Dear princess Celestia.
Today I learned how a pain in the ass simple the life is in Ponyville. Since I'm a temporary resident... for months... I decided to take your advice, and write you a letter each time I learn something about life in Equestria. The first thing I realise is how saturated beautiful this world is.. a bit too much. The joy is on every face, of everyone, Days are nice and active, but I swear if I take an other bite of that fucking butterfly, love, and shiting raimbows world of Pinkie's cakes parties she make everyday, I'm going to explode. By the way my routine at Twilight's library is quite nice, but every time I see her, and I look into her eyes I feel something strange. It deep in my hearts, something strong... the urge to rip off her head for put me in that shit, growing. I think that might be the spirit of friendship you all talking about.
I will continue to send you letters about my experience in Equestria. (sorry for all the crossing-out I'm not used to tell bull shits. write to a princess.
Oh ! And one more thing...
PLEASE !! I BEGGING YOU ! QUICK, CREATE THAT SPELL FOR SEND ME HOME !!
Your new pissed off faithfull ''subject''
Hu--
" … Ok. Just keep calm... *breath*, F*°#&@€ !!! " exclaimed the "faithfull" new subject as he run out of ink.
He thrown away the table where he was writting, and broke the windows of Twilight's chamber.
" oops.. » he said.
" I think I should go before she sees this."
"Before I see what?» Said the purple Pony, back at her library, and climbing up the stairs.
" Oh ! Hey, Twilight ! How are you ? Ha, ha ! Did I told you how your mane is beautiful today an-"
"What the buck happened to my windows ?! " exclaimed the mare at the vision of the chaos.
" w-well, you see.. There was the ink, a-and.." the windows breaker tried to say something for his defence, but nothing went out, when suddenly, he thought at one of the most stupidest answer someone could ever think in Equestria:
" You're not going to believe me.."
"I'm listening." said Twilight out of patience.
" Well, there was those ninja Ink.
"Ninja Ink?..."
"Yeah ! They suddenly appear from nowhere in a cloud of smoke ! Poof ! they wanted stole my Ink, but I didn't let them do it. I tried to fight back, and then they summoned a flying cow ! They jumped on her back, and fly through your windows ! I wanted to stop them so I threw your table, but I missed! "
During his story, he walk down the stairs, and slowly recoiled to the door.
" And that is how ever-"
"Amazing..." interrupted the pony.
" indeed ! "
"No. What's amazing, is the fact you thought I could believe such story !"
"I never thought you would believe it.» said the wretched."
"I just wanted to distract you until I reach the door. Now that's done ! Goodbye ! "
"Come back here ! Hu- " at those words, the runaway slammed the door, and locked the fury inside her house. Too bad she didn't have those wings of princess to fly by the hole in her room.
The malandrin, running to ponyville didn't worry about her. She would find a spell to unlock her door. That out of the way he needed ink, and after that he would spend the night in the everfree forest just the time she calm down.
At least this day wasn't bad.. The sun was shinning, the birds was singing, Rainbow had a snap on a cloud, and Fluttershy tried to educate her new little friends...
Nothing could perturb this day.
"Watchooooout !!"
"uh? what the f-URFGH !"
"aaah !"
"ouch !" except 3 little ponies falling of the sky.
"gremp mpOumph omp mbe !!" (get out of me !!) said a voice under the 3 foals.
"This is your falt Scootaloo !"
"My falt?! you're the one saying it was not strong enough Sweetiebelle !"
"but you didn't have to set that strengh"
"Gurl'z mah be we shou' move of him, don't y'all think? " suggest Applebloom speaking about their shock absorber.
"*gasp* ! phew.. What's wrong with you ?!"
"sorry sir" apologize the crusaders.
"Hey ! I know ya ! Ya're the creature Twilight summoned don't ya? " cheered up Applebloom
"I'm not a creature. I'm Hu-"
"Wow ! Is that true you come from an other dimension?" asked Scootaloo.
"Well actu-"
"Is there fashion shows where you come from?" added Sweetie belle. And the questions of the trio continue, and continue.
"and do you-"
"STOOOOOOP ! Ok ! I will answer to all your questions, but please STOP !" ended the miserable guy.
"Ok, first stop calling me, 'creature' I'm not a monster, althought my gender exist as demon in Twilight's books history... Anyway.
I'm... Hugh Razor. I'm a necromorph !
"... A wha'?.."
"A necromorph ! You know, those alien reanimated dead corpse that you'll have fight in an other fi- I'm just messing with you. I'm a Human."
"A wha-"
"A bipede creature, which as almost destroy his entire world for something called 'religion', and because they wanted more than they had. "
The 3 little fillies were confused. They didn't get any words of this strange man.
At the expression on their face, Hugh said: "Listen, I will tell you all you need to know, just sit there in silence." at those word the crusaders sat with a big smile,
"Well!" started Hugh.
"It all begin like this.."
