(The following is a work of fan fiction based on My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic. I am not affiliated with Hasbro and company. This work is intended to be a work of parody that complies with fair use guidelines.)
The Blueblood Conspiracy
By Geldon (geldonyetich.deviantart.com)
The sun's rays from another beautiful morning in Equestria pierced the azure stained glass windows, brightly illuminating the Castle Canterlot throne room. Sitting on the golden throne was the ruler of the realm, a magnificent equine with a horn and wings, pristine coat and chromatic mane, Princess Celestia herself. Sitting next to her, upon that same raised fountain dais, was a smaller alicorn, younger-looking, who wore a beautiful moonlit night upon her coat and mane, Princess Luna.
Today, for various reasons, the two regal sisters had decided to dismiss the court and enjoy a private meal in the throne room. Mint tea (a Moroccolt blend) and a selection of foods fresh from the royal bakery were arranged before them on a low serving table. Though the morning repast was as much the day bringer's breakfast as it was the night bringer's dinner, the two immortal sisters enjoyed it in the same way: their eyes closed as they savored both the taste of the meal and the serenity that radiated from each others' timeless presence.
Rudely interrupting this tranquil scene, Castle Canterlot's foundations bucked from a loud explosion coming from somewhere inside the castle. It was violent enough that it dislodged small clouds from the walls and ceilings. Eyes still closed, Celestia's horn glowed, her telekinesis moving her elaborately-inscribed porcelain teacup out of the way of some the falling particles of debris before it could sully the taste.
The double doors on one side of the throne room flew open! Galloping through those doors were two desperate royal guardsponies, burly white stallions with dark manes, whose normally resplendent golden armor was dented, scratched, and darkened by patches of soot. They stopped with an awkward skid, each of them grabbing a large candelabra stand from either side of the doors, which they then used to brace the doors shut with every ounce of their strength. "Princesses!" shouted one of the guards, "We are under siege!"
Celestia responded by lifting her cup of tea and taking a reflective sip, whereas Luna was currently enjoying nibbling on an oat and walnut scone. Something crashed against the other side of the door, sounding not unlike shattering pottery, followed by the muffled cries of frightened ponies. "Princesses, please!" begged the other guard, "I know we won't live forever, but we still value our lives!"
Another explosion was heard and the throne room once again gave a little jump, spilling Princess Luna's teacup. Now bereft of her tea, she broke her reserved expression, opening her eyes and looking at her sister expectantly. Celestia sighed and put down her own cup. "Very well. Guardsponies, lead the way."
After reluctantly reopening the double doors, the guards escorted the two princesses through. The hall leading through the royal quarters wing had been forcibly redecorated with the trappings of war. Dark scorch marks marred the stone surfaces. The floor was littered with wood and ceramic debris. Centuries-old paintings hung at odd angles on the wall beneath disheveled tapestries. Here and there along the hallway were the groaning forms of various royal staffers, the battle having such ferocity that neither dainty housemaid nor brawny royal guardspony had been spared.
"Hans," asked Celestia calmly, "why have these ponies not been moved to the infirmary?"
"They are being aided as quickly as possible, princess," answered the guard with the black mane, "But the royal doctors are simply overloaded!"
"I see."
As they continued at a brisk pace down the hallway, the two alicorns' horns were aglow, silently tending to the minor cuts and bruises on the fallen ponies. The physical injuries were insubstantial but, for peaceful creatures like these, the psychological damage was crippling. A bright green earth pony with a dandelion cutie mark galloped past them, crying, "The horror, the HORROR!" The fate that had befallen Castle Canterlot was several times worse than any bunny stampede.
Just ahead, through the grand archway at the end of the hallway, the air rippled from the shock wave of a fresh explosion. The other guardspony, who would be a twin were it not for his lighter brown mane, betrayed barely contained panic in his voice, "Should we order an evacuation, princess?"
Unperturbed (in fact, usually quite imperturbable) the tall immortal simply responded, "No, Fritz, anypony who remains surely must wish to do their duty." The guardspony swallowed and nodded.
Having reached the end of the hallway, Celestia, Luna, and the two terrified guards stepped through the archway and onto the front lines.
The grand royal dining hall was considered by many ponies to be the central meeting place of Castle Canterlot. The walls were adorned with great flowing tapestries and stained glass windows depicting celestial bodies. The centerpiece of the spacious room ran through its length, a grand dining table wrought of intricately embellished white marble, long enough to accommodate over a hundred guests.
At one end of the table stood a barrel-chested unicorn stallion of white coat and luxurious blonde curly mane. That notoriously debonaire visage could only belong to Prince Blueblood. Though publicly disgraced, here he stood defiantly on the field of battle, ignoring the shattered crockery and furniture about him as he cast a practiced look of regal disapproval to the opposite end the table.
There stood his opponent, a unicorn mare of blue coat and slick silver mane. She was standing upon her hind legs, forehooves dramatically miming prestidigitation as only The Great And Powerful Trixie could. Of course, the real magic came from her glowing horn, which was currently levitating countless articles of expensive bric-a-brac above the dining table in a tremendous whirlwind.
Trixie was furious, "The Great And Powerful Trixie cannot believe you! You can't even be punctual!" Literally lending weight to her words, out of the tempest flew an antique clock, directly at Prince Blueblood!
Blueblood's carefully-concealed frustration found escape through his horn's magic, and the clock exploded loudly. The vibrations resounded through the castle as the smoldering debris of the former clock rained around him. His lip curled in imperious indignation as he retorted, "And we suppose you believe this makes your uncouth behavior excusable? As an expert in royal etiquette, our royal person informs you it most certainly does not!"
Trixie shot a wooden breadbox at Blueblood (which he exploded into a splintery mess) and sniped, "Unlike your royal person," she said the title venomously, "at least the Great And Powerful Trixie knows how to take care of herself!"
The prince scoffed as only highly-practiced nobility could. "Is that so?" he asked dryly, "Then why ever did you ask for personal attendants?"
The prince smoothly gestured with his horn to a corner of the hall behind Trixie. There stood two more ponies, spectators of the horrors of war. They both wore the telltale black silk crown and dress of the castle maid corps. One was a unicorn with a dignified vanilla coat, her amber mane styled upwards into a formal bun, slightly Trixie's senior and projecting a neutral expression that seemed oddly unaffected with the conflict before her. Cowering behind her was a little red pegasus filly with a hastily-brushed orange mane, clearly less fierce than her fiery coloration would suggest.
"You could not possibly have forgotten that Primrose and Zinnia were your idea!" seethed Trixie, "You said that the court magician requires attendants!"
Blueblood sniffed haughtily. "Well, I certainly find mine useful." Unnoticed, Hans and Fritz did not know if they should be flattered they were being appreciated or offended the prince was referring to them as so much tools.
The next projectile, a heavy down cushion, exploded in a shower of feathers. "If they're so useful," demanded Trixie, "then where were you today?!"
The prince nonchalantly avoided looking her in the eye, "I do believe our royal personage has already informed you that we were indisposed." He dropped the royal plural and quickly turned it into an accusation, "In any case, you should have waited! After all," he said pointedly, "you are under my employ, royal magician."
Trixie fumed in response, dropping to all fours and stomping her hooves. The mare magician's broken attention weakened her control over some of the projectiles being spun above.
Having entered the hall near the middle of the table, the princesses' entourage was suddenly at risk! Hans dived to the side, avoiding getting hit with a metronome. Luna's telekinesis expertly caught a small decorative chest, placing it neatly against the wall beside her. Flying at Celestia was something the alicorn recognized as an ancient gift: a strange pony figurine looking not unlike some ghastly totem of a foal in a diaper. She elegantly sidestepped, allowing it to smash into the wall behind her, and secretly thanked Trixie's anger for doing something centuries of diplomatic courtesy would not permit her to do herself.
Blueblood noticed his aunts standing off to the side of the table and looked like he was about to say something to them. He should have kept his eyes on his opponent: a thick glass goblet struck him in the cheek with a wet thud! The glass did not shatter, but it was a solid strike that nearly knocked the prince off his hooves. As the makeshift projectile rolled on the floor before him, the stallion looked at Trixie with a pained expression, rubbing his reddening jaw.
The magical tornado was already falling apart, raining its contents harmlessly about the room. Trixie had released her influence on it the moment she realized the prince was struck. She now sat, turned away from him, her face obscured as she radiated self-important detachment through her back.
The fight had come to an abrupt end. The two alicorn princesses passed a look of regret between themselves before splitting up to tend to the two, now thoroughly self-defeated, combatants.
Two hours later, Celestia and Luna entered the royal private study. While suitable for light business, it was also a cozy little room often used to entertain close friends when they came to visit. Luna immediately walked over to a small desk and went to work with quill, abacus, and scrolls, most likely tabulating the full cost of the damage to the castle. Celestia lay upon her favorite set of cushions next to the fireplace, relaxing and listening to her sister work.
They were thinking about Trixie and Blueblood who, following today's disaster, had been confined to their rooms with their attendants until further notice. Luna had escorted Trixie and her maids and now recalled that the mare magician, who was normally vocal both on and off the stage, did not say a word. Celestia had seen to Blueblood and his guards, providing the vain prince with a much needed magical ice compress to keep the swelling down, but noticed her nephew was unusually pensive, somehow concerned about something other than his face.
The telltale clacking of beads and scribbling upon parchment stopped.
Luna spoke. "This isn't working, Tia."
Celestia smirked at her sister and spoke in her usual lyrical fashion, "Oh, I don't know about that. The staff has already recovered and cleaned up most of the damage. True, furnishings will be a bit sparse for awhile, but artisans throughout Equestria will be overjoyed at the opportunity to replace them. And look how much fun we're having!"
Luna had to suppress a giggle at the last comment: true enough, it took something quite exceptional to make life about the castle more interesting for an immortal alicorn. Even so... the bringer of night darkened and said, "That's not what I meant and you know it."
The bringer of day broke, sounding somewhat uncharacteristically dejected, "I know, I know! The plan is failing!" She calmed, and was silent for a moment. "Luna, this sort of thing is really more in your realm, so what do you think is happening?"
The younger princess smiled, happy to be recognized as superior to her sister in at least one field. "Oh, Tia," she said playfully, "You were so clever, thinking so many moves ahead, and yet you don't even know what's happening now?"
Celestia rewarded her sister's high spirits with an exaggerated perplexed expression.
"Silly! Why else would this keep happening? The plan succeeded brilliantly! The trouble is what happens next!"
Celestia's astonishment was now genuine; when an immortal learned an important lesson, it was usually a shocking realization of one overlooked. "Oh, dear, I should have known!" exclaimed the almost imperturbable elder princess, "This is terrible, Luna, I've doomed us all to perpetual misery! What must we do?"
Luna shook her head, "It's not that easy. We can't do anything, at least not directly. In matters like this, it's best to wait and see. Unfortunately, the way things are going, I don't think harmony will ever come about."
Deep in thought again, Celestia mused, "There must be a way." Then, after a moment, she broke into a mischievous grin, "Harmony coming about, you say?"
The moon's confidence quickly waned, "Tia, you're not thinking-"
But the sun was set, "Luna, take a note, please."
The Ponyville library was dark, only the fleeting evening night illuminating the bookshelves on the ground floor. However, one light was still lit, coming from the door leading to the second floor study. Within, three occupants attempted to make sense of the tragedy.
"How could he?!" cried the white unicorn mare with the luxurious purple curls, arching her forelegs in a dramatic entreating of the heavens, "I simply cannot believe a dashing prince like him could be so foalish!"
"I know, Rarity!" gushed her purple bookish friend whose dark mane had a two-color magenta stripe through it, "And what about the poor entertainer?! Why can't she just tell him the truth?!"
"Twilight, darling, that's not even not the worst part! He doesn't even know that he's been pledged to a loveless diplomatic marriage with a griffin!" Rarity fell backwards in her well-practiced mock faint.
"It's true," enthused Twilight Sparkle, tears sparkling in her eyes, "and she's been secretly trying to raise her social status by flirting with a dragon for his wealth! A dragon!"
Rarity kicked all four legs in the air as she wailed, "And the dragon isn't even a real! It's all an illusion from her wicked stepmare!"
"Really?!" gasped Twilight, "That's terrible! I was feeling sorry for the dragon, but now I don't know what to think anymore!"
"I think I'm going to be sick." deadpanned a purple baby dragon with green spines as he glowered at the two with his arms crossed.
The two unicorns snapped out of their reveries in order to fix him a collective stern look. "Spike," said Twilight Sparkle, "do you want to be in this book club or not?"
Though Spike had come to expect Rarity's usual theatrics - in fact, it was part of why he had a crush on her - his young mind did not understand how a simple romance novel could make his normally logical partner-in-service-to-Celestia act so silly. However, neither did he want Twilight to banish him from Rarity's presence, so he dropped the act and sheepishly suggested, "How 'bout I go make us some snacks?"
"You do that."
When Spike had left the room, Twilight turned to Rarity. "Sorry about that. Spike may be my number one assistant, but you know how he can be."
Rarity sat up on the cushions she had fallen on and smiled at her friend, "Darling, I completely forgive him! After all, if it were not for that little gentleman's efforts, I would be ruined!"
Twilight thought back to the event that had occurred about a month ago now, "I guess you're right. Speaking of which, how are you feeling?"
The fashionista diva crossed her forelegs with a sour expression and said primly, "I'm fine!"
The bookworm was stern as she pried, "Rarity."
Rarity loosened her grip on herself but avoided Twilight's gaze. "Okay, maybe not fine."
Under Twilight's continued stare, Rarity broke down entirely, throwing her forelegs out before her dramatically as she flopped back down on the pillows and bawled, "Oh, Twilight, I've washed my hooves of that most unprincipled of princes, but now I'll never be a princeessss!"
Twilight Sparkle watched her friend's exaggerated theatrics with a hidden eye-roll, but was smiling. It was really better for Rarity to let these feelings out than drag around her boutique wearing a dark cloak and talking of self-imposed exile. After a couple minutes, the crying had died down to sniffling, and Twilight comforted her friend, "Stop worrying about it, Rarity! Take it from me, 'Celestia's Personal Protege,' a stuffy old title is no match for having good friends."
Rarity sat up again and sniffled, "You're quite right, darling. Quite right, indeed!" She begin to smile weakly, her expression genuinely grateful, if a bit puffy.
Spike walked in, carrying a tray stacked as tall as he dared with wheatgrass sandwiches, "I hope you girls are hungr-" he recognized the aftermath of the recent waterworks and carefully put down the tray, looking peeved. "Oh, great, you didn't bring that up again, did you, Twi?"
The unicorn scholar looked ready to start lecturing about her favorite subject, "A good friend-"
"-would stop upsetting Rarity and let her move on with her life!" This was one of those occasions where Spike could turn a lecture back on Twilight, "Look, it's like this: we sent that jerk Blueblood packing from Ponyville, he's an international laughingstock, and we'll never need to worry about him ever again! End of story, yada, yada, yada, happily ever after!"
Twilight Sparkle was graceful enough to let her assistant have an occasional victory, if only to bolster the little guy's confidence. Besides, "I guess you have a point, Spike."
Rarity cheered for him playfully, "Here, here! Spoken like a true little gentleman!"
Her praise caused the baby dragon to blush, and he kicked at the ground bashfully. "Aw, shucks, Rarity it was noth-"
It was something Twilight Sparkle had witnessed so often that her heart jumped in anticipation: Spike was forced to suddenly inhale as though he had a sudden attack of indigestion and then he belched smoke that coalesced into a rolled magical scroll bearing the royal seal. Princess Celestia had sent her a letter! The little dragon caught it handily, but looked a tad crestfallen, "Aw, just when things were getting good."
The fashionista had stars in her eyes, "A letter from the palace itself! Do go on, dear!"
Twilight Sparkle's enthusiasm mirrored Rarity's. "What's it say?"
Spike sighed but complied, already reading the usual introduction from memory before he even unrolled the scroll, "To my faithful student, Twilight Spar-" then his eyes fell on the parchment and he stopped. The usual introduction was not there, after all.
Twilight usually loved it when she received letters from her beloved teacher, but now she was concerned, "Is something wrong, Spike?"
The little dragon was skimming the document rapidly, his eyes getting wider as he read. When he lowered it, his eyes were still wide in shock.
"Why, whatever is the matter, dear?" Rarity's friendly inquiry pulled Spike from his stupor and he looked at her in panic.
Thinking fast, Spike blurted, "You can't hear this, Rarity! It's top secret!"
The two unicorns looked at each other in surprise: that never happened before! Rarity then stuck out her lip and brooded, "Oh, I suppose I am just a mere common mare, after all! I shall retreat to my lowly boutique, then!" She stood and began to gather her things.
Twilight Sparkle jumped to her hooves and stopped her friend, "No, Rarity! You can stay! You're more special than that!"
"I am?" There was genuine hope in her eyes.
Spike was desperate, not thinking straight. "No, she isn't special at all! She has to leave, now!"
Rarity gasped, taken aback. Twilight Sparkle confronted him, "Listen, Spike, I'm in charge and I say she can stay!"
"Please, Twi, this is important!"
"I don't care! She stays!"
"You don't understand!"
"Enough of this, both of you!" cried Rarity. She gave Spike a look of utter condemnation. "A lady knows better than to linger when she isn't wanted! I'm leaving, and nopony dare try to stop me!" With that, she hastily packed her saddlebag and stormed out of the room.
Spike watched her go, gaping, gesturing with upturned claws in attempt to explain himself, but no words came. When the front door of the library slammed, he fell onto his back, moaning, "Oh, milady, milady, what have I done?!"
Twilight looked at her fallen assistant with a mixture of disappointment and pity playing out on her face. "Honestly, Spike." Then her horn glowed as she picked up the curled scroll that had rolled out of his claws and reopened it, beginning to read.
The message was written the bold calligraphy of a royal proclamation.
I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that I am suspending the earlier mission assigned to the unicorn Twilight Sparkle until further notice. Effective immediately, she is no longer assigned to Ponyville to study the magic of friendship. She is to return and take up residence at her new quarters in Castle Canterlot.
"SUSPENDED?!" Twilight Sparkle was frantic, dropping the letter and dancing away from it like it was a snake. "Omigosh! I can't believe she would do this to me - I love Ponyville! Did I do something wrong?! What about my friendship studies?!" Her eyes opened even wider, "What about my friends?!"
"Keep reading." moaned Spike, who had buried his face on the floor.
Furthermore, I am issuing a royal summons to her frequent companions: Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. They will be similarly quartered at the castle and are ordered to assist Twilight Sparkle in her new mission. In exchange for their cooperation, they may request whatever resources or labor they deem fit in order to allow their endeavors in Ponyville to continue in their absence.
Further details of the mission will be revealed upon arrival.
Twilight looked relieved, "Oh good. I guess that my friends are coming with me." Then the panic was back, "Oh no! My friends are being practically forced to come with me! How am I going to explain that to them?! I don't even know why we're going! Ugh!"
Spike had rolled over onto his back, covering his eyes with one claw and gesturing for her to continue with the other, "There's more."
"More?!" It was then that the unicorn noticed there was something written near the bottom of the proclamation in small, informal letters.
Spike, Twilight, this is Luna.
Celestia asked me to write that down, but she did not tell me I could not add to it! I'm really sorry about this, she can be so thoughtless when she's up to something! But trust me when I say that, for reasons I can't get into, this is very important to her, and it's sort of my fault.
There is something I think you should know: Blueblood and Trixie are here. Yes, the very Blueblood and Trixie you're not on friendly terms with. It's hard to explain, but they're the reason you're coming: they really need the help of you and your friends!
To be honest, I don't think this is going to work. But, if it's even going to have a chance, everypony needs to be present! So, whatever you do, don't tell Rarity!
Though Luna may have intended to soothe Twilight's worries, it had the opposite effect. The unicorn's mind was now racing. Now, the full weight of Spike's little personal tragedy became her fault, but it was hardly noticeable next to the other burdens she bore.
The next morning, a pink earth pony with the cotton candy mane sat about a table in the library foyer with her five best friends. Pinkie Pie did not ask any questions when her favorite bookworm asked to throw this party together, she just did what she did best, but found the reaction to be quite unexpected; the eerie silence perplexed and delighted her. "Ooo! This was such a super duper idea, Twilight! I've never seen everypony acting like this before! What's next? Oh!" She began to prance in place. "Let me guess! Ghost stories! I hope it's ghost stories!"
Pinkie Pie had thrown countless parties like this before, with cake, streamers, balloons, and many of the other usual trappings, but this was among the strangest for many reasons. First off, Twilight said the short notice was because it was a surprise party but, if that were true, why did all the attendees receive officious-looking graven invitations? There was nopony left to surprise. Second, why did these invitations state that attendance was mandatory? It was something they humored mostly out of their friendship. Third, why did the banners hung in the library say "I'm very sorry" when nopony knew what was being apologized for? Twilight's friends knew that her social inexperience could lead to colossal faux pas sometimes but, when you put everything together, this occasion was just creepy!
This creepiness was reinforced by her behavior. Twilight Sparkle had been sitting at the table wearing a forced toothy smile for ten minutes now, eyes darting nervously between her friends. The party had seemed like a good idea at the time. It would pad the blow of the bad news she had to deliver. Yet, now that it was actually happening, it backfired, making things ten times worse! The news would seem like the barb at the end of a sick joke! Having thus far failed to think of a way out of his, Twilight had not said a word and, except for the indomitable Pinkie Pie, it was starting to make her friends skittish. To them, it seemed as though Twilight's brain had seized up shortly after welcoming them.
Cautiously, Rarity made an assumption what the party was about. "Twilight, darling, I know what Spike said last night was truly deplorable, but don't you think you're overreacting just a teensy little bit? After all, we are the bestest of friends," in hopes it would improve the mood, she was doing the cutesy little nuzzling routine she sometimes did when trying to coax a favor, "so you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!"
In response, Twilight's grin became even more painfully forced. Rarity harrumphed and rested her head on her foreleg, saying flatly, "That's it, I'm out of ideas, anypony else?"
The gentle yellow pegasus with the long pink mane tried next. "Um... Twilight? We've been patient, but now we really need to know what's going on, I mean, if that's okay with you..." Her voice tapered off as it went.
Then came a frightened little squeak. Fluttershy blinked in confusion: the squeak had come not from her, but rather their catatonic host!
"Consarn it!" The tawny earth pony with blond ponytail mane nearly lost her signature brown farmer's hat as she sprang from her place at the table and confronted Twilight directly, staring her in the eye, "Reckon we've had just about enough of this, sugar cube! Now, are y'all a-gonna come clean or am I a-gonna have to take the bull by the horns?"
Applejack's direct approach produced results. Twilight's stupefied expression broke and she fell forward on the table, hiding her face with her forehooves, crying, "I- I just- ooh!" From between her hooves came a wet sound, and a pool of tears began to form on the table.
The cyan pegasus with the wild rainbow mane flew up to the farm girl and confronted her, "Whatcha do that for?!"
Applejack did not back down from Rainbow Dash, instead meeting her snout to snout with grit teeth, "And y'all wanted to sit here a-lookin' at that creepy smile all day?"
The aerial athlete thought a moment, "Well, no." She backed off and muttered sidelong, "But clearly Twilight has one hoof in Crazytown today."
Fluttershy was already at Twilight's side, gently coaxing her to reveal her face, "There, there, you poor thing. Why don't you tell us all about it?"
Slowly, the introverted unicorn peered out from behind her hooves. As she looked up into the reassuring smiles of her friends, she thought that maybe things were going to be alright. Looking down on her were the countenances of the mirthful Pinkie Pie, compassionate Fluttershy, earnest Applejack, faithful Rainbow Dash, self-sacrificing Rari-.
That last thought caused Twilight to cover her face again in an instant.
Of all the ponies here, it was Rarity that shamed her the most. Luna had not exactly issued a command, but Celestia's faithful student treated any word from the royal pony sisters as one. The younger princesses' reasoning was sound: if Rarity was needed in Canterlot, she could not know that the reason why she was going was for Blueblood's sake, or all the stallions in Equestria could not drag her there. While she was a generous soul in many respects, that prince that had wounded her deeply, not once, but twice! The first time was just a severe disappointment punctuated by an insult in the form of a cakey projectile. The second time was much worse: a deliberate deception, a scheme that sought to destroy Rarity's life, and it took the combined efforts of all her friends to save her from that terrible fate.
It short, Twilight Sparkle had been assigned to engineer a severe, mandatory betrayal of a best friend, and it seemed like the worst thing she ever had to do in her life.
To make matters worse, her betrayal of Rarity then extended to the rest of her friends. Twilight reasoned that there was nopony she could share this guilty secret with because she, herself, could only keep it because she had spent most of her young life working closely with royalty. The instilled sense of duty allowed her to hold the success of her mission over a friend's feelings, if only by a painfully thin hair. Even a "Pinkie swear" was out of the question: you cannot swear not to violate a friend's trust over something that violates another friend's trust even worse! The reason for their mission remained her knowledge alone: in the end, had to lie to all of them!
From beneath her hooves, she started to sniffle again.
"Ya know..." said Pinkie Pie carefully, cocking her head 90 degrees to one side as she stared at the miserable purple unicorn, "I think Twilight's problem has something to do with R-"
Twilight was suddenly extremely animated, jumping away from the table and onto her four hooves, causing her friends to balk in surprise. "Okay, girls," she shouted in shaking authority, "it's about time I let you know what this is all about!"
Her friends passed a glance between them for just a moment before Applejack turned to Twilight and said, "Yer darn tootin' it is, missy!"
"Wellll, it's like this..." Then, it was all Twilight could do not to blurt it at once. "I've been given a new mission from Princess Celestia last night and I have to move into Castle Canterlot right away!" She panted briefly, as though it was a terrible exertion to say those words, and watched for her friends' reaction anxiously.
Naturally, they were distraught. Even Pinkie Pie's hair seemed noticeably deflated as she said, "What?! Celestia is making you move to the castle?! I didn't know she could be such a meany mean McMeaner pants!"
Before her friends could offer any sorts of objections, condolences, or assurances to visit, Twilight abruptly shouted, "There's more!" They recoiled and waited with baited breath.
Twilight almost balked again. Her friends were about to discover their lives uprooted and it was because their involvement with her. But at least she could get that off her chest.
"To help with the mission, you've all been summoned to move into the castle with me!"
This was met with even more surprise, but it Rarity who was the first to be coherent. "Dear me! Move to the palace?! Could it be that this is what Spike didn't want me to hear?"
"Yes." The lie felt powerful, sealing Twilight's conviction, dulling her pain.
Spike, usually an excellent assistant, was still rattled from Rarity's scathing disapproval last night, and had actually begged to stay in bed this morning than to help break the news. Twilight imagined he was probably covering his head with his pillow, trying to prevent himself from overhearing the conversation from the landing above.
"But this is a dream come true!" Rarity was dazzled with her inner fantasies again. "What a marvelous vacation it will be! Away on royal business, living like nobility, seeing the latest fashions, meeting the stars, and letting everypony in high places know about my beautiful dresses!"
Twilight listened to this behind a forced smile. She had hoped that her friend would remember Prince Blueblood and that, as Celestia's nephew, of course he would be amongst the castle nobility. Although, even if Rarity did remember, she probably believed she and her friends could simply snub him. From what little Twilight knew of the mission, that would be an impossibility.
"Now hol' on just a second!" drawled Applejack, "Iffin I have to live with those hoighty-toighty types fer a spell, who's a-gonna buck the apples 'round these parts?! Who's a-gonna mind the farm?!"
"It's okay, Applejack." assured Twilight, "Celestia is offering to provide everything everypony needs while they're gone, including apple buckers. You could even have her replace that saggy old plow!"
Applejack thought for a moment. "Naw, I rather earn it fair n' square. But I reckon things'll be alright as long as we've got enough hired hooves..." She still seemed rather uncertain, probably thinking about how her family would take it.
"Um..." came a weak voice.
Twilight was prepared for this. "That offer extends to everypony here, Fluttershy, so I'm sure Celestia will have no problem getting your animal friends the best care possible." The gentle pegasus looked uncertain for a moment, but then gave a little nod before looking coyly to the floor, keeping the rest of her objections to herself.
Rainbow Dash was a carefree pony, and knew plenty of pegasi who were ready to cover for her as Ponyville's main weather mare, but was always quick to jump on an opportunity when she saw one. "Do you think Celestia can put a good word in for me with The Wonderbolts?!" The famous royal flying team was never far from her mind.
"Sorry, Rainbow, it has to be something related to your job here in Ponyville."
Rainbow Dash sat with a pout. "Oh, just great, my one big chance and I get nothing!"
"Y'know, I'm pretty sure winning the Young Flier's Competition counts as putting in a good word."
The brash pegasus thought about it. "Yeah, I guess so. Wait!" She was hovering excitedly again, "Do you think I'll get to hang with the Wonderbolts while we're at the palace?"
"If they're there, it's a strong possibility."
"Woo hoo!" cried Dash, doing a little barrel roll.
Pinkie Pie was bouncing with excitement ever since she heard the news, and could not resist breaking into an anthem she invented on the spot.
Oooh, we're going to live at Canterlot, me and my five friends!
Going see the sights and have all sorts of fun without end!
We'll help Twilight in her mission and together we will be,
the finest force of fillies that Canterlot has ever seen!
The finest force of fillies that Canterlooooot has eveeeer seeeeeeeeen!
With that big finish, everypony's mood was brightened, and they were now chatting gaily about the upcoming trip, enjoying the party at last. Twilight allowed herself a little sigh of relief. Her friends' remarkable solidarity had surprised her once again: they took the news a lot better than she feared they would.
Yet, she felt even worse. Considering what she could not tell them, she did not deserve friends like these.
The two wagons carrying the friends and their things had set out from Ponyville the very next morning. The rumors had traveled fast, and it was no secret that nopony knew for certain when they would be returning. Though Canterlot was only a few hours away by wagon, many Ponyvillians bid tearful goodbyes to them as they passed, even the mayor herself.
The departure of the six ponies (plus one dragon) from Ponyville had went relatively smoothly. Perhaps the greatest resistance came from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, three young fillies with close ties. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were both being deprived of their older sisters, and Scootaloo was taking Rainbow Dash's absence at least as hard. However, the older fillies had managed to escape the gravity of those bottomless eyes with promises that the mission would be over soon and that they would be allowed to return home. (It was a promise that they desperately hoped to be able to keep.)
The trip itself was largely uneventful, the only particularly notable thing being Twilight Sparkle's continued strange behavior. Though she had made token efforts to keep up with her friends' antics as they passed the time with conversation and games, it was clear that the unicorn was becoming increasingly reserved. When she could hide it no longer, she was quick to blame it on seeing Princess Celestia, whose exposure to her friends had thus far been limited to special occasions. It was an easy excuse, since she had always demonstrated anxiety whenever making a good impression on her mentor was involved.
Finally, the two wagons pulled up to the verdant lawn before an immense structure of many majestic spires united under a graceful architecture: Castle Canterlot. Upon informing the guard of their arrival, the fillies from Ponyville were told to report to the throne room. While following the winding footpath up to the drawbridge, they passed the royal porter ponies who would be taking their things to their room. Twilight had told her friends that most things they need would be provided, but each of them had a few personal items they wanted along if they were expected to live at the castle for an indeterminable amount of time.
Although Twilight told her repeatedly it was not necessarily, Rarity insisted that she and her friends demonstrate some level of sophistication when entering the royal court today, and so had provided them with some short but elegant dresses. It was a design intended to exemplify Ponyville humility while still attracting notice. Even the tomboyish Applejack and Rainbow Dash did not find these dresses too excessively froufrou.
Spike did not get off so easy. At Rarity's request, he unquestioningly wore a blue velvet sailor suit topped with a fancy black sombrero with white trim. As they passed through the gates and into the castle, he could swear he heard some of the guards stifling snickers, but whenever he looked they were standing at statuesque attention. He felt absolutely humiliated, and planned to ditch the suit at his earliest opportunity.
Twilight's friends were excited. "I simply cannot believe this is really happening!" enthused Rarity as they passed through the antechamber leading into the throne room, "We get to live under the same roof as Princess Celestia herself!" Even Pinkie Pie seemed to be bouncing slightly higher than usual.
Twilight Sparkle stumbled sideways into Applejack, who immediately moved to support her, attracting a concerned look from her friends. "You okay, sugar cube?"
She righted herself and grinned sheepishly. "F-fine... I'm sorry for worrying you, girls, I don't think I slept very well last night."
"Understatement of the year!" came Spike's glib confirmation, "When I got up this morning, you looked like a wreck!"
"Uh huh." Twilight was too weak to protest.
As they were entering the throne room, Rainbow Dash was saying, "Then lets just get this over with so Twilight can get some re-"
"AIGH! IT'S THE YELLOW DEMON FROM THE GALA!"
The royal herald's shout caused every guard, servant, and noblepony in the court to take one look at Fluttershy and cower in place, as though afraid one wrong move would set her off. Some of them may even have started crying.
"Oh, no! Not this again!" squeaked the shy pony, cowering herself as she began to crawl backwards out of the room. Her friends gathered around her protectively, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looking about ready to kick somepony.
"Enough!" From atop her throne, Princess Celestia's usual serenity looked close to breaking. "Everypony, that is Fluttershy, one of my protege's closest friends, and I expect you to treat her kindly!"
The cowering court ponies cast a few quick glances between Fluttershy and Celestia (perhaps trying to decide who they feared more) and then climbed to their hooves, muttering all matter of apologies to the shy little pegasus. Some even bowed before her. If anything, this added attention made her even more nervous, but at least she no longer felt the need to bolt from the room.
"I'm so glad everypony could make it!" Luna cheerfully waved to them from her spot next to her big sister.
The warm welcome restored Celestia to her usual good mood as she signaled the new arrivals to approach the throne. "Come and be welcome, my little ponies. Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, it is so good to see you again."
"Uh huh." replied Twilight aimlessly.
Celestia paused for a moment, perhaps surprised at her student's lack of enthusiasm, but continued. "I wish to thank you all for answering my summons-"
"Shucks, 'taint nothin'. We're sure as sugar is happy to be helping y'all out, princess!" drawled the tawny earth pony. Some of the nobleponies in the court gaped at her. Applejack noticed this and looked a little embarrassed.
The alicorn did not seem bothered in the slightest in being interrupted. If anything, her smile became even warmer. "And your help is greatly appreciated, Applejack. Please consider Castle Canterlot your home during this important mission."
"Ooo!" marveled Pinkie Pie as she poked her head out from high behind the throne, "I can see everypony from here!"
Nopony saw how or when she got there. A noblemare fainted, probably at the breach of protocol that came from approaching the throne so brazenly.
"I know, right?" Luna was beaming at Pinkie Pie, who withdrew her head behind the throne and popped it out again at the opposite end next to Luna, nodding furiously.
Rainbow Dash flew up to the two and shouted, "Pinkie Pie, stop being so random! She was about to tell us what this is all about!" In response, the pink pony playfully stuck her tongue out at her, causing Luna to giggle.
At this point, the court was no longer surprised at their rude guests' antics, just appalled.
"That's quite alright, Rainbow Dash." Celestia's smile seemed completely unaffected by all that had transpired. "I believe the details of your mission will become clear in time. For now, why don't you girls settle into your new room?"
Rarity was gaping, as shocked as any noblepony at her friends trampling all over court etiquette, but upon hearing Celestia's dismissal she snapped back to her senses and bowed. Fluttershy and Applejack followed Rarity's example, but Twilight just stood there. Noticing this, Rarity shot a subtle kick to her flank in order to get her attention.
To the shocked cries of her friends, Twilight toppled unceremoniously to the floor, and was still.
The royal infirmary was as well-equipped as any hospital, albeit limited to six beds. There, a stately gray stallion with a stethoscope cutie mark pronounced his prognosis, "I see nothing wrong with her, so I believe Miss Sparkle is simply exhausted from the trip. All she needs now is some peace and quiet."
Twilight's friends and Princess Luna let out a collective sigh of relief. Although the purple unicorn wore an unhappy expression, she appeared to be resting comfortably.
Celestia sat beside the bed, her unusually large body taking up its entire length. She spoke kindly but firmly. "You heard the doctor, everypony. I think it's best if you let her rest. The steward will show you to your room." The doctor retreated to his private office and shut the door, while the others left through the archway leading to the rest of the castle.
There were two exceptions. "Luna. Spike. Stay a moment, won't you?" They froze. There was something about Celestia's voice that told them they were in trouble. They sheepishly made their way to the opposite side of Twilight's bed.
The monarch was to the point. "Do either of you want to tell me what was in that letter I wrote?" Luna just hung her head, while Spike kicked the ground bashfully.
The dragon spoke first, "Well, there was the proclamation. You were saying that Twilight Sparkle's mission in Ponyville had been suspended, she had to live at the castle, and that her friends were coming with her. She seemed really upset about having to break the news to everypony."
Celestia looked down at her faithful student with an unreadable expression for a moment. "This I know. And...?"
"I'm so sorry!" Luna admitted, "I told her that Blueblood and Trixie were here, that they were the reason that they were coming, and not to tell Rarity. But that's all I wrote, really!"
"Oh, Luna," murmured the older alicorn sadly, "whatever am I going to do with you?"
"You're not going to send her to the moon, are you?" The young dragon was earnest.
"No." replied Celestia immediately. Her voice was sharp, but not harsh, "Never again."
Luna seemed unaffected, already knowing this. "Somepony needed to know, Tia. It was too risky to simply spring it on them."
"I agree." The answer seemed to surprise Luna. "But there was a very good reason why I took that risk."
At her sister's inquiring glance, Celestia spoke, "Twilight Sparkle is the bearer of the Element of Magic."
Luna gasped. "I knew that, but are you saying..?"
There was a pregnant pause. Princess Luna was looking as ashamed now as when she had been carried into Ponyville following the defeat of Nightmare Moon.
Spike sensed a secret, and it worried him, "What are you two talking about?!"
Celestia answered with an abrupt command, "Spike, quickly, retrieve your friends. Tell them it is an emergency."
Twilight Sparkle felt like her ribs were being pried open but, instead of an unpleasant sensation, this seemed to be letting in a much-needed breath of fresh air. She felt something she dared not feel since before the day she left Ponyville: loved.
Her eyes gradually came into focus, taking in the royal infirmary and the visage of Princess Celestia, whose horn was aglow. Noticing she was awake, the alicorn stopped whatever magic she was performing and that pleasant inner feeling stopped, being replaced with the usual dread she had been feeling lately.
The unicorn sat up and took in the rest of the infirmary she had been resting in. Sitting on both sides of her bed were the two royal princesses. Her friends surrounded the foot of her bed in a semicircle, all wearing concerned expressions.
Spike jumped up onto the foot of her bed. "Hey Twi, how are you feeling? Do you remember how you got here?"
"Well..." She thought back to recent events. "We were about to enter the throne room and..." She winced. "The rest is a blank!"
"My faithful student." Celestia's familiar voice warmed Twilight like the rays of the sun. "Sometimes, I wish you were not so faithful."
She gaped at her. "Huh?!"
"I'm really sorry." Luna's voice eclipsed her sister's, drawing Twilight's attention to the other side of the bed. "It was wrong of me to ask you to keep anything from your friends."
The unicorn introvert was now doubly flabbergasted. "Huh?!"
At the foot of her bed, the fillies passed a look between each other. "Now, what in tarnation is this all about?" The bearer of the Element of Honesty was always quick to want to get to the truth of things.
Twilight Sparkle required a moment to reorient herself before she could recall the source of her troubles over the past few days. When she did, the pain she had suppressed back at the party came flooding back, and her eyes filled with tears. They felt bittersweet: she realized she had been given a royal pardon, and could now unload the greatest burden she ever had to carry.
She told them everything. About knowing that Prince Blueblood and Trixie would be present at Castle Canterlot. About knowing they had something to do with their mission. About choosing not inform Rarity. About how she had betrayed them all by keeping it to herself. She told them that she would not blame them if they knew how terrible she was and wanted to leave her forever. When she was done, she closed her eyes and braced for the tongue-lashing she was sure to receive.
Then, she felt the embrace of her friends from all sides. She looked and saw that the alicorns had stepped away from the bed and her friends were now piled atop of it. Pinkie Pie had even somehow found some way to replace her pillow with her stomach, hugging her head from above and behind.
But one pony did not join the embrace. Rarity stood some distance away from the bed, with her back facing them all.
"Oh no," worried Fluttershy, "I don't think she's happy."
"No." Rarity's voice smoldered at a low ladylike furor. "I'm not happy."
"Hey!" In a flash, Rainbow Dash had flown up to Rarity and was now confronting her. "I know that Blueblood jerk-"
Rarity shut her down mid-sentence with an elegant dismissal, "I could care less about Blueblood." Rainbow Dash seemed at a loss for words.
The fashionista turned to face Twilight Sparkle, glaring at her. "But what is completely unforgivable," her voice was quivering in barely contained righteous indignation, "is that anypony would dare think that Rarity Unicorn would rather abandon a friend than face a demon of her past!"
Twilight looked as though she was struck, and was about launch into a crying fit, "I'm so sorr-!"
"I forgive you." Rarity said simply.
"Huh?!" Twilight's tears stopped before they had even reformed. She was once again shocked at a sudden turn of events.
Rarity's anger had vanished in the blink of an eye, and she sat there looking at Twilight with a warm little smile. "Unforgivable or not, everypony makes mistakes, and I do believe you have suffered for it more than anypony else would have." She walked up and daintily found a place beside her friends on the overcrowded bed. "I'm proud to have a friend as marvelous as you."
Rainbow Dash rejoining them, the six friends completed their group hug in earnest. From the foot of the bed, Spike silently took the situation into account and decided that, just this time, he could forgo acting nauseated at all this mushy junk.
After some time, Celestia spoke. "Girls, I would guess that none of you have eaten anything since your arrival at Castle Canterlot." The looks she gathered indicated she guessed correctly. "Then please proceed to the grand dining hall, where you will find I have had a banquet prepared. Surely, this reconciliation is grounds for a-"
"Party!" cheered Pinkie Pie, producing confetti out of nopony-knows-where and tossing it into the air.
Laughing, the close friends left the infirmary. It felt empty without them, despite Celestia and Luna lingering behind.
From across the empty bed, Luna called, "I misjudged Rarity, didn't I, Tia?" Her tone was bright, even playful.
Celestia returned her sister's mirth. "We both did, little sister."
"Yep, that's my Rarity for you, she's wonderful." A young voice intervened dreamily. The two regal sisters turned to see Spike was still in the room, having jumped out of hiding and back onto the foot of the bed.
There, the little dragon stood firm, a stare boring into at the tall monarch as though he did not care if he went blind looking at the sun: he had just about enough of its brilliance, and it was going down.
"Alright, sister." This was his ultimatum voice. "I'm giving you two choices. Choice number one: you tell me exactly what just happened. Choice number two: you throw me in the dungeon. You're not leaving until you pick one or the other."
It was a ludicrous demand: as if a baby dragon could force an alicorn to do anything. Nevertheless, Princess Celestia confronted Spike with an unreadable expression, their staring contest going on for a full minute, before the alicorn smiled and said, "What an unusual dragon you are, Spike. You truly care about my faithful student, don't you?"
The dragon looked a little taken aback and replied, "Well, yeah. She's Twilight, you know?" That seemed to explain everything.
The tall alicorn looked to her sister, who nodded.
Luna began, "Spike, as you are aware, there are six Elements of Harmony. Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty are the basic elements. They can manifest through each of our actions and radiate throughout Equestria. However, the sixth element is different. When the first five elements combine, they become friendship. Friendship is magic. This is how the Element of Magic comes to be."
Celestia continued, "What my sister learned today is that no pony takes up the mantle of becoming a bearer of an Element of Harmony without being changed. The element transforms the bearer as needed for the magic to flow correctly. Twilight Sparkle is a very special case. Her special talent is magic, and she is the bearer of the Element of Magic. They have fused, becoming one and the same. We ponies breath magic; we require it to survive. Should the Element of Magic ever recede from Twilight Sparkle..."
Luna's voice was heavy, "Twilight Sparkle wasn't being melodramatic, Spike. The Element of Magic has been receding, taking the magic sustaining her life with it. She was suffocating!"
Spike gaped. "Holy guacamole," he said in a reverent tone, "you ponies really play for keeps." Then he was frantic in his concern for Twilight. "So what happened?! Why was the element receding?!"
"It's all my fault." A tear rolled down Luna's nose. "My sister's tasks gave Twilight things that she could get out of the way quickly, restoring the balance, but when I told her to keep Blueblood from Rarity..."
As her sister could not continue, Celestia explained, "A pony's emotions are closely tied to how the flow of their magic works. Twilight Sparkle felt she was betraying, not just Rarity, but all of her friends. To avoid the pain from this, she decided she did not deserve them, closing her heart. As her friends directly represented the five elements, she was now effectively blocking the inward flow of them all. That is why it was important for them to reconcile. Now that she again feels worthy of her friends, the five elements can now flow into her, not just from them but from everypony. The Element of Magic has been restored within her."
"I see," said Spike crossly, "So how do we fix her? How do we get her magic back to normal?"
Luna and Celestia exchanged a glance that told Spike the answer to his question before the older sister spoke. "We know of no magic that can undo what the Elements of Harmony have done."
"Fine!" the dragon spat bitterly. "In that case, there's something I gotta know. What about the other bearers? What happened to them?"
Celestia was reassuring, "Their lives are safe. As other five elements have always stood on their own, they have no danger of receding. Even if they could recede, the current bearers are not so intimately bonded with them, and would suffer no ill effect. Except, perhaps, feeling a bit empty inside."
Spike was visibly relieved, if still a little cross.
Celestia was not finished, and continued in a cautionary tone. "Yet, a transformation did occur in each of them. For most ponies, the elements function as a moral compass. To live contrary to any one element simply results in a less balanced, less harmonious life. However, for the bearers, their element has been given a much greater role, as practically the only element their moral compass draws from. This makes them very vulnerable to losing their balance and falling into discord completely."
The younger alicorn seemed to understand, but the dragon was confused, "Come again?"
Luna turned to Spike and gave him the simple version.
"When they act against their element, it's easy for them to get carried away. They may even go completely insane."
The towering walls of the grand dining hall rung with their cries, "AIGH! IT'S THE YELLOW DEMON OF THE GALA!"
"Will you stop that?!" Twilight Sparkle was glad to be back to her old authoritative self again. "Fluttershy is not a demon! She's very nice! Now, clean up this mess!"
In response, the two distinguished looking earth pony waiters stopped shivering in each others' forelegs and scrambled to clean the contents of the trays they spilled. Though the power behind being Celestia's personal protege was only implied, it was nonetheless effective.
Aside from the six friends and the occasional royal staffer, the grand dining room was empty; it was perhaps a little too clean, as though it were missing several minor furnishings. It seemed unnatural to the shy yellow pegasus as she worried quietly from their place at one end the grand dining table. "I don't know about this, Twilight. Everypony's scared of me! Maybe I should just go back to Ponyville?"
"You worry too much, Fluttershy!" Though at times Rainbow Dash seemed callous, she had known the former ex-Cloudsdalian the longest, and comforting her was old hat. "Once we set everypony straight, things will be so awesome around here!"
Across the table from the two pegasi, Pinkie Pie had already gulped countless cakes, and was now entertaining herself by making a remarkably elaborate sculpture out of some mashed potatoes. Sitting next to her, Applejack's hearty country girl appetite was doing justice to the luxurious spread before her. "And I'm atellin' ya," she drawled between mouthfuls, "this fancy-britches palace grub is mighty fine once you get used to it! Though... it could use more apples."
Rarity was sitting at the end of the table, next to the recently-reconciled Twilight, and was aghast at the farm pony's conduct. "Applejack, darling, do mind your manners!"
Applejack thought it over. "Nah. Celestia did say we should make ourselves at home, and I say the soup's on!" To Rarity's dismay, the farm pony resumed piling her plate high with various royal confections.
For some reason, Twilight Sparkle could not be happier at their usual antics than she was today. She was feeling light; alive. As though, no matter what, as long as she was with her friends, everything would be right in the world.
The familiar baby dragon walked in and joined them at the table. Twilight Sparkle greeted him brightly, "Heya Spike, what kept you?"
He grabbed a plate of rubies and replied, "Oh, I was talking to the princesses."
"Really? What about?"
"Just about how hard it's going to be to live under the same roof with all six of you." The fillies took his sour response in good humor, rolling their eyes or poking fun at how silly the young dragon was, but he inwardly congratulated himself at how smoothly he diverted suspicion.
The princesses had sworn Spike to secrecy but, as far as he was concerned, they need not have bothered. Fate (likely with a guiding hoof from Celestia) had cleverly chosen six ponies whose natural behaviors were such that they were almost never in conflict with the Elements of Harmony they bore. Spike preferred everypony thought their little quirks were just that; personality quirks, nothing else. Unlike Twilight, who he planned to keep a close eye on, it was not like he was going to croak from guilt. If anything, a dragon guarded a momentous secret like the finest jewel, something Celestia may have taken into account when she confided in him.
The dragon smiled as he chewed his gems, happy to be sharing a meal with his six favorite fillies in all the world. So maybe they do go nuts once in awhile? That was just part of the reason why he loved them!
They had been enjoying the banquet for a solid half hour when the double doors on the opposite end of the hall opened, heralding visitors.
"Shhh!" Pinkie Pie hissed in a low whisper, with all the ferocity of enforcing a Pinkie swear, "Girls, look!" The pink pony pointed far to the opposite side of the grand dining table where, over a hundred empty place settings away, a royal entourage had entered for their supper.
On the left, Prince Blueblood strut in, nose held imperially high, being trailed by his nearly-ever-present personal guards, Hans and Fritz. On the right, a smaller, bluer version of him mirrored his actions. Trixie, of course, was being trailed by her maids, Primrose and Zinnia.
Twilight gasped, seeing for the first time the two ponies they had been brought here to help, and realized that the princesses never did get around to explaining their mission. Applejack muttered what she and her friends were all thinking, "Wut do y'all reckon those two 'r all about?"
Strangely, the two remarkably self-absorbed unicorns were carefully avoiding looking at each other. In fact, so very carefully that it prevented them from looking forward, in the general direction of the six fillies plus dragon. Instead, they mostly looked at the ceiling. It was testimony to how practiced they were at sticking their nose up at other ponies that this did nothing to impede them from navigation. They sat at opposite sides of the far end of the table from the fillies, facing each other in body, if not in spirit. Between them, royal servants delivered fresh dishes of food.
Twilight Sparkle whispered to the pony next to her, "Are you alright, Rarity?"
"I told you, Twilight," she replied primly but covertly enough to escape notice, "I am completely over that ghastly prince!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. If Rarity really felt that way, then how could she explain why she had abandoned her impeccable manners in order to carefully hide behind their end of the table?
"What are those two doing eating together?" Rainbow Dash barely prevented herself from shouting her suspicion. "Do you think they're plotting against us?"
Fluttershy was looking over at the two vain unicorns with wide eyes. "Oh, my." she sighed softly, "I didn't see that coming."
At the far end of the dining hall, Blueblood and Trixie ate their food in silence. It was the prince who eventually spoke, eyes downcast on his plate. "Trixie," he said, "please pass the salt."
It was a strange request, and the oddness was multifaceted. Not only had Blueblood managed to address Trixie without her title and escaped unscathed but, when you're a unicorn, you can very well pass your own salt with your telekinesis. It was as though he was trying to get her attention... with subtle courteously? It seemed like an impossible thing for such a self-entitled prince to do, as the fillies had known him to boldly proclaim demands for anything he wanted.
Odder still, Trixie complied, quipping, "You're not going to let it go to your head, are you?" She was referring to intoxicating effect salt could have on ponies. Her voice may have been slightly sharp, but the words still seemed grossly alien compared to all the snarky replies the fillies were expecting.
"Well," Blueblood could not resist retorting with a slight edge, "that would not be the only thing that had went to my head lately."
Sharply, the tension on that end of the table had risen, to the point where the fillies could feel a certain threat hanging in the air even from where they sat. Trixie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wrestling with her towering pride. Hans and Fritz, who had been taken up a post on both sides of the double doors they had entered, looked across at each other nervously. Standing next to Trixie, the scarlet filly, Zinnia, took wing and darted behind her fellow maid, the stately Primrose.
"Miss?" It was Primrose who spoke, a noblemare's voice that elegantly expressed a single word. It sounded subtly insistent, encouraging Trixie to a course of action. Unlike the other attendants, she did not seem the least bit nervous. This pony had nerves of steel.
At this prompting, Trixie grit her teeth. Then, carefully, she allowed herself to relax. She took a deep breath. Finally, she looked directly at Blueblood and said something that shocked the six fillies to the core.
"I'm sorry."
Twilight and her friends looked at each other open-mouthed, even the indomitably oblivious Pinkie Pie not believing what she was hearing. The Great And Powerful Trixie had apologized for something. Using a first person pronoun, no less. This, the show pony who relished humiliating them up on stage rather than let them comment on her flamboyance from the audience. This, the very same pony who would rather flee from Ponyville in a dramatic exit than apologize for a simple lie that had set in motion the events that nearly lead to the quaint town's complete destruction! It was nothing short of miraculous. Could it be that Trixie had learned her lesson after all?
Yet, in response to this notably incredible thing, the prince merely harrumphed. It was not a dismissive harrumph, but rather one that seemed to suggest he really had nothing to say about that. The fillies saw that, and thought, "Now there's our inconsiderate prince."
Trixie stood up at once and yelled at him, "THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS SAID SHE IS SORRY!" Her shout echoed off the walls of the great dining hall, increasing tensions further. The ponies that had served their food beat a hasty retreat. If most of the onlookers had not already been sitting in anxious silence, they would have been now. Now that was the Trixie the six fillies knew.
Trixie was glaring at Blueblood, who now regarded her, afraid. He opened and shut his mouth soundlessly. After a moment, his eyes glazed over and he answered her in practiced regal detachment.
"Yes, very good."
That would have been the right thing to say in a relaxed dining environment. However, taking the context of the situation into account, it was so callous that even the brash Rainbow Dash blanched.
"NO, IT WASN'T!" cried Trixie, her horn aglow. Hans and Fritz dove behind some pillars. Primrose gracefully backed into a quarter, carefully shoving Zinnia behind her.
"Ooo!" Pinkie Pie had recovered from her surprise and was getting increasingly excited at watching the couple argue. Suddenly, the hindquarters she was sitting on began to rattle, and she shouted a warning to her friends, "Twitchy tail!"
Twilight and her friends exchanged a look. "Twitchy tail? But that means-"
It was then that they noticed that several articles from about the room had begun to glow, and were slowly being drawn above Trixie, as though attracted by her anger, where they begun to spin into a slow whirlwind.
"TWITCHY TAIL!" shouted Applejack, as she and her friends dove for cover.
What followed was chaos, something so terrible that the fillies and dragon would only remember scattered scenes. Twilight Sparkle and Applejack on the front lines, knocking stray projectiles out of the air with well practiced magic and apple bucking hoof respectively. Rainbow Dash flying between a spinning tempest of floating flatware, trying to avoid being pulverized by the plates. Spike bravely defending a frightened Rarity from a hail of cutlery with an improvised saucepan shield. An annoyed Rarity defending a frightened Spike with that same lid when he balked after the first volley. Fluttershy hiding under a pony-sized serving lid, only to have it levitated off her by Trixie looking for more ammunition. Pinkie Pie was on the offensive, dodging attacks with the honed skills of a professional food fighter, picking up various pies and cakes and throwing them, scoring only a few direct hits on lingering service ponies that she imagined were in league with enemy.
Once again, Castle Canterlot was under siege.
Somehow, the six fillies and Spike had managed to escape the grand dining room, galloping into the hall leading through royal quarters. Twilight Sparkle followed her friends to their room, and they quickly barricaded themselves inside by pushing some heavy wardrobes in front of the doors before bracing themselves against it for good measure.
"No explosions this time. The nephew must be restraining himself."
"Yes, sister. You know he's a good colt, deep down. This one should be short."
The voices turned Twilight Sparkle's attention away from the barricade and she found herself dumbstruck... and perhaps a little creeped out.
Though she had been to the castle many times before, this room had been completely renovated since she had last seen it. There were six alcoves, two to each wall other than the one with the double door that lead out into the hallway. Each alcove had bedroom furnishings and could be concealed with curtains decorated with the pattern of their cutie marks. Above each of the six alcoves, hewn into the rock wall, were the six icons of the Elements of Harmony.
There was no doubt about it: Celestia had actually gone so far as to create a room at the castle specifically customized for Twilight and her friends to stay in. Considering it must have been done months before she received the summons, the critical thinking unicorn could not help but feel a bit manipulated.
If Twilight had any complaints, she would not have to look far. The centerpiece of the room was a square table, ornately inlaid with gems, and large enough to accommodate three normal-sized ponies comfortably to each side. On two of those sides, the two princesses sat, drinking tea. The table had been recently decked with a fresh tea set and baked goods, even going so far as to set out places for Twilight and her friends, as if the alicorns were expecting the fillies to appear in a panic in order to join them for a post-banquet tea party. Pinkie Pie already had.
Knowing the craftiness of the creatures before him, the little dragon was not the least bit surprised. He regarded the princesses grouchily. "I hope this isn't going to be another boring, long-winded explanation." The fillies could only assume he was referring to his earlier conversation with the two, whatever it was.
Luna giggled, but Celestia was being her usual imperturbable self. "I'll try to keep it brief, Spike." she assured him kindly. He only sighed and went over to a little bed set outside Twilight's alcove, apparently deciding it was time for a nap.
A shy little sniffle attracted Twilight Sparkle's attention. A little yellow pegasus in a torn, ragged dress crouched near the door with tears streaming from her eyes. Twilight attempted to placate her, "It's alright, Fluttershy, we're safe in here."
"But that's not iiiiiit!" she wailed in response, crying even harder.
"Geeze, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash flew up and sat between them, "Give her some room! That's just Fluttershy being Fluttershy."
But Luna had abandoned her tea, trotting by both of them and nuzzling the distraught pegasus. "There, there, I know." Fluttershy looked up at Luna, her tears slowing noticeably. "But it's going to be okay, I promise."
It was then that everypony noticed Applejack brazenly confronting Celestia herself. "Enough of this tenderfootin' around." she grated, glaring at the monarch of their fair land like she was staring down a cantankerous bear. "Are you a-gonna tell us the honest truth 'bout why we're here, or you are a-plannin' on hurtin' more of my friends first?"
Though the alicorn had her eyes closed, as she often does when trying to savor the taste of her tea, Applejack's accusation caused her to almost lose her telekinetic grip on her cup; the farm pony's words had a definite impact on the almost imperturbable Celestia.
Setting down her teacup curtly, Celestia respected Applejack with an earnest reply. "As my faithful student has already told you, the reason why you are here is because Trixie and Blueblood need your help. As to what kind of help they need, I thought it best if you see it for yourself."
"That's easy. They're just jerks!" Rainbow Dash had a tendency to leap before she looked. "So, do you want us to go kick their tails?" The suggestion brought a new wave of tears from Fluttershy.
There was a hint of amusement in Celestia's reply. "Thank you, Rainbow Dash, but if I wanted to 'kick their tails,' then I'm quite certain I could do so myself."
"Clearly, they have forgotten their manners! Leave it to Rarity Unicorn, I'll teach them the charm and grace they never knew!" The unicorn was currently poking about her wardrobe, shedding herself of a dress that been forced to operate far beyond its intended stress limit.
Still comforting the crying pegasus, Luna said, "That's very generous of you, Rarity, but they already have very good manners, even if it seems they don't know how to use them." The younger alicorn indicated Fluttershy. "But I bet she knows what it is."
Unfortunately, though Fluttershy had calmed considerably, she was still too distraught to speak up.
"Tell me, Applejack," Celestia turned the tables on the earth pony, "what do you think they need?"
Taken back, she thought for a bit, and offered, "Shoot, princess, 'reckon I'd have thrown em' in the hoosegow and thrown away the key fer acting that badly outta line!"
Celestia could not resist a lighthearted laugh. "Well, if it were anypony else destroying my castle, I would certainly be tempted! But I prefer to help problem ponies, not sweep them under the carpet."
"You know what I think?" The pink party pony was spitting scone crumbs as she spoke. "I think those two vainy vain McVainensteins have been performing for everypony so long that they've forgotten how to be themselves!"
"That's very good!" The monarch was impressed. "But do you know why this is causing them so much trouble?"
Pinkie Pie thought it over with a fresh mouthful of teacake. "Noph!" she said brightly.
Finally, Celestia turned to Twilight Sparkle. "What do you think, my student?"
Twilight Sparkle was accustomed to being regularly tested by her teacher. Why would not being themselves be a problem for Blueblood and Trixie? Thinking it over, there was definitely something off about the two vain unicorns, but what?
She looked at Fluttershy. The shy little pegasus knew, at least Luna said so. Thinking back to the party, didn't she say something? Right: she said she didn't see it coming. What didn't she see? What Twilight had seen was the sullen Trixie and Blueblood eating dinner in silence. The weirdly unnecessary passing of the salt and the question it caused Trixie to voice. That incredible apology. The usually flawlessly suave Blueblood responding to it so awkwardly, and how upset it made Trixie.
Twilight pondered that last thought aloud. "Hmmm... a clueless prince... that poor entertainer..." Then she stopped. She stared at Rarity, who had frozen, staring back. They had heard that somewhere before. At the last romance book club meeting, in fact.
"Are they... are Trixie and Blueblood... in love?!"
The question was so outrageous that it hung silently in the room. Even Fluttershy stopped crying.
Rainbow Dash collapsed into a laughing heap with Applejack. "Yeah, right, Twilight thinks Trixie and Blueblood are in love. They practically tried to kill each other! The only pony they could love is themselves!" Twilight blushed from embarrassment.
To the laughing ponies' dismay, Celestia intoned, "Twilight Sparkle, you are absolutely correct."
Faintly, Fluttershy could be heard saying, "That's what I've been trying to say!"
Spike apparently wasn't asleep, after all. "Duh! I figured that out before we even left Ponyville."
Everypony had joined Celestia and Luna at the table. They had all shed their ruined dresses and were now wearing a pony's favorite casual everyday wear: nothing at all. The tea and food was delicious, and they hoped it would wash away some of the anxiety of how things had been going since their arrival.
Spike had given up feigning sleep and was now sitting next to Luna. From the adjoining corner, Pinkie Pie reached over and gave him a playful noogie. "How'd you know those two were in love, Spiky?"
The dragon was glad to have an excuse to be out of his sailor suit. Although, as he rubbed the sore spot on his head scales, he regretted not having the hat right now. "Well," he explained, "the way I see it, it's like this: Trixie's a girl pony, and Blueblood's a boy pony."
Twilight inwardly wondered how a dragon who had a crush on a pony would draw any conclusion from that, but instead just pressed the question at hoof, "That's not exactly enough to go on, Spike."
"I'm not finished!" he protested. "The thing is, those two are the most shallow ponies I know! I mean, really shallow. I'm talking, like, I don't know, a desert or something? Zero redeeming value. They're so shallow that if-"
Luna cleared her throat, "That's our nephew you're talking about." (Technically, the term "nephew" was an honorific for a mortal pony some 52 times removed from the immortal.)
"Uh, right!" The dragon quickly moved on. "So what I was thinking is that there's only one thing somepony like Trixie and Blueblood would have a chance at even considering falling in love with. And that would be some pony that reminded them enough of themselves. Either that, or a mirror."
Celestia laughed lightheartedly once again. "You are a dragon of many surprises, Spike. When I first heard about Trixie from Twilight's friendship reports, that's exactly what I thought."
"Now hol' on there just a minute!" drawled Applejack, "Are you a-sayin' y'all fixed those two up?"
The tall alicorn smiled and rolled her eyes upward, the clear picture of somepony up to something. From across the table, her younger sister giggled at her behavior. She was being so obvious that even Rainbow Dash saw it, and exclaimed, "What?! You did?! But why?!"
"Oh brother," grumbled Spike, "this is going to be another lengthy exposition, isn't it?"
Celestia ignored him, suddenly serious, addressing everypony in attendance. "My nephew needed help. He was raised to be a diplomat, it was his special talent, and he was very good at it. However, when his scheme against Rarity backfired, his reputation was ruined, the whole basis of his special talent was gone. There was really nothing left for him in this world. I honestly feared he would take his own life!"
Spike was angry. "Yeah, well that jerk deserved it!" He was entitled to it, as the dragon had been very badly injured by Blueblood in the caper that had so backfired on the prince.
Rarity's face was conflicted; likely she was torn between two things. On one hoof, the gravity of the punishment Blueblood received had gone far beyond what she was aware of. The generous soul would not have wished that even upon her worst enemy! On the other hoof, had the prince succeeded in his plan, that same terrible fate would have been hers!
"Whether or not he deserved it, Spike, he's still our nephew, and now he had a serious problem. Yet, the cause of all his problems was there all along. His vanity: that was what had driven him to ruin. That pride had a certain use when he could be seen as a leader but, now, it only served to hold him back. I decided that I needed to find some way to cure him."
Twilight could see where this was going, "So how was Trixie going to be that cure?"
Luna answered, "A lot of vanity has to do with not loving anypony other than themselves. My sister thought that if the two were in love with one another, then they would slowly be able to overcome their limitations. Even better, it would cure two ponies simultaneously, as Trixie has the same problem."
Spike was acting nauseated, "We sure are throwing the word 'love' around a lot here." Rarity, the true romance novel addict among them, cast him a disapproving look and he clammed up immediately.
"It almost worked," continued Celestia, "you may have noticed some signs of improvement." The friends recalled Trixie's miraculous apology with a new understanding. "Unfortunately, the problem was much worse than I thought. Due to their complete inability to communicate, they are perpetually getting in fights! These fights are so terrible that it causes them to completely fail to learn anything!"
"It's a real mess," Luna interjected, "I can't tell you how much of the royal coffers are going to undoing the damage between Trixie and Blueblood's fights. Suffice to say, it's a lot! If it weren't for my sister's stubborn insistence to see everypony happy, I think I would have called the whole thing off!"
"Luna!" Fluttershy was expressing demure outrage, unusually assertive. "This is love we're talking about! You don't just, 'call the whole thing off!' That's... that's just so mean!" She would not back down, but she did tear up a little.
"Maybe so," replied the younger alicorn, "but look at them: they're miserable! What Tia did to them just brings them into constant conflict!"
Rainbow Dash was amused, "Tia?" Luna covered her mouth in surprise. The six fillies looked at their mighty ruler with little smiles on their faces.
"My darling little sister's pet name for me." replied Celestia with a gruff tone before continuing on smoothly, "Really, Luna, you act like I cast a spell on them or something. All I really did was introduce them to each other."
Luna giggled like her sister had just told a naughty joke, and said, "Throwing two ponies in a life threatening situation is not exactly an introduction, Tia."
"A controlled life-threatening situation." stressed Celestia to reassure the wide-eyed fillies, "I was ready to intervene every step of the way. Besides, it would not have worked if they were not truly compatible. Tell me truthfully, Luna, do you think those two want to break up?"
The younger alicorn's eyes were downcast, "Well, no, I guess not. Frankly, that they are still together after so much has gone wrong is nothing short of amazing! Their love is strong, Tia, but even that will not keep them together if things keep going on like this."
"Then it's decided!" Celestia announced, addressing all in attendance, "Your mission is to help Trixie and Blueblood learn how to open up and communicate, thereby saving their relationship."
"Now, hold your horses!" shouted Applejack, "Sure, it's fer a good cause, but I still don't like this. Reckon this here is some kinda conspiracy!"
"That's right. And now, you six are in it too. I believe that you, as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, are the only ones who can bring harmony to this relationship. For the good of Equestria, we need you: help us to cure these two of their villainous ways."
Despite the monarch's words, Applejack's sentiment was still strongly in the fillys' minds, instilling doubt. True, Princess Celestia was their widely-beloved ruler and the very alicorn trusted to raise the sun itself each day. She was unquestionably wise, counting her age in centuries, perhaps millennia. Unlike any other pony known, the alicorn had both the authority and experience to make this plan work. Considering she would be forced to live with the consequences more than any mortal pony, she may even be entitled to meddle in their affairs.
Yet, even if Celestia was the most qualified pony on the planet; even when the cause was just; even if her goal was to bring happiness to every single pony Equestria... there was no denying that she was still being an unabashed Machiavellian; the princess was not the least bit repentant about her guile. Were the alicorn any mortal pony, it would be something unquestionably atrocious. It was something an innocent filly would not want to know about, let alone participate in.
Each of the young mares about the table took this differently. Twilight Sparkle was the least conflicted, she had come to trust Celestia... she may have even been taught to trust her mentor. Rainbow Dash had decided to go along the plan simply because her friends needed her. Pinkie Pie's motives were a mystery, as usual, but she simply commented she loved a good prank and left it at that. Fluttershy was conflicted at first, weighing the tragedy of the two lovestruck ponies against the cruelty of deceiving them, but the gravity of the former eventually won out. In the end, it was only Applejack, the farm pony who prided straightforward honesty above all else, who looked like she was about to give Celestia a piece of her mind. She would have, too, were she not surprised by Rarity suddenly standing up from the table and walking towards her alcove.
Twilight called out to her, "Rarity? We're not done yet."
Rarity ignored her friend and began collecting her things. She seemed to be packing. Luna and Celestia exchanged a disappointed look: it was clear the unicorn had decided to return to Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle's horn glowed, and she teleported herself directly in front of Rarity, blocking her access to the wardrobe. "Rarity?! What are you doing?!"
"Twilight, darling. I simply can't do it. I can't. I Can't. I CAN'T!" Rarity flopped to the ground and began to thrash about in her trademark hysterics. "I know I said I would not abandon a friend but... how could you?! This goes beyond just helping him! This is about finding true love! The very thing I was denied whenever that most un-princely of princes was involved! He deliberately toyed with me, Twilight! I refuse! He doesn't deserve to be loved. But I do! Where's my true love?! Oh, Twilight, I'm so pathaaatheeetiiic!" She was bawling bucket loads of over-dramatic tears as she rolled about on the ground.
During this, Luna whispered to Spike, "See? Act completely opposite to her element, go completely insane."
Much to her surprise, rather than defend his crush, Spike whispered back glibly, "Sister, you ain't seen nothing yet!"
Twilight Sparkle knew that her friend had a point, but also that she needed her help. How could she convince her to stay? She looked frantically to her other friends for answers. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked as lost as she was, Pinkie Pie had vanished, Fluttershy was more likely to sympathize, Spike would just be a lapdog, and even Luna and Celestia seemed to have nothing to say. The scholarly unicorn knew an unsolvable problem when she saw one and despaired.
"Oh!", she cried, "What do I do? What do I do?!"
Oh, Twilight, don't you see?
Twilight Sparkle froze. She had heard that tone before. "No. You have got to be kidding me."
Applejack spotted Pinkie Pie and gave the honest response. "Sorry, partner, it's so."
The pink earth pony with the cotton candy mane was singing. Between verses, she flit quicker than eyes could follow from alcove to alcove, behind wardrobes, onto the chandelier, even under the table a few times. The song was sung in the same lighthearted tone that had once saved them from Nightmare Moon's trap, but this time the lyrics were... different.
When I was a little filly, my life was pretty baaaaaad.
If I couldn't get the harvest, my dad, he would get maaaaaad.
I'd pant and scrape and quibble, toil endlessly and fall,
but daddy Pie said, that wasn't the way, to break those rocks at all!
He said, "Pinkie, you've gotta stand up tall, grip the pick right here.
Yes dear, it'll hurt at first, but keep whackin' 'til it disappeeeaars!"
Hah Hah Hah!
Pinkie Pie was walleyed. Her usually fluffy cotton candy curls were noticeably less curly: not completely straight, but far cry from the usual volume. As she laughed, it had a bitterly ironic ring to it. This was clearly not a pleasant memory she was recounting, and neither was the lesson it conveyed. Luna was again whispering to the slack jawed dragon.
Soooooooo,
stop cryin' 'bout your issues,
go blow 'em in a tissue!
Life's not all fine dining,
so quit it with your whining!
Just take it with good humor,
or else you'll get a tumor!
So, help that silly prince get hitched so that he'll take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can show his face around Ponyville then you can't be held accountable for what's gonna- hahahah!
Laaaaaaaaaauuugh!
When the song was over, the fillies and the dragon were laughing... sort of. It was a bit forced, like it was being done to boost their pink friend's spirits more than their own, but they were laughing nonetheless. Beneath the din, Celestia was furtively conversing with Luna... something about filly labor regulation.
"Twilight," hissed Rarity in a low whisper, "I think I'll stay, after all."
"Really?!" she was certain the song would have made the situation worse, not better.
"Yes." Rarity's resolve was firm. "Because, as awful as it will be to help that insufferable prince find true love while I am being left in the dirt..." She paused in mid-sentence and glanced at Pinkie Pie. The usual cotton candy mane was still somewhat limp, but it seemed to be steadily inflating back to normal. "...that will be nothing compared to life on that ghastly rock farm!"
What followed was the master planning session. Celestia had recommended each of Twilight Sparkle's friends come up with an idea representing their element; she wanted them to suggest ways to reinforce these virtues in the two love-struck unicorns, reasoning that each of these lessons would introduce ways for them to open up to each other.
So the conspirators had reassembled about the table, drinking tea and eating treats while chatting brightly about how they would go about helping Blueblood and Trixie. However, there was one pony who smouldered resentfully, saying nothing, her signature hat pulled down low, hiding most of her face.
Applejack had given her word, but she didn't have to like it. Immediately after Rarity announced she was staying, the earth pony announced that she was going to walk right up to that Blueblood feller and Trixie and tell them what was going on. But Twilight had said that was a bad idea; that if they discovered they were only together because of Celestia's meddling it would blow their one chance at becoming better ponies.
Twilight made Applejack promise not to tell, their friendship alone being the main reason why she agreed, and the farm pony took her promises deadly serious. So here she was, stuck having to go along with Celestia's underhanded schemes. She'd be deliberately lying to everypony. Not even a half or three-quarters truth as she'd usually be able to get away with when she was cornered, but genuine, masterfully-wrought, full-potency lies!
Actually, now that she thought about it, it was not all that bad. She allowed herself a naughty little giggle and was surprised to remember she had not made that sound since she was a young filly trying out being a Manehattenite with her Aunt and Uncle Orange. They did things differently, those city slickers. All those stuffy manners, it was as if they were afraid of saying what was on their mind. So, instead, they said them behind everypony's back, the dirty rumors of high society, like it was a guilty pleasure. The filly could not help but get caught up in the gossip mills - it was so much fun!
The farmpony wondered how much fun she could have in the castle right now. Why, she could learn all sorts of things about the nobleponies by hanging around Celestia's court. She would just have to pretend to be one of them. It would not be hard: all she had to do was dust off that fancy manner of speaking she learned when she was young and borrow one of Rarity's most froufrou dresses. She could even fabricate a few choice rumors on her own.
Then, if she learned something really good about somepony, she would be ready to start blackmailing them. Why, with the bits from that, she could fix that saggy old roof in no time! Maybe it would be even faster to cut out the middlestallion and just snatch whatever they left laying around carelessly. Come to think of it, she could probably even find the royal treasury of all Equestria around the castle somewhere...
"Applejack, are you all right?" While her other friends were too wrapped up in their ideas to notice, Twilight Sparkle did, and was concerned.
The tawny earth pony froze. She had been crouching malevolently, wringing her forehooves in anticipation of all the gold bits they would be handling. She thought about what she would say. She could say she was fine... but this was Twilight. Her friend deserved better than that. She forced it out, "No, Twi, I'm not. I'm a-schemin' like a lowdown, dirty snake. 'Taint right. 'Taint right a'tall."
She shuttered, feeling the oily residue from her insidious plotting ooze off her body like she was escaping quicksand. Oh, it felt so good for her to say that! This guilt was a feeling she had first encountered when she regret her actions in Manehatten as a filly, sense being knocked back into her by the roar of a sonic rainboom. But this was worse, much worse. She could not believe she was considering stealing from somepony! Granny Smith would whoop her good if she knew!
She was roused from her thoughts by Twilight saying something, "I know this is hard for you, Applejack, but I'm really glad to have all my friends here to help." A smile of genuine gratitude before returning to the conversation taking place at the table. Applejack's friend had misunderstood, thinking she was referring to the conspiracy they were all a part of, but the effort of trying to tell the truth made enough of a difference to matter.
The apple bucker began to perspire as much as when she did the last time she went snout-to-snout to hide something from Pinkie Pie. She realized she was on a slippery slope: this conspiracy stuff was a heap more potent than a mere surprise party; it was dangerous! She would have to watch her thoughts carefully every single second. But how long could she do that? Not nearly long enough!
So Applejack did what any honest pony would: she looked for a pony she could confide in. Of course, Twilight Sparkle was her first choice, but she decided against it. Her bookish friend was relying on her, and would be shaken in discovering how weak her normally ever-reliable friend was. Fluttershy would undoubtedly be sympathetic but, other than using "the stare" to keep her perpetually cowed into submission (a terrifying idea) she would be unable to do anything to help. The farm pony reckoned the fashionista would think the problem could be solved by reinventing her with dresses, makeovers, flowery manners, or something even more ridiculously froufrou. Pinkie Pie was not a bad choice, as the other earth pony of their group could come up with surprising solutions and could be trusted to keep a secret, but Applejack was not looking for cheering up: she was looking for someone to tirelessly keep her on the straight and narrow.
This left Rainbow Dash. That idea rung true to the farm pony immediately. The two had come to loggerheads once, getting carried away and sabotaging each other terribly during a heated competition, so the pegasus could understand what the earth pony was going through more than anypony else. More importantly, she was a true blue pony who stuck by her friends no matter what. This was not only because of her impeccable faithfulness, but also because she had more stamina than most ponies could ever dream of!
It was decided. Applejack was sitting next to Rainbow Dash, and now nudged her furtively to get her attention, an expression the in-your-face athlete recognized implicitly. "What is it, AJ?" The pegasus was smiling at her, bright and innocent, not a care in the world. The farm pony felt a tinge of shame that lazy old Rainbow Dash was being far more reliable than her, but rapidly banished it from her mind in case anything bad could come of it.
She was interrupted before she could say anything. "Applejack, Rainbow Dash," intoned Princess Celestia in her usual lyrical voice, "would you two be so kind as to see if the fighting has died down?"
The tawny earth pony glared at the alicorn, who merely regarded her warmly in return. Applejack did not know how, but she was positive that lowdown scheming alicorn already knew what she was going through. Nonetheless, this was exactly what she needed, so she complied with the suggestion without a word, focused on kicking from her mind the guilty pleasure she felt from a deception working in her favor.
After pushing aside their makeshift barricade and carefully and sneaking through the doors, the two fillies made their way carefully through the hallway in the direction of dining hall. The staffers had fled, but the scenery had escaped damage. It was eerie, like a ghost town. Applejack barely payed attention to it, more worried about how she was going to broach her all-important request to Rainbow Dash.
When they finally had reached the dining hall, they noticed that Trixie and Blueblood were gone, along with their respective maids and guards. Though there was a tremendous amount of shattered clutter and debris near the side of the hall they had fought, it seemed probable that the two had worked off their steam and retreated to brood. Not a pony remained, not even a servant; the two friends would seem to be completely alone in the middle of the castle.
Not even the reluctant conspirator could ignore that this was her best opportunity to get Rainbow Dash alone. As the flier turned to leave, the grounder grabbed her tail. Having her attention, she spat out the tail and said, "Hang on there, partner, I've got sumthin' important to say."
The pegasus may have recalled that the farm pony was trying to get her attention earlier, and asked, "What's up?"
Rapidly coalescing in Applejack's mind was a temptation not to tell the pegasus. Not because she was planning on doing any of those horrible things... at least, not yet. But rather because she was deeply ashamed of admitting weakness. She had always felt that being an unreliable pony was the same thing as being a dishonest pony. Because she held this false belief, her fear of admitting her weakness created a true vulnerability, and she felt herself sliding back into the brink. She had to spit it out, now, or she may not get another chance.
"Rainbow Dash," she spoke clearly and earnestly, and it formed a protective bubble in her mind, "this here conspirin' stuff is havin' a real bad effect on me. I dunno whut I'm gonna do. Lie, steal, r' worse-"
"Woah, woah, woah, woah!" Rainbow Dash interrupted, backing off, a little afraid, "Are saying you're going nuts, AJ?!"
It sounded dangerously close to a rejection, and it was threatening the integrity of the shield Applejack had formed in her mind. She acted fast to reinforce it. "Listen, Dash! I'm just a simple country gal, I can't handle all this high falutin' schemin'! It goes against my grain!" She swallowed and said her least favorite phrase in the world. "I NEED your help!"
Rainbow Dash's eyes had become hard. But not out of rejection. In fact, the pegasus walked right up to Applejack and put both forehooves on her shoulders. "AJ, you're one of my best gal pals. I got your back. Just tell me what I need to do." She was not the bearer of the Element of Loyalty for nothing.
Something in the back of the farm pony's mind told her that this would be her last chance to loosen her reins a bit. Let her cheat, just a little. She grit her teeth and mentally kicked it back where it belonged. "I need you to stick to me like apple compote on a dumplin'! Don't let me outta yer sight, not even fer even a second! 'N if I look like I'm doin' somethin' bad, anythin' a'tall, y'all gotta stop me. Got it, partner?"
The pegasus's eyes still had that look of determination in them. "Got it, partner!" She paused. "But shouldn't we tell the others?"
"But the others r' why I'm doin' it this way!" Applejack was feeling a little better now that her external safety buffer was beginning to form. "I don't want to worry anypony else, 'specially Twi. Y'all know how easily upset she can git! Reckon, as long as y'all'r keepin' me from doin' anythin' I'd regret, I ain't lyin' or being unfaithful to em', n' neither are you."
If there was a logical inconsistency in this, Rainbow Dash could not see it, and so her innocence was preserved. "Alright, AJ. Lets shake on it!" She spit on her hoof and extended it to the farm pony.
Applejack returned the gesture. Her foreleg had never felt so much like it was not her own as when she reached out to seal that hoofshake; all the remaining temptation she had to misbehave resisted her. However, as soon as she came in contact with Dash, those guilty thoughts were sealed away, and she was her own pony again. She had signed a mental contract not only with the pegasus, but with herself, and was now committed to staying on the right side of the tracks.
"Whew-ee!" the apple bucker breathed in clear relief, "Thank ya kindly, sugar cube. I can't tell you how much I 'preciate this." She felt a little silly about it now, doubting Rainbow Dash would even need to intervene: all she really had to do is be an ever-present reminder.
"Hey, what are friends for?" the pegasus answered brightly, "Now lets go back and let everypony know the coast is clear."
"Right behind ya, partner!" They happily galloped back to their room like it was a make up race all over again.
Though normally ridiculously reserved, Fluttershy had proven unexpectedly assertive in insisting on going through with her plan first. Celestia had complied, stating that a generalized kindness would indeed be an excellent foundation for the other lessons.
The shy yellow pegasus may look like a pushover to most ponies, but her friends knew differently. Somewhere beneath that helpless-looking exterior raged a force of will that could cow a full-grown dragon into submission or stare down a cockatrice in mid-petrification. At least, these had been demonstrated. What is more, to have learned as much as she did about the care of animals was no minor thing: she may not be a scholar like her friend Twilight Sparkle, but she was no airhead.
Even now, she sat on the balcony outside the tallest tower in Castle Canterlot, peering below with a pair of binoculars, a mastermind at work. Next to her sat Twilight Sparkle, the one and only unicorn whose assistance she decided she would need for this task.
Twilight was wearing a strange spiral on her horn, inscribed with runes. It started at a little sconce hooked on the end of the horn. From there, a thin metal band spiraled down the length of it. Wider and further from the horn it went, until it attached on a little dish hooked around the base of the horn.
"I can see them," breathed Fluttershy nervously.
On the plateau far below the castle, a stately wagon pulled to a stop on a country road. Out of it stepped their quarry. They were sporting surprisingly casual dress; Prince Blueblood wore a fine striped blazer vest and Trixie wore an elegantly-styled sundress. They walked up a path beside the road towards what appeared to be a rather picturesque looking park. Even from here, they seemed uncomfortable, as though embarrassed anypony would notice them together. Their usual four attendants were there, but waited next to the wagon, at the entrance to the park.
"Wow!" Twilight was once again impressed at her alicorn mentor. "I can't believe she was able to convince them. So, Fluttershy, how did you want to do this?"
The pegasus put down her binoculars and turned to the unicorn. "Um... okay, so here's what I was thinking (if that's alright with you). I'm, um... going to watch them..." Her voice trailed off.
Twilight waited. Nothing more seemed to be forthcoming from her friend, so she prodded for more information. "Just watch them?"
"Yes." She stated politely. Twilight stared at her. "Um, well, actually, no. You see, I'm trying to see if there's something we can do that makes it look like they were being nice to each other."
"Nice?" prodded Twilight.
"Nice." That seemed to be all the explanation Twilight was expected to need.
"So let me get this straight." The unicorn pointed at the spiral on her horn, "That's the reason why I'm wearing the far caster?" It was an expensive and highly regulated magical artifact on loan from the princesses, but she had been trained in its use as a part of her School For Gifted Unicorns education. "You're going to tell me things to do that give them a chance to be nice?"
"Yes." This time Fluttershy meant it.
The scholar thought about it. If the far caster was used carefully, their quarry would suspect nothing. It was a brute force solution, but a clever one nonetheless. A little push here, a little pull there, and they could cause all sorts of little accidents that would provide the needed segues for the two vain unicorns to show a little kindness. If they were really as lovestruck as the alicorns claimed, it should prove irresistible to them. Of course, direct telekinetic manipulation of another pony without their permission was a very rude faux pas, and most unicorn parents had taught their foals better. However, being on a mission for the beloved monarch of the land would undoubtedly be an exception most parents would approve of.
"Oh!" The pegasus had donned her binoculars again and spotted their first opportunity. Blueblood was standing on the crest of a little hill, perhaps imagining his splendor as being the perfect topping for it. Nearby, Trixie noticed an interesting flower and had decided to sneak a little sniff of it as long as nopony was looking. "Shake that flower!" cried Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle's eyesight was not the best in Ponyville, but one of the benefits of the far caster was that it provided magical spacial awareness at any patch of ground she could vaguely see. She knew exactly what flower that Fluttershy was referring to, and gave it a little shake.
The pedals tickled Trixie's nose. She sneezed. Blueblood did not even notice.
"Oh." Fluttershy was mildly disappointed.
Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes. "Really, Fluttershy, you're going to have to make me do something a lot more noticeable than that."
"Like what?"
"Well..." Twilight said the first thing that came to mind. "How about I trip one of them?"
The pegasus was aghast. "I could never!"
"No, really, it's easy! Watch!" To the shy pony's horror, Trixie's forelegs suddenly slipped out from under her, and she pitched forward into the flower she had been sniffing, squashing it. Twilight remembered the mare magician's performance back at Ponyville and wondered how she enjoyed some of her own medicine. Blueblood heard Trixie fall but, by the time he turned to see what happened, she had already scrambled to her hooves, looking peeved.
"Ya see?!" Twilight was a bit too self-satisfied sometimes. "That almost worked. We just need better timing."
"I don't know, Twilight..." sadness was in her eyes.
But the unicorn was firm. "What am I always telling you?"
Fluttershy held her breath for a moment and asked, "Be more assertive?"
"That's right! So do it! Loosen up! Have a little fun with it!"
The pegasus sighed. "Oooh... alright." She donned her binoculars looking a little more determined. After following the path of Blueblood and Trixie through the park for awhile, she issued a quiet shout, "There! Shake those bushes!"
Their quarry had reached a point on the path that had been overgrown on either side by rose bushes. Twilight Sparkle gave the bushes a quick little shake, trying to impersonate a sudden gust, and the vines slapped against the flanks of the vain unicorns, causing them both to vault forward in surprise at the pricking of the thorns. They landed ahead on the path, free of the reach of the plants. The two glanced briefly at each other before continuing, apparently deciding the issue had resolved itself without need for reassurance.
"Horseapples!" The word sounded comical spoken so gently. "I was certain that was going to work."
"Don't worry about it, Fluttershy, we can try again. There's plenty more thorny brambles and such on the path ahead."
"Hmmm, there are, aren't there?" There was a slight edge to her voice as she peered intently through the binoculars. The gentle pegasus had never tried to think of ways to deliberately bring about harm before, but she was finding it surprisingly easy now.
"Glad to see you're getting in the spirit of this! Keep in mind I can do a lot more than just shake things, okay?"
Silence was the only response Twilight received as the mastermind plotted her next move. Of course the pegasus had known the unicorn could do quite a bit more than that: she had felt it firsthand, when she allowed her friend to directly manipulate her in an attempt to throw her natural grace off during a fashion show. Had she forgotten how embarrassing that was? Oh, she could just kick something! Or better yet... a guilty little thought came to her mind.
"Have Trixie kick the prince."
The thought almost made Twilight Sparkle laugh out loud. Oh, this should be fun. Trixie found herself reflexively lashing out one hoof to kick the prince sharply on the rump. The blow was unexpected, but he righted himself before he lost his balance, casting her a confrontational expression. Trixie had turned away from him, pretending to sniff a flower again while hiding a worried face. She quickly recovered her composure and turned to meet the prince's gaze. Seeing his expression, her mouth opened briefly, perhaps to deliver another incredible apology... but she did not. She shut it and continued briskly along the path as though nothing had happened. The prince looked conflicted for a moment, but decided to let it pass. It was, after all, a considerable improvement from having half the grand dining hall thrown at him.
"Yesss," hissed the pegasus beneath her breath, "that was good, Twilight, real good." She had little devilish little grin on her face as she surveyed the exchange through her binoculars. "But we need to do even better!" It was too quiet for her unicorn friend to hear, but she decided not to pry.
Below, the couple had come across a part of the path that went over a plank leading across a miniature gully. It was only a few foot drop, a pony could easily stand up from the dry floor and climb up back onto the surface if they wanted. The plank itself was only about twice the length of a good sized pony. For example, a stallion.
"Shove him off that plank," commanded Fluttershy.
There was no time to argue, so Twilight complied. Her magic kicked the underside of the makeshift bridge sharply, and Blueblood sprawled off the other end! He lay flat on his back in the ditch, the wind knocked of his lungs, four hooves dangling in the air, looking dazed and confused. Seeing this, Fluttershy snickered to herself, absorbing the waves of guilty pleasure emanating from what she had ordered done.
Trixie was some distance ahead of Blueblood; before he had been so rudely ejected, the prince had not quite caught up to her. The mare magician turned to see what that noise was, only to find her companion had vanished from view. She cast about with a sour expression on her face, as though wondering where he had run off to. After awhile, she turned and continued slowly along the path alone. Her head was hung a little low, perhaps inwardly blaming his sudden disappearance on her inexplicably kicking him.
Blueblood recovered his senses and climbed bodily out of the ditch. He just barely caught Trixie's tail vanishing around a corner and galloped to rejoin her. As he did, she noticed him and fixed him an unreadable expression, perhaps deciding whether she was more angry at him for abandoning her than she was sorry for her earlier behavior, but decided to let it pass without comment as they continued down the path. The prince did not mention the footbridge incident, most likely blaming a sudden attack of clumsiness or a rickety plank.
Fluttershy threw down the binoculars and stomped her hooves in frustration, shaking the balcony that she and her friend were on. "Just how stupid are these two?!" she stormed. Twilight Sparkle was surprised: she had never heard her friend call anypony stupid before, and had only seen her this angry once. Yet, she did have to agree that it was remarkable just how oblivious the two vain unicorns had been, so she decided not to call her friend out on it. The pegasus snatched her binoculars back up from the floor and glared at their quarry.
Now the clueless couple had reached the part of path that crossed a wooden bridge over a picturesque little lake, perhaps more of a large fishing pond. They paused near the middle to look over into the pristine waters below.
Fluttershy's smile was sinister, as though they had fallen into a trap. "Shake that bridge, Twilight! Really give them a scare!"
The unicorn thought fast about how she could do so surreptitiously and complied. She decided to vibrate the bridge rapidly as though there was a sudden earthquake. Lending credibility to this, the movement of the bridge caused the lake surface to ripple outward. The prince and mare magician were frightened, and held onto the railing for dear life.
"Lets see them ignore this!" cackled the savage yellow pegasus. Twilight let out a shout of surprise as Fluttershy suddenly kicked her sharply in the flank! The energy about her horn surged, and the bridge that she was shaking suddenly received ten times as much force than intended. It shattered, sending both Trixie and Blueblood plummeting to the bottom of the lake!
"YES!" hissed Fluttershy, pumping a forehoof in the air in victory.
Twilight Sparkle could only look at her friend in shock: they may have just killed two ponies! The unicorn scrambled to the railing of the balcony, desperately scanning the surface of the water, looking for air bubbles, flailing limbs, anything! Then, to her great relief, there was movement at the edge of the lake, and out slogged two wet, miserable looking unicorns.
Perhaps feeling it above them to shake themselves dry, they just sat down upon the ground outside the lake, dripping wet. Trixie and Blueblood's clothes, coats, and manes were covered in algae, leaves, the soft dirt from the bottom of the lake, and several unidentifiable splotches. Yet, they made no effort to clean themselves. Instead, they cast imperiously away from each other, determined to emotionally distance themselves even in this happenstance. It was simply ridiculous, as though they expected anypony to believe they had not just taken a forced swim.
The vain couple may have known how ludicrous they were being, because they could not resist taking a sidelong glance at each other. Slowly, a small grin appeared on each of their faces. Noticing that the other had also peeked, this made the grins even larger. They stood and faced each other, getting a good look at the atrocity that had come of their fine appearance. Unable to stifle their mirth any longer, they began to laugh. The laughing built and built, until their lungs began to fail them, causing them to fall forward and support each other with their forelegs as their shoulders shook with mirth.
"See?!" demanded the pegasus with a savage grin, "They're nice now! We're done here!"
"Wait!" Before Twilight could get another word in edgewise, her friend took wing and flew below the balcony, out of her sight. "Where are you going?!" Fluttershy was already too far gone to hear.
The unicorn levitated the binoculars that her friend had left behind to get a good look at the spectacle she had wrought at the lake below. She frowned. "That looks more like laughter than kindness to me."
Diving towards the royal gardens, a yellow pegasus laughed madly as she flew through the air. She was drunk with power; she could teach anypony anything by simply pushing them hard enough. Right now, she was remembering some reluctant castle fauna that desperately needed to learn to love her.
When Twilight Sparkle relayed the news of how Fluttershy's plan had unfolded, Princess Celestia and Luna were concerned, and for two good reasons. First, the shy yellow pegasus had gone completely missing after the event, and the lack of consideration that went into abandoning her friends was worryingly unlike her. Second, they agreed that it would seem the wrong facet of harmony had been taught, laughter instead of kindness, and cautioned the five remaining fillies that they would need to somehow make up for that.
Pinkie Pie cheerfully suggested that she would be happy to take up the burden of teaching kindness. After all, with laughter already done, she needed something else to do. Unsurprisingly, her plan was to throw an extravagant party: as far as she was concerned, that was the answer to everything. She pointed out that none of her parties were ever mean, so naturally they would exemplify kindness. The others realized that this was slightly off target: they were not trying to do something kind for them, they were trying to teach them to be kind. When they explained this to the pink earth pony, she simply replied with a bright, "Okey dokey lokey!"
This left one major problem with Pinkie Pie's plan: she lacked the finesse needed to throw a royal party. While she had thrown countless parties in accordance to her special talent, she could not understand why the stuffy nobility would snub streamers, balloons, cake, pin-the-tail-on-the-pony, and all the other usual trappings of a bright and colorful Pinkie Pie party. She needed to somehow throw a party that conveyed style and grace, but how?
Fortunately, they had an expert on their team. Rarity had made style and grace her life's work, and immediately suggested merging her plan to instil generosity with Pinkie Pie's. The pink earth pony could manage the logistics (the catering, supplies, and the like) while the white unicorn could handle the finer details (choosing the entertainment, decor, and such). Out of the collective minds of the two event-driven ponies, a wonderful celebration was sure to bloom.
As for how a lesson of generosity could be brought about, Rarity suggested the oldest trick in the book. The two lovestruck unicorns would be encouraged to find two extremely precious items from their past and give them to each other. They would not be told these were gifts ahead of time, of course, because that would defeat the purpose of learning anything about generosity. The items would simply need to be present, and the two coordinators would try to sway events in such a way as to encourage the exchange.
The conspirators quickly realized that they could make it a theme: bring your most precious item to the party. While most ponies would be anxious to do such a thing, it was one of the favorite themes of Equestrian nobility. What is the point of having unusually precious possessions if they could not flaunt them once in awhile? What safer place than Castle Canterlot itself?
Now, the unicorn and earth pony stood where they had decided their scheme would unfold. The grand ballroom had just recently finished major renovations after a certain accident involving the six Ponyvillian fillies during the last Grand Galloping Gala. It was obvious to both Pinkie Pie and Rarity that this would surely be the grandest place in the entire castle to hold the fancy party.
However, as Rarity put the final touches on the royal decorations about the ballroom, there was clearly something amiss. She was slightly walleyed, perhaps a little too manic, a look she once held when she had been temporarily granted a beautiful pair of wings and the resulting complements went to her head. The trouble may have had to do with locations, and how they have a tendency to bring back memories. It was this very room, after all, that Rarity had first realized what a cad Prince Blueblood was.
Pinkie Pie was a generally excitable pony, but she was always the most excited when she was either throwing a party or about to. Now, she was bouncing happily about the ballroom, her mouth going a mile a minute.
"Hey-Rarity-do-you-remember-that-time-I-was-like-'stage dive!'-and-then-I-did-it-but-just-then-Applejack-was-wheeling-in-a-cart-and-I-hit-it-and-I-was-like-'ouchy wouchy!' (Well-I-didn't-really-say-that-but-I-was-totally-thinking-that.) I-was-okay-but-what-I-didn't-know-is-what-happened-next-and-Prince-Blueblood-was-like, 'No way!' (Well-he-didn't-really-say-that-but-you-know-what-I-mean.) And-so-he-TOTALLY-"
"YES, darling." grated Rarity, twitching slightly. "Oh, how I do remember."
It really did not help that Pinkie Pie was so excited that she forgot she had reminded Rarity already. In fact, this would be the sixth time the unicorn had heard that story since the two began putting their plan in motion. Every single time she was reminded, Rarity had decided to make slight alterations to the plan of the party. At first, just little things like doing a slightly sloppy job on the decor, deliberately using slightly mismatching colors, or getting lackluster party favors; the kinds of things that would not be noticed by most attendees while making Rarity feel better about herself in a passive aggressive sort of way. But that just paved the way to a grand idea that just became more and more compelling as time went along, one that two of her friends had unknowingly played a very important part in...
"Omigosh-Rarity-do-you-know-what-time-it-is-because-I-do! The-guests-will-be-here-like-any-minute-so-we-should-probably-get-out-of-here-because-Celestia-doesn't-want-the-guests-of-honor-to-know-we're-involved-because-if-they-knew-we-were-involved-then-they'd-know-we-were-up-to-something-and-if-they-knew-we-were-up-to-something-it-would-totally-mess-everything-up-I-mean-DUH! So-do-you-think-we're-ready-I-mean-really-really-really-ready-I-do-but-what-do-you-"
"YES, darling." The normally elegant unicorn seethed. "We are most certainly ready."
As the two friends retreated from the ballroom, the chamber orchestra began to set up their equipment. Rarity insisted that it would be the very same performers that had been at the Grand Galloping Gala.
Pinkie Pie's bouncing came to an abrupt halt immediately before she left the ballroom. She looked hard at one of the performers, an unusually elegant gray earth pony mare who played a tall stringed instrument, perhaps a cello or a double-bass. While the coloration seemed slightly off, Pinkie Pie was reminded of someone she knew back on the rock farm so many years ago.
"Hmm... could be... but, nah! I mean, what are the odds?"
As she happily bounced away and, whether she had opted out of a touching reunion or a completely meaningless exchange, it was a mystery tragically lost forever after.
That evening, the ballroom was packed with Equestria's finest and most illustrious. They chatted politely amongst each other about foreign affairs, business, how the family had been since the last time they had seen each other, and a staggering range of completely empty claptrap. The music was perfect, the food was delicious, and the decorations amazing. Many attendees commented that they had never seen such a well-realized event in their lives.
Unseen, Pinkie Pie had been flitting about, desperately trying to correct a few oversights that were visible to her experienced eye alone. She could understand a dish that somehow escaped being seasoned, a conspicuously badly placed decoration, or the occasional concealed scrawling that madly repeated, "Soon soon soon soon soon," but how could they be completely out of napkins?! There was simply no time to investigate: everything seemed to be going wrong!
All Prince Blueblood was noticing was how he was being carefully ignored. Not by Trixie this time as, since the happening at the park, they actually felt like they could look each other in the eyes again. Next to him, she glared at everypony else like they were so much insignificant ants before the magnificence of The Great And Powerful Trixie. It bolstered his spirits; were it not for her towering egotistical presence supporting his own, he might have walked out on the spot.
The couple had not been shuffled off to a dark corner, as he was expecting. No, out of the many tables on the side of the ballroom that had been cordoned off to be the dining area, they had actually been given the one in the very center, with noticeably more distance from all the others. There was even a spotlight shining directly on them!
Under normal circumstances, that hot light would have made these two vain performers of court and stage pleased: it was as if they were rightfully the guests of honor; the stars of any occasion. However, Blueblood knew better, and had decided the arrangement was simply because the other nobleponies wanted clear visibility, so as to be able to better avoid him.
Ever since his aunt had caught him scheming in Ponyville and dragged him all the way back to Canterlot (to the delight of several prominent photographers) his reputation had hit rock bottom throughout known world. Consequently, nopony wanted anything to do with him anymore. He was almost never invited to events like this and, when he was, it would make him suspicious. He doubted he would have come at all if Castle Canterlot were not his home turf or Trixie was not accompanying him.
The couple's attendants were at the event with them. Hans and Fritz had set up a protective perimeter around the unicorns, keeping a close eye on the other guests, just in case one of them decided to try doing something rude to Blueblood. It is not that the guards particularly liked the prince, as he had made them do horrible things in the past, but they had reason to feel a lot more sympathy for him lately. Trixie's head maid, Primrose, was rumored to be a noblepony herself, having chosen to be a maid for reasons only she knew. In events like this, the stately unicorn would be able to demonstrate her linage by mingling flawlessly. Zinnia trailed Primrose fearfully. The fiery-colored little filly was perpetually shy, and was even more nervous with so many other ponies about.
The theme of the party had been about bringing their most precious items. Both of the vain unicorns realized it was likely that the only pony they would be showing theirs to was each other, and had planned accordingly. Amongst their attendants were some very special packages they had been entrusted for the duration of this event: two protective white cardboard boxes, one tucked into a fold in Hans's armor, the other in a custom sleeve artfully concealed in Primrose's dress. Thus far, neither the prince nor the mare magician had found the right time to reveal to each other what they had brought.
Throughout the ballroom, the event had been going so well that it was actually a bit boring; this was yet another high society event of no particular significance. So, when a grim figure wearing a flowing black robe pushed a heavily burdened cart through the service entrance and wheeled it towards the dining area, nopony even took notice. When she decided she was close enough to Prince Blueblood and Trixie, about twelve pony lengths away, she stopped and aligned the cart carefully. Then, inexplicably, she stomped at the ground.
It was an idea that Pinkie Pie had been given by Spike. Though it seemed long ago, it was only about a month now: a special event had been arranged in honor of Prince Blueblood and Rarity: a full fledged Ponyvillain block party! One thing lead to another, and the unfortunate baby dragon had found himself knocked unconscious. As the pink earth pony lay on the floor rubbing her chin, she witnessed the incredible thing as it happened, and found herself enraptured in fascination. She knew that, if only she were to swap out that heavy metal pan for something harmless, it would be a great way to end a party!
Thus, this very cart that had been so painstakingly positioned by the dark cloaked figure was Pinkie Pie's newest invention: Equestria's first fully functional concealed cake catapult! The figure had not merely stomped at the ground, but rather had hit the hidden lever that launched it into action. It worked flawlessly, spiraling the cake majestically through the air at its intended target: Prince Blueblood and Trixie. The prince's guards were caught completely unaware, and the cake smashed directly into the surprised unicorns with a resounding wet smack!
The cake itself was an elaborate many-tiered cake that Rarity had asked Applejack to make, insisting it be very similar to a certain one at the Grand Galloping Gala. Identical, except that this one would be even larger, gooier, and stickier than the original confection. Though the farm pony did not know it, her recipe was being repurposed for one goal: this was to be the cake that could permanently stain the heavens!
Her dastardly deed accomplished, the cloaked figure reared back dramatically, white forelegs escaping concealment as she cackled, "Wha ha ha! The Phantom Mare always gets her revenge!" Before anypony could stop her, her horn glowed and a sudden bright flash blinded everypony. There was the sound of hooves dashing from the room. When everypony could see again, she was gone!
Except for the muffled sound of two unicorns struggling under frosting, the ballroom was dead silent. The nobility was stunned. The chamber orchestra had stopped in mid-chord. Even the trained guardsponies were struggling to make sense of what just happened. The Phantom Mare had stolen the show; everypony wanted to know who that blacked robed figure really was. Later, those who claimed to catch a fleeting glimpse under that cowl stated that she concealed her face with a decidedly feminine-looking Colt Fawkes mask.
Miserably, Blueblood and Trixie labored free of the cake and into the bright spotlight. As they gasped for a much-needed breath of fresh air, they saw countless nobleponies from the highest stations of Equestria all about them: staring at them, unable to pry their eyes away. The faces portrayed a wide range of emotions, shock and pity among them, but by far the most common was barely contained mirth. These two insufferably vain ponies had been given, if not the greatest humiliation ever faced by any pony on the face of Equestria, then certainly a close runner up.
The prince was already an international laughingstock, and he felt that feeling again as strong as ever... but he was no longer alone. A noise from next to him attracted his gaze away from the onlookers. The Great And Powerful Trixie was neither great nor powerful now. Her cake-smeared face was scrunched in sadness, eyes streaming tears, little sobbing hiccups escaping her as they managed to find holes in the shattered shield of her normally indomitable pride.
Prince Blueblood was furious. "HANS!" he commanded. The guardspony never heard the prince sound so authoritative as he did just now, and jumped to his presence immediately. The cake-spattered stallion's horn was instantly aglow, snatching a small box from the guard's possession, savagely tearing it open, and deftly catching a cloth from mid air as it emerged.
As Trixie felt it brush up against her cheeks, she identified it immediately. It was the platinum embroidered handkerchief given to the prince by his father; an irreplaceable memento. To Blueblood, it was more precious than any of his countless trophies, and now it was being stained, probably permanently, in a desperate effort to stop her tears.
It worked: Trixie was so astonished, her sadness and humiliation were overpowered completely. Then she noticed that her maid Primrose, brilliant Primrose, had stepped into her view, dropping a somewhat larger box before her. Without a moment's hesitation, the mare magician's telekinesis pulled from the box a very familiar purple starred cloak.
Though she had first obtained the cloak when she started her performance career, it was not an easy acquisition. She had to work for months in order to cobble together enough bits for it. When she had earned it at last, it was the banner that told her that her luck had turned around at last, and that was the first time she truly felt great or powerful.
Trixie had tore the diamond clasp from her cloak and was now using the cloth to return the prince's gesture, wiping the cake off of him. Blueblood knew all about that cloak's history, of course, and was touched. In that sticky mess they were sitting, the two unicorns stopped what they doing to exchange a tender, reassuring embrace. It was the first time they had ever done such a thing.
Unbeknownst to those in attendance, the hidden agenda of this event had been to get Blueblood and Trixie to demonstrate generosity and kindness. Somehow, despite all that had gone wrong, it had succeeded brilliantly. Seeing it, many of the nobleponies felt ashamed at their earlier behavior. Some of them even resolved to speak well of the prince, to attempt to restore part of the the reputation he had once lost. However, all in attendance agreed, it would be best to see themselves silently out.
Hidden in the shadowed corner behind a far pillar, an earth pony watched them go. The party had lasted barely an hour. She fumed darkly, her eyes glowing, vengeful slits that peered through a crack in the hair that hid most of her face. That hair came from the luxuriously smooth silken mane that hung long from about her head. She now ran a forehoof through it. Its lavish embrace whispered to her. Somepony had ruined her best, most elaborate party ever. Nopony does that to her. NO! PONY! Somepony was going to pay, Pinkamina Diane Pie style!
The remaining conspirators were worried. Yes, they had successfully instilled the sentiment of three of the Elements of Harmony in The Great And Powerful Trixie and Prince Blueblood. But at what cost? Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie had gone missing! Princess Celestia had sent her finest guards to find them but, so far, none of them had returned. This boded very poorly.
Nevertheless, they bravely decided to continue with the plan. They reasoned that, by delivering the final two of the basic five elements, they could then focus on finding the missing ponies. So while Princess Celestia attended to statecraft, Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike searched. That would leave Rainbow Dash and Applejack to go about enacting the plan they had come up with to instill loyalty and honesty.
It was no surprise that the flier and the grounder had decided to merge their plans: they had been inseparable, doing absolutely everything together, since they had come to their secret agreement. Twilight Sparkle was immediately suspicious, but Rainbow Dash assured her that Applejack was merely uncomfortable in the castle and so she had offered to be her constant companion to reassure her. It was true, insofar as a failure to disclose all details can be. Princess Celestia said that she thought that what pegasus was doing was inspiring, and had a hammock installed above Applejack's bed so that she could be "reassuring" even as she slept. The earth pony knew why the cunning monarch did it, and was grateful despite the subterfuge involved: thanks to her flying friend's constant vigilance, she had felt none of those terrifying temptations she felt on the first day.
That was then. Now, the apple bucker looked noticeably agitated as she and her friend regarded themselves in the large mirror on one side of the room that the fillies had been assigned to live in during the mission.
"AJ, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Rainbow Dash was wearing a false mustache and a fancy tuxedo, and was now carefully balancing a top hat on her head. Her rainbow mane had been dyed (or, rather, temporarily magicked) black.
"No, partner, I'm not. But I reckon we ain't got a choice!" She had learned that her ever-present cognitive dissonance was briefly staved off whenever she confided in her friend.
Applejack was wearing an elaborate noblewoman's dress with a noticeably plunging neckline (although exactly what that was supposed to reveal was anypony's guess). Though Rarity had gone missing, the two alicorn princesses had stepped up to coordinate the farm pony's outfit and perform a lavish makeover, and their collective centuries of experience nearly matched the fashionista's obsession with grace and style. This was only accentuated with the jewelery they lent her: bright earrings and necklaces, even a diamond-entrusted monocle!
There was no doubt about it: Applejack was dressed to kill.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," said the pegasus as she tried out a few brawny poses in the mirror. "I mean, how else are we going make them realize how faithful they are?" She glanced at the forehoof she bore a expensive stallion's watch on. (No pencil-drawn facsimile necessary!) "Omigosh! I gotta go! Knock em' dead, AJ!"
With that, Rainbow Dash did what she did best, only a blur signaling she had left the room. For the first time in what felt like weeks, Applejack was alone, and that sense of freedom brought all those old temptations back. But she was ready for them, perspiring slightly as she kept a close eye on her mind. Carefully, she tried to justify what she was about to do as being the most honest way to go about it. It made little difference: she knew that this plan would require layers upon layers of highly advanced lies. "Well," reckoned the earth pony, "this wouldn't be the first time I had to get my hooves dirty to get some hard work done."
Applejack practiced in the mirror. Thinking back to her Manehattenite days and the manner of speaking she was taught then, she did a dignified little pose and said, "How do you do?"
The farm pony had to pick herself up off the floor after that, as what she saw in the mirror was so hilarious it put her in stitches. There was nothing wrong with it, per se, but it was just so unlike her! It was surprising just how quickly those old skills came back.
Resetting a few hairs that had strayed from her elegantly styled blonde mane, the tawny earth pony tried again. "I say, it is simply a marvelous day, isn't it?" She laughed again, but it was not quite as pronounced, she was definitely getting it out of her system.
Admiring herself in the mirror in a new light, Applejack suddenly thought up an excellent fake name. "Lady Applebuck," stated the gorgeous mare looking back from the mirror, "I do believe that foalish prat won't know what hit him." She smiled: this might be fun, after all.
Prince Blueblood sat upon his bed, mind thinking back to the incredible thing that happened the other day. He and Trixie, the center of everpony's attention, actually being openly affectionate! They had knocked down the wall of not being publicly seen together so resoundingly that he did not know what they would do next! Oh, it made him so excited! He might have been feeling... dare he say it? A little randy.
Steps would need to be taken immediately. Thinking about that, he was simply too nervous to sleep. Knowing this, he had just sent Hans and Fritz out to collect a glass of water from the kitchen and a little something to help him to sleep from the infirmary. He would need to be as well-rested and alert as possible tomorrow.
There was a knock at the door. Ah, that would be the guards now. "Come in."
The door was thrown back as though somepony had kicked it, and his eyes took in a terrifying sight. There, leaning back against the door frame, was a tawny earth pony with a gorgeous blonde mane, stunningly presented, her white freckles accentuating her diamond monocle perfectly. As a stallion who had himself been tasked to romance countless young mares in the name of diplomatic relations, he knew exactly what he was looking at: a smoldering temptress in full assault.
The sight caused him to fall off the opposite side of his bed, not knowing what hit him. Cautiously, he peered over the side of his bedding, verifying he saw what he thought he saw. It did not occur to him that he may be looking at Applejack: that simple farm hick was nothing at all like this!
"I do hope I am not unwelcome," breathed the mare at the door invitingly, "I would so hate to be alone this evening." With that, she dropped to her hooves and strut in the room, swishing her tail behind her distractingly.
"Why, not at all, my dear." answered the prince automatically, sheer muscle memory causing him to climb gracefully to his hooves and meet her in the middle of the room. It should be stressed that Prince Blueblood was remarkably experienced in these matters, having been ambushed by hundreds of mares who dreamed of bagging a dashing prince. Could it be that he still had an admirer even after his complete disgrace? Inwardly, the prince was panicking: none of those mares had the advantage of catching him in the mood he was in tonight.
The coy little smile never left the mare's lips as she surveyed the prince's room. Against the far wall, a cozy little fireplace burned, the light from the flames flickering against the surface of hundreds of old trophies the prince kept in racks along the walls. The illumination somehow made the bed seem particularly inviting. What an idyllic spot for a night of burning passion. The prince was sitting in a trap and Lady Applebuck knew it. But how to spring that trap?
She caught sight of a small stack of papers on a desk next to the prince's bed and slyly asked, "Working late, my prince?"
Blueblood's heart jumped. He loved Trixie, but this noblemare was physical perfection, even smelling like a fresh orchard; it was as if her toned body had been bucking apple trees most her life. At the back of his mind, a naughty, primordial voice told him that if he did not take advantage of this opportunity, he would never get another chance like this again. In his very veins, the old conflagration that was Trixie lost some ground, facing a new fire raging from the back of his skull.
While all this was going on, the dusty old romancing scripts the prince had laying about his head had found their way to his mouth. "I do my very best work at night, my dear," he smoothly transitioned, "would you care to take a look?" He beckoned with his horn to his desk, inviting the mare up next to his bed.
"It would be my pleasure." dripped the mare's voice as she sashayed up to look at the paperwork. Skimming them, she looked intrigued, "Oh, my, I did not expect a big, strong stallion like you would be tasked to do anything like this!" She turned to him and placed a forehoof on his shoulder, pushing him back towards the bed. To the prince, that hoof felt like a red-hot brand, a point of contact that caused the new flame within him to burn even brighter, gaining even more ground on the path to his heart.
Instinctively, he wore a perfect rakish expression; a prop he had refined over the years. "I've never had a complaint yet, my dear." It was a half-truth. The full truth was that the prince had never given in to temptation. With every noblemare he had courted, there was a strong line never to be crossed. Otherwise, there would be embarrassments that the royal crown of Equestria could never live down. He had been drilled to respect that line by every instructor he had faced since he was a colt; he was able to break hearts with military precision whenever it was time to cut a relationship short.
Suddenly, his attacker neatly vaulted that precious line. The mare darted forward and delivered several light kisses, her hot lips lighting new little fires everywhere within him as it danced across one of his cheeks. The prince gasped and his legs became weak. The mare shoved him, causing him to topple backwards onto the bed without her. He stared off into space, rather happily dazed, that primordial voice whispering to him that it would be okay to bend the rules just this once; that there was a first time for everything.
This stupor made him lose track of time but, after an indeterminable pause, the mare joined him on that bed, laying her chest up against his. There was simply no personal space left. She pinned his forelegs down with hers, surprisingly strong. He was face-to-face, his vision blurring in euphoria as it took in that flushed freckled visage. Her snout was so very close that the hot heavy exhalation from her breath was an apple alcohol scented perfume that intoxicated him even as it fanned his inner flames into an inferno that obscured all else.
He knew that he had lost; he was wrapped around this mare's hoof now, and would be little more than her helpless plaything. Yet, some little nagging worry distracted the prince. He tried to put a hoof on it. There was something wrong with what he was looking at, he realized. This gorgeous mare's face, its sparkling eyes like the reflection off dark pools of passion... it was completely, unforgivably off. But how?
Then it hit him. The trouble was that this face wasn't Trixie's. That new flame died instantly, replaced by the one he had all along. He was suddenly revolted.
"Get off me!" he barked, rolling over and kicking the mare off the bed.
From the side of the bed nearest to the door, the temptress climbed gracefully her hooves from where she had sprawled and smirked flawlessly at him. "Your loss, handsome." And, with that, she sashayed through that door and out of his life.
The prince felt a strong sense of primordial regret seeing that magnificent rump vanish behind the door frame, but it was overshadowed by the relief from the rest of him. He would never have forgiven himself if he had fallen into the trap of that floozy! He closed the door with his telekinesis and sat on his bed for a few minutes, catching his breath, wondering at what may have been.
There was another knock at the door, and the prince was so grateful that his guards were back that he went to greet them. But on the other side of the door was neither Hans nor Fritz. No, it was no less than The Great And Powerful Trixie herself. She was panting heavily, as though she had galloped to the door of his room. Had she somehow sensed how close he had come to being unfaithful to her?
Apparently not. "Oh, my prince!" she cried, so rattled that she forgot all pretense of third person speaking, "When the maids went on break, a mad mare broke into my room! I think she... she was trying to seduce me! And, to make matters worse, she was so... so very... bad at it! It was terrible!"
Blueblood was once again comforting Trixie in an embrace as she dried her tears against his chest. He was thinking furiously: it was just too much of a coincidence to ignore! Of course, if he were to tell her that he had narrowly escaped being seduced himself, then what would she think of him?
Yet, as he held Trixie out before him and looked down into those quivering eyes and quibbling lip, he realized something even more important: she had just gone through the same mental conflict when she had decided to confide in him. Something in his noble lineage, largely overwritten by the tenants of the arrogant foal he had always been, slipped to the top of his consciousness, and told him that it would be wrong to keep the truth to himself.
"Darling," spoke the prince from his heart - it was the first time he had dared use that label with Trixie, "I have a confession to make." Her breath caught, her eyes fearful. "Immediately before you arrived, a mare was here. She, too, attempted to seduce me. And..." his voice broke, "she very nearly succeeded!"
Trixie recoiled and turned away, hiding her face from the prince. She had smelled a strange mare on that chest, and now she knew why. Blueblood turned into his room, his horn glowing, fumbling for something within. When the mare magician had turned to face the prince again, her breath caught in her throat at what she saw.
Prince Blueblood had bowed before her on one knee, an elaborate engagement ring about his horn, adorned with the very diamond she had torn from her favorite cloak. "Darling," he said again, "tonight I learned that I could never look at another mare the way I do you. May I have your hoof in marriage?" There was no witnesses, so it would be nothing official, but he meant it.
The Great And Powerful Trixie's tears were gone immediately. She lit up and exalted, "Yes!"
The sound of shattering glass to Blueblood's right interrupted the tender moment between the two unicorns. In the hall were Hans and Fritz, standing there slack jawed in amazement. Judging by the shards of glass in the puddle nearby, Hans had apparently dropped the glass of water on the floor. The sound of clapping to Blueblood's left found Primrose and Zinnia standing in the opposite direction in the hall, smiling and applauding (even the normally unmovable Primrose).
It seems they had witnesses, after all, and one of them was even rumored to a noblemare. They would need to inform the princesses in the morning: their engagement was now official. Not known to any of them, opposite of the door leading to Blueblood's room, out that hallway window and in the night air, sat another witness that would likely reach the princesses before them.
Concealed on that ledge was Rainbow Dash.
Trixie had not been impressed with the pegasus's attempts to seduce her. Knowing that this could have potentially messed up the whole scheme to test her loyalty, the flying athlete simply responded by trying to act even more macho and aggressive. The jock approach clashed horribly with her outfit, as it was attempting to pass her off as a gentlecolt, and Trixie had seen her true gender immediately anyway. (Would a lesbian approach have worked better? No matter.)
Once Trixie had fled her room, the Rainbow Dash took wing and flew here in order to check on how things were going with her friend Applejack. She arrived only moments before the mare magician had made her way to Blueblood's door, and (after fuming over how Trixie had bad talked her) the pegasus was pleased to hear that her failed seduction had been rewarded with a tearful confession: an honest and loyal thing to do, if anything was.
Now, having been moved by the tender moment of what followed, Rainbow Dash dried her tears with her forelegs, desperately trying to avoid making noises that would compromise her position. She knew that the plan was an outstanding success. The two conspirators were only planning on being rejected and getting the two unicorns to confess that they had been approached (the farm pony uncharacteristically suggesting forging correspondence to goad the couple into confiding in each other if they did not on their own). Never in their wildest dreams would they have imagined that the couple would have proposed to each other on the spot! Applejack would be thrilled!
Remembering her friend, the pegasus had a sudden thought. Where was Applejack, anyway? Oh no! Instantly, she vanished into the moonlit night, her furious search begun.
A building of many rooms such a Castle Canterlot inevitably has a several rooms of no assigned occupants, sometimes repurposed to be store rooms. Now, deep within the castle, one such room had been infiltrated.
A dim light from a freshly-lit candle illuminated what the thief lay out before her. Though Lady Applebuck had been willing to go as far as she needed in order to cover her tracks, she was glad that she did not have to. After all, that revolting oaf did not deserve the honor of being her first! However, a lady of her sophistication has advanced tastes, and concealing the theft of this prize would have been worth it.
She had no idea why the prince had them, and she did not care. But, the instant she recognized what she was looking at, she knew that she had to have them. So she cleverly stunned that fop and pushed him backwards onto his bed. As he lay there writhing in the grasp of her poisonous influence, she snatched up the papers that lay on the desk beside his bed and concealed them in her dress.
On the papers, scrolled in the fine intricate details of expert scribeponies, was no less than the plans to the royal treasury itself! All the entrances, all the exits, all the security measures, all the guard rotation schedules, and more! She could not believe her luck! This was the perfect tool to facilitate the greatest heist in Equestrian history!
The noblewoman had already conceived an elaborate plan, each deception more clever than the last. She knew that this job would need to be executed quickly, before anypony had a chance to realize the plans were missing and take the appropriate measures. In the morning, she would pawn the jewelery she had been lent in order to buy the equipment she needed. Then, the only thing left would be to find a patsy to pin the blame on. By tomorrow evening, she would be making history.
Before it was snuffed out, the flickering flame of the candle revealed a tawny freckled face personifying greed itself. There would be no saggy old things where she was going. Soon, she would be living in a gold-plated palace of her own!
Celestia was a fool. To think that she would dare try to capture the majesty of Equestria in one elaborate castle garden?! An example of nearly every flora and fauna had been imported and, through meddling pony magic, slaved to the land within. It was a perversion of the natural order that needed to be rectified!
The savior of the wilds had shown the animals the way. Now, the toucan were can dos. The loons were looney for freedom. The bitterns had reason to be bitter. The hummingbirds hummed only in anger. The buzzards buzzed in frustration. The blue jays, red jays, green jays, pink jays, and pink flamingos had united under one cause despite centuries old prejudices. The animals who were still loyal to the royals would soon find their will broken.
Even now, nature's savior fumed from atop an ivy throne from deep within the castle garden, her eyes' cruel slits reflecting the midnight moon. The pegasus had not bathed in days, her normally cream yellow coat had become matted with filth, her pink mane wild and laced with sticks and brambles. She did not care; she had larger concerns. After all, hers was the iron hoof that would shatter the arrogance of the usurpers of nature!
Amongst her court were a dozen terrified former royal guardsponies. They had been overwhelmed almost instantly by her animal shock troops, and went down in a hail of rodents. She had given them a simple choice, "Join her or perish (if that's alright with you)." Celestia had chosen her guards well; none surrendered willingly. However, rather than follow through with her threat, she had a better idea. She applied "the stare." Even now, the guards staggered unevenly on their hooves, the sheer force of those eyes haunting their every waking moment.
Her domination of the royal gardens was almost complete; nearly all within had fallen under her control. However, there was one prize she still desired, somewhere within the walls of the castle itself. A creature that undoubtedly would be under the sway of nature's usurper: an immortal phoenix, the fiery bird being the royal pet of the sun bringer herself. If Philomena, this most loyal of animals, fell under the savior's influence, then the domination of the Equestrian animal world would be assured, and the new order could begin.
The figure on the ivy throne barked an order to her head assistant, "Prepare the troops!"
"Sounds good to me!" quipped the happy-go-lucky groundskeeper. The wrinkly old brown pony continued tidying the grounds, whistling while he worked.
He offered no resistance, but sometimes she wondered if he really knew he had been subjugated. No matter. "Tomorrow night, we march!"
Though it was early morning, it was still dark outside, and well before the opening hours at the Canterlot opera house. So none were there to notice the dark robed figure as she slinked through the empty auditorium seats in the direction of the opera pit.
There, the elaborate pipe organ beckoned to her. Reaching it at last, she sat upon the organist's seat and rose her white hooves majestically from their concealment. Then she brought them down dramatically upon the keyboard before her, channeling her inner torment through it.
It was a rather basic version of Chopsticks. When she was finished, she frowned beneath that Colt Fawkes mask. She really would have to learn how to play the organ better if she was going to properly brood.
A subtle sound from behind her drew her attention. She spun on the organist's seat to see a mare in a skintight gray jumpsuit had dropped from a skylight in the auditorium ceiling with the aid of a hemp rope.
"Who dares interrupt the torment of The Phantom Mare?!" demanded the robed figure, confronting the invader.
The newcomer was wearing a mask that obscured all but her mouth and eyes, the exposed areas' color indistinguishable in the low light. So also was the color of her forehooves that escaped the skintight suit (perhaps to aid in fine manipulation). The only thing that caught enough light to hint at her identity was the long blonde mane that was tied into a ponytail.
"Please," the voice was that of an elegant noblemare, "you may call me Lady Applebuck." She strut up to the phantom as though she was trying to seduce it. As though she was trying to seduce everything everywhere she went, really.
The phantom was not aroused, but rather impressed. "I can tell you are a mare of refinement, but how ever did you find me?"
"I had an inkling." Lady Applebuck was coy. Here was a mare who believed her cunning scheming had accounted for everything. "As for why I am here, I have a proposition for you."
"The Phantom Mare has no need for your propositions! But... seeing how you have found me, I will hear you out."
The earth pony in the skin suit sat, facing that phantom, idly blowing on her polished hooves as she spoke. "How would you like to be rich beyond your wildest dreams?"
"Ha!" The unicorn scoffed. "I have no need for riches, only revenge!" Her voice rose at the end, and she reared back dramatically into a menacing pose.
The earth pony was unmoved. "Very well. Then how would you like to see that Blueblood foal turned into a miserable pauper?"
The phantom recoiled into a dramatic crouch before leaning forward conspiratorially, "Tell me more, darling."
As the morning light began to stream into the room, Rainbow Dash was in hysterics. "I can't believe I let her out of my sight! That was so uncool! Gilda was right, I'm so lame! I'm useless! I could never join the Wonderbolts! My life is ruined!" she cried, and then crouched into a little shivering ball of cowardice.
Sitting at the table of the fillies' room with her was Princess Celestia. After removing the enchantment that dyed that rainbow mane, she had been keeping the guilt-ridden pegasus company for a few hours now. "You must not blame yourself dear," she was telling her.
"Who else can I blame?!" raged the flier, "She told me that she needed my help. But they all needed my help! I let all my best gal pals down!" She stood and spread her wings. "I'll run away, that's what I'll do! Don't try to stop me!"
"And you would abandon my faithful student, just like that?"
The pegasus sat. She put her head on the table, covered it on her forehooves, and was silent. This signaled the end of a cycle that had repeated itself several times, with little variations here and there. (The princess had learned quite a bit about this "Gilda," an old griffin friend that the flier had met back in flight school that had since fallen to criminal ways.)
While the immortal alicorn could afford to be infinitely patient, she could see that her efforts were only barely keeping the pegasus's emotional nosedive in check, and so she wished that Twilight Sparkle would return soon. Though Spike was already sleeping in his little bed nearby, his partner-in-service-to-Celestia had been searching for the missing ponies with Princess Luna ever since Fluttershy's disappearance. Whenever another pony went missing, they would only redouble their efforts, and it had proven too exhausting for the baby dragon to continue assisting them.
One of the double-doors to the room opened, and the monarch found her most pressing wish granted. In walked the exhausted purple unicorn, bags noticeably beneath her eyes. Princess Luna followed, closing the door behind her. While sleep is little more than a meditative luxury for an alicorn, mortal ponies are not so lucky, and it was clear that lack of sleep had taken a great toll on Twilight Sparkle.
Rainbow Dash had not noticed their entrance, as she was consumed in her own thoughts and also ravaged with fatigue from all the energy she had burnt trying to find Applejack all through the night. Twilight Sparkle saw that her friend was no longer accompanied by the farm pony, and knew something had happened immediately. Casting a quick glance to their alcove to confirm her worries, she quietly trotted up next to the pegasus and put a foreleg around her shoulders.
The pegasus noticed her then, and began to blubber, "Twilight, I lost her. I hate losing! I just looked the other way for a few minutes and..."
Twilight stared into her normally energetic friend's mournful eyes and told her firmly, "It's not your fault."
The pegasus looked at her wide eyed in response. That was the same thing Celestia had been telling her, but it seemed to have a lot more impact coming from Twilight Sparkle. She sat and pouted, "If you say so, Twilight, but I still think I could have done something."
"Ya think?" Twilight Sparkle's voice was sarcastic, comedically prodding the pegasus, who responded with a little grin. "You beat yourself up enough, Rainbow, go get some rest."
"Okay." said Rainbow Dash, then she brightened, "Oh, hey! Did you hear that Blueblood and Trixie are engaged now? I was there! It was so awesome!"
"That's great news! After we rest up, we can focus on finding the others!"
"Yup!" Then the pegasus yawned. "Well, I'm going to get some shuteye. I'll see you later!" Rather than sleep in the comfortable bed in her own alcove, she flew up into her hammock above Applejack's bed, and promptly began to snore.
Twilight watched her go and rolled her eyes at her choice in bedding, "Oh, Rainbow." Then she turned back to the table and found that Princess Luna had taken up a seat opposite of Celestia; Twilight now had an alicorn on either side of her.
"My faithful student," Celestia's voice was gentle, "you have done a excellent job of reassuring your friend. But do you truly believe that your other friends will return?"
The unicorn looked at her mentor only briefly before replying. "I do, princess. When I left Ponyville, I was worried how they would feel about all of this. But I soon learned that I was wrong to think my friends would ever abandon me. Whether I find them, or they will find me, I know we'll be together again soon."
Ever since she was a filly, Celestia's praise had always made Twilight Sparkle blush in pleasure. "I'm so proud of you for learning to never lose faith in your friends. I am certain you are right."
"Thank you, princess." she said gratefully.
Princess Luna spoke, "Twilight, I think that you should know: your mission here is complete. Just as soon as you rejoin your friends, you're free to return to Ponyville to resume your studies on the magic of friendship."
Having turned to the younger alicorn, the unicorn was overjoyed even through her fatigue, "That is good news! To be honest, when I saw this room, I sort of thought you planned to keep us here forever. Nothing personal, the castle is great and all, but me and my friends are a lot more comfortable in Ponyville!"
The two regal sisters exchanged a little glance. Celestia turned to the unicorn and said, "Your intuition serves you well, my faithful student." Twilight was understandably surprised, so the monarch continued, "Of course, you all would be allowed to visit Ponyville whenever you wished. However, I had thought that having the bearers of the Elements of Harmony here would be useful for quickly assigning you and your friends to addressing discord wherever it may appear. I have since decided that you are all a bit too young yet, and should enjoy that youth, so that you may develop into strong, mature mares. I hope you do not think I am speaking ill of them."
"Not at all." The unicorn was smiling again. "In fact, I look forward to it. To the good times we will have in Ponyville and knowing that we will be together again even after that."
"Of course," amended Celestia, "you may be asked to assist us in emergencies from time to time even from Ponyville."
"We'll be there." came the immediate reply.
Princess Luna changed the subject. "Speaking of which, will you be attending the nephew and Trixie's wedding, Twilight? We've decided it's best if they get married right away in a private ceremony."
"I don't know how they would feel about that, but I'd like to. When is it?"
"This evening." The tone sounded slightly ominous.
"I don't know, princess." she said, before taking a laborious yawn, "If I go to bed right away, I might be able to make it, but it's kinda hard to say."
Celestia smiled and said, "We understand." The alicorns climbed to their hooves.
Twilight Sparkle took the hint and walked over to her alcove. Casting a warm glance at Spike before she pulled the curtains aside, she climbed into her bed.
"Goodnight, my faithful student."
Luna chipped in, "I'll do my best, sister!" It was a running joke that had recently been resumed after a millennia lull.
"You do realize it is actually morning, do you not, sister?"
"Of course, silly!"
As they conversed, the two regal sisters were using their telekinesis to dim the lights and pull the shades before they left the room.
Princess Celestia sat on her favorite cushions in the royal study, alone. Though it was noon, the room was dark; the fireplace was out and the lights had been dimmed. She did not seem to be resting or occupying herself with any particular task. She was merely waiting.
A humorless voice emerged from the shadows, "Commissioner."
Celestia smiled, not bothering to look. "I was hoping you would show up." For whatever reason it was used, the title was technically true, as being the High Commissioner of Equestria was just one of many duties Princess Celestia took upon herself.
No answer seemed to be forthcoming, so the commissioner continued, "How goes the investigation?"
"Good. My contacts have been keeping me up to date with their movements."
"What have you learned?"
"Rocky may be a bit rough about the edges, but he has friends all around the castle garden. Your guards are safe, but Ivy Meanie moves tonight to wrest the phoenix from your grasp."
"I thought as much. And Lady Applebuck?"
"Madame LaFlour was undercover in the storeroom she took the plans to, and saw the whole thing. It was dee-spicable, but your ploy worked: she'll be there. But something unexpected happened."
"The Phantom Mare?"
"Do not take my nemesis as lightly as Lady Applebuck has, commissioner. Sir Lints-A-Lot has received a report from a fellow Knight of the Under Table who was posted in the Canterlot opera house. The cat burglar pony has contacted the Phantom Mare, believing she has found the perfect patsy to help her with her plan. But she has only outsmarted herself if she thinks she can dupe the Masquerading Diva of Selfishness."
"They have teamed up? That could be a problem."
"Perhaps, but it gets worse. Mr. Turnip knows everything that happens underground, and he reports that the two criminal masterminds have managed to amass a considerable number of Diamond Dog goons."
"That is indeed an issue." Celestia remembered the Diamond Dogs. They were dog-like creatures that stood upright. They were sentient, but not very good at it. Chaotic? Yes. Evil? More like stupid. But she could see how their lust for jewels and possession of high-pitched hearing would allow the two criminal masterminds to keep a tight leash on them.
It was unknown just how large the Diamond Dog's underground kingdom was, and Celestia needed to know if she would be facing an invasion. "How many?"
"I counted to four in six groups. Four more than twenty, which is as many as two tens."
"I'll take that into consideration." The commissioner ran some mental calculations. "I can make some adjustments, but this will be risky. You know how it goes."
"Oh, I know how it goes, alright."
Something about her tone made Celestia wonder if she had angered her informant. "Can I count on your help to bring these criminals to justice?"
"Yes."
It was a relief: she did not know if she could do it without her. The commissioner confided, "We have come a long way, my friend, but this dark night is about to come to an end."
However, when she had turned to the shadows, she discovered that her visitor had left. The alicorn frowned. "I hate it when she does that."
A monarch who raises the sun each day is about as close to divinity as a society of ponies need. So it is that, at the request of anypony, Princess Celestia was only too happy to personally unite couples in her throne room. Indeed, considering that Castle Canterlot had so many stained glass windows and white walls, it was not too far removed to suggest it was a church of sorts. But to call it a house of god? The princesses really preferred to play down that as much as possible: there was hardly a point to a castle that the pony subjects would fear to tread.
Very little was needed to convert the throne room to the wedding occasion. The altar, of course, would be the raised throne dais itself. The aisle, the long court before it. Decorations need only consist of a few white streamers and other floral trappings. Perhaps the greater bulk of the heavy lifting was having the work ponies bring in some portable pews, but even this was significantly reduced: since this would be a private service, there were not many seats required. A few refreshment tables had been set out behind the pews for the inevitable post-service loitering.
Prince Blueblood wore a groom's tuxedo: not far from his usual mode of dress, but the colors were inverted, white on black instead of black on white. Trixie, on the other hand, had decided to wear a long flowing bride's dress that had been specially designed. True, most mares would prefer it be a pristine white, an affirmation of virginal traits. However, the mare magician would dare anyone suggest otherwise, and had her wedding dress customized in the purple starred design of her favorite cape and hat. She even wore her wizard's hat instead of a veil! The ensemble came together making her resemble less a bride and more some sort of great and powerful sorceress... but, for some reason, that just made the prince feel even luckier to have her at his side.
Their ever-present attendants were not completely present. Hans had been designated the best stallion. Secretly, he and Fritz had drawn straws for the honor, and Hans lost. Fritz now stood off to one side of the throne performing security detail while Hans trailed the prince that had brought so much misery to the both of them over the years. Primrose volunteered to be Trixie's bridesmaid. The mare magician had learned that when when her no-nonsense head maid volunteered for something, it was as good as an unbreakable order, but could not complain at the tact and professionalism she did the bridesmaid position. Zinnia, however, was absent. Primrose explained that the shy little filly was too nervous for occasions like this, and (oddly) that this was not at all a ploy intended to keep the her out of harm's way. Both statements were true.
To facilitate the private service, the throne room was closed to the public that evening, and the attendees had already taken their places. In normal circumstances, the blushing bride and aspiring groom would be nervous... but this was no ordinary couple. Though Trixie and Blueblood had learned much about being better ponies lately, even had a significant amount of their pride knocked out of them by an abject humiliation of the highest order, they were still vain performers at heart who relished being the stars of the show. Now, they just wanted to get on with it, and stood about impatiently as their immediate family members (including the wrinkled gray unicorn that was Blueblood's mother) looked on from the pews.
Given that she was the primary reigning monarch, it would only be appropriate if Princess Celestia would be the one to swear the couple in to matrimony. However, while Princess Luna was in attendance, her older sister was not. So the whole procession had come to a rather abrupt halt, waiting for her appearance. While they waited, Blueblood idly joked to Trixie that, while his aunt could not be there, at least her pet bird could.
Sure enough, there was Philomena in a golden cage hanging directly above the throne, the sleek phoenix idly preening its feathers.
"Dig faster, dogs!" shouted The Phantom Mare.
"We're digging as fast as we can!" cried Rover, "Stop whining!"
"I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you wish to hear whining?"
"No!" cried Spot, "Anything but that! Dig faster, brothers, faster!"
Then, at the end of the tunnel, two criminal masterminds and two dozen desperately digging Diamond Dogs found that they had struck castle wall.
"Marvelous!" shouted the sly noblepony, "Now stand back, curs, this will only take a moment." Lady Applebuck peeled back the protective layer from a thin stone rune tile she carried and attached to the wall with only a little pressure. She kicked it, and the rune began to flicker. All living creatures in the tunnel ran away from it as quickly as possible.
The magical explosive charge worked as advertised, blowing the wall outwards while simultaneously suppressing all noise such a massive explosion should have made. Cautiously, the intruders approached the newly made hole.
Lady Applebuck was the first through, and cast her gaze about the stone chamber, wringing her hands in barely contained greed. According to the map, this would be a rarely-used chamber directly behind the secret royal treasury, just a floor below the throne room itself! She turned back towards the cave and shouted to to the rest of them.
"What are you waiting for, foals?! The coast is clea-."
And then she vanished, pulled up out of the view by unseen forces.
Even behind a mask that did the job for her, The Phantom Mare was smiling. "She's here! Fan out! Find her!" She bucked the nearest Diamond Dog before her, attracting a hurt look, but they followed her orders knowing that she meant business.
As the remaining mastermind stepped into the chamber, she looked straight up and clucked her tongue. There was Lady Applebuck, stuck to the ceiling and gagged with what looked to be an amazingly gooey looking set of cinnamon buns, struggling but to no avail.
The Phantom Mare marveled madly at what she saw, "Wherever does she get such marvelous confections?"
A humorless voice from the dark directly in front of her spoke. "Give it up, Phantom Mare."
In response, the unicorn's horn began to glow, and suddenly every torch in the chamber was lit.
Crouching at the opposite end of the chamber was her adversary. Like Lady Applebuck, this mare wore a skintight suit, but this one was of radically different design. It was dull green, suitable to conceal her in a dark room, with supple reinforced armor pads clearly visible beneath the fabric in key locations on her body. As the mask this mare wore used some kind of concealing eye-lenses, it obscured all of her face but the mouth, which wore a grim frown against a pink face under the mask's comically jutting serrated lizard upper lip. Hanging out of the back of her mask was long, silken smooth pink hair that flowed over her long green cape. She wore a utility belt about her waist. As she stood up into a prepared martial combat stance, the emblem of that utility belt became clear: a rather cute little baby alligator with missing teeth.
Clearly, this vigilante was no earth pony to mess with. Yet, the unicorn clucked her tongue beneath that Colt Fawkes mask and posed a riddle, "What has four legs, no fur, and no chance?"
The green masked figure did not move or answer, even as the Diamond Dogs moved to surround her. Crime fighting was no laughing matter.
The Phantom Mare answered her own riddle, "Why, a lost little sewer alligator of course!" It was truly a riddle of a sick mind. "Boys," she commanded the Diamond Dogs, "show her the way out!"
As two Diamond Dogs on either side of the green masked figure lunged to grab her, she executed a perfect cartwheel backwards, causing them to grab each other instead. Her hooves were at her utility belt in a flash, and two cinnamon rolls tied together by a surprisingly durable trickle of frosting tied them up as a bola would. They toppled to the ground, helpless.
The Phantom Mare was greatly amused, "Wha ha ha! Not bad, my old adversary, not bad!" Then she looked up at Lady Applebuck. The noblemare's mouth may have been gagged with an incredibly sticky roll, but those eyes could glare daggers down on her former partner in crime just fine. "Sorry, my dear," chided the unicorn, "but I knew you were being had all along. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to crash!"
"Stop!" commanded the mysterious green-suited earth pony, but the black robed unicorn had already reared back, her horn aglow. A bright flash of light blinded everypony in attendance and once again the sound of hooves were heard as they dashed out of the room. The vigilante knew where she was going: the only way out was up.
As the crime fighter's vision cleared, she realized she had a problem to deal with before she could give pursuit. She still had twenty two diamond dogs to deal with. Two more than twenty, and she had already used up all the cinnamon roll bolas that made up the entirety of what was stored in her utility belt. She would need to subdue the rest in hoof-to-claw combat.
"Give it up, you goons!" she shouted. But there was a hint of worry to it that you would not expect of a peerless crime fighter. She might be able take a dozen if she had the element of surprise, but this would be impossible!
Fido sensed this uncertainty and laughed, "She's finished, brothers! Looks like we have a new workhorse for the mines!" They dove at her from all sides.
Scarlet lightning struck, and the Diamond Dogs flew backwards suddenly! Shaking the stars from their eyes, they discovered they had a new opponent. Standing before the green masked mare was a little filly pegasus of red mane and hastily brushed orange trim. There was no trace of fear in her eyes as she stood, a deadly flame, her wings outstretched to balance her in a perfect horse stance.
Zinnia had shed her maid outfit completely and her cutie mark was clearly visible. It seemed to be a four-point shuriken.
The green masked mare regarded the new arrival coldly. "A sidekick, eh?"
Zinnia just grunted a cute little affirmation.
The crime fighting crusader nodded. "I might be able to get used to that!"
The two leapt into the midst of the astonished Diamond Dogs, and battle was joined anew.
The guards she had converted had proven useless to nature's savior. The moment she let them out of their sight, they fled in all directions, shouting, "THE YELLOW DEMON FROM THE GALA IS BACK! EVERYPONY RUN!" She would be sure to punish them for their insubordination when she finished conquering the known world. Perhaps she would make them clean up after her animals? She liked that idea.
She did not need them anyway; she did not need anypony. Her animal shock troops had defeated the guards at the castle gate effortlessly. Apparently, guards had never been trained to fight anything so small, as they seemed helpless against clouds of birds and rodents. She did not even need to bring in the bears!
The happy-go-lucky groundskeeper opened the door to the throne room before her, quipping to the shocked wedding precession, "Howdy, folks! You might wanna git while the gittin's good!" He followed it with a little claim jumper's laugh. They just looked at him like he was crazy. "Don't say I didn't warn ya!" Then he leaned back against a wall on one side of the door and began to whistle.
The savior spotted Philomena above the throne and shouted, "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME!" From its golden cage above the throne, the phoenix just cocked its head to one side and looked at her quizzically. However, that terrifying shout flung the rest of the wedding procession into chaos!
As the savior directed them to attack, her animal companions surged past her in a swarm of angry chattering teeth and pecking beaks. The wedding guests were now running back and forth in a panic, batting wild animals out of their hair. The savior's forces began to trash the room, knocking over pews and confection tables. There was a squirrel in the punch, and nopony could do anything to stop it. The event had been ruined!
Princess Luna seemed to be expecting the attack, and acted quickly to direct the guests out the side exit of the throne room, going so far as to use her magic to scoop several of them off their hooves and project them out the door. The guests were gone in a flash! The princess even joined them, closing the door behind her, barricading the door with her magic. (The alicorn felt that better than obliterating the maddened pegasus by accident.)
This left five brave ponies to face the crazy savior of the forests and her horde of enraged animals. There was the bride, the bridesmaid, the groom, the best stallion, and the guard who was lucky enough to avoid being the best stallion. They had all retreated to the raised throne dais. Though Primrose would probably not appear particularly moved even if half of Equestria exploded, the rest of the entourage had watched the private wedding being destroyed in ever-mounting dismay.
The savior saw this and mocked them, "If you surrender now, maybe I will spare your miserable lives!" At her prompting, the animals stopped trashing the room and surrounded the dais on all sides.
Trixie and Blueblood looked at each other, seeing the shocked expression on their faces melt away. This was replaced with an unvoiced decision that seemed to pass between them. Primrose sensed this said, "Shall we?" Trixie nodded. Everypony turned and faced their attacker, looking stern.
The savior of the forests found that she was suddenly facing three entrenched unicorns whose ground advance was protected by two burly earth ponies near the foot of the dais. Before the animals could lay so much as a paw on them, all three unicorn's horns had began to glow. One-by-one, this glow surrounded all the animals before them. Every single bird, vermin, and bear was effortlessly paralyzed and pushed into a ball. Then, only Primrose's horn was glowing, holding the whole ball together with her magic alone, as it chirped, roared, and squeaked for freedom.
It was only a feat that could be done by some very peeved and able-bodied unicorns. From beside the front door, the groundskeeper gave another little claim jumper's laugh and clapped his forehooves together in appreciation.
The savior of the forests was suddenly very alone... and very afraid. She took a few tentative steps backwards. "Um... well, I better be going." As she tried to take wing, she found that Trixie's telekinesis had snatched some streamers off the wall and was now using them to neatly hogtie her on the spot! Helpless, the pegasus gave a frightened little squeak.
"Darling," the prince was addressing Trixie in his usual elegance, "would you be so kind as to take the guards and escort her to the dungeon while I tidy up?" He was already busily trying to correct the damage the animals had done to the room, at least to the point that a functional service could be performed.
"Of course, my prince," replied Trixie with the usual snarky edge to her voice. She loved to hogtie ponies who opposed her, and the prince knew it. Flanked by the guards, the mare magician left the room through the back door, levitating the wide-eyed pegasus before her.
"I had best go put the animals back in the garden." stated Primrose.
"Lemme help ya with that, m'dear!" said the old groundskeeper brightly, "I got a few tricks to remind em' to behave again."
They left, closing the front door of the throne room behind them.
The prince was alone. As he attempted to clean the room, he permitted himself a masculine little sigh. He hated to admit it, but it seemed unlikely the private ceremony could be salvaged, and he just knew his scheming older aunt's tardiness was responsible for permitting this disaster.
"Well, well, well." A mocking voice grabbed his attention. Standing in the middle of the throne room as if to make a dramatic sudden appearance was a black robed figure wearing a Colt Fawkes mask. "It seems somepony has crashed the wedding already!"
--
Prince Blueblood glared at The Phantom Mare. He had not forgotten that she had launched the cake that humiliated him and Trixie at the party, and was currently staving off some very dark thoughts about what to do about that. Instead, he looked at her coldly and said, "What do you want?"
The black robe figure cackled and said, "Why, I want my revenge, of course!"
Blueblood had recently come to realize that he had done a lot of terrible things in his life. Thinking back to all the mares whose hearts he broke, he really could not figure out what she was referring to. So he simply said, sounding rather bored, "And what for, exactly?"
What that mask concealed from him, nopony could say, but the Phantom Mare took a step back for a moment, as though the question took her by surprise. Then she came back rapidly, "I am here to enact vengeance in the name of a Miss Rarity!"
Although the prince had broken a great many hearts indeed, that name struck a chord. Miss Rarity was the very mare who had ruined his reputation! But lately, he had been seeing things differently. Formerly, he had thought himself blameless, that it was her fault for thwarting him. Yet, now he knew just how selfish he had been to try to disgrace her. He had been living disgraced for quite some time now, he knew firsthand how horrible it was. But he had also learned that the initial insult he received was not so very important so as to justify such a fate.
He hung his head, knowing that he truly deserved to be punished. This phantasm before him was merely the latest in a long line of penance that fate had been gracious enough to deliver.
"Ah haha!" cried the Phantom Mare, rearing back again as she waved her forehooves in the air, "So you do remember! Yes, prince, writhe in the guilt of what you have done! But, take heart, for your judgment is at hand!" She thought about all the clutter in the room she could hit him with. Was there a lead pipe around here somewhere?
The prince looked up at her said, "Very good. But could you tell Miss Rarity that I have been an utter foal, and I am truly sorry for everything I did in Ponyville?"
The Phantom Mare nearly fell over backwards. Of all the things she expected that arrogant fop to say, it had to be that! She felt a tinge of something that she did not like at all: doubt. Then she remembered something and used it to purge that doubt from her mind.
"Don't worry, I will! But what about the Grand Galloping Gala?! Will you confess your crimes against fabulosity in that event?!"
The stallion frowned at her. "No, I won't."
The black cloaked figure was once again cackling in victory, "Ah haha! Unrepentant to the end! When you get to the afterlife, I hope they trip you through the gates!" Her horn was glowing.
The squirrel befouled punch bowl had been broken into two jagged pieces in the earlier chaos. Now, one of those pieces was hurtling directly towards the prince, a knife-sharp edge gleaming in the light!
It stopped abruptly, just a few inches short from its intended target. The prince's horn was glowing. He snatched the improvised murder weapon from his aggressor's telekinetic grasp and tossed it to the side, where it shattered against a wall.
The Phantom Mare was stunned. "How?!" As a part of the ways pony magic is affected by emotion, the strength of a unicorn's magic is amplified by the power of their conviction. If the prince had managed to counteract her so effortlessly, somehow he truly felt what he did was justified. Not only that, but so strongly that it overpowered her burning need for revenge!
"Yes," admitted the prince, "it was wrong of me to not treat her like a lady. Using her to shield myself from that cake was appalling. However," his voice became angry, "what she had done to me was several times worse."
The cloaked figure took a step back. What could possibly be worse than ruining such a fabulous dress? The prince followed, staring down that Colt Fawkes mask like it was being worn by an utter foal. He began to recount something that angered him deeply.
"Nearly all my life," he seethed, "I have been the dashing prince. The dream of noblemares everywhere. The most eligible bachelor in all Equestria. A prince that Miss Rarity" he said the title with contempt, "had attempted to claim for her own. And, like all the other mares, she had forgotten one thing. A vital, very important, thing. Do you know what that thing was?"
The Phantom Mare was on the defensive, taking steps back before his slow advance. Beneath that grinning mask: fear. "Why, surely it must have been what a foal he was?" The barb was weak, delivered on the back of a quivering voice.
"SHE DID NOT KNOW ME!" thundered the prince, causing her to jump. "And neither did she care! To her, I was just a silly idea! A fantasy! A prince intended to whisk her away to a land of fairy tails; to make her a princess. But, I ask you: how?" he was seething again, "How could that have ever been anything but a loveless relationship between a selfish, self-centered witch and her hapless trophy husband?"
The Phantom Mare felt her rump contact something and she knew she had backed up to the far end of the room. She was trapped. Beneath that mask, her lips quivered, thinking of something to say. She found something, grasped it desperately, and used it.
"I SHALL TELL HER!" she shouted, rearing back, horn aglow.
A bright flash of light. The prince was blinded. He heard the sound of rapidly retreating hooves. When his vision cleared, as he expected, he was the only creature in the room again. He returned to tidying up.
After a few minutes, Trixie returned from the dungeon, the prince's personal guard in tow. Seeing the newly shattered half of the punchbowl, she asked, "Did I miss something, my prince?"
Prince Blueblood looked upon her warmly. Of course, he had been questioned about himself by the other mares before, but those questions were empty, making small talk, their eyes vacant: they had made their decision about him before they had even met. However, this mare was different: she loathed him at first! But then they went through some things. They learned about each other. Only then did they come to realize they truly loved what they saw in each other. In all of Equestria, this was the only mare who truly knew him, and he her, and soon they would be married.
"Not at all, my princess. Everything is fine now."
The Phantom Mare panted, leaning up against the wall of a dark castle hallway. She did not know how long she had run, but she could run no further. Her mind was racing.
Her revenge did not turn out at all how she expected! The prince actually had a point! Her eyes narrowed. Unacceptable! Point or not, she would make that snotty little prat pay! And, while she was at it, perhaps she would poison that little strumpet he was marrying, too! But how?
She felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned to face it. She caught a fleeting glimpse of a pink hoof as it pounded through her mask, breaking it neatly in half! Unmasked, Rarity fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, knocked out cold.
The green masked crime crusader grinned at her unconscious nemesis. It was the first hint of happiness she had in days.
"Now, we're even!" she said brightly.
Nopony deliberately ruins a Pinkie Pie party and gets away with it. Nopony.
They had been shed of their outfits and cleaned, looking nothing like the criminals they once were. However, the hallmarks of their transformation still raged behind those bars.
"I did nothing wrong! Let me out!" shouted Lady Applebuck, "I'll sue, you hear?!" She was up against the bars, clamoring for attention.
"There'll be no laws when I'm through," cackled the savior of the forest, "I shall break the back of the system, one pony at a time!" She sat in the center of the cell, twitching madly.
"No laws. Hmm. I like the ring of that." mused the Phantom Mare to herself. She sat against the back of the cell, facing away from the bars.
On the other side of those bars stood three figures.
Princess Celestia regretted the necessity of a dungeon. In fact, rather than incarcerate the Diamond Dogs, she simply sent the battered mongrels home with a warning. However, each time she moved to have these cells dismantled, something always happened that required it be reopened. And now, three of her faithful student's dearest friends were languishing before her. It was terrible.
"Holy guacamole!" cried the dragon next to her, "I've seen them lose control before. But this!"
Princess Luna sighed, "I think you may have gone too far this time, Tia."
"We shall see," replied Celestia, "but I dearly hope you are mistaken, sister."
The sound of two sets of approaching hooves was heard echoing off the dungeon walls. As if recognizing them, the three mad mares in the cell suddenly quieted. For awhile, the only thing anypony heard were those hooves.
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash turned the last bend. At first, they only saw the alicorns standing with Spike. Then, they saw three of their missing friends in the cell. The two brightened immediately and went over to see them.
"Omigosh!" Rainbow Dash was excited to see the farm pony, having blamed herself for her disappearance all this time, "AJ, you're okay!"
Lady Applebuck looked at her with wide eyes, as though she was not sure what she was looking at.
"Girls!" Twilight Sparkle was at least as happy as her pegasus friend, "Where have you all been! I was worried sick!" her voice took on an ironic spin, "And why are you in that cell?"
Applejack and Fluttershy moved up to the bars closest to Twilight, opening and shutting their mouths, searching for something to say.
Applejack spoke first, "Twi, I ain't gonna beat around the bush. I went plum loco! Saw it comin', but-"
Fluttershy interrupted, "I'm so sorry! I guess I got a little carried away. You must hate me..." her voice trailed off.
"Hate you?!" Twilight was incredulous, "Never! You're the nicest pony I know!"
The yellow pegasus just cringed and looked up at her with wide eyes like a scolded puppy, squeaking something indeterminable.
Celestia's horn glowed and the cell door slid open. Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged a hug with the two friends they had dearly missed. It was as though nothing ever happened: they were together again.
However, The Phantom Mare had remained at the back of the cell, still facing the wall.
The dragon scampered over to the unicorn at the back of the cell, looking concerned. "Rarity, are you okay?"
"Get away from me!" The dragon recoiled.
"Twilight." Celestia's voice seemed a little too practiced. "She has been through a lot. Please talk to her."
After looking to her friends for reassurance, the purple unicorn walked up to Rarity and spoke to her. "Rarity? Are you alright?"
The Phantom Mare said nothing, unrepentant.
Twilight Sparkle sounded a bit like she was going to cry, "Rarity?!"
The white unicorn sighed and stood up, facing them at last. Her friends gasped in shock.
The elegant fashionista had a very impressive black eye marring her usual perfection.
Spike could not hold it any longer. The young dragon fell backwards and laughed his little heart out as Rarity simply turned red from embarrassment.
"Wow, Rarity." Twilight Sparkle did a better job of containing her mirth, and was trying to find a way to reassure her. "You look..."
"Save it." The voice was flat, humiliated. "For reasons I don't care to get into right now, I have come to realize that I completely deserve this! So can we just get out of here already?"
"Of course!" came Celestia's warm reply. "I am happy to report that you girls have completed your mission, and may return to Ponyville!"
The fillies cheered (although Rarity's cheering sounded a bit forced).
Princess Luna offered, "If you'll follow me, girls, I'll take you to your room so you can begin packing."
Laughing, the five friends made their way out from in front of that cell, Twilight Sparkle trailing, happy to watch them go before her. Then she caught sight of something hiding in the shadows. She paused, allowing her friends to go on ahead of her, as she squinted into the darkness, trying to identify what she was looking at.
She spoke, "Pinkie Pie?! Where were you all this time?!"
The pink earth pony bounced into the light. She was not wearing any outfit, her mane had inflated into its usual cotton candy shape; she was just her bright and cheery self again. "Oh, you know. Around."
Twilight Sparkle made a face, "Ugh! You are so random! So, are you coming?"
"Sure thing, Twilight! Lets go!" She bounced ahead of the unicorn singing a few notes as she went. Twilight followed, rolling her eyes, but inwardly happier than she had been in quite some time.
Back at the cell, Spike turned to the Celestia and said, "Alright, sister, that was too creepy to ignore. Same deal as before. Except, this time, if you're going to throw me in the dungeon, it's a lot shorter of a toss!"
The tall alicorn laughed merrily at the little dragon's cheekiness. She was in the highest spirits she had been in a while. Then she answered his question with a question, "Do you remember what we said about how the elements serve as a moral compass for most ponies, but how Twilight Sparkle's friends only have one such element and so are vulnerable to falling into discord?"
The little dragon thought to the conversation they had back in the infirmary after Twilight Sparkle's arrival and nodded.
Celestia continued, "As Twilight Sparkle is dependent on the other five elements to prevent the Element of Magic from receding, so also the other bearers are dependent on her. However, it is in a much different way. Their friendship with my faithful student forms a conduit between them, providing the supporting elements that they lack."
Spike scratched his head. "Meaning?"
"Apart, her friends are as strong as five ponies, but only in a single element. When they neglect that element, they run the risk of losing everything. But together, combined with the bearer of the Element of Magic, they become as strong as six ponies in every element! Even should they neglect their own element, as long as they are together with my faithful student, their friends will support them, as good friends do!"
"Woah!" The little dragon tried to wrap his head around what it must be like to have a complete moral compass with five redundant backups. "So I guess I just gotta make sure they're not forced to do anything they normally wouldn't do when Twilight's not around to talk them back to their senses?"
The alicorn approved, "You understand correctly." She began to make her way out of the dungeon, the dragon following.
"Oh, brother!" despaired the dragon next to her, "This is going to be a lot of work."
Celestia's laughter faded down the hallway as they went, leaving the cell behind them barren, as she preferred. "I have the utmost confidence in you, Spike."
Prince Blueblood and the Great And Powerful Trixie were getting just a bit tired of Princess Celestia's antics. The private ceremony that had been planned last evening had indeed been ruined, and they had been denied that opportunity to marry. They had attempted to track down the alicorn, but she had proven surprisingly elusive. It was all they could do to resist slipping out the back of the castle and eloping.
Finally, at noon of the day after the disaster, they had been contacted to dress again as bride and groom and meet the monarch at the room at top of the tower closest to the front of the gatehouse. It was a fairly spacious little stateroom with comfortable furniture. There was an adjoining patio that would offer an excellent view of the front of the castle, but the young couple simply sat on a couch next to each other, waiting impatiently.
Abruptly, the door leading to the rest of the tower opened and Princess Celestia had arrived at last, trailed by her sister. The couples' hearts rose: could it be they were to be married at last? And then the couples' hearts fell: trailing the two alicorns were six fillies and a dragon from Ponyville they had hoped to never see again.
"What is the meaning of this?!" blustered the prince.
"The Great And Powerful Trixie did not invite them!" cried Trixie.
Disturbingly, these interlopers did not seem the least bit bothered to see them, nor at their reaction to their arrival.
Celestia looked at the couple and said brightly, "Why, whatever is the matter, dears?"
For awhile, the two unicorns fumbled for words to describe exactly why they had been so bothered to see the fillies, but found they simply would not come, much to the amusement of everypony. Then, the couple looked into each other' eyes and had a sudden realization.
"On second thought-" started the prince.
"-it really doesn't matter anymore." finished Trixie.
"Much abliged," drawled Applejack, "n' if you don't mind me sayin' so, we've been a-gunnin' to see you two tie the knot for some time." Though the farm pony did not know it, giving her the opportunity to say this was something Celestia felt was necessary to purge her of any lingering feelings of dishonesty.
"You don't say?" answered the prince.
He and Trixie glared at Princess Celestia: they did not know the true extent in which she had meddled, but the jig was up. She did nothing to deny it, even responding with her silly little expression of having been caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. That always got a giggle out of Luna, and now was no exception.
Pinkie Pie piped up, "Don't you two sillies have something to say to her?"
The two looked at Pinkie Pie with an unreadable expression for a moment, then looked at each other. Trixie smiled.
Blueblood sighed, "Thank you, auntie Celestia." It was the tone of a foal who had been encouraged to thank somepony for a gift.
"You're very welcome, nephew," she replied sweetly. He let out a little harrumph.
"Darlings, don't you think we've kept them waiting enough?" Rarity was wearing a concealing masquerade half-mask on one side of her face. Even not knowing that black eye was underneath it, for some reason that mask bothered Blueblood.
Princess Luna agreed, "Yes, Tia, lets get these two lovey dovey ponies married already!"
"Tia?" asked Trixie shrewdly. She was the only pony in the room who had yet to hear the younger alicorn's pet name for her sister.
Celestia winked at the mare magician. "State secret." Then, she was all business. "Nephew, Trixie, come here." She walked out onto the balcony from the room beckoning them to follow.
They did so, marveling at what they saw. There was the green grass of the front lawn before Castle Canterlot, something that the prince had pined to play on as a foal. Yet, there was something on top of that lawn that they did not expect: the entire pony population of Canterlot and many visitors from regions beyond!
"My little ponies and guests," stated Celestia regally to the mass, "we are gathered here today to unite Prince Blueblood and Trixie in matrimony."
Cheers rose from below, fairly overwhelming the couple and their Ponyvillian visitors.
"Prince Blueblood," asked Celestia solemnly, "do you take the hoof of Trixie, and promise to love her and safeguard her as the mare who is most precious to you?"
"I do." It was stated without hesitation in regal magnificence. The crowd cheered.
"Trixie," asked Celestia with equal voice, "do you take the hoof of Prince Blueblood, and promise to love him and safeguard him as the stallion who is most precious to you?"
"I do!" The mare magician said it as though it was a snide little victory cry. The crowd cheered again.
"Then, with the power vested in me as the ruler of Equestria, I hereby do pronounce you wed. It is my pleasure to introduce you all to Prince Blueblood and Princess Trixie!" Then, sidelong the tall alicorn whispered to Blueblood, "Well, go on: kiss her already!"
To the roaring cheer of the procession below, the couple complied.
As they sealed that kiss, between them, they felt something new.
A spark.
They felt united by something truly magical.
The ceremony was brief, but it was now official: the two were wed. On the balcony, the two vain - but noticeably improved - unicorns enjoyed basking in the attention lavished on them for quite a bit longer than most other ponies would have, but eventually decided that even they had enough for one day, and pulled back into the cozy room inside.
Almost immediately upon leaving public view, Blueblood fixed Princess Celestia a stern look. "Oh nephew," she smiled, "you did not really think I would let you get away with a private wedding, did you?"
The six fillies and the dragon saw themselves quietly out. Although there was one exception to that silence: Rainbow Dash had been bawling her eyes out. This attracted some looks, to which the tomboyish pegasus replied, "What?! I cry at weddings, okay?!" The fillies laughed - more with her than at her - as they proceeded down those stairs towards the ground level of the castle.
As the six fillies and the baby dragon passed, the guards at the gatehouse saluted them. The Ponyvillians crossed the drawbridge and proceeded down the path. Surrounding them on both sides, hundreds of brightly-colored ponies were merrily chatting about the ceremony they had just witnessed. Amongst the fillies, even those who were still feeling guilty about how they had behaved recently could not help but feel proud that, in the end, they had played a pivotal (if secret) role in bringing joy to so many.
As the friends continued their march, Pinkie Pie was bouncing beside them, having broke into another song.
Oooh, we had went to Canterlot, me and my five friends!
We saw no sights, we had some fights, and needed to make amends!
We all went a little crazy but in the end we had come clean,
as the finest force of fillies that Canterlot has ever seen!
The finest force of fillies that Canterlooooot has eveeeer seeeeeeeeen!
By that big finish, all the friends had joined in, and the laughter that followed was the perfect balm for the hardship that they had endured since they had arrived.
A welcome sight greeted them at the end of the path: two packed and ready wagons. Finally, they were going home.
