For Forgiveness

Lamentable Loneliness

Chapter 1

The dank rain pelted heavily against the blue pony’s pelt as she wondered through the Everfree Forest. She was tired, so, so tired and sore but she simply let her hooves lead the way through the clustered trees and broken bushes. This pony was quite obviously Trixie and she was suffering in the exile that both other ponies put on her, and she put on herself. In all honesty, Trixie felt completely and utterly stupid and it would help if she had some pony to confide in, but she didn’t. The unicorn mare had no one and that was the way things would be for her now.

Oh, Trixie wished she wasn’t such a show off, and oh did she wish that she didn’t have to try and be the best at everything and lash out at ponies who could have become her friends. And above all, oh did she wish that instead of trying to stay tough after Twilight tricked her with the amulet, that she explained the to the lavender pony that she had nowhere to go, and that she wanted help after the other (and more likeable) unicorn accepted her apology. A few bitter, salty tears rolled down her soaked cheeks and mixed with the cold rain water that currently stained her fur.

Trixie didn’t have the hat and cape she cherished above all else, some rogue ponies stole them from her to sell for a few quick bits. She’d lost her cart too, ponies in Trottingham had kicked it to pieces when she arrived and drove her out, which was surprising for the type of ponies living there. Now, what was she? Homeless, sore, tired, sick and heartbroken. What did she want? For ponies to actually like her and want her, and to care about her positively, even just for a day. She wanted a home and some food; a roof above her head. And most of all, she wanted some pony there for her, to look after her and care for her, even if it was all just simply platonic love and cuddling.

But of course, she was almost certain that would never happen.

“What is Trixie? She’s just a lie... A fraud... A faker...” The pony’s words were choked sobs and sounded barely louder than a whisper, “They were right... Trixie would never be ‘Great’ and ‘Powerful’ only ‘Low’ and ‘Sorrowful’...  I’m useless.”

She slumped down and more sobs were choked out as she shook from the cold, the wet and the current wave of tears that cascaded from her eyes. She was in agony; almost every inch of her body hurt. Her hooves were pained from the almost constant walking and her back hurt for the same reason, that and the strenuous bawling. Her head pounded from the constant storm of her thoughts clashing in her head and the effect of the rain chilling her.

She was getting dizzy and a wound on her stomach began to hurt again. Only a few nights ago, Trixie was attacked by timber wolves which had managed to slice her stomach and cut across both her cutie marks in an attempt to grip her; this added to her sadness. The pride she had in herself, the mark of her ‘talent’ had been mutilated by a group of angry, hungry hounds who she’d only just managed to outrun.  Even thinking about that night made the wound ache but she wanted to carry on in her trek through the congealed forest until she found somewhere secluded and dry to curl up and maybe sleep. Though, in her condition, she might not hold on through the night and not just because of how damaged she was.

Despite her hardest attempts, Trixie couldn’t get the blood off her fur; this would attract more beasts.  While the rain dampened the scent she seemed to have the upper hand, and whatever magic she could muster the strength to use also came in handy, but it wasn’t enough.  Now she was losing all hope, strength and whatever willpower she had to carry on but she kept going anyway.  If she was lucky, maybe she’d get dry.

Most ponies would call her pathetic, getting so upset over being kicked out of Ponyville but that wasn’t just it. Trixie never did have a good life at all and when she managed to get herself on stage she felt special, important, like ponies cared about her but it all took one mistake to damage her reputation and bring her down faster than the rain that tumbled down around her.

What made her life so bad? Well it started when she was a foal and she was abandoned. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t remember her parents or why she was abandoned, she didn’t know if they didn’t want her or died or anything, just that she didn’t have any family. Naturally, when she managed to get herself into a magic school (after endless hours of rigorous practicing however) she was bullied. She was bullied for being small, being an orphan, being a blank flank and of course being poor, but she still tried her hardest to succeed. The blue furred filly would just push on and on until she reached her goal, even with other ponies beating her and trying to drag her down; she just wanted to succeed.

Those days came flooding back to her and she was suddenly overwhelmed with a sudden realization.

Some of the ponies from her childhood would have seen her downfall and maybe it was them who were the ones to kick down her cart, but it’s not like that really mattered, she couldn’t change what had happened.  Trixie sighed softly even though breathing heavily in any sense was almost pure agony. She missed those days in some sense, because in those days, even with all those ponies hurting her and beating her and dragging her down, she still managed to keep her head up, smile and carry on. That’s not the way she’d become now; every pony’s opinion meant too much.

She was slipping now, not in a literal sense but on the inside. Her head was pounding worse and worse and the wounds she’d gained were close to reopening and that could be the end of her and even through everything, she wasn’t really sure she wanted to die. She’d been through so much and fought her way to survival and she wasn’t about to just give up, but she had nothing left. Noticing a small grove in some bushes, she curled up there and waited for the unforgiving rain to pass by.

But as she fell into a deep sleep, the dull crunch of hooves on twigs, no matter how drowned it was by the rainfall, filled her ears but she couldn’t muster the strength to open her eyes. The last thing she heard was the stranger coming closer as she fell into a deep slumber.