Chapter 1 EditedView OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 1 EditedI am writing a Fimfic at my desk for you see, I am a brony, my name is Richard Rohl; I am 18 years old. I am pudgy and my friends all say I am the softest thing they have ever laid eyes on. Now most people think just because I am fat I am weak, those who have fought me have found themselves in pain. I can bench almost twice my weight which is a total of 309 pounds so I can lift 550 pounds. Now enough of my boasting, its time for me to go to sleep. [Dream Scape] I am floating in a realm of darkness and I can hear a light chuckling from behind me. My body is turned to the laughter but not under my own accord. I see Discord and I realize that I am dreaming.I smile as my dreams with Discord are always fun. “You think that this is a dream Richard, but its not. This is real.” Said Discord as he continued to laugh. “Oh ya and how can you prove that.” I laughed as I talked to Discord, someone who doesn’t exist. “Easley. I can do this.” Discord snapped his fingers and I felt the most excruciating pain that I have felt in my entire life. It only lasted a second but that was enough. I shook in fear as pain is not something that you can feel in a dream. “W-w-what do you want.” I whispered through my fear as this can go very badly. “Oh thats easy. I want you to take my place as the Embodiment of Chaos.” Stated Discord as he looked at me with a serious face. “So wait you want to give me unlimited power over chaos, and are you going to send me to Equestria to?” I inquired to Discord as he floated in the darkness. “Why of course I’m going to send you to Equestria!” Laughed Discord as he wiped a fake tear away from his face. “Ok” I stated simply as I do some crazy things and this would make my insane side AND my sane side very happy. Oh let me introduce you, my insane side is named The Madhatter and the sane side is called Brain. “Now I know this is a….Wait, did you accept just like that?” Asked Discord as he did a spit take without anything to drink. “Yes, I accept your offer. this is what I have always dreamed of!” I said as I laughed like a madman. “Oh I like this guy.” Laughed Discord as he started to glow white. My body started to warm up and I got some of his body parts like his mismatched wings and his tail, I was also wearing clothes that looked like his mismatched limbs. After my transformation was complete I looked at Discord and he looked like any other human I would see today. “This is my final act of Chaos after this I will no longer have any magic. FALCON PUNCH!.” He hit me in the face making me fly into his statue in the Canterlot gardens. I looked around from my now stony prison and saw many rose bushes and shrubs. There were paths here and there also a white and blue set of regal ponies were walking towards me. ‘Those aren’t….They totally are. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.’ I thought to myself as I started to push on the walls of my prison. I and the Princesses noticed a small grating noise as a small crack appeared in Discords statue. “Dear sister did you hear that?” The two sisters examined the statue that stood in front of them. “Look! There’s a crack in the prison of Discord! We must call the Elements of Harmony here right away!” Luna Bellowed to her older sister as she started to channel magic in her horn to hold me at bay. “Yes you're right. I will send a letter to twilight right away.” Celestia said as calmly as she could and flew away and out of sight. “Discord, I know you can hear me. You will never win so why don’t you just stay in your prison so as to avoid the pain of disappointment!” Luna Growled at the statue as I was still trying to break open the harmony imprisonment spell that the Elements cast on Discord to trap him in stone. “Ahh you foolish mare, I am not Discord!” I yelled, and to my surprise Luna fell right on her plot looking at me with fear. “How can I hear you talking? And what do you mean you're not Discord? That is absurd..” Luna stuttered out in a small voice. “I mean….Wait you can hear me?” I asked as I had hopes of escaping faster. “Yes but I shouldn’t be able to. And I don’t care what you say, you are Discord and you will be stopped from bringing disharmony to Equestria!” She stated in the Royal Canterlot Voice while glaring at Discords statue. “Holy hell woman, the show never quite got how loud you are when you do that.” I yelled as my ears were ringing and my sight went blurry for a second. I would have said more but a flash of light interrupted me. Standing in front of me were the Elements of Harmony and Princess Celestia. “Alright Discord lets get this over with. Break out of your stony prison so we can entomb you again.” Celestia said with some steel in her voice. I started to push with all my might and the statue started to crack and shift till there was a huge flash of light and I was sitting in a wooden chair with a Cuban Cigar wedged between my teeth slowly smoking it and enjoying its flavor. “Well I am glad to be out of there. It was uncomfortable to say the least.” I told the ponies with a straight face that I managed to hold for a few seconds until I burst out laughing. “Who are you and where is Discord!” Rainbow Dash yelled from three inches from my face. “Hold on Dashie and I will tell you everything.” I said in a mocking voice. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Some time later... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So what you’re telling us is that Discord gave you his powers and made you the new lord of Chaos and Disharmony?” Celestia asked me as she looked at me with a confused face. “Well yes and..” I was going to say more but Celestia interrupted me. “Zap him girls!” Shouted Celestia to the mane six causing them to use the Elements. They floated into the air and started to glow, then Twilight opened her eyes to show white light that glowed like the sun. The rainbow power that is the Elements of Harmony crashed onto me. The power stung but I was not turned to stone. I was relieved to say the least. “H-how is that possible? The power of harmony didn’t work!” Luna asked as she slowly started to back up, afraid of me. I slowly stood up and turned to look at the ponies, except Rainbow Dash who charged me but I looked at her and she started to move in slow motion. I walked up to Fluttershy and all the ponies started to get in front of me but I waved them away causing them to float in the air. I stopped in front of her and looked down on her with a smile on my face. She looked at me and curled into a ball and started to whimper. I slowly bent down and wrapped my arms around her and all the ponies that I suspended in the air started threatening me. I ignored them as I was too busy fangasming over the fact that I was hugging Fluttershy. After I had my fill I let her go and let the ponies down much to their confusion. “So wait you weren’t going to hurt Fluttershy just hug her….Why?” Asked all the ponies at once. “How in the unholy hell could I hurt Fluttershy or anypony for that matter? You're just too cute.” I fanboyied all over the ponies to their total shock. “So wait, you’re not going to spread chaos and disharmony all across the land?” Celestia asked with her jaw almost touching the ground. “Nope I am going to use my chaos magic to spread smiles and harmony through the land!” I laughed at the Princess. “Well if you keep to those words I see no reason to lock you away.” Celestia stated while walking away. “Princess wait, don’t you want some tea?” I said wiping up a pot of lavender tea out of thin air, as well as a table and some hay bales to sit on. She turned around and looked at me hard then smiled. “I would love some tea. Luna and My Little Ponies, would you like to join us?” She asked the mares that surrounded her. “I would love to have tea with you dear sir...Oh, I don’t know your name. Would you care to share it with us?” Stated Rarity as she blushed. “Well I had a name from the world I was on, but seeing as I am on a new world with new powers and new possibilities, I will come up with a new name…………Oh, now how about Paradox? seems fitting as I am going to be making order and harmony out of chaos and disharmony.” I said with glee now that I had a name for myself that fit the new me. “So what is that thing that you have in your teeth mister Paradox?” Asked Princess Luna as she stared at the thing hanging out of my mouth. “Well to answer your question it is a Cigar. A roll of brown paper filled with a type of plant called Tobacco it tastes foul but it has a calming effect.” I said to Luna as she looked over at me with her head tilted to the side. “May I try it?” Asked Luna as she stared at my cigar with a hungry look in her eyes. “Yes you may, but only because you have had such a hard time on that treaty with the Diamond Dogs.” I said off hand as I held out the cigar to Luna. “Thank yo……Wait a minute how do you know that?” Asked Luna as she took the cigar and tried to pull the smoke into her lungs. “How does Pinkie Pie do anything? By the way, you're doing that wrong.” I laughed as she almost coughed up a lung. “How then do you use this stupid thing?” Asked Luna as she continued to cough like there was something was choking her. After a few seconds she calmed down enough to breath normally. “Alright here is how you smoke a cigar. Put it between your lips and slowly suck so that the smoke gets into your mouth. Hold it there for a few seconds, and blow it out.” I said slowly as I brought her through the steps of smoking. “You're right this does taste terrible. But you’re also right that it is calming.” Said a calmed Luna as she sinks into table and blinks slowly. I take the cigar back from her and start smoking again. After a few more puffs I make it disappear into thin air. “Alright, we all have things to do and ponies to meet.” I said happily as I made the tea and table disappear making Luna fall over. She gave me a disgruntled look as she got off the ground and all the ponies started to follow me. We walk through the gardens to the castle where there are guards crawling everywhere. They see me walking with the princesses and attack the very moment they lay eyes on me. I simply cast a chaos spell to make the gravity effect them more making them weight ten times the normal amount. They fall to the ground unable to move. “Princess run and save yourself from this monster.” Yelled one of the guards as he tried to drag himself towards me. “If I was a normal monster they wouldn’t need you to protect them and on top of that, they aren’t in any danger.” I said to the guard as he continued to drag himself towards me. As he reached me I just canceled gravity on myself and fed the chaos magic that it was making back into the spells that I was using. Now floating in the air and a stallion right underneath me I just looked over to Celestia. “How about you explain things to your guards Celestia?” I asked as I floated upside down now and also had a duck face. “Well my loyal guards…..” Droned Celestia as she talked to her stunned downed guards. *Edited by ManJack40*
Chapter 2 EditedView OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 2 EditedAfter Celestia had informed her guards on the situation, I let them up and summoned an ice cream cone for each of the guards. I walked past the now totally confused pony guards and looked over the large gold doors to throne room. It had vines and images of ponies dancing and prancing through fields of tall grass. I slowly pushed open the doors to see two thrones. One was made out gold, and one made out of silver. The walls were made out of marble and has many stained glass windows depicting Equestria’s history. I walked over to the thrones and summoned up a throne made out of Star Rubies....Did I mention that it is floating ten feet above the other thrones? I then teleported up to it and laid across its arms. “This is heavenly.” I sighed out as the Ruby chair felt like it was made out of memory foam. I turned my head to the ponies that were looking at me funnily and I shrug my shoulders. I look at my hand and summoned up my mobile phone and check the time. “Huh it’s 12:00 at night from where I’m from. What is the time here at the moment?” I asked in a bored tone as I looked over to the ponies and waited for them to answer me. “Its actually the same here. I wonder why that is?” Twilight asked me as I looked at her. “Well I don’t know really, though if I would guess I would say that our worlds are linked somehow which is why Discord was able to reach me in my dreams.” I mused to myself as I looked at the ceiling. I teleported down to the floor and stood up normally and waved my hand at a normally vacant piece of wall which now has a plain wooden door embedded into it. I walked over to the door and opened it and there was a complete copy of my house from home minus the windows. The ponies came over to look at the new rooms and gasped at what they saw. They walked into the house that shouldn't exist and the more they saw the lower their jaws got. “Welcome to my home.” I beamed with a dramatic wave of my arms as I walked towards the kitchen to start to cook some dinner for myself and the ponies. “Why are you cooking instead of just making it out of thin air?” Celestia asked as she looked at me making some pizza dough. “Well thats simple. Chaos food doesn’t have any nutrients in it.” I answered to the Princess as I took out some pepperoni to put on my pizza. “What is that you are putting on your pizza?” Asked Twilight as she looked over my shoulder and frowned at the smell. “Well to answer that I need to explain a few things. First of which is that on my planet Humans are the only sapient species, second is that humans are omnivores so we need to have protein in our diet.” I said not looking over at the ponies. I heard a gasp and I turned around the Princesses were standing defensively in front of the other ponies. “We won’t let you eat our subjects!” The Princesses boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice their horns starting to glow menacingly. They both took a step towards me and their magic suddenly shorted out. They looked at me with confusion on their faces. “Ok lets all calm down, I would never kill and eat a sapient creature that would be cannibalism even though you're different species, so just chill.” I said slowly to them. As I talked they slowly started to relax and stand normally. “So what types of meat do humans normally eat?” Asked Pinkie Pie as she looked closely at my pizza almost like the pepperoni held the secrets to the universe. “Don’t be stupid, the pepperoni doesn’t hold any secrets, author your silly.”*Stop breaking the fourth wall Paradox*”Alright..fine. And to answer your question Pinkie, we mostly eat pigs, cows, some fowls, and almost all types of fish. But seeing as only the fowls and fish here aren’t sapient on this world I guess I will be importing most of my meat from earth.” I said in one breath as I didn’t like talking about meat to vegetarians and I find myself disliking it more now that i am surrounded by them. “Yes you definitely will.” Said Celestia in a cold tone. That wasn’t necessary, but seeing as she is in control of the sun and also seeing as her sister is second to best pony, I will allow her that statement. “Applejack what do you think? I will say that it is possible for me to survive indefinitely without meat should I go vegetarian.” I asked her as she is best pony and I would do almost anything for her. “I think that if you ate animals to survive that would be one thing, but to eat them because they taste good to you is wrong.” Said Applejack with with steely look in her eyes. “I was afraid of that. After this there will be no more meat for me.” I said with a huff. I looked over at Applejack who had a shocked face. “Why is it that a threat from the Princess don't phase you, but my word makes you change who you’re willing to be?” Asked Applejack as she looked at me with a weird look. I slowly walked over to her and placed my thumb on her chin and pointer finger under her muzzle. “Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?” I asked Applejack as she started to blush, but she is a big girl so she nodded her head that yes she would like to know. I leaned over and whispered something into her ear making her blush and scoot back away from me with a look of panic. When she hit the wall she covered her face with her front hooves. “No..you're a-- Well I what I mean to say is-- Just give me some time to think about that Paradox...” She mumbled out from behind hooves as she tried to breath normally. “Now are you all ready to taste something that has never touched a pony’s tongue before today?” I asked the group after Applejack has calmed down a bit. After receiving many nods yes I used my magic to pull out the pizzas out of the oven that shouldn’t have been able to hold all of them. I placed them on the table and cut them into nine slices a pizza. After what can only be described as a pizza massacre, I levitated the ponies to the bathroom with instructions to get cleaned up. I walked back to the kitchen and cleaned up the dishes and table. I returned to the bathroom to find that all but the princess ponies had fallen asleep. I simply waved my hand and teleported them to their rooms. “Ok, out with you two. I need to take a shower and get some good looking clothes on.” As I said as I was pushing the princesses out from my home. They both looked confused as I slammed the door in their faces. I turn around and looked over my home. I walked into my living room which is a half ring of leather chairs around a flat screen tv, I then walked to my my kitchen and drained the sink. The kitchen was mostly marble and quartz. Then I walked to my bedroom and grabbed my fancy suit and cut some holes into it with magic so my wings would fit. My bedroom is a simple thing with a closet bed and clothes dresser.I looked over the room and there was a shower stall, sink and toilet all done up in quartz. I climbed into the shower and started to sing. “You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep 'Cause they'd fill the open air And leave teardrops everywhere You'd think me rude But I would just stand and stare I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems 'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they tried to teach me how to dance A foxtrot above my head A sock hop beneath my bed The disco ball is just hanging by a thread Thread, thread... I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems When I fall asleep Leave my door open just a crack Please take me away from here 'Cause I feel like such an insomniac Please take me away from here Why do I tire of counting sheep? Please take me away from here When I'm far too tired to fall asleep Ha-ha To ten million fireflies I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes I got misty eyes as they said farewell Said farewell But I'll know where several are If my dreams get real bizarre 'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar Jar, jar, jar... I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Because my dreams are bursting at the seams” As the final words of the song passed through my lips I heard stamping of hooves I turned around and saw Luna looking at me with happiness joy. “Argh! Get out, get out!!!” I yelled toward the princess as she looked over my frame. I used my magic to teleport her out of the bathroom and then put up a shield of energy so nothing could see or get in. “That was not cool.” I yelled to Luna who was standing outside the door. “Why would seeing you without clothes on be a bad thing?” Inquired Luna as she looked at the door with a confused look on her face. “It is taboo for a human to be seen without their clothes on by someone who is not their lover.” I said to Luna as I stepped out of the shower and started to dry off. “Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable Paradox.” Luna said to me with a sheepish voice. “It’s fine you didn’t know. But if you do it again there will be some problems.” I stated my warning as I put on my clothes and walked out into the brown hallway. After saying this, Luna blushed thinking of what exactly what her seeing me implied. I was dressed in my finest suit. Black slacks, fake leather shoes, white button up shirt, red tie, black dress jacket with gold buttons. I slowly spun on the spot to show off to Luna. After two full turns I stopped and walked to the cane stand and grabbed my black cane that had a secret sword inside. I checked the time and found that it was 8:00 am. “Well Luna lets get introductions out of the way shall we?” I said as I walked to the door and flung it open. I walked out into the throne room and sauntered over to Celestia and bowed as she is still royalty. “Good morning, how fares you princess?” I asked as I returned to a vertical stance. “Hello to you too Paradox. I’m doing fine.” Celestia answered to me as I jumped up to my throne and waved to Luna who still had a slight blush. “Well Celey, lets get todays petitioners out of the way.” As I said this I waved my hand and the doors grated as they sank into the floor. About fifty-five noble ponies walked into the throne room but all stopped when they caught sight of me. After a few moments of whispering one pony walked forward and bowed to the princesses. “Excuse me Princess Celestia, but it seems that there is a monster in the room.” Stated a pony that I knew to be Twilights mother. Celestia was about to speak but I beat her to the punch. “Miss Sparkle, to suggest that I am a monster by looks alone is extremely racist. I demand an apology.” I laughed out as Twilights mother’s jaw slowly opened and closed as she thought I was a stupid animal. “I...I..apologize, my behavior was...uncalled for...” Twilight’s mom apologized wearily as she bowed to me as I am sitting in a throne. I floated down to her the other ponies backing away in fear. I picked her up with my magic I looked into her eyes and put her down on all four legs. “Please don’t bow to me. I am not royalty, just a simple adviser to the princesses.” I explained as I floated up to my throne. “Now Miss Sparkle. How can we help you today?” Asked Celestia as she “tried” to hold in a smile. “Well you asked me and Banknote to look over the taxes that we are going to levy this year. But we came to an impasse, you see Mister Note wants to raise taxes but there are families that can barely pay taxes as it is raising the taxes would all but kill them.” Miss Sparkle ranted with a fierce look on her face. “Well that is a problem as we need those taxes to pay for damages that the great dragon wars brought onto the land.” Celestia counter pointed as she looked at me with a knowing smile. “Paradox, do you have a idea as to how we could raise the taxes to start repairing the damages?” Celestia asked me knowing that I knew how to fix their outdated system. “Why yes I do but to do that I will have to explain an advanced system of math. Are you ready?” I asked Celestia and the assembled as I already knew that math subjects past multiplying and division weren't known on this planet. “Yes we are!” Answered the entire room at once almost making me laugh at their eager faces. “Alright here we go.” As I said this I magicked up a pie and cut it into 5 pieces. “Alright too make this easier lets use fractions shall we? “ I asked while holding the pie together with magic. I received much head nodding so I continued. “Alright if I take all five pieces of the pie and add them together what do I have?” I asked as I floated the pie over the ponies heads so they could see. “You get a whole.” Answered Luna as she is the most studios mare in the room. I nodded my head. “But you also get 100% of a pie as well.” I stated while getting confused faces from the ponies in the room. “What is this “percent” you speak of? We have not heard anything like it before.” Asked Princess Luna. “Well I am glad you asked. It is an advanced form of fractions.” I answered to Luna directly as she stared at the pie hoping to learn its secrets from observation. “Please explain.” Celestia said will intrigue written all over her face. “Alright, here we go. Lets take one piece of the pie and look at it closely. One who would use fractions would say you have 1/5 but if you were using percents you would have 20%. How to figure out percent is take the top number from the fraction and multiply it to 100, then take the number that you multiplied by and do the same to the bottom number and then you will get your percent.” I finished my lecture on percents and I looked over the room and found that the ponies had their jaws on the floor. Again. “So instead of just taking the same amount of money from everypony just take a percent out of their income that way the rich will pay more money than the poor because they can afford it.” Miss Sparkle yelled as she finally started to get the idea She walked out of the room and Prince Blueblood walked up with a nasty look on his face. ‘Oh this is going to be fun.’ I mentally whispered to myself. *Edited by ManJack40*
Chapter 3View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 3I watched as the arrogant pony walked up to the thrones and gave the princesses a slight nod in greeting. I just ground my teeth which was not unnoticed by Blueblood. “What has your withers in a knot ape.” Sneered the pony thinking that I would take it laying down he already turned his attention back to the Princesses. “You obviously need your eyes checked you pompous twit.” I said after teleporting right into his face. He screamed and fell back like a child. “Auntie I demand you put him in the dungeon. He caused me to get my shirt tails dirty.” Whined the pompous prince as he stood up and looked at me with a smug look. “What do you think I should do with him Paradox?” Asked Celestia as she came and stood beside me. The prince was startled to say the least he looked at my face and turned tail and tried to run only to find himself snared in a liquorice net. “Well I think that we should make him serve in the guards for a term of five years after training so he will learn some humility.” I said with a manic smile on my face. After hearing my idea Celestia started to nod her head up and down. “Auntie, you can’t seriously be taking a apes advice to heart.” Blueblood said now begging like I said off with his head. He was struggling with the candy ropes like his life depended on it. “Blueblood you have made a nuisance of yourself since you entered court three years ago it is time for you to learn some humility just like Paradox said. I Celestia hereby declare that Prince Blueblood shall serve in the royal guard for the term of five years after training.” As Celestia said the last word everypony in the room cheered like christmas had come early. We were almost done with the petitioners when the Twilight and the girls walked into the room but Fluttershy entered the line right after the group that have been bickering back and forth for an hour. “Give it a rest already come back tomorrow I don't want to hear another second of you bickering, and if I do I will turn you both into ducks for the rest of the week do I make myself clear.” I yelled to the idiotic ponies that have gone totally white which is kind of cool seeing as one of them was black. After they left I turned to Fluttershy who was whimpering and curled up on the floor. I flew down to her and picked her up, I slowly rocked her until she had calmed down. “Ok little one what is it that you wanted to ask the princesses?” I asked the timid pony as she curled up in a ball in my arms. She mumbled something that I couldn't hear. “Fluttershy you're going to have to speak up.” I said softly to her as to not scare her more. “I said that I wanted to ask you a something.” Fluttershy said barely audible to my ears. I smiled to her and set her down. “Why did you do that you idiot you never know when the next time that you will have a chance to hug Fluttershy will be.” Yelled The Madhatter from inside my brain. I just ignored him. “So Fluttershy what is it that you wanted to ask me?” I asked Flutters but I got more mumbling instead of an answer. “You are going to have to speak up Flutters.” I said with a sing song voice to be silly. “Can you find my special somepony? If that is ok that is.” Squeaked out Fluttershy as she trembled in place looking at me with fear. “Of course I can just give me a second to look through the Rug of Space Time.” As I said this my eyes got a faraway look as I sorted through the cosmos for Fluttershys soulmate. What I found brought a smile to my face. “Ok fluttershy I found your soulmate. He is a different species from a different world. And he is also someone I made out of my imagination.” As I was saying this I was teleporting Mecytoc the Rattilion from the U.S.S.C Ragnarok. With a huge flash there was a storm grey giant rat standing in the room. He was five feet tall standing and had an eight foot long tail, On his back was a mane of bone white quills. He was also wearing grey pants. “Paradox what is that thing that you have brought into our throneroom.” I just ignored them as those quills can be shot and they hurt like a bitch. “Hey Mecytoc how are you hanging?” I asked as I walked up to the version of me that is beastly. “Well it’s hanging how bout you what's been happening while I was gone?” Asked the Mecytoc grabbed my hand in a bone crushing handshake. “It’s been good, and to answer your question I have one thing to say Chaos.” As that last word escaped my lips we both cracked a smile and started to laugh like a couple of fools. “So is there any reason that you dragged me of my ship or did you just want to talk?” Asked Mecytoc as he coiled his tail into a makeshift seat to listen to me. “Actually yes there is. You see this mare here?” I asked Mecytoc to which I got a head nod. “Yes I see her what about her should be interesting?” Mecytoc asked me with a raised eyebrow. “She is your soulmate.” I answered simply and almost lost my cool when his eyes got real big. ‘Hello The Madhatter here telling you that Paradox doesn’t lie like ever he sucks at it.’ The Madhatter broke the fourth wall while talking to the readers. “Are you sure?” Mecytoc asked after he looked long and hard at me. “Yes I am completely positive.” I stated truthfully to him as he knows that I can't lie to save my life. Mecytoc turns to Fluttershy and looks her over. “Well it could worse, at least she is cut. Also I might be able to teach her about engineering.” Mecytoc sighed and looked her over again. At this point the other girls have gotten angry at him. Applejack walked up to him. “Why do you keep looking her over you perv.” Applejack said to which we just laughed. Fluttershy started to blush. “What is so funny?” Yelled Applejack as she glared at the both of us. “You wouldn’t understand.” I wheezed out as I rolled on the floor. “Try me.” Said Applejack and was backed up by Rainbow Dash. “Alright, I will explain why that was so funny. The Rattilion species is very much competitive and a female must win in a fight of wills first before a male will even look at them romantically.” I said now with a serious face as I hope she can figure out the true test. “Fluttershy if you want to be with your fated match you must use your stare on him.” I said in a commanding tone. “No I could never do that to somepony.” Said Fluttershy as she fell to the floor crying her eyes out. “Good job Fluttershy you passed the test.” I shouted with glee and Mecytoc smiled warmly at Fluttershy. “What d-do you mean I failed?” Sobbed Fluttershy as she looked at us. “The true test was to see if you would hurt someone to get your own happiness, and you didn’t so you passed the test by not using your stare.” I told her with a happy grin plastered on my face. “S-s-so I passed the test and I can be happy.” Said Fluttershy with a small hopeful smile. Mecytoc walked over to Fluttershy and gave her a small hug. “Yes little one you can be happy.” Mecytoc whispered into Fluttershys ear as he started to slowly stroke her mane. “Alright you love birds find a room.” I laughed out as I slapped my knee with glee. Both of them blushed like there was no tomorrow. I turned to a wall and waved my hand making an interdimensional doorway so Mecytoc could come and go as he pleased. “Well Mecytoc I will be seeing you again soon but you have to help your shipmates.” I said as I waved him towards the door. “Will I get to see you again soon?” Asked Fluttershy as she started to tear up. “I be back so fast you won’t even know I was gone.” Mecytoc answered to Fluttershy as he ran to the door. He then proceeded to open it and leave this dimension altogether. Fluttershy slowly walked up to me and gave me a bone crushing hug shortly followed by the others hugging me as well. “We can’t thank you enough darling for finding Fluttershy’s special somepony.” Rarity said from her position on my chest. I looked over at Twilight and slowly smiled a mischievous smile. Twilight gulped thinking that I was going to do something bad, to which I totally was. “Hey Rarity spike would be jealous of me at the moment.” I said this without turning from Twilight and my smile only got bigger as I watched her eyes get really big and she started to slowly shake her head no. “How so darling?” Rarity asked me oblivious to his affection. “Don’t you know he is completely smitten with you.” I said instantly which caused her to gasp in disbelief. “Are you sure?” Asked Rarity as she started to blush and look away. “Oh yes he is head over heels for you and you are for him.” I stated which caused all the ponies including the princesses to gasp in surprise and look at Rarity who only blushed and looked down. “Is it really that easy to notice?” She asked tears coming to her eyes as she looked at me thinking I was going to make fun of her for liking somepony who was younger then her. “Rarity stop those water works this moment it is unbecoming of a lady to be seen crying, and no I am just that good.” I said to her as I am a total beast at setting up relationships. She slowly calmed down and looked over at her friends who were giving her encouraging looks. “Now that we have gotten the romance in for this chapter lets move to the mane eating hall for some grub.” I yelled out and got many weird looks from the ponies. I just shrugged them off and walked out of the room like a boss. We were walking through the hallways of the castle when we ran into the Princess Cadance she took one look at me and then gave Celestia a confused look. “He is the new Spirit of chaos and he is also our new adviser.” Celestia answered her unspoken question. “Wait the new Spirit of Chaos is also our adviser how does that work!” Yelled Candance as we continued to walk down the hallway. “Oh that is simple really Discord wanted to spread Disharmony and I don’t and having me on your side is a big bonus to your country.” I stated simply walking ahead of the ponies not realizing that they had stopped. I continued walking for a few seconds. I turned around and found them standing still with looks of complete shock on their faces. “How do you keep doing that? You explain something so complex with so little word” Twilight asked as she tried to pick her jaw off the ground. I walked back to the group and kneeled down so I would be on there level. “Most of my life I hated talking to more than one person at a time so I learned to give the most amount information with the least amount of words it is just a habit now.” I said with some sadness as I didn’t have many friends to talk to back on earth. We arrived at the doors to the main eating hall I pushed open the doors to find a 9ft. Tall grey skinned Demon eating souls at the table. When he saw me he waved me over I was in a little shock as to what he was doing here. “Foul Demon how dare you dirty these halls with your presence.” Luna bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. He just simply ignored her and continued to wave at me. “Hey Richard how have been things?” Asked the Demon as he got up and walked over to me and gave me a bear hug that ruffled my wings. “Oh ok I guess got the unlimited power of Chaos at my beck and call but besides that same old same old. Hey how is Autumn doing?” I asked the Demon. “Oh she is fine, and so is Keel by the way. But I have to go many bandits to kill and souls to eat.” He yelled over his shoulder as he vanished without a trace. “Paradox who was that and why does he know you?” Celestia asked with steel in her tone as she just saw a Demon that was outside of Tartaras. “Oh that was Stargazer Doomlord. He is the only Demon that I know of that refuses to eat the souls of the innocent.” I answered to Celestia as I walked into the room and picked up one of the menus. “Now come on lunch isn’t going to order itself.” I said with the Troll Face firmly plastered on. I saw Celestia’s eye twitch slightly.
Chapter 4View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 4As we were eating our lunch a dark portal opened and a man wearing black robes and had raven black hair walked through at this point I was suspecting this would happen as seeing as all of my DnD characters had stopped in for a visit. I spoke up before any of the ponies got a chance. “Hey Eugus how are you doing?” I asked as he reached into the portal and picked up a reaper's blade “Oh hey Richard I am just passing through trying to find Gilded Glass.” Answered Eugus as he made another dark portal and stepped through it. “Ok who are all these ponies that keep popping up, and why do they seem to know you?” Asked Celestia with much steel in her voice as she doesn’t like being out of the loop. “Oh those are some of the people I have played as.” I answered as I ate some delicious salad with something akin to Ranch dressing. “What does that even mean?” Yelled Twilight as she stood up on the table and glared at me. “Huh, it means that those are pieces of a game brought to life by the Multiverse.” I said as I used my magic to float Twilight back into her seat without looking up from my salad. I heard something like fire crackling and I saw Twilight was floating in the air and she was caked in flames. So I did the rational thing and pulled out a bucket of water and poured it over her head dousing the flames. She fell down and sighed. “I don’t know how you do some of the things you do but it is clear as day you did them.” Stated Twilight as she looked at her lunch. “Twilight it is ok not to be perfect all the time, that is what makes you pony.” She looked at me with a hopeful face as if she thought that making a mistake would make her a bad pony. I looked at her and nodded my head she jumped over the table and hugged me. “It’s ok little one.” I said as I held her as she shed tears of happiness. She cuddled up to me and looked at peace for several seconds.....That is until she noticed what she was doing, at which point she jumped out of my arms and hid under the table making us all laugh our flanks off. “Twilight and Paradox sitting in a tree.” Rainbow Dash started to taunt at Twilight, but I summoned up a bit of Poison Joke and slowly twirled it in my fingers. “I would advise you not to finish that taunt if I were you.” I threatened Rainbow to which she gulped, and slowly nodded her head in understanding. “Paradox what has gotten into you? You are acting strangely.” Yelled Celestia as she looked into my eyes, and what she saw in my soul brought her to tears. She turned away from me and tried to fly away but I held her in place with my magic. “Let me go.” Cried Celestia as she floated down to me. I forced her to look me in the eye and then took away the memory of what she saw by force. She passed out from the mental spike from the extracted the memory. Luna looked shocked but stayed put while Rainbow Dash flew into my face. “Hey what gives? Why did you do that to Princess Celestia?” Yelled Rainbow Dash as she glared me in the eyes. “I did it to save her sanity, she was a few seconds away from losing her mind.” I said slowly as I pushed her nose making her float lazily away. She was unable to move as she floated into a wall and bounced off slowly floating to the floor. “Oh ya and why would she be losing her mind.” Asked a sceptic Rainbow Dash as she stood up. I was going to answer but Celestia who just woke up beat me to it. “Because I accidentally looked at the heart of chaos which is Madness. No mortal could look at without dying, and no immortal could look at without losing their mind.” Answered Celestia as she shakily stood up on the table. “Here let me help you down.” I said as I picked her up and and set her down on the floor. She took a few steps and fell to her knees. “Alright bed rest for you missy.” I said as I picked her up with magic and started to carry her out of the room and down the hall. After a few minutes of walking Celestia spoke up and asked me a question. “How do you do it? I mean hold that knowledge and not go insane.” Celestia asked as I carried her to her room. “I was already insane when I got these powers so I didn’t have any problem holding the madness inside myself but keeping it there will be a problem I see so I think I will have to make some gods to hold parts of it so this never happens again.” I answered her as I tucked her into her sheets. I walked out of the room to find Luna with a worried expression. “Is she going to be alright? She means the world to me I couldn’t handle it if she died.” Cried Luna as she looked at me with sad eyes. “She will be fine but her mind will need time to heal. The mind is not meant to hold all that information.” I said as I rubbed her head. I walked away and heard Celestia’s door open and close. I could only smile at their love for each other. I walked through hallways and past many elegant oak doors. I eventually found myself walking back into the eating room and I saw the girls slowly eating their meals. Twilight saw me enter and walked over to me. “Is Princess Celestia going to be alright?” Twilight whispered to me as all the other ponies looked at me with worried expressions. I slowly looked at all of them one by one and nodded to each. “She will be fine but she needs time to rest, and I need to make some gods.” I said to the shocked ponies. They started asking questions faster than I could listen to. “QUIET!” I bellowed in a voice that puts the Royal Canterlot Voice to shame. The ponies all shut up after that. “Now Twilight as you are the one who is the most studious, you ask the questions.” I said to her so I could answer the most important questions and be done with it. The ponies started to whisper amongst themselves. After a few minutes of this Twilight walked up to me and sat down. She took in a breath and asked me a bunch of questions. “What do you mean you're going to make a god? What will they be gods of? Why are they needed?” Twilight shot off one after another, I was slightly reeling from the questions but I stood my ground. “To answer your questions in order. I will take a few people from my world that I knew back in my old life and ascend them to godhood. They will be gods of Fear and Courage. They are needed so nopony will ever fall to the madness like Celestia did.” I said in quick spurts as I looked over the ponies. “Now then I have to start grabbing so.” I reached into the world of humans and pulled out the now named Courage and Fear. I set them down they looked at me with fear at first but they realized who I was and hugged me while crying. “Where were you we looked all over for you for weeks?” Cried Fear as he hugged me. He looked at me closely and backed up slowly shaking his head and mumbling to himself. I pointed at Fear with my middle finger. “You will be the spirit of Courage.” I boomed as he turned into a bipedal blue Alicorn. I then pointed at Courage with my foot. “And you will be the spirit of Fear.” I boomed as he turned into a living shadow. I then laughed at Fear was jumping up and down laughing with glee over his new chaos powers. While Courage started to look around and slowly sank into the shadows under the table. “When it is time for me to be called I will be here taking a nap.” Said Courage in a voice that lazily floated on the non existent wind. I just shrugged my shoulders and teleported me and Fear to my home in the throne room. “Wow you have upgraded since the last time I was here.” Whistled Fear as he inspected the rooms. I heard a sneeze from the bedroom and a loud pop. I rushed into the room to find that there was an exact copy of my bed on the other side of the room. “So how does it feel to have almost unlimited power?” I asked Fear as he jumped on the bed and he pulled out a tablet from nowhere and started to play angry birds. He looked at me and smiled then went back to playing his game. I left him to his devices and teleported to Celestia’s room. I walked up to Luna who was sitting by Celestia’s bed as she tossed and turned in her sleep. “Luna I need to talk to you.” I said barely over a whisper. She looked at me with a tear stained face, after a few seconds she nodded and walked over to the other side of the room. I started to talk but I was interrupted by Luna breaking down in tears and hugging me. I was surprised at first but I slowly rubbed her back to calm her. After a half hour of this she finally calmed down enough so that I could tell her what I was going to in the first place. “Luna I need to tell you something important. something that will make sure this never happens again to anypony. I have made two gods both of them are in the castle right now.” I whispered to her. She looked shocked at first but after a few second it sank in and she glared at me. She teleported us to the throne room. “How dare you make gods before telling us. I have half a mi.” She yelled in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she glared at me with unholy anger. “Silence!” I bellowed using The Voice of The Mountain which is ten times as loud as the RCV. Luna looked at me with a mixture of fear and shock. She tried to back away from me but I held her in my magical grasp. “I did what I had to do to keep your little ponies safe from myself. If one of them were to look at my soul as it was before I split the madness into two pieces and passed them onto other gods they would have died.” I said with as much venom in my voice as I could muster. I teleported Luna out of the throne room and teleported myself to the mountain top. I started to pace back and forth, over and over and over till I wore a slight ditch into the rock. I started to do the only thing that could calm me down at this point I sat down, pulled out my grandfathers pipe and started to smoke. After a few hours of doing so I heard wing beats as a huge power source landed behind me. “Hello Celestia you should still be in bed.” I said without looking while I smoked the old pipe. I saw the white Alicorn sit down next to me in the corner of my eye. “Why did you make gods Paradox?” Asked Celestia quietly as she looked over the setting sun. I didn’t answer at first as I was enjoying the aged pipe. “Because if I didn’t I would have ended up hurting mortals with the Madness.” I answered to her around the pipe. I looked at her and she was looking at me with a shocked expression. She shook her head and looked at me again. “You would give up the Madness the source of you unlimited power so you wouldn’t hurt My Little Ponies?” She whispered looking me dead in the face to see if I was lying. “Yes I would I would give away a great deal of my power to keep your ponies safe.” I said while I smoked my pipe. Celestia hugged me as she saw no untruth in my face or voice.
Chapter 5View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 5We were flying down the mountain slowly. I landed in the gardens and looked at the place that I burst out of the statue. I slowly walked over to the pedestal and sat down and started to sing. There were no words just a sad and haunting melody. As I sang all the inhabitants of the castle walked out and sat in the gardens looking at me with tears in their eyes. Well Courage didn’t but that is because he didn’t have any eyes to shed tears with. As the last note flew past my lips I stood and looked over the whole of the castle and bowed. Octavia walked up to me and bowed, I shook my head and picked her up and put her down on her hooves. “Don’t bow before me, I am not Royalty.” I said with sternness. I was able to hold it for a few seconds before I bust a gut laughing. She was shocked to say the least. “I am not bowing because I think you royal. I am bowing because you are a master of the arts. Anypony who could sing a song so moving that he brought an entire castle to tears is worthy of that title.” She looked up at me with a smile gracing her muzzle. I leaned down and hugged her. “Thanks for the compliment but I don’t deserve any title.” I said as I walked away from the now frowning pony and into the castle halls. After a few seconds of walking I pulled out a set of glow sticks and started to juggle them for no reason except to entertain myself. After a few minutes of Juggling I got bored so I made them disappear into thin air. “So you are going to keep them in check right?” Said Luna as she walked out of a alcove right next to where I was standing. I just nodded and kept walking.We walking in silence for most of my walk but as we reached my destination Luna spoke up. “I-I’m sorry that I jumped to the worst possible outcome without asking what your motives were.” Luna said with a blush. I just shrugged and turned her royal regalia into a banana suit. She was stound for a second but then she got really pissed so I teleported into my home and made it so that no non-chaos uses could get in. I hear pounding from the front door. “Paradox you get out here and take you beating like a stallion.” Bellowed in a voice that could shatter windows. I laughed when Fear and Courage teleported into my rooms, but my laughter was short lived as the worked together to undo my spell. Luna walked into my rooms with a triumphant look. I ran out of the house shouting obscenities back at the traitorous gods. “Stop running it will only make things harder for yourself.” Luna bellowed as she flew after me shouting threats of what she would do to me if she caught me. I kept running like my life depended on it. “I am not running I am advancing in the opposite direction.” I yelled over my shoulder as I teleported into Celestia’s bath. I jumped past a blushing Celestia and hopped out the window. I flew down to Canterlot and found myself at Doughnut Joe’s doughnut shop. I walked into the doughnut shop and sat down at the bar and ordered a chocolate milkshake and drank the glass and snorted the milkshake. “That was some good stuff thank you Joe.” I said as I stood up to pay, and as I did Luna burst through the door. I left some coins on the counter and jumped out of the window. Joe looked at the money for a second and noticed that they were gold one-hundred bit pieces. He gasped in amazement and swiped the money into his coin purse. “Alright I give.” I said as I suddenly stopped in the road making Luna fall into a mud puddle. She slowly stood up out of the water and walked over to me. She looked me up and down then nodded as she turned sideways, I waved my hand and the suit disappeared. She looked over her self and once she was sure that all the traces of that awful suit was gone she turned to me and hoofed me in the arm. I didn’t hurt but to make her feel better I rubbed the place with a salmon that I just found laying on the floor. “Alright so what do you want to do now that I have dragged you down from the castle?” I asked as I pulled out my compass that showed me where everything I could ever want is at. It was pointing to the east. I put it away and walked out into the actual streets and started to look at the shops. I pulled out my compus again and it was still pointing east towards a single stall. It was purple and there was a Unicorn standing there. I walked over to the stall and found that they were selling hot sauce. “Oh praise be to the old gods there is hot sauce in Equestria.” I cried with happiness as hot sauce is my favorite spice. I grabbed four bottles and put them in my shopping bag that wasn’t there a moment ago. “How much do I owe you?” I asked as I shed manly tears of joy. The unicorn that I now saw was a mare so we will refer to her a she. “150 Bits” She said trying to rip me off. I just made a gold and silver bit and placed them on the table. I walked away humming to myself as I reached Luna she had a hungry look in her eyes. “Would you like to cook with that ingredient that you just bought with fake money?” She asked in a tone that said this if I didn’t comply I would be in trouble for making money. I nodded as I headed to the next thing that caught my eye. It was a fortune tellers caravan. No one was even looking at it. so I walked up and rapped on the door. The door had a sign on it that read. All that find my shop will find the path to the truth. Now I know this place is legit. The door slowly opened and a blind earth pony was standing there. “Ah Paradox I was wondering when I would get to meet you.” Said the blind pony as he stepped aside so I could enter. I walked into the caravan and sat down on the throw pillow. The stallion walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a crystal ball. He set down the ball on the table and as he let it go it started to float on its own accord. “You future is riddled with many twists and turns. You will find love but it will not be in the soil but in the stars. Also you will have to fight an enemy of your own making, and your greatest ally will be your greatest enemy. This is all I can tell you.” The Stallion started to fade away as did his shop. I stood up on the now empty cobblestone patch as the Luna stared at me with a look of concern. I heard the stallions voice on the wind. “Let the spirits of the past be with you always.” The disembodied voice whispered in my ear as Luna walked up to me. I stood and dusted of my pants. “Are you alright you have been sitting there for a few minutes with a look of complete concentration.” She said as she looked me over. I thought about what the Spirit Elder had said to me, and with a look of surprise I looked over at Luna who had a look of worry on her face. ‘You will find love among the stars.” I whispered to myself as I started to walk back to the castle. Luna silently followed behind me as I thought on what he had said. I looked over at Luna as we walked. ‘Surely she doesn’t like me like that.’ I thought to myself as we reached the gates of the castle. We walked through the halls in silence. We arrived at the throne room just in time to see the door that I made for Mecytoc open and the Rattilion walked through the door. “Hello Paradox could you tell me where Fluttershy is?” Asked Mecytoc as he walked toward us with a hopeful look as he held a bouquet of flowers behind his back. I walked up to him and nodded and gave him directions to her rooms. After he was gone I caught Luna slowly tip-hoofing towards the door to the ship. I used my magic to shut and lock it. I walked to my door and leaned against the wall. “Luna before I make you some veggie tacos I need to ask you a question. Do you like me in a romantic sense?” I asked while looking at Luna with a piercing look that would pick up and non-verbal signs. “N-N-No what would g-g-give y-you that idea.” She stuttered as she blushed and backed away. I walked up to her and lightly kissed her on the lips she was shocked at first and she looked like she was going to hit me for a few seconds but she started to close her eyes and lean into the kiss. After a few seconds of kissing her I pulled back and she looked like she was in a dream come true. Or she was until she realized what happened then she was glowing she was blushing so hard. “Oh just a guess really.” I said as I opened the door and swung my arm to invite her into the my room. She slowly walked past me looking at me the whole time. I looked back at her and after she was inside I shut the door. I walked behind her and ran my finger up her spine causing her to shudder as I walked into the kitchen to start making tacos. I laughed as she walked into the kitchen and stood besides me with that same blush from before. She looked at me with tears in her eye. “Why are you teasing me?” She cried as she fell to the floor. I used my magic to pick her up and have her face me. I looked directly into her eyes and kissed her nose. I continued to cook as she cried. As I was finishing the last of the food I spoke up. “Do you know what I was doing today in that empty patch of ground?” I asked as I kept floating her around me and started to put the food on the table. After I was done I turned to Luna and she shook her head. “I was getting my fortune told by a Spirit Elder. One of the thing he told me is that I would find love in the stars.” As I said this Luna looked shocked and then she hugged me. I hugged her back. She backed up a bit and looked at me she pursed her lips and leaned into a kiss that was light and loving. We heard a cough from behind us and I turned around to find Celestia looking at me. “I think you have some explaining to do sister.” Said Celestia as she walked over to us with a frown on her face. I put her down and let them walk away from me and they started to have a heated conversation. After a few minutes of talking Luna was smiling and Celestia looked at me with a glare. She walked over to me and picked me up with her magic she held me a mere inch away from her face. “If you hurt my sister I will use all my power to erase you from existence.” she said as she passed out from the strain of holding me up. I picked her up and teleported out to her room and put her in her bed. I teleported into my home. I walked over to the kitchen and hugged Luna from behind. “Lets eat our dinner love.” I whispered into her ear as I kissed the back of her horn. I walked over to the table and puffed a single candle into existence and lit it with my lighter. I looked over at Luna who hasn’t moved since the kiss. She had a huge blush that went past her muzzle and went down her neck. I laughed as she fell over and made a sheep noise like Fluttershy did in the Dragon episode.
Chapter 6View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 6I woke up next to Luna in my bed. I slowly leaned down and kissed her awake. She blinked a few times and blushed again but leaned into the kiss. After a few seconds of loving kissing I pulled out and looked at her. “Did you sleep well love?” I asked in a whisper as I slowly started to rub her back. She leaned into my hand and started to purr. I looked at her with my head cocked to the head to the side and slowly started to laugh. “A-A-Are you purring Luna?” I said through my laughter as I looked at her. She stiffened and tried to leave the bed with tears in her eyes but I held her in with my magic. I started to kiss the back of her neck and she stopped resisting. “Your purring is very cute I like it.” I whispered into her ear as I kissed her neck. I slowly let her go and she cuddled up to me with a smile on her face. I looked over at my clock and almost lost my shit. “Holy shit it is 10:00 A.M. we need to get up the throne room right now.” I yelled as I jumped out of the bed and ran to the to my closet and found my clothes. As I put on my clothes I looked over at Luna who was doing the same thing with her royal regalia. After I was dressed in some slacks and button shirt. I teleported us to the throne room where the ponies were just filling in. We took our seats next to a grinning Celestia. All the ponies bowed to us and I grimaced. “All rise.” Said Celestia in a voice that sounded regal and commanding. The ponies talked amongst themselves and found a reasonable order to line up in. I just smiled at the first one to come up. She was a aqua blue unicorn pony and she looked at me with wonder. After a few seconds of staring she shook her head and looked at Celestia with a hopeful smile. “Hello I am the mayor of Fillydelphia I come asking if my fair city could get more rain this farming season.” Said the unicorn mare as she looked over the three of us. Celestia was about to say something but I beat her to the punch. “Miss Mayor does the farms around Fillydelphia have irrigation ducts spread around the farms?” I asked smiling as I already knew the answer. She looked at me funny with her head tilted to the side. “What pray tell is an irrigation duct and what does it have to do with farming?” Asked a perplexed unicorn pony as she looked directly at me. I chuckled shaking my head and waving my hand to a table that was in the corner of the room. “Lets head over there and I will explain.” I said as I walked on thin air over to the table. She looked at my magic with wonder. I just looked back at her and laughed. Settled down on the low chair and started to explain irrigation to her. “Ok here is how irrigation works.” I said making a laminated Fillydelphia and countryside map out of thin air. I started to draw red line onto the map around and through the farms. I capped the pen making it turn into a dog that ran out of the room. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued explaining how irrigation works. “So anyway you dig trenches on the red lines and they will fill with water. Then you will rely less on the rain and more on the river that runs right next to most of the farms and you can put gates in the water entrance points so you can regulate how much water is in the trenches at any given point.” I said slowly so she would get all the instructions on how to get water to the crops. She was smiling and at me as she nodded her head in understanding. She got up and ran out of the room to head back to Fillydelphia. I smiled at her love of her city and flew back to my throne and tried to figure out where we were and when I found out I was shocked as the pony in front of us was charged with raping a mare and she had a foal because of it. “Ah welcome back Paradox I was hoping you would be able to help us with this.” Celestia said with a frown as she didn’t like this case any more than I did. “Well I want to say off with his head. But that wouldn’t help anything so how about this.” I snapped my fingers and an iron hoof-coff appeared on his well hoof. I walked over to the guards that were holding him and gave them a map and a silver pawn piece from a chess board. I walked back to my chair and sat down. “All right I think that will do. Those things that I gave you will track his movements and if you see anything suspicious you can take him into custody. And for the foal he should pay half of his wage to the mare he raped so she can take care of the little one. Court adjourned.” I banged the air with a gavel and it sounded like the real thing. The pony was taken away and a new pair of ponies walked up. A yellow Earth pony stallion and a Green unicorn mare and they were carrying a foal in a blanket. “We come in hopes of receiving your blessing for our child.” Said the mare as she brought the foal up to the thrones and set it down. I looked at the child thoughtfully. Celestia looked at me with a frown probably thinking about what I could give him if I gave the blessing. “Paradox why don’t you give the child your blessing.” Celestia said as she looked at me hard as this is a chance to for me to show if I am truly evil. I nod my head much to the horror of the parents. I walk up to the child and knelt down. I flipped open the blanket and saw that the child was a unicorn. I thought long and hard about what I would do then I had an idea. I placed my palm on the childs head. “Let your fire warm the hearts of the young, let the stories of your ancestors be heard on the wind, and let your voice be that of an angel who guides the lost into the light.” As I said this first fire started to slowly started to circle around us, than words, than light. I pulled my hand and as my palm left his forehead the three blessing flowed to where it was laying making the mark of the bard, a campfire made out of words and a ray of light glowing from above. I walked away and walked over to my throne while the parents ran to check on their foal. I tried to jump up into my throne but Luna caught me with her magic and brought me in front of her. She leaned out of her throne and gave me a kiss. I heard many gasps from behind me but I didn’t care as I was kissing Luna. After a few seconds I was blasted away from Luna by none other than Blueblood who was stationed at the throne room. “You filthy ape you will die for seducing Princess Luna.” Said Blueblood as he charged up for another blast. But he never had a chance as the next second he found himself held in the air by his horn. I looked straight into his eyes and slowly drained him of his energy till he fell asleep in my grasp. I threw him to the guards. “Lock him in a cell with a magic dampener, and wait for further orders.” I said to the guards and they nodded and carried him away. I walked over to Luna who had a scared look on her face as she trotted up to me. “I am alright I was just surprised is all.” I said as I stroked her cheek. I heard stomping of hooves and I looked over the room and saw that the ponies were applauding us. Celestia walked down to us and looked over the entire room and then at us. After a few seconds she smiled and hugged us both. “You two go have a free day to yourselves.” Celestia said will much care in her voice. I looked her over with a glare as to see if she was just play acting or if she was truly happy for us. I found no untruths inside her so I hugged her much to the surprise of the room and teleported Luna and I to a remote island on the shores of Equestria. I also made a dwelling that we could enter if we so choose. “Well Luna what do you think our own little Island paradise.” I said as I brought her into a hug that soon turned into a kiss and then it turned into something else as we drifted away to the dwelling. A few hours later we came out of the dwelling soaked in sweat. I jumped into the water and started to frolick. I soon found myself under water and when I got back up I saw a laughing Luna. I just smiled with a gleam of maliciousness in my eyes. Luna looked directly into my eyes and gulped she tried to leave the water but whenever she tried to enter the shallows she found herself back where she started. “Oh Luna dear you do know this means war.” I said as I dunked her into the water and held her there for two seconds before pulling her gasping out and letting her catch her breath. I just smiled and hugged her. “You know if you keep being this cute things are going to get naughty real quickly.” I whispered into her ear as I started to rub her ears making her do that purr that I love so much. I carried her back to the shore and set her down on the beach. “I will be back in a moment.” I said as I teleported to the castle kitchen and ordered them to make a meal fit for a Island party and put it in a basket. As I waited to the food to be ready I contacted Luna with telepathy. “Hey Luna is there any food that you want specifically?” I asked her as I watched the cooks run around the room with haste. After a few seconds I heard the sounds of the shores and bird calls. “Yes actually, I would like a fruit basket.” Said Luna through the link as she looked over the waves and thought about what the relationship would mean for her country. “Alright somepony make a Fruit Basket as well and that is a royal order.” I bellowed out as this will be perfect if I have to die to make it so. I turned and started helping the cooks with their tasks. I jumped over a cooks assistant who was carrying a soup pot in his magic. After a few more minutes of chaos that is a kitchen at work I had everything ready to be moved. I teleported back to Luna with the food. “Hello love and are you feeling peckish?” I asked as I snapped into existence a table and chairs, and on the table sat a candle and a single moon lotus. “This is simply beautiful I would only be happier if you had a hand in making this spread.” She cried as she pulled me into a hug that a bear would be proud of. After a few seconds of not being able to breath I was once again on the ground where I belong. “Well it just so happens that I did help make this food.” I said with pride as I am a good chef or at least thats what I am sometimes told. I grabbed her in an embrace and twirled her around and we started to dance as I lead her through the motions. As we finished the last move of the dance she leaned in and gave me a very soft kiss and got down on all fours. She walked over to the table and sat down. I sat down at the other side of the table and rested my head on it as I stared dreamily at Luna then I realized what I was doing. I slowly brought myself to a full sitting position. ‘I am truly falling for this mare’ I thought to myself as I looked at Luna with much puzzlement and....love. I stood and slowly walked around the table. As I reached Luna I bent down onto one knee and asked the question that would make me the happiest man on Equis. “Will you marry me?” I asked as I poured all my love and feelings into that question that is seemed that my heart would burst. She was shocked but she slowly started to cry and nod her head and she mouthed the word yes. I pulled her into a tight embrace after our little moment we got up and kissed.
Chapter 7View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 7We teleported to the eating room in the castle. Luna slowly walked over to her sister and whispered into her ear. After a few seconds they both looked at me and giggled. I looked at them with an eyebrow raised clear off my face. I just shrugged and walked over to them. Celestia looked at her sister who had a look of wonder on her face as she looked at me. Celestia sighed and teleported to me as I was about halfway up the room. She got right in my face. “I can tell when my sister is sincere and she loves you more than even she knows. If you hurt her I will make you life a living nightmare.” She whispered to me as she glared at me straight in the eyes. I stepped back as I thought that this level of hostility was not possible for a pony to reach. After staring at her for a few seconds to see how serious she was I found that she would bring the sun down onto me if I didn’t make her sister happy. I gulped as that would not kill me but make me hurt forever in ways that I would rather not mention. I nodded my understanding, and she backed off to go talk to her sister. I finished my walk over to them. “So when are you going to actually tie the knot?” Celestia asked as she looked at me with a stare as if this was a test....which it is. I brought my hand to my chin and thought and after a few seconds of thinking I got the perfect idea. “On the longest night of the year, the winter solstice.” I said as I smiled at Celestia’s shocked face. After a few seconds of thinking she slowly smiled. “Maybe just maybe.” Celestia said cryptically as she turned around and walked away from us. Luna looked confused but I had a knowing smile on my face. “What did she mean by that Paradox?” Asked Luna as she frowned at me. I just grabbed her face in my hands and looked her in the eyes. “That is for me to worry about. You just keep being beautiful and my love forever.” I said as I leaned into a kiss and slowly moved my hands to the back of her neck. After a minute of kissing I was out of air so I pulled out and took a deep breath. I grabbed her up in my arms and teleported to my bedroom and set her down on the bed. I slowly changed into pajama pants and climbed into the bed and pulled her back into my chest effectively spooning her. “Goodnight my love I will see you in the morning.” I said will a mighty yawn. As I fell asleep I heard Luna whisper to herself. “He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.” She whispered to herself in a unsure tone that hurt a little to hear coming from her. My last act of that night was to pull her more snugly to my chest and then fall asleep. I awoke to a empty bed and sounds of Luna singing in the shower. I smiled as I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom and stripped down to my birthday suit. I slowly opened the shower and climbed in and shut the door. I snuck up behind her and put my arms around her neck and leaned my head on hers. “Hey beautiful how are you this morning?” I whispered into her ear as I blew a breath on her sensitive ear. I pulled away as she whinnied and flung up her hooves from being startled. She started to complain but I cut her off with a kiss as I grabbed the body shampoo and lathered her up. After a few minutes of lathering her up I brought the shower head down and washed her off. “You know I have been cleaned before but it is a completely different thing when it is done by your special-somepony.” She said as she headed out of the of the shower and dried off. She laid down on the rug and watched me through the glass door. I picked up the shampoo and lathered up my hair then the body wash and scrubbed my skin and then washed it off. I stepped out of the shower and dried off by superheating the water making it turn to steam. I walked into the kitchen and started to make some eggs and toast. “Hey Luna what do you want to eat?” I asked as she walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. She rubbed her chin for a few seconds till she got a bright idea. She whispered into my ear and I got a huge grin on my face, and nodded. After a half hours work breakfast was served. On the table sat two three high stacks of buttermilk pancakes. I started eating right alongside Luna. After a few seconds of wordless eating I stopped to catch my breath and looked over at Luna. “Luna look at me.” I said to her as I sat up straight and looked her over. She was fidgeting in her chair and looking anywhere but at me. After a few seconds she glanced at me and was shocked to see not an angry face but a concerned one. “Luna I heard what you were chanting to yourself as I was falling asleep. You never have to worry about that.” I placed my hand over her heart and looked her in the eyes. “I would die then see you sad or hurt so please for me believe in yourself.” I said as I pulled her into a hug. I looked over at the clock and was shocked to find that we had five minutes till the ponies came and did there thing. I pulled away from Luna and looked her in the eyes. “Go quick you don’t have much time.” I said as I pushed her into the bedroom and closed the door. I walked out of the hallway and grabbed some clean clothes from the fridge. Don’t ask me how they got there I didn’t put them there. Luna walked out of the bedroom and she was quite surprised when she saw a fully clothed me standing in the kitchen. She gave me a confused look to which I just pointed at the fridge with a shrug of my shoulders. She rolled her eyes and walked out of the house and over to the thrones were Celestia was already sitting. We sat down and the ponies poured into the room. “That was boring I mean nothing happened the entire day.” I said as I stretched my back and grabbed my mobile phone out of thin air. I checked the time and saw that it was close to dinner time. “Would you two like to join me for dinner?” Asked Celestia asked as we walked towards the throne room doors that lead to the halls. I pushed open the doors only to see Shining Armor and Cadance talking. I walked up to them and was about to bow to Cadance but I was swept up in a hug. “Oh thank you for making Auntie Luna so happy.” Cadence cried as she tried to suffocate me with hugs. After a few seconds too longs she let me down and I could breath again. “Anyway the reason I came over here is to offer you a chance to come to dinner with me and the Princesses.” I said with some gasping as I still was short of breath. I got two nods in the confirmative. I leaned on the wall and stared at Luna who had stopped in front of a stain glass window and the light bathed epon her in a way that made her look angelic. I walked over to her and placed my hand on her back. She looked at me with a smile and we all started to walk again. “So when is the wedding?” Asked Cadence as she walked alongside us. I looked over at her and thought for a few seconds on how I would answer this. When I was ready to answer I found that we had already reached the eating hall, and the ponies were looking at me with concern. I shook my head and looked at Luna with a smile. “Sorry about that I was lost in thought there for a moment. And to answer your question it is going to be on the night of the winter solstice.” I said to as I turned my head back to Cadence who was smiling like a school filly. “Oh how romantic.” She breathed out as she looked at her husband and started to rub up against him in a hugging fashion. Shining blushed at the attention but hugged back. I laughed at the couple. They just rolled their eyes and walked into the eating hall. Me, Luna and Celestia followed and sat down at the head of the table. Celestia rang a little bell and waiters came out and tried to take our orders but I waved them away. Celestia looked at me funnily. I got up and walked into the kitchen and after some shouting all but one of the cooks left the kitchen with angry looks on their faces. I was in the kitchen buttering up some bread and slapping it on the stove with some cheese. The other cook was crushing tomatoes for tomato soup. After a few minutes we walked out of the kitchen bearing grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. We set down the food but the chef was confused because I had him make an extra. I smiled and placed the food on the table next to my spot and set the cook down in the chair. “What I can't eat at the royal table.” Cried out the chef as she tried to leave the chair. But I held her in. I looked her in the eyes and asked a question. “What is your name?” I asked the mare cook as I looked her in the eyes. She gulped and mumbled something. I cupped my ear and hummed. “It is Warm Stove.” Said the cook as she shook, and looked around the table at the royal ponies that were looking at me as if I lost my mind. I looked up at them and gave them my best disapproving glare. I looked back at Warm Stove and put my hand on her head. “Well Warm Stove it is a rule of mine that the chef should eat at the table so they can see the reaction of the eaters so they can better their craft and seeing as we were the only chefs we need to sit at the table to see if they liked the food.” As I was saying this I was looking at the ponies at the table to see that they had a thoughtful look on their faces. After a few minutes of tense silence Celestia spoke up. “Miss Stove would you like to eat with us?” Celestia said as she looked at me with a smile as she likes it when her little ponies better themselves. Warm Stove nodded with happiness and sat down in her chair and started to eat with perfect manners. I sat down across for Luna and picked up my sandwich and started to eat. “So Luna what kind of celebration is held on the winter solstice?” I asked as I swallowed my bite of sandwich. I didn’t hear any reply and looked up to see that Luna was crying. I got up and went to her and gave her a hug. “What is wrong deary?” I asked my emotionally distraught wife to be. She turned and brought me into a hug that she desperately needed. I put as much warmth and love into the hug as I could. After a few moments she released me and looked at me with her eyes red and puffy. She sniffed a few times and finally told me why she was crying in the first place. “There is no celebration for the longest night of the year.” She said trying not to cry again but failing to do so, she leaned into me and started to cry some more I just held her and stroked her back. After a few minutes of crying she looked at me as she felt that something was going to happen. I looked her in the eyes and said the first thing that came to mind. “Well my beautiful princess, I am going to change that if it kills me.” I said to her as I pulled her into a hug that was so filled with warmth that the magic ice sculpture melted with in seconds.
Chapter 8View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 8I carried my beautiful Luna to the bed and set her down and gave her a loving kiss on the nose. I flopped down next to her and pulled her close. I slowly stroked her hair making her purr. After a few seconds of listening to her purr she started to snore. I slowly pulled myself out of the bed and just looked at her. “How are you doing this?” I whispered as my heart raced in little leaps and bounds just looking at her. I slowly crawled into bed and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t understand how you did this but I am glad you did my love.” I whispered to myself as I pulled her into my chest. I slowly stroked her hair for a few minutes till I fell asleep. I was looking over a field of battle the forces of Chaos vs the Demons of Tartaras. I saw a giant Doomlord charging the main force of my army. I flew in front of him and got struck by his massive flail, my black armor didn’t even dent. I hit him with a fish sending him over the horizon. I felt a massive power behind me and turned swinging my fish only to stop at the last moment seeing Luna. “Luna what are you doing outside of Canterlot. I can’t protect you if you're in the fighting zone.” I yelled as I shot a group of flying imps out of the sky with a Chaotic Blast. I turned around to see what was so important that she came outside of the safety of Canterlot. “Paradox this is not real you're dreaming.” She said as I looked at the around and saw the world slowly fade around me. I walked up to dream Luna and hugged her there was a flash of white. I opened my eyes to see Luna shaking me telling me that it was time to get up for the day I looked over at the clock and saw that it was 7:00 AM. So I begrudgingly got out of bed and put on some good looking jeans and a polo shirt. After we were dressed we teleported to the main eating hall which had many ponies as the lords and ladies had come for a royal announcement. “Heary Heary the Princesses will now deliver their announcement to the lords and ladies of the court.” Said a guard that could give the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money. The room was quite within an instant. Luna and I walked up to the front of the room and stood besides Celestia. Celestia walked forward and looked over her ponies. “My Little Ponies, my sister has chosen a stallion to be her husband.” She said with a happy smile on her face. The ponies cheered and hollered with glee. Celestia turned to me and nodded so I stepped forward, and stood next to Celestia. “Please say hello to Luna’s husband to be.....Paradox.” As Celestia said this the ponies went from cheering to yelling in an instant. I pushed my pointer finger to my lips and the ponies found themselves without any voice to yell with. I took two steps forward and stopped and looked over the room. “The princess’s choice is hers to make, and if you don’t like it well then you can leave. Because I sure as hell won’t.” I said to the ponies as they glared at me, but when my words sank in they turned their heads to Luna. Looked over them with a serious face, and then she nodded her head. Many ponies chose to leave with glares at me but the rest gave me a half hearted applause. I walked over to Luna and gave her a hug. We sat down across from each other at the table and started to eat. I in an after thought clapped my hands and gave the ponies back there voices. “Ok now lets eat sivle like shall we.” I said with a tone that made it a order not a request. The ponies sat down and started to eat. Nopony talked to me or anything like that but I watched them give me looks that spoke millions of words. They were not happy with Luna’s choice. I just shrugged and ate my meal. “So you are the one they call Paradox?” Asked a white unicorn with a blue mane and was wearing a fancy suit. I looked him over and noticed a white mare with a light pink mane standing behind him. “Yes I am Paradox what is it to you?” I asked as I charged up a small bit of chaos magic in my hand that was under the table. I was going to be prepared to fight if he attacked. “Good, my name is Fancy Pants and this is my wife Fleur de lis. And we were wondering if you would like to join us tonight at the garden party?” Asked Fancy Pants with a look of hopefulness. I Iooked deep into his soul to see if he wanted to just get close to the princess. I was quite pleased to see that he was interested in me and not my soon to be title. “I will be there.” I said with a friendly smile. I stood up and slapped myself with a brick which exploded into a large amount of fruit bouquets, sending me through through the ceiling all the way up to the top of canterlot mountain. I slowly flew down the mountain and through the giant hole in the roof of the castle. I used my magic to fix the roof but for some reason it was made out of chocolate “Sorry about that, it didn’t have the effect that I was expecting.” I said as I landed on the floor. The ponies were too busy eating the fruit bouquets that now I had a closer look at them had honey on every piece. I walked over to Luna who had a very worried look and gave her a hug. “Luna I am fine it will take lots more to hurt me then that.” I said as I stroked her hair. I pulled away from her and teleported into the throne room. I floated my throne down next to Luna’s and sat her down in her throne, I sat down next to her and held her hoof in my hand. There were no words as we held each others hands. After a few seconds Celestia walked in with a silly smile on her lips. She saw us and walked over to us. “Hey Paradox I must thank you for those delicious fruit bouquets. They were a hit with the royals.” Said Celestia said as she sat down and licked her lips as if there was some honey still there. We talked about the wedding for several minutes till the first ponies started to drift into the throne room at which point we started to sit up and try to look regal. At exactly 9:00 Am. we all stood up and welcomed the ponies. “Hello my little ponies and let us begin.” We said as we sat back down in our chairs. The ponies formed into a line and the first one walked up. I growled as it was Blueblood. He broke free of his guards and charged me. I just shook my head and blasted him in the face with a small amount of chaos making him fly back across the hall. I stood up and walked up to him. He tried to charge me again, I just punched him in the face knocking him several feet backwards where he stopped moving as he was unconscious. I walked over to the thrones and sat down. “So what do you think we should do with him?” Asked Celestia as she looked at him. I turned to her and looked at her thinking hard. “Well what I want to do him is cut off his head. But I have a much better idea.” As I said this I rose out of my throne and started to walk towards Blueblood’s body. Celestia tried to stop me but I just walked through her magic like it wasn’t even there. I knelt in front of his body and started to cast magic. There was a flash of white and instead of an adult Blueblood there was a little foal at least 3 years old. I passed the foal to the guards. “Give this foal to the orphanage with a thousand bits and have them raise him right.” I said with a finality. I walked back to my throne and laughed at Luna’s and Celestia’s shocked faces. I sat down on my throne and looked at the ponies that were watching me with wonder. I just laughed again. “Let the next case come forward.” Celestia said with finality and a large group of ponies walked forward. We walked out of the now empty throne room. I walked ahead of the other ponies and thought to myself. The pony princesses were talking to each other. I walked into an alcove I waited for them to pass me and called Courage to me. “You called.” Courages wispy voice called from the shadows. I turned to were the voice originated and bowed to my fellow god. “Yes I did. I need you to watch the pony that just entered the orphanage.” I whispered to him so Luna and Celestia wouldn’t know what I was doing. “Very well then.” Said Courage as he disappeared into the shadow realm. I walked out of the alcove to see the pony sisters looking for me. I walked up to them and tapped them on the back. They spun around and saw me standing there. “Where did you go?” Asked Celestia as she looked me over. I just shrugged and walked forward. As I got several feet away from the Princesses I turned my head to look at them. “I was dealing with the final part of the Blueblood case. If it becomes relevant I will tell you more. Oh and Luna could you sleep in your room tonight?” I said as I walked away from them, I opened a window and flew out into the night. I used my magic to break the sound barrier. In several moments I was at the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. I slowly floated into the main room and summoned up several Chaos constructs. They looked like wooden dummies with giant blades for arms. “What is your command master?” One of the constructs asked as they moved closer to me already sensing what my order is going to be. “Try to kill me.” I said as they rushed me at once. One of them attacked with a downward slash which I side stepped. I then proceeded to punch the construct in the face shattering its head. That one disappeared. One of them stabbed my from behind, I acted like I was dead so the construct would remove the blade then after it was outside of my body I delivered a mighty reverse roadhouse to its chest killing it instantly. The last one looked at me with a amount of inteligentes. He slowly circled around me till he was in the corner of my eye. He then charged me and tried to stab me. I spun around and caught the blade. I then proceeded to close my hand shattering the blade. The construct backed away from me but I rushed it as I charged a Chaos bomb. It kind of looks like the rasengan from Naruto but red. I pushed the bomb into its chest and activated it causing the poor thing to explode into a pile of rubber ducks. I healed my wound leaving a thin scar running up my chest and down my back. “Next time I need to give them more power.” I said to myself as I looked over the piles of wood and rubber ducks that my training had wrought. I snapped my fingers making them disappear. I then teleported to my the garden party after using my magic to clean myself up and put on the suit that was in my pocket. “Sorry I am late everypony but I needed some exercise before coming here tonight.” I said to the shocked crowd that was staring at me as they weren't expecting me to teleport there. I looked around to find Fancy and Fleur. When I found them I walk over to them and shook their hooves. “Thank you for inviting me to this garden party.” I said to the shocked Fancy Pants. After he got his lower jaw off the ground her smiled at me. “Well I am happy that you made it. I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.” Said Fancy Pants as he started to walk with me towards the food tables. About half way there I was tapped on the shoulders. I turned around to see a well dressed mare looking at me with a glare. “I’m sorry can I help you?” I asked uncertain as to what her deal was. Her glare became harder, I was sure if I wasn’t immortal I would have died right then and there. “Yes you can, My name is Silver Lining and I am Blueblood’s mother.” She growled out as I shook in fear......Well I would have if I couldn't die and if I so chose to, erase her from the time stream.
Chapter 10View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 10I looked over the room after booping Rainbow on the nose. There were many ponies looking at me with fear but one filly was looking at me with wonder. The little filly walked up to me and tugged on my pant leg. I bent down to her level so we could see eye to eye. “Are you mister Paradox that my sister Applejack was talking about?” Asked the filly that I knew from the start was Applebloom. I looked in her eyes and slowly nodded my head. I then proceeded to pick her up and give her a big hug. After I let her down I heard the ponies in the room let out a breath. I turned to them and gave them a bit of advice. “Hey didn’t you learn not to judge a book by its cover, I would have thought that the Zecora incident would have made you a bit more caring.” I said as I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest and looked over the ponies with one eye. The brought their heads down in shame. I brought my arms down and smiled at the ponies. “Don’t feel bad though cause you can learn still.” I said as I walked through the crowd of ponies. I arrived at the door to the outside world. I looked toward the west and saw a massive dust cloud. I flew up to the outskirts of town and landed only to see Luna and Celestia looking at the cloud with anger in their eyes. I started to walk towards the cloud of dust as it settled at the other end of the field. What I saw made me grit my teeth, an army of Diamond Dogs. I turned my head back to Luna and Celestia. “Let me handle this.” I turned back to the army and saw that they had sent somedog to talk. I teleported to the middle of the field and waited for him to get to me. After a few minutes he stopped a few yards away from me and looked me over. We were silent as the wind blew making the tall grass wave in the wind. “We are the Big Hound clan and we are here to take the ponies as slaves.” Said the Dog in a voice that was designed to intimidate. I looked at him with a glare. I walked up to him and broke his neck killing him instantly. There were many shouts from the Diamond Dog army but I ignored them. I put my pointer finger on my neck and accessed The Voice of The Titans which is 50 time louder than the RCV. “I am going to give you one chance to leave peacefully.” I shouted so loudly that the sky shook with the sound. The army started laughing as they readied their weapons to fight. I shook my head. “I gave you a fair warning.” I said as I brought forth a sword. I turned it upside down and then dropped it. It sank through the ground and a thousand giant blades slowly rose from said ground. I looked over the Diamond Dogs who had worried expressions stuck to their muzzles. “You shall all turn to dust and disappear.................... Scatter One Million Bladed Rose Blossoms.” I said making the the blades shatter into bladed petals floating on the wind. My hand rose and pointed at the Dogs who had started to run in the opposite direction. All the petals disappeared from mortal eye as the swarmed the Dogs. There was a billowing cloud of pink then nothing as the petals started to disappear into nothing. I turned around a walked over to the princess and sat down and shed a few tears at the loss of life. Celestia started yelling at me too angry to see the tears but Luna saw them clearly. She tapped her sister’s shoulder and pointed at my face. Celestia looked at me then at her sister. She sighed and looked closer at my face to find my face stained by tears. She shook her head and glared at me again but this time she asked a single question. “Why did you kill them?” She asked as she looked deep into my face. I looked at her and sniffed a few times. “I did it because they would had captured more ponies and ruined lives.” I said as I stood up and walked back into town. The ponies were cheering me as I walked. I saw Rainbow Dash flying towards me. I waved her over. I started to talk the second she was in range. “Hey Rainbow how are you.” I said in a depressed tone. She landed next to me as I walked through town. “I am great now that was awesome....Not as awesome as me though.” She quickly said to which I gave a chuckle. We arrived at the at the Golden Oaks Library at a quarter to noon. I walked up to the door and knocked. “I will be right there.” Twilight said from the upstairs portion of the tree house. I waited a few moments and the door opened to show a smiling Twilight Sparkle. “Hello Twilight how are things?” I said as I walked past her and into the main portion of the library. I sat down on the floor and started to meditate. “Its good......What are you doing?” She asked as she circled me a few times. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at her. “I am trying to meditate.” I answered her as I closed my eyes once again. My mind slowly filled with green light and I heard crying. I looked around and found a little girl sitting all alone. I walked over to her and patted her back. She looked at me with awe. “Who are you another tree spirit?” The little girl asked as she wiped her face with her hands. I slowly picked her up and walked away with her. I opened my eyes to see that she had followed me into the real world. I looked down at her shocked face. “I am not a tree spirit I am Paradox spirit of chaos.......and your new father.” I said as I heald the little girl in my arms. I heard many gasps one of which came from the girl herself but she quickly wrapped me up in a hug with tears in her eyes. “Thank you, I never had a father.”She cried out as she started to cry on my shirt. I just held her close and waited for the water works to stop. After a few minutes she calmed down and looked at me with big eyes. “So little one do you have a name?” I asked her as I put her on the ground. She shook her head no. I started to rub my non-existent beard. I thought for a few moments as I looked her over. She has tan skin, green eyes, and green hair. She was wearing a green dress that looked like it was made out of plant matter. I then scanned her for any powers that she had and I was shocked to find that she basically had control over the entire planet. With that knowledge under my belt I figured out what her name was going to be. “Well missy I have found a name for you......You shall from now on be known as Gaia.” I said as I picked her up from the ground and put her on my back. I then walked outside and pulled a branch down and cut it off with a toothbrush. I carried it as I walked through town and towards the train station. I walked over to the ticket booth. “Two tickets for the next train to Canterlot.” I said to the asked the train master. He handed me the tickets and waved me toward the platform. I looked at him funny and he shook his head and laughed. “You saved the town from Diamond Dogs the tickets are free of charge.” The train master said as I nodded my head in understanding. I walked over to the platform and sat my new daughter on the bench. “Daddy why are we just sitting here shouldn’t we get walking to where we’re going?” Gaia asked me as I sat down next to her. I placed my hand on her head and looked over the train station with a happy face as I always loved trains. The wood was red and all the benches were green. There was little vine drawings strewn about in seemingly no order at all. I then looked down at my Daughter. “Well Gaia if I tell you you will probably not believe me so I am going to wait and show you.” As I said that we both heard a loud train whistle and I smiled on the inside as I could give my love of trains to my little girl. I stood up and walked over to the side of the train station so the ponies wouldn’t get too frightened at our looks. The train pulled into the station and the ponies ran past screaming. Once they were all gone I walked up to the train and got on. Gaia who had been following me looked about herself in a daze of wonderment. We sat down at one of the tables and watched the train move towards Canterlot. Gaia looked out the window for a few seconds then looked at me with a smile plastered on her face. “You're right I wouldn’t have believed you if you had told me that we were going to be picked up by a huge metal snake.” She said with wonder on her face as she glanced here and there, trying to look at everything at once. “If you can focus on me for a moment I will explain now what this is and how it works but first I must ask the conductor something.” I said as I stood up and walked down the aisle towards the front of the train I stopped at the door and turned back to the girl with a stern look on my face. “Don’t move from that spot.” I said as I walked through the door and down the other train cars to the engine room. I arrived at said engine room and beheld a black earth pony with a train car as his cutie mark. “Hello is this train a steam engine or a coal burner?” I asked as I looked over the pony conductor. He stepped back a few paces and gulped a few times. After a few seconds of looking shocked her shook his head and looked at me with a smile. “It is a steam engine mate.” Answered the conductor pony as he turned back to the task at hoof. I turned and walked back to the aisle and walked down the train till I got to Gaia. I then sat back down in my seat and smiled at Gaia how had an excited smile covering her entire muzzle. “Let me guess you are ready to learn about this thing you're in.” I? laughed out as she started to bounce in inpatients. She nodded so fast that she would have given Pinkie a run for her money making me laugh all the harder. “Alright you are on a vehicle called a train, more specifically a steam engine. The train heats water to make steam which is harnessed through something called a pisten, we will go over those at a later time.” I said as we entered the tunnel that leads to Canterlot’s train station. We got off the train and walked up to the castle and through the halls. We arrived at the throne room as the last pony petitioning for the day. We walked into the room and were noticed by Luna and Celestia who had a shocked look on their faces. “Hey Luna meet Gaia our new daughter.” I yelled in the RCV as I beamed with joy at Luna. She looked at me and then back at Gaia then back at me. She then proceeded to pass out and fall out of her throne, Making me laugh. “Daddy why did you make the pony lady faint?” Said Gaia as she looked at her new mother with an interested expression.
Chapter 11View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 11The room was quiet after Gaia asked her question. I looked at her and leaned down so she could hear me whisper. “That pony lady is your mother so be respectful.” I whispered and looked at her with a stern gaze. Gaia looked at me then at Luna, she nodded her head and sat down next to the door. I stood back up to my full height and walked down to the thrones. “Before you ask she is the spirit of nature.” I said as I walked past Celestia who in the time I was talking to my daughter had walked up to me. I knelt down next to Luna and lifted her into my arms. I walked over to Gaia. I set Luna down on the floor and looked at Gaia. “I am going to get some salt stay with her.” I said as I got back up and headed over to my rooms. I walked into my front door and saw Fear sitting in one of the chairs watching a movie on the wide screen. I walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned and looked at me nearly spearing me with his horn, he smiled sheepishly in apology. “Hey Fear what are you watching.” I asked as I looked at the movie trying to remember if I have seen it before. He chuckled and turned back to the screen. “It’s call Mist and it is a very good movie with a terrible ending.” He said as a girl got stung by some mutant wasp. I grimaced as the girl in the film started to swell up like a puss filled wart. I shook my head at this nasty film and walked into the kitchen and grabbed the smelling salt. I walked out and looked at the screen and wished that i hadn’t as the girl was split open in a few places and there was a thick pus oozing out. I shuddered and walked back out into the throne room to see that Celestia and Gaia were laughing together. I smiled as I walked towards them tapped Celestia on the back making her spin around with a blush. “She seems adequate.” Celestia said quickly making me and Gaia laugh rolling on the floor holding our sides. I stood up and walked to the blushing Celestia and pulled her into a hug. “It’s ok to like my daughter Celly.” I said as I let her go and looked at her with my hands on her shoulders. I smiled and let her go happy to see that she had calmed down somewhat. I then pulled out the smelling salts and wafted them around Luna’s nose making her sneeze. She blinked a few times and looked at me with a smile. “Oh Paradox I had the strangest dream. You had brought a little human girl and told me it was my daughter.” She said with a laugh not seeing Gaia who was directly behind her. I saw out of the top of my eye Gaia’s eyebrow shot up. I started to snicker and hold my hand over my mouth trying not to laugh out loud but Luna was looking at me directly so it didn’t hide anything. “What’s so funny?” Luna asked as she raised one eyebrow making me lose all sense of composer and burst out laughing I could only point past Luna at Gaia. Luna turned around curious as to what was so funny. When her eye’s came into contact with Gaia she started shaking. She turned back to me with smile and hugged me. “I am going to be a mother?” She asked as she shed tears on my shirt. I pulled her into me and smiled. “Yes my love you are going to be a mother and a great one at that.” I said as I stroked her back. Gaia came over to us and gave her new mother a tearful hug. Luna gasped and looked at Gaia with a mix of fear and joy. “I-I have a m-m-mother.” Gaia cried into Luna’s shoulder. I looked over them and then seeing that they were having a moment together I backed up to Celestia who was looking over them. Once I was standing next to her she looked over to me and asked a question that I was not prepared for. “How do you do it......How is it that you always know what to do to put a smile on her face.” Celestia asked as she looked over me with a mix of happiness and anger as she isn’t always as good at telling what would make her sister happy. “I don’t I have always wanted a daughter of my own and seeing this young spirit all alone I couldn’t help but choose to adopt her.” I said without looking over at Celestia as I watched my family. After I saw that the moment was coming to a close I turned to Celestia to see that she had a shocked face. “Y-y-you always wanted a family?” Celestia asked uncertainly as I looked her over. I smiled and nodded my head giving her a non-verbal yes. After a few moments Luna with Gaia sitting on her back walked over to us. I smiled and ruffled Gaia’s hair and led them to our rooms. I opened the door and walked into the main living room to see that Fear had finished his movie and left. I saw a note on the table so I picked it up and read it. “Paradox nice job on the daughter I have moved out and am now living in one of the guest rooms. PS Courage stopped by Blueblood’s mother tried to take him out of the orphanage. She is under house arrest until you decide what to do with her. Signed your faithful servant Fear” After I finished reading the note I burned it to ash. I turned to the living room and looked at Luna and Gaia who had concerned looks on their faces. “I have somthing to take care of I will be back in a moment.” I said and closed my eyes teleporting out of the room without listening to their protests. When I opened my eyes I was outside of a pristine white marble manner. It was on one floor and in a circle. It had many decorations and engravings of ponies that were from the past on the rim of the roof. I slowly walked up to the front doors that I saw were flanked by two of Luna’s unicorn guards. I nodded to them and they bowed as I walked in through the front door. I walked towards the essence of Silver Lining. I arrived at the dining room, I saw Silver Lining sitting at the head of the table eating a veggie soup. She looked up from her soup and saw me standing in the doorway. After a few second she sighed and continued eating. “I am to guess that from you respond you know why i am here?” I asked already knowing the answer. She looked back at me and glared but unlike last time it didn’t phase me in the slightest. I walked to the other end of the table and sat down. “I am going to be plain here. I gave you a warning about what would happen if you tried to interfere with Blueblood’s raising I would make you life miserable and I wasn’t joking. So this is what is going to happen you are going to go to court tomorrow and I will give you your punishment there and if you try to run away I will put a bounty on your life.” I said as I sat in that chair. After I was done I stood up and bowed to the pony. I stood back up to my full height and teleported back to my rooms where Luna and Gaia were sitting and watching The Wizard of Ozz. I silently walked up behind them after I was right next to them I leaned down and whispered into their ears. “How is the movie?” I whispered to them making them jump straight into the air. Once they had brought their breath under control they both glared at my from which was currently rolling on the floor laughing. After a few minutes of laughing I was able to stop with only a few chuckles breaking out. I stood up and met their glares with a smile. “So what did you have to go do?” Asked Luna as she walked over to me still with a small glare firmly plastered on her face. I walked into her and pulled her into a hug. I held her there till she felt better about my little trick. “I had to personally deliver a court hearing to Blueblood’s mother.” I answered as I walked into the half circle of chairs and sat down. I put my head in my hands and sighed. After a few moments of this I looked into Luna’s eyes and saw something that I had hoped I would never see from her, fear. “W-w-what do you plan on doing to her?” Luna asked with fear in her voice. I looked at her my eyes clearly showing hurt. I stood up and walked into the kitchen. I pulled down the special bottle of Moonshine that I keep up there for such purposes. I pulled out the top and drank a huge mouthful and then replaced the cap and put the bottle back where I got it. I stumbled into the living room and sat back down. “Luna she....hic she will be fine her pride will be....hic will be hurt but she’ll be fine.” I mumbled out as I fell out of the chair and onto the floor out cold. Luna rushed over to me and picked me up. She carried me to bed and looked over me tears in her eyes. “Don’t do anything you will regret.” Luna said as she looked over me. She climbed into the bed and fell asleep. I woke up and looked over to the door and I saw Gaia standing there with a look of confusion. “Where am I going to sleep?” She asked as I stood up and walked over to her. I picked her up and walked down the hall to an empty bit of wall I waved my hand and brought a pick door into existence. I opened it to show a large white room with a pink bed and a blue dresser. I set her down and smiled. “This is your room and you can do with it as you wish.” I said as I walked out of my daughters room and into the hallway. I walked into our room and saw something that sobered me right up and set a fire to my loins. Luna was sitting in bed her eyes were have lidded and she was biting her lower lip. The next morning I had a humongous head ache. I slowly sat up and pulled the covers off of myself. I stood up and saw that Luna was not in bed. I heard a crash from the kitchen and went to go investigate what I saw nearly made me die of over exposure to daww. Luna was sitting on the floor with pancake mix covering her face and there were several pans surrounding her. “Luna you look very cute and I can teach you how to cook at a later date but I was thinking of taking you and Gaia to breakfast at the main eating hall.” I said as I leaned against the wall with a smirk on my face. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I would make such a worthless wife. I can’t even cook.” Luna cried as she fell to the floor in a big mess of mix and pans. I used my magic to clean the room and Luna. I knelt down and hugged her. “You huss....Just cause you don’t know how to cook now doesn’t mean that you can't learn.” I said as I stroked her hair and picked her up off the ground and set her down on her hooves. I looked at her with a happy face and kissed her on the lips. “Ewwww.” Gaia said from behind us making us laugh. We both pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the top of the head. She repeated her line and then squirmed out of our legs and arms. She stuck her tongue out at us only for me to grab it. She panicked as I had her tongue firmly gripped in my fingers. “That is not something befitting of a lady--Now I am going to let go are you going to do it again?” I asked to which I got a very small head shake. I released her tongue and she quickly pulled it back into her mouth. “Now young lady go get dressed we are going to the main eating hall to see Auntie Celly for breakfast.” I said as I dried my fingers on my pant legs. She smiled at the mention of Celestia and ran into her room to pick out some clothes for the day. We waited a few minutes for her to get back in the living room. When she was back I put one hand on Luna’s back and the other one inside Gaia’s hand. After we were all connected I teleported us to the main eating hall. Once the light from my teleport died down we grabbed a seat at the top of the table. Celestia was sitting down at the head while Luna and I sat on her right side and Gaia sat on her left. We sat eating and talking for about half an hour. When it was time we got up and walked to the throne room. Once there I taught Gaia a little magic so she could make her own throne. I gave her a seed. “Alright Gaia I want you to imagine in your mind this seed growing into a chair made of wood that looks like our thrones.” As I said this Gaia had her eyes closed and she was concentrating really hard after a few moments the seed started to glow green and it started to grow. Gaia dropped it on the ground at the base of the stairs. The seed continued to grow and twist and turn until a throne made out of wooden vine sat next to the stairs up to our thrones. She sat down on the throne and tried to look as regal as possible. The rest of us after smiling at each other over her succes sat down and the day began. The crier started the day with the case that I was not looking forward to. “We will start today with the trial of a Miss Silver Lining.” Yelled the crier as she read from a scroll and I sat up straight my eyes smoldering with anger. A pair of guards brought Silver Lining to the base of the steps and she stared at me with a glare that could pierce iron plating. “Lets get this over with so I don’t have to look at you and you ugly daughters faces as long shall we.” Silver Lining said with a sneer. Luna’s stare at me turned to a glare of pure hate that was directed at Miss Lining. Gaia was trying to hold back tears and Celestia looked like she was about to send her to the moon. While I was calm simply calm and that scared Silver Lining more then anything.
Chapter 12View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 12The room was dead silent. I slowly stood up and walked down the steps to Silver Lining. I stood looking at her my face unreadable for a few seconds. I slowly rose my hand into the air and slapped her sending her to her knees. I turned back to see that my daughter was crying. This brought tears to my eyes. I walked to her and gave her a reassuring hug. After she had cried herself dry I let go my shirt all but ruined by the tears of my family. I turned to Luna and saw her looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Luna take Gaia and leave the room please. I don’t want you to see what is going to happen here today.” I said barely above a whisper as my mask broke down for a moment and showed the massive amount of anger that I now held. She froze when seeing this. “Gaia go to the house and wait there for one of us to come and get you.” Luna said without looking away from my face as I struggled to reform the mask of calm that I had over my face. Gaia looked at me then at her mother and nodded her head and scrunched up her eye real tight as she vanished in a swirl of leaves. After I finished fixing my mask in place I turned back to Miss Lining who was still on the floor with a shocked look on her face and one cheek starting to bruise. “That was not your punishment I will have you know that slap is for insulting my family. This is your punishment.” As I said this I pointed my finger at her using my magic I pulled her soul out of her body. Her body lay sleeping on the floor and her spirit was looking at her body with a fearful expression. She looked at me her face in total shock. “A-am I dead?” Silver Lining asked after a few seconds of staring at me with a slightly glazed over look in her eyes. I shook my head and started to deliver the next two parts of her punishment. “No you are not dead your body is asleep and will stay that way until your son reaches adulthood. Now for the next two parts of your punishment shall we. The first part is that I will make it so that nopony is able to see or hear you. The second part is that I will bind you to your son so that you can’t leave his side. You will watch your son grow up without you being able to corrupt him.” As I said this I snapped my fingers in twice in quick succession and she disappeared from view. After she had disappeared for a few seconds I slowly breathed in through my nose making the torches around the room dim and stutter. I then breathed out forcing all my anger into that single action the torches flared up like fireworks shooting gouts of flame ten feet into the air. I the ponies froze in awe of the elemental magic that I was showing as it is the hardest magic for a unicorn to accomplish. I heard some footsteps from behind me. I turned around to find a smiling Luna. “You could have just killed her but you choose the higher road to travel on.” Luna said as she pulled me into a kiss and the whole crowd started to stomp their hooves in joy at seeing me do the right thing and not just the easy thing. I slowly walked to my way towards my house and opened the door. “Gaia its me dad you can come out now.” I yelled into the house Gaia walked out of her room. She came up to me and gave me a hug. She sniffed a few times and I picked her up and walked her out to her throne and set her down. I started to walk up to my throne but she caught my sleeve and pulled me down to her level. “Thank you for being my daddy.” She said as she hugged me again and pulled away and I saw her wipe some tears out of her eyes. I smiled and walked up to my spot amongst the royal ponies and sat down. The crier yelled out the next group of ponies that had a complaint and I was never happier to start a mind numbingly boring task as court. We were done with the court for today and court wasn’t open tomorrow so I thought that I would take my family out to a swimming spot that I found on my trek into Ponyville. “Hey Gaia shall we go eat with Auntie Celly?” I asked with a look of serious contemplation on my face. Gaia giggled at me and nodded her head. I turned my head to look at Luna and got a head nod in reply so I started to walk down the corridors and through the halls. Once I arrived at the Main eating hall I was unsurprised to see Celestia eating a cake. Gaia and I burst out laughing at Celestia’s look of endearment at being caught snacking instead of eating an actual meal. After we sat down I looked at Celestia and a bright light bulb appeared out of nowhere and just floated over my head. I pointed a finger gun at it and fired causing it to explode into a large amount of confetti. I snapped my fingers and made a whole box of Twinkies appeared on the table I took one out and handed it over to Celestia. “Here try this its a type of cake from my world.” I said as she unwrapped it with her magic and gave it a small nibble. Her eyes became unfocused for a second and then she shook her head and gave it a large bite eating it in one bite and started to chew....and purr. I looked at Luna who was desperately trying not to laugh and failing miserably. I looked back at Celestia to see that she was glaring at Luna at which point I started to laugh my ass off. “Luna be nice to your sister.” I said through my laughter as I stood up and walked to the kitchen entrance. I walked around looking for Miss Stove with no luck. I felt a tap from behind and turned around to see the pony that I was looking for smiling at me. “Ah Warm Stove it is good to see you again I would like it if you could make some Spaghetti with veggie sauce for four and bring them out to us please.” I said to which I got a nod and she started to cook breakfast for Me,Luna,Gaia,and herself. I I walked out of the kitchen and sat down at my seat next to Gaia who was planning a prank on one of the noble ponies that is particularly annoying. “Hey Daddy me and Auntie Celestia need your help with a prank we are pulling on Mister Silver Coins.The main Silversmith in Canterlot and meany head extraordinaire.” She said as she pulled my sleeve to get my attention. I turned to her with a major smile and started to whisper to her. As she listened to me her smile got larger and larger till she had a full shit eating grin plastered on her face. I leaned back into my seat and looked at Luna who had a scowl on her face but laughter in her eyes. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at her. I smiled as I felt Miss Stove walk into the room with four plates of spaghetti. She set the plates down and sat down a seat away from Luna as she knew that arguing at me that she couldn’t sit at the table would be useless. “So how does it taste?” Warm Stove asked as she took a bite from her own plate. She smiled at the food as she has been getting better and better at cooking and is in line to a promotion. “It is good the sauce needs a bit more salt but its a minor complaint it is very good besides that.” I said as I slowly chewed the food. After I finished chewing I gave her a thumbs up. “So Luna and Gaia I was thinking that we go swimming tomorrow.” I said as I finished up with my dinner and sat back with my hands on my stomach. I looked over at them and saw that Luna had a thoughtful look while looking at Gaia who was bouncing up and down in her chair looking at her mother with a hopeful expression. “We can go but only if you wear floaties.” Luna said with a smile as she leaned over the table and ruffled Gaia’s hair. Gaia then floated over the table with a strong wind and hugged her mother. I just laughed as Luna looked at her daughter's magic. Luna turned to me to explain how the magic worked. “She used a strong gust of wind to carry her over also lightening her weight by giving herself the physical properties of a feather.” I explained as I laughed my ass off. I pulled members of my family into a group hug, and yes that includes Celly. Me, Gaia, and Luna were all sitting around my TV as I pulled out a classic movie Dances with Wolves. I pulled out a bag of popcorn and handed that to the girls as they were captivated by the heartwarming movie. As they looked at the movie I smiled as that would keep them occupied for a time and slowly crept out of my rooms. Once outside I started to walk towards Fear’s room. Once there I heard shouting as I walked in I saw something that made me laugh. Sitting there was Fear who was playing World of Warcraft and yelling into a headset about his team who were fucking up a raid. “Hey go easy on them they can’t be perfect like us you know.”I said as I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and paused time which I was thankful for as I am going to save energy to the best of my ability. “So you came here for a reason I take it.” Said Fear as he stood up and stretched after a long gaming session. He patted me on the back and walked into the kitchen part of the rooms. He handed me a beer and I chugged it down and ate the glass. He looked at me funny but tried the same thing only for it to taste like rock candy. He shrugged his shoulder and popped the whole thing into his mouth and started chewing. “Yes I did-- are you doing anything important tomorrow?” I asked as I slowly chewed my glass bottle. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and shook his head. I smiled at him and patted him on the back. “Good go to ponyville tomorrow and bring some swimming trunks.” I said as I walked out of his room so he could get back to his game. As I reached my door I felt time start again. I slowly opened the door to see that they were just getting to the good part. I sat down and grabbed some of the popcorn from the bowl and a took a bite. Luna pulled me into her and kissed me on the cheek I looked over at Gaia who was making a sick face. I laughed and pulled her over to me with my magic and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “Ewww daddy that's gross.” She said as she pulled away from me and crawled back to her spot on the couch and sat down glaring little pick plastic daggers at me. I just smiled innocently and looked at her. “Is something wrong little one?” I asked her as my smile changed to a troll face. She saw this and smiled evilly at me and I could only gulp. “Daddy you do realize that this means wars right?” She asked me to which I grinned and shook her hand. “May the best spirit win.” I said in a whisper as we shook hands as we both had foolhardy grins on our faces.
Chapter 13View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 13I awoke from my slumber and slowly stretched out my limbs I turned over to look at my wife to be. Slightly smiling to myself I leaned forward and gave her a deep and passionate kiss to wake her up, she scrunched her eyes for a moment before relaxing and leaning into me and deepening the kiss. I broke away with a bit of happy laughter and sat up and was soon followed by Luna. She slowly crawled out of bed and started to walk towards the door as I was now floating in front of my closet and looking for a decent pair of swimming trunks. “I got the shower first.” Luna called back to me with a cheerful tone. I turned and look at her as she walked out of my line of sight. Shrugging my shoulders I walked into the hall and headed towards Gaia’s door and knocked. I heard some light grumbling come from inside, I smiled at the little prank I was going to pull. “Ok then Gaia if you don't want to go swimming and sleep instead thats fine by me!” I yelled trying to hold the snickers back. Hearing Gaia jump out of her bed and run around the room frantically trying to get ready was too much for me so I bit down on my hand and walked back into my room where I proceeded to bust a gut laughing. I walked over to the closet again and pulled out some red swim trunks and look them over closely before shrugging my shoulders and putting them inside a bag with a towel that i summoned into my hand. I smiled at my power and chuckled at the absurdity of it all. “It’s like I am in a poorly written fanfic.” I whispered to myself with a frown at that thought. I looked around suddenly thinking that it just might be the case. Seeing no writer I let my shoulders that I hadn’t realized were raised relax. Shaking my head while walking over to my oak dresser I pulled out the top drawer and pulled out a pair of blue jeans, a white button up shirt, and a pair of socks. I quickly got dressed and walked out into the hallway only to be bowled over by my daughter. “Gaia don’t run inside.” I said with a frown as I stood up and dusted off my pants. I looked her over and saw that she was wearing dark green swimming trunks and had a brown tee shirt as her top. I nodded in approval, walking over to her I picked her up with a smile on my face. Walking into the kitchen I plopped her down onto a chair and pulled out some cereal, milk, and a spoon. Placing them on the table I took a step and smiled at Gaia, she looked at me and then at the food. “Dad I can't eat this with out a bowl.” She said pouting her lips and turning her head towards me. I had laughter in my eyes and my smile only got bigger. “Just pour the cereal and be ready to be amazed.” I said with a bit of mystery in my voice. She looked at me funny for a few seconds before she shrugged and turned back to the table. Picking up the cereal box she turned it to its side and when the flakes started to fall they fell and landed inside an invisible bowl of magic. She looked at the seeming impossibility for a bit before turning to me with a grin on her face she giggled before she turned back to her food and poured the milk and started to eat. I heard the sound of hooves crossing the carpet and I smiled as I walked past her heading for my own shower. As I stepped out of the bathroom I looked over the entire house and smiled. I walked into my room and picked up my bag, with a little whistle I walked towards the door and waited for my girls to be ready. After a total of 45 minutes of waiting they walked towards me from the back rooms that shall not be mentioned again. I frowned as there was nothing new about them and I would know as I had seen them both before I took my shower. Shaking my head I opened the door and bowed them out just like a gentleman. Walking through the halls we arrived at the Canterlot court yard. “Daddy what are we doing here aren't you going to teleport us there?” Gaia asked with a frown of concern as she can sense that I am fearful of something. I shook my head and smiled to disarm her concern. I hopped on top of a boulder and patted the top. Guessing correctly what I wanted them to do they flew up and sat on the broad top. Using my magic I made the rock defy gravity and fed on the chaos that it made, then I made a strong wind push us forward. While doing this I was looking over the countryside, when I was sure that nothing was going amiss I allowed myself to relax and I sat down facing my family. “Who wants to hear a song?” I asked with a smile grow on my face even though I still felt like something was going to go wrong. Both Luna and Gaia through up their respective appendages with huge smiles on their faces. I laughed at their eagerness. Slowly my roars of laughter turned to mild chuckles and then into silence, I took a deep breath and started to hum to get myself in tune. “When I was just a wee little lad, Full of health and joy, My father homeward came one night And gave to me a toy. A wonder to behold it was With many colors bright And the moment I laid eyes on it, It became my heart's delight. It went "Zip" when it moved, and "Bop" when it stopped, And "Whirrr" when it stood still. I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will. The first time that I picked it up I had a big surprise Cause right on the bottom were two big buttons That looked like big green eyes I first pushed one and then the other, Then I twisted it's lid And when I set it down again, here is what it did It went "Zip" when it moved, and "Bop" when it stopped, And "Whirrr" when it stood still. I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will. It first marched left, and then marched right And then marched under a chair And when I looked where it had gone It wasn't even there I started to cry, but my daddy laughed 'Cause he knew that I would find, When I turned around my marvelous toy Would be chugging from behind. It went "Zip" when it moved, and "Bop" when it stopped, And "Whirrr" when it stood still. I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will. The years have gone by too quickly it seems, I have my own little boy And yesterday I gave to him My marvelous little toy: His eyes nearly popped right out of his head And he gave a squeal of glee! Neither one of us knows just what it is But he loves it just like me! It still goes "Zip" when it moved, and "Bop" when it stopped, And "Whirrr" when it stood still. I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will.” I sang, the last few words coming out slower than the rest. I smiled at my family for a half second before the sound of screaming was heard. I quickly got up and ran to the side of the boulder and nearly cussed at what I saw. The town of Ponyville on fire and Demons chasing the citizens around. I looked towards the large field outside the town. I nearly froze from what I saw, an Overlord one of the strongest non-royal Demon types there are. “Once we have the elements of harmony locked away in Tartaras there is no force on this planet that can stop our dark master!” The Overlord bellowed as he started to walk into the streets destroying whole blocks of houses in one swing of his mace. I gritted my teeth and flew down towards him snarling in rage.
14View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian Adventure14The demon was destroying lives and smiling while doing so. Once I realized that it was taking pleasure from killing, I felt new waves of anger was over me and the sheer force of my rage almost burned away the atmosphere. Feeling the heat the demon turned to me and swung his mace. Holding out my hand I simply caught it in one palm then sent a wave of my anger through it and the mace shattered. I pulled out the mage staff from the air and started to channel power through it. The staff lit up with a searing red light and the demon took some steps back as the power that was coming off of the staff was just as powerful as a Third Seat Royal Demon. Pointing the staff at the Overlord I shot him in the chest with a red beam of hate and anger. The beam tore a hole about the size of a hummer wheel through his chest. The beam continued to fly towards the Everfree Forest and when it hit it surprisingly exploded turning all the trees for at least fifty meters into dust. "You don't deserve a clean death like this but I am merciful." I said to the quickly dying Overlord while I teleported him to the outskirts of the town. I felt a fearful presence coming towards me from up high. Looking Up I saw Luna floating down towards me. "You need to take Gaia back home. While I deal with this." I said after flying up to Luna. She shook her head and started to say some thing but I shushed her. "You need to stay with her, she needs you more then I do." I said with sadness in my voice as I would never said away Luna unless I felt as if there was a serious danger to her. She stared at me for a few seconds before giving me a small nod. Turning around she started to pull the floating bolder back towards Canterlot. Turning around I started to kill as many demons as I could get my hands on. I felt no emotions as I slaughtered them all. ---------------------------------------------------------------------A Few Hours Later-------------------------------------------------------------- I was looking over the carnage that had been wrought thinking about what the Overlord had said. 'Once we trap the Elements in Tartars nothing will be able to stop our dark master.....dark master.....an enemy of your own making.' "What does it mean?" I whispered to myself as I looked over the entire town and see that many ponies had died today. I let a small tear fall from my face. I slowly let my self myself float closer to the ground. The ponies of Ponyville gathered around me and started asking about what I was planning on doing. Looking at the crowd I let another tear fall from my face. "Gather the dead and we will give them there last rights in the old way." I said just loud enough for the entire silent group to hear. There was a collective agreement and I slowly and depressingly walked towards the outside of the town where the grave yard is located. I sat on a stump of a tree and waited for the ponies to get back. After half an hour I noticed that a large group of ponies where heading in my direction. Standing up I noticed that they were lead by Celestia, Luna, and Gaia. I stood and waited a few more minutes and when they got there I held up my hand to show them to wait. Walking past them I approached the large group of ponies that were carrying there dead families. Looking over the still group I turned and walked father into the grave yard. Once I reached a place where the dead hasn't been placed yet and the ponies where standing behind me. I pulled out my mage staff and tapped its butt on the ground twice in each patch of earth cleanly rose out of the ground and dumped themselves next to the holes in the ground. Turning around I looked over the entire group including my family and let tears fall down my face as I looked over the emotionally traumatized love ones of the recently deceased. "Place your loved ones into there graves and I will send there souls on to the afterlife." Nodding the families found places for there loved ones and started to shovel dirt into the graves with there bare hooves and with tears running down there faces. Once the graves were filled in I slowly bent forward and said a repairer to both the dead and living ponies. The souls of the dead ponies appeared standing on there graves and smiled at there families and wished them happiness in there lives before disappearing into the sky. Looking around I felt hot tears and my vision started to blur. I slowly sank to my knees and let out the fountains of tears that I had not let myself shed until taking care of the dead was finished. I felt the hugs of both Luna and Gaia and I looked up at them and slowly wrapped my arms around them. "I am sorry I couldn't save them all......I tried but I was not quick enough." I choked out to them both while streams of hot tears fell from my eyes and traveled down my face to fall from my chin. I felt my energies drop and I started to fade from view slightly. Luna and Gaia panicked and held on to my tightly shouting my name. Looking up I see that I am still needed and bring myself fully back into the physical plane. They let out breaths of relief. Looking at my family I took a deep breath and stood up and addressed the group of ponies that were looking at me for leadership as I am the one who saved them. I sighed and walk forwards a few steps the dry grass crunching under my feet. Looking over the entire group I spoke three words that gave the crowd a little amount of happiness. "Lets rebuild Ponyville." I said with a sad tone as I turned around and started walking back towards the town the group fallowing me silently hoping that I would lead them into a happy future and not a chaotic war. 'If only I believed the same thing' I thought to the readers with a sigh of sadness. *Author* "Stop breaking the fourth wall dude or Blitz will kill me."
15View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian Adventure15I stood on a floating rock shelf with Celestia, Luna, and Gaia looking over the newly rebuilt ponyville watching the ponies setting up a festival for this occasion. Glancing to my right I watched Celestia and Luna with a sad sigh. I opened my mouth to tell them what the demon Overlord had said but once again the words got caught in my throat. Sighing once more I looked back down and let a small smile cross my face at the ponies bellow me as they lived there simple lives. Turning I looked at Luna and Celestia. "Luna dear there is something that I need to take care of I will be back in a bit." I said with a fair amount of finality as I stepped of the rock and vanished from there sight. Taking another step I reappeared out in the Everfree Forest and started walking towards the source of magic that has been bugging me the whole ten days that Ponyville was being rebuilt. After a few minutes of tracking the magic signature that has been making my skin crawl I arrived at the mouth of a seemingly magically darkened cave. Walking closer to the mouth I heard a snap of a breaking twig behind me. Spinning around I brought my leg around and kicked a Changling in the head. The insect like pony flew away from me and flew up into a tree before falling down hitting several branches on the way down. It landed on the ground with a sickening crunch. Walking forward I looked over it and saw that it was still alive. Sighing I started to heal it and once it came to I picked it up and held it to the tree that it had just fell out of. "So what is a changling doing so close to Ponyville right after it suffered such a devastating attack?" I asked with a great amount of venom in my voice. The changling struggled in my grasp for several moments before stopping and looking at me with a fearful expression. "I don't know what your talking about." The changling said as I started to struggle in my grasp once again this time out of fear. I slowly rose him up so that I was holding him off the ground. I then slammed him into the tree hard. It gasped at the impact and started to whimper "I won't ask again. What are you doing so close to Ponyville after the demon attack?" I asked with a growl escaping my lips as I was not in a very good mood at the moment. The changling was looking at me with unveiled fear and started to cry. I wasn't for a second going to fall for any tricks so I just held it firmly to the tree and waited for it to stop crying. "I-I-I will tell you just please don't kill me." The changling blubbered out after a few moments of crying. I nodded and it slowly stopped crying knowing that I wouldn't kill it. Once it stopped crying fully it just sat there in my grasp taking deep breaths for a few seconds before looking up at me. "I was sent here by Queen Chrysalis to spy on Ponyville for weaknesses so she could get revenge on the elements of harmony for spoiling her plans." It said looking me in the eyes waiting for my choice on weather or not to kill it. I stood there staring it in the eyes for a few seconds before letting go. I turned around and started to walk away as it hit the ground. After a few feet of walking I stopped walking and looked over my shoulder. "Go back and tell your Queen that if she wants to get at the elements then she will need to get through me first." I said with a finality and then continued walking away. After a few more steps I disappeared and reappeared at the festival at Ponyville. I walked up the the group of ponies that was walking towards me and as I got closer I noticed that the group was being led by the two loves of my life, Luna and Gaia. Once I was within talking distance I gave them a hearty hello trying to keep the populace unaware that they were being watched not moments before. "Luna dearest we need to talk with your sister about something." I whispered to her quietly as I embrace her in a hug. Feeling her nod into my shoulder I started walking with her towards where Celestia should be. We arrived in the center of town where the party was in full swing and standing on the town halls porch was Celestia. I walked over to her through the crowd. "Celestia we need to talk its important." I calmly whispered into her ear. Turning her head she looked at me then at Luna who nodded her head. Sighing Celestia got down from the porch and followed her sister who was walking into one of the less densely populated area's. Once we were out of ear shot from all the ponies they both turned to me and waited for me to tell them the news. "Ok you know that I left to take care of something today right?" I asked the two of them quietly just encase there was something listening in. They nodded their head to show that they knew what I was talking about. Nodding I continued on with what I was saying. "Well there was a Changling spying on Ponyville trying to get inside info so that Chrysalis could enact her revenge on the elements of harmony." I said truthfully and was not at all surprised that they both looked shocked. Celestia got over her shock first she started to trot back and forth biting her lip tightly after several moments she turned to me. "What do you suggest we do?" She asked a little scared for her students safety. I looked up into the sky trying to think of what I would do to fix this situation. After several moments I looked her in the eyes. "This is what we are going to do." I said with conviction that surprised both princesses greatly.
Chapter 9View OnlineMy Chaotic Equestrian AdventureChapter 9The entire garden party was silent, looking at us with worried looks. I slowly bent down to her level and glared right back. As I reached her level I stopped moving for several seconds as I studied her. Her glared intensified and I swear that I could feel my skin start to burn. “You are just as much at fault for what happened to him as he is.” I said after a few more seconds of staring. She took a step back and shook her head and looked at me with a glare that would have scared the devil himself. “And just what does that supposed to mean?” She asked in a voice that was full of venom. I slowly stood up and my eyes started to change to a deep yellowish gold. There were thunder clouds slowly circling above that were made out of pure magical rage. I locked eyes with her to see that she was scared as were the other ponies. “That means that if you hadn’t raised him to be a pompous asshat he would still be here as an adult and wouldn’t need to go through childhood again.” I boomed out with a voice that would have scared the Elder Gods. I slowly walked towards the retreating form of Silver Lining. When she bumped into a shrub I stopped advancing. “If you tamper with that childs raising I will personally make you life a living hell.” I whispered out as I made the clouds disperse and walked over to a shocked Fancy Pants. I stopped in front of him and bowed. “I am sorry that I let my anger get the better of me and disrupted the garden party. I should probably leave now so as to not scare any more ponies.” I said still bowing to the pony that had invited me to the party in the first place. Hearing my plans of leaving he quickly snapped out of his daze and shook his head. “Oh you must simply stay that was the most interesting thing I have ever seen. I mean it was unexpected but you don’t have to leave because of it.” Said Fancy Pants as he started to lead me over to the food table again. I just shrugged my shoulders and followed him to the table. And what I saw there made my mouth water. “Oh my, you have Sweet Apple Acres goods here.” I said in a voice that was barely over a whisper. I looked at Fancy Pants who I saw had a smile of his own. I walked up to the table and grabbed some hard apple cider and an apple tart. “Yes we do after miss Applejack catered the royal wedding. We taste tested some of her wares and we found that even the most common apple dish made by the Apple family tasted like ambrosia.” Fancy Pants said as he picked up a slice of apple pie. I frowned at the greek reference. But I ignored it and started to sip my drink as we started walking around and I saw Octavia playing her cello. I looked at Fancy Pants and saw he was looking at me. I motioned us over to Octavia. We turned and started to walk towards the stage. I climbed up onto the stage and tapped Octavia on the shoulder to get her attention. When I was sure that I had said attention I leaned down and whispered into her ear. After a few seconds of whispering she had a pleased look on her face and she stepped off the stage. I then addressed the group of ponies that were watching me closely. “Hello I am as you probably know Paradox and I will play you a piece that was made by the greatest musician on my home world. The song is named Moonlight Sonata. I dedicated this to Luna my soon to be wife.” After I said all this I snapped my fingers and brought forth a piano. It was solid black and had ivory keys. I sat down, slipped into a trance and started to play. Youtube Video As I finished the last note of the song I came out of the trance and noticed that Luna was standing next to me with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. I got off the chair and knelt down and gave her a loving hug. After a few seconds of hugging I stood up and walked over to the front of the stage and bowed to the ponies receiving an applause from all but one pony.....won’t mention names. “Thank you noble class of Canterlot it has been a blast playing for you tonight.” As I said as I spun around and pointed at the piano making it shoot up into the air and once in had reached a suitable height it exploded into a bought of fireworks. I lead Luna down from the stage and into the main part of the party. Octavia walked up to me and smiles at Luna with a friendly grace. “Hello Princess I would like to borrow Paradox for a moment I would like to talk about him working the Canterlot Orchestra.” She said as she beamed at me with a smile and I swear I could see Money symbols in her eyes. Luna was going to say something but I beat her to it. “It can wait till the morning Miss Octavia. Tonight I will be having a good evening with Luna.” I said as I walked away with a frown on my face. Luna followed after me with a shocked look on her face. When she caught up to me she found me pacing around the the entrance of the gardens away from the ponies. “What is the matter my dear Paradox?” Asked Luna as she rubbed my side with her head. I looked down at her a smiled. I hugged her for all that I was werth. “That is a bit of music that moves me deeply. Every time that I hear it I get a little sad.” I said as I hugged her. I simply hugged her for a few seconds and then let go and wiped my eyes of any moisture. “Lets return to the party shall we?” I asked as I started to walk amongst the ponies again. I walked over to the food table and grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at one of the tables. Luna came over and sat next to me. She leaned up against me and asked the question that I knew would come eventually. “Paradox how is it that you know how to always make me smile when I am feeling down.” She asked as I chuckled to myself as the readers thought that she was going to ask how I knew so much about their world. “Well my dear Luna, I know because you are the most beautiful mare in the world and I will never make you cry.” I said as I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me. We sat there the rest of the party talking about nothing in particular. I wake up the next morning and groaning about the fact that I can get drunk off of almost no alcohol. I run into the bathroom and puke into the toilet. I spit a few times and slowly crawl into the shower. After a few minutes of warm shower I come to. I hear humming to my immediate right. I look over to see Luna who is now laughing at me. “You don’t take alcohol very well do you?” Asked Luna to which I simply nod my head as speaking is not a very good idea at the moment. I start to wash Luna and she starts to wash me. The steam starts to swirl and last’s night's passion is rekindled. After we finished in the shower we teleported to the main eating hall. I walked over and sat down at the table and Luna sat down across from me. As her flank hit the chair Celestia, Cadence, and Shining Armor walks into the eating hall. They sat down around us Celestia at the head of the table, Cadence sat down next to Luna and Shining sat next to me. A waiter came over to the table and got our orders, we all ordered pancakes. “So Paradox what are you going to do today?” Asked Celestia with a happy voice. I looked up at her as the food came out of the kitchen and the head chef sat down next to Shining with his own food, he had a bowl of oatmeal. “I have to go pick up something from ponyville library.” I said as I sipped my orange juice that had no pulp. I looked over to Celestia who had a curious face plastered onto her muzzle. I looked at her and groaned as I knew she won’t leave me alone until her curiosity was fed. “You won’t leave me alone till I tell you what I am getting are you?” I asked Celestia as she looked at me. She looked thoughtful for a few moments then playfully shook her head. I groaned again as I knew this would be awkward. “I am going to go get a mage staff from the Golden Oak Library.” I said just above a whisper. Celestia looked shocked at first but her face slowly changed to a glare. “Why would you need such a high level focal point?” Asked Celestia as she glared at me. I shook my head. I looked at Celestia and started my exclamation. “Celestia do you realize how magic my is working. I don't have a natural focal point like you ponies. I am just pushing out magic with an order to change the world. I cant directly control the power that I am using. I'll need to have something that won’t shatter at the most simple spell, so I need a mage staff.” I said slowly so they would see the reason behind this. Celestia sighed and looked down for several seconds and looked back at me. She looked at me with gentle sternness. “I will trust you.....Please don’t abuse that trust.” She said with a small defeated voice. I walked over to her and grabbed her up in a hug. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” I said as I set her down. I then walked to the door and opened it to show the hills outside of ponyville. I walked through the door and outside of the castle and closed the door making it disappear. I then proceeded to walk toward Ponyville and started to sing a song to myself. “Shipwreck in a sea of faces There's a dreamy world up there Dear friends in higher places Carry me away from here Travel light, let the sun eclipse you 'Cause your flight is about to leave And there's more to this brave adventure Than you'd ever believe Birds-eye view, awake the stars 'cause they're all around you Wide eyes will always brighten the blue Chase your dreams, and remember me, sweet bravery 'Cause after all those wings will take you, up so high So bid the forest floor goodbye as you race the wind And take to the sky (you take to the sky) On the heels of war and wonder There's a stormy world up there You can't whisper above the thunder But you can fly anywhere Purple burst of paper birds This picture paints a thousand words So take a breath of myth and mystery And don't look back Birds-eye view, awake the stars 'cause they're all around you Wide eyes will always brighten the blue Chase your dreams, and remember me, sweet bravery 'Cause after all those wings will take you, up so high So bid the forest floor goodbye as you race the wind And take to the sky (you take to the sky) There's a realm above the trees Where the lost are finally found Touch your feathers to the breeze And leave the ground Birds-eye view, awake the stars 'cause they're all around you Wide eyes will always brighten the blue Chase your dreams, and remember me, sweet bravery 'Cause after all those wings will take you, up so high So bid the forest floor goodbye as you race the wind And take to the sky.” As I finished the song I heard a scream and several ponies ran away from me. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to walk into ponyville. I walked by the Sugarcube Corner and I heard muttering and I looked over to the window to see Pinkie Pie smiling at me. She then proceeded to teleport into my face. “Hello Paradox how are you today I should throw you a party because you're new in town and you will make many friends.” She said a mile a minute. I just got down and picked her up and walked into the Sugarcube Corner, walked past the scared group of ponies and set Pinkie down behind the counter. I looked at her stern like and looked over the whole room. “Two things Pinkie Pie.......” The whole group of ponies started crying out Pinkie’s name, sobbing about how they're going to miss her, and when her funeral will be. “A good employee doesn't leave their place of work unless getting an ok from their boss, and can I have a cinnamon roll smothered in peanut butter.” I said with a big smile at the ponies who looked at me funny. At this point Rainbow Dash flew through the front door, yelling about some monster. “Hey monster I am Rainbow Dash and I am gonna.......Oh hey there Paradox what brings you down from Canterlot?” Asked a blushing blue mare as I slowly ate my cinnamon roll. I smiled at Rainbow Dash and walked up to her. I bent down booped her nose. ‘This is going to be a fun day’ I thought to myself as she looked at me with a weird expression on her face.