A Rainbow Redemption

Rainbow Dash sat in Fluttershy’s cottage for some time after her friend had left, not having the energy to do much more than twist and turn on the couch, her head still pounding from last night’s binge at the local bar. Being a mare of constant activity even the short time she spent on the couch so far was enough to start to drive her mad. Rainbow wished she at least had a Daring Do book, but from what she saw there weren’t any books in the cottage; they must be in Shy’s bedroom, she thought. But she was far too tired for even her boredom to overcome the pounding in her head and the ach in her heart. With nothing but her thoughts to occupy her, Rainbow Dash did the one think that she hated to do more than anything else, think. She thought about the past, about Cloudsdale, about flight school, about her failure, but most of all about her father. All of those terrible memories of before she was able to escape that place plagued her mind. Painful memory after painful memory, crowding together in her head, almost as if they were fighting for her attention after being ignored for so long. But one bittersweet memory stuck out from the others, a day in which Rainbow learned who she was in more ways than she liked to think about. A memory that part of her wished she could forget but another cherished it as the very foundation for who she had become.

*****

9 YEARS AGO

Rainbow Dash awoke that morning expecting a normal day. As normal as a pony in her position would allow, which not very normal at all, but she did her best to cope. One thing that always made her feel better was her friend Fluttershy, they had met early on in flight school and had banded together to help each other escape the ridicule they face at the hands of their fellow classmates. But that only help so much, she still had her father to contend with and there was nothing Fluttershy could do about that.

Rainbow Dash creped from her room, trying to be as quiet as possible. Their cloud home was small; a single story with just barely enough room for its two occupants, but her father could afford little else when he spends what little he makes on getting drunk at the bar. She hoped that her father was still asleep and that she could get out without him noticing. Rainbow had woken up a little late today but her father was often past out drunk on the couch. But she had no such luck today, as she came silently out of the hallway of their cloud home she heard the gruff voice of her father.

“Were the buck have you been!” her father said, clearly angry as he came around the corner out of the kitchen. He was a large imposing stallion by normal standards but compared to Rainbow Dash, who was one of the smallest fillies in her class he was almost a giant. With a tangled dirty blond mane and a dark brown coat that was just as ragged as his mane.

“I uhh… was in my room” She stuttered in an almost Fluttershy-esque voice as she looked down try to avoid eye contact with her father.

“Address me properly!”

“I-I was in my room Sir” she said still look at her own hooves.

“I bucking know that you retard, what I want to know is why you weren’t out here cleaning the kitchen like I told you to do LAST NIGHT!” he was starting to yell as he drew slowly closer to Rainbow, she was too afraid to even try and respond. “And look at me when I bucking talking to you, you worthless runt. I don’t know what your mother ever saw in you, your weak and spineless!” he was almost on top of her now, staring down at her with a fiery anger in his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, it was late and… I have school today so I though…” she was interrupted by her father’s hoof across her face, knocking her off her hooves.

“You don’t bucking think, you do what I tell you and I don’t care about school, you’re never going to make anything of you worthless self.” He was seething now and Rainbow knew it was just best to say whatever it was he wanted to hear at this point.

“I’m sorry Sir, I won’t do it again, I’ll get to work right away.” She said in the best obedient and subdued voice she could muster as she shakily began to get back onto her hooves. It would mean she would be late for school and she would have to sit in the front of the class but that option was better than the alternative.

Her father closed the small distance he had created between them and forced Rainbow back down with a hoof to her barrel before she could get all the way up. Applying enough force to make her yelp in pain while glaring down at her, “You had better see to that, next time I won’t be so lenient to your disobedience, whelp” he growled with venom. “Do you understand”.

“Y-Yes Sir” Rainbow said on the verge of tears, her voice trembling. Once she had submitted he raised his hoof off of Rainbow’s chest and pushed her roughly away.

“Now get to work!”

She quickly scurried off to the kitchen, her muzzle aching were her father had hit her. She could hear him leave the house, likely going to get drunk at one of the nearby bars. Rainbow could leave now and get her work done after school so she could be on time and see her friend but it wasn’t worth the risk. Even if her father rarely came home until very late when he left like this. Rainbow sighed to herself, as she got to work, clearing any messes that had been made and scrubbing the walls and the floor. Until it was clean enough to prevent a beating, absentmindedly thinking of her mother, Summer Breeze.

Her father hadn’t been like this, it had started when her mom disappeared. She had been the only thing that helped hold her father together, when she was gone he began drinking more and getting angrier. Rainbow Dash didn’t understand why he was acting like this and why he had started becoming so violent, she was far too young. Rainbow remembered little of her mom but what few things she could remember always made Rainbow Dash feel better, her pleasant smile and limitless kindness. With her sky blue coat and tri-color mane of red, yellow and blue, which in many ways reminded Rainbow Dash of herself. Rainbow looked up to her, despite the fact that she remembered little of her, but she was the only person who she could remember that had believed in her. One day Breeze had to leave for a time and she said would be back home soon, but she never came back. Rainbow never heard anything from her, or of where she had gone, and whenever she tried to ask her father he would only get angry at her. This had been years ago, when Rainbow was still very young and still her father would not talk about it, not that Rainbow would dare ask him anymore, she had learned better than to be anywhere near her father longer than absolutely necessary.

With her chores done Rainbow was free to leave but after what happened with her father Rainbow Dash was in no mood to go to school and have the foals there laugh at her too. So she wandered out of the house, no wanting to stay there either incase her father came back. Rainbow flew were ever her wings took her, head held low and hooves limp. When she pulled herself out her mind she found that her wings had taken her to the race park near the edge of the city and the school that she and Fluttershy went to. It wasn’t very well kept and was run down but it was where she spent most of her free time and she found the place to be comforting. Racing was one of the few things that took her mind off of the world.

But she was didn’t feel up to flying right now, so she just sat in the shadow of one of the cloud obstacles for a few hours. The words of her father ringing in her head “worthless” “useless”. It didn’t feel right to her but she could help but take them to heart. Letting those memories steep, thinking over them again and again, her anger over came her.

“I’m NOT useless” she yelled out to no one in particular, the park was empty with everypony in school. Rainbow Dash sighed to herself, her little outburst relieving some of the pressure building in her mind. She knew yelling at the sky wasn’t going to solve anything but she didn’t know what to do. Looking up at the sky she wished that she could just fly away, but were would she go, were would she live. Rainbow still didn’t have the answer to those questions and so she stayed.

The sun was hanging in the middle of the sky, it was about midday. Rainbow saw this and realized it was about lunch time at the school. Not wanting to leave her friend alone all day and not wanting to be alone any longer herself. Rainbow flew off in the direction of the little cloud structure that was her school. She wasn’t far off and could see all of the other little foals playing in the yard, except for one who sat lone against the wall of the school house far away from the other foals.

Rainbow flew straight for the little lonely pegasus. Little not being exactly the correct word as Fluttershy was bigger than a lot of other fillies and even bigger than a few of the colts. Due to the fact that she entered school a year late, being the timid filly she was, she had been afraid to go.

“Fluttershy” Rainbow Dash called out once she was within ear shot.

Fluttershy looked up lazily, little animation in her actions as she stood up to face Rainbow Dash as she approached, she did not jump up or wave like Rainbow had expected. While Fluttershy has never been an extremely excitable mare, Rainbow Dash immediately recognized the telltale signs that her friend was troubled and sprinted to her side.

Landing next to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash was able to get a better look at her. Her eyes were red with streaks that ran along the fur under them. Her coat looked a rough and dirty in patches, like she had fallen.

“Fluttershy, what happened to you?”

“Half-Court and ‘hic’ Dead Lift… they were saying m-mean things about you” Fluttershy started shakily, doing all she could to hold back her tears. “And I-I said they shouldn’t say those things about you, t-then they can after me and they pushed me and called me names…” Fluttershy couldn’t continue as she broke down into tears.

Rainbow Dash took a quick look to see if anyone was around and when she saw that they were indeed alone she wrapped her friend into a comforting hug, a mix of empathy and anger brewing in her. Showing a side of herself that few ponies had ever seen. She would get the two that did this to her friend, to the one pony who had ever dared to care about her.

“Ohh how sweet” a light brown colt with a basketball cutie mark cooed mockingly, “Look at the two little flightless pegasi. See Pig Skin, I told you they swing that way”

Rainbow look up to see Half-Court and his lackeys Dead Lift and Pig Skin had appeared around the corner, all walking towards the two with smug grins.

“G-Get out of here, you had no right to do what you did to Fluttershy.”

“Oh come on Rainbow Crash little Fluttercry just got what was coming to her” Half-Court said that grim still plastered on his face.

“She just had to get in our way and interrupt a nice little conversation we were having about you, you know about your little thing for fillies” Pig Skin chimed, the three laughing at her. Half-Court was almost on top of them while Pig Skin and the massive Dead Lift stood right behind him.

“Ya, she real does need to learn to not stick her snout were it doesn’t belong” Half-Court said while leaning in closer to Rainbow Dash, “You don’t what her to get hurt do you”.

Rainbow could take insults, especially if they were directed at her but she would not let her friend be threatened or hurt. She jumped up onto her hooves, “Leave Fluttershy out of this, if it’s about me keep it that way” she growled at them.

Pig Skin took a step closer but Half-Court put a hoof up to stop him, “And how do you think you’re going to stop me.”

“I uhh… a-a race, ya I’ll race you. If I win you leave Fluttershy and me along for now on.” Rainbow stood gaining a bit more poise, racing being one of the few things that she still had any confidence in.

“How about just Fluttercry over there, I wouldn’t want to miss out on all the good times with my favorite rainbow filly” Half-Court smiled sarcastically.

“Fine, you guys don’t bother me anyway” Rainbow said trying to sound unfazed.

“Really, because I think we bother you a lot more then you show.” Pig Skin said, that smug grin returning. “

“N-No you don’t…”  Rainbow replied, her composure waning.

“Whatever, lie to yourself. But what do we get if we win?” he asked.

“I… uhh…” Rainbow stammered.

“How about if we win you get your blank flacks out of this playground and don’t come back. And I don’t care where you go just as long as I don’t have to see you ugly faces anymore” Half-Court stated.

“Fine, after school at the race park than” Rainbow said trying again to sound assertive, her anger aiding her.

“Sounds fine to us” Half-Court smile, pushing her roughly in the barrel with his hoof.

With that final act they turned and swiftly walked away, likely to fine some other little colts or fillies to bother.

“Augh, I hate those guys” Rainbow exclaimed to Fluttershy, using anger to try to mask the other emotions that plagued her. She turned to see Fluttershy cowering on the ground. “Are you ok” Fluttershy just nodded in response as Rainbow Dash reached a hoof out to help lift her up. “I’ll win that race and they’ll leave you alone, no one’s going to bother you anymore”.

“B-But what about you, you only said they would have to leave me alone, what about you?”

“I’ll be fine Flutters, you know you don’t have to worry about me” giving Fluttershy a weak smile, trying to convince herself as much as her friend.

The bell in the school house tower rang, signaling the end of lunch. Rainbow looked up to the bell tower and sighed.

“You go back to class now, Flutters, I’ll see you after school”

“Can’t you come back with me?”

“No, if I do I won’t hear the end of it from Ms. Morning Glory. How I should take school more seriously and that it’s important to show up on time.” Throwing her forelegs into the air, “I don’t need it, everypony’s always telling what to do, I can do just fine on my own!” exclaimed in a sudden burst of emotion.

“Ohh… well ok, see you after school then” Fluttershy replied softly, a little taken aback by Rainbows outburst.

The anger left her leaving her with only sadness, “Ya… see you later” Rainbow said as she flew away, back to the park, to wait the rest of the day out.

Once Rainbow was back under the shade of one of the cloud obstacles that made up the course she realized how hungry she was. She had not eaten anything all day. Sighing to herself, she was too nervous to worry about food, flying may have been her last bastion of escape from her life but still she could not shack that sense of anxiety. They’re all wrong about me. I can do this, I’m just as useful as anypony else. She thought to herself, trying to banish the creeping thought that maybe they were all right, that she was stupid and worthless. But she couldn’t let herself think that, she couldn’t break down, she had to stay strong, for Fluttershy if for nothing else.

Soon the time came to pass; Rainbow heard the bells ring in the distance. The race was quickly approaching and she would finally prove herself, those colts would leave them along, or at least they would leave Fluttershy alone, her dad would finally be proud of her accomplishing something, things would get better, they would she knew it. These thoughts put her in a more chipper mood as she began to look forward to the race, to beating the arrogant colts. Rainbow knew this would be a turning point in her life, she could feel it.

She looked up to see a large group of pegasi flying towards the park. While racing there was popular, it wasn’t this popular. The only explanation she could think of was Half-Court and his friends must have told everypony about the race. This put a lot more pressure on Rainbow Dash but at the same time made her feel a little bit excited, this was going to be big. She could see that the 3 bullies were at the head of the group with a very reluctant looking Fluttershy flying weakly, trailing in the back of the group.

They landed near her the three carrying that smug grim that Rainbow hated seeing so much as the rest of the pegasi land around them, trying to find the best spots to watch the race.

“So let’s get this over with, I don’t want this taking all day” Half-Court started. “Let’s just do the normal course one lap.” The “normal” course wasn’t much to look at, just a some twists and turns and a few hoops to fly through, Rainbow and most of the other pegasi had flown it countless times.

“Fine, let’s do this” Rainbows earlier internal pep-talk keeping her confidence strong, things would be different after today.

They lined up at the starting line, Fluttershy holding the flag and a dozen ponies looking upon the 3 racers. She was only racing against half-Court and Pig Skin, Dead Lift wasn’t much of a flier, his wings were not strong enough to carry his massive weight. Rainbow licked her lips, hunched down and flared her wings, getting into a readied position. Watching Fluttershy closely, waiting for the wave of the flag. Then the flag fell and she was off, for a moment she was neck and neck with the other too but she quickly began to pull away from them. Not even noticing that the force of their take off had knocked Fluttershy off of the cloud she had been standing on.

The feeling was amazing the wind in her mane, the adrenaline; she like it, she like it a lot. Any lingering fear now slipped away as a smile spread across her face, the first genuine smile she had had for a long time. Rainbow Dash flew faster and faster, living up to her name as she dashed around corners and through the hoops, leaving the two bullies far behind.

She began to feel a pressure begin to build around her but she was too excited to notice, the pressure grew tighter as flew ever faster but she still pushed on, she was going to win this no matter what. The something happened; the pressure broke, being replaced by a loud boom, leaving a feeling a pure freedom she had never experienced. Something inside her clicked, this flying, this racing, it felt right. A wave of color emanating from her as she looped around the final bend and began approaching the finish line.

She landed with that huge smile still firmly upon her face, panting as the crowd cheered, amazed by the show. Rainbow Dash looked around to fined Fluttershy to celebrate, but she was no were to be found. As she began looking Half-Court finished the race and flew to her. He started talking but Rainbow heard none of it, Fluttershy wouldn’t have just taken off, something must have happened.

“Where’s Fluttershy” she said, but it seemed her question had gone unheard. “WHERE IS FLUTTERSHY” she said barked out, worry and anger seeping into her voice. This caught Half-Court’s attention and he stopped midsentence.

“I don’t know” he said confused but irritated that he had been interrupted in whatever it was he was saying.

Rainbow Dash just took off as Half-Court yelled at her. She yelled out to everypony that was still there, trying to find out what happened to her friend. She finally got her answer when a colt that had been watching said that he had seen her fall off one of the clouds.

“And nopony went to help her!” she cried out.

“Why would we, she’s a pegasus, she can fly.”

“She isn’t a strong flyer!”

“That’s not my problem” the colt returned apathetically.

“Augh” is all Rainbow Dash yelled put as she flew off towards the ground under were Fluttershy had been, fearing what she might see but hoping Fluttershy had at least slowed her fall enough to not get too badly hurt.

What she found on the ground relieved her. Fluttershy was sitting in the shade of a tree surrounded by squirrels, rabbits and other woodland critters, she thought to scare them away as she approached but she quickly realized that they were not attacking her, Fluttershy seemed to be talking to them.

“Ohh, Fluttershy, I was really worried about you” Rainbow called out. Fluttershy looked up to see her friend as Rainbow landed next to her, Rainbow Dash calming slightly now that she knew Fluttershy was ok.

“I’m fine, the butterflies caught me, and look”, Fluttershy pointed a hoof toward her flank excitedly. Were three pink butterflies, that Rainbow Dash hadn’t previously noticed, now resided. “And I think you should be a little excited too” she said with a wide grin.

Rainbow looked back at herself and saw the bright tri-colored lightning bolt coming from a cloud on her own flank. She had been too worried to have noticed it before. But now she jumped in joy, today truly had been special. She had protected Fluttershy and had gotten her Cutie Mark, and it was a racing Cute Mark no less. This was the best day of her life.

“Oh My Gosh, Oh My Gosh, Oh My Gosh, this is so awesome” she continue bouncing ecstatically. “How did you get yours Shy?” Rainbow asked as she calmed slightly.

Fluttershy pointed to the animals that surrounded her, “I founded out how much I love these little woodland critters, and they love me back.”

“That’s so awesome Shy, we should go show your parents, they’re going to be so happy, I bet they’d even make a special dessert for you.” Rainbow said with a genuine smile. Food on her mind after not eating anything that day.

“Yeah it is starting to get late and I don’t want my parents to worry about me,  we can show your parents too, maybe they’ll do something special for you too, Dashie” Fluttershy said as she began to get up and say goodbye to the creatures.

“Yeah I hope my… my parents with love it, they have been wanting me to… try and find my talent, they’ll be so happy...”Rainbow said, choosing those last words carefully not wanting reveal much about her father. Adding on in nothing but a whisper to herself so Fluttershy would not catch it, “I hope”. While Rainbow was happy and hoped her father would share at least some of her joy, she was unsure, having been use to her father’s constant anger for so long. “Well, we should go then”, she smile at Fluttershy, “a lot’s happened today”.

They took off the ground; Rainbow flew slower than she usually would so she could stay with Fluttershy, who wasn’t a very strong flier. They had to take a few short breaks on a cloud every so often but Rainbow Dash didn’t mind at all. She was going to stay with her friend, stay by her side, loyal no matter what. That was a promise she made to herself that day after the race, and as she said it to herself in her mind, she felt something spark within her, a warmth she had never felt before, as if a piece of her had fallen into place.

The two friends made it to Fluttershy’s modest but well-kept home. Her parents were the very loving type, always there for her. It made Rainbow jealous sometime, but it had made Fluttershy a little sensitive. Before Fluttershy could open the door her mother, Garden Flower burst through. She was a light pink color with a yellow-blond mane and a gardening trowel as a Cutie Mark

“Fluttershy, sweetie, where have you been your father and I have been so worried” she said, wrapping Fluttershy in a loving embrace.

“I’m ok, Rainbow here made sure of that” she pointed to Rainbow who stood behind her, somewhat embarrassed. “And look, I got this” pointing now to her newly found Cutie Mark.

“Oh, honey that’s amazing, come on in side so you can tell me all about it” Flower happily beckoned to the two little fillies in. Seeing Rainbow's Cutie Mark now for the first time, “It looks like you might have a story to share too” she said smiling warmly at Rainbow Dash.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Flower, I can’t its getting real late, I had better get home.” Rainbow smile back, but hers was weaker and slightly forced. She was still very excited but as the time drew closer that her father would actually see her and new mark, she grew increasingly nervous.

“Well ok than, dear, I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“See you tomorrow Dashie” Fluttershy waved happily as they closed the door.

Rainbow sighed to herself but stood tall, “It’s all going to be fine he’s going to love it, finally he’ll be at least a little proud”. She got her self worked up again; getting excited to show him as she flew home. The flight was usually short but today it was even more so as she couldn’t wait to finally get the approval of her father. Even though he was so abusive at times, that was all she wanted, just to have him say one time that he was proud of her, that he loved her.

She rushed in the door of their tiny run down home, a sight that usually saddened her but today she paid it no heed.

“Dad, Dad, look!” she babbled energetically.

“Wait, what…” he said groggily as he fell off the couch he had been sleeping on having been startled by Rainbow’s outburst, nocking a few bottles over on the coffee table as he bumped into it. He groaned slightly as he regained his balance and began to stand up, he was unmistakably drunk, the bottles on the table being  evidence of that. “You stupid bitch!!” he yelled out. “What have I told you about being bucking quiet when I sleeping! Or are you to damned retarded to remember that?!”

“I…I” Rainbow stammered, her vision began to mist over as she fought back tears. “I-I just…” her voice started to waver. She tried to point to her newly inscribed mark, there was still a chance he would care, maybe he just hadn’t seen it yet.

He looked where she was pointing, his expression not moving from one of contempt and anger, “So you got your bucking Cutie Mark, it’s about damn time. I had already had mine for a year by the time I was your age!” His voice coming down in volume but it was just as angry and condescending. “What is it for anyway; it doesn’t look like much”.

It was hard for her to keep her composure. She had been so sure she would have gotten something other than her father’s contempt for her achievement; it hurt to see him brush it aside so easily. “I won... a race. I went super-fast and there was this big explosion with lots of colors, it was awesome!” she tried to put some energy into the words hoping that some of that energy would rub off on her father.

“RACING” he yelled, Rainbow winced at the sudden volume in her father voice. “Of all the things that you could do, RACING!”

“I, it’s fun and-and...” Rainbow stuttered as she tried to defend her talent.

“Don’t interrupt me” he shouted as she struck Rainbow knocking her off of her hooves for the second time that day. “Fun doesn’t mean anything, fun doesn’t pay for anything! You think that racing is going to accomplish anything; it’s useless, just like you! Nothing good comes out of racing!”

“B-But the Wonderbolts, I could...”

He laughed, a bitter undertone hanging in his voice, “The Wonderbolts, you think a tiny weak-winged runt like you could get into the Wonderbolts.” He growled mere inches from her muzzle as he stood over of her with a hoof on her throat.

“I just... wanted... you... to be... proud” she croaked having trouble forming words both because of her father’s hoof and the emotional pain that clouded her mind. It felt as if her world was collapsing in around her.

“For what” he spat, “Being a failure, being useless. Why can’t you be like Summer, why can’t you make something of you self!” He lifted his hoof off of her and hit her across the muzzle, harder than he had before. His drunken rage and memories of Summer Breeze getting the better of him. He lifted her by the throat and slammed a hoof into her barrel with a sickening crack, making Rainbow Dash cry out in pain. He dropped her to the ground, for a moment his anger was mixed with despair and his stance softened. But it quickly was replaced with pure hatred “GO TO YOUR ROOM!!” he exploded, marching away to grab one of the upturned bottles that still contained some of its fog inducing liquor.

Rainbow quickly ran off, taking advantage of her chance to escape. Hastily closing her door and jumping into her bed, she finally let her tears flow, caving in to her pain. She couldn’t think straight, her mind refusing to work, none of it made sense. Why did all of this have to happen to her, why couldn’t she like one of those ponies that everyone likes, with a nice family and ponies who cared for her? Her father would never care, no matter what she did.

Maybe he was right though, she was one of the last ones in her class to get her Cutie Mark, and she was the smallest pony in her class. All she could do was fly, every pegasus could fly, there was nothing special about her, she thought. Rainbow Dash hated to admit this to herself but a pony can only try and tell them self’s something for so long, while everypony else tells them something different. No matter how much they don’t want to believe it, before they can’t help but begin to believe it themselves. Her chest pained her, not from any physical bruises left by her father but by the emotional ones. She had stayed so strong for such a long time, believing that she would go somewhere, that she could do anything is she put her mind to it and holding up against everypony who said otherwise. Giving them a brave face and saying, “no, one day I will be great... one day”.

But before long it all began to crumble around her, what her father had said today, dismissing her greatest achievement, and casting her aside like so much useless chaff. It had been the final blow, that which had broken her resolve, demolished the fight that had been raging with in her mind.

“I am nothing”, she cried to herself.

Rainbow buried her head, sobbing into her pillow, trying to cry herself to sleep. An occasional angry smashing of a bottle coming from somewhere outside her door, where her father was stilling roaming. She may have resigned to believing that she was stupid, worthless and weak. But she had been right about one thing, bitterly right; today had been special, today things had changed, but not in the way she had hoped.

******

Present

After she had escaped that place, once she came of age, Rainbow had locked away any memory of her father, no longer even able to recall his name. Only now realizing the tears that had been flowing freely from her, staining her coat as they leaked down her muzzle. Wiping them away as best she could Rainbow Dash stood up from the couch she had been lying on, head pounding worse than before, her body giving her no more relief than her mind. She needed to be alone, after the floodgate of her past had opened, Rainbow could not stand the thought of being around any other ponies and she definitely could not see her friends like this. They would think she was weak and laugh at her, they would leave her, just like everypony has.

Rainbow Dash flew lazily to the outskirts of town, hoping to avoid be seen by anypony.  She eventually found a cloud, high enough in the sky that no pony would find her. She didn’t what to be along right now, she never wanted to be alone but she didn’t know how to face ponies like this. Emotion had been something she had long ago disposed of; it only ever caused her pain. The sun was low in the sky now, soon Celestia would lower it and another day would pass, each only ever becoming harder than the last. Rainbow lied on that cloud, head resting between her hooves, as she watch the sun set, her mind replaying that day over and over, the day she realized the truth, that she would always be a failure. A truth that may have only been a truth to herself, but once an idea takes hold of the mind and is given nearly a decade to fester and rot into that minds very foundation, it becomes impossible to uproot and to clear away the damage that has been done. Her last thread of hope, the only thing that had kept her from sinking completely into herself, had been becoming a Wonderbolt and at last proving everypony wrong, but now that that was gone, what was left for her to hold on to.