Sometimes, I want to leave this world -- this terrible world of black pits and stinging burns all over body parts my primal mind cannot name.... The agonizing world of thorns without knowing roses and servant's work without knowing play.... The lifeless world of endless pain and suffering, never knowing the true innocence of foalhood...
...Then I remember that death must feel the same as life as I know it, falling into an endless black hole, being ripped apart into ashes piece by piece, ending with the heart.
Every night, I cradle the carefully preserved other half of my horn, feeling the ridged texture that lines up perfectly with my torn horn like a jigsaw puzzle. It taunts me, for it once was very much mine and mine alone. As soon as it grew big enough, it was stolen, snapped from my own body, a broken bone that takes years to mend. One of the many things that have been stripped away from me, one day to turn into ashes, forgotten forever.
I am just a mere blemish on this earth, meant to serve and only to serve. I am told to get this or do that, never to go do what I want to do. I am locked indoors day and night, forlornly tucked away in a corner with the dust as my ignorant parents yell at each other all the while. Without me, the universe would be the exact same -- perhaps a bit more innocent and less loud. Perhaps my parents would be better ponies, loving each other and listening to what the other has to say for once. It pains me and my aching skull, forever throbbing in the place of my snapped horn, to think that the ponies I know would be better off without me. But I have nothing to live for, nothing to die for, or nothing to fight for. So I listen to their shouts. I follow their orders. I do whatever they tell me, for I learned the hard way that when I don't, bad things happen that usually hurt too. For a while, whenever I disobeyed, they would place me near the window and force me to look at the sun, laughing cruelly the whole time as the disk burned into my eyes. Slowly and painfully, the world was sucked of first its color, a greedy sponge soaking up the beauty. It turned a few shades of gray, then faded to a foggy, cold black. I haven't been able to find my way out of the fog since.
What use am I with a blank flank with red, itchy skin showing through from countless spanks, a snapped horn that cannot create enough sparks to light a candle, and eyes that can't work properly? I don't see why my parents still use me if I'm as good as broken by now. The only thing they have left to hurt is my bruised but beating heart, and I'm starting to think of letting them. After all, what use am I in the world but to serve these merciless parents of mine?
I hear a grating cry.
"I need a sandwich!"
I see a crimson-red glow towering over me. Red. By now I know that means bad. Even though I cannot see the world around me, I can see what I call "auras". They come from living creatures. I have figured out that green means good, and red means bad. My parents are a deep crimson.
As I am thinking this, my father repeats in the same powerful voice, "Did you hear me? I said I needed a sandwich! Now get me one right now." The last two words are uttered in practically a growl, and I jump two feet in the air before scrambling into the general direction of the kitchen. Or is it the living room? I'm still getting used to this whole "not-seeing" thing.
I feel around for the refrigerator handle with my hoof, and I find that it is a few feet away. I tug and tug, and the door stays in its place stubbornly. I hear a voice in the distance yelling, "You better hurry up or you're going to get your cutiemark again!!"
I don't need to be able to see to know who's yelling. My flank stings at the mention of the word "cutiemark", my father's special term for spanking my blank flank. I feel so horrible for all the fillies my age getting their cutiemarks, hoof on bare flesh, sting after sting that's not from a bee. The pain lasts for weeks until, after getting a few cutiemarks, it just feels numb.
My flank screams at me to get going or get another cutiemark, and that probably explains the small surge of strength to open the fridge. After a few frustrating minutes of trying to tell the cheese slices from the turkey slices, I finally finish making a sandwich. I can tell that it is hardly staying together, but taking any more time to fix it would definitely earn me a cutiemark. I throw the sandwich in a baggie and rush into the adjacent room before I can receive any more cutiemark threats. I hand over the baggie carefully. "Here, fathe--master," I correct myself swiftly.
My father master takes a few painstaking minutes to carefully inspect the sandwich. I hear him opening the baggie, and I listen to the rustling of lettuce against hooves. "Um...is it alright?" I ask quietly. My father remains silent. The aura glows red.
"You call this a sandwich, you good-for-nothing blank flank?"
Oh no. Those words. I know what they mean...
Before I can squeal in pitiful protest, I feel my frail body being hoisted into the air before I can suck in a breath.
The hoof comes before I can brace myself. Breathless and defenseless, I weather the storm of flying hooves upon my red skin with a few whispered protests.
Spank!
"Ow, no..."
Spank!
"Please, stop..."
I feel my father's gaze boring into me as he bellows, "Stop complaining, you stupid filly!"
"We'll just have to spank her into silence." A voice slithers across my hearing. I see another crimson aura approach my peripheral vision, and I can feel a second set of eyes on me.
Mother.
My whispered protests are drowned out by a deafening slap that sounds like the crack of a whip against my thin hide. I scream in agony. A few seconds pass by. In those seconds the sounds echo across the room, bouncing off the walls like a pinball machine, until exiting an open window and travelling through the town of Ponyville.
The sounds swerves and curves and swoops and dips until it reaches a certain lemon-coated pony with a long brown mane. Her turquoise eyes widen as the sound enters her ears. Trouble, she senses immediately. Big trouble.
The moment the sound reaches the mysterious pony's ears, I feel something different inside of me. I feel it being poured into the basin of my very being until I am so brimming over with it that my body is quivering with energy. My parents notice the strange vibrating and look at me. "What are you trying to pull, you blank flank?"
Normally, I would just say nothing and let them spank me harder. But this quivering feeling comes with a horrible, tingly feeling of annoyance...anger...frustration. And whenever my parents insult or hurt me, that tingly feeling rises, growing more itchy and unbearable, until...until...
"That is IT!" I say with a brave snarl of defiance, only it is not tinted with red like my father's. It is green, glowing green, and wisps of green smoke float around me as I find my hoof suddenly striking out and embedding in my father's red belly. The aura floats back,and I hear a gasp of pain as he lets go of me. The trusty ground meets my hooves again, and I run across it, flustered. My mind is two seconds behind what is happening, so I let my flying hooves take over. I hear a second set of hooves right behind mine and recognize them as my mother's, but before she can hoist me back into the air, I feel my back hoof lunging out towards her jaw. I hear a satisfying crack, and my mother yelps. There are no longer any sets of hooves trailing mine.
I look behind me one last time, slowing down a bit. A crimson aura is slowly standing up. Father does not give up easily.
"Get back here, slave!" He yells at the top of his lungs. The noise is almost as deafening as the spank he delivered earlier. I wait for the echoes to quiet, then, as calmly but firmly as I can, I say,
"You do not own me anymore."
I hear the light pop of jaws dropping in disbelief as I gallop away from one life and into another...
My hooves can feel the satisfying feeling of a rug outside my parents door, the door to my past. I swiftly yet carefully run down the halls until I feel a slight dip in front of me. I cautiously move my right hoof foreword and feel around for a surface. My hoof finds a hard surface, it seems to head downwards either to pony hell or my freedoom. I take a deep breath and move my left hoof even further down, "This could be a long drop to my death or another flat surface." I slowly lower my hoof down to feel the relief of another surface, they seem to be steps going down. Then I realized what I am on...Stiars. This will be a great challenge for me since my parents apartment room has only one floor. I lift my right hoof up and feel to my right, a wall. "Okay as soon as I find the stair's railing I'll be able to go straight down and out of here." My ultra sensitive ears twitch to the sound of hooves, "my father..he is coming for me. If he catches me I surely will be punished for attempting to escape..or worse."
My body gets coated in a emotion I am well aware of..the feeling of fear. I waste no time using my luck by running down the stairs, as I feel the steps ending I feel a little breeze against my face. "The door to my freedom is almost in my reach." my lips quiver as I make a little smile. I Haven't smiled in years, the feeling of hope and happiness feels so heavenly. Once my hooves touch the floor I run foreword, waiting to find that wonderful door into my new life. Suddenly my face hurts like my flank when I run into a hard surface. I sit my sore flank down on the floor and then I carefully bring my left hoof up to my eye. I flinch from the slight pain I caused myself by touching the rim of my eye. "Great, another boo-boo nopony can heal. But..if this is the cost of freedom I'll shake it off" I carefully get up off of my hooves and brush my fur off. I reach out my right hoof to feel the surface of something I recognize all to well, a door. I eagerly move my hoof around to search for the door's handle.
The smooth round feeling of the door knob registers in my mind. My lips don't waste time to form a huge smile. I quickly turn the door knob and push the door with all of my strength. Smells lingering in Ponyville enter my snout as the door slowly creaks open. Green auras of all shades are walking around everywhere. I can hardly believe my eyes, I'm just steps away into the world. I hear hoof steps behind me, if my father catches me it's all over. I waste no time to run out the door, I can feel dirt underneath me. It feels so good, even if it's dirty it's a sign of life. Ahead of me are tall green auras, trees. The one time I got my hooves on a book was totally worth the 38 cutiemarks. The trees are from the everfree forest, the book said that only brave ponies would step hoof in this forest. Well my life may be at stake so I guess I just have to take my chances. As I continue on towards the forest, my hooves feel grass underneath me. I slow down a little bit to check if anypony is following me, no hoof steps but my own. For the rest of my way a trot on deeper into the forest, my eyes start to slowly close. Mother and father haven't feed me or gave me anything to drink for 2 weeks, it's amazing how I'm still alive. I try to continue moving forward but then I collapse, as my vision fades to black I can smell something awful and hear a low growl in the distance.
I wake up hours later it seems and look around, my body freezes when I see a strangely shaped red aura behind me. The creature growls and moves closer, it can smell my fear. Suddenly it hits me, there's a timber wolf behind me. I waste no time but to jump to my hooves and run. The timberwolf chases me, I'm fast but it's faster. I run into a giant green aura, a huge tree blocks my path. I'm cornered by the timber wolf, this might be the end. To think I just got into the world to get eaten by this thing. I do the only thing I can do in this situation, scream for "HELP!"
Suddenly a bright green aura dives at the timber wolf from the sky, it appears to be a female pegasus. The pegasus fights with the timber wolf, I hear the sound of the creature's yelp. The red aura now fades to black, the timber wolf is dead. I curl into a ball and cry as the pegasus walks over to me.
"Hey there, I won't hurt you." the pegasus says lovingly, I look up at her, "Do you have a name?" she asks me. I shake my head no, "Well my name's Gingersnap little one." she carefully puts her hooves around me and lifts me up. I notice that her aura is brighter near her chest.
"T..Thank you for saving my life." I say shyly.
"Your very welcome." she says as she nuzzles me gently
My stomach rumbles with hunger, gingersnap chuckles, "Would you like to come to my place to get a snack?" she asks me lovingly. I nod my head, "Yes please!" Gingersnap then places me on her back and then she walks towards her place. As we walk back into town a rose's thorn brushes on my fur and into my hoof. I flinch a little but then I carefully take the thorn out of my hoof.
Gingersnap turns her head to me and says, "Your a tough little filly aren't you? I think I'll call you..Rosalina Thorn, or Rosey for short." she nuzzles me again. I nod in agreement, "I have a name!" I cheer in my head. As we walk out of the forest I get comfy on Gingersnap's back. Eventually I close my eyes and take a nap.
