Kim turned around, and walked up to the phone. He then dialed the United States, and yelled "MY MAGICAL PONY PORTAL IS WRONG!!! IT IS YOUR FAULT, AND ALL OF YOU WILL PAY FOR IT! PAY I SAY!!!!!"

Fluttershy was sitting outside enjoying nature, because, she's into that kind of thing. No, it isn't like she does pot, I don't think Equestria even has pot. but aside from that she was feeling in her zone.

Suddenly, with a flash, a portal appeared next to her. She yelped, and hid behind a tree.

After a few moments, she poked her head around and looked at the portal. A horrid smell was beginning to leak through. It smelled kind of like when you change a baby's diaper, but forget to throw it away, and smille milk on it, while leaving it in the litter box, then after a few weeks your walking around and you all like "Dude, why is my nose bleeding?"

She then noticed multiple strange creature walk in. The were standing on hind legs, wearing uni-screw this, you all already know they are the bloody North Koreans. I am not going to waste my time trying to describe a bloody human to you monkeys.

Anyhow, sha watched as a really fat, and foal smelling one walked through. He appeared to be staring at everything with the intent of making it evil, but she doubted he was that bad.

He then looked right at her, and before she knew it, two soldiors were dragon her infront of him.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed, before being flopped infront of Kin Jong No-Dong Un, "Please don't hurt me!"

Kim stared at her, and said "Yellow pony! How much rule 37 is there of you?!"

Kim's most important advisor corrected him "Rule 34."

Fluttershy replied, "I don't know what you-"

Kim replied "This will never do! I shall bring you back to my room and have my best artist draw the best porn ever!"

Fluttershy balled up in fear, and cringed at the smell worsening as they dragged her into the portal.