Turns out that she was having the letter sent by having Spike incinerate it. Somehow the smoke would travel away and reach its recipient in a matter of seconds. You'd think there'd be high demand for dragons able to do this.

"Dragons are rare and tend not to get along with ponies. Spike has lived with and been raised by ponies his entire life," I'm told.

I throw away my coat and sit down at a chair.

"All right. We finally have enough peace and quiet, and there's a lot to talk about. So ask away. My questions can wait a little."

Everyone either gets seated or mills about shiftlessly.

"How the hey do you walk on two legs without even a tail?" Rainbow brashly asks.

"Ah. It's a huge part of childhood. Takes several years to build the required control. Huh. Wonder if a tail would help me walk. Whatever."

"And how come you stand on your fetlocks?"

"Fetlocks?"

I stand and stare at my feet.

"Yeah, that's just how we stand for some reason. Like other apes. We're pretty much apes. Yeah."

"Hmm. Are you carnivores?"

"No. Plants are fine, so long as they don't have cellulose. So no grass or hay or anything like that."

"And why's your face bald?" she asks, going on with the body questions.

"Again, just the way I am. Got some body hair, but it can hardly be described as fur. That's why I'm so covered up. Keep the sun off."

"Anything special?"

"Well, actually not much, apart from good dexterity," I say, flexing a few fingers.

"Your body's actually a bit like that minotaur who showed up a few years back."

Needless to say, that doesn't even faze me.

"Huh. Minotaurs were supposed to be half-human. Odd. Whatever. Okay. Anything else?"

"What are your people like?" Fluttershy says. She does seem a bit reserved.

"Um. Well, simply said, everybody's wildly different. In personality and everything else. Like you are so diverse, we are too. We're people, plain and simple."

It happens that Applejack drops the bombshell with her question.

"So. Exactly why have we seen none of your kind ever before?"

"Um. Crap. You see, I was messing about with teleportation and... I think I'm from another world."

Almost everyone looks shocked or at least shows great interest.

"I suspected as much," is all Rainbow thinks about it.

"Really? You're an alien?" Sunny scoffs.

"Right, I- Wait, what planet am I on?"

"Earth, of course," Twilight offers.

"Okay. I'm just going to assume that our two worlds have the same name. It's not like that's the first bizarre parallel I've seen. Because I've never been to heard of Equestria."

"What do you mean, 'parallels?'"

"Alright. Let's see, despite seemingly having no contact whatsoever, we share a language, a script, basic cultural mores, biology, heck, this town has human architecture in it. That's why we've been able to communicate so well speaking to each other."

"Yes, I was wondering about that. It was quite strange to me."

"Okay. Maybe we should worry about that matter later. I'm sure you have other desperate questions, but can I ask some? For starters, could you tell me more about Equestria?"

"Let's see, largest population of ponies on Earth with 27 million citizens, two-billion square miles stretching across the continent of Equus, diverse economy, rich natural resources, and realm of the two alicorn princesses, who command the sun and the skies," Pinkie suddenly rattles off at a speed just slow enough for me to understand.

"Yeah, I guess Celestia is one of the- what? The sun and the skies?"

Everyone's facial expressions appear as if to say that were perfectly ordinary.

"They... control them?"

"Uh, yeah?" Pinkie responds, again as if my skepticism is something unusual.

"What, they just move the sun and moon around each day or something?" I say, just so slightly agitated.

"Yup, you got it!" she replies, cheerfully and completely honestly.

"I... Do you know how many trillions of trillions of tons that thing weighs? And you talking about individuals moving them around the earth? Like their some kind of invincible goddesses? The hell?"

"Please, calm down! I assure you... I believe your cosmology is wildly different from ours?" Twilight interjects.

I take a deep breath and cradle my head in a hand.

"Okay, okay. Who is Celestia's sister?" I ask, more sedately.

"Princess Luna rules alongside her sister, ever since she returned a few years ago," she tells me.

"Let me guess, the moon is her charge?"

Twilight nods.

"And they're not all-powerful just because they move the celestial bodies, which aren't 'trillions of trillions' of tons here. They just have special power in that area. The job of raising the sun used to be handled by teams of unicorns, you know. But I'm curious how the heavens function in your world?"

Oh boy. Here we go.

Author's Note

Short and late, I know, I know.