Mints and Magic

by Dalken Starbyne

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Human, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8045

Dropped from a world without magic to a world with it, will a new life change this man, or him it?

A man finds himself abruptly and mysteriously in a strange, new land. Though he finds his new predicament rather awkward and off-putting, it seems like the locals are generally friendly and the overall problems few and relatively minor. However, when some residents start to go missing and rumors spread of events unheard of in their history and unexplained by all methods available to them, can this man find a way to survive? And when he meets new friends along the way, will he decide to help them, or will he leave them and their world to a horrible fate?

Published 2012-02-06 07:24:29 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-11 15:17:14 UTC

Chapter 1: Fireworks

Chapter 1: Fireworks

This is the part where you find out what the heck is going on.

Before we start, I want to allay some fears. “Mister Narrator,” you might say. “I just read the prologue. This had better not be another 'humans in Equestria' story! It is, isn't it? Okay, I'm leaving now.”

Now just wait! Come back!

Please?

There you go. Just sit down and hear me out for a second. This isn't so bad as all that. Just stick with me for a few pages, and you'll see. Sure, there are some themes surrounding the theory of a human being plopped in here, and there will be some awkwardness for comedic effect, but it gets serious enough. No really, I swear! Keep with me here, you'll see this is setting up to be a nice, big, grand adventure. Okay, I'll stop breaking the fourth wall.

For now.

Our story begins with a bewildered little pegasus somewhere in the Everfree forest during the dark of night. His bewilderment came not from the fact that he was lost—though he was—the main source of it was from the fact that he had no idea how he had become lost in the first place. Last he remembered, he had been home, lounging in bed until lulling off to sleep. Now, the poor colt stood there amongst the mostly identical-looking trees for a while, looking about so as to try to get his bearings. Unfortunately, nothing was familiar to him. He went to scratch his forehead with a hoof. This, however, gave him pause. He sat on his rump, staring at the hoof before giving a shout and flopping over rather lamely in distress (Ah, I'm sure you've just figured out the catch, my dear reader.). A string of incoherent thoughts ran through his mind almost more quickly than he could keep track of them, all while he frantically checked himself over: Hoof? Fur? Other hoof? Tail?! First hoof again? Mane!? ...Wings?!?

It was another few moments before he calmed enough to also take note of his new coloration: a white coat that almost shined with a contrast against the darkness of the rest of the night as it reflected what little light there was to be had, and—as best he could tell—a mane and tail that roughly mimicked the colors of the grass and leaves of the forest itself. Okay. This had to be a dream. A weird hallucination or something. That was as best as he could rationalize it, at any rate, and he was sticking to that for the time being.

Next was the task of walking. He had been standing there well enough, at least prior to his minor crisis, but propelling himself forward proved to be not so simple of a task as he had hoped. He stood up, attempting to take a step ahead. Flip. That's okay, really. Try again! Flop. Starting to get a headache, here. Step...step...there you go, now watch it! A trip sent him fumbling again; an involuntary flapping of wings only proved to worsen this situation as he tumbled head-over-hooves into a tree. Whump! Ouch. He winced, thankful that no one could see this embarrassment...only to realize how silly that was compared to his more pressing predicament. He stood back up and shook himself off, steeling himself for another attempt. Carefully, he took a few precarious steps, one hoof in front of the other...in front of the other...in front of the other. Alright! A start. A wobbly one, but still a start. The new pegasus held off celebrating his new-found victory in favor of taking a few more steps, each a bit more confident than the last.

Excellent. Now that he had walking down (well, close enough, at any rate), he just had to pick a direction. Since he had no idea where he was, he figured he ought to just go straight until the forest ended. After all, it had to end eventually, right? Unfortunately, the forest was rather terrifying—particularly in the dark of the night—and it made his want to continue wane quickly when each and every tree, bush, and shrub started to look like some kind of scraggly, pointy, wooden monster ready to pounce on and eat him. The howls and other noises of what his ears told him were very real wildlife (despite internal protests to the contrary; ”just a dream...or...horrible...horrible nightmare...”) didn't help matters, either. As a result, the already-wobbly pegasus made his cautious way through what at least appeared to be some sort of path through the otherwise dense foliage.

As he continued along, the forest continued to be vastly dark, with thick brush and an abundance of tall, round trees. Every once in a while, he could spot a star-flecked sky through a gap in the high branches created by a clearing of said trees, shining its light down onto the forest floor. Upon reaching a particularly large clearing, he finally stopped and stared. It was the most beautiful sky he had ever seen (though that wasn’t saying much, since most of the skies he had seen consisted primarily of incoherent blobs of either orange, blue, or grey). It, with the greater illumination it provided in the clearing, helped to alleviate his feelings of terror and loneliness, if only a little, and as he stood there, he became increasingly enthralled by it. He started to trot along again, fixated on the wonderful, not scary opening in the canopy.

Thunk!

Down he went...again. With a few dazed blinks, he shook himself off, glancing about frantically to discover what he had just stumbled upon. What he found was a most terrifying figure, towering over his own as it stood up. The shadows generated by the night's modest light only allowed him to see the silhouette of this monster and its massive horn. Panic struck through him once again. He scrambled to his hooves and begged them to carry him away as quickly as possible. He shot off like a rocket, and he had almost made it to the edge of the clearing when the world went spinning again. A stray root sent him whirling in a tumbling ball of flailing appendages until he came to a sprawling halt to stare at the edge of the crown of leaves surrounding the clearing above.

That scene was quickly filled with that familiar silhouette again, and he immediately covered his eyes with his hooves. “Don't eat me,” he pleaded desperately. Oh good, he could still talk. That was simply fantastic. He could beg for his life just before it was ended in this strange place, in this strange body, under these incomprehensibly strange circumstances.

In reply, he heard...giggling? Yes, a lot of giggling. And then a sudden fizzing sound. As he tentatively peeked out from behind a hoof, the figure, visibly beaming at him, was now illuminated by a floating sparkler. It appeared to be a vibrantly cobalt blue unicorn with a mane and tail of ruby, each which also had bright yellow stripes throughout and were complemented by a pair of shockingly orange eyes. The hair of her (at least, by the giggling he was fairly certain it was a ‘her’) mane and tail were very straight, and her mane seemed to poke out over her eyes and forehead almost like it was exploding in some grandiose yet graceful display. It provided a stark contrast to his own mussed state, where his mane, tail, and coat in general were full of dirt and tangled up from repeated falls. It took him a moment to realize the red glow surrounding both the unicorn's horn and the sparkler, and another for him to make the connection between the two. Magic? Of course, most peculiar about this figure, now that he could see her fully in the bright light of the sparkler, was the image of what was almost certainly a bottle rocket in mid-flight on her flank.

“What?” she replied, still beaming despite the audible confusion on her voice. “Why would I eat you? That's just silly!” She went to nudge the tussled, white pegasus with a green mane and continued. “What's your name? I'm Pyra! Are you exploring, too? Ooh, we can explore together!”

The pegasus, still on his back, stared up at the unicorn standing over him, now himself looking altogether befuddled. “I-I...um...er,” he stammered, blinking as he tried to come up with the right words. He slowly rolled over and went to stand up—wobbling again—and considered this Pyra some more as he tried to form any kind of coherent thought.

She giggled again, her blurting interrupting his silence. “Hey! You look like a spearmint!”

What? Orbs of an emerald matching his mane lingered upon the strange being before him, then wandered down across his fur, then finally back to the unicorn. Huh. He kind of did look like a spearmint. “Spearmint...yeah.” He nodded absently. The gears were slowly starting to turn again now that he wasn't entirely frightened. He looked back up at the sky again, his features pensive. His thoughts were intruded upon again, however, as Pyra interjected once more.

“Well, it's nice to meet'cha, Spearmint! I think we're gonna have the best time ever and— ” she cut herself off mid-sentence with a drawn-out gasp. “Where's your cutie mark?!”

“...My what?”

“You know, when you find out your special talent, you get your cutie mark! Except yours isn't there!”

A feathered pony’s rump met the ground, and he stared at Pyra like she was crazy. There was another pause as they exchanged looks, the quirky, horned pony peering back at him. Finally, he broke the silence. “I have no idea where I am, how I got here, and least of all, what in the world you're going on about. Last thing I remember was going to bed, and then I woke up here. I'm more afraid than I can ever remember being, and I'm not entirely convinced I'm even awake right now. ” He couldn’t believe he’d just blurted that all out, especially to a stranger. What was he thinking?!

Pyra stared at “Spearmint” for several moments, jaw agape. When she managed to recompose herself, she canted her head to the side as she inquired, “So you don't know you're in the Everfree forest, or how you got here, or what a cutie mark is?”

The pegasus’ reply was a simple shake of his head.

“Well, hm. Okay,” replied the unicorn, tapping her chin thoughtfully with a hoof. She then pointed at the image on her flank, the bottle rocket coming into full view. It looked a bit spectacular in its own right, “Spearmint” had to admit. “See, I'm good with fireworks! I can make all kinds of fireworks, and I know how to use them all safely and make big, flashy shows for all my friends! So I got a firework as my cutie mark. Everypony gets one once they find out what their special talent is. That's why everypony knows what a cutie mark is!” Now Pyra was the one to seat herself as her face scrunched up into a thoughtful expression. “Everypony except you, I mean.”

Well, that made as much sense as anything in this crazy nightmare land, the not-a-pony pony surmised. He nodded his acceptance of this and decided to move on with the conversation. Nevermind that he was now apparently named Spearmint. He could deal with that. He liked spearmint anyway, and if this was some kind of crazy, messed-up dream, it's not like it much mattered what he was called. And nevermind the new vocabulary. Given his present state, it was really logical wording to use, and he was counting his luck that they didn't speak French or something here. Or at least that this pony didn't. “Uh, is that important?”

“Everypony gets a cutie mark!” the self-proclaimed fireworks expert repeated. “I mean, when you're a foal, you're still young enough that you haven't really had time to discover your special talent yet, but I don't think I've ever heard of anypony our size still being a blank flank. I suppose it could happen, but...well, it doesn't matter. We'll just have to figure out what your special talent is!”

Spearmint gave Pyra a frustrated look. He didn't much care about discovering any 'special talent.' He just wanted to get out of this nightmare-dream and go home. “Is that really necessary?”

“Why, you got something more fun to do?” The unicorn beamed excitedly, awaiting the winged pony's reply.

More fun? Well, he didn't suppose it would necessarily be fun at all. It was certainly what he wanted to do, but really...he had no idea how he got here, or exactly where “here” was, and he was still half-certain he was dreaming anyway, so what the hey. He felt his breath rush past his lips in a show of resignation before answering, “No, not really.”

Pyra beamed again and bounced. “C'mon! Let's go and explore! Maybe that's what your special talent is!”

“I...don't think so,” Spearmint said. “Besides, aren't there animals living in this forest? Sounds dangerous to me. Maybe we should just go find a town...”

“Oh, sure there are! There's timber wolves and cockatrices and all kinds of other critters here. There's even an Ursa cave! But it's okay,” Pyra reassured in her overly-enthusiastic tone, something that the mint-colored pegasus was beginning to think was something that was unfortunately a norm for her. “They don't seem to go this deep into the forest. In fact, since I got this deep, I haven't seen any animals. Only hear them in the distance! Weird, huh? But I guess that's the Everfree forest for ya. I mean, in a place where the clouds move on their own, anything can happen, right?”

The green and white pegasus blinked. He opened his mouth to say something, but chose to sigh and nod instead. He then began an unstable trot past Pyra to the nearest path.

The excitable unicorn followed, the sparkler still fizzing in the air beside her to illuminate their immediate area. Though it threw sparks everywhere, they didn't appear hot enough to ignite any of the lush and healthy underbrush. “If you really wanna find a town, Ponyville is the closest to Everfree,” she added. “But we're very deep in the forest. It's a long trot from here. Of course, not so long of a flight.”

The pegasus continued his wobbly canter, only pausing as he noticed Pyra (and consequently, her oh-so-comforting sparkler) had stopped as well, staring at him. “...What?”

“What, what? You're a pegasus! You can fly us!”

“I, erm,” Spearmint didn't really like being put on the spot like that. He wasn't really certain how to word it. He didn't know how to fly. “I can't. My...um...wing's, uh, sprained. I think.” He looked away, hoping that would be enough to quiet the unicorn for now.

Pyra frowned and furrowed a brow, but seemed to accept the answer for the time being. As she continued regarding him, her head canted to the side. “You're walking funny,” she noted with a tone of genuine concern on her voice. “Are your legs hurt, too?”

A pang of guilt hit Spearmint as his little lie already started to grow, but it was too late. “I, um, yeah...it's no big deal.”

“Oh gosh,” exclaimed the cobalt unicorn. “We have to get you to a hospital as soon as we get to Ponyville!”

“That's really not necessary...”

“It is so! And then I'll get a bunch of fountains and we'll set them off to help you feel better!”

The pegasus gave another inward sigh. “Can...you just lead the way to...Ponyville?” He really didn’t want to continue focusing on his disabilities which he'd just falsified into injuries. Why did this pony even care so much about a stranger? He appreciated the help, sure, but certainly two people who just met shouldn't worry over each other so much?

“'Course!” came the ever-ecstatic mare's reply. She promptly trotted on ahead, allowing Spearmint to canter, and occasionally stumble, behind her. Pyra seemed to have an endless supply of sparklers, which was a benefit because every now and then the one they were using as a light source would run out and required replacing. Spearmint hadn't noticed before that she was also wearing a small bag slung over her side that was supported by a strap around her neck, and it provided easy access to the replacement sparklers (and presumably other small fireworks). What intrigued the pegasus most, however, was the way Pyra ignited the sparklers. Upon levitating them out of the pack, she would promptly hold them up to her horn which produced an initial spark of its own. It was such a simple, yet fantastic and wonderful thing to watch, that when Pyra gave him a great, big smile, he hadn't immediately realized she was actually returning one he had been giving her. He blushed with embarrassment and scuffed a hoof against the ground. The unicorn just giggled and continued on, allowing the pegasus to continue following along.

~*~*~*~

Spearmint was left with several thoughts upon reaching the longer stretches of such a lengthy walk. One, he realized that while hooves were definitely more durable than regular feet, they could, in fact, become sore. Two, although now he had much more practice walking with four legs and was rather more capable of keeping his balance, the rest of his body was protesting his previous, precarious grasp on movement for such a long duration. Three, and probably worst of all, no dream or nightmare would be this drawn out, boring, and agonizingly achy. That left the unfortunate conclusion that he was either dead, or this was in fact a bizarre twist of reality that he would have to cope with. On the one hand...hoof...whatever...being dead was easier to believe. On the other, if this was what being dead was like, being dead sucked.

Either way, he realized he wouldn't be waking up from this anytime soon. That meant coping. That, in turn, meant learning how to deal with this new place that he was stuck in. With the new body he was stuck in. Of course, the only guide he had right now was Pyra. Not that she was a horrible pony as far as companions went, but she was a little louder than the pegasus would have preferred. His resulting plan thus far was to thank Pyra for all her help once they got to Ponyville and then lose her as quickly as possible. After that, he would be free to find a job or...whatever it was these ponies did here to survive. That was really his only focus. Survive. He had no friends, no ties. No one would really have reason to bother him, and he was fine with that.

Except that he was so busy with these thoughts that he never noticed Pyra stopping mid-stride. She put a hoof over her mouth as she looked to her new compatriot. “Shhh,” she hushed, the sparkler doused. “We're in timber wolf territory. Quiet time now.”

Of course it was.

Spearmint lowered his ears—something he noted consciously after the fact—and crouched up next to the cluster of cobalt and ruby as she hid behind a fallen log.

“You have to stay really close to the trees or they will see you,” she whispered, barely audibly. “Follow me...carefully.”

Spearmint wasn't really so sure about this, but he nodded anyway. There wasn't much else he could do right now but follow Pyra's lead, so that was exactly what he did. They tip-hoofed along, skirting clearings instead of cutting through them. The pace was painfully slow; that was in a literal sense for Spearmint because his body and hooves were aching as it was, and straining them to move with special care made them cry out even more than before. It wasn't surprising, then, that he should collapse halfway past a particularly large clearing that showed a very nice view of several caves. Caves that were almost certainly timber wolf dens, Spearmint thought. He landed with a soft 'thwump!' (though in his ears, it seemed to echo throughout the entire forest) and cringed, his unicorn companion stopping to turn with a look of concern as she alternated between discerning if the pegasus was okay and whether or not they had been detected. When she was certain there were no wolves coming, she went to assist the uncoordinated mess of mint-colored fur and feathers. “I'm fine. I don't need any help,” Spearmint complained as quietly as he could, huffing a burst of air out of his nose in indignation to try and shrug off his embarrassment. Upright once more, he took a moment to compose himself, simply nodding ahead for Pyra to continue forward. His legs complied surprisingly well when suddenly a 'SNAP!' resounded somewhere beneath him. With a wince, he looked down.

There, underneath his right hoof, were the bipartisan remnants of an old twig.

The howls started almost immediately. By the sound of it, they were surrounded, and it took not a split second for Spearmint to take Pyra's nonverbal queue to make a run for it. The duo started galloping as hard as they could, weaving back and forth through the trees and brush. Growls and howls continually made their way closer. Though Spearmint couldn't see any of the wolves yet, he could hear the brush being pushed aside behind him. He dared not look back. Instead, he glanced over to the clearing to their left. He quickly found out that was still a mistake.

Preserving their pace in pursuit of the pair of ponies were the truly terrifying timber wolves. What Spearmint didn't realize until now was that the “timber” was very literal: these wolves were actually made of timber, and it had an effect of giving them an even more terrible appearance. Shoulders and joints all ended in sharp, jagged points, and Spearmint couldn't help but think of the scraggly trees he'd seen when he'd first started wandering. Particularly disturbing, however, were their eyes. Though they may have simply been reflecting the light of the moon, those eyes seemed to glow a menacing red-orange, like a living fire. The pegasus' will to run suddenly doubled.

Unfortunately, increasing his pace also reduced his control. He wound up tripping over a tall shrub and came to a screeching halt. He cried out, but Pyra didn't seem to hear. The cobalt unicorn kept running and quickly fell out of sight. Meanwhile, Spearmint could hear the growls of the wolves getting ever-closer. He pushed himself up and backed up against the trunk of a large tree, shrinking down as small as he could. He could see those eyes peering out from the dark, slowly approaching. They were staring right at him.

He cowered. This is it, he thought. I'm turned into a pony, and after only a few hours, I'm going to be eaten by nightmare monsters.

To top it all off, there was a hole in the canopy of the tree above him just big enough to allow a small beam of moonlight to drop down in front of him, allowing him to see in detail as the pack of timber wolves prowled out of the shadows into it, looking at him with those terrible, hungry eyes. He watched those wooden paws pad perilously closer, fangs ferociously fanned out. It was unreal. He didn't want to die, especially not this way! Fear, however, had him locked in place. As he looked from one predator to the next, he couldn't think of any way out of this. He was going to die.

CRACK!

Both Spearmint and the wolves looked up with surprise at the sudden, loud noise.

CRACK! CRACK! CRACKCRCRCRACKACRACKACRACKCRCRACK! Friiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhhhoooooooooo! WhaBOOM!!!

The forest suddenly lit up with both light and sound. The timber wolves began quickly backing off before entirely turning tail to flee. The peagsus looked up in wonderment as he saw several colorful explosions of light through that little hole in the canopy. Fireworks! He had been saved...by fireworks! Not just any fireworks, he realized, as his gaze returned to ground level. There, between a pair of trees, stood a cobalt-colored unicorn with a red and yellow mane.

Pyra.

Spearmint had never been so happy to see anyone in his entire life. He galloped over and threw his forelegs around her in a big hug. Then, blinking, he quickly pulled away and tried to brush the awkwardness out of his mane with a hoof. The pyrotechnic unicorn just gave him a big grin, a string of expired firecrackers floating nearby. “Thank you,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I...that...that was the best fireworks display I ever saw.”

Pyra responded, beaming, “I'm glad you liked it! Now c'mon, we're close to Ponyville!”

The relieved pegasus bore no argument with that. The two continued on their way, the rest of their trip through the forest comparatively uneventful.

~*~*~*~

Spearmint was tired. He had been exhausted, but he'd spent a night at the hospital, giving him the advantage of a decent night's (well, and half of a morning's) rest. Getting comfortable had been an interesting task in itself for a few minutes, but he had managed to just flop on his side and finally fall asleep. Now he was still laying on the hospital bed, recovering. Pyra was there as well, though she appeared to be fairing much better than he. She was bouncing around as a poor nurse with a white fur coat and red mane which smartly matched her uniform (and also had neither wings nor a horn, Spearmint noted) who was insisting with frustration that pop-snappers were not appropriate for use inside a hospital. After all, patients were trying to rest...as she reminded the ecstatic unicorn repeatedly. As this went on, the pegasus reflected on the previous night. A doctor had seen both Pyra and her new pegasus friend, and then a nurse had treated Spearmint's abundance of cuts and bruises from his excessive falling as well as a few minor injuries his unicorn savior had sustained. Otherwise, the doctor had cleared the both of them with a clean bill of health, noting that there were no actual sprains or other similar injuries in either Spearmint's legs or wings. He decided it was best not to tell Pyra this by avoiding the subject altogether.

He climbed off the bed, wandering past the unicorn who stopped bouncing to turn her attention to the pegasus and trotted over to catch up with him. He sighed inwardly.

“Where are we going? Ooh, we could get those fountains,” she proclaimed excitedly. “Or celebrate with cupcakes! Or—oh! We could celebrate with cupcakes while we watch the fountains!”

Spearmint closed his eyes for a brief moment as they made their way for the door, steeling himself for what he was about to do. Upon stepping outside, he stopped, stepped aside, and put his front hooves on Pyra's shoulders as he looked into her eyes. “Pyra, look,” he began with a sigh. “You're a very nice pony, and I can't thank you enough for saving my life, but you really should stay away from me. I'm not a good per...I'm not a good pony.” He thought about his lie and, worse, about how he could have gotten Pyra killed when she came back for him. He thought about how he was going to ditch her just because he thought she was a little loud. He was still doing that last one, of course, but now it was for different reasons. He looked down, taking his hooves off of the unicorn. “I'll only wind up hurting you,” he concluded.

The usually energetic mare stared intently at the minty pegasus and frowned, her face scrunching up into that 'concerned Pyra' expression. “No, you look,” she responded, putting one hoof forward. “You are a good pony. I can tell. Like I can tell a good skyrocket.” She nodded matter-of-factly.

Spearmint considered this for a few moments, then spoke. “But I--”

“Nope.”

“You don--”

“Nope.”

“Can I just--”

“Nope.”

“I really don't--”

“Nope.”

He sighed. “You're not gonna let this go, are you?”

Pyra grinned. “Nope!”

“...Fine,” he conceded with a sigh. “Where do we go next?”

“Sugarcube Corner!”

Sugarcube Whatnow? The pegasus grumbled quietly, trying to figure out this new puzzle as he followed the dark blue unicorn down the street. It had been empty when they had first arrived in Ponyville, but now that it was nearly midday, ponies of all sorts of bright colors were milling about the little town as they went about their business. As he was stewing in his own frustration, both out of his inability to get rid of Pyra and from the alien nature of his situation in general, one thought crossed his mind most predominantly.

Why me?

Chapter 2: Adorable Distinctions

Chapter 2: Adorable Distinctions

Just when you thought there weren’t going to be any cameos!

Sugarcube Corner, as it turned out, was actually a nice place...or so Spearmint thought, now that he knew what it was. He inhaled the alluring aroma of the various available goods the bakery offered. Beside him, the bouncing ball of blue and red fuzz known as Pyra looked about ready to explode from excitement, and the pegasus was genuinely worried that she might do just that. However, to keep himself relaxed, he felt it was better to focus elsewhere. From the back room, he could hear the hustle and bustle of the shop’s owners--the Cakes, he had been informed--with a metallic clatter here and a ceramic rattle there. His eyes wandered across caramel-colored wooden walls, swirling, peppermint pillars, and taffy trim. The sugary sensations brought on by his sight were only supplemented by those he could still smell, sweet and sublime as they were, and he couldn’t suppress his starvation any longer. It had only been a day or so, at least by his count, but he hadn’t eaten in all that time. His stomach agreed with a rumble that it had been much too long, and he found himself browsing the available stock. Pie, cake, muffins, and an arrangement of other various delectable delights fell under Spearmint’s appraising eye.

It was then that the pony he had to assume was Mrs. Cake stepped out from the kitchen. The bright blue pony, with a mane that was two different shades of pink, wore a welcoming smile as she greeted her two customers. “Well hello, Pyra Technic!” she said warmly. “Anything I can get for you and your friend today?”

Spearmint and Pyra exchanged looks before both of them focused on the mare behind the counter. “Cupcakes!” chimed in the pyrotechnic pony.

“Um...” The pegasus took another moment, deciding he wanted something at least slightly more wholesome than that. “A...muffin, if you don’t mind? Nothing too sweet, please.”

“Alright!” Mrs. Cake replied, still beaming. “That’ll be four bits, dear.”

Oh no, the minty pony thought with a frown. He nearly panicked for a moment before the money floated onto the counter in front of him, surrounded by a red glow. He gave a sigh of relief. Saved by the unicorn again, who just smiled back at him. Meanwhile, the cupcake-colored mare behind the counter retrieved their ordered items which were promptly caught in that same red glow.

“C’mon!” Pyra beckoned him with a grin. She made her way over to a booth by one of the windows and scooted into it. Spearmint followed, sitting opposite his unicorn companion. “So what are we gonna try first?”

The pegasus paused, his mouth half-open from trying to bite into the muffin precariously perched between his hooves. Then, the sound of the door opening brought his thoughts back into focus, and he blinked as a brow slowly crept its way up the left side of his face. “...What?”

“To get your cutie mark, silly!”

“Oh,” Spearmint replied, staring at his muffin. To be honest, he didn’t really care about getting a cutie mark. He continued, apathetically, “Um...I dunno.”

The merry mare chewed on her cupcake thoughtfully. “Maybe we could try bowling! Or...hm...you’re a pegasus! Maybe your special talent is flying!”

“I don’t think my special talent is flying, Pyra.”

“Why not?”

He couldn’t tell her that it was because he didn’t even know how to fly. He had wings; certainly that and the way she was acting implied he should know. “I’m just...not that good. That’s all.” He stared at his muffin before taking a bite of it. “Maybe s--”

He was cut off, however, by a giant, pink blur filling his vision accompanied by a long, drawn out GASP!! The mint-colored colt sputtered, nearly choking on the muffin, and then immediately dove underneath the table. Oh god, it’s gonna kill me!

Wait, his thought continued once he’d had a moment to collect himself. What’s going to kill me? He debated poking his head above the table for a moment, weighing the danger of doing so. On one hand--er, hoof...er...oh screw it, this place was too messed up for it to even matter anymore. He cautiously rose up above the lip of the table. There, standing next to Pyra, was a bright pink pony--this one also lacking wings and a horn. She beamed broadly, his unicorn companion mirroring the expression. As she began to speak, she started to bounce around emphatically.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! I couldn’t help noticing that I’d never seen you before, and if I’ve never seen you before then that means you’re new ‘cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville! And if I don’t know you, that means we can be new friends! Oh! And ‘cause you’re new, we can throw you a welcome party!”

White ears folded back in line with a green mane. “Um...that’s nice and all, really, but I’m not much of a party, uh...pony.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” chimed in the unicorn with a mouthful of cupcake.

“Fireworks!”

“Ooh, yeah!”

Oh no. Now there’s two of them. “That’s great and all, really, but...um, we have to...uh...figure out what my special talent is! Remember?” The pegasus winced the moment he said it. What was he thinking?!

“Oh yeah!”

“Huh?” Pinkie Pie looked confused, then leaned over to look at the Spearmint’s flank before letting out another emphasized gasp.

Here we go again. “Yes, I have no cutie mark. No, I’m not particularly concerned about it. There just isn’t anything I’m particularly good at. Or whatever. It’s no big deal, really.”

“But everypony--”

“...Has a cutie mark. Except for little fillies. Yeah, I know.” He stared at the pink pony, who promptly stared back at him with an almost suspicious look. “I don’t mean to be rude, but is it alright if I finish my muffin?”

Really, Pinkie, he’s just misplaced. Don’t worry about it. He’s a dirty, filthy little being called a human that is capable of nothing but hatred and self-destruction, but that’ll be taken care of soon enough. Wait...the author says I wasn’t supposed to tell you that yet. Crap.

Um...carry on.

“...Okie-dokey lokey...” She responded in a suspicious tone, and, with that, the pink party pony backed away slowly before disappearing up the stairs behind the shop counter. Pyra waved an emphatic goodbye.

The pegasus was left blinking, alternating looking from that stairway to his unicorn companion before his eyes finally came to rest on his half-finished muffin. With a silent exhale, his jaw extended to try to fit in another bite. Meanwhile, the cobalt-colored unicorn seemed to feel it prudent to begin the conversation anew.

“Ooh!” She exclaimed, looking through a magazine of some kind that she had pilfered from a nearby table. “Look at this, Spear!”

Spearmint looked up, swallowing his bite to take another as he browsed over the article in question. Displayed prominently was an earthy-brown unicorn with a white mane whose face bore a set of rather large and heavy-looking glasses. His cutie mark was difficult to make out from the image, but to the pegasus it looked like some kind of star, or possibly what a spark of magic might look like if it were to be graphically represented, with a scroll overlaid atop it. Reading the article, it briefly summarized the life of a pony by the name of Mystic Method, whose specialization was in the study of various magics, and theoretical magic in particular. Further down the page, it elaborated on a thesis the pony had written about cutie marks. Various theories and speculations from Mystic about how they formed, whether or not they were predetermined, and the underlying magic behind them were detailed throughout, accompanied by speculation from the writer of the article itself.

“Well?”

The minty colt canted his head to the side, peering at Pyra. “Well what?”

“Well, should we go see him? I bet he can help us get you your cutie mark!”

“We don’t even know where he is.”

“It says right here he works in Fillydelphia! We could catch a balloon there!”

“...A balloon.”

“Yeah!”

“To...Fillydelphia.”

“Yeah!”

“To talk to some stranger, who has never heard of us, about getting me a cutie mark.”

“Yeah!”

“...Why do I keep letting you drag me along for these things?”

Pyra just beamed and scooted out of the booth. Spearmint reluctantly followed, quickly finishing off the last of his muffin as he did so. As she pushed open the door, the unicorn waved a hoof at Mrs. Cake, who smiled and returned the wave before returning to work. The duo then exited the bakery and stepped into the square where the pyrotechnic pony promptly paraded them along toward the balloon station. Her winged companion wondered just why they were taking a balloon of all things as their mode of transport, and only realized all-too-late that his wondering had been aloud. “I guess we could wait for a train,” the unicorn explained as they went along. “But for just the two of us, a balloon is so much faster! Don’tcha think?”

The white-coated pegasus gave a sigh and nod of resignation. He supposed it could be interesting. He’d never taken more than a car anywhere before. With this new positive outlook, Spearmint actually looked forward to the balloon ride. He beamed brightly as they approached the balloon station, which was significantly larger than he had initially expected. It was by no means excessive in its size, but he guessed--based upon the scale of the balloons currently present--that it could provide dock for at least six, perhaps eight multiple-passenger balloons at any given time. The front of the station was marked by the charter booth--where Pyra was presently negotiating their passage--and the wooden stair which lead to the elevated dock beyond. Spearmint made his way over to it as Pyra completed their purchase and met up with him there.

The two stopped at the portion of the raised wooden walkway that was labeled “DOCK 2” in large, painted letters. There, a brown earth pony with a sand-colored mane, who wore a pair of goggles over his eyes, was busy looking over the various parts of his balloon. The pegasus and unicorn stood on the dock, watching with interest before the balloon pilot finally noticed them. He offered a nod and a beckoning hoof. “Hop on in, folks. We’ll be ready to leave in just a minute.”

The two companions complied, crawling into the carrier. Spearmint noted that it was large enough to fit the three of them comfortably, but more than four or five might have left the vessel feeling a bit cramped. Looking up, he saw the brightly colored balloon, its girth expanding outward enough to block the majority of his view of the sky beyond. The bulk of it was red, though he could see the edge of some form of bright yellow logo on the side. He thought it might be a sun, though it was impossible to tell at his present angle. His focus was interrupted by the pilot climbing back into the basket, jostling the pegasus back into the moment.

With that, the pilot promptly chomped down on the rope tying the balloon to the dock and yanked it loose. Following a light buck to the dock, the balloon had pushed off, drifting away from the station. Hot Air then pushed down on a floor pedal with a hoof, a fire flaring up from the pillar-like apparatus in the middle of the basket and into the open space of the balloon above, before it tempered to a more reserved, but constant, flame. Spearmint looked over the side of the basket, watching the world below shrink away as they made their ascent. Pyra trotted up beside the pegasus and watched with him. He had never been this high up before, and his eyes widened in amazement. As he saw Ponyville grow smaller and smaller and the grander view of the world open up to him, he felt both terrified and exhilarated. He felt the high winds blowing through his mane, the smell of various blooming flowers and tall grasses passing through his nostrils with an oddly appetising aroma. Further out, he noted the tall mountains surrounding much of the region. Behind them, the sun was making an approach towards one of those sets of mountains, while on their right lay what Spearmint now knew to be the Everfree Forest.

Shaking her head, Pyra chimed in proudly, “Manehattan, born and raised! But I wanted to share my fireworks and explore the world, so I did!” The unicorn beamed brightly, her wild mane only made to look more so as it rustled in the wind. Spearmint noted that, with the sun going down, her coat bore a rather similar resemblance to the shade of the encroaching night sky. A bit pretty even, he thought.

...Not in that way! Jeez. We’re only in the second chapter, for Celestia’s sake!

The goggled earth pony turned his attention to the mint-colored pegasus. “And how about you,” he asked, noticing the wings. “Cloudsdale?”

Spearmint froze for a second, then just half-nodded silently. He opened his mouth as he tried to think of something more to say when a crack of thunder from somewhere behind him made him jump in surprise. As he spun around, his wide eyes caught sight of the clouds he’d seen earlier. Only now, they were close enough to see it was a full-fledged thunderstorm...and the balloon was headed right into it!

“I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Air, but shouldn’t we avoid storms like that?” Pyra asked with a hint of concern.

“Can’t we land?” proposed the pegasus passenger.

“‘Fraid not,” Hot Air neighed. “Nearest marked shelter is just outside Fillydelphia. Now, stay low and hang on. This ride might get a bit bumpy.”

Spearmint swallowed, looking down at the sight that he thought was so breathtaking when they had first lifted off. It was still breathtaking, of course, only now he was not thinking about how amazing it was at all. There was a light wood below, barely visible anymore as the sun hid behind the mountains, but it almost seemed to reach up at them with crooked arms in the darkness. The clouds ahead rumbled threateningly, and the wind continued to pick up from a calming breeze to something much more violent. He looked to Pyra for some semblance of comfort, but her worried appearance only had the opposite effect. He huddled up into one corner of the basket to ride out the increasing turbulence. Hot Air was entirely focused on the balloon controls, trying to keep the craft as stable as possible.

Spearmint thought he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

Just then, another crack of thunder exploded. It was louder than any of the others the pegasus had heard so far. In fact, it was louder than anything he had heard in his entire life. The balloon shook and lurched downward, causing Spearmint to feel a sudden nauseating, floating feeling before he managed to wrap his forelegs around a rope tied to the side of the basket nearby. Once he was a slight amount more confident in his stability, he chanced a look up. There, near the very top of the balloon, was a hole. Not just any hole, however; this hole was on fire and growing rapidly, causing the previously stable, round shape of the balloon to almost instantaneously degenerate into an incoherent, billowing mess. As if to add insult to injury, rain suddenly started pouring into the basket, dousing all inside as if a large bucket had simply been emptied on top of them.

And worst of all, they were falling now, of course. Spearmint didn’t need to look over the side of the basket to see that. He could feel it. The rush of the air, the inertial effects as he held onto that rope for dear life. His eyes were closed tightly now, and not even because of the water. If they were going to die, he didn’t want to see it. He couldn’t bear to see it. He felt the impact as the basket hit something. He wasn’t sure what. He heard a terrible crunching noise, but underneath the roar of the storm, he couldn’t tell if it was the basket or bone. Or both. He also thought he heard shouting, but over all of the other noise, it was difficult to tell. He didn’t have time to find out. The next thing he felt was something hitting his head.

And then everything just stopped.

Foreword

Mints and Magic

Foreword

Warning: This story contains zany antics, cheesy humor, and repetitive shattering, rebuilding, and subsequent reshattering of the fourth wall. If you are into gratuitously graphic violence, graphic romance, graphic design, graphic novels, graphing, graphical representations, computer-generated graphics, or graffiti, I apologize; this story contains none of those. However, it does contain a degree of violence and occasional hints at some mature themes. If you do enjoy a nice, long adventure with some emotional tugging along the way, this just might be something you'll like to read. Whatever your tastes, if you choose to continue, I do hope you have fun along the way!

Prologue

Prologue

Some might tell you that long ago, in the times before Earth was consumed by hate, war, and intolerance, there was a brief, yet most certainly important period of peace and harmony that was later lost to history. Supposedly, none realized that importance at the time, and few remain who still hold the tales of it, but those who do say that it was from this time that the stories of magic truly arose. Others claim that magic still exists today, if only in small pockets, existing as minor phenomena that pass so briefly as to cause one who witnesses them to question their very reality in the first place. Then, there are those who claim to know the secret behind powering such magic, even going so far as to say that it is a fundamental existential state which every being—whether they are aware of it or not—tries to achieve.

Of course, everyone with a lick of common sense knows that such cries are nothing more than fairy tales. After all, human beings are known to be terrible creatures at their core and always have been. They perpetuate their own cycle of self-destruction, separating themselves from love and friendship in favor of bigotry and solitude. They go so far as to consolidate their bitterness in groups, reinforcing their hatred with that of others. Anyone who were to assess the human race would know just how hopelessly corrupt their lot truly was, and how they would surely spread their corruption to others should they have the slightest chance to do so. And, of course, human beings have never had magic. That would just be silly.

It is certainly a good thing, then, that they have no magic with which to escape from that wretched little ball they reside upon, trapped in the middle of a vast nothingness so that they have no means through which to spread that corruption to other, more pure and caring societies...