MLP: Gold Edition

by CrypticMetaphor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 3115

Twilight awakens to a potpourri of completely wild occurences

Twilight has been a Princess of Equestria for two weeks now and is loving every minute of it. After returning to Ponyville and awakening the following morning, she finds that reality has done a complete handstand. Twilights wings have vanished along with any recollection of the previous days events. And for some freaky reason, she can turn gold at will and do other strange feats. What has caused this complete quantum overhaul?

(Cancelled due to losing updates and not being able to retrieve them)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-02 17:01:38 UTC

The Gold Experience I

Twilight awoke from her slumber with a start which then transitioned into a pounding sensation that centered itself a few centimeters above her horn.  The unicorn groaned in sleepiness and hopped out of her bed and made her way to her bathroom mirror to freshen up.  She glanced at the state she was currently in and suppressed a chuckle, her mane was as disheveled as ever before.  The previous night events were…she couldn't recall them.  She pouted in annoyance; she had one of the best memories around and for some reason this one event could not be recalled.  She then levitated a special comb that she had purchased for her wings to assist in their up keep; it always helps when you know a pegasus who had been to the store in question a couple of times.  She then brought the comb down to her side to begin…only for the comb to brush nothing but her side.  Twilight’s eyes widened in shock, her vision slowly traveled to her right wing.  At least it would have if it was still there, the scream that followed shook the foundations of the tree house.

Spike ran upstairs wearing a pot helmet and wielding a whisk, “What happened Twilight?!  Were you attacked, is their some strange creature in the house?”

Twilight’s right eye twitched, “My wings…”

Spike looked at her unimpressed, “Yeah, and?”

Twilight then broke down, “THEY’RE GONE SPIKE!!!”

Spike then took notice and ran around her in a circle, “Your right!”

Twilight was panicking to say the least, “Who or what could have done this?!  Did I catch some sort of alicorn disease, did the princess relinquish my title?!”

Spike raised his hands in a calming gesture, “Chill out Twilight, remember your breathing.”

Twilight nodded and slowly inhaled then exhaled, “Thank you Spike, I lost my head for a second there.”

All of a sudden a series of loud knock shook Twilight from her surprised state.  Both dragon and pony traveled downstairs and opened the front door and collectively gasped.  Rarity was standing in the doorway looking positively devastated, her mane was blackened.  Her coat seemed to have some odd green substance attached to it along with several scrapes and small burn marks.  She also seemed to have some black on her horn.

Twilight walked toward her friend with concern, “Rarity what happened to you?”

Rarity then quickly planted a hoof on her friend’s mouth to silence her, “Have I come here yet?!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow only for Rarity to tackle Twilight to the ground, “DID I COME HERE YET?!”

Twilight yelled out her answer in exasperation, “NO! Why?!”

Rarity sighed, “Good, when I do come here in about most likely a minute.  I want you to tell me no.”

Twilight was very confused now, “What?”

Rarity seemed to buzz with static electricity as the faint smell of marshmallows began to permeate the air, “JUST SAY NO!!!”

Rarity then vanished in a small pop of white and silver light.  Twilight was even more confused as before.  Spike was just blinking in utter surprise at not only the thing he just witnessed, but the fact that a completely normal Rarity appeared in the door way.  She glanced in shock at Twilight’s current state.

Rarity approached Twilight, “Darling what happened to your wings?  Do you need any help?”

Twilight then yelled out in surprise, “NO!”

Rarity backed up in surprise and then looked slightly offended, “Well I’m so sorry, there is no need to shout.”

Twilight stood and quickly apologised, “Rarity you were just here!  How did you-“

Rarity cut her off, “What in Equestria are you talking about?  I JUST got here.”

Twilight was pointing to the doorway, “No, I mean yes and no.  Grrrr, it’s just so weird.”

Rarity was now greatly concerned, “Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

Twilight turned toward a nearby table in exhaustion, “Probably, at least of the psychiatric variety.”

Rarity walked to her friend’s side, “I think maybe this Princess business is taking a toll on you, OH YES! That reminds me of why I came here in the first place.  I wanted to know if you wished to join me at the spa for some unwinding and to tell me ALL about the things you did at the Royal Retreat.”

Twilight blinked in confusion, “The Retreat?”

Rarity tilted her head slightly, “You know, the Royal Retreat you went to for two weeks to meet with the royal delegates from across the land.”

Twilight blinked once more, “This may sound strange, but I have no idea what I may or may not have done.”

Rarity smiled and nodded, “OH I get it, mums the word right?”

Twilight furrowed her brow, “Huh?”

Rarity tapped her nose with her hoof, “I get it.”

Twilight stood in utter befuddlement as Rarity walked out the door, “Well I don’t.”

*

After perusing Rarity to the spa and accepting her invitation, both ponies were sitting in the sauna letting their troubles melt away.  Twilight was still focused on two things, her wings and the odd Rarity encounter as well.  She knew not following up on it might make the situation worse, but she also thought that a little relaxation would help the thought process.  As Twilight sat she began to feel a very unusual sensation throughout her entire body.  Rarity then yelled in surprise and fear beside her.  Twilight glanced at her friend and then down at herself.  Both continued to scream.

*

Spike was currently in a heated argument with a stall vendor that was being very insistent on ripping him off.

Spike glared at the stallion, “Just give me the quartz and take the usual price.”

The stallion shook his head, “I’ve told you that I’m in charge now and the policy-“

Spike rolled his eyes, “JUST went into effect, I know.”

The stallion leaned over the counter and smiled, “AND the price just went up again.”

Spike growled in frustration, “Just give me the quartz and take. The usual. PRICE!”

Spikes right eye then flared slightly as a red dragon like shape of light glinted on its surface and shot into the stallion’s eye.  The odd occurrence caused his mind to yield to the command.

The stallion then robotically replied with small red rings around his irises, “Of course.”

Spike was given the quartz in great confusion but he thought nothing of it.

*

Twilight was standing before Rarity completely changed.  Her coat had become completely gold and even had a metallic sheen to it.  Her mane, tail, and eyes were white gold much to her shock and fear.  Some odd lines seemed to be engraved from where her legs connected with her body down to the bottom of her hooves.  Rarity on the other hoof was both afraid and in awe at the spectacle before her.

Rarity took a cautious step forward, “Are you alright Twilight?”

Twilight glanced at herself once more, “Actually, I feel fine.”

Twilight’s back leg then brushed the water bucket which exploded all around her into an odd green substance.  The substance blinded and surprised Rarity who stumbled out of the sauna and smacked into a large cup of black hair dye.  The black dye poured onto Rarity’s mane along with a bit of her horn and worked its magic immediately much to the Rarity’s horror.  Before she could speak however, static electricity surged across her ruined coat and she popped out of existence with the smell of marshmallows.

Twilight was at a loss for words but a familiar voice of a certain reformed individual invaded her ears, “Well that escalated quickly.”

The Gold Experience II

Elsewhere in Ponyville a familiar cotton candy colored mare was sitting in the center of her room in confusion sprinkled with genuine curiosity.  She had woken from her power nap refreshed and ready to face the day, only to plop down on the floor.  Her Pinkie sense had not acted up at all, usually at least one signal be it major or minor occurs every time she is awakens from her power nap or any slumber for that matter.  This normally would not worry her if it were not for the fact that she was staring at her open closet into a small bluish swirling hole.  Pinkie then picked up a bent Bit from the floor beside her and threw it into the hole.

*

Sweetie Belle was trotting along to the Carousel Boutique humming a tune when a small hole opened above her head and a bent Bit pegged her on the noggin.

*

Pinkie Pie was now looking around her room in excited awe.  She had discovered that her room had these odd holes in abundance in and under some objects.  She walked over to her bedside table and opened the drawer.

*

Twilight was frantic, not only had she witnessed a ridiculous time prophecy come true but she had turned gold and did not know why.  She glanced at some of the green substance that had lingered behind and sniffed it cautiously.  She blinked in surprise at the smell of lime jelly, but the question was how she had turned the bucket into the jelly in the first place.  She glanced over at a very shocked Aloe.

Twilight blushed ruby in embarrassment, “Sorry.”

Pinkie’s head then literally popped out of thin air, “Wowie!!”

Twilight shrieked in surprise and fell on her back with a clunk, “Pinkie!?”

Pinkie Pie gazed at her golden friend, “Wow Twilight, I didn’t know you were into the bling-bling look.”

Twilight’s face went neutral, “I’m not.”

Pinkie chuckled, “Then why are you gold plated?”

Twilight sat up and rubbed her head, “I don’t know.  The bigger question is HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!?”

Pinkie Pie merely smiled, “Worm Holes.”

Twilight became skeptical instantly, “Worm holes?”

Pinkie nodded, “Yepper deppers!  I have TONS of them in my room.”

Twilight was now standing and walking around the levitating head of her friend, “This is truly an odd occurrence, but it’s also a scientific marvel.”

Pinkie nodded, “I try.”

Twilight was now in front of Pinkie Pie, “Do you know where any of the holes end up?”

Pinkie inhaled, “Well a couple of them open up all over Ponyville including under the Ponyville fountain.  Point of note, we have a colony of mole people underground plotting stuff.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “Pinkie, would it be too much trouble if I were to examine them?”

Pinkie was then all business, “Actually you should get over to Applejack.  She’s looks like she’s in a looooot of trouble.”

Twilight then heard someone clear his throat causing her to turn her head to see an annoyed Discord…pony.

Discord flatly stated, “I don’t appreciate being ignored.”

Twilight stared at Discord who rolled his eyes, “Before you ask, no it wasn’t me.  I’m as much a victim as you all are.”

Twilight nodded, “I see that.  But do you know what might have caused it?”

Discord shrugged, “Beats me, you’re the genius that usually figures this stuff out.”

Twilight turned to Pinkie, “What exactly is wrong with AJ?”

*

Applejack’s throat was sore to say the least.  She had been screaming for help for over an hour and nopony could hear her, maybe it was because nopony was nearby or it was due to the current predicament she was in.  It had started as a regular day, she rose early with her brother and they both went to work immediately.  That day she had to handle the south orchard and was going at it for a good while until she reached a particularly stubborn tree.  She fired up her legs and delivered a mighty kick only for it to backfire completely as the force rebounded and hurled her toward another tree.  She braced herself accordingly and felt the impact, but nothing else.  She then rebounded toward another tree and continued to yell for help.  This continued until her throat was raw and now she was just bored and wished for somepony to come across her and stop whatever was happening.  Through the blurs of the passing scenery she could make out what could only be described as a swirling hole opening up in thin air and some shiny being stepping out onto the grass.

Applejack was abruptly halted in mid-flight as the farm mare noticed who’s aura was surrounding her, “Thanks Twilight I thought I’d be bouncin round for-“

AJ took in what her friend now looked like and yelled out in surprise, “What the hay happened to you?”

Twilight returned the comment with equal volume, “I’d say the same to you!”

Applejack looked down and her eye’s widened.  Although she had been stopped in mid-flight it seemed that her entire body had been stretched like taffy and it hadn't returned to its regular shape.

Applejack felt a scream building only for Twilight to slowly ease her to the ground.  The minute the magical aura turned off AJ went back to her regular body shape with a snap.  The mare slowly stood and gazed at her front hooves in fear.  Applejack then fell on her backside and stared into space in disbelief.

Pinkie’s head popped out beside Twilight, “I think you broke her.”

The Gold Experience III

Applejack was hyperventilating in panic as Twilight tried to calm her down.

Twilight was waving her hooves, “AJ you have to keep it together.  The last thing you want to do is panic!”

Applejack shook her friend, “AHM MADE OF RUBBER, YER GOLD, AND PINKIE’S FLOATING IN A HOLE!! THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!!!!!”

Pinkie Pie was casually eating popcorn when a flash of white accompanied by the smell of marshmallow’s entered the area.

All looked to reveal a slightly cleaner Rarity who had achieved her usual look, “Oh thank goodness!”

Twilight hugged her friend immediately, “Rarity I was so worried!  What happened to you after the spa?”

Rarity’s smile vanished, “Wait a moment, you mean this,” she took in her surroundings and clicked her tongue, “Well it seems I’ve arrived a tad earlier than I expected, but granted this happened already…”

Rarity trailed off when she noticed her friends lost expressions, “Let me explain, Twilight, this all happened because of-“

Rarity popped out of existence.

Applejack was desperately grabbing at the air, “No come back!!”

Pinkie Pie gazed in awe, “Wowie!  I didn’t know Rarity could time travel!”

Twilight blinked, “Yeah…I forgot to mention that.”

Applejack was on the brink of having a panic attack, “What’s happening!  What is all this!? WHY IS THIS HAPPENI-“

Twilight silenced her with a hoof, “I said panicking won’t solve anything.  Applejack, I’m going to remove my hoof and when I do I want you to calmly breathe alright?”

Applejack nodded as Twilight removed her hoof.  Applejack then began to breathe.

Twilight stood tall and looked around, “Alright here’s what we’re going to do.  We’re going to grab Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, hopefully Rarity will catch up.  Then we’re heading to Canterlot to figure this out.”

*

Rainbow Dash was having a ball!  When she woke up she felt more invigorated than usual and sought out the days challenge’s but found that the usual business was moot due to the fact she had the day off.  SO taking the opportunity to relax she lounged on a nearby cloud and watched the clouds just linger in the sky.  After a while she began to see shapes and began to point them out for fun.

Rainbow laughed, “Okay that one looks like a bowl of hay fries.”

The minute that was uttered a surge of purple lightning shot out from her forehead and smacked into the cloud which then changed into a bowl of hay fries and landed on Dash’s stomach.

Dash immediately flew up and away from the bowl like it was filled with acid, “WHAT THE?!”

She then glimpsed at another cloud and rubbed a hoof in her chin, “Hm, become…A CLOWN!”

The same result took place as the cloud transformed into a clown Pegasus who plopped onto the cloud she had been resting on in confusion.

Dash rubbed her hooves together, “Oh this is going to be fun.”

*

Twilight knocked for the fourth time on Fluttershy’s door and received no answer, “Where is she?”

Applejack stood beside her, “Maybe she’s out?”

Pinkie shook her head as she floated beside the pair, “I’m telling you she’s here.  I asked her yesterday if she wanted to hang out today but she said she was going to be here all day doing some cleaning.”

All of a sudden the mares heard a series of slow movements and the door creaked open to reveal Fluttershy with a bandanna tied around her mouth.

Twilight raised a brow at this, “Fluttershy why are you wearing that?”

The Pegasus produced a small note pad and scribbled on it, “It’s so I don’t talk.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow as well, “What the hay is the matter?  Why can’t you talk?”

Fluttershy then scribbled, “When I woke up this morning something really bad happened.”

The sound of crashing wood reached the mares ears as Fluttershy’s ears folded back, “I blew up a portion of my roof.”

Twilight looked at her friend in concern, “How did you do that?”

Fluttershy motioned them to stand aside as she walked out and made a covering gesture toward her ears.  Her friends reluctantly covered their ears as she removed the bandanna and inhaled.

Fluttershy then did a simple, “Yay.”

Usually nopony would think much of it.  But in this case her usual volume sky rocketed as a nearby tree was blown to bits.  Fluttershy quickly put her bandanna back on as Twilight stared wide eyed.

Twilight then heard a crashing sound in the distance, “We have to find Rainbow.”

*

Rainbow Dash was staring at the train she had just made, “Wow, ok this is awesome!”

Rainbow climbed aboard, “All aboard the Dash Train!”

The sound of a throat being cleared removed her from her fantasy as she took notice of her friends, “Oh hey girls, what’s up?”

Twilight stepped forward, “Rainbow Dash, what did you do?”

Dash looked to the sky, “Oh nothing major.  I CAN TURN CLOUDS INTO STUFF!!”

Twilight was surprised to say the least, “Seriously?”

Dash nodded as she looked at a nearby cloud, “Become a cider barrel!”

A cider barrel then crashed down in front of her, “I’m awesome!”

Twilight walked over to Dash, “Rainbow, though this ability is quite intriguing and I have to admit is pretty awesome.  We have to fix this.”

Dash deadpanned, “We’re going to the princesses aren’t we?”

*

Dash’s answer came in the form of a teleport to the Canterlot throne room.

Twilight approached, “Princesses we have a major problem!”

Celestia’s voice was heard from behind her throne, “I’ll say.”

When she walked out the ponies gasped as Celestia…meowed.

The kitten before them had the same color scheme as the beloved princess and adornments except for the absence of her horn and wings.

Celestia looked at herself and at the assembled ponies, “I’m afraid the current situation is less than purrfect.”